YouSaid · the spoken record

Matthew Dicks

lines on the record: 120
first: 2023-12-15
most recent: 2023-12-15
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“In the world, and ultimately, perhaps that will funnel down to me where they will want to buy my book or visit my website or take some training with me, but just create space for storytelling. I think that'd be a beautiful thing.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sure. So you can find me at matthewicks.com, or if you're a business-oriented person or someone who wants to learn, I also have storyworthy md.com, my initials MD. And that's where I sort of have courses and online training and things like that. So either place, you'll be able to find me and contact me. In a non-self-serving sort of version of your second part of the question, I think if you just tell stories, but more importantly, If you ask people to tell you stories, again, creating that space, listen for people who say things like, oh, something like that happened to me once. What they're really saying is, I wish someone would want to hear what happened to me once. And so I am always someone who's willing to say, oh, tell me that story. Offer someone five minutes of your time so they can finally speak the thing that they've been waiting to speak to someone. So if you just do that, there's going to be more opportunities for storytelling.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Know this was going to be the case, but I have had many, many people who I teach this skill to come back to me and say, my God, people listen to me. And they've said, they think they listen because I tell a good story, but they've told me, because I start with that location in action, it just tells people like the movie's on. Nobody talks during the movie. Like you can eat popcorn, but you're not allowed to talk. And that's what it silences the room for you and affords you some space to then start doing the work that a good storyteller does to hold those people's attention. So start every story you ever tell for the rest of your life with those two things and you're already going to be like 50% better than you were before you heard this.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“With we just start with nonsense, we started with something happening that grabbed us right away. That's what people want from story. Also, if you're a person unlike me, which is to say anyone who isn't sort of a white, straight American man with no physical or mental disabilities who thinks I've always thought every room I walk into, I have the right to speak. But if you are unlike me in those regards, you often find, and I know this is true, that it's harder to make space to get people to hear you. If you're from any marginalized or discriminated against group in any way. But what I've been told by women and people of color and members of the LGBTQ community, they've discovered that when I start a story by going, I'm in a place doing a thing, it's a signal to people that I am now telling a story. And when you can signal to people, I'm now telling a story, they will get quiet for you and they will afford you the opportunity to speak. I didn't.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You've already automatically applied a thousand adjectives to my story. You see the kitchen with great clarity. You probably put me in your own kitchen or your parents' kitchen or a kitchen you see on TV. But if the particularities of the kitchen are relevant to the story, that's what I want you to do. I'm not interested in reproducing locations with some kind of visual accuracy in your brain. I want you to see a fully realized location. So I love location because it's one word that comes imbued with a thousand adjectives. So you start with location and you start with action, meaning something needs to be happening right away. Like literally, I am in a place and I'm doing a thing. It indicates to the audience that you're actually going to tell something that's moving forward. It's why there's a big spaceship shooting little spaceship in the opening of Star Wars. It's why there's a police officer chasing a guy across a roof. Something is already happening. We didn't start.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So, two things should start every story you ever tell for the rest of your life. So, you start with location. Where are you? Location activates imagination, right? If I say I'm standing in the kitchen,”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I know at the time, like two of my friends were not being my friend anymore, and they were my only two friends sort of at the time. And I think I was just open and ready to hear something that I could do to make my life better. And that was the one. And I'm probably.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, it changed my life, really. When I was in fourth grade, Teacher who, and I don't remember which teacher it was, which kills me, I was having a bad day and I was being The way that most people are, frankly. And the teacher said to me, listen, a positive mental attitude will be your key to success. And I don't know why it's stuck in my head, but it did. I have said that to myself 100,000 times. And today, there's one human being in the world who I think is more positive than me, one human being who I've met who has more positivity than me. I am a relentlessly positive, almost my wife says offensively positive person. Like she's like, you know what? Some days you can have a bad day. And I said, I just don't because a positive mental attitude is my key to success. And it's really the way I frame so much of my life is looking to the positive, looking to the good. And I do it for people whenever I can. And sometimes it frustrates people, but I really believe that most of life is the mindset that you bring to it. And for me, in fourth grade, a positive mental attitude will be your key to success. For some reason, hit me at the right moment in the right way and has stayed with me ever since.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Time. It's called the Nostalgia Hot Dog Toaster. It looks like it's from the 1950s. It's really beautiful, actually. It's the kind of thing you want to put on your counter because it looks fantastic. My son and I love it because we like hot dogs and it'll put two buns and two hot dogs into the toaster. You pull it down three minutes later. You have a hot dog ready to go. You didn't dirty anything. It's not the best hot dog in the world. But hot dogs are pretty great no matter how they're cooked. So I fully support the nostalgia hot dog toaster.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, if you celebrate Christmas for years, I have had an idea on how to design the best Christmas tree stand. Finally, said someone must have done it, and they did, so I wrote it down for you. It's the Krinner tree stand. The Krinner Tree Genie is extraordinary. It's exactly what I would have designed if I had any ability to design it. It holds up the tree like none other. It takes two seconds. It is everything that the research told me it would do. It's fantastic. If you don't celebrate Christmas, I will tell you that a PowerPod, which is a small, it attaches to your keychain and it will charge your phone twice and it just lives on your keychain. So I am never a person who's going, oh no, I don't have any charge left. I have two charges on a PowerPod, which lives on my keychain. You forget a bit that's even there. And then one day you need it and it's fantastic. It's the best one. There's lots of versions of it. The PowerPod's the one you want. And then I just bought a hot dog toaster that toasts the hot dogs and the buns at the same time.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Guess I'll say it's the question I like to ask people most often, maybe when I'm playing golf and things. I don't like to ask people what they do. I like to ask, how did you get into the job you currently have? It's a dangerous question because occasionally I ask people it and they realize they're in their job for like weird happenstances that don't relate to what they dreamed of doing. So I've had like two people in my life cry while they answered the question because they suddenly understand I'm doing this because my sister got me into the company 16 years ago. And I go, oh, well, that's great. Is that what you always wanted to do? And they say, no, it's actually still not what I want to do. But I do think that most of the time, how you get a job is more interesting than the actual job you're doing. The answer to that question is more interesting.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Fantastic episode. There's another one later on that's sort of very similar. It's just great storytelling in a multitude of ways. It's a great, it's great. And for a movie, the Barbie movie is better than I ever expected it to be, quite frankly, and is proof positive that you can make stories about just about anything. And if they mean something, it's going to do extraordinarily well.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“For TV shows, I enjoyed the Last of Us, which is based on a video game I've never played in my life, pretty extraordinary as a TV show, both because Filled with steaks. It's one of those, yeah, it's one of those shows they'll kill anyone at any time. And so you're on the edge of your seat. No one is safe, which is fantastic. And then it has this beautiful bottle episode in the middle of the season, which is one of those things where you're in a zombie TV show, which oddly is unlike any zombie TV show I've ever seen. And then there's a beautiful”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Banford Have Amy stuck in my head for Amy Sedaris. Maria Banford's memoir, right now I'm reading, also extraordinary. So there, there's four that I am now recommending.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So Nathaniel Philbrick's Heart of the Sea, which is a non fiction account of the whale ship Essex, which is the origin of the idea for Moby Dick, the sinking of the Essex is what gave Melville the idea for Moby Dick. It's an extraordinary nonfiction account of the whale ship Essex. So that book for sure. If you have children, but even if you don't, because this is one of those children's books that reads well for adults as Kate Damillo's The Tale of Desperot. It's a young adult novel. It'll take you two hours to read. I've read it 20 times. It is beautiful and extraordinary and fantastic. And then anything by Jesse Klein. She has two books. The only thing I don't like about her is she only has two books. Actually, Sidaris too. Jesse Klein and David Sedaris. Go read those two people too. I'm actually right now reading Banford's book, The Comedian, What's Her First Name?”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That guy who initially asked me to do stand up with him has never done it. Not once in his life, he wanted to do it, but he's afraid to step through the door. He's too afraid to do the thing that he challenged me to do that I now do on a regular basis because he challenged me. And it's still the thing that probably scares me the most. And therefore, it's the thing that I am relentlessly trying to do at all times because I know the things that scare me are the things that are the best for me”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, that's really good. I mean, someone, I do stand up now quite frequently. I was just in the New York City comedy festival and I do stand up because six years ago, one of my buddies sent me an email saying, hey, we should do stand up. And I replied to him and said, no, I'm not interested in that. Hit reply. And then I said to myself, whoa, why did you just do that? And I said to myself, I'm terrified of it. I can tell funny stories. And if it's not funny, still telling a story. But if I'm doing stand up and I'm not funny, I'm failing. And that's a terrifying thing. So I immediately sent a second email that said, okay, I'm in. When are we doing it? I have now done stand up.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Think most of the time people say no because they're afraid. And when someone asks me to do something that scares me, that is when I run to that thing as quickly as possible. With all of my might, as terrified as I am, because I know that it's the things that frighten me are often the things that are the best for me. So we say yes with the acknowledgement that we can say no eventually, but a yes can lead to extraordinary things. And if you watch my TED talk on saying yes, you'll see that yeses just lead to these extraordinary chains where you said yes to something you didn't want to say yes to. And suddenly it forced you to meet someone who you never would have met who opened a different door for you. And I mean, the causal chain that you can sort of create by saying an odd yes is extraordinary.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Were a lot of doors I didn't step through, right? And you're not going to be thinking, I'm so glad I didn't because I allowed myself to stay on the one path that I knew was going to be good for me. Just think that there is no one good path that's good for you. I think there's a multitude of paths and they're all great. And a few of them are terrible, but you find out which ones are terrible by stepping through the door, deciding this is not for me and coming back.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“With it, I look around and I say, you know what? Not for me. I step back through and I close the door. But so often in life people don't step through the door. They're too afraid. They've already prejudged the opportunity in some way. They fail to see the benefits of it or the value because they can't see that because they haven't gone through the door. And then there's this ridiculous belief in the world that we are supposed to learn to say no so that we can sort of sequester our time and make it as meaningful as possible, which sounds really terrible to me. The problem is you're going to be a hundred someday. And when you're 100, no one is going to be asking you to step through any more doors. And at that point, you're going to look into the past and you're going to say,”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“If you don't say yes, what you're essentially saying is, I am so presumptuous that I understand what's on the other side of that door already, even though I've never set foot beyond that door, right? I just know so much about the world that I know that what's behind that door is not for me. And I think that's foolish and arrogant and full of hubris that is not helping anyone in any way. So I say when someone offers you an opportunity as crazy as it is, as ridiculous, as much as you don't want to do it, which many times in my life, the yeses that I have said about something I did not want to do but forced myself to do it because of my belief system have resulted in the best and most extraordinary opportunities of my life. A yes can always become a no, right? Yes, I will try that. I step through the door. I give it a try. I'm some time.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And it talks about how to find great stories. And it says, go do crazy things, and you'll have great stories. I disagree. Fundamentally, first, that's a foolish way to live your life. And also some of the best stories I tell, I think the best stories I tell are about tiny moments in our lives where nothing extraordinary happens except everything in our head, right? Most stories that I tell, if you had actually witnessed the moment of transformation or realization, you would have never known it was happening because most things that happened to us happened in our heads. It's not while we're hanging from a cliff, right, for our dear life that we suddenly have a revelation. It's usually like we're walking across a parking lot and suddenly something hits us that's been building up for three weeks, but now it's hit us walking across a parking lot. So the reason we say yes to everything is”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So I'm going to disagree with Sidaris a little bit. I won't disagree with him by saying yes, you do end up with some great stories, but that's not the purpose of the yes. There's actually a book, a storytelling book in the world that I'm not going to mention.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes And I'm very much an auditory learner Other thing, though, about listening to it is you just get sick of practicing, it gets so frustrating to practice. So at some point, you don't want to say it anymore. So rather than saying it, you start to listen to it. You listen to yourself, tell a story about yourself, to yourself, which is the most narcissistic thing you could probably do in the world. But even if you're a visual learner because it's so annoying to practice, eventually I think listening to it can be really helpful.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Ah, damn, what am I supposed to do next, right? So we're working on building those transitions. I will do something like I'm going to start in the car and then I'm going to get out into the store. And then I'm going to head out to the parking lot and then I'm going to be in the park. And then it's three weeks later. I don't tell myself the story. I'm just bouncing between the scenes because once I know the scenes and I know, okay, there's seven scenes and here they are and here's the transitions. Again, if I follow up each scene, that's okay. Because I'm going to get the information out. It might not come out as perfectly as I hoped. If you can avoid memorizing, that'll save you a ton of suffering because memorizers, they're the most tortured souls in the world. So avoid that if all possible. Remember your talk without memorizing your talk.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“If you listen to your talk enough, you will get to the point where you can retell it with ease. The other thing you can do is some active listening with it. Most people don't forget their talk. They forget the transitions in their talk. So I'm talking about this, but then I got to transition to this. Then I got to transition to this. So when I'm listening to my stories or a talk that I'm going to give, I'm playing a game with myself. So I'm listening and I go, oh, okay, this is closing out. And the next thing I have to talk about is this. And then the next thing I have to talk about is this. And if I don't know what I'm going to do, if I'm like, ooh, what am I going to next? That's where I go, oh, I got to create a mnemonic there. I got to create a bit of memorization there to train myself for that transition. Once you're in a new section of a talk, even if you're following it up a little, you're going to be okay because you're like, oh, I got to talk about the data related to this or the that. And if it doesn't come out perfectly, you still know what you're talking about. But what happens when you're done with the data related to this or that? You go,”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Haven't told it since. Someone hears it on YouTube and says, Hey, can you tell that story at our event? I say, Yes, I can listen to it once and it comes right out again because I allowed it to sort of sink into my memory in the same way that when Harry met Sally has sunk into your wife's”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“All of her nerves fell away. So that's a good thing to know. The other thing to know that's really great is everyone's nervous except for me. I'm the only monster in the world. So if you're feeling nervous, you're just like everyone else, including a very famous person who you see on TV all the time. That person was nervous. You're nervous. You're in the same camp, right? You're in the same boat. And then preparation is going to reduce your level of nervousness. One of the things that I tell people to do that is most helpful is it's good to practice your talk, you know, or practice your pitch, whatever you're doing. But one of the best ways to prepare for it is to record it and listen to it. Listen to it passively. Listen to it while you're grocery shopping. Listen to it while you're folding laundry, doing the dishes. What happens is I really believe this as you start to listen to it over and over again, it just sort of seeps into your soul. And so it becomes part of you. You know, I have done this technique. I've told a story a decade ago.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Speaking, I'm pretty good. That's really relieving for a lot of people because what we imagine is that we're nervous while we're talking, which is often not the case. It's particularly if you're kind of prepared, if you know what you're talking about. So be aware that most of your nervousness happens before you speak, and that's a normal thing. And you're just going to have to accept that until some day when perhaps it starts to go away through repetition, through continued performance on a stage. For some people, they're always nervous. I was performing with I won't say her name, but someone who you have watched on television before. And we were both backstage. And I was chatting up the room. And she finally said to me, this very famous person, would you stop talking because the rest of us are trying to keep information in our head and stay calm? I'm a terrible person backstage because I'm always calm. I never care. So I have to sort of sequester myself from these people because I torture them. But once she began speaking.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“The first thing you have to understand is that 98 of your nervousness is actually before you begin speaking. Once you begin speaking, almost all of your nervousness falls away. And that is the experience of most people. So what you're really suffering is from pre-talk nervousness. And when you find that out, that's kind of a relief. Because if you do it enough, I just had someone just spoken the Netherlands and today I'm waiting to find out how it went. He spoke it for the Florida state legislature. Same topic. He was really nervous about going in today. He was also really nervous speaking to a bunch of scientists in the Netherlands. But I told him, I said, after you began speaking in the Netherlands, once the talk began, how nervous were you? And he said, oh, actually, when I began speaking, I was pretty okay. I was incredibly nervous before the talk. And I said, well, that makes sense. So if you own the fact or you believe the fact that, oh, most of my nervousness comes before the talk, but once I start.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I actually use old fashioned Excel, but yes, Google Shoots would work too. Because I started so long ago, Excel was the thing I used and Excel was the thing I still use. I mean, it's backed up in 19 places because it's the most precious thing I have other than my wife and children, cats. But yeah, that's what I would suggest to you.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And keep track of it in some meaningful way. But yeah, get started today because if you don't, you will lose today. Every day that you don't do homework for life is a day that is going to be lost to you forever.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, that's what I would do. Although ideally, as you go through the day, things get forgotten quickly. You know, your son says something hilarious and by the end of the night you can't remember what it was. So if you can start sort of tracking it through the day a little bit, maybe you make it a habit where at lunchtime you're going to ask yourself what happened that morning. And when you get home from work, you're going to say, what happened in the afternoon? And then in the evening, you're going to say, what happened since then and then sort of take a whole view of the day. And then be open to those memories. Allow them to come back. You know, I record them in my homework for life as memory, sort of a capital MEM ORY, because what happens is you start to build up so many homework for life memories that you get confused. You're like, what? When did I see a deer? And then I go, oh, that's a story from when I was 14. But you get confused because it's sitting on, you know, when you're 38 years old. So you mark them as memory as you hold on to them. You put them into spreadsheets because eventually you're going to want to move that data around.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Large company or helping someone deliver on all hands, the first and most important thing you have to be is entertaining. You have to entertain or people will not listen to you. So you got to practice. You got to get reps.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Everyone says they're a great listener, but active listening is a skill that most people do not possess in any way whatsoever. But if you find people who are willing to listen, you got to start telling stories. You got to start practicing in meaningful ways. And your first stories aren't going to be great. But the good news is most people's stories are terrible. Most storytelling in the world is not very good. So if you put a little thought into what you're about to say, you're going to be better because storytelling is not about facility with the language or your vocabulary. It's all about decision making. That's all it is. Storytellers are people who think before they speak. They make strategical tactical decisions before they speak, right? And ultimately, they make enough good decisions to entertain people. Ultimately, no matter what you're doing, whether I am teaching a fifth grader how to behave better or presenting a new product for a”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They have to start homework for life. And I have a TED talk about it that I go on for 17 minutes about. So I suggest watching it because you'll just get more than what I just told you. And I think that's important. And you have to decide to do it every single day, even on the day when the best you have is a cookout, right? If that's all you got, that's what you got and you write it down. You have to have some faith too that it's going to happen over time. Remember, I started with 1.8 and now I'm up to 7.6. And that's over more than 12 years it takes for me to make that jump. So in the beginning, you're not going to be very good at it. You know, you're not going to see the right things. And that's just the way it is. If I go back to my original home for work life, I see myself looking for stories. And you're not really looking for stories. You're just looking for moments that touch your heart, touch your mind. That's all you're really hoping for. And some of those will become stories. So you got to start homework for life right away. And then if you can just find some people who were willing to listen and begin telling some stories, that's really helpful because most people are unwilling to listen. There's not a lot of good listeners in the world.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So homework for life gives you all of that that you don't normally have in life because we tend to live day by day and we leave that last day behind”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Houses, everywhere, three boys to the right, two kids to the left, friends couldn't believe it that they were getting divorced. Known each other since high school. We just never saw it coming. One day later, neighbors to the right announced they're getting divorced, left and right within a day of each other, right? And it becomes a story about how you never understand what's going on in a marriage unless you're like in that house, right? But I don't have that moment in May when there were three couples on a porch one of them was happy. I thought all three were happy, right? I don't get that moment unless I'm doing homework for life and I write it down. And now I see a trajectory of a story. I have the opposite. Now I actually have an opposite moment, which is I'm serving hot dogs to people I think are happy, but they're only pretending to be happy for our sake. And then they're returning to their homes to Discord and eventually to disillusion of a marriage.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And, you know, just angrily mowing the lawn. And when I see these patterns, I suddenly go, oh, I do fight with my wife on my own. Like I fight in a way that she's not aware I'm doing it. I yell at her through chores and she's not aware that it's even happening. That becomes a story that couples love. You know, they think it's hilarious. You also start to see like stories that you would have never seen. So there was a day last May when the neighbors to my left and the neighbors to my right came over to the house and had a cookout, the first one of the year. And that was a day when I didn't find anything in the day. I had one moment, which is very unusual for me. And I remember thinking, really, all you got is you had a cookout with the neighbors. That's the best you got. It's not even really a story, but it was the best I had. So I wrote it down and I moved on. About four months later, the neighbors to our left announced they were getting divorced. It devastated us because they have two kids. We've got this big communal backyard with the three.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Argue. But I noticed in my homework for life a moment when she had asked me to put in the air conditioners before I had central air in the house and I hated it. I hated it because we agreed to never buy a house without central air. And every year the air conditioners somehow get heavier. I don't understand the physics behind it, but every year it's worse. And so there's like, and she always asks on the 98 degree day, hey, can you put the air conditioners in? And there was a day when I was like, no, I'm not going to do it. It's really hot. And she was like, okay, no problem. And then, you know, 10 minutes later, I'm in the basement pulling them out, complaining, grumbling, arguing, you know, only to myself, banging them on purpose so she can hear. You know, she's like, what's going on? I'm like, I'm putting in there conditioners, right? And so that becomes a homework for life moment. And then like, you know, a month later, she asked me to mow the lawn on a 98 degree day. And I said, I'm not going to mow the lawn. I'm busy and it's really hot. And she goes, okay, no problem. Maybe tomorrow. And then I sit for a while and I stew. And then I'm mowing the lawn, but I'm doing it aggressively. I'm like running.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, absolutely. Many therapeutic elements. First is you're recovering your time and slowing time down, which is beautiful, right? My kids are 14 and 11. Thank goodness I started homework for life just about when Clara was first born because they feel 14 and 11 to me. They don't feel like they were just born yesterday, which for a lot of parents they do. Lots of parents say things like, oh my God, you're not going to believe what my kid said. I got to write it down. But nobody writes it down. You're not going to believe what my kid said is in homework for life for me. So I'm holding on to the moments, stretching out time. You also start to do things like you start to see patterns in your life that you don't realize. Unless you really think about your life, and I think you should, storytellers tend to be slightly self-centered in a positive way, meaning we afford ourselves time to think about ourselves. You start to see patterns if you start doing this. So I think what I talk about in my book is I always tell people, my wife and I never fight. We've never raised our voices to each other. We really don't ever.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Become a story or a part of a story, but the other 90% is just as valuable because I'm holding on to my days. And the other amazing thing that happens is once you start doing this, you'll sort of crack open. And all of the stories that you've left from the past, the ones you've forgotten, you'll start to rise up. They'll bubble up. And I include those in my homework for life too, as memories, because once you start looking through the lens of storytelling, you see something like you see Eileen find confidence and suddenly your brain connects to other students or moments in your life or moments in your children's life where confidence was an issue and you think, oh, that's right. It's just like that kid. And now I have another moment that I've recovered from the past. A day has returned to me. It enters my homework for life. And suddenly I have more stories than I ever have time to tell. And it's not just me. Like I said, thousands of people all over the world, my own children and my students do homework for life. And all of them will tell you.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Not going by quickly, you're just failing to account for each day. And each day has something worth remembering. Homework for life is the acknowledgement that every single day should have something. The prompt that I actually use for myself is this. I say, if someone kidnapped my family and said, you can't have them back until you stand on a stage and tell a story about something that happened today, what would you tell? That was what I would think in my head every night. And then I would write it down. To be honest, nowadays, I'm not sort of sitting down at the end of the day and writing them all down. I'm recording them as the day goes on. My laptop is around me. My phone is around me. When I hear something, my son says a bit of dialogue. I can't believe he just said, you know, I see something for the first time or the last time. Or a stray thought enters my mind. I have a new thought that I had not occurred before. All of those become moments for homework for life. Not everyone becomes a story. I did some analysis on this too. About 10% of the things that I write down ultimately.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“For life, I found eight moments per day. So you can find more than one. Eventually, I started recording more than one. So 1.8 moments per day. I now find 7.6 moments per day. It's not because my life is more interesting. It's because I have a better lens and I understand what to look for, what to see, and what is worth remembering. And so I become a person who has an endless number of stories like Boris. Boris does homework for life. It's why whenever we meet, he's got three new stories to tell me. And then we work on the stories and then figure out the business applications for them, right? So it's so important because what we do is we throw our lives away. People say that time flies and it doesn't. What happens is it goes by unaccounted. If you can only remember 89 days of 365 in a year, of course time flies because you had 365 and you only remember 89. It's going to feel like it went by quickly.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Do I took an Excel spreadsheet, two columns the date, and then I stretched the B column across, and in that B column, essentially the length of a computer screen, that's where I write my story. My goal was I find one new moment per month, 12 new stories per year. That would be amazing. Instead, something far more amazing happens. I discover that my life is filled with more stories than I will ever have time to tell. And I'm not a unicorn. Thousands of people all over the world are doing the same thing right now and discovering that their lives are filled with stories. Moments like Eileen, which 20 years ago, I would have forgotten that moment within days. And now I've held on to it because it's going to be a homework for life moment, right? So I start writing those moments down and I discover that I'm developing a lens for storytelling. I see the moments that I did not see before. In fact, I just did some analysis for my new book. In the first year I did home.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, it's the most important thing that I teach, whether or not you're ever going to speak in your life. If you plan on being a hermit and going off into the woods and never speaking to someone again, you should be doing homework for life regardless. It's a process I came up with maybe 15 years ago now. Essentially, when I began telling stories on stages, I fell in love with it immediately. And I got worried that I was going to run out of stories. I saw a lot of storytellers on stages performing, and they would tell the same six, seven, eight stories every time. And I didn't want to be that guy. I wanted to have a brand new story every time I took the stage. So sort of in a fit of panic, I decided to assign myself homework being an elementary school teacher. It's sort of natural for me to have that inclination. And so I just decided every day before I go to bed, I'm going to look back on the day and find one moment that would have been worth telling as a story, even if it wasn't really worth telling. I was going to write it down. Now, I don't write the whole thing down. That's crazy. It's not doable. What I...”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes, you can drop. See, so we're sort of stacking strategies, which is a really good thing to do, right? So we're pulling in all of the things I've talked about, and it really makes for a powerful moment for people and a memorable moment. Because the most important thing is that we're becoming memorable. We're in a conference amongst other scientists, and we're actually the one who's being remembered.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Fuddled husbands and grocery stores are always funny, right? So it wasn't that he came to me with the story, I came to him with the idea of let's look at theme, meaning, and message, and then snap it over to the tubes. That's what we want to do when we're putting a band-aid on. We don't want to think about what we're talking about. We want to think about the feelings we want people to have about what we're talking about.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“About his dog when he was 12 because I'm going to snap it into place because I'm not talking about content, theme, meaning, or message. So when they come to me and they say, here's what we've got. I'm not thinking about the thing. I'm thinking about what is the theme they want to convey or the meaning that they want to convey or the message I want to convey. And what story do I have that will match that? Or what story can I get out of them? The scientists did not come to me with the Apple story. The scientist came to me with the tubes and I said, well, it sounds like you're a company that wants to give people what they need. Let's find a story in your life about a time when you have to give people something that they need, right? And we brainstormed it. And when we landed on apples, I knew we had it because he was going to be able to talk about I'm a father. I'm a husband. I'm the kind of husband who takes apple orders from his family before going to the grocery store. I'm going to be able to be funny because like before.”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“People deserve to get what they want in life, right? His family deserves to get the apples they want. And you as a business deserves to get the tubes that you want. But so often in business, what people think is content to content. Well, I got to find a way to talk about these tubes to make people understand how important they are. And I said, well, let's not talk about the tubes. Let's talk about something else instead. And then we're going to move what we were talking about over two tubes. You know, we're going to snap it in place. That snap, when someone realizes you were telling me about apples, but really you were telling me about tubes, that snap is so powerful. I use it with students all the time, right? A student acts like a fool, gets in trouble, sitting at my desk. I'm not talking about their behavior. I'm telling a story that they have no idea why I'm telling them the story. They're like, I'm in trouble. Why is he telling me about his dog, right? Why is he telling me a stog about a story?”
2023-12-15 · Lenny's Podcast · How to tell better stories | Matthew Dicks (Storyworthy) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source