YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr. Bruce Perry

lines on the record: 43
first: 2025-02-04
most recent: 2025-02-04
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“And all of our guests Alexis and to Annie and to Dave and to Judge Sallas for sharing that story about your beautiful Daniel to our guests who read the book and shared their experiences and questions, what happened to you is available wherever books are sold. And my hope is that it does exactly what Alexis says, that you read the book and whatever has happened to you, you realize it's not your fault. Number one, it's not your fault and you're not alone. And it serves as a light in your life and a guide to reminder that healing is possible. And subscribe to the Oprah podcast if you don't want to miss an episode because we're talking about good things every week here. Go well. Can subscribe to the Oberpodcast on YouTube and follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. I'll see you next week. Thanks, everybody.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I remember telling the story to shook her when I was a little girl. It came to my church and her husband was running for governor and she turned to me and I never thought of myself as an attractive kid, you know. And she just said to me, you're as pretty as a speckle pub. That moment stuck with me forever and ever and ever. And so, I mean, just I think what you're mentioning is being able to be fully present to be there and see a person for who they are. And, you know, Dr. Bruce Perry, thank you for sharing your wisdom. Again, thank you for writing this book 2020. We did this book. I mean, thank you.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you, thank you. My hope is that this conversation can help you see a new path to healing. Up next, doctor Bruce Perry on how to break self destructive patterns. That's next. Thank you for your company today. My hope is this episode of the Oprah Podcast can help you learn how to start to heal from the trauma of your past. I'm back with doctor Bruce Perry. doctor Perry, once we become aware of our trauma. And how that trauma is showing up in our lives, how do we Break the self destructive patterns. I think this book, may I say, helps a lot because you understand, oh, that's why he does that. She does that. I do that. That's why. Helps you recognize it. But now that you recognize it, What do you do”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So interesting, the top part of the brain isn't what's going to really heal you. You got to get down to the very root of what that thing is. Yeah, what that thing is.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That you were the replacement. You were the replacement. I hear the story that I told in what happened to you about my grandmother and me not being able to sleep resonated with you. I told this story in the book about me not being able to sleep after my grandmother. Confronted, attacked in the bed by my grandfather who slept in another bedroom, and that after that night, I remember forevermore, she would put cans up against the door, the chair underneath the doorknob, and I slept in fear. And it wasn't until many, many, many, many years later that I realized, oh, that's why I'm so uncomfortable in my own home at night or going to a hotel, always you know, carrying the energy of that with me all those years. And I had to be like under five years old when that happened. I remember when that happened. How did that resonate with you?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Actually, it's very validating, isn't it? To say all these years I have felt that, I have sensed that, and I'm not crazy. That was real. That was real. Right. Thanks for being here with us again. Thank you. How did you feel after reading? Because what happened is after I met David in New York, I sent him our book. How did you feel after reading this book? Did it help you at all?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so while he was in his mother's womb, his mother was still grieving for that child. Can you believe that, for that death? And that for his whole life, he felt that there was a shadow over him like he was somehow a replacement. Now, I find that so interesting because I'm wondering, you know, we're talking about. Zero to two years old. So, when you're in the womb forming and you come into the world with your mother grieving and in sorrow, does that get transformed for to you?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's an honor to know that this book helped you to heal in any way, and that you also have used it to expose other people to better understand themselves. Thank you so much. Thank you for that. After the break, Dr. Bruce Berry and I are talking to people who share how the book What Happened to You help them heal from their personal stories of trauma. We're taking their questions next. Welcome back to the Oprah Podcast, doctor Bruce Perry and I are asking the question What happened to you? The title of our best selling book that sold over a million copies it gives me such hope to know that it has helped so many of you. This year I taped an episode of my book club with Eckhartly around his book on New Earth and a man named David was in our audience and he shared with me that before he was born before he was born his parents had lost a child.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the things that Judge Sallas said was that she says to Mark, her husband is don't talk to me. I'm dysregulated right now. One of the things that you make in the book is, and I know many of you who are listening or watching us right now, you've been in an experience where you're in an argument and you're like, you're not hearing me and people who are dysregulated actually aren't hearing you because they're in a different part of their brain and they can no longer hear.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I heard that the book also, Judge Salas, shifted the way you see the men and women who come into your courtroom. Tell us about that.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. Is a devastating loss, and we all thank you for sharing Daniel's story with us. So tell us how you then discovered the book and how this book impacted you.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you so much So, Dr. Perry told us about the United States District Judge Esther Salas, who is now joining us from her chambers. Hello. These are your chambers? In New Jersey, nearly five years ago, I remember reading that story. That was a horrible story that you endured the most unimaginable. Will you share what happened, Judge?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And this is the thing that I have learned for myself, Alexis, to share with you. You don't have to worry about trusting other people if you have done the work to trust yourself. So, you can trust that if somebody isn't providing you with what you need or that the moment a level of toxicity or them shaming or judging or in any way being disrespectful to you in any way shows up. You trust yourself enough to get yourself out of that.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“because So, if you're under constant stress and anxiety, that is being internalized in your body, in your health, in a way that you don't see now, but will be manifested later.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's why that other book that's also very popular Your body keeps the squatter. Your body keeps the squatter. You're saying that your body doesn't lose anything.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think there's a whipping at the end of it. I think somebody's, you know, it's my grandmother's gonna come in and she's gonna take that switch and I'm gonna get a whip in. I'm gonna get chastised. I'm gonna get punished for speaking up or saying whatever's important to me. If I don't do the thing that pleases the other person, I'm gonna get punished. That was the big realization for me. I think one of the things that you shared here that's so important that I just want to reemphasize for people who are, for those of you who are watching or listening to us is that you said, I realized it wasn't my fault. And I think that is the thing that what happened to you has done for so many people. It's freed them to, first of all, understand it's actually the science of my brain. And the circumstances that I was in, and it wasn't my fault.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thought One of the things I talked about in this book, I think, yeah, I think I talked about in this book, is that I came to the realization too, because I too was a major people pleaser. And I think people who suffer from trauma, particularly if there's been physical abuse in your life, what I realize is that every confrontation, even as an adult running a company, I suddenly realized that, oh, I think every confrontation I'm going to get a whipping.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I heard while reading the book, you were better able to understand a lot of your triggers, right? How did that show up for you?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you. Thank you. Alexis is joining us from Vermont. Hi, Alexis. I heard you read the book and that it was a validation for you.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you. Thank you, Annie. Thank you for reading the book, and I'm so glad you know that it was meaningful for you. Thank you.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When it came time for me to speak, I thought, well, what do I actually have to be grateful for? She didn't abort me Did the best that she knew, the best that she knew was not enough to feed what I needed was not enough to make me feel whole, was not enough to make me feel valued or seen or important to her. It was not, but it was the best that she could do. And I gave up the hope that it could have been anything other than what she had. And that's where you have to get to”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What happened to them? Watching you makes me want to cry, but I remember. Having to, I was being asked to come to speak about my mother at a church, and she was, you know, a very not religious. It was important for her to be seen as religious in the community. And I had become opra-win. And everybody knew she was my mother. And I'd been asked to come to church. Give all these accolades about my mother And I couldn't think of one thing. I was listening to other people tell stories of their mother, this girl told the story of how her mother would make lunch, especially in the rain. She would pack it in a special lunchbox and she would put their galoshes with those little yellow boots at the front door. And then she'd be home to take them off. And I was like, oh my God, I don't have one memory. I don't have one single thing. And so...”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You have to decide that I now accept that what happened happened as it happened. And I'm going to give up hoping that my parents were, could have been, should have been, anything other than what they were. And I am now willing to move forward. It doesn't mean that you excuse it. You condone it, but you accept that you are not going to continually hope that it could have been different because hoping that it could have been different leaves you in the space where you're going to always be stuck and you never get to move forward. You are as resilient. You are as strong. You are as caring for others. You have the compassion that you have because of all the things that you did not get from them that you had to find a way to make okay for yourself. So give up the hope for them and also what Bruce said, also understanding.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I love what you said about it's not a switch you're going to turn on. If I may share this, the best definition I ever heard of forgiveness. I can't remember who did it so many years ago on the show, was giving up the hope. That the past could be any different. So giving up the hope that the past could be any different is a decision you have to make.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I heard that after reading the book, you see yourself differently. I love to hear that, and I know Bruce does too. So how so? What happened?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Aye, thank you for listening to the Oprah podcast. When we come back, doctor Perry has advice on forgiveness and how to move forward from the traumas of our past. You don't want to miss that, so stay with us. I'm talking with world renowned trauma expert, doctor Bruce Perry. We're taking questions from viewers and listeners who read our book What Happened To You So I'm really, really so moved today because we heard from a lot of you who have read the book and some of you are joining this conversation. Annie, hi there. You're zooming in from Minnesota. Oh, lovely home. Very nice.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And loved you. So that could be a teacher. That could be a counselor. That could be somebody in Sunday school. That could be, yes.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Or not be fam Is what I want people to know because so many people feel as I did that you didn't get what you needed from a particular parent or from your loved ones who were supposed to love you. You didn't get loved the way you needed to be loved. But I had asked you earlier in one of these conversations, I don't know why I'm not stone crazy. And you said.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I think a lot of people may think, well, it's too late for me. I'll live with this pain for the rest of my life. What do you want people to hear and understand about healing from their own trauma and what resilience actually means?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I can't emphasize enough. If you didn't get what you needed, and it doesn't mean that you were not in a loving environment because I've over the years interviewed multiple people from the same family, somebody felt that the that's why you end up arguing with your sisters and brothers about what went on because they're saying what mom and dad were this and you go, but that wasn't my experience. And if you didn't get what you needed, that's all that matters.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the reason why it is so crucial, 0 to 2, 0 to 6, those early years, is because that's when we have the greatest growth in our learning ability, right? Exactly.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And this is what everybody needs to know, particularly about younger, younger children. And that's why the zero to two years old is so important is that even though those children don't understand language, they understand energy and vibration. They are responding to.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's why it's so important for every human being to understand what happened to you. Because what happened to you when you were little, even before you were able to process it is what dictates your behavior and your decisions, your choices, the way your brain operates in later life. And that is true for every person. That's why that's the most important question you can ask, particularly when things aren't going the way that you want, is not what's wrong with him It's, I wonder what happened to him. Exactly.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the biggest, biggest, biggest takeaways for me, you all when I was working with Dr. Bruce Perry on this book, is learning, and I'd heard it for years. You'd been on my show. I'd heard the information. I just hadn't received it, but I heard it differently. After building a school and having a lot of kids who had come there traumatized. But to hear from you that from a zero to two years old, zero to two years old is the time when the most damage can take place to the developing of the brain. So what I learned from you and this book, what happened to you, if you are raised in an environment where your needs do not get met at a very early, early age. Zero to two. The synapses in your brain do not form the way other people do. And you end up with long-term other issues.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the most important takeaways that I got from the book depending on what age you are when you experience the trauma you handle it differently and it manifests in your brain differently.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I never ask the question what happened to me. I was always asking what was wrong with me. So I think the fact that we did this book together has really, you know, not just sold a million copies, but has affected a million lives.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They are the most interesting kid in the class. And if you are a teacher or an educator who's listening or watching us right now, or you are involved in the criminal justice system or you are in any way having to deal with people who come from dysfunctional backgrounds. This book is absolutely essential. I know one of the things that has been the most rewarding for me, I was working with women at the California Women's Institute. They read the book as a book club assignment. And one of the most and then wrote me letters and that they all put in a book. And one of the most rewarding things was to understand that for so many women who've been incarcerated for years, they had never understood. They actually said to me all this time I thought I was just a bad person. I thought I had a demon.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Minimize not feeling whole themselves because the only people that make people feel like they are minimal are people who feel minimal themselves.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That was a that was one of the biggest moments for me. It changed the way I run my school. It has changed the results of what's happened at my school. It changed the way I see people, the way I see myself, the way I operate in the world and business. And you said that when a person or child is actually behaving in a certain way, that that's the question, not what's wrong with you, but more important what's happened to how did you know this? How did you come to this?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A simple question that resonates profoundly for so many of us. What happened to you? I have to say that question changed everything. I think it was 2018. I was interviewing Bruce Perry for an episode of 60 Minutes on CBS. Yeah, you were there even, Keith, right? Keith, my favorite DP I've had for years. We were talking about children, and you made a comment. You said, you know, all these schools where they have the kids and those kids get dismissed and they get suspended from school and the teachers label them as bad and they say this is a bad kid, this is a bad kid. What they really should be saying not is what's wrong with this kid, but what happened to this child?”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Dr. Perry has written half a dozen books, including one he co-authored with me called What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. I'm proud to say it's a number one New York Times bestseller.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I also asked Dr. Perry to implement his work called The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics to help my girls school in South Africa become a trauma-informed school.”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hey there, and thanks to you for joining me here on the podcast and for watching on YouTube. Today I'm welcoming Dr. Bruce Perry. I've known Dr. Bruce Perry, a world-renowned child in adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. I've known him now for 30 years and more. I invited him on the Oprah Show more times than I can count”
2025-02-04 · The Oprah Podcast · Dr. Bruce Perry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT