YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr. Julie Smith

lines on the record: 91
first: 2022-03-03
most recent: 2022-03-03
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Thank you so much. And thanks for having me. It's an absolute privilege to come and talk with you. And I can have a list of my own questions for you. That's for another day. But thank you.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That they all have to go to school and we have to go to work and they got skills to learn and clubs to attend. And, you know, it's the kind of normal life stuff that you get busy with, which is still just as meaningful. But I think, you know, if there was a week off of school and clubs and stuff like that, then that's where we'd go to, I think.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If I didn't have to do anything. I'd probably spend more time at the beach. That sounds bizarre, but I love being outdoors with the kids. I love being at the beach with them on the coast or in the forest with a dog. And I would probably do more of that, I think, just being outside and letting the kids be kids with, you know, hitting trees with sticks and kicking stones and like, you know, just the fun stuff probably. Probably do a bit more of that.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes Some of the time. And I would say that because There's this idea that happiness is either there or it's not. It's constant. Like some people have it and some people don't. A feeling like anything else and sometimes I'm really happy. Sometimes I'm ecstatic. Other times I feel really sad or frightened or stressed. That's okay. Generally, I'm happy with the setup of my life and positive things are happening and thank God all of my children are healthy and safe and all of those things. So yeah, I'm pretty grateful for my lot at the moment But I wouldn't say I've found the secret to happiness, and then that is a constant, and here I go. I know life's going to be a roller coaster because it's for everybody. And there will be times when I'm knocked back and I don't feel happy. And I know that I'll have my own back when that time comes.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I mean, hugely, it can be really difficult when people, for example, when people become depressed and their relationship with themselves becomes very poor and they're talking to themselves in a poor way, they believe awful things about themselves, it can become really difficult for them then to sustain or manage their relationships in a positive way because they don't feel worthy of that relationship, for example. I don't know so much about, you know, people say don't love anyone else until you love”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And going with what you're dealing with at that point rather than the world says we should be having dinner tonight and you should be buying me 10 roses. Therefore, we're getting this really wrong if it's not happening. And there can be all matter of reasons why that might not be the case at any one point. And that's okay, isn't it? But yeah, it's looking at if I'm not feeling loved, is it just about because I've set a standard and I've applied some standard to this other person that they're not fulfilling? Or am I feeling unloved generally? You know, is this one? Is this the sort of last straw type thing? There's a buildup of resentment because I haven't been expressing my needs. And then Valentine's Day feels like the valid time to do that because everybody else gets roses. You know, it's kind of, it's a difficult one.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. And I think sometimes that response from people comes out of our insecurity about what's right because nobody sort of talks about these things or they haven't historically. And so nobody really knows if the way they're having their relationship is the same as anybody else. And are we getting it right or wrong? And so often there can be these knee-jerk reactions from people about, oh, that doesn't sound good because that's not what I know to be true. And, you know, then it becomes, you know, diversity, it becomes sort of difficult for people to handle then, doesn't it? If your experience is different to mine, then am I wrong? And people get really kind of upset about that.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's no tablet. That's nothing. It's how we're built and we're supposed to live in groups together and look after each other. And even in our kind of very individualist society where it makes us value other things and pulls us away, we have to keep reminding ourselves of what it means to be a human being, I think.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And no one, again, it's one of those things no one gives you a manual for it, and yet when it's going right, life feels incredible. And when they're going wrong, everything feels like it's falling apart. And so, you know, I think it's an area certainly that I want to move into more and more because I see the value of it and I see how it just makes all the difference for so many people. You know, human connection is our sort of inbuilt stress resilience mechanism, if you like. So you've only got to, if you're feeling something, if you're feeling high in stress, for example, and you have a good quality human connection or contact with someone changes the way that your body deals with that stress. I mean,”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, I don't think there is a therapy session I've ever conducted without it coming to relationships at some point. You know, it is the fabric of us, isn't it? It's what we kind of live for in many ways. And that's why I included it in the section around meaningful life, because, I mean, I touch on it and it's such a huge subject that you could write reams and reams of books on relationships because they feel so complex sometimes, don't they? Right? We're constantly making mistakes. I'm not getting it right and having to sort of, you know, reevaluate and shift.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Me personally, if I can touch people's lives with something that's positive. In a world where your life can be touched by so many things that aren't positive, while at the same time still being the parent that I want to be and being present in my children's lives and being a positive impact for them, gearing them up for their own adventures, then yeah, I'll be pretty pleased with them.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, absolutely. And actually, it's an exercise that's done in acceptance and commitment therapy where you talk to people about, let's say, you reach the rifle age of 104 and you're sat in your armchair and you're looking back on the chapter of your life that is to come, what would it need to include for you to be looking back smiling and feeling like... Did all right there. That was how I wanted it to go. Live and the attitude that you would want to face life with.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“With that value of enthusiasm today, or it can be a source of, you know, that's why I get up and I practice gratitude or why I always tell my governor I love her every day or whatever it is that it can also be a way to live well.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and it's something I kind of got, you know, up to my neck in when I was sort of researching for the book and stuff like that because I included a chapter on grief and loss and then I started to kind of read more widely about dealing with your own impending death and you know for people who have sort of illnesses and things like that when they know that death is coming. And so I just got really kind of into all that stuff and there's some great work out there by some brilliant people around dealing with the idea that it's all going to end and the idea that that can be a source of meaning is a source of fear, right? Everybody has to deal with that fear. But it can also be a source of meaning in life today. So it can be a reason why you get up and you go.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, because there are people that don't have choice, right? And that's where something else we'll talk about in the book is about how people talk about, oh, just eliminate your stress. And yeah, okay, you know, say that to the single mom who works 40 hours a week to keep a roof over a kid's head or, you know, that lots of stresses can't be chosen or, you know, maybe you're waiting for results from the doctor about some test you had and the stress is just hanging over you. You know, those sorts of stresses, you don't choose those. They're a normal part of life and there are tools to kind of deal with those. But when there is, you know, there will be certain parts of life where we can say yes or no, and that's when we need to exercise that control, I think.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, we're in privileged positions, right, where it can feel like you don't have choice. You have to just keep going. But actually, the thing about privilege is that you then get to choose what's going to be most healthy for me here, what's going to be most meaningful, and give me the life that I want to have and say that you're basing your decisions on your own values rather than somebody else's.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. What it is to be human. Yeah, because it feels like you have to battle to do normal stuff, to do human things. Exactly. And it is because of, I guess, the sorts of media that we consume that tell us, you know, you've got to do more and be more and have more and earn more and spend more. And it's sort of this treadmill that keeps speeding up. And everyone's going, why am I so worn out? Like, what's going on? And then they blame themselves for feeling worn out when actually it's this environment that and all these kind of pressures that sort of make that worse. And so, yeah, I mean, and that's where, you know, like when you ask me about kind of, you know, what's next and how do you cope with all that, it always has to come back to.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, exactly. And then we can kind of believe in it. And actually, we have the power to do some of these things that make such a difference. And that's really where this whole thing grew out of was, you know, people saying to me in therapy, why on earth has nobody told me this before? This is not rocket science. And it's changing everything. And this is brilliant. I want to tell everyone. And actually, there's a lot of the messages I get is people saying, I've told my nan, I've told my auntie, and we're all doing it together. Thank you so much. This is really, you know, but sometimes they are just really simple things that you then don't forget. And once you've got that tool, you've got it then forever. You know, no one can take that from you.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, yeah, because you can't, you know, you don't have that kind of anxiety off switch, right? Or you can't directly choose to slow your heart rate. But because it's linked to other things that you can influence, you have to use those as avenues in to sort of slow the whole process down. And that's where we really underestimate things like breath work and slow breathing because they seem too simple. And, you know, like we want something complex or, you know.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Kind of box shape, and you start with the kind of bottom left corner. And as you kind of trace your eyes up to the top corner, you're just counting in as you breathe in. And it's maybe like four seconds. And then as you trace your eyes across the top, that will be a pause. So you're just holding a breath for four seconds. And then you come back down with an out breath of four seconds and then hold. And so you're just kind of breathing in for, hold for, out for, hold for. And it's just one way of when you're out to give you a visual focus that can help you to just monitor, okay, and now I'm breathing in, now I'm breathing out because when you're really, really panicking, actually breathing slowly can feel really difficult to do. So you can use that kind of visual. But also more recently, some great research has been coming out about how to kind of, it's helpful to extend the outbreath. So if you can, it doesn't really matter what the numbers are. If you can make that out breath longer and more vigorous than your in-breath, then that's going to help calm that response fairly quickly.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you'll kind of start gearing up into action. So if you can slow your breathing down, you can slow the whole process down. I think I mentioned this in the book. I've certainly done videos on it, is sort of box breathing or square breathing, where you just, you can, if you're out and about and you don't want anyone to really know what you're doing, if you want to bus or a meeting, pick something like a door or a window or something.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure. So it's one of the probably the first things that I will go through with someone because you'll get people who come along for therapy and that first, you know, it takes time, right? You have to get to know each other and they're trying to communicate their story. And then a whole week goes by before you see each other again. And actually, people often go to therapy when they're in a really bad place. And so they'll often be saying, is there something I can do in between sessions that's going to help me get through to next week? And so if that person is struggling with really high anxiety, that one thing that I'll, you know, is very quick to teach that they can take away is something like a breathing exercise because it's one of the quickest ways that we can, you know, slow the anxiety response. So if you're anxious, your breathing will be fast and shallow. So kind of, and if you do that for long enough, you actually start to feel quite panicky. Yeah, yeah. And that's because, you know, your heart and your lungs are connected, so your heart's going to start pounding to get all that oxygen around your body.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Almost be detrimental because it sets up this internal argument where your mind also chips in with the reasons that you're not. And then you start kind of battling it out in terms of, well, but what about this? And what about that? And then you end up having, you know, you're in turmoil. So it can have a detrimental effect if that person is genuinely really struggling with low self-esteem or low confidence and that kind of thing. So, I think affirmation can be more helpful when they're instructional, when they're about when this, do this, and it will help you get through this difficult situation. Like, you know, sports people use them and stuff like that to help them get through high pressure moments. But in terms of turning around core beliefs, probably not so much.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, absolutely. So your brain works like a scientist with evidence through action. So, you know, if you want to start to feel better about yourself, essentially the best way to do that is through action and doing things that not kind of flood the system and make you feel really vulnerable, but something that feels a challenge but manageable. And then you get this little kind of step up. And there's something else that's a challenge of manageable and you get this step up. But yeah, certainly with, you know, words are powerful, but things like affirmations I talk about in the book about how not to completely throw them out, but to be sure about how you're using affirmation. So if someone already feels lovable and they read an affirmation that says I'm lovable, it'll probably make them feel quite good for a minute and they can soak that in and enjoy that. And it'll be kind of short-lived impact. If someone has doesn't believe that, if someone has core beliefs that they're not lovable and they're trying to repeat, I am lovable, it can.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And if you then treat yourself. Les leave school then. Let's have a day off. Let's go with let's indulge this. Whereas self-compassion or showing compassion to someone in that way would mean, okay, what's the best thing in this scenario? So what's going to be most helpful to you and your future in this is probably working out what's going wrong and getting to school and tackling the problem, right? So yeah, self-esteem can be a sort of tricky subject, really, and that people put a lot into it, but it's one part of a bigger equation, I think.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, do you know, there's been a lot more controversy around the idea of self-esteem more recently in the field. And self esteem is based on this idea of evaluation of yourself. And so there was a lot of work done in schools and stuff years ago around getting kids to think of what they were good at and what they could achieve and their strengths and what they liked about themselves. And high self-esteem can be lovely in that sense, but it's not always useful depending on what situation you're in. It's not necessarily useful to think I'm great in a situation where I'm not doing great. You have to be honest with yourself. And so for me, a much more helpful way of looking at it is to look at it in terms of self-compassion. So your self-esteem can be low, but that doesn't mean that the story is over and things are awful for you. You can have low self-esteem.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, you're just setting yourself up to fail if you think, if you're trying to control what thoughts come into your head. But if you allow them all to be there and then you choose consciously what to do with them next or how much time to spend with each one, then yeah, it's closer to winning.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, causes people loads of problems when we think that the thoughts that pop into our heads say something about who we are or that we chose them in some way. And that's where this whole kind of, there's a lot of stuff online, isn't there about, you know, only positive vibes and only think positive thoughts. And if you do that, you're setting yourself up to feel like a failure because it's not the way the human mind works. And thoughts will pop into your head. And that's your brain offering up ideas, opinions, judgments, narratives, you know, memories, all that kind of thing. And it's what you do next with it, you know. And that's where people come really struggle with intrusive thoughts, for example. So they'll have a thought that feels bizarre to them or feels aversive in some way and then judge themselves for having had the thought and try desperately not to have it again. And when you try not to have a thought, you're already having it because you think don't think about whatever it is. And so.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that's okay to make mistakes and then move on. That's probably a different subject, but the emotions get judged. But if we can look at emotions with curiosity instead, which is a lot of what happens in therapy, actually, is being able to notice whatever's in the room, sitting with it, looking at it with curiosity rather than judgment.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, absolutely. Emotions get such a bad rap, don't they? Because they kind of, you know, we talk about things like jealousy and people say, you know, I just could never get jealous because it's an awful emotion or something like that. And actually, the emotion isn't the thing to judge. The emotion is information. It's your brain's best guess at what might be going on around you. And your brain sometimes gets it right and sometimes gets it wrong. And it's your job to work that out. And so to look at emotion with curiosity, wow, I'm feeling really envious. What's that about? How can I work around this and work that out? And how do I want to then respond to that? How if I look back on this really difficult moment in a year's time and I feel proud of how I dealt with it, how would I need to deal with it to feel that way? Not easy to do in the moment because these moments happen quite quickly sometimes.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's okay to do that sometimes, right? We all do it because we're human. But what happens is a lot of people will come to therapy when they've lost touch with their values for some reason, maybe life has sort of pulled them in a different direction. And they're not totally aware of that. They're just aware that everything just feels kind of meaningless or I just feel lost. And I'm not sure why I don't feel the way I want to. And often when we act based on how we want to feel now or how we don't want to feel now, that's that short-term stuff that will keep us stuck in the long term. Whereas if you act based on values, you can live a life of meaning. It won't always be comfortable, but it will mean something.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, you kind of build up coping strategies for it over time, don't you? The more you do it. It's probably a mix of that and making clear choices based on your values rather than your feelings about how much of it you want to have.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then your confidence can't grow, it's not going to grow sitting at home. And that's where in therapy we talk about the most important stuff is the stuff you do in between sessions in your real life. And so for anyone, I often say to people, if there's something that you really want to master, but it makes you nervous, do it as much as you possibly can in manageable doses because the thing that you do every day will become your comfort zone. So it will gradually become easier or you'll become more confident at your ability to do it. But the way that your brain works is through repetition. So the more you do something, the more your brain will get better at automating it for you.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so I did a video on this recently, actually, where we don't know what we were thinking, but we used kind of balloons with a tube that went between the balloons. And it had this idea that if one of those balloons was confidence and the other one was...”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then we'll look at okay, what led up to that? Let's go back a week and let's work through it. And, you know, what made you vulnerable to that? And then equally, what came after, what did you do? Did it make things worse? Did it help? A lot of those things that we end up doing habitually are the things that work instantly. And they're addictive because they work instantly, right? It's going to the fridge or grabbing the wine or whatever it is that they're addictive because they give us instant relief. But in the long term, they keep us stuck. So they're the things that then get us in that cycle of the next time you have that feeling more need for that safety behavior or that blocking behavior because it worked so quickly last time. And actually the things that tend to work in the long term are hardest in the moment, like sitting with it and feeling it and using skills to get yourself through it. So it's not an easy ride.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I guess, you know, some people will go to therapy because they'll have access to that. Others won't even consider it or have access to it for whatever reason. And I think whatever the situation, human contact and human connection is everything. If you can find someone that you trust to talk to, and even let's say worst case scenario, you don't have anyone you can trust to talk to or you feel so awful about this particular situation you can't bear to talk to anyone, write it down. Just use words. Use art, whatever it is, try and get to grips with what could possibly be going on here. Start reflecting on experiences, not with judgment, but just looking at what's happening, what happens here, what happens before that, what leads up to it. That's a lot of what happens in therapy actually is, you know, people come in with a feeling, felt this awful thing.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, therapy is a really private thing when you're really struggling. When it works and you get better and then you're doing fine and it finishes and you go off about your life and then you come across someone who's struggling and they go, that really helped me try that. And so actually, all of my work was based on word of mouth. And I think that's happening more and more that people, once they struggle, work out a way to get through it, then believe in the tools that they learned, whatever they were, they're willing to share that. And because they don't want to see other people go through the same thing. And I think that's a bit of the shift of that stigma that people are going, oh, yeah, I went through that or something similar. Go and try that. It really helps.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, certainly. I mean, about 75% of my followers are female. But saying that of the male followers that I have, they're among some of the most engaged and asked questions and come up with new topics and respond very positively in comments and things. And so I think there is a shift in the right direction. And I think social media has had a lot to do with it, actually. It's enabled people to start having a conversation that they wouldn't dream of having face-to-face with people. And certainly I recognize that when I was just working in my private practice, I wanted to do it around the family. So I couldn't do it all. So I kind of left the NHS and I thought I'll just work in like school hours and I'll manage it around that kind of thing. I thought I would have to advertise, and I never did. And that's because.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You want to open up gradually to things and open up gradually to emotions that feel maybe less dangerous or less sort of overwhelming in small ways, in supported ways as well, so that you know you can manage it and it's not going to completely be overbearing. But I guess on a kind of day-to-day level. Lots of people don't even recognize that they're blocking, they just recognize that whenever they've done something at work that's embarrassing and they feel awful, they just go home and crack open the fridge and they're just looking for anything. Or maybe it's go on Netflix for like six hours and block out the world or gaming or whatever it is. And so often it's hidden in the behavior. People will say, yeah, I'm fine with emotion. But I smoke 50 a day. And, you know, it's a kind of what.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and actually, it's quite complex work when you look at sort of what happens in the therapy room, you know, there are people who, when they experience emotion, it's quite unsafe for them because the coping strategies that they've had throughout life have been unsafe or dangerous ones. And so, you know, we'll never kind of advise people to just, you know, open the floodgates and allow everything in. It's very sort of careful and there's a process of gearing people up with the tools. And I often talk to people about this when they're thinking about going to something like a trauma therapy, right? So while that involves going over the trauma, no decent therapist would ever get you to do that without first gearing you up with the tools to be able to cope with the emotion that comes up. So for anyone who feels like they, for example, kind of shut down emotionally and sort of block it out.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and I guess in all honesty, my barometer is always my family, so my children. And I will only ever do as much as I can do while I'm being the mom I want to be, I think. And I won't always get that right. And I haven't, along the way, there have been times when I thought, no, this is too much. I need to pull back and things like that. That's my kind of center point, really, because that is, you know, where my core values lie and that's the most important role I have as far as I'm concerned. And so I guess I will always use that as the baseline, you know, is this going to have a detrimental effect on my family or not? And what can I do within that?”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We then just overextended. We're trying to do everything perfectly and it's impossible. And then we feel terrible and we feel like we're failing or we're at fault rather than the culture that says you can be anything you want to be. You know, actually it's okay to decide this is what I want my life to look like. And that's okay. You know, it's just, it's okay for it to be like that. And for people to have goals that are smaller than others. You know, I think it's. Probably leads to a much more psychologically healthy outcome.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and I think we're subjected to these kind of ideals of everything, aren't we? And, you know, for parents, there's this kind of all these images about what it means to be the ideal parent, depending on what kind of content you're consuming. And then there's these ideas of the ideal business person or the ideal author or the ideal social media, you know, whatever. And because we're subjected to so many of them.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Going, got to say something profound now. You know what? Find something. So, you know, and I think it's awareness of every job has its ups and downs. I can't rely on feeling like it all the time. I have to remember why I started it and the values behind it to keep me going.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I think there was a period where it felt like just a grind of work when not the writing. I loved the writing, but then there was obviously this pressure to keep, you know, putting content out there and I can't just disappear for six months. And that pressure felt like, but I think that was a symptom of overload of just, okay, I've got to write a book. I've got to be a mum. And it's a lockdown and we're homeschooling and I've got to get video on every day. And, you know, for me, that's a sign of overload. And that in turn influences your motivation in the moment. But I guess I'm aware that motivation is something I can't rely on anyway. It's a feeling and it comes and goes. So some days it will feel like a grind and other days it will feel really exciting, you know, coming to do this and meet you. And that stuff's kind of really wonderful. And some days, you know, I'm in my therapy room on my own with a camera.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It can do. I think there's the temptation for it to do that, isn't there when things shift? And that's why I think it's been so important to me. Keep in mind, I think if I didn't have that initial reason for, you know, I wanted to share this really good information that's usually locked away in the therapy room, it just wasn't me. So it wasn't enough of a pull. You know, I didn't have any interest in being kind of public person, that kind of thing. So it wouldn't have been enough for me to work that hard on it. That thought or that value in my mind about sharing knowledge that can help people with their mental health, then that enables me to keep going.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Keep that honesty all the way along, but yeah, these are great tools and they really, really help, but it doesn't stop life throwing stuff at you. It doesn't make you invincible. And I say that in the introduction, this isn't the key to a problem-free life. It's an arsenal of tools that you can use to face those problems with that will ensure you can kind of get through it.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Think it's always a tightrope, isn't it? You know, like something will happen and there'll be a late night or an early morning and that shifts again and there's no recovery because children are waking up early and stuff. I think while I've got a balance, I hate the idea that I might perpetuate this notion that I've got it right and that, you know, just do what I do because I've got this perfect life and it's absolutely not that way. I think is detrimental in kind of social media and things like that that can really catch people out is the idea that you look at someone online and you assume that they have it all sorted and that they don't have problems and that they don't struggle with normal human stuff that we all struggle with. And so I've tried to sort of.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, that kind of, well, you will die sooner if you don't sleep. So let's weigh this up. So it's one of those things. It feels like when there's more to be done than can be done, it's so tempting all the time to ditch on that bit of extra sleep that you know would be good for you. But it's, yeah, I think it's something that we all have to just always remind ourselves, you've got to come back to it and you've got to give your body what it needs.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So important, so important. And, you know, that's kind of a battle I've been going on because, you know, with this kind of work and the demands of, you know, creating content alongside having three small children, it hasn't been unusual for me to kind of be up in the night with children and then be getting up at five to make videos before I take them to school. And like, you know, just it's not sustainable, that kind of lifestyle. But I notice if I've not had enough sleep for, you know, a few days, it will impact on how I feel and it'll impact on my performance and how effective I am at work and what I'm doing. And so, you know, you have, it's something you just have to take seriously. I think, and something that I don't know, in our culture, there's this kind of shift towards the saying, like you sleep when you die and all that rubbish.”
2022-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety: Dr Julie Smith · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT