YouSaid · the spoken record

Marcus Buckingham

lines on the record: 126
first: 2022-05-05
most recent: 2022-05-05
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“I really appreciate it. Yeah. I'm in the or of anybody who's done what you've done, frankly, who's started businesses and built businesses and gone across town, as it were, stop late to stop late to stop making it up. And now you're doing this. So it was a real honor to be invited on. And yeah, time was. Time has flown”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I probably talk too much, but it's an awe inspiring thing to me. Another human. And I want to be able to retain all of that openness in the face of a world that's sometimes really dangerous”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think the other thing, when I wrote about my children, and we didn't get into it, but the whole college cheating scandal thing for me was really difficult to see the world reach into your kids. So the panic that you feel when you realize the world, I mean, you're a social media expert, right? You know how porous the world is. Inside of this person is a is a person who is now forever fearful of how the world can reach into your life and completely mess it up. And the struggle that I probably have that doesn't, people don't know is how do you ensure that you aren't cynical? How do you ensure that you retain some of the joy and the awe like we didn't meet before? Like I've loved this.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But the challenge there is, I wrote about some things that I've never written about in love and work that I've never shared. So I now have shared that I couldn't say my own name until I was 12, which I don't think anyone would really have known given what I do. I look like I sort of feel confident, but I had years of panic attacks. So those are now shared. And for me, we're like really... Really hard”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so, in a relationship, if you're in a really good relationship with your partner, you will feel seen. And then intelligently, you will see that person go, oh, that's why he does what he does. And then you know that they're looking at you with those beautiful rose-tinted glasses on, not to pat you on the head, but to have really beautiful and powerful expectations of you based upon what they see. Now that's a relationship. And that doesn't mean you don't argue, but it means you're in the hands of somebody who wants you to be this. Like that's intoxicating and super sexy.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That I can actually push it all the way through to what I consider to be something really deep or wise or true. And if I Can't get there yet because I'm still grinding on it, then it turns out to be immediate rejection syndrome. But if you try to unweave that, you would unravel all of this, which is the only good I'm ever going to do in the world is this. So I'm with a partner who's like, I get. And by the way, sometimes Marcus, it's bloody annoying, but I get that it's a part of this. It doesn't excuse it. Like, should I not be blunt when I go, no? Yeah, but I know that she knows that I know that she knows that I know that she knows that I know that this is a part of me doing anything good. She's not putting the villain over here. He rejects ideas. It's like, oh no, he needs to grind on him. Sometimes that manifests in this.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They weave it into. I'm sorry, this is going to sound so soft, but they weave it into a red thread. So they know that this isn't an aspect of something over here that's separate. It's part of what you contribute to the world. And the example I gave in here, Michelle, my fiance, is, oh gosh, we are not an example. But I mean, we're an example just of ourselves. So we argue and we're up and down. But one of the beautiful things about my relationship with her is I have immediate rejection syndrome where because I like to really noodle on an idea, when people come to me with ideas, sometimes if my mental brain is full, I go, no, like it's an immediate rejection syndrome, which she called immediate rejection syndrome as a joke. And rather than saying, putting it over here, it's a villain. She's in our relationship, it works actually that she knows that this is a part of me wanting to get to the core of an idea.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That kind of detail about your weaknesses, and you know your partner knows these really, really well, even though they love you for this, they go, no, but he's just awful at this. This is like a villain that sits off in the wings. And you know when you're arguing, your partner, whenever they want, they can just pull out the card and play the villain card and go, see, this is you. And you know this person knows you better than anyone else in the world has 17,000 examples of why that villain is real and lives in you, that means you do this. You just keep leaning back and back in every argument. You're like, when are they going to play the card? When are they going to play the card? Hurts the relationship. In the best relationships, turns out your partner looks at you. Everything they see about you.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you want to think about what serves the relationship, it's to be in a relationship with someone who's always looking for the most generous explanation for why you do what they do. And then they believe it. Because if they believe it, then they actually lean in more and you are more vulnerable because you go deep down you go, there's all sorts of reasons why I did that, but they are looking for the most generous one. That doesn't mean they let you off the hook if you let them down. I'm not saying that. But as you look at what the best couples do, they look for the, of all the reasons why you do something. And it's never one reason. There's a lot of different ones. They look for the most generous one and then they believe it. And then the third thing in really great relationships is that you never in a relationship balance out, well, he's impatient, but at least he's creative. I mean, he is so disorganized, but at least he's charming. Like if you have...”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And if you're with a partner who they keep coming in and going, what's the real reason you do? You know, do you know why you did that? Because if you're living with a detective, oh, God forbid you're living with a therapist who's like, let me tell you why you really said that. He goes all the way back to your mom is what it does, you know, and that's then you, here's what you do. You bury it, you armor yourself against the detective because the detective is sometimes right.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Always look for the best explanation of why they do what they do and believe it. There's an awful lot of reasons why you do what you do. Some of them are not noble. Some of them might be selfish.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Relationship because then your partner sees you the way that you see you and love shouldn't be blind. Love's not blind. Love's like clear-eyed. I mean, love starts blind. They're amazing. But then you see them and who they really are and then boom, boom, boom. But actually in the best relationships, the ones that tracked over time, less conflicts, more longing, more yearning for each other over time. In the best relationship, the other partner rates you high on everything. The other partner sees you with rose. You feel so safe and they feel so confident because they see you like this. So that's the first thing. Keep your rose tinted glasses on in a relationship. The second thing I would say to you is if you want to be a good partner to your partner or if you want them to be a good partner to you.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I'm going to sound so bloody nerdy saying this, but there's actually quite a lot of research on what it means to see someone with love. Like there's a, what does it look like when you're in a love relationship that works? Mostly, of course, when we study relationships, we study broken ones. So we study divorce to learn about marriage as though happiness is the opposite of sadness. It's like, no. But there has been some research studying happy marriages. And when you look at what characterizes a really successful relationship, three things stand out and they're all weird. The first one is they had couples rate each other on a list of qualities and you would think that in the best relationships, if I rated myself high on impatience and low on creativity and then high on urgency and low, and then my partner rated me the same, our patterns matched, then you think, well, that's a good thing.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so it's funny to write. I mean, there's a whole chapter here on love and work relationships, particularly after the Me Too movement, you think, well, you shouldn't bring up love and work. It's a bad situations. But the person who I'm getting married, like the person I married used to work for me, and depending on which data you look at, between 22 and 27% of people met their partner at work, their life partner at work. So clearly seeing somebody at work is kind of cool because you see all the bits of them and you see them doing kind of wonderful and crazy things doesn't mean that we shouldn't have ways in which people have relationships at work. But it's obviously, you can't really write a book about love and work and not talk about love.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That doesn't mean I don't care. It means this is a bloody problem. Sometimes you get you in the wrong role. As I said earlier, tough love. But there's love there. It's big love there. And, you know, people say, well, it's too much love in the workplace is soft. It's like, think about people you really love. If they were abusing drugs, you would intervene. You would because you would not, your love would be like, I can't let you keep doing this. Not because I don't love you, but because I do. Well, at work, sometimes we're going to go, this job is, I don't know, man. I love the salary's good for you. I get it. This job is not right for you. And I'm saying that to you because it's hard for me to say it to you and it's difficult. And you don't want me to say it to you, but I love you and this is wrong for you. And if we got more of that at work, that's not idealistic. The best managers in any company do that. And that's why when they leave a company, all their people run with them.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some people are able to maintain those beautiful friendships and still move into managing because they see managing in a sense as an extension of what a beautiful relationship is anyway. I know they always say don't get too close to your people because you might have to fire them. And then you ask really great managers, can you ever care too much for your people? Every one of them goes no, the best ones. You can never care too much. Now look, capitalism, capitalism, sometimes you run out of business and our clients ditch us and we've got to downscale the company.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's as cool as heck that is if you've got a work team where people on the team feel like my manager who might well be my friend wants me to expand. Not to become someone else. It's not like I don't see you and here's my model of who you should be and you better fit it. It's more like, no, who are you? Ooh, this is how that might look for you as you grow. Some people, I don't know if I'm one of them”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Shuts up and listens or washes, and then you know that their intention toward you is not competing with you. They just want you to do this. And it's like, wow. And for many really great managers, they've got friendships. Like you shouldn't be a friend of people you manage. That's just absolutely no data on that at all. Some managers are best friends with the people they manage, but they have a relationship with that person feels like that manager who's really just another human wants you to be bigger. And that's...”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They go, I think I know how to do this though. I like being responsible for other people's work, their choices. I like being the one to hold them. I like, even though I'm a friend and I love them, I like being the one to try to help them, as we talk about what's the point of a relationship. And that's, by the way, I think a super interesting question. What's the point of a relationship? Is it diversity? Is it protection? Is it complementarity? Actually, no, it's just any relationship, even a lover relationship is, I want to make you bigger. I want to make you bigger. I see you. I want to try to correct you, perfect you. I just want to make you bigger. Like, what a beautiful. Relationship that is to be in where you know the person sees you.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And as a manager, or sorry, as an entrepreneur, often we go, well, you'll grow into this. You will. And on some deep level, you could probably split the world into two. There are some people, even though they have friendships.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the great questions to ask people to see if they want to move into management is simply the question would you rather do a job yourself or would you rather be responsible for other people's work? That's a great, I know it's not an open-ended question, but it actually turns out to be for some crazy reason a people don't lie to that question. I don't know why, but we've asked it probably 50,000 times and it's as a predictor of whether somebody actually then excels as a manager. That's an awful lot of people who deep down you throw them that question and top of mind they go I'd rather be responsible for my own work actually”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Peterprints. Lawrence Peter, I think, was the professor who came up with that. It takes such strength of character for that person to go. Wait a minute. You're saying I would get to do less of all this stuff that really, really invigorates me. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Why would I want that? Well, it's going to come with a bigger title and more money. Yeah, but it doesn't fit with what I love. Now, that's self-awareness. That self-mastery. Obviously, in the last or second, the last chapter of the book, get into our love and work organization, we ought to create broader pay bands that allow someone to grow in their role, extend their contribution, and yet not necessarily have to move out of the job in order to manage other people. That doesn't have to be the only way in which we help someone have a career.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, and the funny thing is at work, right? Because we don't start really early and say to people, hey, listen, you're a totally unique human being. And the way in which you respond to the activities of school is really interesting and let's help you have a language for that. Then you get to go into a job and you don't really have a language for that. And then somebody comes in and says, they're going to give you a promotion. And you on some incohet level, you're like, oh, wait a minute, I really, really love this. Like I'm so into the design that I'm doing. I love the fact that it's me doing the doing and I'm not responsible for someone else's doing the doing. I'm the one making the decisions. I love the thing that I made yesterday and the other thing I'm going to make tomorrow. And it takes such strength of character to go when somebody comes in and says, no, we're going to promote you out of it. It's like, how weird is it at work that the most creative way we've thought to reward someone for being really good at a job is to move them out of it. That's bizarre. I think they called it the Peter principle, right? You keep playing with that. You just get promoted to your level of incompetence.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How much money will I make? What's my title? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll do that. So you end up in a role where I call it in the book a misearning.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's well, again, everyone's different, right? So, who would dream of saying to you, You should meditate? All I know is when I had a chance to try to be in sync with my own breath. It gave me power. I felt. And so when the Disney people were freaking out, or behind me, the Gallup people were freaking out, I was like, I was okay with it. But as I said in the book, that was a coping mechanism. It wasn't a flourishing mechanism. I'm not saying some people can't flourish through meditation. They probably can. I couldn't. For me, it was like, I got clear enough in my own head to realize. This isn't what I should be doing. This is a big miss match between me and what somehow I was going paid to do. Prestige is a big thing, right? It's like somebody goes, you want to run the Disney account?”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, I'm a huge. Advocate of ways you can see from love and work. It's like the first relationship you better have is a really good one with yourself. And so the point of love and work on one level was to help everybody have a more articulate fluency with their own language, with their own reaction to the world. And so that begins on some level by shutting out. I mean, here am I chatting away like a mad prune, but can you breathe in and breathe out for 15 minutes? I mean, that's, I don't know. Do you meditate?”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Be a certain way. And I don't mean in a macro sense to be a certain way, I mean at two o'clock on a Thursday afternoon, you're supposed to be thinking and feeling this. And at nine o'clock on a Monday, you're supposed to be feeling all that, and you realize your days are filled with empty minutes. Week after week.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The days are empty, psychologically empty, you don't get to express that, which is like being in a loveless relationship. It's like, it's awful. Even if you feel like you want to help that other person, if the being of relationship with them doesn't allow you to express who you are, they don't see who you are. They see who you are and wish you weren't that way, it's awful. So for me, that's, I think, what built up and up and up and up and up. And in the end, it was like, it was super psychologically damaging to be trying to be somebody that you're not. When you didn't plan to be there, but now everyone's counting on you.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“For me for no good reason, it panics me. Now I should have known better, I guess. I hadn't done the love it loaded thing back then, hadn't even thought about it all the way through to the word love. But it was clearly a loveless existence. And when anyone has loveless work that they're pass, you know, they believe in it.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, even just saying that now makes me break out in a sweat because it's like, I can't do that. I don't, I'm not a connector like that. I'm not a connector. I don't like reaching in going, oh, if I say this to this person and this to this person, then they're going to, and yet that's really what the job had become. And I like, I mean, when I think about what I love, I love when I have a chance to sit down and really grind on an idea or a set of data to come up with a conclusion that's based on data. Like I love that. I love trying to get up on stage and try to figure out the most evocative way to help someone realize a particular insight that I've come up with. Like that's a love note for me. And more and more and more, I was doing less and less and less of that. And instead, I was holding the emotions of the people behind me at Gallup and the people in front of me at the Wald Disney Company.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, we talk about love as a force. Like, if you don't express that which you love, it's not neutral. It turns from a beautiful, powerful force, love, into a really caustic substance that eats away at you. It's damaging. So for me, I had got myself into a position where I was really solely responsible for one huge client, Disney. And I was the interface between Gallup with all the people on the teams and Disney. And I hate that. I hate having to be responsible for other people's emotions that I can't do anything about. I hated that every single day waking up and thinking are the 200 people that are basically our clients at Disney. Are they happy? What are they thinking? What are they wondering about? What do they need? Do they need this?”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I'll put my own story in here because I feel like it's more honest and everybody's life is a story. The only one I can tell is mine. Maybe I could share parts of it and other people could learn to tell their own story. So I did put things in there that I have buried, buried, buried. And yeah, 29, I was managing Gallup's relationship at the Walt Disney Company. I was living down in Orlando I did start having really bad. I didn't know what a panic attack was. As I say in the book, now everyone knows all about panic attacks. And it's like acne, right? Everyone has them and it's great or not great. But I didn't know. I thought I was going mad. I mean, I thought it's the buildup as the doctor told me. It was like, it's not that one moment that's causing the panic attack. It's the buildup actually of...”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, that's, you know, it's funny. I've written a lot of books, a lot of them have mostly been about data. And that's fine because I like the precision of data. But I felt like many people, I'm sure, the pandemic the last few years have been really difficult for us. And you sort of ask yourself You doing with your life? What life are you living or what mark you leaving? Ask my dad, I lost my marriage, I saw my company pandemic. You sort of look in the mirror and you're like, what am I doing? So for this book, I was like, you know, I'm a repressed Brit”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And no one really goes, wait a minute, how do you make sense of your own emotion in your own life? What do you lean into? What are you not leaning into? What are the words for that? Is there any detail around that? Or what do you like about people? What do you like doing with the people? Imagine how early you could start with that. And that wouldn't mean that it's Pollyanna. We're still going to put people in the wrong jobs. I built a company that was focused entirely on people's strengths, and I still put people on the wrong job because people are super complicated. But at least we'd have a framework and a set of shared understandings about what we were even trying to do. I don't know. I think there's for all of us, there's stuff we can do. You don't have to change the company. You don't have to change all the HR policies. You could, any one of us could start right now to do what the most successful people do in terms of weaving red threads into their work.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that way, when you wake up, your mum's going, be a dentist, be a dentist, be a dentist. And you're like, Mom, there's a whole language actually here that talks about dentistry and whether I love it or not. And I keep walking on down that path, but I'm actually supposed to look really carefully about which bits of any job really lift me up and give me a sense of mastery. Kids have more of a language, as I say in the book. They have more of a language about geometry than they do about this thing I was just talking about. So your parents are so powerful and they're so scared. And they want you to not be a layout and they want you to be able to get a job and they're so scared for you. What they've not done, and even the best teachers are sort of scared for you. Come on, Stephen.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“People are watching, I'm in the wrong job. Maybe you're one of the 27%, you're in the wrong job. All right. Before you get there, though, try to, I pick out your red threads anywhere. And no one can do it but you. That's the thing that it's like you want to go, hey, nine-year-old, let's start you on this life skill early. Because even a nine, you know better than all your teachers do. About this part, anyway, about the red threads part.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“More deeply into the fabric of what they do. Now, sometimes that might mean stop being a lawyer. You know what? You've worked. You've tried this now for six months, and there's nothing there for you. Okay, well, then that's really tricky. Now you have to change your entire focus and hopefully your loves will be your guide. But we actually know over here, I don't know the number for the UK, but 73% of Americans say that they have the freedom to maneuver their job to fit themselves better. That's a lot of people. And yet, only 18% of us do. Because if you ask people, do you have a chance to use your strengths every day? That number is 18%. So you've got 73% in psychology we call that an attitude behavior consistency problem. I know I can do it.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Will teach you Eloqua, will teach you that competency because you've got something that you seem to be able to write text that people actually open. That's kind of interesting. I know that's not in your job description, but you seem to keep doing it. And so we'll teach you now a new competency, a new software program. And lo and behold, you start doing that over time and you get to the place where the most successful people get to, where we look at the most successful people and we go, had they find that job? Seems to fit them so perfectly. How'd they find that job? And of course, they know they didn't find it. That's totally the wrong verb. They made it. They took their red to use that metaphor. They took their red threads seriously. And then they didn't imagine someone could read their mind and tell them what their red threads are because only you know what these things, these little moment situations contexts are that really lift you up. But then they took them seriously and wove them ever.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Week, and you find there are a couple of things on there, actually. There are a couple of love dits. There are a couple of specific things where I'm like, ooh, ooh. Well, when you have that, first of all, pay attention to it. Things that are not paid attention to, they wither. So every day wake up is the advice I would give you, or you might give me, every day wake up and just try to, rather than what I have to get through, what's the to-do list I have to get through, why don't you wake up every day? Yeah, you may have a to-do list, but wake up every day and go, what red threads can I weave today? Because they're going to be not 75,000, but they might be five. What are the five? Start there. And then over time, what you'll find is you can start to maybe go, well, next week, actually, I'm going to pick one day. It's going to be all red. It's going to be all red one day. You might go because people start to lean into it. They might go, could you actually do more of that for this client and this client and this client? And then maybe you learn a competency, like somebody who's really good at creating emails that people open, you might go Eloqua.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What are you doing with the people? Give me a verb. Any verbal do let's start with a verb. But we've trained people so long to be divorced from their own emotion or believing that basically their emotion could be rewired if they just work at it and show enough grit or whatever. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's real. And your emotional reaction to things is real. So I would say to people, first of all, do that, love it, loathe it. And then try to write one, maybe even two. It's a silly word, but a love note to yourself. I love it when I do what. I love it when I do what. What many people will actually find is that if you hate lawyering, it might well be that you're the wrong kind of lawyer. It might not be that you have to ditch your degree. It might be that you can start to rewire or sow, reweave your job so that it has more red threads in it. So if you do that...”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Find any red threads anywhere in your hobbies as a mother, as a father, as a friend in your community, in your faith, I don't know. Write one love note to yourself, which is simply, I love it when and then finish the... That you're doing. Not I love it when people praise me or something. I love it when I watch. Just write one sentence. It's amazing, Steve. How many people, adults can't be articulate about describing something that they love? I know it sounds really weird, but you ask people, we've done this so many times, you ask people, you know, tell me what you love or tell me what your strengths are. Oh, I love people.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Weeks in a row of no red threads Then you've got a loveless job, and the bad trade for anybody is somebody going, well. My job doesn't have to love me back. I'm making the money. I just stick it out. I'll pay my dues or I'll earn the money for three, four, five years. Then I'll, you know, that five years, then I'll as though you emerge the same person after five years of loveless work. You don't. You are psychologically damn. You're a different person after five years of loveless work. You're damaged. And the people weirdly who feel it the most are the people you're supposedly supporting at home. You think the people around the dinner table don't know that you come back every day and your loved it, loathed it list, although they wouldn't say it this way. There's nothing on the loved it column. They know, they can feel it. People often worry about, don't bring your personal stuff to work. It's way more powerful the other way. People bring their work, their emptiness, their alienation at work back home. So if you two weeks in a row, nothing, then you have to stop and you have to, in a sense, apply the loved it loathed it to the rest of your life. Just take that around and see whether you can.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because it'll be developmental, you know, or you're doing it and the time drags on like a snail. And it's like, you thought you'd be doing it for an hour, but you look up, it's five minutes. And we've all got stuff like that. It's like, and time and love have a weird relationship. You know, it's like when you're with someone that you love, that whole day goes by in 15 minutes. And yet before you're with them, time just stretches out and then you're with them and whoa. Same true with an activity that you love. If you don't love it, you keep trying to do this. And then when you're doing it, it's like, how's it how's it this long? Scribble it down and they loathed it. And so get to the end of one week, just one regular week and see what's in the loved column and what's in the loath to column. If there's nothing in the loved column, well, then you have to stop and do it again next week and pay attention. And if you get no red threads, two weeks in a row. And this is really easy to do. No one's ever told people how to do it, but it's really easy to do.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“For the flow, the energy, the instinctive volunteering, the I'm in my essence, the feeling of innate mastery, those moments. There could be like two minutes here, seven minutes here, ten minutes, but there are red threads. And your life is sort of putting on a show for you every day going, what about this thread? What about that thread? What about this thread? What about that thread? And the most successful people in any job, of course, they identified their red threads really well. And then they weave them into contribution. Now we can talk more about how they do that, but it starts by going, take a blank powder with you, think about the clues to your red threads. What are you instinctive to volunteer for while you're doing something does time fly by? When you're done with it, you feel sort of an sense of mastery, a sense of being up, not down. And then take it around with you for a week. And anytime you find anything that fits those criteria, scribble it down. And anytime you find the inverse before you're doing something, you try to procrastinate or hand it off to the new guy.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes. So, to anyone watching or listening, the first thing to do is assess. Like where are you at, which really means. How much love do you have in a week? Do you have a loveless job? How would you do that? Well, the simplest way to do it is just take a blank pat around with you for a week. Draw a line down the middle of it. Put loved it, the top of one column, and loathed it at top of the other. And this is easy to do. Most people never done this. And all you're going to do is you're going to imagine that your day is made up of many, many different threads. There's a fabric of a workday which a bit like a tapestry on a wall. When you're far away, it looks like just a picture. But when you get closer, there's many, many, many thousands of threads. Well, the same is true of any day. You've got a thousand different activities, moments, situations, contexts. Just stuff just hits you. And it's little baby five minutes, two minutes, seven minutes, five minutes, two minutes, seven minutes. But these are threads. Some of them are white, some of them are black, some of them are gray, some are green. They lift you up a little, down a little, but some of them are red. So in the book here, I talk about red threads, activities that when you're doing them, all that stuff we talked about before.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What always trumps the who and the why, which is why we've got nurses and teachers who are so disengaged. They believe in the why. They really love the people on their shift, but the day-to-day reality of what they're doing doesn't fit them. No one's paying attention to it. There's no manager helping them. There's no teams. All the stuff we talked about before that goes, is anyone paying attention to what I have to do every day and whether or not it fits me, which bits do, which bits don't, how do I lean into one another? What does collaborate? All that stuff is missing. So the why is there, the who is there, the what is wrong.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The why is importantly to think about do you really believe in the purpose of what you're doing? That's important, no question. The who is important, no question. If you hate the people you're working with, that's always a bit of a problem. But the what trumps the who and the what I in the end. Like what are you actually filling your days with? So if your friend is a lawyer, it's like give me a day. Talk to me about a day. What's the day look like? What are you doing at 10 o'clock on a Monday morning? What are you doing at 3 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon? That's the what? What are the actual activities themselves? So if anyone...”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, no, as we talked about before, competence can be a devilish curse because you can get the A's and hate the work. You can get high performance, but actually hate the activities. For anyone, if they want a really great career,”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I've got an 18 year old and a 20 year old. And I just wish in every fiber of my being that they get to feel that loop. That's love and work. Love is for work and work is for love. And if we do that, it's not just individualistically satisfying. It's what companies want from us. We just haven't taken it. We just haven't taken it seriously.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“At work And we've thought about what you love? How does that turn into work? And how does the work that you do inform the detail of what you love? And then it becomes this wonderful, infinite loop of work is to help you, sorry, love is to help you figure out contribution, which then informs what you love. Your life is like this. You've already built a company. You've sold it. Now you're doing all this other stuff because your love leads you to turn it into contribution, which required you spending tens of thousands of pounds to do something. And then now you're doing it. And we're sitting here. And there'll be stimuli that information's going into your brain right now and it will add detail to that which you love. This whole thing, but over here at NLA, it will have a little more detail. And your life will be this. Now, listen, I don't know your mom and your dad, but if your life was like this, they would go, yes, I don't care how much freaking money he makes. If he knows that which he loves and turns it into contribution, then on his deathbed he'll feel like he lived the first rate version of his life.”
2022-05-05 · The Diary of a CEO · How To Find Ultimate Fulfilment At Work: Marcus Buckingham · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT