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Jim Jefferies

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2020-05-04
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2020-05-04
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  1. Well, there's several different stages to that. Now, the first stage is I didn't have a day job anymore. So I stopped working in the bars and I, you know, I was working in pubs and stuff when I first got there. I stopped working in bars. And then comedy was my full-time job. And that was maybe the best feeling I've had of anything ever, I think. That was the best one was when this is my job. And you got to the airport and you had to write down occupation in the form. And I got to write stand-up comedian. That felt, I still fucking get a little buzz out of doing that, man. I still stand up comedian.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. There's not that many sitcoms, there's just not enough channels to do that, you know, and in America, it's like that guy got a development doing what? How the fuck did this person get it? You know, so that, I think, breeds more jealousy and maybe less kindred spirits than the British one. I think I still have more friends in comedy in the UK than I do in England, in America, but coming to say that when I moved to America, I was already sort of established and I was older and I sort of just keep to myself to be honest. I like when I'm not doing comedy to just not think about comedy. And when I was younger, all I did was think about comedy. And what do I do? Jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes. And now I just sort of try not to watch anybody and try to keep to myself and try to be a good dad and all that type of stuff. And I think that just comes with age.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. The comedy clubs might just have your name written out the front, but they don't have posters around the club going next week, David Spade, next week, Kevin Nealand or whatever. You know what I mean? They don't have that. So people just went to comedy because they wanted to go see comedy. And the club might have a reputation for having the best acts or what have you. And another club might be have a reputation for having worse acts or maybe they pay less or whatever, you know. So the fact that no one was sort of getting paid more than anybody else and we were all sort of in the same boat. It didn't breed jealousy or competitiveness like it does over here. And also in America there seems to be Britain there's so few TV opportunities. You know, you might go on a panel show or something like that, but comics getting offered sitcom deals isn't really a thing.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. There's a bit of that. But you go down to, I don't know what it is now, but you go down to the comedy store in London in the early 2000s, £200 a gig for everybody. And you might do two shows there a night. 200 pounds will say like 300 American bucks or thereabouts. And that was a good income that you could live off. And each comic was getting the same price. So you didn't feel like why are they getting this? And I'm not getting this. And if you got famous. You got out of the comedy clubs and you went and did theaters. You never were famous and in comedy clubs.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. It was the optimism and also you were in it with a group of people who you all started out with and you were all supporting each other. And the British scene in my mind is less competitive than the American scene. And I attribute that to. In America, you play a comedy club and the comedy clubs decide who's getting paid what. And so there's a real you're worth this much, you're worth this much, you're worth this much, right? And so you'll have a headliner who might be being paid $10,000 for that show and you'll have a support actor who's literally getting 40 bucks. And that's still going on, right? And so there is a little bit of like when you're the person earning the $10,000, like, oh, don't worry, guys, I'll get the drinks. You know what I mean?

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. She's a nice enough girl, but that never happened. And I just kept going. And so what would happen is there was very few American comics in Britain. I feel like that's different now. I feel like the world of comedy is a lot more close. It was much more segregated where everyone was, you know. But all the Canadians and Australians and New Zealanders all hung out together and we all lived in these houses with like eight comics. It was probably, I would argue the happiest time in my life. I think that would be the happiest. And I was broke as fuck, but, you know, the rise is always better than the peak, man.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. And I think that sort of sums it up, right? You can get, and I think it's one year now, but back then you can get a two year work visa where you're allowed to go out and work. Now you're only meant to do menial jobs. You're meant to be bartenders and whatever. You're not allowed to further your career, you know? So if you walk in any bar in London, it's filled with Australian and New Zealand bartenders. So I had to do comedy on the sly, cash in hand until one of the management companies would give me a work permit. But I never became a British citizen or anything. I stayed there for 10 years and my visas would only ever last until my gigs ran out. No one booked you more than three months in advance. So every three months, I went into a panic like, all right, I guess it's all over. Now this is the end of the career. You're going back to Australia. And then I got another one. And then I got another one. And I just kept on staying. I had a girlfriend there for a bit that I thought I'd marry. And thank fuck, that didn't work out. You know, I look back on it now.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. Usual The UK has more comedy clubs per capita than anywhere in the world, far beating America. And also, it's just a great place to do comedy because it's so compact. And I remember before I moved here to America, I used to bitch and moan about, oh, I got to drive to Manchester, 200 mile drive. And I used to like, oh, better get a hotel room and stay the night and all that other stuff. In America, I'm on planes and flying and driving. You know, there's an old saying that Americans think 100 years is old and British people think 100 miles is far.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. Anyway, look, I'm not saying anything that's too bad. That company's gone bust now. They don't exist anymore, so they can't get angry at me for saying anything. Probably because of fucking me.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. Well, the company had insurance for such occasions. I'm sure we just bought him a new van. There was no way to fix it. You can't put a new support. It's not a panel beating job. We basically cut the roof off his car, you know? So I assume he got a new van out of it. So he probably did pretty good, you know. There was a couple of things like that. I saw a bloke get knocked out changing over I saw a guy. The new BMWs and the European cars had different colored wires and stuff like that. And he was trying to test the fucking land and the positive and the negative and the earth and all that type of stuff. And he's got his test out and he's laying in the front seat of the car and he touched the wrong wire and was the wire for the airbag and the airbag exploded into his head and he was knocked out and there was just fucking white dust in a bag.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. Support the roof of the car and the roof of the car just slanted down about 45 degrees, just sunk into the thing. And this guy came back to get his car and I just went, I go, well, the good news is the stereo sounds great. And they just having time, I've never felt more terrified in my life than having to walk this bloke down just to show him that we demolished his car in about an hour and a half.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. Panels off, cut the holes in, put the speakers in, put the panels back on. But this young fella just got the saw out and he just started cutting and it got a bit stiff. Anyway, he cut out one of the support beams, that support.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. This guy, this white van driver, a guy that you know works, plumber or whatever the fuck he was, you know, and he came in and he goes, oh, I want some speakers and a CD player. And I was like, all right. I knew which were the good CD players. I got him like a Sony CD player. And I said, this has enough amps in it that you can run some six by nine speakers. And I go, you just put them in the back here. That's a good sized speaker, a 6x9. And that'll be good. And then he goes, I can only get it today. And all the fitters were full. And so I said, I went down. There was a 16-year-old apprentice working down there. And I said, mate, this is an easy job. Just put the stereo in there. And then I don't know how to fucking do it. I said, and you run the wires along this door panel down here. And then just whack those speakers in the side there, just into the sidewall, and that'll work, right? Now, you're meant to take the...

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. Get out of working. I had found it. There were stairwells that I hid under and I did things that seemed like to get out of work that were more work than actually doing work. I had to sell car stereos and mobile phones. And it was, you know, I still to this day, if I was to sell a car stereo, I wouldn't know, I don't know how much amplifiers you need to run a subwoofer. And I sold them for years. And I have no idea. Why was a college? I work for this guy. And I used to just point at things and guess and go, look at the size of it and go, that'll do it. One time I totaled a guy's white van, like just totaled it just in a stereo fitting, which is very what happened was...

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. When they come to town. So the comedy clubs for the most part are empty, and Melbourne has one comedy club, Sydney, I think, has two. Perth has one. This isn't enough to sustain an industry. You know, a ground roots industry anyway. And so everybody's sort of like when you've made in Australia, you're the breakfast radio guy. If you can get that job. And that job in Australia pays really, really well. And so everyone's trying to get those jobs. So I think a lot of people who were good comics maybe had because no one was really full-time maybe had a good day job. I didn't have a good day job. I was earning, I was selling mobile phones during the day when I was a comic in Australia. So I fucking wasn't worried about leaving that at all. I was one of the worst employees a company had ever had. And I worked for a place called Stratford Car Radios. And I was just, if there was a way to...

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. Going to I think that's true, but it may be more ambition is the wrong way to say it. I think I was in a place in my life where I was young enough and had less connections that I could get up and do that, you know? I didn't have a girlfriend. I didn't have kids, you know, and I started pretty early in life at comedy. And a lot of people don't start till, you know, they're 30 or their late 20s or whatever like that. And then they have roots, you know, and I didn't have anything holding me back. So there were comics in Australia who were better than me. But I feel like maybe they couldn't get up and go. But also, when I say ambition, there's a difficult thing with Australian comedy because doing live work in Australia is very difficult because you don't have the population to sell tickets. People watch comedy in Australia, but they only go out and see the big...

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. I moved to England then. I know the day I moved to England because I was packing my suitcase at about 10 o'clock at night and I was all excited. It was going to be my first time travelling overseas. I'd never been, I know, tell a lie, I'd been to America once when I was 14, but it was my first time traveling overseas by myself without family members. And I was going on my big adventure by myself. I was getting on a plane. And I was packing me bags and the twin towers fell down. And that's how I can remember the date that I left for Britain the next day.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. It's just men, so they had to go no, no, no, we're not gay because they all dress like cowboys, just on this thing. No, we're not gay. There's a pair of tits over there, so we're all right, you know. And so I did these gigs and I thought, and I hadn't told my parents. That I'd quit university. I thought, you know, I thought I'll just keep doing this until I can be a full time comic. And then I think it's basically the storyline of the movie punchline that Tom Hanks character who said, oh, no, I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor. And then he said he'd tell his parents.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. Too good an opportunity. So I quit university and I went out to places like Kalgoulie and these little gold mining towns and I performed in these bars just to like Australian cowboys pretty much like guys and cowboy hats to live out in the land and they work in the mines and all that type of stuff. These towns had so many men working out there and so few women that in the bars in these towns the bartender would be a female and they'd ship them in and they'd call them skimpies and a skimpy and she would just be topless. Now this wasn't a strip bar. This was just a normal bar. All the bars have topless bartenders in all these little country towns. And the reason for that is if you take away the topless girl behind the bar, it's a gay bar. It's just.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. And I just went in and did a dance and singing audition and stuff. And I always still wanted to be a comic, but because I thought the comedy wouldn't work out, I still wanted to be an entertainer and a performer. So I thought, oh, this is another thing I can do. And it was also, I think for my mother at that stage, that was something that she was far happier to brag about that I was studying music in a prestigious college or something like that. But on maybe my second year into the course, there was a comedian called Gary Who was like this guy who'd been on Australian TV. I'm still, I still know Gary to this day. He's very nice, man. And he'd come over to do a gig in Perth and I was his opening act and we had a few drinks afterwards. We got along. I think he liked me more as a person than he liked me as a comic, but he said, do you want to come and do these mining town gigs? And I thought, ah, that's.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. But after that, I got into WAPO, which is the West Australian Academy of Performing Arts, and I studied musical theatre, and then I studied opera in the next year. And so I was a professional opera singer for a few weeks of my life, but it was never a full-blown thing. But I did this course. It was the same course that Hugh Jackman did. And it was like, it was a full scholarship ride. And I remember because I didn't have the marks in school to get into anything academic in university. And I don't believe I had the marks to actually get into this course, but they never checked for my high school certificate.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. The alternative, well, there's a weird thing that sort of, I think, for people who really know about me, and it's not many people, but there's a bit of a myth about me being an opera singer, which is vaguely true, right? What happened was when I was 17, I was in a school musical and then I was doing it right. And then someone said, I used to get some singing lessons and blah, blah, blah. And so I got some singing lessons with this guy called Richard Gill, who has since passed, and he was one of the main conductors for the Sydney Opera. And he got me, he got me a part in the chorus of Wagner's The Flying Dutchman. And I had to sing in German. I was like 17. And I just sang, I just, I just bought a CD of this opera and I just mimicked it, you know. And I wasn't that great a city.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. All the bars that were normally, this was a big party area of Perth. They were all, no one was going out because all the girls who got killed, the last thing that happened for them, they left the nightclub and got into a taxi or went looking for a taxi. And then they were never seen again. So that nightlife there just died. So there was all these like bars that were just empty. And so I went into one like, oh, can I have a gig? And they were just happy to have anyone in the building. And I used to get like 15 people, my mates, to come along to these shows. And it was like a really popular bar. But on a Friday night, I could have a gig there because of the killer. So, you know, silver lining to what happened there.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. I didn't do it. Yeah, I waited another three years. I used to think it was more than that, but I was in college and I used to run my own comedy night and I remember there was a, I was in Perth when I started doing that. So a lot of people think I'm from Perth because of this because I really started doing comedy in Perth. But the way that a lot of people get stage time is what you do is you find them and you put your own shows on, you book your own comedians, and that way you can MC and you can get better by, you know, because I couldn't get gigs. So I thought I'd run my own gig. And there was this area in Perth called Claremont. And Claremont had a serial killer at the time. Had the Claremont killer, right? So what happened? I don't think they ever caught him. I don't know. But maybe they did catch him, I don't know. But when I was there, the guy called the Claremont Killer. And what happened was with the Claremont Killer.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. And I got back on, and the only other people in the audience, because it was raining, were the other comedians waiting to go on. And there was the full range of people who were getting good at it, people who were never going to get good at it, and people who were there first go and people have been trying for years. Anyway, I couldn't have had a worse gig. I couldn't have died. And I got in the car with my dad afterwards, and my dad said, he goes, oh, you're a good kid and you've got a lot of good qualities, but this isn't for you. And my heart sank. And then I went and did it one more time just to see, because that first time went so well. And then I did it again and I died again. And I went, all right, this isn't for me. And then I didn't go up again until I was 20.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. I wanted to be a comedian from the age of about 13, 14, you know, and then I did it three times when I was 17. And one time I did it and it went really well and was the comedy store in Sydney. And you have to go down there and they put your name in a hat and they pull your name out. And I had five minutes and it was just all about being in school or whatever. I can't remember what I talked about. Then they said, oh, you're not 18, are you? And I was like, no. And they go, you have to come back with a parent. And so I hadn't told my parents. And my parents as well, I hadn't even told them that I went into the city. Like, I wasn't allowed to go into the city. You know, I lived out in the suburbs and I told them I went to a mate's house or something. So I traveled into the city. So next time, dad had to come with me. I remember it was like bucketing down with rain. And I went out there.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. Prepared for the currents. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mind you, when I was a kid, that happened to me a few times when you swim out a bit far and then you start drifting off and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm going to die. I did that thing where I waved and then like someone has to come out the little boat and come and get you. And you're like, sorry about that. I swam a bit far, you know? To this day, I don't go far out in the ocean.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. We always had fluorescent zinc on our noses as kids in the 80s, and now they still just put the white stuff. But that was how you sort of showed how your personality, whether you had pink or green or fluoro yellow or whatever like that. But I like to look at like Bondi Beach and just watch the British people who have never seen Sun just like, and you know they've been there for a week going, go on there, lay out, enjoy yourself. They're all just getting burnt the fuck. Yeah, I love watching the British get burnt in Australia

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. You can't go out of the classroom if you're not wearing a hat, and the hat will have like one of those things down the back. So it covers your neck as well. It's a good look.

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  30. Yeah, oz Yeah, people don't know that there's two holes in the ozone layer, and one's over, I think the north pole, I think, or it might be the south, and the other hole's over Australia. And Australia, when you watch like, okay, so when you watch the weather here in America, it'll go and the temperature is going to be this, the humidity is going to be this, and there's some winds coming in from over here. But you never get the daily UV rating. We're in Australia, they go, and it's 100% UV today. And it's like 100% is like normal thing. So it's like, it's like, you don't even really think about skin cancer that much in America. Like, you know what happens and you have to be wary of it. And if you have a mole, you get it checked. And that sort of stuff. But skin cancer, if it's not number one, it's very close to the number one cancer in Australia. And so we had a slogan when I was a kid called slip, slop, slap. And it was slip on a shirt, slap on sunscreen, and slap on a hat. And that's what you have to do if you want to go outdoors.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. He goes, Does it kill him? He goes, Oh, no, just gives him a bit of a scare. If it hit one of them in the eye, you know, why were you in Sydney for so long? Were you just backpacking or?

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  32. Has okay, my father's like, he's like this guy, he's at one with animals for whatever reason. And he has this like veranda, he opens up the doors and each day these two rainbow loriquetes come and visit my father and they fly in the window and they just sit on his shoulders. Now cockatoos look very exotic here in America, but they're everywhere in Australia. They're not endangered at all. They're all over. My dad thinks they're a pest, right? And he goes, there's a cockatoo that bothers those two rainbow loriketes. So my father keeps a slingshot and some rocks by the side of his chair. And he shoots the cockatoos and they come over. And my friend, my American friend who co-hosts my podcast with me, Forrest, was there and he goes,

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. Yeah, yeah, no, I've met them in my day. Oh, yeah, I'm enjoying that. Keep doing it. Oh, yeah, that feels good. Yeah, no, no. The worst accent for sex in the world is the Australian female. But what bird are you talking about?

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. He's a very nice man. It was the Farrest brothers. They all went to the, there was my school and then there was the school next to us and we had a rivalry with them. And our school was like, oh, we beat you in rugby. And they're like, we had in excess. And we were like, ah, you win. Yeah, like the most famous person to come from my school, I think, is me. You know what I mean? We haven't got a great track record. So hello to all the people at Sir Nives High in Sydney. That's where I went. But yeah, we had me, I think a couple of people who got like bronze in the Olympics and some relief pitcher for the Angels back in the 90s.

    2020-05-04 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #428: Jim Jefferies on Comedy, Life Lessons, and the Magic of Filling Out Customs Forms · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. I was performing at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney and Tim Farris came backstage at my gig and I was like, I was a kid from Australia, very excited to meet the guitarist from NXS. And I think he wrote most of the songs as well, you know. And when I saw him, he just had like his finger had fallen off. Like it'd been like, I think it was a boating accident or something. His finger had been ripped off. And I was like, wow. So he goes, yeah, that's the end of in excess. I can't really play guitar anymore because I can't, you know, play the chords because I don't have this finger anymore. And I went, that's a shame. And so, you know, I said to him, I said, so it turns out your finger was more vital than Michael Hutchins because, you know, in excess, I think I had three new singers and they kept going. But you lose Tim Farris' finger and they can't play anymore.

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