YouSaid · the spoken record

Dan Murray-Serter

lines on the record: 154
first: 2020-10-26
most recent: 2020-10-26
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Because when you think about it, that is all you're doing in an F1 car Is in my opinion the most focused you can be is driving Formula One. I don't think there is any other, I think anything tops that. So I would love to know how you achieve that kind of level of flow and focus, like week in, week out, nothing would be more interesting.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ever lived. That's what he will end up as because he just beat Schumacher's record. And he seems like quite a nice bloke. Just in general, I just like when I see interviews of him, I just like, what a relatable guy this is. You know, he doesn't seem like a knob superstar at all. So I would just love to, the reason for him is I just love to talk to him about mindset and focus.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then I'd actually say my fourth would be Lewis Hamilton. Think what he's achieved even before literally breaking a record like a couple of weeks ago is so awesome. And I love, I'm so proud of the fact that he's British. I'm so proud of the fact, like obviously even though I'm a white guy, I'm so proud of the fact of what he's doing using his platform to take a stance, actually being political with his message when he knows he has such a big platform, which is a thing that a lot of people choose not to do and choose to back out of. So he's a man that stands for morals and values. Secondly, he's vegan. So, you know, I think it's interesting that he's chose, he's not on such a high performance, no fail-like attitude, but is as a plant-based person clearly environmentally conscious, even if he's in F1, which is obviously debatable. But he's got these like clearly deep-rooted values about how he wants the world to be. And he is manifesting and living them in being basically the greatest racing driver that's ever.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, just in every way, right? It's hard to pick a thing, but let's just say then because of personal growth, media brand, understanding wealth and leveraging your wealth for good and storytelling. I mean, I could just go on, like, you know, her list is just ridiculous. 100%, Oprah. And I don't know. I feel like once the fourth seat is literally sitting where he would be in the fourth seat.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah, you're right, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally correct. Yeah, he's got a bunch of interesting anxieties. Yes, I could ask him about that.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Know this is pathetic, and I'm sorry, but you know, Dennis Birdkamp is my all-time hero. I'm a guna. And, you know, the man was a magician and so classy and such authentic and great leader in so many ways and iconic.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, true. I was just getting into the serious mode, like thinking about this. I think to be honest, I'd want like an ancient philosopher. I'd love to just be so cool. Marcus Aurelius, I would say, one, big fan of meditations, you know, Stoic philosophy. I read meditations after my first business failed. Someone bought it for me. And I read it again every year. It takes like an hour to read. And it's just such a great reminder of, you know, yes, the world is tough and yes, the world is shit, but everything is what you make of it. And really, the world you're living in is all exists inside your own mind. And once you understand that, you can control a lot of how you feel. So Marcus Aurelius would be one. And I would say the second.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you described, that's why I believe in reincarnation because I see it everywhere around me. So the reality is I'm not in the slightest bit scared of death. And I think that the biggest blessing that I got from doing ayahuasca was no fear of death because that's a potent, powerful feeling. Not a feeling, like knowledge, insight, right? That's categorically so quick for me to answer that question and know. It helped me deal with death of my father when my mum got cancer. It helped me come to terms with what might happen to not have her around as well. This is life. People die. So you have to approach it, right? You can't pretend that isn't going to happen. It's the only thing that's guaranteed. So having a philosophical understanding of what that means to you and then how that impacts your life or maybe holds you back is a terrible thing. So it's usually a fear of death that essentially limits our life.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Great question because I don't believe in fear of death. Fear of death is literally illogical because fear of death is what actually makes you fear of life. So if you're scared of dying, then you approach your life in a very different way. And actually the greatest fear that we should have is not living your life in a true way. So no, I'm not at all scared of dying. It's also really worth saying that ever since doing ayahuasca, like I 100% convincingly believe in things like reincarnation, soul, spirits, other planes, all of the woo-woo crap that just sounds completely bizarre for me to think that I would ever say those words.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Being outwardly successful or building a company or having a high flying career, you know, they don't tick that many boxes in terms of contribution. A lot of contribution comes back to what you do for society, for what you do for your family, for what you do for people that you care about. That stuff is a much broader question. It's like a cup that's never full. Right, so it's nice because it's got different levels and you kind of know deep down if you feel like you're living your purpose and contributing to the level that would make you proud. And you also know when you're not, which is great because again, it's not bad that you're not. It's just like, well, I could actually improve some stuff by giving it some focus.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not just a gradient, but a gradient that different things impact. Yeah. So, you know, I mentioned contribution. Like, you know, there's many ways to contribute.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's like straight to the point, and it's like there's nothing really behind the question. And it's undefined as well. Undefined, and also it really depends on what you're asking me that day. I will be like, no, today I'm not happy. If you ask me if I'm contributing to society and does that fulfill me and make me feel like I'm living my purpose, it won't matter what I feel like today.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and is it binary? But, like, why does that matter to you? And why does that matter to me? Because I think a much better question is, am I contributing? Am I fulfilled and am I contributing? Because if I'm doing those things, I'll be happy. And I know that to be true. Whereas for me asking that happy is a bit like, you know, it's too binary.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, because the question that I asked back to this person was I am happy, but why is happiness so important? Why is that the question you want to ask me? Does it matter that I am happy?”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was thinking about this question the other day. Someone asked me two answers to that. One, yes, I am happy. The blunt answer is yes, I'm happy because I'm fulfilled. Good question, isn't it? Yeah, but the question that...”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and like how many of you know comedy greats are coming from? Yeah, not just suffering, but also coming from huge places of insecurities as well. And that's their platform to bring it on. So I think those things all really match up. But by 100%, I think, you know, Finding someone who makes you laugh and gets your quirks so, so, so important because humans are weird. I think it's lovely if you can be your fullest, weirdest self in front of other people”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Year after mine, or whatever. So we, as our second date or something, we decided to go out on Father's Day together without our fathers and everyone else just had their dads around. We went to the Boxston Hotel and they came over and they're like, would you like the Father's Day menu? We're like, oh no, our dads are dead, thanks. And just literally found it the funniest thing that only us two would find so funny, right? Because it's just so uncomfortable for everyone else. But to ask that kind of like dark humor, like ways to connect and like weirdness that other people.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My other thing is sense of humor So, you know, one of our company values is have a sense of humility and humility. We jam sort of two in the same one, but I believe so strongly in that, which is work can be very serious, life can be very serious, but finding moments to connect and laugh. I mean, so good for your brain, but just so good for your soul. You know, spending every day with my wife in lockdown, right? You know, just us two, et cetera, et cetera. Like, thank God we make each other laugh. You know, like we both have a very similar, very dark sense of humor. One of our things is actually on our first date, I brought up my dead dad and how actually one of my favorite things to do in social situations is to bring up my dead dad to make other people feel awkward, just like, because it's like kind of funny. Anyway, she was like, oh my God, I do that about my dad. And it turns out that her dad had died.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Laptop down, we're eating dinner, we're chilling out. And it's like a rule. And, you know, I have to have a very good reason to break that rule. And it's made me a happier, healthier person. But, you know, without that guardrail, I would just carry on working.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Usually choose to do. And how much more productive you are as a person as well when you've got space and time and you've had thoughts as a reason why short thoughts come to us in the shower or on walks, right? It's because you're literally, scientifically speaking, your default mode network, your DMN in your brain is being activated by that moment of rest. So, you know, it is neuroscientifically true. There's loads of studies on it, but it's hard in the moment when you're people like us to take the rest. And so having like, you know, a partner that's there that forces it on you as a culture, like, you know, almost every single evening now, I don't do any work, which is so different to me. But last night we watched the mask together, right? Like we will watch something like, you know, trashy fun, whatever, but it's like not.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, chill out. And that's good for me as well, right? That is growth. Being pushed back and being like rest, stop here. You know, she's the one who's like, you're doing too much. You've got to stop, like, read this book. I read an amazing book called Rest by Alex Song Yam Ping, I think his name is. Brilliant book, much better than Why We Sleep and all the other ones that you would read about this stuff. Really, really helped me grow by realizing recharging is such a humongous part.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Everyone doesn't mean it will go and it doesn't mean you won't be attracted to your wife or your husband or anything like that, but it wanes. And you as a human being become less sexual the older you get, right? That's just biology. So I've learned not to make that one of the most important things on the basis of, or I wouldn't say it's the most important thing, purely on the basis of I'm more likely to fall out of love with a person that I'm with if one like you just said they don't intellectually challenge me. Second one, again, like you said, like they have to help me grow in some respect or certainly be with me on the journey because in a lot of relationships, including my marriage, like I am the one forcing a lot of the growth. But I'm like that and I can be quite irritating to be around because like I just always want more growth more this more that book this podcast and some people just want”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I have to say sexual attraction is such an important thing to me in general, but what I've learned is, and you learn this a lot the more you read about relationships, that is actually something that wanes.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I deeply care about if it's successful, and everything that I put into my life is about making these things successful to the best of my ability, and what I've learned is doing those things from a sense of vision And clarity and communication”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I probably wouldn't tell her nice surprise. But you know what I mean? There's permission in our relationship to address the difficult things. That's why in some respects, you know, I treat my marriage like I treat my business, which is, you know, something that”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Making a short term tough decision. But that comes back to exactly what I was saying, right? Yeah, that comes back to the relation. No, it comes back to setting a vision for your relationship. And having a plan and talking about in advance, right? You know, if you're really smart, you'll talk in advance. What happens if one of us cheats? What happens in this scenario, right? What would happen if we fell out of love? You know, there's no point like, you know, planning the perfect life if you don't crisis plan the things that happen to all human beings. If you've got a great relationship with your partner, I think it's so valuable to treat it like you would your business, which is scenario planning, spending some time talking about what would we do in this kind of crisis and how would we behave. Because by doing that with my wife, like I, you know, we've got permission to bring up that horrible conversation, right? Like in theory, that would never happen to me because if I wanted to cheat on her, I'd have the conversation with her. And I've got permission to have that conversation because we've talked about it.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why, because I'm like, I'm so kind, loving, you know, full of good energy. But so is that guy. In that example, so was that guy. So is every review of what that guy was like from all of his friends and everything else. So how can that happen to a person?”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, she feels the same way, whereas I'm just like, you know. It just plays on my mind. Really? It plays on my mind to the idea of like, well, that could happen to me then.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, the most recent one, but there's all of them. At the end of the day, why someone goes from lovely and humane and kind and wonderful and all the things I like to believe about people in the world to that terrifies me.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But that husband loved that wife so much. Why did he end up killing those two daughters and his wife? Oh, you're talking about.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right now So she's exactly the same. We actually, I mean, I find it so interesting. You know, she will make me watch these things on Netflix because she's like, but it's so interesting, right? But actually, they really, they actually quite damaged my mental health because, you know, you see things like, you know,”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so is she so obsessed? It didn't work out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she loved. She makes me watch true crime stuff on Netflix and it freaks me out. I hope this really...”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I think we're both really lucky. We both like our own company and we both like each other's company. So, you know, you can kind of be happy the way. If you're lucky enough to learn what you like and how to be with yourself, which takes quite a lot of learning, a lot of us are very dependent on other people. And if I was still completely dependent on my wife's attention and my wife, like in general, then I might be like that. But I've come to learn, you know, how to listen to myself, how to make time for myself, how to spend time enjoying being on my own as well. And I think that's a really important skill to learn because otherwise I think the answer would be true. And I think, you know, she's got the same, which is, you know, I'll listen to podcasts about performance and habits and stuff. And she'll listen to case file on repeat. Oh my.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She's super busy as well. Yeah, exactly. And we have, you know, she's got scale up. She's running a big company. Like, she only reports to the CEO. So she's got a lot of responsibility.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If I don't, I actually start to feel achy. I start judging myself. You think about these things, like actually they create time. They don't take away in my experience.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Learn, so therefore my personal growth as a human being is slowing down because I really believe that, you know, the way that I can build a better life for myself is funneling wisdom into myself, choosing what I read and choosing who I listen to and choosing what I believe to an extent, right? I love reading counterviews to stuff. Like I'm a lefty. I love, I follow loads of conservatives and right-wing Republicans because it's healthy for me. But I'm choosing to funnel stuff into my life. So again, by not doing that, I could be more aimless and more free and I wouldn't necessarily be following the path to making better decisions as a human being which also speeds things up. If I don't call my mum every day, she will call me up and ask me why I don't love her, which will make me feel like shit. For three days. So I actually find that this stuff in my, you know, again, not exercising, you know, you don't have to ritualize half an hour, five days a week like I have in my diary, right?”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the reason is because if you think about the opposite of this, right? So if you don't do some of this stuff, if you don't, I mean, there's so many examples that are like filling my head right now. So if I don't ask my wife how her day is regulated, if I don't exercise regularly, if I don't, you know, meditate every day, this is me personally, right? Okay, what are the outcomes of that? My wife is not going to feel listened to. We might end up in an argument. How much time does the argument take up? How much mental energy after the argument's over is going to distract me from all the other things I could do that day, right? The things I wish I hadn't said, like all of the things, right? Call that day a write off, maybe a couple of days, right? That takes up loads of time. If I don't meditate every single day, I have a very loud mind. I'm much lower at making decisions in general, right? So it is actually taking up more time to not build that habit in for myself. If I don't go for my daily walk, personally, A, I'm not making time to read, listen, and learn.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is a great question. In my experience so far, this particular bit of rigidness has created more space, not less space for me.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Personal space because really important to have space away from your partner. These literally become habit trackers that if you think about it really methodically, did we exercise for 30 minutes a day? These things, if you do them, you know the compound gains of the results you get in a marriage. If we're literally doing these things together, if I'm asking how her day is and I'm listening, if I'm spending time, like learning something new to teach her because I want to and she'll reciprocate the same, it will literally create these moments where we're not in our work and we're not doing other things. We're doing this with each other. And they don't have to take very long, but they are things that we've taken personal responsibility for to achieve.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Happy and fulfilling marriage. What are the key results that get us there? Well, we broke them down into mind, body and soul, right? And from there, you get to cascade down these key results, right? So they start to say a little bit like, okay, so mind. For me, meditation is really important. For her, you know, she doesn't really want to do it. But like from a compromise point of view, because she knows that I believe in it and stuff, she'll do it with me. Similarly, you know, from a mind point of view, she wants to be heard, right? How about, you know, we will ask each other how our days are. But systematically, as a habit, right? We'll build it as a habit. Another one was, you know, we'll teach you each other something new every day. So we're always growing. These kinds of things literally became a habit tracker list that we fill in in our journal every single night. Did I teach Melissa something new today? Did I ask her how her day was? Did we have sex? Were we intimate, right? Were we cuddling and, you know, spending time? Did I have...”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Her and obviously, like, these are things you do. And I was like, okay, let's take a break from right now, the things that are annoying us about each other. Let's flip the script. In 50 years, what are the things that we're going to be saying, doing, and believing about why we love each other? What does that look like? So like literally, let's imagine in the future how we are and work back from there. So objective, right, a long, happy and fulfilling marriage. So, you know, you might be familiar with OKRs, so objectives and key results. We implement them at heights as a startup, but also Melissa, she's the director of operations for Europe, Middle East, and Africa for vice. And she put OKRs into Vice. So we're both fan of the system, right? And the system is literally, this is the objective you're trying to get to. These are some measurable key results that would have to happen for us to achieve the objective. So we decided to try and apply this framework to our marriage, right? What is the objective along sustainable...”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The most uncomfortable conversations are the ones you need to have. So I think a really smart way, and I would say this because, you know, I'm doing it, but I think a smart way to approach a relationship is like you approach your business. So you set out a vision for your relationship and you say, this is what we want to be and where we want to be in 50 years. What does that look like? You know, recently I did this with my wife. We were in Portugal. We were with some friends. I was holding in Portugal for a month during lockdown. We were staying in like a villa with some friends. And like we'd kind of been okay in lockdown, but like now she was around other people. She's being a cerbic, snappy, like kind of bitchy. We were just getting on each other's nerves. And I went for like a long walk on the coast with her. And I was just like, where's this coming from? Like five wise, right? Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? But why are you doing that, right? We kind of got to the crux of the issue. You know, these are the things that I'm annoying about and what I do that irritate.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's a very different question because right now, no, FutureMe maybe. Logically, logically, if I took a motion out of it, absolutely. Because if I didn't want to at that point sleep with my wife, it would not be fair to deprive her of sex because of how I was feeling. And so I think having a maturity towards your relationships and to all relationships is so important. A lot of, you know what really upsets me like so many people get divorced. One of the most common reasons people get divorced is because they cheat. And you can avoid that by having a conversation.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And frankly, even though it's not what I do with my wife currently, we've had conversations about, you know, in five years or in 10 years, right, if we weren't sleeping together because we weren't finding ourselves like, you know, sexually attractive or whatever at that point, would we consider having the conversation, like opening up our relationship and stuff?”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, let me tell you, I told myself the narrative that being in a relationship, I don't have time to be in a relationship, right? That's my narrative. Being married and all of these things will close opportunities down to me and my life will be worse for it. And that's fine. Those are stories. And like everything, you know, we convince ourselves of all sorts of stories. And I do believe in finding not just the one, but ones. I really don't believe that there's one person for you in the world. I believe there's many. And I think having a spiritual connection with others. And, you know, for some people, like a sexual connection with multiple partners, I think that this stuff is totally acceptable. A, B, completely biological scientifically more normal for us than monogamy, which is essentially because of Christianity in the world.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. And, you know, and I think that was mutual for whatever reason for a year. And actually, after a year, you know, we had that awkward conversation. I almost like where she actually, you know, said, like, what are we going to do? Like, this is getting a bit silly now. You know, I'm getting on. I'm like 75 now. I need to get married. And so I said, you know, I almost said no. There and then. And I said, let me sleep on it. And I was about to say no, but then all my friends were basically like, you know, she's literally wicked. Like, why on earth would you do that to yourself? Like, what have you got to lose? And from that point of saying yes and being in a relationship with her, I proposed to her the like six months later and we got married a year later. So it was actually a really short relationship.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, because loads of reasons. One is I'd come out of a horrible relationship the last time where I wasn't treated particularly nicely and I just didn't make me want to get married for sure. And I told my mum and her that I wouldn't get married, incidentally. So I was like, I don't believe in marriage and I don't really believe in monogamy. And those are my beliefs. I told you about this book. Sex at dawn. Highly recommend you read it. So I'd been telling myself the story that this wasn't going to happen for me.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Openly communicating that we'll sleep with other people, but they were all like more like one nightstands. Whereas we were coming back to each other, which was interesting because she's just like hilarious, really good fun, really funny. And so I enjoy hanging out with her, but I was very clear, like, you're not my girlfriend. And she was like, yeah, great, I'm not your boyfriend. No problem. We did that for a whole year.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, she found it hilarious anyway. She did come join me at Drinks, and the rest is history. And actually, our relationship's been super interesting because we spent the first year, not monogamous.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Joel basically reintroduced us, and I was like, I'm having a party. Why don't you just come, et cetera? And she's older than me, right? She's two years older than me. So I was a bit like, you're 32, I'm 30. You're a bit too old to pick right now. Your mates are married. I literally gave her all the banter. I was like, your mates are married, running out of options. I'm still available. You know, let's do it.”
2020-10-26 · The Diary of a CEO · Overcoming Depression, Burnout, Anxiety and Insomnia with Dan Murray-Serter · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT