YouSaid · the spoken record

Kathy Griffin

lines on the record: 90
first: 2019-03-13
most recent: 2019-03-13
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“I can. All right, so he raped his way out of the business. I have no sympathy. So anyway, and they're all like that. They're all rapey and they're all gross and they're all behind the times and all that shit. So I would be trying to express like, well, if the big boss doesn't want to give me the time of day, can you at least give him the stats for my tour? My tour grows $4.4 million worldwide. And, you know, I've probably made about $75 million over my career. And I did a, a friend of mine did a little experiment, which is he called the head of one of the biggest free agencies in Hollywood and said, what if I could bring you, no, his first question was, he said, hey, would you like to take on Kathy Griffin? And this owner who I've known for a million years said, oh, Kathy Griffin, that is a life too short situation. So the same friend called the same agent a month later and said, what if I could bring you an actor I know and this guy has made $75 million over his career?”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, when it got to the check signers, and this is another important point, there's kind of a couple misleading things I want to clear up. One of them is women do have more power in show business, but to this day, there's not one female that can actually sign a check. So as much power as Shonda Rhimes has, she still has to kick it up to the old white dinosaur to get a show greenlit. So there are still, I call them the six old white dinosaurs. One of them used to be Leslie Moonvez, but he's gone.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, yeah. And honestly, the reason I even made it is at first I thought even my lawyers were saying, you should document this story because it is historic. And even if it sits on the shelf for 10 years or something like that. So I wanted to just do that. And then when no one from any of the TV or streaming services, we even talked to me or looked at me.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A disconnect, which is the fans were coming out really around the world, and so I'm now global, if nothing else. They all know me.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, yeah, there was like a GoFundMe for some guy that they flew into one of my Philadelphia shows where I sold out the first one, had to add a double hey. And he was like a QA guy or whatever. And so he was in the second row. And he starts yelling that I'm a pedophile. And by the way, you'll have to walk me through how the trumpers then turned into calling like Tom Hanks a pedophile and Sarah Silverman is a pedophile now, not true. So he started yelling that I was a pedophile. And then I got it down to a system where my tour manager and I have a security meeting personally with every gig that I do. And I really wanted to play what I call the Great Halls because I thought this material wouldn't work in 500 cedars. So here I play the Long Center, which is amazing. And in New York, I played Radio City in Carnegie. And sold out Carnegie in 24 hours. And very proud of that. So I know, right? So I thought there is a story that people want to hear.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I am, and on the other hand, it's been so much of a deluge. I had incidents at almost every show on the American leg of my tour”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They came over, and I was used to them saying, look out for this or that. So they said that the MAGA bomber had, he was already in custody, and they said that he had shared his list with like-minded people. And I said, okay. And I said, can you tell me how many? And they said, no. And I said, so you can't tell me who? And they said no. And then they suggested that I open my mailbox standing 10 feet away from it. The Essene on TV, old lady, right? But I'd have to get like two of them. So now I just stand in front of it and I go, kaboom, and I just open it myself.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm a big fan of the FBI. Let me tell you, they protected me and they did a fantastic job. So they would call me if the threat was like, eh, a little. Thank you. They're a government agency. Yes I'm not anti-government. I'm not one of those at all. I think government is necessary and regulations are good. Anyway, if you get a phone call, if the lawyer gets a phone call, it's like kind of a threat. When they would call me personally, it was jacked up a little bit. And then, as I said in the tape on there, ironically, the day I filmed the movie, the FBI did a known, which means they feel the threat is imminent. And so, you know, I was sleeping in that day because I had a performance that night and I was in my PJs. And every time the FBI comes over, they never laugh at this joke. I go, Norm! Like on cheers, like, you know, for everybody knows your name. All right, so.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Those are real people that really think I'm an ISIS because it's so believable. And they would say, once again, their favorite method is they would say, I want to shoot you in the cunt, cut your head off, and then stuff your head up your cunt. And that was like the theme, you know, and these are like probably like 70 year old straight guys and stuff. Not exactly my demo. So they enjoy the old timey mail and some of them would do like stickers and put like a lot of would draw me without a head and shit. So that went on. And then the FBI started calling me. And they have like three levels of now.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Into this wood chipper where the bots. The bots start working. The bots start. And that, you know, I didn't even know how that apparatus worked. So I was getting, my timeline is to this day flooded with like ISIS lady be bad. And I had to learn what bots were and then there was sort of debate over, no, no, you're just trying to make it better. These are real people. And then I started getting old timey mail because a lot of...”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's Hollywood Trouble. That's when your agents go, oh, what were you thinking? But, you know, when you get the lawyer saying, we've already opened investigation, I didn't have an opportunity to even clear my name or say, you know, it was a statement. And as you guys know, there's a long history of comedians doing this sort of thing. And I thought, I didn't know that the shooter was going to give it to TMZ. I thought he was going to send it to like Durspiegel or Charlie Hebdo or something or paper magazine. So once it's on TMZ, then it's on all their ancillary show.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hollywood trouble is when I won my first enemy. I got a lot of those now. When I won my first Emmy, and I wanted to do a speech that was funny because, you know, I think it's funny when people think Jesus for awards. And so I won my first Emmy and I said, you know, I just want to say Jesus had nothing to do this. Suck at Jesus. This award is my God now. Some like religious groups took out full page ads in USA today.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, they allegedly. I mean, they were harmless, but like I talked to Peter Fonda and he said he just had like a 10 minute phone call with the Secret Service and that was it. And I don't know Johnny Depp was just mysteriously photographed with his Make-A-Wish kid four days later. And he looked hammered even during the picture. I'm not gonna lie. But, you know, he had the whole team from Pirates of the Caribbean come in and make sure he could, you know, be up and working. So I think in a way, I was the perfect target for him.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, well, she did the White House correspondence dinner, which I attended by the way, and she was hilarious. So that was like match slap and his beard wife making that bullshit up. And that one, you know, can you imagine fucking match slap while he looks at Channing Tatum on a video? Anyway, no, he's super straight. He loves vagina. All right, so, you know, that's the crowd Trump runs with. So fuck him. But I actually was at the White House Correspondence Center. Michelle did really well. And I saw Matt and his wife Mercedes Levy and they started tweeting that the whole room, this mass exodus. And that just wasn't true. So now that it's happened to me, I'm determined that...”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What they were considering took two months to consider whether or not to charge me with conspiracy to assassinate the president of the United States. Which holds the lifetime sentence. So, prior to my interrogation, my lawyer said, you know, it wasn't a situation where if I fuck up, he could go, I need a moment with my client. You know, it wasn't like that. And so he said, I'll never forget him saying, I love you, kid, but you fuck up and you're leaving cuffs. So it was a very serious matter and we had practiced and done murder rooms and all that stuff.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I have a very good, I got bloomed by that piece of shit, Lisa Bloom. So I had a disastrous press conference and she's horrible. And I'm also allowed to say that because it's only my opinion. She is bad and a fake feminist. All right, so then I had to call my actual First Amendment attorney, who I've been with for years, who actually was at a funeral and didn't pick up his phone that day. So that's kind of how I went down the so I got bloomed. But his name is Alan Eisman, and he won the landmark Supreme Court case, Jerry Falwell v. Hustler magazine. So my theory has been, if you can get Larry Flint off, you can handle me. And he did a very good job and he was very effective because the DOJ called his office every single day. Is she coming in? Is she coming in today? Is she coming in? And I just thought that sounded far and above what they would typically do, certainly to a comedian. And so he had to negotiate that I wouldn't go downtown into the purple walk, but I was interrogated under oath in his office.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You went out with a girlfriend of mine and he parked outside her house for four fucking days. Right? That guy's going to send you to Mars in four years. Don't count on it He said that he said space in four years. Do you know how much oxygen? 0.1%. Right.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He's not a God. Calm down. And you know, Elon Musk is crazy too. So don't be falling into that fucking cult. Elon Musk. That fucking guy's nuts.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I have a lot of respect for him and his girlfriend. So the reason that I tell the story is it is in fact historic. So I did a lot of research on this because I didn't want to be spouting off, but I am actually the first person that has had a sitting United States president use the full power of the oval, the first family, the Department of Justice, and the entire right-wing media to try to ruin a private citizen. And I happen to think being a 58-year-old female comedian with a big mouth and everything antithetical to what he believes in is why he sort of chose me. And I also didn't have an infrastructure in place to really protect me. So it's been a long slog.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not used to someone saying, I don't want to go see this ISIS member do comedy. So I later found out they were all robocalls, which was like devastating to me. So when I talk about the Trump wood chipper, I've just learned so much. And I have a weird feeling I might show up in some of that David Pecker stuff because now that AMI has, you know, okay and life and style and all right. I wouldn't be surprised if there was like an email from Don Jr. saying, you know, Don Jr. said on Good Morning America, our family doesn't just want to ruin Kathy Griffin's career. We want to decimate her. Right. And he's Eddie Munster from the show The Munsters.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They range from, well, the most popular one was we want to cut your head off, we want to stuff it up your pussy and then cut you in the middle. Like that was their most popular way of wanting to kill me. And it was graphic. And so the way the tour got canceled was people started calling these theaters and I really don't believe in them. And put a death press in theater owners because when you're normally doing mama Mia or Blue Man group.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But that's my role now. Like, I have to know all this shit. I had to learn all the Nazis. Now I know all the fucking Nazis, the proud boys, they all come at me. And some guy named Charlie Kirk who's got like fans that are like cult members. And it's, you know, and they don't play. So online, the death threats were immediate. But then...”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I worked at the gift shop for a week You know, first of all, they get up too early. No, they're on those jungle bars at like 6 a.m. That is not my gig. And so, by the way, it's taken me a long time to even be able to make that joke because I've had so many people confront me on the street and they're convinced I'm in ISIS and I'm tying me in with pedophiles and something QAnon. Yeah, okay. Am I Q? Are you Q? Who's All right. There's not really a few, right?”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and also everybody felt the need to make a grand statement. Right. So CNN was first in line. And they actually on the table said, CNN fires ISIS member Kathy Griffin for the New Year's He broadcast.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So in the 24 hours, the idea was that you were inciting violence, suggesting assassination. 24 hours happened suddenly all the virality went into it so you were canceled by the internet like Essentially”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That hurt. So Hillary Clinton, who I worship, she puts in her audiobook. She goes, and all the fuss about Kathy Griffin, it was obviously a send-up of Perseus and Medusa, which I've never heard of. I just need you guys to back me up when in the other interviews I go it was a send up of Perseus and Medusa. Is that like a Greek story? Yes. Sounds great. Does somebody's head get cut off?”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I have never been more in love with Gilbert in my life because Trump just, it was just that wah, wah, wah, the Charlie Brown teacher, and he kept saying non-sequitorial shit that made no sense. And I knew he was stupid, but I didn't know he was like Brittany Spears stupid, like happy to be stupid. Oh, Brittany's like fine with it. And so the reason I wanted to do something really dramatic with the photo is truly, I mean, I remember watching every day of the Watergate hearings and I truly never thought in my lifetime anything like this could happen. And now I believe it's worse.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“King, who was like, it was like his 120th birthday party, I think. And so there was a Dais, and as you know, the thing that's weird about a Dais is the audience is watching you eat dinner prior to the little roasts. And I was in between the Donald and Gilbert Godfried.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And anyway, he comes up and he's like, uh oh, there she is. So many don't make any jokes about the hair like, you know, so of course I made as many jokes as I could, but I did touch his hair though that day and he didn't feel it which I thought was incredible like I touched it and he had no reaction to it so I did it a second time and he still didn't even feel it so it's like a shellac sculpture Billy Ray Cyrus meets comb over So believe it or not when I knew him during like the NBC days I don't mean to defend Hollywood, but honestly nobody took him seriously. I mean I would see him just on roundabouts if I was promoting my life on the D list or one of my specials and he'd be doing the apprentice or I'd see him around New York in some way and he would show up at the opening of an envelope and so I had actually spent there was an envelope opening one time no, but I had actually spent quite a bit of time with him one time there was a roast for Larry”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, I just, you know, well, first of all, like a typical bully, when I saw him at that Facocta golf course that we're all banned for Bedminster, whatever it's called. And the only reason I did it is because Liza was going to sing and you can't leave Liza alone with Donald Trump. It's not safe. And so, and she was on her happy pills that day. So I just wanted to keep an eye on her. And so when Trump approached me, like every other bully, he had hired me to roast him and he comes toward me with the fucking gun hanging out and his balls are out filling out his like, you know, pleats. He's so gross.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because it's him, right? And I think the reason I did something. The reason I did something so extreme with him is, first of all, you know, I've known this moron for like 25 years. One time he hired me to roast him. So he acts like he doesn't know my shtick. He does.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Before I posted it, I'm not stupid. I work in the First Amendment, it's my commodity, and my lawyers, rightly so, said, yeah, it's well within the bounds of the First Amendment. So A, I didn't break the law. B, I didn't violate the First Amendment. So I didn't know what they had in mind, but the investigation”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That apparatus ready to go. Like, you know, Trump's. You called it a wood chipper. I called it the wood chipper because it's really no different than what they did to like little Marco and Lion Ted and stuff. But I was sort of the first celebrity. The reason I, well, Rosie O'Donnell, right? The name. Yes, right. But she didn't have to go under a federal investigation by two federal agencies. So what happened was the next day I got a call from my attorney and he said the Secret Service has opened an open file on you and the U.S. Attorney's Office. The part that I want to tell people, because I want people to know their rights, and there's a lot of mythology about what they can and can't do, but they wanted me to go downtown to the jail downtown in a jumpsuit and cuffs, and they wanted video of a perp walk. So over my dead body would that happen? Because by the way, I did show that photo to my lord.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like that, and there were the Al Qaeda beheadings or anything like that. You weren't, no, but I will tell you, I did a tragic apology video, which I still kept up, because my good pal Rosie O'Donnell, who is the preeminent expert at being trolled by Donald Trump, he's been after her for like 13 years, and she called me and she said, what if Daniel Pearl's mother saw this? And that's why I did the apology video when then all my comedian friends called me and they said, why'd you apologize? So I just want to be clear, everyone turned on me left, right, and center, you know, the right wing had a field day and they still are. Like I'm in that photo is in the new NRA ad. It's in the new national GOP ad. It was in several local GOP races during the midterms. It's been manipulated. It shows up at every rally. People make a lot of more Trumps holding my head, stuff like that. More than viral is not something I could have seen because I wasn't aware they had”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which I'm not a surgeon, but I don't think that's feasible. Bet he would then go back to work. So it spread like wildfire, and I love that the whole AMI flipping. So all those other publications picked it up very, very rapidly. You were in ISIS, that you were in ISIS. Go back to making it. So it was just a lark. This was like, you didn't think it was possibly tasteless. You weren't worried that he was actually president and there have been threats.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I say open the fucking vault. All right, I got nothing to hide. So I'm not afraid of those guys anymore, but I will say in my business, people think TMZ is the news. Like they pretty much they get the post. And so the Washington one. All right. So the Denver Post. But anyway, so it started with the photo and I believe you were taking it just to, did you think at all that there was any possibility? Yes, for a minute. I thought this will be on like a gay blog for two days. I really thought it was, you know, I was clearly, you know, I actually purposely did a stoic look on my face because normally I'm very animated. I purposely wore like this high collar thing. And, you know, I was holding up a Halloween mask. By the way, if it had been like a full body dummy, that probably would have been fine. And so then Harvey Levin started with the, Kathy Griffin has joined ISIS and severed the president's head.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it was one of my styrofoam wig heads because the mask kept folding like his balls, I assume. And they're dragging on the floor. He trips on them every morning. But anyway, sorry, we'll stay on topic. Thank you for that vision, though, but keep go ahead. Oh, God. Poor Stormy. Can you imagine? Yeah. What she's seen. Anyway, so took the photo to be subversive, I'd say more than funny. Look, if people think it's a joke and it makes them laugh, that's fine. But I kind of felt like it was a little more of a, just like a middle finger. So what happened was took the photo and I was so naive that the photographer, for some reason, gave it to TMZ. So if you guys don't know this, TMZ is a guilty pleasure blog run by a self-loathing gay man named Harvey Levin. And his big gig is that he has a fucking vault and everybody in Hollywood is scared of him.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Little silly things like that. And I've done it before. I'll just take some wacky pictures, put them up on my social media, and try to make you guys laugh. So back day I worked with a shooter named Tyler Shields, and he had taken some other photos of me before that were good. He's a good shooter, but I'm a little pissed at him because he won't give me the copyright. And that picture changed my life irrevocably. But, you know, he came over with just him and a couple of bros. And, you know, I thought the very last photo, we had taken a bunch of silly ones, which never saw the light of day. And the very last photo, we did collaborate and say, let's do a photo that shames Trump in some way. And, you know, I did it in response to, even though I can't stand Megan Kelly, but I also didn't like when Trump said there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever. So the inspiration was as deep as this. See if you can handle it. I just thought, all right, let's see how he likes it when there's blood coming out of his wherever. And so it was a Halloween mask.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your headliner, your headliner, Kara Swisher is here. Sit down. All right, I've just started with my funnies. All right, listen, we have a lot to talk about. We were just talking about no shit. I don't know where to begin. Why don't you explain the photo? Okay. Talk about the photo. So one of the things I'm very open about is I'm 58 years old and proud of it. 58. Look at this body. Look at me. I'm a role model. All right, so, you know, I've been canned from Bravo because the piece of shit Andy Cohen with his no talent. And so, no, if you can name a skill set, I'm all ears. All right, okay. I thought so. All right, so, but, you know, I've been dealing with ageism in my industry for a long time. And, you know, since I was about 40, they've been trying to put me out to pasture. And, you know, I don't have like a big, you know, Lauren Michaels type or a Judd Appetow type to have my back or a studio or, you know, anything. So sometimes when you're out of work, you'll do.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hi, I'm Kara Swisher, the editor-at-large of Recode. You may know me as Kathy Griffin's new BFF since Anderson Cooper was so mean to her. But in my spare time I talk tech and you're listening to Reco Decode from the Vox Media Podcast Network. Today we're going to play a live interview I recently did with comedian Kathy Griffin. She's just released her first stand-up special since the notorious photo shoot in 2017. The new special is called Kathy Griffin, a hell of a story. We spoke at the South by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas. Let's take a listen.”
2019-03-13 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: Kathy Griffin · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT