YouSaid · the spoken record

Phil McGraw

lines on the record: 44
first: 2019-12-11
most recent: 2019-12-11
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“It is not a day of the week. You just can't say someday I'm going to get that job changed. Someday, I'm going to get out of this dead-end marriage. Some day I'm going to start taking care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally. There's no someday, make it today. I mean, take a step towards it today and deal with the truth. Don't y'all know the truth when you hear it? Come on. People can come tell you what you want to hear, but when somebody finally tells you the truth, Don't you know it when you hear it? It has a ring to it. The truth fits in your ear uniquely well.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, first off, I think you've got to have a defined image. Decide who you are. What's the face you're going to put on who you are? And I'm not saying make something up, but there's a broad range of your skills, traits, abilities, and characteristics. Pick the best constellation of those things and make a commitment. That's who you are. And then you've got to commit to that. You've got to go with it. And once you do that, then make a plan. to get what you really want in your life. If you don't have a plan, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years, and before you know it, you're looking back saying, should have had a plan.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So if you say, well, what I want is a new car. Well, how would it make you feel? Well, I'd be really excited. So what you really want is to be excited. What do you have to do to get excited? Well, now what would be the move that would get you to that? Well, I'd have to start doing things I'm not now doing. How would that make you feel? Well, I'd be proud of myself for changing something. So what she really wants to be proud of yourself, what would make you proud? You just start drilling down. It's a circular thing, but it will take you down to what you really want. Currency-wise, and then you say, okay, what are the things that will generate that in my life? What in my life gives me the best chance of having that?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, you know, it's really difficult if you just sit down and start saying, you know, what do I want? But there is a way to do that. You ask somebody, what do I want? And they'll give you an answer. Then ask yourself the second question How would it make me feel if I had that?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“There is a third question, and it is what do I need to start doing? Will empower me to move forward, that will get me going, that will get me moving. So, what are you doing that's working? What do you need to stop doing that's getting in your way? And what do you need to start doing that is going to change the game for you? It's going to change your energy going forward.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, and I want to add one thing because this is critical. It may be the most important thing I think on this entire list. Number 14, winners deal with the truth because the second part of this three parts, I said first part was, what are you doing that works? Second part is what do you need to stop doing? That's getting in the way of what you want. Seriously, what do you need to stop doing? What are you doing to get in your own way? Do you whine too much? Do you get mad? Do you just not plug in? Are you just unwilling to tell yourself the truth about why you're not getting what you want? This is the way you look at your life”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You got to write it because you'll add to it, edit it, and then it gives you some objectivity from it. And I'll bet you these pop up on Oprah.com about the time this show airs. Yep. The three questions you need to ask yourself. What is it that you're doing that's working? Go through and say, you know, the things I'm doing in my life really that get me my currency are these.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“If you go to work every day and you come home saying, Oh, I hate that job, where are you going tomorrow? Back. That's not what you want to model. And with these four kids She needs to teach them how you take care of yourself, how you nurture yourself and feed your spirit and do things for yourself and learn a key word, moms, a key word. No, everything you delegate is time put back in your bank. Your currency is time. Your currency is energy on yourself. Put that back in your bank. If you can take two hours a week off your schedule. That's nine hours a month. Look at it through the year. Seriously, you're talking about 100 hours a year. What would it give you if right now somebody just said, here's a hundred hours a year, do anything you want to with? You don't even think about that until you go, wow.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Here's the thing If you love your children, and I know you do, then take care of their mother. Take care of their Think about that If you want People always say, Oh, these kids don't listen these days. They may not listen, but they're always watching. And if they're watching you burn yourself at both ends.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Surprise, surprise. Do you like to read books? Would you listen to an audiobook if I sent you one overnight? I will send you an audiobook. You can listen to it. Then maybe you don't because you don't want to read. Can listen to it. If this is the biggest problem y'all ever face in your marriage, you won the lottery. And here you are putting a marriage on the line over bricks and mortar. Don't do it.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Go, okay. All right, well, here's where y'all need to be. You don't negotiate, and I have a whole chapter on negotiation in life code. You never negotiate by ultimatum because there's nowhere to go. You just say bang, there it is, take it or leave it. Well, that ends a lot of relationships. Don't do that. You've got to come up with a solution and be committed to it, but you don't put the relationship on the line. You don't say the stakes for which we're negotiating are our marriage. You're negotiating over bricks and mortar. That's got nothing to do with your marriage.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You don't want to be house poor. You don't want to be in a house that you just can't afford that drags you down and that you can't keep up your part of it because you guys have bifurcated or split your resources. The way to do that, do I get it, have I got it?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You're not very good at it That's the problem. You're just for negotiating. Look, Danielle, what he's saying, obviously, is You can't make money up out of thin air. If you don't have the money to stay, then you have to do something different. Look, Adam, you cannot negotiate with ultimatums because once you say that, then what are you going to do? She says, nope, you're not bullying me into it, so we're not going to do it. So then you're going to go file for a divorce. That's not really what you want. What you want is a housing situation that you can be comfortable in and do your part to support, correct?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Understand that I'm not saying that he needs to try to make something work that won't work, but you don't deal with it by ultimatums. That's no way to negotiate. You're telling the woman you love that you've been married to for all of these years, do what I want to do or I'm going to divorce you.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“But why would you then put the relationship on the line over some real estate? That's not a negotiation tactic. That's a bullying tactic.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, so We certainly are misdirecting and obfuscating because I'm not so that would be yes. You did say ultimatum, you do what I want or you're out of here.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Here's the thing you got to believe in yourself enough that if you decide on what this image is that you are a strong, intelligent woman, you're articulate, you're beautiful, you got a great sense of humor. You obviously have initiative. You're here talking to Oprah. Come on. You made this happen. That means you can take action towards a known outcome and create results. So just do that and don't tell yourself that you've got something working if you don't. If you're having to send a guy money, you don't have a fish on the line. You don't have a fish in the boat. All you've got is a hole in your bank account. You don't send money to somebody. They spend money to come see you. You're settling too cheap too quick and guys smell it.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Start getting desperate, right? So you've got to decide that you don't have to have this. You want it? It's a goal. You're going to work at it.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, first off, we're going to talk about relationships here, Simone, you got to make a decision, and this starts with a defined image. You got to make a decision that says, I would rather be happy alone than sick with somebody else. And so if you don't get that person to come along, Then you're okay. You're going to do what you're going to do, but you don't, because if you don't,”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Really, you got to have a plan. If you don't have a plan for getting from where you are to where you want to go, then you don't have a timeline and you don't have a timeline, you got a dream. Dreams are just that. They don't happen. You just dream about them. You got to have a plan, right?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Because people say, you know, what do you want me to do? I'll tell you, I put verbs in my sentences, these become to-dos. What is your image? How are you unique? In what way do you can or become essential and have a damn plan? Don't just wake up every day and say, well, see what happens. Spontaneity is for like...”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“When they come around thinning the herd, you don't want to be a face in the crowd. You don't want to be where it's like, oh, just get rid of these 50 over here. Oh, but not her. Wait a minute. She's the one that knows how to get the copier working when it doesn't work. She's the one that this client relies on for one of our really big relationships. She's the one, this and that. Get rid of those 49, but do not get rid of her. She is essential. And think about you're essential in your children's lives. You're the only mother they'll ever have. That's essential, right”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I want to tie that into number five Become essential If you don't think you're essential in your own life, if everything in your life, everybody you know, everything that you're involved in, every task that you undertake, every job, career, whatever it is, if it could all sail on and make no difference whether you were there or not, then you are not essential. You have got to be essential. You get in these days of downsizing at work.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Exactly. And to do that, you have to decide who that is. You've got to at least figure out what it is about me that makes me.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“No, you can't. I mean, think about it. You've got to commit to something. And I believe in a really defined image. And that's critical. And if you don't know what it is, that's step one. You've got to find out who you are. I mean, when you hear Dr. Phil, you may love me, you may hate me, you may think I'm a barbarian or the second coming of common sense, but you won't confuse me with anybody else, right? You've got to have that, or you don't know who you're presenting to the world. And you said something if you were to.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Look, you got to have a defined image, right? Because I believe this you got to commit to something, and that's the horse you're gonna ride. I mean, you can't ride two horses with one butt. I keep talking about things in Texas You can't ride two horses with one butt, right?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sure. They're easy and they get something out of it. But all of a sudden you start saying, I have requirements here. I need you to support my dream and my passion. Oh, well, now if you're going to start making demands. You don't get to stay. Well, wouldn't you rather know that now than a year from now? Say, you know what scares people the most, by the way? The biggest fear people tell me about it, and we've talked about this is rejection. But that's when they get into comfort zone, if they ever admit this is not enough. Now, what have they don't get something better? Wow. That really scares people. You get my point, right? You're in for a penny in for a pound. Once you admit what you've got's not enough, what if you don't get better? What if you don't improve on it? Now you spend the rest of your life having admitted your life sucks?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Let's talk about what Daphne's saying. There are a lot of people in your life that will let you stay as long as you don't require very much from them. That's not having a relationship. You've got to get a relationship where it's okay to be who you are. We talked about that in our last show weeks ago. You don't give yourself up to be part of a couple.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Filling yourself up mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, that's where you're starting in your own life. And it's not about being selfish. You don't do it at other people's expense for you to take care of you, to nurture your mind, to nurture your body, to nurture your spirit. Why does that have to be at their expense?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It is to find a job to replace us with. Don't quit, that would be irresponsible. But start finding something that lights you up. Maybe it's not a job. Maybe it's what you do after work. But find something. Don't accept nothing.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Can I jump in here just real quick? Because I know we got to move here. Okay. Listen, I want to tell you how to star in your own life today. You have a job that doesn't light you up, right? You're going through the motions. It doesn't fulfill you. So should you just quit your job? No, we're in an economy. You need a job, right? Yes. So you don't just say, oh, I'm supposed to start my own life. So I'll go be a star. You have to understand that if you're in a job you don't like, that you have no passion for, then your part-time job should be getting a job to replace the job you don't want. And that's how you begin to star in your own life. You say, I'm the star. I get to do some things I want to do. I put me on the top of the priority list. I stopped pushing me down to the bottom of the list. And I take care of myself so I can take care of others like my daughter. You're no good to her if you're emotionally bankrupt. You're no good to your grandchildren if you're gone when they get to an age that you could really be resonating with them. Not that you aren't now, but I mean, you've got to be around for the long term. Take care of yourself. Start saying, I will no longer settle for a job I don't want.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Where they say I want a new car But why do you want the new car? Who wants to be happy? We all want to be happy, right? So that doesn't distinguish you from the person next to you. You raised your hand in the pink sweater when you said you're not starring in your own life. What's your name? So, why are you not staring in your own life? What's keeping you from it?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“We use a lot of words to describe this like being authentic, finding your passion. And I sometimes hate these words that sound kind of Psychological, but it's just got to be something that counts for you.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You don't have to be on television, you don't even have to be on YouTube. You can, I mean, you can star in your own life if you live on a farm and you have no electricity. You do something that fills you up. And you do something that impacts other people.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's less than half. Less than half. Who raised their hand for that? Somebody tell me how you star in your own life. Why did you raise your hand?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What I mean is that you in your mind. Stand tall in your life. You in your mind make a difference. You in your mind do things that impact other people, that fill you up mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You're kidding me What bigger star can you be than the quintessential mom if you want to do that? What better audience can you have than your three children? Star for them role model passion role model integrity role model all of the things that you want them to pick up star in your own life you've got a built-in audience”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It is true, but if that's the only day you're starring in your life, That's bad. Well, in this day and time, the only three days you star in your life, because you're going to get married two or three times, right? Yeah.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Okay, if not one of those 14,600 days, you were the star. Everybody got to pay attention to you that day. You got to feel important. What kind of life is that?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“You feel it. I mean, you feel like that when you go through your life, you're not going through the motions. It's not gray. It's like, I mean, if you're 40 years old, somebody do the math for me. You've lived probably 10,000 days. How many of those”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Think about this. Think about your born, live, and die. And you never star in your own life. You're a bit player in your own life. If you don't star in your own life, who's going to do it?”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And that's always tough because they could be sitting next to you on the couch and at Thanksgiving and all. Let me tell you, just because they share DNA does not give them a right to take what is yours or to not treat you with dignity and respect. If they do that, you show them the door just like everybody else. If you want to work on it, work on it. But you don't put up with it.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Want to be able to see these people coming, and let me tell you these people are real obvious. I mean, if you know what to look for, if you know that entitlement, this sense of entitlement that some people have is toxic. It's not just something go, oh, she's kind of spoiled. She's not kind of spoiled. She's not kind of spoiled. That's a bad sign. You need to put that one in your brain. When they lack empathy, they don't ever seem to be able to get in your shoes and appreciate what you're going through. Those are just a couple of them”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, abater is kind of a compilation of all of the bad diagnoses we see in our lives. It's on a continuum that can go all the way from those just annoying people that just always seem to make things not go right all the way through to the homicidal killers and every point in between. These are the people that you're better off without them in your life and when you see them, when you feel them, when you get the instinct, you need to run the other way. You need to put up the fence lines and get them out of your life because they'll take your money. They'll take your husband. They'll take your wife. They'll take your reputation. They'll take your job. They'll take whatever because they have no empathy and they want what yours because they think they're entitled to.”
2019-12-11 · Oprah's Super Soul · Oprah and Dr. Phil: Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, Part 2 · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source