YouSaid · the spoken record

Daylian Cain

lines on the record: 92
first: 2020-05-18
most recent: 2020-05-18
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“And so I made a promise to myself. I just did it. I just decided. I just did it. I said, you know, I'm going to get out of this town. And that's the way. It's a simple way. And I don't know any other way. So I just worked my butt off and tried to get as many A-pluses as I could. I almost got all of them. And I learned that to get an A plus you can, if you're smart and the class is not rocket science, you can do it three days ahead of time. But to secure an A-plus, to guarantee it, you got to start 10 days, 17, 21 days ahead of time. And so I just did. And so I learned that I waited till the last minute, but I had a much healthier sense of when the last minute was and that people, when they're planning, they plan for everything to go right. And what you got to do is kind of unpack all the ways this could go longer than you think. The last minute is many nights before. So when you prepare for...”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And that sounds impressive, and it is, but I was shocked. I was like, that's it. That's all you have to do. Not everyone out there could get A pluses, but here's what I could, but here's what's worse is I didn't. I was a very smart kid who didn't apply myself. I waited to the last minute. The night before, I would shoot in a final paper that might get an A, but might be incomprehensible.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And I saw this guy, I won't name him, but he got into every grad school imaginable, which was amazing. Not so amazing as he printed up a t-shirt about it. And it said Princeton on the front. And on the back, this is going to sound awful. Thanks, no thanks. Harvard, Yale, MIT, Stanford. Okay, so hate the t-shirt. You know, he was young. It was before bragging was uncool. Whatever. I don't know. But I'm glad he did that because I saw that t-shirt and I asked everyone, said, how did he do this? So you are Yale Harvard educated. You have to understand like I come from a fishing town where that's just not normal. There's a border in between. There's socioeconomic status in between. Like there's a universe between us and going to those places. And so I couldn't believe that he got in and I asked everyone, how did he do it? Is he connected? Is he a son of a governor? Was he donating millions? No, he got straight A pluses last year.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Short version and the long version. Short version is. As a former and maybe still procrastinator, I still wait for the last moment. I just have a much healthier sense of when the last moment is. It's not the night before it's two weeks before.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I'm smiling in the line because I'm free to think about whatever the heck I want. And you got to get good at the mundane, maybe not get good at it. You have to make peace with the mundane because most of life is average.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And everyone was rolling their eyes and humming and huffing and puffing. And he said he put his hand on my shoulder. He goes, look at all these people how unhappy they are. He goes, why are they so unhappy? So I don't know, they're sick of waiting. Maybe some of them have bad news in their family. Maybe he has a bad back. I don't know. He's like, but most of them are just sick of waiting, right? He goes, yeah. He says, son, you better get good at waiting because there's a lot of it. And it really blew my mind that it doesn't sound so wise, but it's not that I'm a patient person. I'm just really good at finding my happy place.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That just blew my mind as life is long. Like you can taste a lot. And my mom wouldn't put it this way, but I say that my mom taught me to not pay twenty dollars for a $20 bill, not even pay $19. If your deal constrained, we're in real estate. If you can only do a few deals a year, you can't afford to pay nineteen because there's better deals coming along. You just got to do them. And so she taught me, and I mean taught me, by I would construct real estate deals that looked amazed. And she would say, that's amazing. Good job, son. We're not going to do that deal though. Because it's super amazing. And my father wouldn't even remember this, I doubt. Shout out to him. It was his birthday yesterday. He got a speeding ticket. I said, did you ask? Did you tell him it was your birthday? He said, oh, I forgot. I was like, well, okay, for your birthday, I'll pay for it. Anyway, one time we were in the grocery store and there's a long line everywhere.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“A bunch of step parents, so there's a list here. Step Didn't teach but exemplified like wasn't a jack of all trades, but he'd done a lot in his life, bush pilot, real estate person. And I once found his collection of ex-business cards.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And what we do now is we criticize from a position of dislike. And that's why no one does that, because I don't want to signal that I dislike you or your food. So making criticism friendly. And I try to do that with my students as best I can”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“How'd you like the meal? It's great. Give me one thing that I could improve. Now, I don't think he's going to get it that easy. I'm going to say, oh, it's great. It's great. It's great. No, please, sir. Please, please. There's always one thing you can improve. Consistent with loving the meal, consistent with coming back, consistent with doing business with me What is one thing I could improve? Oh my goodness, I would have a list for him. In other words, making criticism separate from personal opinion. Like you love the meal, but what might someone else say? I would have said, I loved the meal, but, you know, someone else might say too much sauce. I don't know. Just saying. So making criticism safe, impersonal, and consistent with liking.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And that's it. And we leave, and we're sitting in the parking lot. I found this interesting moment. I said to the group, I said, here we are, a bunch of management marketing professors. We teach feedback stuff. And here's feedback that for once someone wanted I was like, here's a guy who wanted our feedback, wanted our criticism, couldn't get it. How could he have asked that question? Now, we don't know. We're making up stuff, but here's what we came up with. He should have interrupted our exit and said, This is our first week. We hope you love it, but it's our first week, and we've learned from restaurant business that you can always improve.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And so they send waitresses to ask because they can see the food's piling up. We're not complaining. We'll pay for it all. We left a great tip, but we're just not eating it. And there was something wrong with it. It was over Chipotle, overchard, over salted, over vinegar, over sauced, overspiced, overt. It was overt. And everyone at the table agreed. And so we leave the table and the guy comes running up, the owner now. He's tiptoeing, trying to be discreet. It's hilarious. He's tiptoeing at full speed. And he blocks us at the door. And he goes, gentlemen. Just want to, you paid with the Yale card and you work at Yale. That's a big client for us. How's the food? It's great. In fact, we're going to your other restaurant. Great”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You just don't want to criticize, first of all, they're a great restaurant. They have many chains in New Haven. They have a lot of places. They're better restauranters than I could ever be. They'll figure it out. It's week one. There's going to be flaws. They don't need me. They'll figure it out. I don't want to criticize the person having a meal. You're not hiring me as a consultant. It's fine.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's not easy. Teach a seminar on how to create a culture of constructive criticism, but I could tell you a quick story. That's a pedestrian example. But me and another professor at a restaurant I'll leave unnamed. And the manager wanted constructive feedback on the food. And he asked the terrible question, which you all have been asked.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Read a ton while listen, listen to books constantly I do a lot of reflecting on my mistakes. Figuring out why students are learning something I'm teaching. These are smart people. Why didn't it connect? I love going through my mistakes.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So, I can be a bit of a procrastinator, but I'm good at game time. People who are on my team that don't see that the clock is running out.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I don't have much time for poker, but I love it. I love playing no limit hold'em and being on Candlewood Lake on a boat. It's just how we met. Our friend Jed and the Dream Team being out there on Candlewood Lake with my boat is my favorite thing.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Either in a course, an EMBA course or a book or podcast or a video. I don't know, but I want to produce something that parents can give to their 18-year-olds on the way to college and say, I will pay for the first semester, but if you want that second check, proof to me you read this. Compound interest inversion stuff that you already know, but like people aren't doing it. How do you lose weight? Exercise more, eat less, but it's getting people to do that. That's the interesting challenge to me. That's where teaching is. It's taking people from A to B. So we'll see. And doing a lot of sales workshops, and that's a lot of fun.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Got an online negotiation course that Yale's putting together coming out in April. Got an alumni Arjun Reddy. Shout out to him. He is a very successful investor and a Charlie Munger disciple, loves Munger, and the mental models, which many of your listeners will be familiar with. And he wants, and we've kind of agreed, is very recent, but he wants there to be a more better collected, better curated group of mental models. And what I'm interested in is, like I said, I'm interested in why smart people do dumb things. And so I don't like to drop truths on people, like exercise more, eat less. I want to figure out how do you get people to actually do that? So there's all these wisdoms in mental models already out there, but I think something needs to be written and curated to how to get normal people to actually do them. So it's very new, but my goal is to give people...”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sense of the bargaining zone. A lot of these gender effects go away What seems anecdotally right, right? Like if your niece was in the Carney Mellon experiment and got paid seven but was told this is an experiment, all you have to do is ask and get 11. I mean, she's going to ask, right? So how do we strike a balance? How do we make some of these differences disappear? I think that's where the research is going. It's really cool.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Video shows someone doing something pretty well, but not perfectly like an eight out of ten, seven or eight, somewhere in there. Then the man gets the eight and the female gets the seven. And the biased raider doesn't know you're doing this because it's legit. It is seven. It's assertive but a little antagonistic. It's not perfect. Seven is you wouldn't think you're a racist or a sexist giving that person a seven because it's seven or eight and you don't think you're giving them a bump when you give him an eight because it's seven or eight. It's pretty good, not perfect. And so some of the coolest research coming out now and what I'm teaching and trying to figure out is how female negotiators can do a better job avoiding the sexist backlash. And I'm a consumer of this research more than a producer, but it's something I'm very interested in lately. And by the way, kudos to Barry and I. It looks like that once women have a good”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then another group of people see a male actor do the exact same thing with the same script and same body language. He gets paid seven, asks for 11 on a scale of one to seven, whatever. Do you like him? Do you want him on the pod? And you know where this is going. The female negotiator gets ranked lower than the male negotiator. And women raiders do this too. Female raiders rate women worse. Now, if you saw both videos, only a card-carrying sexist would rate them differently because there's nothing else to differ them. So what I like to explain, the way the bias works is if both negotiators were insulting and terrible, they would both get zeros. You wouldn't bump the guy up. And if both were perfect, they would both get tens. You wouldn't penalize the female for wearing a dress or something. It's where bias happens is when the...”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“assertive Ted Rate this woman on a scale of one to seven Where do you think she went to school? Would you hire her? Do you want her on your team? Do you think she's friendly? Do you like her? Do you want her on the pod?”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“But then the demographic data that the surveys collected are used to predict who asks. And there's this interesting book called Women Don't Ask, which the conclusion was that gender was some of the biggest predictors. And it's not an estrogen testosterone thing. If you train your daughters to negotiate from a young age, they will negotiate better than my son. I'm training him too, though. And I doubt if we did a hormone check midlife that their hormones had changed. It's more of a culture and expectation thing. And the problem, though, is a new set of experiments hired actors and actresses to reenact the first experiment and show people like you. So you, Ted 1, sees a video of a gal negotiate. And so she sees this experiment $7 to $11. She gets paid seven. She asks for eleven. She does it pretty well too. Respectful, courteous.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And the question is who negotiates for 11? If anyone does, you get paid 11 immediately. There's no like, do they negotiate well, poorly medium? It's just, if they lean in at all and say, dude, why did I get paid seven? Who do I got to talk to to get 11? They got paid immediately 11.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“We got a lot of data on who should go first. We're trying to figure that out. Some interesting research on gender negotiations right now and some research showing that can I tell you what story about someone else's experiment? And then, okay, so very clever experiment. Linda Babcock and colleagues at Carnegie Mellon. And so they did this clever experiment where allow me to butcher the details for brevity. So the kids go past a poster and it says, come down to the lab. We'll pay you $7 to $11. You'll do 20 minutes of Margaret Research. And everyone does the market research, a bunch of surveys. They're just a filler task. And everyone gets paid seven.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And so, even though money might be your number one priority, the thing that pivotal could be way deep on your priority list. Like it's the number four issue that these two offers differ a lot on work-life balance, commuting time, or stress. And so a lot of people just go for what's important to them and not thinking about the interaction between what's important to them and what the other side is offering. What's valuable to you, cheap to them, is a two-sided equation People make it one sided too much.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And if you're a champion can get you that role, and if we just get you that role, you'll sign right now and it's semi-reasonable. So long story short is all about titles and work charts and work-life balance. And it's usually for successful people, I often say like, even if money is number one to you, I'm not saying money can't buy happiness. I'm not saying any of that. If you're a smart shopper, you can buy a lot of happiness. It's that often for successful people, even if all you care about is money, there's money in both paths. And the delta in the money between option A and option B isn't pivotal.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To them and where you are, and even if the deal is not negotiable at all, you should understand what the roadmap to success looks like and set yourself up in a position down the road. So title. I find that mid-career people negotiating the title is the number one thing I've seen. So if you're EVP and you want an extra 40K, it's sometimes harder to be the highest paid EVP in the room because that upsets the Alpacart, easier to be the least experienced managing director in the room.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Those people are usually in job crafting mode, like they can write their own ticket, especially if they get headhunted or poached by another firm. As you know, if another hedge fund approaches you, wow, you can really write your own ticket. And that's when the XYZ technique I was talking about earlier, like it's not naming your minimum price. That's not what I mean. It's naming your dream job, which is probably should be less about price and more about roles and responsibilities and progression through the org chart. In fact, for mid-career people, even young people with startups, when there's org chart flexibility, like if you're doing an internship, there's one place for you in the org chart. But as you progress through your career or as you deal with young flexible startups, I think that the people I coach focus way too much on money and then sat at the end of the conversation, they're like, you know right, Delion, I shouldn't focus on salary. Signing bonus, right? No, no, no, that's not what I meant. They're looking for things that are valuable to you.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And they already have a job. They have a job that they have on hold because it was grinding them. And they wanted to get their MBA because they wanted to get away from the grind. And they'll sell a grind to go join a startup. And you want to tell them, like, this is just the first startup that hit your face. Like there's a zillion startups. Why this one? Go for it. But what if I lose it? Yeah, I know you're young.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So you're a master of the markets when you're young, go along on equities, I hear, because you have time to recover. And as you get a little old, older may be bonds because it's not just that they're safer, it's that if something goes bad if we have a two thousand seven, you don't have time to recover from that kind of event. But a twenty-year-old does. And likewise, in the career, I say the big mistake that my students are making is they're a little too risk averse. And I don't mean as a personality or as a person. These are brave, intelligent, creative people. I don't mean that they're boring risk-averse personalities. I just mean often they're asking me to help them negotiate the first job that came along.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Make it about money way too fast. We've talked about that. Everyone has their own dragons or battling, but a lot of the people I coach at a young age, the young ones don't take enough risk. their careers”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Path for graceful reentry. So a pedestrian example would be I don't say three hundred dollars for a cashmere sweater. I don't have that kind of money. I'm out of here. And then you look to see if the seller is following you out on the sidewalk because then if he doesn't follow you, how do you save face and come back and buy that sweater? So it's walking away with a graceful reentry. And that's what the successful people need to learn. It's the graceful reentry paving and the young people need to just know where the exit door is. Is that top three negotiation techniques? No, but that's top three on tactics my students have had trouble with.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Plead with the billionaire, I won't reveal which company he owns, but he's literally a billionaire and he had secured in my course. I was doing a workshop for him and others the best deal on a case I wrote I had ever seen in real life. He had secured it. Number one, thousands of students. He's number one. And he was walking away. I was like, you can't even do better theoretically. I couldn't get this deal. Like you crushed the case. You're the world record leader. Please don't walk away. Please, please, please, I will make fun of you. And so on one end are people who don't walk away enough. And then the other end are people who they're walking away, but it's more of a stalemate and an insult. It's like, I don't need you. It's not a thoughtful walk away with a path to coming back to make the deal. So what I often say is walk away, but when you do, you have to pave a...”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, what did you just learn about them if their first offers fifty two thousand, what do you think their budget is? You've clearly totally underestimated their budget. You have no sense of the bargaining zone. You didn't ask the right questions. You're totally unprepared. You need to leave the room and rethink things. And I asked them a few questions at the end of those questions. I just don't reveal what the other person's budget is. I just say, now that I've asked you those things and you've thought about it, you've got out of the room, so to speak. What do you think her budget was? And I'm like, yeah, I guess around 90 or so. Well, yeah, that's right. Actually, it's dead on. It was 92.5. What do you think of 52 now? And so just leaving the room and collecting your thoughts and negotiation is learning, but it's also being thoughtful about what you've learned and thinking about what to ask next. Now, the upside is a very experienced people. They walk away just, I'll do a case, and they're just like walking away and turning down amazing offers.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Or aren't good enough, or even worse, ironically. They need 20,000 in some hypothetical deal. They were hoping for 30,000 and the partner comes out right out of the gate and offers them 52,000. And they're like, how I walk away from that that's better than I was going to ask for”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“One or two people. One of the two super nerds, I'll do everything you say. It's in the syllabus. Walk away. And then the penultimate class, who's walked away? 90% of the class hadn't walked away. On the last day of class, I said, you've pulled me up against the wall. I can't give you a grade here. You all have to walk away now, and it's going to be strange because everyone's going to know you're just walking away because I said so. And then even then half didn't walk away. I can't fail half my class and I just buckled and said, you know, I don't understand this. If a few of you didn't do it, I'd be mad at you. But since so many of you are doing it, I know that it's got to be on me because the 50 smart people aren't doing something, then I'm teaching, then I'm teaching it wrong. So I just dropped the requirement and I've been thinking carefully about how to bring it back. I can't get young people to walk away. They get in there. They feel pressured to do deals that aren't good.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And the only thing I could do is tell them how much I'm pleading. So I once made it a requirement to get a grade in my course that you had to walk away. I was teaching a seven-week course. You had to walk away at least once. And the other person just had to verify that you walked away. You don't have to walk away forever. You don't have to get no deal. Just leave the room. Be thoughtful. And I would give them coaching. I'm like, this is not nuclear. I'm not saying you don't have to say you're a jerk. I'm out. I'm never coming back. Just saying, I don't know if I can do those numbers. Let me go think about it. Have a Kit Kat break. Think about it. And as the class progressed, I'd say show of hands. Who's walked away?”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I see two the ironically. Young, inexperienced negotiators don't walk away enough. And so sometimes Yale puts me in front of very successful audiences. I'm literally coaching billionaires. I went to Beijing. I'm coaching billionaires on how to negotiate. I'm kind of wondering, like, wow, y'all could teach me something right now. And they do. They are very successful people and experienced negotiators are very comfortable walking away. They'll walk away no problem. And it's something I'm trying to teach my students. And it's a fact, I think it's my biggest failure as an educator. I can't get them to do it. Cannot.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Go to your current employer or the current player, your current relationship, and say, I'll make up numbers. You're currently providing $1.2 million of business. They're offering $1.4 It's not all about money, Ted. You were my first supplier. We've known each other for 30 years now. I want to do business with you. So you don't have to match them. Because of course, if I make you match them, it's this never ending of matching and it's no good. It's bad for you to set a precedent of matching. But I say, look, Ted, you don't have to match them. Just like this is a lot of money. I got to feed my family here. I've got suppliers. Meet it halfway. If you meet me halfway to 1.3, I'll never talk to them ever again. And you have to have some leverage. I'm not saying you'll get the 1.3, but you can do it in a friendly way and not gouge and say, I am putting a value on a relationship and I'm not trying to gouge. It's not all about money. It's just that the delta in money has given me reason to pause. Can we do something to unpause me?”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They don't because you're asking for a lot here, but someone in the room, your champion is saying she's awesome. I went to school with her. If we can just get her this, we've got her, please. My team needs her. Do it for me. And you need a champion like that to get some amazing deal. And what you're offering your champion is the security, a very important security, that if she burns her social capital, get this for you, oh my goodness, don't say no. Because that's the worst is if we give you a great deal and all you're doing with a deal is shopping around to the other players like a bargaining chip. And so I'm sure many people out there, I've had that happen to me. Yale's gotten burned. And people who used us as a bargaining chip to get a higher offer that they didn't intend to take. And so making a promise of a deal maker that you will honorably sign and live out and fulfill. And last thing on this is you can also”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You get this thing, it's ironically they have bigger fish to fry. And often what happens when you ask for a lot, and I've seen these meetings internally, is 90% of the people in the room don't think you deserve it.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You'll say, give me X or Y or Z, and they'll come back and say, Yeah, we can do X and we'll look into Y and Z. It's not that you get those things that allows you to put them out there in a friendly non-threatening way. You're saying, I would sign right now versus I'll never sign. And the last thing on this is it's not the words, the friendly wording of it allows people to actually say the thing. It's not a nuclear threat. It's a very friendly offer. And so it allows people to actually say it. They might say, look, I'm not saying I need EVP. I'm just saying, is it possible? Is it in the cards? Would I be wasting my time talking to Ted about an EVP deal? Or should I be talking about something else? And they'll tell you, are you wasting your time? Or will they talk about it and say, because if we could talk about that, man, I'm 100% in. Anyway, the real thing that you're offering with this when you're trying to decide between two parties is the now. You give me this, I won't even talk to the other people. You give me this, you can go on with your life. It's not because you're so important.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What do they need to give me at minimum for me to go to Boston? You need to know that, but let's not talk about that. Let's talk about the high end. But the problem they'll face is they'll say, well, Dalien, I don't want to shoot too high and make the deal go away. So the question is like, how do you mention what a reasonable, you're not asking for CEO, EVP should have come up. It should have been out there, but how do I ask for a reasonable but optimistic thing without making it a threat? And what I say is talk about the deal makers, not the deal breakers. And so you say EVP isn't maybe necessary or in the cards, but I've got a lot to think about. But if it was an EVP deal, I wouldn't even have to think. I don't even have talked to my kids. I'll buy them a trampoline, a pony. I'm in. The reason that works and when it works, it often they'll come back and say no to this, yes to that, maybe to some other thing. You don't say give me X and Y and.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sign right now. Now that sounds like, oh, yeah, is that really going to work just because you use that language? A few things on this. The cheesy descriptor of it is I like to say sell the deal makers, not the deal breakers. In other words, you don't say give me EVP or I'm not coming to Ted. There's always some bargaining zone where there's the high end it and the low end.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What I like to say to them is you tell that other offer, you say, this is amazing, this is my dream job, I went with you in grad school, I'd love to work with you, Ted. I'm so excited. How long do I have to decide? They really need to know by September. Then what you want to signal is you don't tell them your sob story or that you love your kids' private school or anything. You don't signal any distaste for the new offer, but you just signal a little sincere hesitation like you've given me something amazing, Ted. Let me think about it. And then the negotiation thing is, but if you made it, I don't even know if I deserve this, but if you gave it, somehow this could be an EVP offer Sign yes”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And they're wondering what to do. And it's a hard decision. It could be their dream job in Boston strategy consulting, but they live in Darien and have kids in private school and they have to uproot their family and what should they do. And they're upset about this and excited about that. And it's just a mixed bag. They're torn. It's like an apples and oranges. And maybe the apple's a little shinier and newer or something. And I often say like, can you negotiate a hard decision into a no-brainer? And that sounds kind of like cheesy fluff talk, but I'll give you some examples. It's really helped a lot of mid-career executives who get an offer, let's say, from Boston. It's a VP level offer. They're really excited, but they're sincerely hesitating.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Let me spin it. There's a million ways it could go with that question. Let me go with this way. A lot of people ask me for negotiation advice and I give it freely. I just ask for a two weeks warning. And often they face a decision between it's not quite the three-party dynamic you envision, but it's they face a choice between two parties.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Go back to you've now tried to structure contingencies. You're getting through the negotiation. What happens when there's another party involved? There's someone else who could derail the one-on-one agreement.”
2020-05-18 · Capital Allocators · Daylian Cain – Master Class in Negotiations (Capital Allocators, EP.138) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source