YouSaid · the spoken record

Chanel Miller

lines on the record: 38
first: 2019-10-02
most recent: 2019-10-02
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“And finally, to girls everywhere, I'm with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought every day for you, so never stop fighting, I believe you. I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can't be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing, that you are important unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably every minute of every day. You are powerful and nobody can take that away from you, to girls everywhere I am with you.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Felt like I was going to be okay, and I still, it's not like a light turned and I healed in an instant. I understood there was a lot ahead. I would still need to understand and work through. But I also knew that I would never be alone again. They made that extremely clear. And as long as I know that, I feel like I can take on anything.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think there needs to be more issue on consent specifically in just the basicness of that, even if you're in this gray area. But just saying consent is, is this person okay with what's about to happen? If you're not sure, and if they're not sure, then the answer is always no.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, when you say you need to change your behavior You're basically saying, don't let yourself be the drunkest one. Let it happen to somebody else. You're saying, don't let it be you, just pass it on to someone else. So we're never going to reduce the number of rapes. That means all the rapes stay exactly the same. We just go through our life hoping, I hope that's not me. Is still going to happen to everyone else. So I'm not interested anymore in critiquing these little individual things. These are not isolated Incidents We're not going anywhere as long as we do that. So I'm done with that way of thinking.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“In the perfect victim does not exist, we're all thinking, oh, if I had just had been less drunk or maybe if I was a virgin instead, it doesn't matter. The perfect victim does not exist, and we're trying to achieve some unachievable, unattainable thing.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I had no plans. I felt like I had failed. And I also, like the first time I ever testified, I didn't let my parents in the room. I didn't let a single friend in. I was very determined I'm going to protect all of them and do it by myself. I'm going to do this alone. And finally, by the sentencing, I let in some friends and family and thought, this is my chance to show them who I really am and redeem myself. And as soon as it happened, I thought this is why you do things alone. This is why you should have never let anyone in. You made that mistake.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And so, did you have a At least one year. One year is the maximum for county jail. It never even crossed my mind that it would be less than less than that. We had spent eighteen months just getting to that point.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think it should have been proportional to the harm. I also know that there are young men of color serving far longer sentences for nonviolent crimes for having a smidgen.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He has said the words, I'm sorry, but just because you use the dictionary terminology doesn't mean there's heart behind it. It was so amazing to me that you can go through this entire process in not once has he challenged to think about the other person's perspective. He's not forced to do any self-examination introspection. He's allowed to remain in that protected space”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It was being in this ratty bathroom in the little square courthouse with two ply toilet paper with my hair everywhere, my makeup completely smudged off, me feeling internally ravaged and feeling completely alone. And it was almost liberating because I thought, wow, it can't get any worse than this. But when I look around, I'm still here, you know, I've still decided to show up. And, you know, after that little bathroom break in the courthouse, I walked right back into the courtroom and thought, well, shoot, I'm doing it.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah, and then I was already working with police, and then I was being cared for, and evidence was collected. I understood I was in this teeny tiny sliver of percentage from the very beginning, that somehow that was a privilege.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah. I mean, even in the hospital, I remember asking the detective, you know, how often do you get these cases? And he said, well, there's very few that get reported and even fewer that even make it to us. So you are in the smallest percentage”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Through how she's going to be able to get through this process and who's going to be sitting with her as she goes through it.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“When do you have two sober, unbiased witnesses this never happens and when you think about the court process and how many obstacles there are, I was assaulted on Stanford campus. They don't do forensic exams at Stanford Hospital. I was taken 40 minutes south to San Jose. So if you are assaulted at Stanford, how do you get there? Let's talk about transportation first. You're not allowed to shower or change or comb your hair. So what do you do? Call an Uber, have an Uber driver take you to go get your rape kit done? Do you text the only friend you know who has a car and disclose that information? How do you even get there? Once you get there, you have to go through the exam. How do you get home? Once the rape kit is there, it takes so long for it to get processed. There are so many factors along the way that people don't take the time to think through. So when they say, oh, why didn't you report? I say, well, why don't you sit me down and walk me through?”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right, I was just the object that it happened to. I was the thing that was found as a result of his actions, but I was never... Given time to express myself, there's never a time in court where they say, let us hear what happened from your point of view. Even the statement, you have to get the verdict. You have to have a guilty verdict in order to be able to make a statement.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He was a full person. He had skill sets. His high school French teacher testified at the trial his ex girlfriend, his high school swimming coach. He was surrounded by these characters and people”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Absolutely not. I didn't even understand there was anything to be discussed. I didn't think Case would go anywhere, but a year and a half later, you know, people on his side were submitting letters to the judge testifying to his character.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I also, I mean, people, I thought if anyone ever found out about this at the very beginning They would just think it was disgusting. I was irresponsible. But when the statement came out, parents were sending me photos of their kids saying, this is the face of the person who you're making the world better for. I hope my daughter grows up to be like you, courageous, loving, a good...”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right. But shame needs a contained space in order to grow. And since I wasn't telling anyone, it was just festering inside me. Monitored. But as soon as I released the statement, then it was able to breathe. And as soon as you open it up and let it out a little, it loses so much.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think in the beginning the shame was able to, well, first of all, initially I didn't feel shame. It seemed very clear to me that if someone attacks you and runs away, that's his problem? And the shame was learned over time.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Crying on the couch When I saw that happening to her, I thought I understood what they're doing. They're making you fixate on that self-doubt and growing it inside you until you can no longer function. It was happening to her. And I felt it happening to me. And as soon as I saw that, I said, this is where I draw the line. There are so many brilliant young women who have their whole futures ahead of them. And then this comes in externally and makes you shrink and sends you into the corner and says, you go think about all the things you did wrong, why you don't deserve to carry forward. That's ridiculous”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I came home from trial one day. My sister had just testified. She's sitting on the couch completely despondent and vacant. I'd never seen her like that with tears just leaking out of her eyes. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and she, in her mind, was made to believe that she had blown the whole case, that something in her testimony had messed it up for everyone, that's what the defense had made her believe he had picked her apart and left her sitting there.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Feelings to protect myself, I'd say stay open. When I was in the court process, I would think, well, I'm at least learning how it is to be inside this windowless courtroom, which many victims don't even get to see. My duty to stay here and report on it and feel it so I can come out the other side.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I definitely Having sometimes when you're really isolated, you think I'm just gonna Slip out the back door. World's gonna keep spinning I can't be here right now. And then I thought, no, that's not the case, and I would always keep coming back to the thought like this can't be it. This can't be the ending or where the story ends, how impossible. Because up until then, there are so many things I enjoy doing. I enjoyed drawing and running. And I knew that self was there and I would look around and think, what happened to that? She was always there. I just really couldn't figure out how to get back to her. And I always told myself, even if you have no idea what your future looks like, something is there. And my mom always tells me, stay open, stay learning, and never let yourself go. And so even when it was really difficult and I wanted to block a”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And now I have. I said sitting here, I can feel myself from my head to my toe and I feel the sun on my cheek and I feel how comfortable these chairs are and I feel my feet in the grass. I feel like I'm here finally and it took me a really long time to even want to feel. Like I was inside myself.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, yeah, I remember that moment and, you know, there's no water hot enough for that moment the way you want to scorch yourself until you clean yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would not be sitting beneath an oak tree with you. I have no idea. How that would have panned out, but knowing myself and how independent and self-sufficient, I had tried to be at that time. I would have gone home, taken a shower, and tried to forget it. And it would have eaten me from the inside out until I was hollow and would have tried to find help in some way, but I would never have had answers.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I did Not only save me, they checked to see if I was breathing first, first the priority is Ishiok, then one of them went after him, did a leg sweep, took him down, and not only did they tackle him, they said, what the F are you doing? Do you think this is okay? And they sat on him, the two of them pinning down his limbs in the dirt and basically said, we're not moving until we know she's okay. We're not going anywhere until we see her being cared for.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, I had only been told that a guy had been acting hinky around me just around, I thought, oh, there must have been an odd guy at the party who'd been setting off red flags. I knew that he had been chased and tackled. I had no idea there was any direct relation to me or that he had made any contact with my body. I didn't know exactly how I had been found. So I went on. I tried to carry on with my life, go about my day. And I was at work and I opened up the news and read about the way I was found, how one nipple is out and I'm half naked and I understood why my hair that morning had been full of That I had had to rake out Slowly, and I immediately said that's not me. I refused to accept that reality. That had no connection to my current reality. And if I had a choice, I would have just said, I don't want it. No, thank you.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And their kindness allowed me to relax, and I knew there was apology in what they were doing, in the gentleness with which they touched me. I'm sorry, this is happening. They didn't have to say it. But they cared for me deeply, and I also felt extremely safe in those few hours, even those extremely invasive and painful. I felt like if anyone at that time were to come after me, they would just put up a wall or fight for me right then. And if you can create that space for survivor immediately after it happens, you will save her in that moment. That time period is so critical she needs to be able to feel that and also know that she deserves right then to be protected for someone to sit with you and say, I'm not going to let anything happen to you now and you are safe. You have to know that afterwards.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, I had dried blood on the back of my hands. I was in a gurney and there was a dean of students and a police officer and they were very grave and somber. And I thought these men are really serious. I felt really disoriented, but my last memory was with my sister. I didn't know anyone at the party. I hadn't been talking to anyone. when they said you'd been sexually assaulted, I was like, all right, let's tone it down and let me get out of here.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would say that no matter your blood alcohol level, there is no point in which you say, okay, now you forfeit bodily autonomy. Now you've had this much to drink, anyone gets to do whatever they want to. That limit does not exist. If you drink too much, you deserve to have a really, really bad hangover. That's on you. And I'm happy to accept that. But at no point is it okay for someone to stick their body parts into you because you've had too much to drink. I will never be okay.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I was standing with my sister and a few other friends. There's some guys there and we were in this circle of light on the patio, but there were people all around.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I felt like I lost all my power when I didn't have memory and in court the defense always reminded me Chanel has no memory, Chanel has no memory.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah, I digested it, it calcified, it cemented inside me for a really long time. And that was also my most vulnerable time. I was extremely porous. I was really hungry to hear any opinion on this case or talk to anyone. And at the time, online was all I had.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To free from that shame that was never ours to carry in the first place and to say by the end, I'm going to put this down now. It's your turn to carry it. It's not mine.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“In this statement came out, I saw some reporters tweeting If anyone has information on her, let me know and they all said leave her alone, give her time to heal. They basically built this fortress and put me away inside it and they said we want nothing from you.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, today is the first day as my full self, and it feels really amazing. Like for so long I felt like I was living a shrunken version of myself. Or maybe there's like a little two-inch person in my chest operating this forelimbed vessel that I called my body, but I felt extremely hollow and fragile. And now it feels like I've finally grown into my limbs and I'm sitting here fully and it feels amazing and I think it's what Any victim wants is just to be fully back inside themselves.”
2019-10-02 · Oprah's Super Soul · Chanel Miller: Know My Name · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source