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Matt Spielman

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2022-07-15
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2022-07-15
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  1. On a day to day basis, not only the happier and more fulfilled you'll be and the more energy you'll have, but the more success you'll have, the greater outcomes will be produced. So we tend to focus from a position of strength. And that is a wonderful assessment. There's a free version and there's a much more rich 48-page version, a paid version.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. Yeah, so I appreciate that opportunity. The URL, the website for the book is www.theinflectionpointsbook.com, the inflectionpointsbook.com. There, if somebody wants to reach out to me or anybody on the team, you can do that. And we welcome people reaching out. The book provides free resources where you can download all of the tools, all the templates, all the questions that Trey was asking and the game plan that we were talking about earlier. I do go back to something I said earlier. There's a wonderful free assessment that everybody can use. It's called Via. And I believe it's ViaCaracter.org. And it will rank the way you answer the questions. It'll rank your character traits from 1 to 24 based upon kind of the energy that you have around those. And your top five are your signature strengths. And the science behind it is the more you use your signature strengths.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. Yeah. So before those questions and some of those questions that you ask are sent to the client prior to session one, and we usually give the person, let's say three to five days to ingest, marinate, think about, and then an answer, and then send ahead of time and the coach spends time, you know, reading, understanding, and sort of sets up how we're going to think about. I sort of think about that's a little bit of the cement to the foundation that we were talking about earlier. And it sets up how we're going to approach conversation one and informs the partnership more broadly. And you can tell even from some of my answers, where even the question about disappointment, where I framed, I talked to you about it, you could actually get into, hey, well, you know, what happened? Tell me about that. And oh, you, so you don't think about this formula. Tell me how you think about things. How might we use that in our discussion here? So it's really good fodder for important key incisive questions that drive the partnership forward.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. I want to do a TED talk. That's something that I really want to do. I'd like to boil a lot of what it is that I've learned and experienced in the 3100 coaching conversations into 12 minute, 16 minute, 18-minute discussion.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. It's almost like I've been shot out of a cannon. And I use the words energized, enthusiasm, excitement was sort of, I think about the three E's and sort of leads me to like.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. Tend to think about things like that because that's just part of the story. It's what the follow on is the response, which is the really important thing.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. So I normally don't think about things like that. Knee-jerk reaction would say would answer that question as in my sophomore year of college, I was a starting shortstop for the team and I subsequently played really poorly and I talk a lot about the why and after the first 13 games I was benched, watched the rest of the 33 games from the bench and I lost my starting job and I had to sort of kind of win it back. And that was a real disappointment. The reason why I troubled answering the question a little bit is I don't think about it in that frame because that's not where the story ends. You know, I shoulder surgery after the season, managed through the rehab and getting back on the field and telling the coach that I'm kind of winning the starting shortstop job job back. And he mentioned to me, well, okay, Matt, we'll see. We'll see the performance on the field. And I did. So the balance of the story is my junior and senior year. I did play baseball, standing at shortstop, you know, playing in each one of the games.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. I'm most proud of the relationship with my wife over the last 22 years. And we are true partners to each other. There are times when her career was in the foreground and I was in a little bit of the background. And then that switched and we're constantly looking out for one another and sort of fueling what the other person sort of wants to do. And I certainly know that I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today in terms of and having made this transition without her support. And we have two boys who are they're 18 and 17 and they're fine young men who are good to the core. And I'm most proud of that. And that feels the best. To the point earlier about having the desire to listen to oneself and the courage to act upon it, I am really proud of the transition I made at age 44, going back to school and then launching this sort of second act, as it were.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. In the coaching conversation, and then the coaching partnership, which is why the A in the achieve model is really, really important because it's what can we action against? And notice before I said something about positioning ourselves for promotion, we wouldn't necessarily say, you know, I'm going to get promoted by the end of the year. We'd phrase it differently. We may not actually have the control over that, but we want to do what we can to position ourselves for that. And I think that was one of the key things that I focused on as a Little E coach and in my conversations. And yeah, it's sort of a universal theme.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. There are a lot of similarities. And Alex aside, and we use sort of baseball metaphors as often as we possibly can. We share that sort of interest and passion and a little bit of our background there. But I would say one of the biggest lessons, and I was a president of the Little League and I coached 16 teams from seven years old to 13 years old. And we really focused on control the controllables. There's so much out of our control, right? But what is in our control is Do we get a good night's sleep the night before? Do we try to quiet the noise around us as we're walking through the plate? Do we think about maybe, you know, what happened last game that may have worked or didn't work? And do we get down in our stance in the field and ready ourselves for the ball? We can't control what the pitcher throws. We can't control how the ball bounces before we sort of field it. And maybe there's an error, something like that. So we really focused on control the controllables. And that's exactly what we do.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. Goal is an outcome. By the end of this quarter, what is it that we want to have seen produced? And oftentimes when I first started doing this with clients and they were creating these goals, I actually phrased it in a tense where it was by the end of this year, we will have brought about a certain outcome. So we sort of put ourselves in that future point and then the tasks or the action items which are on the game plan and the actions, those are the specifics that bring us closer to achieving those goals. And they work in service of bringing about that outcome. So I think about goals as an outcome that we want to bring about and a task to actually work in service of those goals.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. Yeah. So if we need to understand a little bit more about what is realistic and what is within the realm of possibility, sometimes that could become a coaching conversation for us to determine, is that realistic? Is it too unrealistic? And we may seek an outside expert. I will say that from the school of positive psychology and area that I studied, that if the goal is too easy to achieve and you actually achieve it, it actually becomes a little bit more hurtful to your self-esteem because you sort of achieve it like, well, I probably should have achieved it anyway. And the science actually says that if we reach a little bit higher, then we might be comfortable and we sort of aim for the sun and maybe we land on the moon, you know, something along those lines, and maybe we fall a little bit short, but to how we feel and our self-esteem, it actually increases and it's a really positive feeling. So if there's a decision point of

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. Sudden or not cliche anymore. And then we execute like crazy against that game plan. And it establishes a bit of an agenda for when we check in and we have our coaching session, which is a natural question. Trey, it's how are we doing against the goal? What's working well? What are some of the things that are getting in the way? We also had times revisit the goals and oftentimes with clients, sometimes they'll create two to three versions in a given year because they've achieved

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. And then the final E is endpoint or the time horizon. So when do we want to have brought about this goal? So each of the goals on this laminated single page document, and we have four goals, needs to abide by that achieve model. Now, it may sound a little bit like the smart goals that some people may have used before, the acronyms Smart. And I just believe that SMART was lacking in several places. And I went back to the 1950s and Latham, who are the goal setting experts and read a lot of their work. And I infused a smart goal approach with this new acronym called Achieve. So this document houses the four goals and we laminate that. We move to step three, which is we identify if the partner is open to it, key stakeholders in his or her life that he can give this game plan to to create that accountability, to create that transparency, to create that alignment. You know, three cliche terms that in business that all of a sudden,

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. They need to be meaningful and consequential to you, as we spoke about earlier. So the A is for action oriented, the C is for consequential, the H of achieve, and this is part of a larger acronym, this is the achieve goal setting model. The H is hard but not Herculean. So it's a stretch goal. The I is an integrated goal. If there's more than one goal, the ideal scenario for us to give us the greatest chance to come about is that working in service of one goal increases the chances of another goal happening. So if I'm positioning myself for promotion in one goal and I really want to learn a computer programming language because I'm really interested in it, those are integrated goals in theory because learning that computer language could help me position myself for promotion. The E in the Achieve is it needs to be specific or explicit. V is let's tap into the power of visualization. Athletes have been doing it for decades. Why not all of us?

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. And it provides, so that's the generate awareness in oneself and what really what I'm about and what really drives me and also awareness of other people and why other people might do things as well. Sort of pouring the cement to the foundation, as it were, right? So that's sort of step one. Step two is we create this document, a single page, and I often laminate it document think football coach in college on Saturday or football coach on Sunday in the NFL. And those are the plays that are going to win that particular game. And they could change from week to week if they're, you know, 16 games or 12 games in college or something like that. But think about that document housing four goals. Usually it's four goals, could be three, could be five. And there are multiple components to that goal. And we use a goal achieving model that speaks to goals that these are goals that you can action against. So 300 sunny days in Colorado next year is not something that you could do anything about.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. Yeah, so the game plan system or GPS, the double entendre is intentional because it's intended to provide direction for you. And yeah, in the book, people can download all the tools. And it's really a three-step process, which makes it a system. And I'll talk about the actual game plan that was just sort of the middle step. But it follows a lot of what we've been talking about so far, which is the first step is we need to gather information. And there's formal and informal information that we gather. The informal information comes from questions that we ask, the coaching conversation, kind of like some of the questions that we were sort of trading back and forth here today. Some of the formal information come from assessments. So that could be the NBI, could be the MBTI or Meyers Briggs, it could be the VIA or VIA values and actions, which ranks somebody's strengths from 1 to 24. And it's a free assessment that I encourage everybody to do. You can go to via character.org. I'm not mistaken.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. People have had that we talk to have rich experiences that we can dive into. And they could be negative, neutral, or really positive, but we can learn things from them.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. People generally come with an idea of what it is that they want to do and multiple things that they want to do. They come with a point of view. And then it's our job to explore the contours of that, kind of the drivers behind that, and then get a little bit even more clear about what that could be, what about that would be important to them, how might that positively impact their life. But they generally come with a point of view. And the purpose puzzle that I spoke about earlier is a wonderful mechanism to get at nine facets or pieces of your life that may affect how you're feeling on a day-to-day basis. And that was the life partner, career, and friends and health and community and finances and physical environment and family and spirituality, et cetera. And in and around that, people have pretty strong feelings about things that they may want to dive into, want to bring about. And those are the good starting points. Those are good starting points. And we go back to, you know, when was a time in your life when you felt, you know, like all these people.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. So we do visioning of what could they see themselves doing becoming, realizing, achieving, and what context over what time frame. And that's the work, Trey, to your point, like below the waterline, that that's the really important part. The people that we're talking to, they can execute like crazy against these things quite successfully. It's the time, the important time is spent up front, kind of the pouring the cement to the foundation, the very why part, the very unsexy part, and the often the most overlooked part.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. The window shades and all that stuff. So I think about the pouring the cement to the foundation as the why. And we need to start on why, as Simon Sinek said. Then the architectural plans of what it's going to look like is the what, right? What is going to sit on top of that house? What is that going to look like? What could that manifest into? What could that be? And then the building of the house is actually, it may take the longest, most physical labor, and it's tiring, exhausting for those who are doing it, but that's probably the easiest part. That's the how. So it's almost like the ready is the why, the aim. What are we sort of going towards is the what? And then the fire is the how we're going to kind of bring that about. And the why is often the most overlooked part, which is why we slow down. There are a couple of different exercises we do. We want people to understand themselves a little bit more, their preferences, their behaviors, their predilections, what drives them, what interests them, what excites them, what energizes them. And then we get.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. Yeah. So I think about it as, which is I mentioned earlier the slowing down to go faster. And I think there is especially the people that you're referencing and the group that you're in and the people that I talk to are really kind of very motivated, high achievers and they want to jump right into action. But we don't just leave the driveway without plugging in the coordinates of where we want to go because then we're just sort of driving around aimlessly using fuel, which doesn't make much sense. But I understand why it happens. I think about it as if we use the metaphor for a house. And we need to spend time excavating the land and pouring the cement to the foundation. Very unsexy work. Wildly important. And that's where the word sort of foundational came from because the rest of the house sits upon that. And then we look at the architectural plans and then we're like, okay, we need to build a house on top of this. And then we need to ultimately complete that house and do all the fixtures and the finer things.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. They played hard. They gave it everything they had. And I saw that kind of firsthand as shortstop, coming over the bag, turning a double play. Their job is to take me out so I could not complete the double play and get the out at first base. And there was one particular time where we're playing Army and I came across the bag and the runner did his job and he took me out and I did not complete the play. He played hard and he did what he needed to do. He was stern and he took me out. And when I was on the ground, He extended a hand and he lifted me up. And I feel like, you know, we have a job to do in our coaching partnership, client coach. And we agree upon our outcomes that we're going to work towards and that we're going to hold the partnership accountable. We're going to create goals. We're going to document the goals. And I'm going to be supportive and I'm going to encourage and yes, you know, empathic and sympathetic. And I'm going to challenge. And we're going to bring about the opportunity.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. I read a lot about Bill's approach and how he put two executives together and sort of went at both of them. And until they resolved something. And that worked very well in that context, especially coming from him, the elder statesman in the valley who had done it before in his 60s and 70s. And that was an amazingly effective style for him. Maybe it's my sports background and I can be supportive. And I think that's really what you were saying earlier. I could be supportive and I could be really stern and I could be really tough. And it is really all about performance and achieving our mutually agreed upon expectations. I'll share with you there's many story. In college, I played baseball and I loved playing the military academies. And I derived some of my, I'm going somewhere with this, which is my style is derived from and can be seen from the following story. So in college, I played baseball and I really enjoyed playing against the military academies, Army and Navy.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. Yeah, so often very much, and that's actually where my work experience helps a lot. And now everybody who works on our coaching roster has work experience. That's really important. Matt, I've been so successful. I'm a managing partner and I was able to get the next 10 years of that firm and that firm success, that person needs to adopt a different way of doing things because what got that person there is not going to get the person in the next five or ten years of the future of that firm. Those are conversations that we talk about. And that's really tough because they're really good at the things that got them there and they need to maybe shed some of those or the D word delegation. And then there's developing new habits. Matt, I got to figure out a way to work out in the morning because my afternoons, my evenings are just too busy. So developing new habits is something that we talk about a lot. And that's one of those where the accountability partnership is super important because it's a 30 to 45 day type of thing. It doesn't just switch just doesn't go off one day.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. Challenging or difficult or sensitive conversations. So we often may think that we go in one side of a difficult conversation that it comes really naturally to the other person who's maybe delivering feedback or whatever, what might be a really sensitive could be laying somebody off or whatever the case may be. You didn't get promoted today. I'm here to tell you a little bit of a secret. They wrestle with that, period. So we spend a lot of conversations, coaching conversations, thinking about they're pretty clear on the what needs to take place in the conversation. We talk through about the why the conversation needs to take place. We spend the bulk of our time on the how. And oftentimes they want to push to like the by, when. Generally, it should happen sooner rather than later. And they want to push it out, but we don't let that accountability partner. So I would think that's the second one.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. I would say that a meaningful percentage is centers around how to better manage my time and my energy. And I'm often speaking to people who they have resources, they have means, and what they don't necessarily have or none of us has is infinite amount of time and energy, in fact, quite the contrary. Energy kind of renews each day. time that we have 24 hours a day and we can't get any more of that so in this world where there's infinite opportunity, infinite noise, infinite noise, it's super important to find the signals. So that's one that comes up is how do we best manage our finite amount of time and energy? The other is interesting, kind of surprised me because I recently, somebody asked me this question maybe six months ago and I hadn't, it was more anecdotal was my answer. And I started keeping track after that of, you know, what topics are people bringing to the coaching conversations? The second one is preparing for challenges.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. Really important. Coaches ask what or how questions. What about that would be meaningful to you? How might we want to go about that? How can we envision that coming about? Why tends to trigger a bit of defensiveness? I mean, oftentimes, you know, a parent, I almost think about why is, you know, why weren't you home at 11? Like there's a bit of that. And that's the last thing we want to do in this really special, it could be an intimate relationship of, you know, both sides are really open and really listening and hearing one another. The last thing we want to put up is any kind of a barrier. There are different ways to get at that, but the what or the how questions can be magical and be really powerful. And you just get much better information.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. Month I have check-ins every month with people, it really varies. But I do think that some form of regular cadence, to your point earlier about the accountability I think is important.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. Think that step three is be open to the mantra, which we use all the time here as somebody who likes action and jumps into things really quickly, is I think we need to slow down in order to go faster before we, like session one, we don't like start crafting goals and writing down what I think we need to understand what I was talking about earlier, which is our values, how I see the world, what matters to me, what would be meaningful and consequential, why, for what reasons, what are the outcomes that are, you know, what do I see? Where do I see my life in five years and ten years? I'm working with a client now who wants to create a 50-year vision and he's 47. And we don't just jump into goals. We actually slow down, take a deep breath, go within, go through a couple of exercises in order for us to go faster. That would be step three. And then the rest kind of, you know, that regular cadence that works for that coaching partnership and it's different. Could be every week. It could be a check-in every day. I have check-ins with every day with some folks. Could be every

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. Chemistry is important. I also think you're going to do yourself a service if you find a coach who has been through rigorous training because there really are. So there's not only a lot of great learnings going through the training and there's a lot of sort of practice coaching and being coached. You also have access to a lot of people in your cohort who are really serious about it and you check in with and they ask you about your coaching and they can ask questions. So I think finding the right partner is I would say it's step two. Step one tray where I've seen the partnership not work as well is if it doesn't come from within, which is a bit of a constant theme of today. Sometimes let's say a spouse may say Matt, I think you should consider coat again the should part. I think you should consider coaching and then that person reaches out to a coach and talks to a bunch and hires one and starts working. But it didn't really come from that person. You know, first step is to admit that that person really wants to partner with somebody. That's sort of step one. Step two is find the right person. And I do think.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. fill in the blank. How's that going? What's working for you there? Let's identify that. Let's do more of that. What are some of the things that are getting in the way? What are the blockages? What are the friction points? Let's identify those and let's try to create workarounds there. So yes, the articulation of the meaningful and consequential goal to that person, sharing it creates really important accountability. And I think the way goals are set and often not achieved is unfortunate and often, you know, New Year's resolutions by the third week in January, most of them have gone by the wayside and that that's really unfortunate. So we try to do almost the exact opposite of that and create a whole system around it.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. A really big part of it, and I do a lot of work within organizations. And I recently was just last week I was walking out of the office and the managing partner said to me, Matt, we just like everybody there at the firm created one of these game plans that I talk a lot about in the book and each of the clients creates. And he said, just having you here, I feel like it just holds us accountable. Like you're walking around, you all know what our goals are because they've all shared them and sharing goals is the platinum standard for goal achieving because it creates accountability, transparency, and alignment. And I know what they all are. So yes, that just knowing that I'm there, knowing that, and whether it's I or a coach or a spouse or a son or a friend, if you've shared your goals with him, her or them, just them knowing that and that the person may check in and sort of see how we patiently against that goal. You know, you mentioned you were whatever the goal may be. What progress have you made against that? You mentioned you were get to the gym sort of three or four times a week. Or you mentioned that you were going to.

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. Do is, you know, I sort of like pretend take off my coaching hat and I sort of slide over and I take on a different persona and I say, well, if I'm presenting to that board of directors tomorrow, and these were my objectives as we discussed, I might approach it like this, this, and this, you know, and then I go back to my coach and say, how does that land on you? And then, you know, I'll say, well, that's not really my style. Well, tell me about your style, you know, something like that. And then there are certainly instances, Trey, where I move from coach to more of an advisor, consultant, mentor, and I say, I actually

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. Through you have a partner there who's encouraging you, who's supporting you, who's challenging you, who you may want to pull over at the quick stop and have fast food. I may say, well, I know you're hungry. What are some other options along the way type of thing that might be a little bit more healthful choices for you? So it's that type of a partnership. And actually, the word coach, the derivation of the word coach is this. We both get in this sort of vessel of movement at the point of origination together. And the stagecoach then through the power of the partnership moves forward to that desired point of destination. But it's really driven by you. Now, I'm not going to say, yes, we ask Socratic questions. We really listen. We really hear, as I mentioned earlier, which is really rare. And we really try to ladder up to various outcomes. There are instances when a client may say to me, so Matt, I'm presenting to the board tomorrow. And we're talking about my preparation. How would you go about it?

    2022-07-15 · We Study Billionaires · TIP464: The Billionaire Coach's Playbook W/ Matt Spielman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. For you and sprinkle some of those ingredients into the current situation. Anyway, so that's the therapist versus coach, and they're actually more similar than different. But what a coach is not and the way we are trained, and really in most programs, I think they abide by this, is it's not directive. It's not prescriptive. It's not giving the advice. It's not telling you what to do. That's not necessarily learning that sustained learning. It's more of the empowerment model. It's more, as I say, it's more reflective than it is directive. So it's really, I would picture, it's the way I think about it, is if we're in a car together, you are behind the steering wheel, your hands are on the wheel, your right foot's on the gas, you know, right foot could be on the brake, and your left foot could be on the clutch for those who still drive manual. I'm in the passenger seat. You've determined through our conversations where you ventured your GPS coordinates of where you want to go. And you're navigating, you're driving.

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  37. So let me take the therapist versus coach. I actually think they're more similar than different. I think the main difference is, and this is broadly speaking, so I may get texts or emails after this. And I welcome them, but therapists and psychotherapy in general tends to look at today looking backwards. And coaching tends to look at today going forward. The coaching conversation and the coaching partnership is absolutely therapeutic and people hang up the phone or close the Zoom or end the in-person meeting with more energy. There's more intentionality to their day. There's more conviction to their actions. And it's very therapeutic, but it's definitely not therapy. We don't get into sort of childhood trauma or certain blockages. We will go back and say, well, we may look at a particular instance that mirrors what's happening today, what you may have done in that particular instance, what worked well.

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  38. Found the most rigorous coaching program because I feel like the coaching profession can be squishy. Anybody can call him or herself a coach. There aren't necessarily like if you want to be a doctor, you can't just walk around saying that you're a doctor or similar with a lawyer and therapist, et cetera. So I wanted to make it as rigorous as possible, not only because I want to work in service of my clients, but I also want to message to my clients or my partners that I take this craft seriously and I'm going to invest the time, the energy, and the significant financial resources to do that. So I entered the Columbia Coaching Certification program back in 2016 in May. And then I, you know, after that, I launched Inflection Point Partners in August of 2016. And the training continued. I complemented that with that experience with going down to Duke and Durham and studying in the medical school there and becoming a board certified health and wellness coach study at the Duke School of Integrated Medicine and then other sort of trainings and follow on certifications from there because there are various things.

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  39. That was really, really important part of the process for me. I sort of viewed launching myself as an executive, organizational career coach as a three-legged stool. And I felt like I did have the two legs and I needed to add the third. The first leg was I felt like 20 years of work experience would help me kind of be a little bit more empathic and understand the situation that my clients are in and hiring and firing and presenting to boards and raising capital and exiting and that kind of stuff. So that's sort of leg one. Second leg was just I discovered along the way we talked about a little bit earlier just how I'm constituted as a person kind of what drives me. And I like, you know, igniting careers and energized lives and then triggering the fist pump. That's my fuel, man. So those two legs I kind of had down and I felt pretty good about those. The third leg was doing it the right way, the education, the science behind there is a science behind the coaching conversation. And what is a coach and what a coach is not.

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  40. Or a certain amount of money in the bank, and all of that can be successful as long as it aligns with what that person wants to do on the inside. And only that person knows. And I remember there were a couple of years I did participate in the New York City Marathon a couple of times and people, I always got this question kind of bothered me a little bit because it wasn't really why I was doing it. Well, you know, what'd you run? And I told him what I ran. I said, that's really good. Well, that's them actually thinking from their perspective, that's really good. Let's just say it was a 330, three hours and 30 minutes. They don't know if I was pacing to go on like a 310 and I've been working really hard and that was really disappointing for me. Or I was at four hours and that was amazing that I was able to accomplish that. And that was really successful for me. So only we know inside whether we are successful or not. And you mentioned that I've had successes in my career. I'm not sure I'd qualify them as such. And there'd be other things that other people would say.

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  41. Yeah. So it was my last class of our first year and it was a course called Leadership and Organizational Behavior Lead. And we're reading a case about somebody who had a decision. The protagonist had a decision he could either go to one firm and make X amount of money or go to another firm and make Y amount of money. And the class was debating about, well, basically netting out that he should go here. It's a better brand name and he'd be making more money so he'd be more successful. And I like vehemently my hand shot up vehemently and Professor Kang said, Matt, it looks like you're going to jump out of your seat. And I said, well, it really depends on how the protagonist defines success. And like any good professor, he said, well, Matt, how do you define success? And I said something to the effect of success is having the desire and the ability to listen to oneself and then the courage to act upon it. So I think we get caught up sometimes in sort of lofty outcomes and maybe brand names.

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  42. This is what your purpose puzzle looks like. And we use shades of red, so it goes from pink to crimson and sort of various shades in the middle. And I say, okay, there are three goals that you can set for yourself to either maintain a four or five out of five or move something from a one to a three or one to a four. And you may say, okay, well, I want to focus on my career. I want to focus on being more present with my family and also my health or finances could be one of them as well. And then we set a goal around that and we talk about what a meaningful or consequential outcome would be for you in, let's say, those three areas and then inching them forward from a two to a four, let's say. But again, this is all you focused. This is not what anybody else thinks you should focus on. And you're taking an honest, objective assessment of where you are today, where you might want to be tomorrow across, let's say, three or four sort of areas of your purpose puzzle.

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  43. One of the things that we talk about a lot with our coaching partners, and they're talking about as clients, we talk about it as partners. We look at, I sort of think about this, there's something I designed called the purpose puzzle. And I talk a little bit about it in the book. And there are these nine facets or pieces of your life that contribute to how you're feeling on a day-to-day basis. And, you know, you mentioned there are a couple of things that you mentioned in your puzzle. And I'll just read off a few. There's family and health and connection with friends or sometimes lack of connection with friends, life partner, career, your physical environment, spirituality, et cetera. And what we do is we go through, I want to identify sort of where we are today. And let's say on a scale from one to five at each of those nine puzzle pieces. And there may, you know, maybe a three for career at a five. It may be a four, a family. And that helps us identify sort of present state. And then we can begin to talk about the future state. And if I were to say Trey, okay.

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  44. If it comes from within, if I could do that and I envision myself crossing the finish line and my friends and family there and that's something I really want to do that goal stands much more of a chance of actually manifesting.

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  45. Consequence and they feel much, much better. The ideal is if there sort of should and could align. You know, you and I determine that, hey, what we could do is launch this particular endeavor that we have in front of us. And we lay out a plan and we may wake up the next morning and say, hey, you know, we should get on that because we both agreed there would be meaningful and consequential to us and potentially the world around us if we launched that initiative. So I think should and could absolutely align, but it's going to be much more meaningful and consequential to us if it comes from within. And just a footnote there. I've spoken to more than one person who a friend encouraged them to run a marathon. Hey, you know what, Matt? You should run the New York City marathon. You know, and that, if it doesn't really come from within, the training may last a month, a month and a half, you know, and then it's February 6th and it's 11 degrees outside and it's raining and it's disgusting out and I'm not going to get up. I'm going to roll over. I'm not necessarily going to train for that marathon.

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  46. I think that in the book, there's a chapter called Should versus Could. And I think a lot of people that I talk to, they're very high achieving people. They are working at really good jobs and high positions. They went to really good schools and all of that. And all that's fine. There is this life that a lot of us have gotten into. And I raised my hand. You know, it's like, hey, I kind of should do that. I kind of should apply to this school. I should apply to that job. And that's okay as long as it aligns with it's much more powerful question to say, huh, maybe that's what I should do, but right now, this moment, what could I do? What would be meaningful to me? And if even you should say that to yourself versus, hey, what should I do here versus what could I do? One is an exogenous force on you. The other sort of really coming from within. So it's the could goals, the could outcomes that are much more of

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  47. The odds of me becoming that sort of fear speaking. We have sort of those narratives in our head sort of swirling around those ruminating thoughts. That's the opposite of what I would think of success, which is giving into those thoughts and the fear. And it's actually proceeding forward, really going within and listening to what it is that may, we talk about energy before, that may energize me, that may light me up, that may excite me. And I'm going to pursue that. If I want to get fit or I want to run that ultra marathon or whatever the case may be, that's something that is meaningful and consequential to me. And I am.

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  48. I think where the issue is less about the word passion. I think people are pursuing happiness. And I think sometimes the most challenging workout, there's nothing happy about it. But at the end of that, there was a satisfaction of working through that high-intensity interval training or that CrossFit workout or getting through that 2,000 meter row or whatever the case may be, there was nothing happy about that. And I don't think anybody's passionate about that actual experience. But I think it's the feeling of satisfaction, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of I can do that. And also there are positive impact, there are positive repercussions and there are positive impact from that. So I think it's the pursuit of meaning. It's the pursuit of consequence. And it's also, I talked about or I intimated at the fear of, let's say Billy Joel gave in to, you know, well, I'm not going to be a musician. You know, my parents have certain expectations for me.

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  49. That was okay. That's really important to me. And right at about that time, I started working with my coach, Peter Hazelrig, and I've been working with him for 12 years. And he gave me permission. He said something super simple, yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. And he said, Matt, just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it, which then started a couple of years of conversations back and forth, about a year and a half, where I ultimately turned to him and I said, Peter, this relationship has been one of the most important in my life. And the impact that you've had on me has been almost immeasurable. I want to do what you're doing was basically the conversations. Then we sat down and set out an action plan for me to how could I realize that? And Trey, this was at age 42, 43 years old. And people thought I was a little bit crazy that I would sort of leave an executive, a C-level executive path to actually go back to school and sort of pursue executive and career and organizational coaching.

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  50. I was going to be okay with it. I couldn't articulate at that time, but that started in earnest the journey. So then continued to grow, evolve in my career, which also meant taking on more responsibility, which meant managing people and managing larger teams. And I found, talk about energy, I was absolutely drawn to seeing people grow, develop, thrive, giving them opportunities. If I was going to go see the CEO later that day, I wanted one of my employees to go and have that experience. And I wanted to engender the fist pump, whatever version that is, and I'm clenching my fist now, whatever that version of that is for you, that's what I want to see in the folks that I was managing. And that was absolutely the most rewarding. Yes, I was in sales and we had a revenue target to hit. Yes, I was in marketing and we needed to get the messages out. And all that was important. All that was done and all that was achieved. But I really derived a tremendous amount of energy from seeing the folks on the team just really thrive and light up.

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