YouSaid · the spoken record

Jerry Colonna

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100
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2024-05-30
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2024-05-30
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  1. “Yeah, I mean, probably the best way to sort of follow what's going on is reboot.io slash book. But also if you just go to the reboot.io website, we've got a bunch of resources, podcasts, self-guided courses, journaling exercises, all sorts of things designed to help folks all for free because, hey, what the heck, you know, let's help each other out. And that's probably the best way. You can also follow me on Twitter at Jerry Kalona. You mentioned that earlier. But pick up the book. I'm pretty proud of it. And I hope it makes a difference, makes a dent in the world. That's the best that we can hope for.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “There's that weird, crazy esoteric thing that all those people, high achieving people say, oh, there he goes. Oh, helping me helps other people, helping other people helps me. Yeah, right. Tim's living proof of that. So there.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “Well, thank you, and thank you for giving me the opportunity. And thank you for asking gorgeous questions that really help me think and feel. And thank you for doing what you do every day. It really means a lot to the world.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “Tim, think of the times in which you have struggled. You've been very open about your struggles. And by the way, thank you for doing that because you model something that's really important. Think about when you've been at your worst and how alone it feels and how it becomes this self-reinforcing negative view that you must be crap because you feel like crap. It's like, no, stop. You must be human because you feel struggle. And there are billions of humans and have been billions and there will be billions more. And struggle is universal.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “Because we feel so broken, because we question our worthiness all the time, we exacerbate the feelings of I must be the only one who's going through this. And this is crazy because despite all the evidence, whether it's myths, whether it's stories, whether it's religions, whether it's philosophical traditions, everybody's saying the same thing. You're fundamentally good. Yeah, there are things you can do to improve your life, but you're fundamentally good. Relax. It's okay. That's that equanimity that I often talk about. It's like, okay. So I guess you're not alone. And just because you feel like shit doesn't mean you are shit. And if I'm not shit, then this feeling of it being crappy right now, well, this will pass. So let's add another one. This too shall pass. Can I add? On to that”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “It's a big vote, so it doesn't say impeach Trump. Just kidding. It says you're not alone. And just because you feel like shit doesn't mean you are shit. That you are not alone is really, really important.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “By the way, I have to practice it every day. But I'm a good enough partner. I'm a good enough business person. I'm a good enough coach. I'm good enough parent. That's the hardest one for me. Have I wounded my children? Yes. Does that undermine whether or not I am a good man and a good father? No. And that allowance has done something really magical. It's allowed them to accept themselves. So, yeah, it's a big move.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “It's a belief. I believe that I am a fundamentally good person. and that I accept the fact that I often fail to act in accordance with that. But that feels to this guilt-ridden, anxious ridden, angry child from Brooklyn way back when that feels radically transformative. What? I'm good just as I am? No. Yeah, I'm good.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “And all of a sudden I start visualizing the area of my chest where my heart is and the object of my meditation this morning was open your heart, open your heart, your heart's closing, stay open, stay open. And in that moment, I realized that what I was continuing to work with was the impulse to close down this weekend, that I was feeling in response to the fears. And so the naturally arising thought that came from that session in that moment was open, open, open, which very, very quickly turned into loving-kindness meditation for myself.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “Yeah, I do. Well, remember, I journaled before I meditate. So a lot of times I will be sitting down at the cushion. Going, this is what I'm working with. And I'll tell you what happened this morning in my meditation session. I was working with some really difficult feelings that came up over the weekend. And I was sitting in meditation. I had had a conversation with Sharon Salzburg yesterday and it was really helpful. And all of a sudden she came back in just as I sat down. I'm a very ritualized meditator, right? So I have candles, I have incense. I'm a former Catholic, so I like all of that ritual stuff. You know, if somebody could ring a bell, it makes me happy, right? So I'm doing all that stuff. I'm sitting on the cushion and all that's emerging.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “You really want to work with what's going on in that amygdala, which is where that source of anxiety tends to be, right, the amygdala. Ask it questions. What's the threat? What am I afraid of? Have I heard this before? Those questions fire off the prefrontal cortex, which can relieve the anxiety.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “To the migraines and to the anxiety, I gave voice to the feelings. And that didn't magically make them go away, but it lessened the power of that anxiety. It lessened the power of all of those feelings. So learning to speak, whether it's in my journal or actually learning to speak like an adult with another human being. Hey, that hurt me. Or, hey, I'm scared. That thing that you said last night scared me. And as a result, I want to do the thing that I would normally do, which is withdraw and cut off connection to you, but I'm going to stay here and be an adult and engage with you. That move, it doesn't make the anxiety go away, but it puts me back in control. It puts the adult me back in control. The other thing that I do is I start to ask the anxiety questions.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “I'll speak about the rage for a moment, the rage, and then turned into anxiety. It would often turn into anxiety, but it would equally as often turn into migraines. And that's when Dr. Sayas first taught me the first of those three questions, which is what am I not saying that needs to be said? And by linking speaking. To the rage.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “So, what I often say is remember you're not alone. And the second is that there are adults, men and women, who are on the other side of that gulf. And we're fine. And you'll be fine. And they have trod the path before you. And you're going to be okay. How many references to books have you made, Tim? Those are all written by people, you know, Tara's book was written just as much for herself as it was written for anyone else. You know, and all of those people, they're there. They're like ancestors guiding us through that period and saying, come on over, the water's fine. You're going to be okay. Don't be so scared.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “First thing I would say, and I would have said to myself, is that welcome to midlife, for sure. And I say this often now because I often can see the connection to what I was talking to the CEO of a very successful company who was just talking to him this morning. He's 39 years old. It's like everything's working. Why do I feel groundless? It's like, well, let's talk about that.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “Yeah Walked out. I remember starting to tell people. I told the woman who was my assistant at the time, she remains a very close friend. See, there's a pattern. Carrie Racklin. And I said, you know, Carrie, I'm not going to do it. I don't remember all of the details. It was so long ago. This is, you know, 17 years ago now. But I remember the feeling and the feeling was a combination of utter relief and absolute terror. both feelings simultaneous.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “In fact, we remain super close. But the fear was like, what was it going to do? And I didn't know. I had no idea. Thank you for bringing me back to that time because it's important for me to remember that. I'm feeling that right now.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “You know, because like just one last small thing before we go, I'm not going to be your partner anymore. And I said it at the beginning and I knew in my heart that he would still be my friend”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “So I went down to Canyon Ranch and I read these books Let Your Life Speak Holy I've actually not been listening to my life and I started to spend the next few months. It was the beginning of my meditation practice. First meditated a canyon ranch. And I would argue first began listening to my life, to my heart. And over the next few months up until November that year, I think we had dinner right around November 2nd or so. There's that number two again. I never noticed that pattern before. We had dinner, and I said to him, you know, it was like one of those moments, do I say it at the beginning of the dinner or do I say it at the end?”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “It was a dinner. It's like, Jeff, I need to have a dinner. I need to talk about this. Because the presumption everybody renewed their contract”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “And I remember saying, I can't do it. I just can't do it. And I think it was probably a few months after the Canyon Ranch visit. And I said, I'm not going to renew my contract the end of this year. He said, Well, what are you going to do? And I said, I don't know. But for the first time in my life, I'm going to be without a job, since the first time since I was about 13, and I'm going to be liberated from this definition. Remember, this notion of wearing somebody else's suit of clothes. It was incredibly scary. It was incredibly hard.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “And I think it had dropped like 700 points or something, which at the time was like a phenomenal number. Anyway, right around that time, I started having this, I just couldn't sleep. I was just not happy. I was 37, 38 years old. So in hindsight, I was clearly entering midlife and like the systems were collapsing all around me. And then I thought I couldn't go out and fundraise with Fred and raise a new venture capital fund for flatiron. And so I decided to leave the fund. But I decided to leave the fund and go to JP Morgan because I thought that the problem was changing the externalities. And so then I took a position starting January 1st, 2002. And as we were talking about before, by February, it was just not working. And I remember going in to see my boss at the time, a guy named Jeff Walker, who's vice chairman of the bank. He's still a very, very close friend.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “It was actually years in the making. I would have to go back to'99, 2000, right around that time period where if you recall the market crashed, the Nasdaq crashed, I forget the absolute numbers because they would be minuscule compared to the numbers we're dealing with now. But the market crashed around March 1999. And I remember it because I was on a family holiday to Washington, D.C. when Fred, I think texted me. said, did you see the Nasdaq?”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “What occurs to me is that the answer to both questions is the same, meaning probably the most consequential career choice that I made, the consequential saying no that I ever did was to walk away from the venture business and to stop being a professional investor. And the rest of my life unfolded. And I'm sitting here talking to you today. I mean, we might have been friends, Tim, had I taken that path. Who knows? But I'm sitting here talking to you about something that feels like the most profound fruition of who I am, my vocation, my belief systems, all of this, because I said no to the thing that I was actually really successful at, which is a mindfuck if you think about it. Because like if I was failing as an investor, you could sort of say, well, of course.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “That's right. And that recalls Carl Jung's notion of the shadow, which is the place he describes is the place we put the dismembered parts of ourselves. And this is really important. Not only do we put the parts of ourselves that society may say are obviously not good, let's say a rage-like anger. But also the parts are ourselves that are actually quite powerful, quite positive, and quite lovely. But because they threaten, say, our belongings. Have to actually be put in the shadow as well. Well, they too get really pissed off. And they too cause trouble. And so you might put into the shadow your intellect or your capabilities or your ability to write a book. And you might sit for two or three decades knowing that you want to write a book and not doing it because it might threaten you in some way or another.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “You do not fuck with hulks people. The problem was that Hulk was often dangerous and would often lead to something negative happening to me. So I would shut him up and I'd pretend that he's not there. And he would show up in all sorts of ways like really cleverly dissecting somebody's argument and being really wordy and verbose and shutting people down and all these awful behaviors. And what I had to do was radically accept that that guy, that big green guy exists in me for one reason only to keep myself and those who love me safe. And by loving Hulk I transformed him into Thor, whose just as strong, just as powerful, less likely to be out of control and motivated by justice. And much better hair, much better skin. So that radical acceptance, that accepting the fullness of ourselves, oh my God, it's so liberating, isn't it?”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “And one part of me that I learned to accept was the Hulk. Because the Hulk, when I was a kid, I remember this one time. I have a younger brother named John. In my mind's eye, he's still 10 years old, even though he's in his 50s. So, hey, John. Anyway, when I was a kid, we lived in a part of Brooklyn where called Bensonhurst, and we lived in the second floor of a two-family house. And I remember looking out the window. And one day this kid was throwing rocks over the fence at my brother John. And I went ballistic. And I ran downstairs and I grabbed this kid and I pulled him over the fence and I threw him on the floor and I pounded the crap out of his face. Because here's the thing, you do not fuck with my people.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “You know how before you were saying you take a breath because you wanted to jump in? I'm having all those same feelings. Yeah, so much here. First of all, shout out to Tara Brock for radical acceptance. What a brilliant book and what a gift she is as a teacher. Yes, yes, yes, on the acceptance. You know, you talked about anger being your default mechanism. For me, growing up with the violence that I experienced as a kid, rage was a major part of my childhood. But the challenge that I experienced was that anger, rage, was so dangerous that I actually turned it into anxiety all the time. And so actually, you can't see it because the video is off, but on my desk are two little action figures. One is Hulk and the other is Thor.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “To journaling for a moment by giving voice to those other voices, by giving airtime to those other voices, we get to lay out, in fact, all of the conflicts that exist within us. In Buddhism, we're taught that there are seven layers of consciousness. Seven. There's an observer observing, observing, observing, observing. There are all these layers of what's going on, right? And by taking the time in a good journaling session, you can allow, you don't even have to swap all these pens, you can allow dialogue. You can allow conflict. You can allow argument. And it's in that expression. A manifestation of that full acceptance that you were talking about before. Oh, wait, I can contain multitudes. Isn't that what Whitman said? Do I contradict myself? I do. I am large. I contain multitudes. Amen.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “Can help wanting that. So I mentioned before about maybe utilizing different pens to speak for the different parts of ourselves. Before I even go further, let me make this observation. I think it's super helpful for you, Tim, to speak openly about the ways in which there are different parts of you. You know, for those of us who are mildly curious about this space, that's an obvious fact. But they're still very much a point of view in the world that there's just one mind, that there's just one point of view, and all those other voices, we pretend aren't there. They're not part of ourselves. And you are absolutely right. When those voices are not given airtime, they get really pissed off. Really, really angry. And the energy that they hold is really important. And so if we go back.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “Which will then bring me back to some early memories, and I will start to be able to elucidate the patterns of my life. And that's really important because it's the patterns that actually point out where we have some struggles. Can I circle back to a point that you were making before about accepting the totality of what's going on? Because the journaling can help me in that.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “Well, I would never say that I would use the prompts like I'm going to use the same prompt every time. The one thing that I do consistently is right now I'm feeling. And then generally speaking, I might review the path 24 hours almost in a diary kind of fashion. So yesterday I woke up and then I also don't worry about explaining people. So I might say, and then I met with Mary Jane, and I don't have to explain who Mary Jane is because who cares? I'm never going to read it again and nobody is ever going to read it. I get rid of all that monkey mind bullshit chatter. And I just go right into it. And I presume that the journal knows all, sees all, has been there with me all along. That's an important point. Secondarily, I will ask myself many questions like, how long have I felt this way?”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “Between five and six. Almost without fail, usually without an alarm clock. So I'm really awful around nine o'clock at night. I'm a very boring person. I do not look at my phone. Let me say that again. I do not look at my phone. I do not look at my phone because it's just too painful. And with a cup of coffee, coffee, not coffee, as I say from Brooklyn. And then I journal, usually for an hour, and then I sit in meditation, usually for a half hour, sometimes 45 minutes. It sort of depends on how the day is going. And what's going on? But the entire period feels like one quiet meditative period. So that's me at my best.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “Two hours, and when I'm at my best, I wake, I clean up so I shower and stuff like that, and I have caffeine because you do not want to be around me without caffeine.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “And so, what we want to say at that moment is thanks a lot, buddy. I really appreciate it. But all those people who might be angry with me because I didn't respond to them or do the thing they wanted me to do, they actually don't really see me. And if they don't see me, they don't know that I'm doing the best that I can. So I'll blow them a kiss. I'll put them on the other side of that chain lane fence and I'll love them from afar.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “And shut the crow up. And that crow is a really interesting voice. That crow tells us all the things that we are doing wrong and the ways in which we are not enough. And that's the linkage back to what we were just talking about. This notion that we are not enough just by ourself, that's the fuel by which the crow is there. Now this is the move to make. to preserve your ability to be loved, to feel safe, and that you belong. What? It makes you feel like shit, though. Yes, it makes you feel like shit. But it's motivation is for you not to feel ashamed. And so the crow is doing you a favor. The crow is trying to keep you safe. The problem is the crow is so attentive and so vigilant that it's a little too active.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “I think it does fit. I think it does fit. So Marie was one of my professors in college. She taught poetry, but I also took a particular track in teaching writing. And so she was also my mentor. And she used to talk all the time about the crow who sits on your shoulder telling you what a piece of shit you are. That's a piece of shit. I can't believe you wrote that. It's like I hear that voice. And it sits on your shoulder and it tells you all the things that you have done wrong and all the things that are happening. And oftentimes in my journal, sometimes I'll take a second pen so that there are two different colors. I will allow the crow to speak. This is really important. This isn't a jiu-jitsu move because the mistake I think a lot of people make is they try to throw rocks at the crow.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “Of the guilty feelings that I might have. Where are they coming from? What are they doing? Was I kind? That sort of thing. And then I blow a kiss to myself Easy there, buddy boy, easy. This is all a journaling exercise. I'm just talking it out, and I remember something that's really important about that word guilt. Guilt is self focused. Remorse is about the other. Remorse is oh I hurt someone's feelings and I would like to not be hurtful. So I'm going to try not to be hurtful. Guilt is, oh my God, I can't believe this. I'm ruminating, ruminating, ruminating, ruminating. I find myself journaling in a ruminating kind of way. I try to bring attention to that. And that's the moment where I say easy boy. Easy. You're a good man who sometimes fails to live up to your aspirations. That's it. That's simple.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  39. “And what may be unusual is I never go back and reread because it's not about figuring shit out. It's about the experience. And so my general prompt, the thing I almost always start with is right now I'm feeling and I simply bring my attention to it. And so I might be feeling to talk about this very specific situation guilt. So for example, and I'll use this sort of mindful attention if I were to journal about our conversation, one of the things I might journal is about the guilt that I have felt over the years as to whether or not I was reaching out to you when you might be in trouble or if I was one of those folks who put you in an uncomfortable situation. And I bring that up not to elicit a response from you, but as an example of an exploration.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  40. “So, just for context, I have been journaling consistently since I was about 13 years old daily. And I'm 55, so a hell of a lot of journals. And again, to be consistent, and I think you do the same thing. I handwrite.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  41. “So, in those moments when we fail to understand and remember that those of those who love us won't mind, when we fail to remember that, it can be helpful to remember what I was saying before about I am enough and I'm doing the best that I can. Or as Dr. Sayers once taught me, not bad considering, not bad considering how rough you may have had it, not bad considering how hard your life is right now. You're okay, you're okay. And if I can say that to myself every day in one form or another? Bringing a kind of mindful attention to the points when I fail. With a kind of forgiveness to myself, well, then wow, okay, that can be helpful”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  42. “Well, the first thing I would say is that the practice that you just described embodying the Ted Geisel, Dr. Seuss quote, that is a practice. And the first thing to do is to remember that the thing about the word practice is that we actually never achieve. We're always moving towards. We're always going there. But oftentimes achieving it permanently sustained persistently, yeah, that's a tough one.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “Him if over time you lose some connection and you use this term several times to some high powered person Oh my goodness this high achieving person this high performer person There's no real great loss. Like think of the people that you have interviewed over the years, the people that maybe began in some powerful position and that have gone on to some powerful position. Oh my God, if I lose that connection that I once had to them, then somehow I'm at a loss. We take a breath. We breathe into that. The Buddha taught us one thing. You are basically good just as you are. Not because of the connections that you have maintained. And those people who love you and care about you and understand the essence are going to be fine even if you say, hey, I'm sorry, I actually can't maintain this connection.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “All bone side tree, and it could be anywhere from 10 years old to 300 years old. You have really no idea. And what I see is something that has been carefully pruned into a thing of beauty. And I think that that's our opportunity in life. Now, if we start with the supposition that we are never enough, that we are not good enough, and that we therefore not only, you said before, become addicted to busyness in order to make ourselves not feel the things that we don't want to feel. Remember that? Well, one of the things that we do is we maintain unhealthy relationships in order not to feel the things that we don't want to feel. Even when those unhealthy relationships make us feel other things we don't want to feel. Whereas if we start with the basic premise that we are enough just as we are and that there is no great loss to you,”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  45. “Or we can circle back to it separately. But here's the thing. If we start with a basic, basic, basic, basic premise, it goes like this. Am I a good person? Am I doing the best that I can? And if I can answer that question relatively straightforwardly and honestly, then I don't have to feel guilty because that's what we're talking about, right? That's the emotion that gets manipulated. I don't have to feel guilty saying to somebody, I don't have the space to do the thing that you would like me to do, which might include maintaining this contact. And there's an image that I often use, whether it's with a client or with my own self. And it's come to me as I've gotten older and I'm obsessed right now with myself being old. And the images of a boneside tree, which over its lifetime, you know, you can see this one foot tall.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  46. “Sure. Can we put aside just for a moment, co founder and board member? Are power dynamics there that are different than the Newmens that you've been talking about?”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  47. “And to basically love all of those people who are going to get unanswered from afar and be kind to them in your heart and recognize that on the whole, you're doing the best that you can, because you are. I wish I could give you like, here's the tool, you know, like NVC nonviolent communications has some brilliant tools, or here's the book that magically unlocks that. To me, the challenge isn't not having the tool. The challenge is in the meaning that we put into the situation that is the hardest thing to come over. And to recognize that you're okay, even if you're not necessarily being at your kindest or at your best. Because like you, like everybody else like me, we all get resources that are thin at times. My God. And so, you know, if you've not answered a text message from me, Tim, or if you've not answered an email from me, I am never, ever, ever going to think.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  48. “So here's a little tool that I have come up with that helps me is I often think of creating these little fences and I often visualize a chain link fence so that I can see through it. And it has a gate in it. And the gate only opens one way inward. And I get to control whether or not the gate opens. And so then I can see someone on the other side and then the phrase that comes up is love them from afar. Be kind to them in my heart set clear boundaries. I have as your friend, as your guide, as somebody hopefully is standing shoulder to shoulder with you is sort of in this crazy journey, I really feel for all the people who have reached out to you $620,000 in your inbox and all of that. Stuff. And I feel for you. And I would advise you to delete every one of those things.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. “Yeah. So all beings own their own karma, karma being the cause and effect, the consequences of their actions. Their happiness or unhappiness depend upon their actions, not my wishes for them, or the corollary to that is not the actions that I take or don't take. Now, they may say to you when they're reaching out to you, Tim, Tim, if you don't do this thing that I'm asking you to do, then I will be unhappy. And if I'm unhappy, I will be mean to you. I mean, that's essentially the existential threat.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. “And I can, but I can, but I really don't want. Yeah, that's a whole nother left hand, but I won't. And so then it becomes a little bit of like, listen, I'm trying to take my own advice to heart and the advice I give clients is to take care of themselves first. And so that becomes a kind of useful tool. But then you reference something before about not being responsible for someone else's feelings. And that brought to mind a teaching that Sharon Salzburg gave me, which goes like this. All beings own their own karma. Their happiness or unhappiness depend upon their actions, not my wishes for them.”

    2024-05-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #742: Tony Robbins and Jerry Colonna · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT