YouSaid · the spoken record

Pema Chödrön

lines on the record: 47
first: 2022-06-08
most recent: 2022-06-08
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Now that's a famous analogy in Buddhism, that the sun is always there and that we say, oh, the sun's not shining today because we're experiencing ourselves as the sun's not shining. But if you begin to adopt a different way of like the sun is always shining and you can get to it, but not by getting rid of the clouds exactly, but by... Seeing how ephemeral the clouds are. But anyway, getting to know what blocks it with kindness is magical.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“As they. See, that came out of that insight about what I'm saying that things are neutral. That you accept yourself currently today just as you are, like fretting or frustrated. Despite learning to know the clouds, then you see their transparency and you realize the sky has already always been there. Do you see what I mean by that?”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's right. And I also, it's been a big education for me to realize why, for instance, a woman would allow it to happen again. Why a woman would never have spoken up, or all these things, which I really understand now.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah, that's right. But that doesn't mean that that man or woman is permanently has to be like that forever. I mean, that's the problem with the criminal justice system is that they are just fixed for what their crime was and there's no very little very few prisons actually address trying to help people move along.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's really a good thing. But just to say again, the only part of it that I Always want to address is when it gets, when your mind gets frozen and someone becomes like a demon or like that. Like there's no room to say maybe they'll change or maybe they'll change. But if there's been a criminal”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think it's great And the other thing is there is countless of us women who didn't think at the time it was so culturally accepted that what happened to us in the office or what happened to us in a marriage or whatever, you know, our husband, our mutual friends or any of this stuff. And then you think, oh my gosh, that was not a good thing.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And I said to her, if you feel like it anytime, if things are painful for you and you want to talk to me, I think you can trust me in present time. And she said, well, thank you very much for that. And so like that, you know.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“We had communicated from the heart and we both felt that we had some sense of resolution. Around the relationship. We both agreed to keep in touch now and then.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, for sure. So it was a wake-up call. I thought, oh my goodness, you know, I had kind of a rosy picture of me doing countless interviews with people. And then being the better for it. And then I thought, ooh, I bet this is not the only woman that left feeling not heard in one way or another, you know. And that it isn't always a rosy picture, but my intention always is to help. That's always my intention. And not to hurt somebody So, of course, I felt enormous regret that I had left her a feeling so traumatized, actually, you know.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, of course, yeah, yeah. Completely differently. And the thing is, it was long enough ago that I don't remember exactly how I heard it then. However, she certainly remembers, and that to me was the most important thing is that she felt heard and that she felt acknowledged. And I was very grateful she accepted my apology.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“She agreed, first of all, to talk to me, so she knew why I was calling, and I said, I'm calling up to apologize, but first of all, I wonder if there's something you need you want to say to me. And then she talked for about half an hour, telling me the whole situation again and what had happened to her and how she had come to me and what she had felt like when she left.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, yeah Well, it tuned me in again to how important it is to allow people to change myself in this case, you know. But in this whole very important movement that's happening now, the Me Too movement, which I really am applaud. I'm glad it's happening. But I think that where it gets problematic for me is when people don't allow for someone to change, they just fix them in their mind as demon, completely bad, like frozen in time. And they don't allow for the fact that someone might learn from this and might change. So for me, that whole thing that people are not fixed. People are fluid and dynamic and always. Changing, and you have to help people”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I am officially still a senior teacher there. But I also have another teacher. I've had since 1999. And I also, more outside of Shambhala than in Shembal. So, in a way, and as I say, things like solitary retreat are my most favorite thing. But for many people, they completely were devoted to him, and I have always known him since he was a teenager, and we've always had a strong heart connection. But on the other hand, it wasn't the same for me as for these people that had never had another teacher or anything. And for them, their life has just blown up in the air and they can't imagine how they're going to go forward.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah. The situation is horrendous, you know And my future is just completely up in the air, you know, now. I mean, I'm too old to actually worry about it too much.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's right. That's right. I felt, oh man, you feel such a gestalt of feelings, you know. I felt angry with him. I felt deeply saddened. For him and for the community. Those were the main feelings, I think, mixed together.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, until you stop doing But I would say if you just looked out at humanity on all the continents of the world, that mostly that's what's happening, you just keep reinforcing the view that you already have. And as you get older, Yeah, what happens is your world just gets smaller and smaller. You're more and more afraid of more things.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“No, when you're in it. But I think people do have a lot of wisdom. And if they read a book like this one or when things fall apart or any of them, and that message kind of clicks as like, hmm, this is interesting to me. Sometimes people, they stumble on the truth themselves. It's in there. They already know it somehow.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's right. Well, someone was asking me about the other day that said, I really don't buy that, you know. So we had a great conversation. But they, you know.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Where the situations are so horrendous, does this apply to something like that? And I'm thinking it applies because you become so much more able to be an effective agent for change because you're not blinding yourselves with your emotional reactivity. You're really understanding and you're fully embodying whatever it is you're feeling without making it bad. with some kind of kind attitude about you're just a human being. But on the other hand, you're not continuing with the rant, whether it's verbal or in your mind. And so somehow in that process, you are more just open and available to the people in front of you. And you don't see them as adversaries or enemies. Even the people that do these terrible things to people, you wish you could find... A way to communicate to their humanness.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To yourself, see that you're doing that, acknowledge that you're doing that, and then turn towards the feelings themselves. Forget about the sister-in-law and the whole thing. Just turn towards yourself and get in touch with that. Now, people do ask me, well, there's some situations where, and this would be like the boys in Central Park, the five boys, you know.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's exactly right. We can relate to whatever comes up. And that's where meditation comes in because you become so much more aware of what you're thinking. You become so much aware that you're escalating. It's like some kind of awareness begins to dawn. Mostly what happens, I would say, for myself and working with a lot of other people is what you become aware of is where you're stuck. You become aware that you're obsessing, say, or that you're working yourself into a rage talking about your sister-in-law or something.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, so it matters. It really matters how we respect ourselves, how we're kind to ourselves, and how we acknowledge that we're causing ourselves suffering by all this obsessing.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Now, I don't know if you would agree with that, but it struck me that the vibe, the ripples go out, the ripples go out. You know, we know so much about that, that we're interconnected at such a vast level because what we're saying and doing and stuff, the ripples go out. So I realized even without talking or being with another person, I stepped.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Three months and a half? Three and a half months. It's not like I never see anybody, but I pretty much am alone and not talking. It's my favorite thing to do. I love people. But basically, I love solitude. I love it. I had this insight. I was sitting there and I'd gotten a letter or I was worried about one of the grandchildren or something and started this little obsession. And one of the things is I've become very... Aware of what my mind is, what this storyline is that's going on, you know? So I was aware that I was doing that and that it was impacting me. I was kind of tensing up and stuff. And I thought, even in complete solitude, what you're doing is affecting the world.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Every year I take a period of time, usually about 100 days or so. Where I go into solitary retreat alone and I just meditate and”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To you. I see all right. But when I first had that insight, I just broke down and cried and cried and cried. And the reason was because I thought everyone is causing themselves and others so much suffering just because they don't understand that. They just don't understand that. So racism, sexism, and all of these things that cause so much pain and suffering all come from thinking that something that is just neutral is bad or threatening or something like that.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I've had any number of times when. I would say time stood still where I just had that profound sense of timeless I now use the word nowness. Meaning fully present is not just mindfulness, like noticing the colors of the flowers or something, although that's part of it. It's also quite importantly a feeling of this moment of time is infinite. It's infinite. So that's an experience, an ongoing experience I've had. The other ongoing experience that I have is a feeling of I never know how to express this, but that things are neutral in a way. Like all the things we see and hear and everything are neutral in the sense that one person hears it and they say it's bad and the other person here is the same thing and says it's good. That's what I mean by neutral. It's sort of like,”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Levels and levels and levels. And actually people ask me, why did you become a nun And I say, well, definitely I never would have chosen it as a life thing, being a nun. Had a lot of very negative associations, but I saw it as devoting my whole life to going deeper, deeper, deeper.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They say when you have your first enlightenment experience, it's called has this Buddhist name, first Broomi. So then that's just beginning.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Awareness and awareness. I think I mentioned it somewhere in the book, but Buddhism being full of categories and stuff like that.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I've moved a long way in my life away from being reactive and stuck and polarizing and feeling that I'm separate from other people. But maybe the term is too grand. If you were to say, have you in your lifetime, are you able to be more present with your own body and mind and with other people and with situations? I'd say absolutely, you know, I'd say absolutely. But I feel I've just started on this adventure. You do? I do. A little old, but... Feeling that way, but I felt this way for.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And almost like a theater piece. I don't know what to say except that it changed from being dreadful and something I wanted to avoid to something I actually got into at the time.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And so my feeling was so I got this advice just enter her world. So I went, and as you say, it was so hot in there. It was so dark. So I'm sitting there, and basically I am just so restless and just almost have to tie myself down to just kind of be present because I want to get out. And after a while, I just started to relax. And after a while, it got kind of interesting, actually. Every once in a while, the door would open and someone would come in and it'd be like a little vignette of life. Someone would interact with her or bring her something or something. And I'd see her reaction, that person's reaction. Then they'd leave and we'd be back to this sort of status quo of boredom. After a while it became like being in a theater show or something, you know, being on stage.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's And I had an interesting experience with my mother because she retired, she and my father retired to Mexico. Then he died oh, maybe six years before she left Mexico. And so I would go down there. I'd be just dying to get out and walk in the markets and everything. She would stay in her room all the shades drawn and again just watching television. Like she wasn't in Mexico either, you know?”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's right. You know, I often say to people who are having trouble with their parents and often their parents are like my age, right? But are going to go home and they're dreading it. And now I said, well, I got advice once. Enter into their lives instead of struggling against and being resentful that they're not interested in your life, just for that, keep the visit short and for a couple of days there. Just sit and enter into their life, do whatever they're doing like watching television all day long when you'd rather be out. Playing tennis or something. And the other thing is ask them about their childhood. Ask them about their life. And I said, really, it's worth taking a tape recorder because for you to start hearing about your mother or father's childhood Yeah, I did that”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And just like me, it would really be helpful if there was some other way they could deal with it, you know. So here's some advice. You know, the advice would be, Just start seeing the humanity of all the people in the cars around.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Start looking at the people in the other cars or other people sitting in the airport or thing. And just like me, these people had some place to go and they're being delayed. And just like me, they're fretting about it. And just like me, you know, they're just human beings who...”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That person, just like me, just like me. But so it's very, very useful if you're in these irritating situations like a traffic jam.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, it is really helpful. You can do it anytime, like, for instance, sitting and waiting for anything. You can just look around at people and whether they seem stressed or happy or whatever, you can say just like me, we are alike, just like me, that person really wants to be loved. That person doesn't want to suffer. That person doesn't want physical pain. That person doesn't want hatred coming towards them.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And you ask me a question actually last night about... If you're trying to communicate, what's the most important thing to try to communicate? Thinking about it afterwards, I thought absolutely the most basic thing is that people feel so bad about themselves. And if there's any way to communicate in a way that they can take it in and hear it, that actually they're complete just as they are, and that there is nothing wrong with them. And there's temporary obstacles or temporary things in the way, but that's like... Clouds, you know, they pass, and the fundamental state is always open and fresh and unbiased, and it's always there. But so in other words, what we call our faults or our failings or stuff are temporary and removable. And even those...”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's a practice. Traditional Buddhist practice of Tong Lin is that. When someone else is suffering, you're willing to take it in so that they don't have to have it. That's kind of at most advanced. But I've taken that and worked a lot with it with the idea that when the pain is there, say you acknowledge and then the way that you could welcome or something is to breathe it in like open to it.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, to recognize, and then it's almost like if you were doing it in steps, although it kind of comes together, recognize and then welcome, embrace, accept, you're turning in that direction, you know. I think the next thing is... There's various things that you could do at that point. For instance, go to your body. Just locate it in your body. And I talk a lot about contraction and then learning how to open that or let it expand. Because if you're afraid, angry, any of those uncomfortable feelings, if you go to your body, you feel it as tightness. It's just, that's how it feels. I guess it's like making friends with that tightness or being kind to that tightness.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, I mean, well, first is just acknowledging, and you know, welcoming might be a little loaded because maybe acknowledging is like what you're acknowledging is that everything in you is shutting down and that your mind is racing 100 miles an hour saying it's their fault, it's their fault, or I'm a horrible person or something.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Mainly the attitude is this is a whole part of being human, the vulnerable part, the tender part, the part that hurts. And it's very linked with the part that knows how to love and feel compassion. They're all kind of mixed in. Does that make sense?”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, it has to do with contacting that part of the human life that's vulnerable and tender and that's shared by other people, like empathetic sense of other people's vulnerability and tenderness. And so somehow if you get in touch with that the real suffering that there is in the world, that's what I kind of mean by a broken heart or tender heart. A genuine heart? If you get in touch with that, it's like a link with humanity, you know, and that's the healing part, the interconnectedness with other people based on having stood in their shoes or they stood in your shoes or however you want to express it.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, it makes me feel good. I guess that's the simple answer, you know, because honestly, sometimes people talk to me about their legacy and what they want their legacy to be and things like that I realized I don't really think that way. What I care is about individual lives and that what I say might impact their lives in such a positive way, particularly because there's so much suffering and if it actually has alleviated someone's suffering to a certain degree, that's what gives me really deep satisfaction.”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Bud and a pioneer of the mindfulness. Pemache First met in 2014 when we discussed her best selling spiritual guide, When Things Fall Apart. Hard advice for difficult times. Her first book in seven years called Welcoming the Unwelcome Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World invites readers to embrace suffering, to strengthen resilience. Pemma believes that beneath anger, confusion, and fear is a basic goodness that connects. Thus, Pimma addresses the recent sexual abuse allegations lodged against the”
2022-06-08 · Oprah's Super Soul · Super Soul Special: Pema Chödrön: Welcoming the Unwelcome · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source