YouSaid · the spoken record

Marshall Goldsmith

lines on the record: 115
first: 2022-07-12
most recent: 2022-07-12
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“None ever told me how big their office was, how much money they made. All they ever talked about was the people they helped. Find vice also same, go for it. Your world's changing, your interests are changing. Do what you think is right. May I win? At least you tried. Old people, we seldom regret the risk we take and fail. We usually regret the risk we fail to take. And finally, as I've grown older, I guess my expectations and way have gone down and down, but impact's going up and up. Why? Quit worrying about what I'm not going to change. Let me give you my goal or a little time together here. Pretty simple. Let's imagine a few people have a little better life listening to our conversation. That's good enough for me I'm declaring victory here. You so Thank you”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I had an embarrassing experience a few years ago. I was teaching my class and I said, go to New Zealand, speak Spanish. Guy raised his hand and says, We're in Spain, you idiot. We all speak Spanish. Business advice isn't much different. Number one, life is short. Have fun. Number two, do whatever you can do to help people. The main reason to help people is nothing to do with money or status or getting ahead. The main reason to help people is much deeper. The 95-year-old you will be proud of you because you did and disappointed if you do not. And if you do not believe this is true interview, any CEO who has retired, and I've interviewed very many and asked him a question, please tell me, what are you proud of?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He's a youth. Don't get so busy chasing what you don't have. You can't see that. Learning point number two is friends and family. Never get so busy climbing that corporate ladder you forget the people you love. That happens way too much. And when you're 95 years old and you look around your deathbed, none of your coworkers wave and gobbler, you realize these people are kind of important. They're the only ones here today. Number three, if you have a dream, go for it because you don't go for it when you're 30, you may not win you're 40 or 80. It doesn't have to be a big one, maybe a small one. Go to New Zealand, speak Spanish, play the guitar. Other people think your dream is goofy. Who cares? Not their dream. It's not their life. It's your life.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some friends of mine interviewed old folks who were dying and got to ask him this question. What advice would you have? On the personal side, three themes. Theme number one, three words Be happy now Not next week, not next month, not next year, not I'll be happy when I achieve this stuff or when I get this money. Be happy now. We all have the same win. That 95 year old person, that person looking at death, that is when. We all got exactly the same win here. Learning point from old people, I got so busy chasing what I didn't have. I couldn't see what I did have. And I had everything. Well, many people listening to Skali of your health and you have families and people love you and some money and probably almost everybody listening compared to me have youth.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The ability to help that person be a better leader. Much more important the ability to help the person have a better life. What advice would the wise ninety five year old you, who knows what mattered in life and what didn't and what was important and what wasn't? What advice would that wise old person have for the you? This listening to me right now Whatever you're thinking now, do that. terms of a performance appraisal as only one's gonna matter. Old person says you did the right thing, you did the right thing. That old person says you made a mistake. You made a mistake. You do not have to impress anybody, but that old person.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I define success as you go through life, you have alignment between one, your higher aspirations in life, two, what you're trying to achieve, and three, your enjoyment of the process of life itself, regardless of the outcomes. So, as I journeyed through life I've got a higher purpose, and I've I'm doing my best to achieve stuff that's connected to that. I enjoy the process of what I'm doing I It now, let me finish now with my best advice for everybody. Are you ready? I want everybody listening to take a deep breath. Imagine that you're ninety five years old and you're just getting ready to die. You're on that deathbed. Here comes your last breath. Right before you take the last breath, you're given a beautiful gift. The ability to go back in time and talk to the person who is listening to me right now.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Tiger Woods, same ritual before he puts. Same thing. What does that rich will do Calm down calm down I'm putting remember what am I doing you know forget about the score forget about the past forget about the previous shot forget about the club championship no hit the shot”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Nope. He said, I never told the coach I was tired my entire life. I said, you think your wife was impressed with I'm tired? Not so much. Not so much. Well, sometimes it's harder to do this stuff at home sometimes because at home we just check out and lose it.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They're staring at it. They don't even know what they're watching. Yeah. One of the guys that was in my little group was a great basketball star. This is a great story. So one of his things was he wants to be fully engaged with his wife because his wife says you're checked out too much. You're physically here, but mentally you're not here. He's going to do better. So one day his wife was terrible, terrible, terrible. So I talked to him and said, well, what was the problem? He said, I was tired. Very tired. I've been working out all day. I was tired, you see. I said, that's very interesting. I went to the National Basketball Championship Finals there, and I watch you played a game. I paid a thousand bucks for a seat, and so did my son. We watched you, and you're running up and down the court like a band sheep. Now I said, were you tired? I was exhausted. I said, did you go to the coach and say, hey, coach, I'm tired. Take me out.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just wandering around stumbling around through life, you know. I mean, it's one of those days, you say, you wake up in the morning, you come home with six, what'd you do today? I don't know. You don't even know what you did.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If they were in school, these people got a 55 out of 100, they would be ashamed. And I tell them, the test I gave is about a thousand times more important than a bozo test you took in school. Raised the score The next one is did I do my best to build positive relationships? That is actually harder at work than it is at home a lot of times. You have a hard day at work, you go home, you're tired, you just lose it. Forget about the people around you Just lose it. And then the final one is did I do my best to be fully engaged and present every day? Did I do my best? One of my personal questions is what percent of the day was I present and engaged? Average day I give myself about a 30 Probably lying to give myself a thirty, probably don't even deserve that. Most of the time we're not engaged, we're not present”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I do my best to be happy. It's amazing. Most people Often never think to be happy. Just too busy doing prep. So three medical doctors in my book triggers an interview. All individually by themselves, they all have IQs of a zillion. I said, how'd you do on an average day on? Did I do my best to be happy? They all had the same answer. Never done on me to try to be happy. They're medical doctors. I said, did it dawn on you or you're going to die? Did they cover that in medical school, that death thing? Did they bring that one up? Oh, yeah, they covered that death thing. I said, you think this is a silly or trivial question? He said, no, it's an important question. Just was too busy achieving things to think of in. Average person, did I do my best to be happy today on one to ten scale, 5.5 out of 10?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Unless my goal was to respond to crap all day, which I guess I did a good job of that. That was it. All I did was respond to crap all day. Question two Did I do my best to make progress toward achieving my goals? Well, every day we set up for these plans, when we do bother to make the plans, we have these grandiose plans about the day, we don't plan on anything going wrong or any distractions. We make these plans as if we live in some dreamland where everything today for once in the world is going to work out. It never does. And people get lost and confused and they forget what the plans were. It's not so easy. Number three, did I do my best to find meaning every day? Rather than wait for the world to give me meaning, did I do my best to make my life meaningful every day? Not in some abstraction or theory in terms of the real humans I'm dealing with. Number four, did I do my best to be happy?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just do these six questions every day, you're gonna have a better life. Question number one every day, evaluate yourself on a 1 to 10 scale. And every question starts with Did I do my best to? There's a reason for that. It doesn't even say you succeeded. It just said, Did you even try? You see, if I said did you do, and your answer is no, you blame the environment. It's their fault. But when I said, did you do your best to, guess what? Uh-oh. You got to look in the mirror. Me, me, me. Not so pretty. The first one is, did I do my best every day to set clear goals? That sounds pretty simple. All these big deal people I'm used to dealing with, they must get a perfect score on that every day. No, no. They wake up in the morning, email, phone call. One guy said, how did I do about setting clear goals on one to ten scale? Zero.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now he has a simultaneous MD and PhD with honors from Harvard in anthropology Normal in five years, a normal human gets a PhD in anthropology in Harvard in eight years. He owned in five years got an MD at the same time. You know what? Couldn't get it up for three minutes every day to do this after he committed to do it. Why? It's hard. Is embarrassing, it's humbling. And we did this thing over COVID. I'm going to share six basic questions that everybody had to talk about. They talked about in every meeting they would stand up and share their scores. It's like alcoholics anonymous for successful people. They would stand up and share I'm to give you the six questions I recommend for everyone. Are you ready?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Another one How many angry or destructive comments did you make about people yesterday? Well, we don't want other people stabbing us in the back. Why were we stabbing them in a back? How many steps did you take? How many pushups? How many sit ups? How much do you weigh? Did you save something nice for your wife, your son, your daughter, your grandchildren? How many minutes did you write? Those books don't write themselves. Questions about life every day. This is hard It's very hard to do. Anybody says this is easy? You've never done this. You tell me it's easy you've never done it. It is not easy. It is hard. I work with some most successful people in the world. I was just coaching one of the most successful people in the world last week. Supposed to do this every day for two weeks Made it seven days out of 14”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I will warn you in advance the report guard at the end of the week will not be as beautiful as the corporate values plaque you see stuck up on a wall. So I've been doing this for twenty five years. You do this every day and what you quickly learn you learn that life is incredibly easy to talk and life is incredibly difficult to live. You do this every day, you're not looking to those talk values. Those are beautiful. The talk values. You look at those live values. Not so pretty. Let me give you a couple examples of questions for me. For example, one of mine is, how many times yesterday did you try to prove you were right when it wasn't worth it? I don't see too many zeros on my scorecard. Kind of hard for that old professor not to be right all the time. How about you? Have you ever tried to be right just a little too much once or twice?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Get over that ego stuff. Willpower grossly overrated. Yeah, willpower. Good luck on that one. We all need help. Who are we kidding? I need help. You need help. How many of the top 10 tennis players in the world have a coach? 10. They need help now. How does this work get out of spreadsheet? On one column, you write down a series of questions that represent what is most important in your life. Could be friends, family, health, whatever it is for you, work, you write it down. Every question must be answered with a yes, a no, or a number. Yes, as recorded as a one, no, a zero, or some number, and then you have seven boxes across, one for every day of the week. So every day you fill out the little form. At the end of the week, you get a report card.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why, somebody asked me, why do you have someone call you on the phone every day? Don't you know the theory about how to change behavior? I wrote the theory about how to change behavior. That's why I have a person call me on a phone every day. What I'm going to teach you next. My name is Marshall Goldsmith Agai ranked number one leadership thinker and coach in the whole world. I have someone called me on the phone every day to make sure I do this stuff. Why? I am too cowardly to do any of the things I teach by myself. I'm too undisciplined to do any things I teach by myself. I need help and it's okay. Who are we kidding here? We all need help.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I am going to share a tool with you. Are you ready? I am now going to teach you and your listeners something that takes three minutes a day. It costs absolutely nothing. and will help anyone listen get better at almost anything Some people are skeptical now three minutes a day costs nothing help me get better at almost anything this sounds ridiculous too good to be true Half the people had started doing this quit within two weeks And they do not quit because it does not work. They quit because it does work. What I'm going to teach you next is incredibly easy to understand. It is incredibly difficult to do. I've had a person call me on the phone almost every day for twenty five years to make sure I do this.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, you're going to work out, well, see the TV show, you get distracted. Things happen. And so it takes a lot of discipline to go through life and just be aware of when am I controlling it and what is it controlling me? And by the way, a lot of it is unconscious, the beer example. You know, you are not aware of the fact that Bedweiser is sitting there in your brain making you want to buy beer. They are. You're just not aware of it. And the more we're open to the fact that we can be manipulated by the environment, the less likely we are to be controlled by the environment. The more we deny the fact that we can be controlled by the environment, the easier it is to be controlled.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When and then you start becoming aware of it and say what can I do so that these unwanted triggers change my life because what happens is we all wake up with this dream of what we're going to do every day. Things happen And these triggers usually don't push us toward becoming the person we want to become. They usually push us away from that person. For example, you're going to go in the diet. Smell the bacon, you see the cake.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And they didn't interview the basketball team that lost from a mathematical perspective. This is called the Survivor Bias. You know, they did this, they are successful. Yeah, you did this too, and you're a complete failure. So if you envision it, it will happen. Well, if you envision things, you probably increase the odds are going to happen, but there's certainly no guarantee it's going to happen because you envision it. I mean, that's to me childish. The opposite is you have no control. And B.F. Skinner, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote a book Beyond Freedom and Dignity years ago, a very famous book. He said, we're just strictly creatures that are a function of our environment. We're like a stimulus response machine. What I believe is we control it and it controls us. To a degree, we are controlled by the world. And to a degree, we do make a difference ourselves. So I think the purpose of the book is just to move the scale a little bit so you're a little bit more in control and the world's a little bit less in control. And the first thing you do is you realize, when am I being controlled by the environment?”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Number two is, I control it. Now there's a ridiculous book called The Secret. Did you ever read that book, The Secret? Now, it's a ridiculous book. It's sold 7 million copies or more. And the essence of the book is the secret is if I envision it, it will happen. See, that's it. That's the secret. I'll tell you what the secret is. You sold 7 million copies. If I envision it, it will happen. And they have all these studies they've done. Well, like Jimmy wanted to win the basketball team. basketball game or championship and he envisioned it happen and Mary wanted to be a movie star and she envisioned it would happen and Harry had cancer and he envisioned it went away and it did by the way every story in the book is true here's the problem they didn't interview the dead people they didn't interview the thousand waitresses”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“As we go through life, there's an argument. I control it or it controls me. That's the great existential debate of life. Two schools of thought. If we look at two dimensions, one dimension is the environment controls me. I am controlled by triggers in my environment. What is a trigger? Any stimulus that may impact our behavior? Could be a sight, a sound, a person, a thought. Any stimulus impacts my behavior is called a trigger. So one school of thought is we are controlled by our environment. B. F. Skinner, the brilliant Harvard psychologist, thought that. The other school of thought is we control it. So let's talk about four dimensions. Dimension one is low uncontrolled by others, low on control by self. Chaos theory. And you have some smart people believe life is basically random chaos.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I wrote a book about this one called Triggers. Triggers. Now, by the way, this book I'm just doing now, The Earn Life is number 49, and I've done six bestsellers, three New York Times bestsellers, one megabig bestseller. And I have also, though I have published 42 books that were purchased only by my mother, my father, and my relatives. Hopefully this one will get purchased by a few people. So I've sold about two and a half million books. So somebody bought a lot of them, but most of them nobody bought. But this book triggers, I talk about that.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“For what? And by the way, here's the point. Let's give me, in this case, study the leader of the benefit of the doubt. Let's say there's an 80% chance my decision is a better chance, better decision. There's still a 20% chance your decision is better. Now my decision is, in theory, the right decision. On the other hand, there's a 20% chance I'm wrong. And your decision is a better decision. That's life. It's not like engineering school. We're just guessing here. We're all just guessing. And sometimes I'm going to make a good guess and sometimes a bad guess. And sometimes I make the right decision and it didn't work. Because of other variables I can't control. I made the best decision at the time, and it still didn't work. That's why life happens.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want to do decision Y for the following reasons, which we've discussed. You want to do decision X for the following reasons, which we've also discussed. And you're a very smart man, and you've got some good rationale behind what you're talking about. In this case, I've made a decision I still want to do why. You say I disagree. I say well in this case, we do disagree, and I respect you, and I still wonder why. You say, well, I think you're wrong. You know what I say? Maybe I am And by the way, if I'm not wrong this time, I'm going to be wrong sometime. I respect you, I value your opinion, I've thought about it, and I've made the decision, and here it is. And I want you to execute it in the best way you can. If you have any problems, tell me what they are, and we'll discuss it. Yet, are we going to do this? It's been decided.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want making better decisions. Well, the first thing I've learned is a decision maker makes a decision. And let's talk about when you are the decision maker. If you are the decision maker, this Peter Drucker thing still applies. Now, I'm the decision maker, and you come to me. And let's say we disagree. All right, what do I do? I breathe, and I think, okay, we disagree. I can either do it my way or his way. If it's close, my advice is probably do it your way. You're more committed, you believe in what you're doing, and fine, assuming it's pretty close. But let's assume I think this is really serious and we disagree, and I don't want to do it your way. That's fine. That's fine. You know what I say? I'd say, you know, Mr. X. In this case,”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And ironically, Fred and I are going out tonight. I'm in Nashville now, and Fred's kid's playing a rock band, so I'm going to see Fred after I talk to you and we're going to go out and see his kids in a rock band tonight.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What I tell you, I may save your sorry butt. If you do not do exactly what I tell you, I got to go back to Daddy and Mommy in New York and say I can't help little Freddy. And then Fred, I say, he needs a better coach. Fred, there isn't a better coach, is there? They're just screwed, aren't you, Fred? So it's it going to be Fred Fred, you know what he did? He salutes the flag and says, thank you. That was twelve years he was a CEO of that company did a great job never had a problem, got along with corporate very well. He just had a little bit of ego issue. And he would tell you that conversation changed his life. By the way, I don't know exactly, but I got paid approximately $150,000 for that two-hour conversation. You know what? They didn't care. Save them a whole lot more than $150,000.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Fred, 41 year old Fred. Oh no, can't tell me I'm CEO they cannot tell me what to do. I am the CEO, you see. You know, Henry Krabbitz, who's worth billions of dollars, can't tell Fred what to do. Sorry, Fred. Let's grow up, son. So anyway, they figure out how much it costs to get rid of Fred. A couple million bucks. They don't even care about the couple million bucks. It's a pain in the butt. Now they got to hire somebody new, start over. Oh, they're in a foul mood. So they had me talk to Fred. So I told Fred this whole Peter Drucker thing about the decisions and power and all this stuff. So Fred says, well, they can't tell me what to do. I said, Fred, I'm going to help you, buddy. It's their money, you moron. Now I said, Fred. I said, Fred, not only can they tell you what to do. You know what, Fred? I'm going to tell you exactly what to do. And Fred, if you do exactly.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“By the way, I have repeated this thousands of times to people with MBAs from Harvard, CEOs of multibillion dollar companies. I have just repeated this lesson over and over. So few of us ever get this deeply. One guy, I'm going to see him tonight, in fact. My buddy Fred is here in Nashville tonight. He's visiting. Fred is a great success story. So Fred's an old friend of mine. Fred was CEO of a company that was owned by a company called KKR private equity. You know what KKR is? Anyway, KKR, yeah, New York people, would you say a squishy people or a little bit bottom line oriented? So Fred is the CEO. He's 41 at the time. So he's a CEO of this KKR company. You know what Fred says about KKR? 41-year-old young Fred CEO.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Every decision is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that. If I need to influence you and you have the power to make the decision and I need to influence you to make a positive difference, there is one word to describe you. That word is called customer. There's one word to describe me. That word is called salesperson. Customers do not have to buy salespeople have to sell. You sell what you can sell. You change what you can change. If you can sell it, you sell it. If you can't, if you can change it, you change it. If you cannot sell it and you cannot change it, Let it go, let it go. And if you don't like it, leave. But as long as you're cash in that check at the end of the month. You sell what you can sell, you change what you can change, and you make peace.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you're going to be better at influencing the world. Are you ready for this great learning point from Peter Drucker? Are we ready? Number one, our mission in life is to make a positive difference, not to prove we're smart and not to prove we're right. We are not here on earth to prove how smart we are. We are not here on earth to prove how right we are. We are here to make a positive difference in life. If we do not make a positive difference, it is absolutely irrelevant how smart or right we are. Number two. Every decision in life is made by the person who has the power to make the decision make peace with that. Not the smartest person, the best person, a fair person, a logical person, a wonderful person, a rational person, or even a sane person.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now breathing, breathing, breathing. What did you just say? This is hardwired as if somehow this is a genetic, unchangeable variable. Don't think that way. It's not hardwired. Can change Anybody can change as long as you say it's hardwired, why even bother? It's genetic, there's nothing you're going to do about it. If it's hardwired, you can't change it. We can all change. So don't think hardwired or in the DNA or any of those phrases. We can all change. Now, I'm going to teach you something to Peter Drucker taught me, and you can share this when I'm share it with everyone who's listening. If you learn nothing from me but this one little thing You're going to have a happier life. You're going to deal with differences better.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm positive, he said. That little box there, that's a tape recorder. Tape recorder It has a rewind button Why don't we just hit the rewind button and hear you? He said yeah, let's do this rewind and he hears of you so no Then his story gets better Then he goes home and he listens to the tape goes what an ass, right? And then he talks to it gets worse and he says to his wife I don't do this to you do I He wrote the nicest story though Because he wrote the story said this story I was going to talk about what a bunch of jerks they were Well, maybe I should look in the mirror.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's hard for winners not to win. So I've raised thousands and thousands of dollars doing this with my clients. And it just works great. The New York Post wrote a story about my book and what got you here won't get you there when I was young. And this interviewer had a real chip on his shoulder. Business people are jerks and have to hire some clown like me to help them. And, you know, they're all losers and idiots. So after about five minutes, I said, you think they're bad, you're terrible. Every sentence you start as no button, however, all you do is argue and prove you're right. He said, well, that's wrong. I said, well, starting now, anytime you do this, I'm going to say 20 bucks. I said, well, bud, 20, 40, 60, 80. And he goes, no. I said, well, you said, no. He said, well, I did not say no. I said, yes, you did. I said, no, I didn't. Well, you did. He said, I did not. I said, oh, you're sure.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What happens is I'm coaching him. The money goes the same charity. $40, $60. You know what he said? This is expensive. Excuse me, you're talking about you just donated $340 million to this charity two days ago, and now you're telling me $20 is expensive. What is wrong with you? He goes, oh, I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. Sure, you forget. How do you forget donating $340 million? Let me tell you the difference. My friend. Standing up in front of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett and every newspaper in India write a personal check for three hundred forty million dollars and giving it to poor people. You know what that's called in life winning. Winning twenty dollars losing. He didn't care about $20. Care about 340 million dollars. What does he care about”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Somebody said, rich old men, would rich old men like to lose small amounts of money? No. Rich old men don't like to lose any money, I can tell you. They hate losing money. So it's amazing how well this works. And the money goes to a charity they choose. Like one guy going, you know, 20, 40, 60, 80, 10. He said, this is expensive. I said, you made $35 million last year. This $20 is going to the little homeless child. Shut up. Shut up. He said you're right. It's embarrassing. And one of the guys I've coached you is Mr. Jim Route. Mr. Jim Row is a billionaire, just a great guy lives in India. He donated. Bill Gates flies to India with Warren Buff for the talk rich people and given money to the poor. Nice idea, right? So my friend Mr. Jim Row donates $340 million to poor people in India out of his pocket. Very generous man.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is a great tool to help you be a better listener and be more open-minded. Just never start a sentence with three words. No, but or however. If you talk to me and I say no, first word no, shut you're wrong, but what does butt mean? Disregard everything you said. Just erases whatever you said. A terrible habit. So one of my clients is stubborn and opinionated. And by the way, my clients, if they do this, I find them $20. So he says, and the money goes to a charity. So he says, you know, you think $20 where they care about $20 or rich people. Yeah, you're right. A lot of them are men. Yeah. I'm going to help you.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and frequently a lot of people don't understand this for the people I coach. You think their jobs are glamorous? A lot of their jobs are boring. There listened to presentation after presentation after presentation, everything that's been sanitized, they've already seen everything 20 times. They probably know what the person's going to say, yet they need to be upbeat and positive and appear interested. That's not easy to do.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I am not I'm in an award ceremony. Okay, somebody died. That's not now. It's not fair to that person who's getting the award that I'm still at the funeral. I'm not at the funeral anymore. I'm here. I'm here. Where do I need to be here? When now? And it's very hard to do this. It takes a lot of discipline to do this, but it's really a sign of someone who's a great leader that has the discipline to do that.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, that's right. That's right. And you can In touch with someone, but you don't have to agree with them. And also, you can't live there. See, the people I coach, they may play like nine roles or ten roles in a day. I mean, they wake up, they have to do a performance appraisal. They have to make a board presentation. They have to go to a funeral. They have to have an award ceremony. All day they're in these different roles. And they just can't carry it with them. Can't they have to let go of that previous role? I got to be where I am now.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wonderful story. So I have him work with people at the children's hospital to help them. Let me give you an irony. I'm working in a children's hospital in San Diego. With him as volunteers. He's teaching a class. We're teaching the class about empathy. And I said, well, I'm sure you must have had medical doctors have had lots of training about this topic. You know what the answer was? Never been trained at all on this topic. and they're around dine kids. So, you know, you really need to think what does empathy mean, when is it useful, when is it not useful? And they were so appreciative to even have somebody try to teach them about this.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm going to be who I need to be now, and one of the guys in our group, Telly Lung, I don't know if you ever saw the play Aladdin. But anyway, he played Aladdin on Broadway for three years, literally a thousand performances. He did Aladdin. So I asked Telly, how'd you do it night after night after night? He said, I had to become the ro. Now he said, I'm gay, but I had to fall in love with that princess every night. And the way I motivated myself is he said, when I was a little boy, I was eight years old and I went to a play. And it was so touching and singing and music and lights. And I just loved it. And he said, every night I get it there on stage. You know what I think? That eight-year-old kid. For you. This is for you, kid, and Maybe I've done the play a thousand times. The kid has not seen it a thousand times.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Fix everybody else's problems. I create dependency. They become like children and they don't take responsibility because I'm always taking care of them. So, if we look at empathy, the key, and this goes back to recognizing people how and when, is I talk about the term in the book called Singular Empathy. And what does that mean? I'm going to be who I need to be for the person I'm with now. I'm going to be who I need to be now. I'm not carrying around the past. I'm not sitting there trying to prove how heroic I am.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I started thinking, you know, wow, this is somebody's retirement account and your healthcare and they need this money. I started caring. You said I became much less effective. Afraid to take risks. He said, I don't invest other people's money anymore. I just invest my own. If I lose, I lose. I win. I win. It's not that big a deal. I don't want to invest money because I'm not as good. Medical doctors, you can't operate on your family. Why? Care too much. Care too much. Sometimes you got to let go of that carrying. And then the final is the vital part of empathy is doing. I not only maybe know what you're coming from or care or feel your pain, I'm doing something to help you. Could be good. But one of the people in our group, she said, I'm a fixer.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And he's being interviewed by another hedge fund manager. I'm just sitting there because I was a previous speaker before him. I'm just sitting there just curious to listen. And he asked the guy, why don't you have a fund anymore? The big guy said, I'm not as good as I used to be. The other guys will, why not? He said, well, you know, I've made obviously tens of billions or hundreds of billions of dollars for people, but I've also lost tens or hundreds of billions. I probably made $51 or 52% and lost 48 or 49. That's pretty good. And obviously, I have a few billion left over for me. That's pretty good. And he said, I never cared. Just make investments as an analyst and play a game and I was good at it. And he said, one day I started caring.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You can see kids die of cancer every He gets to see their parents. He can't carry that home. He can't live with that pain. If he does, he can't do his job. So it could be good, it could be bad. The next is the same thing, the empathy of caring. You think caring is good? Well, caring can be very positive. I care about you. I try to help you. Can be very negative. I have a very fun example in the book about the empathy of caring with of all people a hedge fund manager. Now you think the last person to worry about caring about people too much would be a hedge fund manager. You know the stereotype of a hedge manager. Anybody doesn't care about people. They would be at the top of the charts. This is one of the most famous hedge fund managers in the world.”
2022-07-12 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT