YouSaid · the spoken record

Alisa Cohn

lines on the record: 140
first: 2021-10-19
most recent: 2021-10-19
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Real mastery over the way you can handle sensitive topics and sensitive conversations and be able to say the right thing to the right people at the right time. Feel free to reach out to me through my website, alyssicone.com, and I'd love to hear how you use this material and what difference it made for you. Thank you.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm sorry we've lost touch over the years. I'd love to get reconnected anyway and hear how you're doing. The reason though that I'm reaching out right now is that I have a specific ask. I'm looking for a new job in marketing and your company is on my dream list. I'm wondering if you'd consider connecting me to some of the folks in your marketing department not to ask them for a job, but just to begin to get to know some people there. If it's not a good time, I totally understand and no worries at all. Either way, it would be great to get in touch. Then send it. And don't think about it. They'll either write back or they won't. Either way, let it inspire you to stay in touch with your network consistently. So that's it. I hope that you find this material as helpful as my clients do. And I absolutely hope that you take one or two things away from this scripts masterclass and practice them so that you can gain real dexterity and real”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That you were just thinking about them, they're going to find out that you actually need something. So just be honest and upfront and give them an out to say no. Here's an email you can write to someone you know whom you've lost touch with. Hi Brian, I hope you've been well. I saw on LinkedIn that you moved to Denver. I'm sure it's wonderful for you to be there since I know you always love to ski.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'll give you an example. Sam, the son of a friend of mine, was trying to transition out of being a lawyer and looking for a job in the startup world. I happened to know the founder of a startup who was building a legal platform. It was very quick and very simple to write her a note that said, hi Mandy, looks like your company is doing great. Ina someone who's trying to transition from being a lawyer into the startup world. He's super smart, proactive, and can juggle multiple balls, and obviously he knows all about the legal profession. Do you want an intro? She said yes, I connected them, and then she hired him. And they both thanked me. It felt great. That's a moment that reminds me how fruitful networking is and how satisfying it is. Remember to dig your well before you're thirsty and stand touch with key people. But if you do need a favor from someone you haven't talked to in a while, just reach out, be warm, and be direct.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So be on the lookout for that. You might also see an article or a book that would interest them or come across a memory of some sort. I have a former client who's embarking on a sabbatical, and I recently saw an article about things to do on your sabbatical. I sent her a quick email, hi Kayla. I saw this article and I thought it might help you as you start your sabbatical. Let me know if you like to brainstorm how to get the most out of your downtime and also enjoy it. Hope it's starting off great. Again, 20 seconds, super easy. Offering to help is a great way to cultivate your network. As you communicate with people or see them on social media, you'll get a sense of what's going on with them. Maybe they're moving and you might know people in their new city. Maybe their kid is looking for an internship and you know of a good program for her. You can just send a quick note offering to help.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This doesn't have to be their biggest achievement ever. You can just write a quick note of congratulations. In my network, I recently read that one of the Broadway producers that I know got named to a prestigious committee. So I sent him a note and I said, hi, Brian, I just saw that you got named to the XYZ committee. Congratulations. They're lucky to have you. I hope everything else in your world is also going great. That's it. It took 20 seconds. He wrote back to me in 30 minutes and he was so happy to hear from me because people love being congratulated and acknowledged for an honor.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Keep in touch with your network and give first when you think about how you can add value to the people around you, you build up a tribe and they'll be willing to help you when you need it. So I'm going to give you a few super simple networking scripts and also suggestions. The first suggestion is to keep in touch with your old friends and colleagues. Now that can be hard to do especially when we're all busy. So the best way to handle this is to keep a spreadsheet or a list of people who are important to you personally and professionally. You can list out 10 people or you can list out 50 people or 100 whatever feels manageable for you. And then regularly scan your environment for opportunities to be in touch with them. So an example is you might see on LinkedIn that one of your contacts got promoted or just wrote a book or changed jobs or got quarreled in some newspaper or whatever.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The point of these books is to understand the power of building and nourishing a network and doing this before you actually need anything. Your network is important because through your network, you can get the best job opportunities, the best advice, and frankly, it's just fun to have interesting people in your life and you get them through your network.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And in fact, I'm sure it's the right decision because you're looking at the business, you're assessing what the business needs, and you're making decisions based on what the business needs. Some employees might leave. Now most will stay, and if you tell them straight up your plan, they'll appreciate that you're being honest. It is definitely important to bring in a great leader, and if people see they can learn a lot from the new executive, that will reinforce your decision, and they'll ultimately be happy with their role and the overall success of the company. Going to end this with one of my favorite topics networking. I was inspired a long time ago by a book called Dig Your Well Before Your Thirsty by Harvey McKay and more recently by the book Superconnect by Richard Kosh and Greg Lockwood.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That means for you is that I'll be bringing an executive in to run your department and you'll report to this new person. I want you to know I'll be looking for the right leader who will also mentor you and help build your skills and your career so that you can continue to grow. If you want to talk about this, I'm happy to discuss it. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to know this is what I've decided to do. Now, as I said, many employees are not going to like this, but it's one of the tough decisions that you have to make as a CEO or as any leader.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Elena, I'm making some changes and I want to discuss them with you. You've done a tremendous job bringing your department to where it is now. What you've accomplished has been amazing and we literally could not have gotten where we are without you. Because of your hard work and everybody else's hard work, we're hitting our milestones and we're growing and that's awesome to help us get to the next level I'm going to be bringing in some seasoned leaders who have scaled companies like ours before. They'll have the experience and the context to bring us to the next level”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Here's another one on one that's not so fun, but it's really important to be able to tell employees this how to tell someone you're bringing in a manager on top of them. We often call it layering because it's about putting a layer of management on top of your employees. It's actually very common in the startup world because what happens is the company is successful, which is great. And what that means is you need to bring in more seasoned executives to help manage the company at the new scale. So it's great news, but employees really don't like this. They see it as unfair because they've been there for so long and they're not getting the opportunity. And they might even see it as a demotion. It's not a demotion. It's actually, again, good news, not bad news, but not to them. So you have to help them understand it and you have to be transparent about it. So here's a script to address it.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then you can close this discussion by saying, I'm here to help you with your career growth and of course to help you do a great job at your job. If you ever want to discuss these topics with me, just come to me. You don't have to wait until I initiate them. If you ever think we need to discuss this more, please just tell me, don't wait for me to figure it out for myself. So that puts the responsibility on your employee, not just you, the manager. So it's really a joint responsibility to have these conversations, but your employee can feel free to take ownership.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you have a sense of where you'd like to go in your career in the next few steps? By the way, it's okay if they don't, but I would encourage you to keep asking them to help make sure they're pointed in the right direction. What parts of your job right now do you like the most, and what do you like the least? What kinds of training or experiences will help you move in the direction you're interested in? If you don't know, how should we find out? Is there anyone inside or outside the company you think you could learn a lot from and want to spend more time with? Would you specifically like to commit to so that you can make sure that you're moving forward on your career growth? And how can I help you?”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You can tell them straight up that you think it's a good idea to do career coaching now and again. And here's a script that you can use to introduce this topic. I think it's a good idea to sit down regularly and talk about your career development. Let's do that a few times a year so I know what you want to do and I can help you achieve those goals. First of all, you just get a ton of points as a manager, just even bringing that up because most employees do not have the experience of having their managers come and proactively talk about their careers. Now again, all you have to do is ask them questions and then be supportive and help them problem solve to get where they're going. Here are some questions you can ask”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“These are great questions to start you off. Remember that you don't have to solve all of their problems. In fact, a really good role for you of this one-on-one is for you to coach them, to help them solve their own problems. Also, it's just get a handle on what's going on with your employees and also certainly if they have specific asks of you, this is a good moment for them to tell you so that you can help them in the way that they want help. You could also use your one-on-one for career coaching, and I absolutely encourage you to do this. So a few times a year, make sure your employee knows this in advance that you're going to do this career coaching. Remember that your job is to coach and support, not to do all the work for them.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then when you do your one-on-ones, ask your employee to prepare by thinking about the topics that they'd like to discuss. Now, they may not do this very well at first, but that's okay. They'll learn. If you stick with it, you'll both get the hang of this and you'll adapt your one-on-ones to be more satisfying. Here are some questions you can ask your employees so that you can have a deeper conversation about work in your one-on-one. What do you like best, and what do you dislike the most about your job? Do you see yourself going in your career, and how can I help you get there? Do you know where we're headed big picture as a company? And you have any questions about it? Do you know what your top priorities are? Are you having any problems working things out with any co-worker? Do you need my help? What suggestions do you have for me?”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Johnny, I wanted to give you a sense of how I view one-on-ones and also to get your take. I think of our one-on-ones as mostly your meeting. Whatever you want to bring up is definitely on point. Let's not just do status updates. If you have questions about what's going on the company, if you have a great idea you want to share, or if there's something you want my advice on, bring them up here. We can also talk about your career path. I'm sure I'll have things on my mind and let's check in every once in a while to make sure they're working for both of us, okay?”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“At the end of the conversation, ask if you could check in in about a month and then make sure you do that. So if you'll be consistent and be pleasant to deal with, you're much more likely to get the feedback that you need to get ahead Now let's go back to you and your role as a leader, and we can talk about one-on-ones. One-on-ones are a foundation of how you can build the right relationship with your employees and also it's a way for you to hear what's going on with them. So here's a script you can use to either set or reset expectations for your employees. If this is the first time you're doing one-on-ones, you could set the expectations. But if you've been doing them for a while a different way, then you can use this conversation and you can just adapt it to reset the expectations.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Would you mind if we spent a few minutes talking about what it would look like if I were showing up more as a leader? Are there behaviors you can point me to? Then you might find out that you may seem dismissive of your peers if they can't keep up, which is not good, or you might find out that you don't proactively coach more junior employees so you're not showing up as a leader. Now you may not agree with that, but at least now you know what's in your boss's mind's eye. You've got to listen to what she says, ask questions in a neutral tone of voice, and overall make it a positive experience for whoever's giving you this feedback. That way they'll give you more feedback, and then you'll have a better sense of how you're showing up and what you need to do to get that promotion.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your manager might say, You're doing great. Keep doing what you're doing. And then you can say, I appreciate that. That's really nice to hear. But I realize that I need more guidance to help me get where I'm going. Do you have any suggestions for me? Asking for suggestions can be easier for them to respond to than feedback. Then she might say, I don't see you being proactive, or you need to show up more as a leader. And that's annoying because what the heck does that mean? But don't say that. Say thank you because you want them to give you feedback regularly and you got to reward that behavior when you actually wrest something out of your bosses. So here is what you can say in response to that. Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Impact, and I want to progress in my career. So it's important to me to know if I'm on track on getting promoted. Now, I've seen a few of my peers get promotions lately, and I'd love to talk to you about my performance and what it'll take for me to get to the next step.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“From your manager to help you get promoted. But before you do this, do some prep work first. Look around your company. What kinds of people are getting promoted? What characteristics do they have? What sets them apart? So I would encourage you to do like an anthropological study so you begin to get a sense of what's valued around your company and then you can adapt your own behavior to what's valued. Now, once you've done that, you can definitely and you should definitely go and ask your manager for feedback. The reason you're not getting feedback is that people don't enjoy giving feedback. They don't know how to. They're squeamish. They also don't know how you're going to react. So you might have to insist on this and that way you'll get useful feedback from a manager. Here's a script you can use. Suzanne, I've been thinking about my career. As you know, I want to be able to have more”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, of course, after that, Camellia may want more of an explanation and she may protest. But you know that you've had a whole bunch of feedback conversations with her and that she couldn't be completely surprised. You also know that specifically you had the conversation before the firing conversation. So although this may still be difficult, you've gotten your words out. You've been clear on what's going to happen. And now it's just the details of sorting all that out. So I hope that was helpful. All the conversations leading up to having the firing conversation and then ultimately the firing conversation. Let's move away from that, shall we? And move on to some different topics. I'm actually now going to put you on the other side of the feedback conversation, how you can get more feedback. Maybe you're not getting promoted, but nobody's telling you why. It's actually hard to get feedback at work. So I'm going to give you a sense, a script for how you can get more feedback.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Camellia, when we talked about six weeks ago, I told you I needed you to get your arms around the issues with your team and work with them and your peers to get the launch back on track to meet our business goals. So far, you still don't have a realistic date. Your team is not clear on what's going on and neither are your peers. It's time to part ways. I know that's hard to hear, but that's my decision. Let me tell you what the transition plan and the severance plan.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Tell your HR person and help them help. Make sure you have a transition plan ready and you have to think about the things like severance and termination agreement already lined up. And then after you do this, you tell the person's peers, the person's direct reports, then the rest of the company. So remember to be compassionate and also clear. And here is the script to fire somebody.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You've tried to work with them to help them improve. You've told them in no uncertain terms what you need them to do and they haven't done it. And now it is time to have the conversation in which you fire them. So even though you've already discussed it with them, even though you've given them plenty of signals, they still may be surprised because they didn't really think you were going to fire them. We all have a high capacity to deceive ourselves when we want to. Make sure you use decisive language so there's no question. and that there's no sort of wiggling around it. And again, be humane. It sucks for you, but it's actually worse for them. So before you fire someone, think about your plan. Tell your board or whoever your boss is that you're going to fire this person and why. Hopefully you've already given them a heads up about the issue.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Need to see improvement within 30 days. Now this is definitely one you're going to want to roleplay. And remember to stay even keeled and be ready for a discussion after this. I can't give you a script for an unscripted dialogue that's going to take place after you land this one. So in your role plate, think through how your employee might respond and what you might say during the discussion that will follow when you prepare for what they say in response and practice getting your mouth around the words of the script, it will make you feel much more confident, and then you can stay present and listening and also continue to reiterate your intention clearly, which is that this is a serious problem and your employee has to fix it.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your second version related to leadership and culture. Matthew, we need to have a serious conversation. We've talked in the past about my concerns about your making unilateral decisions about areas that affect other areas of the business. Collaboration and transparency are super important values here, and if you keep making decisions in a vacuum, you aren't being collaborative or transparent. You're also not getting good ideas from others. You're surprising people, and you're not getting buy-in from the people that you need. You're also making people feel dismissed. It's not a sustainable way to work. I need you to know that if you can't fix this issue, we're going to have to part ways. I'm telling you this because I want you to know where I stand and I want you to take it seriously. I need you to fix this immediately by mending fences with your peers and employees and taking into account their input before key decisions. If there's anything you need for me to help you, let me know. I want to hear back from you by the end of the week about how you're approaching this.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Issue might be performance or it might be leadership or cultural qualities. I'm going to give you two scripts. I'll start with performance. We need to have a serious conversation. You and your team have consistently not met your goals or even come close and as a result we've had to move the new product launch twice at the last minute. I know things come up, but your job is to anticipate what those things are, manage your team to deal with them and work with your peers to coordinate all of it. And I don't see you doing that. What I need you to do is immediately debrief with your team and your peers, pull together a launch schedule that will meet our business goals, and then make that date. If you can't do that within the next two months, I'm sorry to tell you I'm going to have to find a new leader to take your role, and we're going to have to part ways. I'm telling you this because I want you to know where I stand on this, and I want you to take it seriously. If there's anything you need for me to help you improve, let me know. I want to hear back from you by the end of the week about how you're approaching this.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now let's assume that you've had a couple of these conversations and things have not improved. That is disappointing. But we have to get to the conversation before the firing conversation. You never want people to be surprised when they get fired. And you also want to tell yourself, I did everything I could to help this person make changes and I communicated to this person and the person should not be surprised. So that's why it's important just for you and your own sanity and also to give them a chance to make sure that you have the conversation before the fireman conversation. Again, I really encourage you to roleplay this. It's hard to land, but it's super important. Also, they're going to be upset. This is an upsetting conversation. So be humane and be compassionate, but also be clear.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I need you to take ownership of this issue and fix it. Harry have communicated to them the seriousness of the issue, the specific thing you want them to go and fix, and the timeline that you want to hear back from them. It's not just going to fall off the radar that you've actually agreed on a timeframe, they're going to come back and give you a plan. That's important to make forward motion. My suggestion to you is that you roleplay this. I know you don't want to role play it. Nobody wants to roleplay, but I really encourage you to do that because first of all, it's going to help you get your tone neutral. And that's going to possibly reduce defensiveness and set up actually a good dialogue after this conversation, which is important. And the second is that when you get a little nervous, it's hard to have your mouth around the words. And when you role play it, it forces you to say the words out loud.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Here's a script for you to do that Matthew, in the past month, you've made two major decisions that touch the product team and the marketing team without consulting them or even letting them know. You've missed the opportunity to get their feedback, which would be valuable, and their input, which is essential to the success of our project. And now I'm concerned that because they haven't been in the loop, they're not going to co-own the process with you, so it's going to be much harder for us to finish this project. We've talked about this before, and you told me that you'd make sure to get people's input before you made decisions. I need you to fix this one problem by going and talking to these folks right now, and then even more critically, I need you to operate differently from now on. You're not going to be successful, and we won't be successful as a business if you don't collaborate a lot more closely. I'd love to hear back from you by the end of the week about your plan to solve this once and for all. I'm here to help you if you need me, and I'm more than happy to talk through your plan.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Notice that the whole tone of this is positive. It's clear that you appreciate your employee. It's clear that you see what they're doing well, and it's clear the specific thing you're asking them to change or to fine-tune. And then there's even a bit of a follow-up plan with a date. That is perfect. And the hope is that they're going to take that and run with it and continue to improve. If they don't take it and run with it and continue to improve, you then want to have the next conversation, which is the difficult feedback conversation. This actually is constructive criticism. The issue here is that often you've seen the same problems over and over with your executive or employee. And they need to make changes and they haven't made these changes. That's when you really need to address them in a more specific and maybe intensive way.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Here's a script for a manager, someone a little more senior. You've done a great job managing your team. They love your whole group is getting more productive every month. I love the systems you implemented. Now that you've gotten your arms around your team, I'd like you to prioritize building relationships and coordinating with your peers. We need to be synced up at the leadership level. And I have the impression that not everybody knows what your team is doing. So can I ask you to make sure you prioritize getting to know your peers better and share your goals with them and getting them to share theirs with you? Let's touch base next month to see how it's going. What help do you need from me?”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now, very often it's great for you to give positive feedback and just leave it right there. Have them have the experience. Chris, I love how you jump into all your projects so enthusiastically and move so fast in getting your work done. And your cheerful attitude towards everything is so refreshing and it's even infectious. I'd love you to advance your game in this one area. When you complete a project, rather than just send it off, pause for a minute and think about how to make sure it's really finished. For example, sometimes when you send me a spreadsheet, there are some mistakes that I bet you would catch if you looked it over. Or when you send emails, I think they'd have more impact if you proofread them. Could I ask you to give your finished products a second look to try to catch errors before you send them off? Let's check in about this in a few weeks and see how it's going.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Jennifer, I know you're behind on that project. I just want to make sure you're okay. I see how hard you're working, and I know some issues came up that none of us anticipated. It's super frustrating, but I appreciate your hanging in there, and I know you'll solve the issues and get it behind you. It's really nice when you express confidence in someone's ability to solve problems, even when something's going wrong. Now, if you are like many leaders of managers, you know you need to give more positive feedback. I would suggest you literally put it on your calendar or make a spreadsheet to remind you to do this because it's important for you to integrate that into your day-to-day and week to week, and I promise it'll make a massive difference to your employees and it'll increase their productivity and loyalty.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know that your counterpart in marketing can sometimes be overly emotional. I really appreciate that you go to the extra mile to maintain a productive relationship with him. Chris, I'm so impressed with how you handled yourself in that board meeting. Your presentation was excellent, really well structured, and you de escalated a tense moment which could have derailed us. Now there's another spin on this, which is encouraging even when someone is struggling.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, having a script will help you and practice will help you too. So, first of all, what you need to do is find something to complement. It doesn't have to be the Nobel Prize of activities that they do to make you realize that you can complement them. Did they do a good job planning a meeting? Did they do a solid draft of a deck for you? Are they doing a great job getting up to speed on something? It can really be anything that you're really proactively noticing to give them positive feedback. So next is be specific. Now here are some examples. Here are some specific scripts that you can take to just give quick, positive feedback. Bill, that spreadsheet you gave me was so clear and well formatted. Well done.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The one I'm going to start with is positive feedback script. That may surprise you, but this is the script that nobody asks for, but almost every manager needs I'm starting with positive feedback because I think people underestimate how really important it is to give your people positive feedback on a regular basis. We always talk about feedback as if it's negative, but actually many managers have to learn the skill of making sure that they praise their people, they give them positive feedback on a regular basis. That helps motivate your employees. It helps them be more confident and take more risks. And ultimately, it builds up goodwill between you and your employee so that you can deliver a difficult message in the future if you need to because they already have the experience of being complimented by you and being appreciated by you so they know you're on their side. Now I think what gets in the way for managers is first of all they're not thinking about it and second of all it can actually be a little uncomfortable almost a little embarrassing for some people to give positive feedback especially if they didn't grow up with their own positive feedback from other people it's like the workplace version of I love you”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The last ones will be but my favorite topic networking. And I'll give you some easy ways for you to network, including a script you can use to reach out to someone you've been out of touch with for a long time. Now, when I ask people what's the most common script they wish they could have, the number one answer by far is how to fire someone, which I can totally understand since firing someone sucks, but you have to do it. Sometimes that's your job, sometimes as a manager. So I'm going to give you five feedback scripts here, ending with how to fire someone. And these are for founders. They're really for any leader or manager or for anybody who's responsible for hiring people, working with them to help them to get their jobs right, doing coaching and feedback with them, and then ultimately, again, if the time comes, firing them if they have to.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Actually, a very difficult conversation, and you need help for that. Next, I'll give you a script to help you get feedback in your job so you can get promoted. Then a few scripts about how to have great one-on-ones, including how to use your one-on-one to give career coaching to your employees, followed by how to tell someone you're bringing a new leader in to manage them.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hi everyone. Tim asked me to give you guys a few scripts, so I'm going to share with you some of the ones the leaders I coach find most useful. The founders and leaders I work with, they find scripts super helpful. When I walk them through how I would say something as we're talking, they scribble it down furiously and they ask me to repeat it. And it made me realize that people struggle with the actual words to say. So I began to develop scripts that people can use to handle delicate situations, difficult conversations, difficult situations. Now remember, all of these scripts are just guides. You're going to have to tailor them to your own situation, but they should give you a running start. I'm going to give you a selection of scripts here. I created this set just for Tim's listeners. They're not in my book or on my website. There are a few categories for you based on what my clients have found the most helpful. First, I'm going to share a set of five feedback scripts that lead up to firing someone since this is now”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Tim, two things. One is thank you for having me today. It's been really great to catch up with you and to talk to you in this conversation. I really appreciate it. And the second thing is just I want to say thank you for all the work you've done over the years for sharing certainly world-class practices and tactics and also for your recent, I think, really courageous work and revelations about your trauma from childhood and also about your exposing this new world of psychedelic science. I know it's been helpful to a lot of people and I just really want you to know what a difference it's made.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, what comes to mind is, okay, it's two-sided, two-sided billboard. Believe in yourself is the first side. Then act like it is on the other side.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. And it's actually a very helpful book. There are a few other resources out there that I have to think about. But mostly my best learning came from sitting down with a number of co-producers and just hearing about their experiences. And I think like everything learning from other people's mistakes is like the best way to learn about anything, certainly about the world of Broadway. One thing I just want to say is that originally people would send us a budget. So here's the capitalization of the show. Here's much money we're going to raise. Here's the budget and here's the break-even analysis. And then as you, you know, luckily, I am a recovering CPA. So I can kind of dig into those numbers and say, do your assumptions make sense here? Why is this so expensive? Or why isn't this expensive? When you see enough shows and you do pattern recognition, you say, well, you should be allocating more money for this. What's going on? It helps you ask better questions.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I think meeting people is the best way to learn. But there is a book I'm going to butcher the names. You're going to have to find it later. It's how to make a killing on Broadway Something like that”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it gets to you. Yeah, yeah, it gets to your point of, you know, this stuff has to be learned. Giving feedback has to be learned. Even having sort of uncomfortable conversations, most of us didn't grow up in a house where it was like we all learned to do this. And then even if we did, it just changes in the professional context. I appreciate what you just said and I appreciate your kind words.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Congratulations. Thank you, Tim. I do want to say, and I hate to be like this because I said I didn't want to be this kind of person, but I will say the first line of my book is leadership is an unnatural act.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I hope that the book inspires founders to do more self-reflection for sure. I hope it helps founders prevent avoidable mistakes. That's what I really am. And also, by the way, new leaders. There's a lot of material that's just kind of, if you're going from individual contributor to manager to leader, there's a lot of the same journey you go through. So I'm hoping that it helps people solve those problems before they become problems and give them language and tools and insights to help them on their journey, basically. I'd love to coach everybody. I hope this serves as like a beacon for some people.”
2021-10-19 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT