YouSaid · the spoken record

Laura Berman

lines on the record: 42
first: 2022-11-15
most recent: 2022-11-15
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Do we, honey? I think we do. I work very hard on it, but he sometimes tells me not so much about sex but about the relationship stuff. How come you don't practice what you preach more? That's why we have a good sex life.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, no, it's a mind shift that you have to make because our instinct and our belief in the way we've been socialized is that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously. But in most of our lives, our crazy, busy, kid-ridden, mortgage-ridden lives, if you wait for it to happen spontaneously, it's not going to ever happen. So if you can make that mind shift and schedule it and embrace the scheduling and get excited about it and flirt with each other and put a little extra care into your attention to each other, have you guys been doing that on your sex state days? It's four play will start in the morning on those days when they both know they're going to get busy later on. Yeah, it works.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, that was part of their homework is to really schedule that quality time for them as individuals, which especially Linda never took, that quality time for the two of them as a couple, and the sex time had to be scheduled in their crazy schedules.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And they often, so the second I give a couple permission to have sex, I know in the back of my mind they're going to do something to sabotage it. They had an argument. So they had an argument. But what was so cool, and I was so proud of them, is we'd spent so much time in therapy together giving them the tools to communicate because they never communicated. So how do you deal with it when you're angry? How do you talk to each other? How do you share your feelings in a non-threatening way and hear each other? And so what was so cool is that they used those tools, which they had never used before and never been able to successfully argue before and get through to the other side and feel closer to each other, which is the whole point. Arguing isn't bad. You've got to be able to argue in a way that's good for your relationship.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's fun. Who knew, right? For Dick and I to come to a store like this, it's definitely a big step for us to take a look at what can we be doing and increasing that focus once again on the enjoyment and pleasure of the other person.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Can see there's all sorts of outfits and devices and aids to enhance your sex life in there. Okay, so here we are. Don't get too overwhelmed right away. It's nice, huh? Here's a ton of lubricants. Here's some booby tassels.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It made us feel connected, and you know what? You can have a really good time here without your kids. I didn't know that. That was new. And it was a lot of fun.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Life has gotten really serious. There's been sort of this tension. So the idea is to kind of bring you here to a place where we can let your silly out a little bit, where you can have some fun together. And the other benefit is that when you try something novel, fun, a little bit adventurous, it actually stimulates the dopamine centers of your brain, which is the reward center of your brain. It's also the part of your brain that lights up when you're in a brand new relationship, when you're in that initial stage where you can't get enough of each other. And so one way to naturally stimulate that is by doing novel kind of fun, exciting, adventurous things together.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Body is really relaxing and I'm also realizing where I have tightness that I need to work on that I'm carrying with me every day and it's not helping me. I'm just going to have you let out a big yell so anything that's been going on lately, anything that's been going on in the last 10 years now is the time to really let it go. I want to hear it. Great. So we just did tantric yoga, and it is awesome.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Tantric yoga is the yogic version of sex. Having them reconnect with themselves and then reconnect with each other. I think that they both carry a lot of tension in their bodies and so what I'd like them to do is relax so with all their energy flows they'll have more access to their sexual powers. Good. And then just look at your partner. Gaze into your partner's eyes. Ideally, what they'll be able to do is to see each other in the now, they'll be able to forget about. It's a lot about bringing your sexual relationship to the next level, making it more soulful, making it more spiritual, making it more intense, making it more communicative.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I am going to send you on your first field trip. So, my plan is for you to go to what's called tantric yoga. They're going to start learning how to kind of nonverbally support each other, connect more, and learn some techniques that they can use at home for getting on the same page.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, for them, they had had no physical connection at all. So I just wanted to get them touching again. So I assigned them a sensual touching exercise where they had to get naked, you know, they had to spend like 10 to 15 minutes on each of each of them on the other. No genital touching, no breast touching, not about arousal, just about sensuality and touch”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, so big thing that she'd been carrying around for a long time, and Doug had no idea. So, you know, part of that, that was a big piece of what caused her to shut down emotionally, what shut down all of her emotions, and then that also helped to shut down her sexuality. And so both of those things combined left Doug wondering what's going on. And that really, I think, was a big part of their rift.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's a horrible, horrible thing to go through, and even more horrible that you never were able to tell anyone. So how does it feel saying it now?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Was there anyone or any time that you were ever touched in a way you didn't want to be touched or made to have sex when you didn't want to?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Really? And you get used to it. I mean, there are waves of moments where you're feeling horrible and depressed and angry about it, but for the most part, they just got used to it.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They sit next to each other, but it's almost like there's this invisible physical wall between them. You don't see them touch. You don't see them put his arm around the back of her chair. There's no physical connection happening.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Very nice. Let's just chat a little bit here. Okay. Okay, take a seat. Let's talk. It's been a while as I understand it since you've used this bedroom for sex, right? So Linda, how long has it been?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Lots of foreplay, so it was not just the kissing. He was able to kiss lots of places. Which he'd never been able to kiss. I mean, he hadn't been able to put his lips anywhere near her for. And I was able to just relax and enjoy the feeling of that without the pressure, without all of the associations that I had, without the negative feelings.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“A sexual being. And a sexual being. And that doesn't mean that I don't love my children and it doesn't mean that I'm not going to be there for them. And just the physical release of control. Me felt so empowering that I was able to let go.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I stopped seeing things through the eyes of my children. I think I finally realized that I am allowed to be Shana outside of mother.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Because when they had such a dysfunctional pattern of sex, it was about bartering. They were basically having sex but not really physically or emotionally together. And when a couple has a dysfunctional way of having sex, I like to take sex out of the equation and rebuild it from the ground up so they can create a new connection. And then when they have sex again, it's a totally different experience. I wasn't, I mean, like I said, I was going to be happy if they kissed. So I was surprised that there was that much of a release and an opening in Shane that she was able to really go there and cheat on her homework.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“But I wanted to, I'm feeling happy for the first time in forever, and I just really want to live in this moment. You may find a little bit of slippage once you go back to your usual routine and your usual life, but you've gotten a flavor of it. And I knew that once you got the momentum going, you know, once you open this up, all the pieces were in place. But I'm thrilled that it happened so quickly for you. That's great.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Homework last night went really well. There's probably a few surprises for Dr. Berman as well, but we'll get to those later. Why are you smiling?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“When I let go, it felt like it literally felt like a spiritual awakening Had not been able to let go for so long and physically letting go, I was able to see what was on the other side. And it felt like freedom.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Shana's case, she literally She let go of the controls Put her trust in Dan Didn't let her fall, and she actually That is huge All their problems aren't solved.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“When people are stuck emotionally, we obviously try to help them through talking, but I found it can be so powerful to find a physical representation of what they're going through. And actually doing that physical representation. They're trying to do psychologically makes that connection.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's funny because I used to even, I mean, I was so afraid to look at it, but now I did it so I can look at it. It's just a wall. It's just a wall. It's just a wall. So that's what I want you to keep coming back to, right? And just like a wall is just a wall now, a kiss is just a kiss. I didn't geek out with him, but I kissed him because I'm like, I wanted to. I'm like, this is something we did. This is so cool.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It feels so good right now. Words can't express it. I feel free and not worried and just really proud of myself for something that I did. Something I thought I couldn't do.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“About my kids, and then I felt disgusted, and I couldn't even lift my face up to his. What we figured out is that she actually enjoys kissing what she didn't like was getting turned on because her story was that if I have a sexual connection with my husband, if I'm turned on with him by him, then my children are going to lose me because that's what happened to her with her mom. And so because the way she soothes herself is to immediately go to thinking about her kids, here she is thinking about her kids and trying to kiss at the same time. And for her in particular, that ain't going to work.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And when I felt out of control. I started to, the way I soothe myself is I try to find things that I can control. So the only thing I can control is being a good mom, because that's the story in my mind of who I am, that makes up who I am. And that's where I feel safe. That's why I started.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Holding me, and right away I started to feel pressure because I felt out of control. I had this flood of emotion. I started to think about all the things riding on this moment.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I don't know if I should try to just fake my way until it works. I guess that's the part that I don't understand. I guess I want to get better, but I don't want to do it if it makes me feel gross. And it still makes me feel gross. So how do I get over that?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So we will let you know how it goes So we just tried the homework assignment that did not work well at all. It was a big failure, as Dan put it.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It was really fun. We haven't done that a long time. We both had a really good time. We both feel really good right now. Okay, so we're about to start our homework. I started to feel my guard going back up and started to get a foreboding feeling about kissing him what we were about to do. So I have to center myself again and get out of that. Routine”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sex tonight. Wouldn't even focus on orgasm and I would just start out focusing on kissing. I'd also love it if you would just spend some time talking. I want you to talk about the kids. I don't want you to talk about work. I don't want you to talk about the roof that needs to be replaced or that's got to be built. Nothing to talk about. Okay, so we just got home from going out to dinner.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Absolutely, because you're their model of what a loving intimate relationship is. And what we learned is that in Shana's case, it was a lot about control, because so much of her life, what made her feel safe in the world was this false sense of control of everything around her, including Dan. Here's what I'm thinking for tonight. Thinking that you could start exploring kissing. No sex. Sorry. Yes. No sex for the moment. Okay, no sex.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What would happen if they knew I feel like I would destroy their worlds. They would think that's disgusting in your children. Just don't want, I don't want them, I don't want to be responsible for them. Feeling mad Doing everything that you didn't have. And the reason you were traumatized by your mom's sudden sexuality was because you lost her. Kid's gonna lose you? No. Never. You know, I'm not saying that any child should see their parents having sex or know the details of their sex life, but the best family structures, the best relationships that children experience is the balance.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“How's your day? How does that need to be seen as a good mom or the perfect mom by everyone else around you play out in your sex life, you think?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I could imagine anger. Idea of her being intimate with this guy. I felt like it was disgusting. I didn't want to think about it. I was angry. So, what does it mean to be a mom and a sexual being? Can you be both?”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And the only time they get kissed is when he wants to have sex or when it's part of foreplay. Right? I'm right. And you'd think a kiss is easy to do. And as you say, Oprah, for many women.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To like kissing. I used to love kissing him. I remembered that person that I used to be and that couple that we used to be. And I really didn't understand what had happened over the years.”
2022-11-15 · The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast · In The Bedroom: Sex Therapy With Dr. Laura Berman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source