YouSaid · the spoken record

Arthur C. Brooks

lines on the record: 236
first: 2023-09-11
most recent: 2023-09-11
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Likewise, Tim, I've only met you today in person, but I feel like I've known you for a long time because I've been consuming your work like so many millions of other people and you've enriched my life a lot. Thank you for that.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The science of happiness and bringing it to others. You know, there's a lot of people who are broken in this world and who are sad and who are suffering. And if we had people who were warriors for greater happiness for themselves through others through real knowledge and a commitment to change, I'm truly convinced that this is the one thing that I can do that could have an impact on the world that needs to be a lot happier.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, this is really a teaching experience both for me and Oprah and just part of my life, which is dedicated to writing, speaking, and teaching about love and happiness, to bring people together in bonds of love using the science and ideas. That's really my mission statement for the rest of my life. And that really is a teaching mission, just like yours is a teaching mission. So there's a lot of stuff that I'm doing ancillary to books and columns, et cetera. I have classes like video classes and things that people can watch. And my goal in doing those things, all on my website, orthodox.com, but when people do those things, my goal is training them to be happiness teachers. This is really what it's all about because remember, it's understand, change your habits, share with others. And so to learn more about exactly how to do that, we're developing a lot of resources that make that possible. And I think a pretty effective way. And I would love people to do that for the single reason that I want a movement. I want to be part of a movement of people whose hobby is.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let's just say the book tour is taking on new dimensions. Now, but we read the book for Penguin Random House, and I'm really super happy with the way that it turned out, mostly because... My voice is interspersed with her beautiful voice. One of the most famous voices in America.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Look, no, we'll come to your house and with a dulcet tones of Oprah's voice will lull you to sleep. Now, I mean, we read it. You could raise a lot of money. Yeah, that's right. Sorry, Oprah. I kind of committed us to this thing, you know.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When I thought about that, I realized that that probably wasn't the perfect fit for my career. And I went on the market. And I have a better job now. I think that the job I have now is a better fit. And every single thing that happens that you put into your failure journal, you will realize that there's something generative that happens from this in terms of learning and in terms of gratitude. And you will turn that thing into something sooner or later when something really bad happens to you. You'll be like, oh, good, I get to put it in the failure journal. It'll really change your perspective on it because failure and disappointment and frustration and sacrifice and pain will take on their proper perspective, which is part of your full life.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To go back and say a good thing that happened because of that thing. And there's always entries, always, always, always. And so it's like I went into my performance review and I thought I was doing a really good job. My boss basically told me that I'm a B player at best. This happens constantly. That bums me out. And I just want to put it behind me. I want to go hang out with my friends and have a couple of beers and complain about my boss and move on. Right. No, no, no, no. Write it on your failure journal. One month from now, remember it and go back. You know what I learned from that is I thought I was going to be super bummed about that for a long time. And it bothered me for like a week. That's interesting. Now that's homeostasis. There's a lot of brain science in that. Six months later, you come back and you say,”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, no, no, no. On the contrary, and that's really what separates first course gratitude from PhD level stuff. And by the way, here's a practical way to do that, to be grateful for bad things. A very practical way to do it. I ask my students to make a failure journal. And so what that is, is every time a bad thing happens, something bad happens frequently when you're 28 years old, you know, somebody breaks your heart today and tomorrow you get to be on a test and the next day after that, you know, you don't get the interview for that job you hoped for. And it's just a constant string of disappointments and thrills. So every time something happens that really frustrates and disappoints you or you screw up or whatever, you take out your failure journal and you're right in your failure journal, what happened. And then you leave two lines open behind it and you put reminders on your phone ding, one month from it. You got to go back and six months from now. One month from now, you got to go back and say what you learned from that thing that you would forget otherwise. And six months from now, you're going to get together.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Catch your breath a little bit, right? Because what Mother Nature wants you to do is to look for the good feelings and to avoid the bad feelings because that's the evolutionary imperative to avoid the disgust and the anger and the sadness and the grief and the loneliness and to avoid those things, not to embrace those things to, you know, to say it's inevitable. Bring it on. But if you can actually do that to steal yourself, to steal, as they say in Isaiah, I steal my face like flint And that's how to do it. Look, I don't know what's going to happen today. But I do all know I'm alive right now. I'm not going to waste this day. And the way I don't waste this day is by being grateful for every single thing that happens, good and bad. Bring it on. Here we go.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, no, but it makes perfect sense. And there's actually a way that we can all get better at that because I know a lot of people are watching this like, yeah, yeah, how do I get better at that? Here's one way to do that that actually is a very practical way to do it. Start each day with a statement of fact and then an aspiration. The statement of fact is I don't know what's going to happen this day. I don't know. I learned this from a pediatric oncologist, by the way, somebody who has bad cancer diagnoses to kids. He says he tells the parents to every day start the day saying, I don't know what's going to happen in my future, but I do know I am alive this day and I am deeply grateful for everything that happens, for good and for bad. It takes Cojones, man. It's hard because you're like,”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah. So anyway, no, I respect the fact that you like to have fun and you like to feel good. I get that. But I don't sense fear from you.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Weird. Yeah, yeah. Of the Tsar. There is that. I remember reading about one of your, you know, a sexual experience in the four-hour body where he's like, to get more testosterone. And then I ate a single Brazil nut. And you're talking. Yeah, it was lots of Brazil.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is it possible you're not afraid to suffer more? Because you said, you know, pleasure, and as a defense, et cetera, et cetera. But I don't feel like I'm sitting with somebody who's afraid of suffering.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But understand this is what the best therapists do. They teach you about yourself. They help you to learn and grow from your pain, and they help you to treat yourself and serve others. That's what the great therapists do. The worst therapist is like, yeah, I'll help you take care of that. We'll make that problem go away. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I want to learn. I want to grow and I want to surf.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know it's phenomenal, though. It's so interesting. It's just beautiful writing. But in the end, he said. The sum and final balance, I have to conclude that I love my depression because it's part of who I am as a person and it's allowed me to learn what my life is all about. I don't wish it on anybody. I don't want it to come back. But it is who I am. And so therefore I have no choice but to love it. I'm paraphrasing. But it's his words are more beautiful than anything I could remember. But it's really an important thing for us to remember. And anybody who's watching you and who follows you and who admires you and gets a lot of sustenance from the knowledge that you bring to this podcast, what they have to realize is that they are beneficiaries of Tim Ferris' suffering. And if they want to lift up the world, they have to suffer too.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's like Winston Churchill's black dog for sure. The noonday demon in the end, it's an incredible book. It's a total page Turner for anybody who's actually had anything close to that.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's pain, it's evidence that I'm defective, that I'm broken, something's got to change. That's wrong. That's wrong thinking. Look, the Tim Ferris I'm talking to you right now had to suffer. I mean, these messages that you're giving are dramatically different than what you were writing 15 and 20 years ago. They're dramatically different. It doesn't mean it was wrong 15 and 20 years ago, but it was incomplete. It wasn't deep in the same way, and the depth actually comes from the, not just from the good, it also comes from the bad. This is, you know, Andrew Solomon, who wrote The Noonday Demon, have you read that book? No. It's the best book I've ever read about anxiety and depression. You know, Andrew Solomon is a phenomenal writer. All right.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is and you know, I think about it one of the biggest mistakes that I think my students make, by the way, right now, if I were to go back to the 1968 or 1969, Woodstock, you know, and the hippies, if it feels good, do it. I remember my dad heard that for the first time and he's like, that's the end of America. He was kind of right. Anyway, if we had a woodstock today, it might be if it feels bad, make it stop. If I'm suffering, treat it.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Suffering to find the answers to the questions of meaning that we talked about? You do. My son needs a boot camp. You and I need substantial problems with mood, to put it euphemistically. No, look. We need sadness, a Jung Freud's greatest student, Carl Jung. So much greater in so many ways. Said that you don't really understand happiness until you've experienced unhappiness because of the contrast. But more to the point, you've not been fully alive because unhappiness is what actually the suffering is what helps you understand what you're made of and what you could bear. And only then will you find the answers to the why am I alive and for what I'd be willing to die questions. You don't find the meaning questions, the answers at that week at the beach in Ibiza. You find it in the depths when somebody you loved eyes, when you're afraid of what your future holds, when you feel hopeless, that's when those moments become real and that suffering turns out to be an integral part in your journey to happiness. So the number one thing that Opar and I will be very disappointed about is that people don't actually become more fully alive through the transcendent passage of both happy.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I'm just saying, so what do I suspect? What would hurt you the most if people missed? So I think what would bother me the most Is the amount that Oprah and I emphasize the role of unhappiness in living a full life? See, one of the biggest mistakes that people make, as we talked about before, is that people say, I want to be happy, and then they talk about some source of unhappiness in their life that I think blocks their unhappiness. And that's the wrong way of thinking because you can get happier even if you're unhappy. Absolutely, 100% all day long because these are existing in different parts of your brain. Number one. But number two, happiness is not the goal and unhappiness is not the enemy. Getting happier is the goal. You know, Oprah coined this term in the book. She said, we've got to stop talking about happiness because that's actually not the goal. The goal is happierness. That's really what we're going for is happiness. And to get happierness, you need unhappiness in your life. Look, you need negative emotions to keep you alive. But you also need the deferral of gratification to get your satisfaction. And you need to understand the nature of the frustration that comes such that you can start to manage your wants. You need serious full-ons.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's nuts. It's nuts, man. You know, I told you my death. Fear is losing my mind. It's actually possible that I am, and that's just a hallucination.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The title now is How to Build the Life You Want The Art and Science of Getting Happier and it was called Fully Alive and it wasn't fitting and I didn't know and finally Oprah calls me and she says got the wrong title She's a genius We got the wrong title This is a how-to book. This is an owner's manual book This is really a how-to book on your own happiness This should be called How to Build a Life You Want and King the whole thing fell into place because that's what happens as you know in the course of writing a book you think you have it but you don't and then when the title actually completes the book and allows you to finish the book and make it all cohere and we finished it up and it was this amazing collaborative experience a joy actually was the most fun it was the most positive experience I've ever had writing a book because I got to write it with her and she's enriched my life”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. And she's the best case study in American success and working hard and believing in others and paying it forward possible. And then we went and we started working on our respective parts of the book and passing them back and forth. And I took a house in San Clementi in California for six weeks in the winter, largely to look at the Pacific Ocean and write the book. And she was writing her parts. And then we got to this impasse at one point, not between us, but because the title didn't fit.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And she says, let's write a book together and we'll present this book together. And so we did. And we got together at her home and we framed it up. We framed up the book over a three or four day period last year in her tea house in Montecito, California. It's like, you know, I was looking around going, you know, I'm just like the small town. College professor who fell off the turnip truck in front of Oprah's tea house. You never know. He's like, God bless America. You never know what's going to happen. And it was super fun. It was super interesting.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She's smart, she's nice, she's funny, she's awesome, she's actually what people think she is. She's truly an authentic person. And so we really got along and we have this synchronicity of mission, which is to lift people up and bring them together in bonds of happiness and love. But we have different platforms for doing it. I'm teaching this class on the science of happiness at Harvard University and writing in the Atlantic. She has been in mass media forever. And whenever she weighs in, she has millions and millions and millions of people around the world that trust her and want to hear what she has to say. And so her suggestion was, let's take that class that you teach at Harvard and that you're writing about it in the Atlantic. Let's present that to a big audience. You want a big audience? I said, yeah. Yes. Yes, yes, Oprah. Can I have a big audience, please?”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then when my book came out from Strength to Strength in February 2022, she got it literally in the first week. She read it, and that's when she called. And she said, would you come on my podcast? Her super soul, which is this book podcast, phenomenal. And we were like a house on fire from the very beginning It's funny because you know you've met a lot of famous people, and I've met some famous people. And they're usually not exactly like they appear in public, right? She's like she appears in public. I mean, she's calm.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So we got connected because she is a regular reader of my column The Atlantic and she was during the coronavirus epidemic when people were trying to use the time to learn new things, et cetera. And she was actually a serious reader of the column and she's a serious reader. She is a serious reader. When she has a book on her podcast, she reads the book. It's just amazing how exhaustive her knowledge is.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, His Holiness Dalai Element, Her Holiness Oprah Winfrey, right? Yes, exactly. Yeah, I mean, when Oprah Winfrey calls, it's like.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, this new book is the most bread and butter book I've ever written about the signs of happiness. It's two parts. Part one is how to manage your emotions so they don't manage you. Part two is once you've got that down, now you can actually build your life and not be distracted and frittering away your time with stupid things. Those are the two parts of the book. And it says deep dive as I've ever actually written publicly about neuroscience. It was actually vetted by my colleague at Harvard, Josh Green, who is one of the most distinguished neuroscientists in the world, just to make sure, because I'm a social scientist, so I got to be careful getting into the biology side of this thing. I know enough to be dangerous, to be sure, but I have to be very careful about that. So I realized, and by the way, this was, this project was instigated to do a bread and butter owner's manual on you and your happiness. That's what it is. It's an owner's manual on your happiness. It wasn't my idea. It was Oprah Winfrey's idea.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know. And have you ever said, I've never said to my wife one time, that's such a cute little dress. Is it new? I've never said that. All her friends say that. And she was like, A cute little dress, and everybody noticed it, but you didn't.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Other guys is the whole thing. And what that is the other guys are just a mirror. They're just a mirror. The other guys are saying the thing that you think. But it's profoundly unsatisfying, right? If you're actually in the heterosexual dating market to have other guys saying, how'd you get those apps? Who cares?”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Physical attractiveness ordinarily is something that you do because you want to become more lovable and you make that judgment on the basis of what you're seeing in the mirror and not the relationship that you're projecting to others in real life. It's really weird. You talk to dudes who are trying to get to 6% body fat and get super jacked in the whole thing. And they have this, they imagine that women are going to be just super attracted to them. And the only people who even say anything are dudes.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just looking in the mirror all day long, and your physical appearance is that on which you will be judged, is very emotionally warping. And he hated it. He hated it. He hated it. He was unhappy. He never ate what he wanted for 10 years. And the truth of the matter is, as we all know, you look great if your body fat is under 10%, but you feel crummy and you want everybody in the world to die. It can be really, really hard on you. And he said, after a while, you know, there's a reason that 35% of people who lose a lot of weight when they get to their goal, they keep going. And a quarter of them develop an eating disorder. The reason is because you can't stop when you're looking in the mirror all the time. You can't stop. You can't stop. You don't know how to stop. So he had the presence of mind. He's in adept. He's a spiritual adept. He got rid of all of his mirrors and showered in the dark for a year.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“All of them I work with a guy. He's fantastic. He actually is really, really helpful for me. I've recommended him to you because he does incredible bodywork, physical therapy is fantastic. And he was a fitness model. There's almost nothing you can do that's unhealthier, worse for your mental health than being a fitness model or fitness influencer. Why? Because”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's also true in marriages, by the way, Tim. The best marriages are completely honest, but the honesty is a gift to never a weapon.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And people will live up to those particular promises. Psychological safety is really important in that too, right? Because it's one thing to say, I want you to be completely honest with me and say, yeah, you're a jerk. It's like not that honest. Or don't express it in that particular way. You have to have enough psychological safety where the rules of the road are clear. That honesty is always wielded as a gift and never as a weapon.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, the Ganic Quay, which is, you know, is make sure that you don't lose track of your real friends and you have a commitment with your real friends to hold you to a standard of honesty in the friendship and with yourself. That's what true friendship really entails. The manual way is the YPO Forum way, where there's a bunch of guys that you know that are usually deal friends and you make a deal to make them into real friends. Make a deal, you know, it's an arrangement where part of the friendship is actually going to be to go deeper, to hold each other's secrets, to be honest with each other. And that can actually be incredibly effective because you've actually decided to do that.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And have kids, and it's going to be harder, but you'll have to put in a thing going to come in. Folks, let's work on this, shall we? Write in the comments your best.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wives and kids and everything, yeah, for sure. Family life tends to get in the way of that, but you have to do it's like anything else, you got to do the work”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's great. And then put real or deal after each one of those names based on the fact that, and for you it's all real, right? Because you have close friends, right?”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's two ways to do it there's the organic way and there's the manual way. The organic way is that you don't lose those true friends that you've had usually since you were a young adult. And a lot of people do. I mean, we move around a lot. We're really ambitious and our friends wind up being our deal friends. And our real friends, you know, people will say, I mean, I'll do an exercise where I'll say, tell me the 10 people that are closest to you, write them down real quick. I can do it easily. Yeah, yeah. I literally have it.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Men, especially successful men, tend to get lonelier and lonelier as they get older. Women tend to get less and less lonely, but men tend to get lonelier and lonelier. So about 60% of 60 year old men say they're best friend as their wife, about 30% of them. Unrequited companion at love at home for sure. But you know what that means is that a lot of women have very, very close friends that they've cultivated usually through family life and community life and guys, you know, it's like, hey man, it worked so hard over the years and hanging out with my friends is stealing from my family. I'm not going to go golfing for five hours on Saturday. When the kids are little, it'll be terrible at home. I'll get yelled at and yada, yada, yada, yada, and all kinds of excuses, and pretty soon they're lonely.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you are committed in a YPO forum to have your BS called out. So, if you're saying something they know is not true about you”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not attending? No. But he's somebody where we're committed to when the call comes in and it says, Frank, I take the call. Even if it's during work time, I take the call. But otherwise, you can't take every single call that comes in. There are certain colleagues, certain family members, and Frank.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When you think I'm being full of it, buddy I don't know. I know you're saying that thing, but let's drill down on that a little bit, shall we? Talked to him every week. And that's super important”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think you're being straightforward with that right now. See, this is I'm making, I'm doing a fake Atlanta accent because my best friends have a guy named Frank and he lives in Atlanta. And we are committed to telling each other the truth. And boy, does he ever give it to me, both barrels”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, you commit yourself to being uncomfortable for one thing. So there's a couple of different ways to do that. Number one is you seek outside counsel. You ask people who really know you well. You ask them to be committed to telling you the absolute truth, and then you ask them incredibly hard questions about yourself, right? And you should have friends that can do that for you. This is one of the ways that you can do it. Your friends really have to be able to tell you. Being a good friend usually means telling you a convenient lies. That's not the right criterion for your closest friends. Your real friends. Your real friends who should be like, buddy.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Table steaks, man. You want to really be in the game? Never lie to yourself. And we're doing it all the time. We're doing it all the time. We don't want to face up to the truth. We don't want to look really in the mirror and not so that we can think how great our hair looks or whatever, but so that we can actually see the good and the bad and to say I'm a true human being. That's a hard thing to do when people lie to themselves constantly. And Aristotle talked about that. And Aquinas and the Buddha and one of the things that they all have in common is that they have this impeccable idea of self-honesty, which is that's taking a draft of the purest liquor of life. Like, yeah, I can drink that. I'm going to drink that. Really? You tough enough to drink that? And once you start doing that, I mean, it's just, it's hard. It's really hard, but it's life-changing.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But when there's a direct question. There's a direct answer Okay, that's fine, but that's you saying Spanish, that's pre mara cursur. T”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The romance where you feel truly chosen for each other has to be based on honesty. It has to be. And a lot of people are like, yeah, yeah, good luck with that. I mean, right? And there are lots of things that doesn't mean you have to say, by the way, sweetheart, your butt looks fat in that. I was just going to ask. Yeah, no, no. It doesn't mean you have to volunteer every single thing that you're thinking because you're not insane.”
2023-09-11 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #692: Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy, Reverse Bucket Lists, The Four False Idols, Muscular Philosophies, Practical Inoculation Against the Darkness, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT