YouSaid · the spoken record

David Wheeler

lines on the record: 28
first: 2021-12-08
most recent: 2021-12-08
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“He came from us and we're still here. And he's here. There is an element to recognizing and being open to those things that is so satisfying and for that I'm so very grateful.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Francian's answers. Are sometimes external mine tend to be a little more internal. I have found great comfort in the concept, Eckhart's concept of the observer.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“About it, and it's hard. It's hard. I mean, imagine here we are grown adults who feel like we have some understanding of our emotional terrain. Helping Nate navigate that for him, it's really hard. And he's going to be dealing with this. For the rest of his life. And as he gets older and as he makes these connections, as he learns things and puts things together, up it's going to come. And we have to be ready to guide him through that and help him through that.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Because To the degree that we have any control over what that is, we do what we can, but you don't know where you are until you're there in many cases, so we try to be sensitive to each other, to Nate, to our families, to our friends. It's not easy.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, I mean, you know, so much of this journey has been about just trying to figure out what's happening this very second, and we're always surprised. We always think we're going to be fine in this situation or any situation, any given situation, and you walk in and you find out we are not fine, or you walk into a situation that you think is going to be a real bad situation, and it turns out to lift you and help you and heal you in a way you never could have foreseen. It's impossible to foresee that stuff, but yes, there is anxiety.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I have a certain amount of. The year anniversary, we talk about it with our friends in this group of families, the people that we resonate with and we don't know what we're going to do. We don't know what to do. We haven't figured it out yet.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“There's nothing else. So, how do you take someone who's making their decisions out of fear and help them? And how do we do that as a culture? How do we shift this ship?”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And I'd like to consider myself an advocate for. Common sense and sensible Answers to things. People hang on to their Beliefs very, very strongly. So let's find out why we're hanging on to these things and let's figure out if there's a place where we can come together and say, you know what I agree with this or agree with that, you know. Do you need? Is there any rational, sensible reason that you need a magazine that holds 30 rounds? Do you have that reason”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Number of school shootings. There have been half a dozen, I think, now. The number of people who have perished. Who in the world thinks that number is okay?”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Can't be a single person. In the world, who thinks this is okay. their right mind, and in this country I believe that this fact that you bring up is probably one of the most significant areas of common ground that we could find with those on the other side of this conversation. Who could justify the numbers even since december fourteenth?”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Part of the San Diego Promise, part of that. Formalized Piece of speech, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And the first time we heard it, I was so uplifted by just the idea that our neighbors and friends, many of whom we had never met, came around us in this way and lifted us up in this way. And the first mission of the promise is to support and aid in any way they can the families, us.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, for me, a bad day is when I cannot get to that place that I need to be, to be open. And the cynicism takes over and the frustration takes over and the desire for revenge takes over, it is strong stuff And there Difficulties in even That's so corrosive. There are difficulties in even getting through the rest of the day. It is so corrosive.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And finally, acceptance. And those stages in our situation, when it's a violent loss of a six-year-old, You bounce all over the place. It's not a, I sometimes even, I think I've said to my dad, I was like, using the word progress is not really even appropriate. You can't even think of it as a progression. It's not a straight line by any means. You're over here one day, you're over there the next, you don't know where you're going to be when you wake up. And it literally is, and this is, I think, fairly universal minute to minute at the beginning and then hour by hour There are the angry days, and there are the days where”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So it's pretty all-encompassing and that's how it's changed me. I've had to look into some great big questions and I never felt like I was staring into the abyss in my life and I don't feel that way now. I just, I'm much more open to these things.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Because, as he says, our ultimate goal, man's ultimate goal, is To love is going to be found in love. And he says the salvation of man is found in love and through love. And that's in one sense the salvation in a Christian sense in his tradition, but he's also talking through his experience about survival.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It is. It's very hard, but it resonates so clearly. And he says, Our purpose is to Find the answers to the questions that life presents us and the problems that life gives us every day. The best solutions and the best answers to those questions, that is what it ultimately means”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I stumbled up on a passage from it, and it was a passage about the enduring nature of love in times of grief and crisis. And so I went to that book very quickly and devoured it in small pieces because it's a very difficult read. But there is so much in there, and he comes to the same things over and over again, things that resonate so clearly for me. You know, no person, you just cannot do wrong to others, even if a wrong has been done to you. He says that's”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It has. I think this has definitely made me look at the bigger, bigger questions. I never read Victor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, until now.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Our job is to make our hearts bigger than the lost now, bigger than the loss. And there's only one way to do that. There's only one way You just have to make your decisions out of love.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“But the key to that is it doesn't really matter what you expect from life. What matters is what life expects from you. You have and to be able to see that and accept that is a very important step to find your way out of the dark.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, what it boils down to for me is having a reason to live Frederick Nietzsche said, if a person who has a why to live can bear almost any how and that's you know if you have a reason to live the mistake is looking at life and thinking and this is where I am the mistake is looking at life and thinking I have nothing life has nothing left to give me because of my tragedy and you know in our darkest moments we have been there”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, suffering grief are Intensely personal experiences And one of the hardest things for us, and I speak only for us, but I can only imagine that it's the same for everyone, is learning how our processes differ, even between us, to keep a marriage going. You have to respect the other person's processes.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“These gestures So you have to let that lift you. And you can't allow yourself to let it overwhelm you. But it has occurred to me that there's only one memorial for me personally as Ben's father that matters. And that's how I live my life. From here on out, that's it. That's number one, it's all I have control over. And number two, it's the only memorial that matters. So what matters to me is to speak. Want to say speak for him. That's slightly the wrong phrase, but to tell the story and to talk to people and to let them know where I think there is a certain sense in how we move on from here. And what we do”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What does it mean? Well, you know, I've said that I'm still the father of two children, two boys, and I believe that. I mean, look, I'm not done. Being Ben's father Because of this. And, you know, These kids, Ben and his classmates. With all good intentions have been memorialized in many different ways by lots of different groups and people, much of it without our consent or involvement, much of it with, but a good part of it, and I bear no ill will. This is gracious, kind, loving stuff.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's very hard, looking back to what Say to yourself with confidence. I did everything right. Everybody's dealing with this on some level. And whenever something like this happens, you always, it's our nature to second guess. and try and look back and figure all that stuff out. And it's really hard to say, I did. Everything I was supposed to do, and I did it right. We want control and we want the power over our circumstances. We want to be able to manipulate our circumstances to our best. Outcome”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He had a sniffle. And you asked me in the kitchen, you said, should I send him to school? He's got a little cold. And I said, he'll be fine. Send if it's not a problem.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Not a thing, and he was, you know, he was six. So he was at that age where he was starting to figure out how to not be a kid anymore. Which happens then”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sure. Well, Benny was a force of nature. He was As is sometimes typical of second children, I think he was always fighting for everyone's attention. He always wanted to be the center of attention at the dinner table Nate could barely get in a word edgewise, and he found ways often hysterical and often incredibly maddening, as all parents know, to be the center of attention and to make everyone focus on him. He had a tremendous amount of energy. And I've said that there was nothing on his dial between 1 and 11, which is absolutely true. He woke up in the morning at full speed, and he was full speed until he finally decided that his eyes would close and he'd hit the pillow. It was astonishing. I've seen him fall asleep in mid-sentence.”
2021-12-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: David and Francine Wheeler: Life After Loss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source