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Liam Payne

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2021-06-07
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2021-06-07
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  1. Very fortunate to live in some lovely places. And every time someone would show up at my door to do something and the job would cost £500, they would try and charge me £50,000 because the house was big. And I'm like learning early on like, and don't get me wrong, I've spent some money on some stuff I shouldn't have spent money on.

    2021-06-07 · The Diary of a CEO · Liam Payne Opens Up About His Darkest Moments, Failed Relationships & Entrepreneurship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. So I go to this arena in Manchester. I'm looking capacity, he's not great, everything else. I'm looking at all the stuff. And you're a kid. So I'm a kid. And I mean, I remember being front row of the fight and some guy behind me obviously doesn't like the band very much. Like, sit out, shut up, whatever else. Every fighter then after got out the ring and shook my hand. And I just kept looking behind thinking, Are you still got to say? Do you know the guy with a scary clown mask who just needs that other guy's nose off? Like, he's my friend. So I was like, yeah, exactly. And then I went and met everybody afterwards. And I got into his company. But unfortunately, the deal wasn't great. I put it through one of my investors that I have. And then it's like people try to catch you out. And this was always my biggest problem.

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  3. Bama. I got bought into Buy Bama when I was 19. So I roll up to this in my burberry coat thinking I'm an absolute bad man because I'm about to buy England's UFC.

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  4. Then I went on to properties, which was always the one I wanted to do. And then when I was 19, I nearly bought a fighting agency, which was fun.

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  5. I mean, I've had wild, my business learning curve from the day I first got my first check and I went to the manager, I'm like, what do you invest your money in? And because he had the biggest garden in London, I was like, he's a good place to start. He had the biggest home garden, which you don't think he does anymore, Steve, do you? Okay, apparently he doesn't anymore. Apparently he did when I was younger. He did. So I'm like trying to ask him what he investing on about gold and whatever else. And then you learn about safe haven currencies and all these other things. And then I started to branch out a little bit more, a little bit more.

    2021-06-07 · The Diary of a CEO · Liam Payne Opens Up About His Darkest Moments, Failed Relationships & Entrepreneurship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. Yeah, exactly. The Wolf Wall Street was in the corner over there. It was wild. So it's. I'm excited about it, and I think it's really funny. I showed it to one of my friends, and she really likes it. She laughed a lot at it, so we'll see.

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  7. Now, like, and I'm one of the characters, and I'm sat here going, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here, but apparently I'm alcoholic and I've got a problem. What's going on? The walls are closing in.

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  8. No, it's like they have the one who chairs the meeting. And the idea is if they say like, oh, can you talk about relationships and how it was affected by alcohol? Then he'll tell the story Alcoholism or narcotics thing. And then you're linking from his experience to go, oh my God, I'm the same as you. And that's how it works. I'm not going to give the whole script away because otherwise I'll tell you the whole film. But I kind of came up with this film and I actually haven't spoken to Russell Bab, which is the first thing I have to do because it was from him that this, obviously I'm in a movie.

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  9. I mean, yeah, exactly. I'm in his house. I'm in this dude's house. You haven't met him. And I've only seen him on the movies as a comic. And my bookie Wookie, I love that stuff. So I know a lot of things about him, but I'm a really shy person when I first meet. I'm like, oh my God, like, so he makes me a coffee and we sit talking about our experiences. And I've never seen someone look at me the way he looked at me, like, find you a man who looks at you, like Russell Braddon looks at you when he's listening to your stories because he looks into your soul. I was like, I was born again. And then we went to this meeting. It was all male meeting and there was everything in the meeting from prison guards to soldiers to ex-cons to postmen to bin men to everything and then meet and Russell Brand. So I'm like, this is the weirdest room I've ever been in my life. We're in like some old community church room or whatever. And then he's taking the chair in the room. So my first experience with AA was like the best experience ever.

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  10. Alcoholics Anonymous. And my first experience was with Russell Brand. Which if you seem Get him to the Greek or any of those other movies, I went to his house and I love Russell.

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  11. I've been working on something for a while, and me and Christian spoke about it a few weeks ago. Funny that it's based around AA, but I had a really weird AA experience the first time that I went into AA for?

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  12. Yeah, that's it. That's the point, though. And I'm telling you the thing as if it matters to me, not trying to hide behind some sort of. And like I say, I think there's many people who have this effect on therapy and all those things and sobriety. And I ain't saying everyone at home, by the way, should go sober. I ain't telling them to go vegan. I ain't telling them to do whatever. I'm saying this is what I did. And it worked pretty okay for me so far. So, you know?

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  13. I hope so. I mean, the worst bit for me is. I think it seems so much as a tool these days to hide behind a point. For me, it's never about that situation. I'm just telling you as what it is. And that's the bit where I think, like I say, I don't want any of this to get lost in translation. I am not 1% moaning about my life. I love my life at the minute. My life's great. I think I'd rather talk about it and it's therapeutic for me. And it's been a really good chat, by the way. This is a cool chat. I like this chat a lot. There's been some shit ones, let me tell you.

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  14. Just on that person, you know what I mean? A lot of my stuff, you know, if I hadn't had the help, I had, I don't know where the hell I'd be right now. So that is a credit to you in a sense.

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  15. But that's why I said it's not, people don't realize Just, you know, what happened to a VG is terrible, by the way. And I haven't seen the documentary. I didn't watch, I actually knew someone who knew, who worked with him. He wrote with me as well. And he said that what he saw was going on was not good. But for the most part, for a lot of these people, Usually, somebody in there that's not very good. Everyone else is trying to help and you don't see the effect it's having on them as well. You live and die by the sword? I live and die by my sword. That's it. But the person who's behind trying to pick up the shield to help me, they haven't even got the fucking sword. They're just diving into battle for you. And that's the difference. You know what I mean? It's like people miss out on that bit. So

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  16. It's the same thing. So it feels like I can even make that choice now and pick my last moment as my rock. At the bottom, or I can make a new one and make a whole new low as my choice.

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  17. I had a few of them. I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Rock Button for me, and you would never have seen it. I'm very good at hiding it. No one would have ever seen it. But Rock Bottom. I mean, I don't even know if I hit it yet. You know what I mean? I feel like it's like one of those little graphs you see when it's like, oh, we hit the...

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  18. We didn't all know how the hell we got here. Everyone's kind of looking around, like, we don't really know how the hell we got here. So where's the next move? And there's always someone who will pull you through. I've been very, very fortunate now with the people that I had to pull me through my bits. And it's, you know, that's why I say this care system is so important, right? Music is the lifeblood of a lot of a lot of our things. It's the background to our movie scenes when we're sat in the back of the car looking longfully out the window. But when we don't want to look after the thing that's kind of feeding us that much, you know what I mean? So I think for artists in the sense they do need that. I feel that it doesn't need to get lost in translation in other things. It genuinely needs to be a care system.

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  19. You know what with those things? I mean, I've spoken to managers who've lost people, and I've definitely put strain on a lot of people in my life in the past. It's been based on a different person. I don't like talking about it. I think it's hard, it's just as hard for the team around you at points as it is for you

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  20. He's such a fast moving industry these days. He's one of the biggest races in the world, right? If we had a start line for how many musicians there are trying to make it right now and who's going to outwork the other one, we'd need a very big track. So it's just kind of got to that place that we don't need any more useless music in the world, in my eyes. It needs to mean something.

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  21. Actually, even know how I would tour again. I really want to. And I want to put, I always said throughout this solo career, I'd let my songbook speak to me. And I don't think my songbook has necessarily spoke to me enough to get me off my ass to go somewhere yet. I only became a solo artist because I had stripped that down. I wasn't going to do it. I was going to leave it alone Yeah, I was going to leave it hell alone. I was like, I survived once. Thank you very much. But now I'm back in. The song I knew it was right. It felt right with the song. Whereas I haven't had that. And this year, the song that we have, I feel really right about. So I would rather let the music do the talking than me come out and...

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  22. Care for people in the industry because we don't have unions, we don't have people to look after us. And I was a kid. You know, I was a child when this happened to me. And I'm very fortunate to still be here today to be able to tell this story. But for most people, they feel abused or something in some sense. So I just think that there needs to be a self-care system within these shows. Because if they're going to move people through these shows and use them to make television, they can't just let them off afterwards. And I could never watch X Factor because I was always heartbroken because I'd been the guy who made it really far and then got let go. And it ruined me when I was 14. I was crap at school, depressed. It ruined me at one point. But I've also then been the guy who I think my dad actually came out and said it in a thing we were filming once. He was like, you've been told no more than any winning X Factor contestant or like any successful X-Factor contestant. I'm like, thanks, dad. It's great to know.

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  23. I saw a thing of people being angry at X factor this last few weeks, and I wanted to say something about it, but I didn't really know what to say on my terms because I feel like there's obviously going to be some people in there who are bitter. And you sign up for this show, you don't really know what the hell you'll get yourself into. But I would agree, and we've actually gone out of our way as a team to make this possible for me. And I think a record label just bought into the idea of what we've made. And I was the guinea pig, right? So pick the craziest person in the room to start with. That's what we've got a place to start. And we made this thing to like...

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  24. That's it. It's just mute. It's almost like, you know, like in a movie where they throw a grenade and he goes, And then everyone's like That's what it feels like, and you're like, oh my god, like.

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  25. Shocked why like to go from like, I don't know who's going to be here to then I looked on the thing and it's like oasis Robbie Williams all these amazing you know ACDC all these outdoor gigs amazing outdoor gigs and then just me and Michael Jackson and he's laying there like three or four times he's you know he is the list but I was on the same list I'm like what the

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  26. And I was like, you know, I got back to my hotel room and I was sat in my room on a chair like this. And I was about to go to the Maldives with Gerald and there. And I'm like, I don't think I can go to the Maldives right now. I can't move off this chair.

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  27. So I get to this park and the capacity for the park is like you've never seen. I'm looking at like a park. I'm like, how the hell? And I'm thinking, we're getting paid a lot of money to be here. This is going to be really embarrassing if nobody shows up. And I don't know anybody in Dubai. I can't even call 10 friends to be here. So I'm like at dinner. I'm not eating my food and whatever else. And I get back to the gig and there's people chanting and going, Lee, yeah, I'm Liam. And I'm like, okay, there's people here. Oh my God, I can chill. I get out there and I'm like awash with these sea of people. And I noticed the sound system's hella quiet behind me. It doesn't make any sense. I get through the gig and you autopilot the hell out of it. When I got off stage, they're like, oh, you broke a record. You're on a list with Michael Jackson. It was 110,000 people. I'm like.

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  28. My dad said it from day one, lonely hotel rooms, ma'am. Getting locked in that room is not fun when you've been exposed. I mean, I've come off gigs before. I did a gig in Dubai. I was really worried no one was going to show up. It was one of my first solo gigs by myself. And I suppose I'm uber self-critical. I'm always like, I don't know what the hell's going on.

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  29. And we've always had a really, really close connection. And the funny thing for us, and I've said this a lot, but we hated each other at the start. But it's almost the people that you grow closest to, you know. I'll say it because he brought it up quite recently, but, you know, the whole thing at a talk about the reunion. Like, for me, I'd rather we talked about it sooner rather than later because I don't want to. Tough touring that sort of a record. And I enjoyed touring for what I enjoyed it for, but there's part of it that really, really fucked me up, man. In a sense, I'll be honest with you. But none of us talk about it. It's like this taboo subject. It's like, oh, we can't get back together. What do you mean? Oh my God, like us in the same room. What the fuck is that about?

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  30. Great with most of them I think everyone's settling into themselves at this point. I know I am for sure. I had a lovely phone call from Harry the other day who was checking in on me. And I mean, it's almost like some people have got six cents for you, right, that you're going through something, so they'll check in. And he's very much like that. He's a lovely, lovely boy. I love him to pieces. And then Louie I speak to a lot.

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  31. But this is the job, man. And it's like it's listen the first few shows of anything are amazing. And then after a while, it's like you'll find bits that will grate on you and whatever else. But, you know, I've been so lucky to have the career that I've had and, you know, let's hope for more of that. That's what I think at this point. But it's learning how to deal and channel that.

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  32. It went really well, and then it was like, you know, the problem we had was It was like having a baby. The thing was nine months to get the number one in America. So it took nine months to work the record just to get the number one. If you can imagine singing the same song every day for nine months and having like one or two songs to back it up with, it was like pretty, like I'm sure somewhere that must be like put down as a method of torture.

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  33. Boom. And I'm wasted. I get home at half past one. Bear in mind, I started at like, I want to say eight o'clock in the morning. I was then asleep and I woke up at half past three for vocal training to be in Central Park at grooming at five and in Central Park for 7 o'clock. Bear in mind I went to bed at half past one. So I know what it can bring. And that crap will send you insane. I don't remember some days I was here. That will send you round the bend, but it's the if you want it, it's out there for you. You can go ahead and take it. But it's like you have to be a workhorse to want to do this. And I think a lot of artists would say that coming out of it. But I don't think it's unfortunate the demand in our industry and also the demand of how quickly people receive information now.

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  34. Well One of the one days that stuck out for me in the last few years where I did a whole day's promo in New York. And on the nighttime, I was on an Andy Cohen's show or something, and they had a drinking game. And someone asked me a question about one of my ex-girlfriends, and I did not want to divulge. The hell went down. And it was a drinking game. So I was like, they were like, we can fill it with water. But me being me was like, no, if I'm playing, I'm playing for real. So I'm like necking tequila.

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  35. Oh my God. And it's like, so say you're like geeky kind of growing phase between, say, 16 to 21, if you're lucky, it might last a bit longer if you're... I did that in front of everyone. And there's some terrible outfits. There's some terrible haircuts. That stuff is there forever. I've gotten away with a few haircuts.

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  36. It's almost like that's the thing when you're selling yourself, you have to know what the hell you're selling. And I'm, you know, I'm sure most people wake up every day going, I don't know what the fuck is going on.

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  37. Was wild. I didn't know what the hell was going on, and also I didn't know what the hot potato I just got landed on me. Oh, we just did a billion streams. It literally is like hot potato. One minute's here, and the next minute it's gone. So, you know, I'm excited to see what the next... Next six months of this brings. I'm excited to see we have a really cool song in the pipeline, which is really exciting. Really exciting in the song, one of the first ones I've actually written myself with some of the people I didn't write by myself. But it's, yeah, the first one I've really liked. And I think I got so used to carting around other people's songs and not embedded myself creatively in what I do because I was scared to find out who I was.

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  38. Came out and it was we did a billion streams, and I could have never asked for that, I could have never asked for that in a million years. But when I was making shriek that down, I was a box of frogs. I was nuts.

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  39. I think we did compete with each other at a point. But I think it's all fairly laid out as it is now, and we've all had our success in completely different areas. And also musically, we didn't really go down the same route. I think Harry. Harry's an amazing, you know. I mean, first album, he had the one song off, which is really, really well. And then this second album, he found himself. And that is your... Awakener's eyes. That's when it really clicks. I don't feel like I've had that moment within me yet. I've written some songs recently that I'm really proud of and happy with, but I don't feel like I've had that moment yet. Strip that down.

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  40. Exactly, exactly. So it's just like I think in the end you're only like fighting against yourself. I sound like Rocky Barbo now. I'm really

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  41. Exactly, and that's what happened with our fame as well. We were just that of this era. Same for Justin Bieber, right? Who the hell has beaten that run? Come on.

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  42. But we were like the new wave of the Beatles. And even still, people didn't say we beat the Beatles. You know what I mean?

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  43. I love the idea of the army. And boxing's another one. I mean, I've been fortunate to have a bunch of fun stuff. But yeah, I think you always feel like you have something to prove. And I think at the end of the day, you're only really proving it to yourself because no one else really cares. Everyone else just looks at you as what it is. And it's not that you want to beat your brand because no one will beat our One Direction. Not one of us in our lifetimes, in another lifetime, somebody might crack something. I mean, BTS have had a really good go at it. They've done really, really well.

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  44. It's wild. So to hear that Well, I mean, I think there's a problem that us as people, we all want something that we feel like we made. But the older I get, the more things I'm privy to, you don't really make anything on your own ever. Like I think there's just about Ed Sheer and the rights on his own. Even he doesn't write music on his own. So it's like, for one, that feels a little bit like that because you were in the band. And I suppose For each of us as members, we wanted to see what we could do. And I'm really happy with my success of Asvar. What I don't know is How much of this idea was mine to go with being the music career? You know, you worry about the life that you might have missed of, oh, I was going to do this, whatever. I always quite like the idea of the army as a kid. That's something I definitely wanted to do.

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  45. I mean, you say your favourite TV program was Dragons Den. I watched Help My House is falling down and location, location, location and stuff like that when I was a kid. I was like obsessed. And then my manager does load loads of properties.

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  46. So my thing was I'd got a job and secured one there for an apprenticeship, which was like 22,000 a year or something. And then I was like, right, I know my sister paid £60 board at the house. So if I just like bored at my parents' house, it's £60 in fees. Then I can save up with the other money enough to buy my first house and then rent it out.

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  47. I got a job at the same time. This is really wild. Work experience week at school. My dad worked at a factory and I was always obsessed. I was like, this is adult Lego. And he built airplanes. I was like, this is amazing. I'm going to do that. So I went and I built aeroplanes. And they had like a little collection for me different. I did like 400 quid and everyone. I was like, what did you get paid for your work experience? I was like, nothing. I was like, oh, I got like 500 quid. But in the middle of my work experience, I went on X Factor. So it was almost like I was trialing my two lives. Almost like, what's that sliding doors film or whatever it's called, a butterfly effect? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

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  48. When he did swear once, I was happy I wasn't around for it because I couldn't be blamed. And there's a way to root out, find out whose swear word it is. It wasn't a combination I would use.

    2021-06-07 · The Diary of a CEO · Liam Payne Opens Up About His Darkest Moments, Failed Relationships & Entrepreneurship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. And so we sat there and then I turned the film on. And the first shot of the film was from the trailer. He's going, why are you playing this again? And I'm going, no, no, no. We watched a trailer. No, but why is it on the TV again? And it kept like bits get flashed on. I'm like, oh my God, this is not helping me. So then I'm like, okay, let me, how do I explain this? I was like, you know, like, if we have a plate of food and like I feed you a little bit and then you go, oh, and you don't want it and then I take it away or if I feed someone you go, oh yeah, and I give you the whole thing. I was like, that's like this. And then he's going. But why are we watching it again?

    2021-06-07 · The Diary of a CEO · Liam Payne Opens Up About His Darkest Moments, Failed Relationships & Entrepreneurship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. But I'm watching him and like I played him a trailer, a movie trailer. It was this simple. I played him a trailer for a thing and we watched it. And we both were like, I like that. Let's stick that on. It was just Disney's Horraya and a dragon thing. What's about you? You and your new family friend Raya

    2021-06-07 · The Diary of a CEO · Liam Payne Opens Up About His Darkest Moments, Failed Relationships & Entrepreneurship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT