YouSaid · the spoken record

Rachel Clarke

lines on the record: 29
first: 2025-12-22
most recent: 2025-12-22
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Henry, your beautiful boy you loved every moment that you had and that goes hand in hand with your heart bleeding as you lost him but the only thing surely that could ever be worse than that is wasting some of that time because you just try and protect yourself. So we've just got to be open to it and recognize that the amount it hurts is exactly the amount it should hurt. It's equal to the amount we love and that's the arithmetic of life. The pain equals the amount we love and we just need to keep on doing it.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A spark of time, don't we? We are little sparks in a great big black expanse of space. That is it. That is being human. And every moment we don't spend savouring our kids, our parents, our friends, the pangolins, the stuff we love in the world is a little bit of that tiny little spark of time we've been granted that we've lost. The only way to live it is to open yourself up and feel the pain that goes hand in hand inescapably with being human.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The only thing that matters is the people we love and the things we love. The more we love our people and our beautiful, madly beautiful world that's full of creatures like pangolins and badgers, I've got a badger around my neck and polar bears and aurora borealises. The more you love the world and your people the more you are opening up your heart to savage, savage savage pain. Because one way or another you are going to lose them. They're going to die. You're going to die. We are witnessing the beautiful miraculous world dying in a thousand ways around us at the moment. So, you have two choices. You can say that's too much, that hurts too much. I'm going to barricade myself up and protect myself and stop loving and try and just protect myself. Or you can say, I refuse to stop loving. All of us get...”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I love getting old. God, getting old is the best. Yes, getting a bit creaky, my hips are. I swear they're getting arthritic. So lucky to have arthritis in my hips. All of that. But the other answer is I feel like I get more and more simple as I get older. And my simple take now on life is I think that There is a kind of simple, pure arithmetic of living that is inescapable. We can do all kinds of things to try and escape it, but it's inescapable. And it is as follows.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Two answers. So, one is make sure you try and fill your outside of work time with the good, wholesome stuff, walking the dog, chatting to the kids. Going for a run, you know, all the sort of nice positive life affirming stuff, try not to doom scroll, never ever, ever give a shit about your wrinkles, the fact that you're not a size eight anymore, all of that stuff because you are so lucky to be old. You're so lucky, Rob.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why the appalling underfunding of the hospice sector is so terrible because the one time when it would be really nice to think we cared about the experience of a patient is at the end of their life. So a hospice makes that environment as beautiful and meaningful and full of the potential for little moments of pleasure and joy as it possibly can be in stark contrast or hospital. So in general, the differences are very stark, but when it comes to”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Completely, it's a really interesting question. I think in many branches of the NHS, the experience you will have as a child is much, much better than as an adult because it's recognized that, of course, you need to have a play area for kids. Even now, the NHS recognizes you need to have teenage specific resources for teenage patients. Hugely important. So if you're on a children's ward, everything is set up to be about the child's whole experience, whereas in many ways, if you're an adult, everything is set up for the kind of efficient, convenient throughput of patients. And there's very little put in place for the experience of patients. And that's one of the reasons.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Incredibly important because if you experience something traumatic, whether it's working through a pandemic or the death of your child, So often people are frightened of saying the wrong thing, so they hide away and they don't say anything at all. Sometimes they'll literally cross the street to get away from you and you write about this in your book. And so if you are able to do the opposite and you are able to say, Tell me how you're doing. Tell me what this is like. I may not know what the right thing is to say, but I damn well want to try and listen, then that's really can be really powerful and positive and helpful. So it's a really good thing to try and do but hard”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Was not my story. I was painfully conscious of the fact that it was the Ball and Johnson family's story and I had a burden of responsibility to tell it in the right way. In a way that was sensitive, respectful, that honoured Kira, and that tried to Draw good from this narrative, but that was different. It wasn't my story, but when I have written about things that are traumatic, you know, and I said I wrote a book about working in the COVID pandemic, which was very, very traumatic. And I had a similar thing with Rob. Every time I talked to people NHS staff would just be in absolute tears talking about their trauma on COVID wards working with patients who were dying. And it's a hard thing to do, but it also feels”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think for me. My writing feels like an extension of medicine in lots of ways and one of the things that you do as a doctor, especially as a palliative care doctor, is hear and encourage and invite patients and their families to talk to you about what they are most frightened of, what they are most distressed by. And you're doing that to try to think about how in the broadest sense you may be able to help them, but that comes with a cost as well because it is so powerful to Sit alongside someone as they share their distress with you. It's you don't need medical training to do it. We all do that with our friends and family. It's an incredibly powerful thing to do. But it does take a toll and you have to figure out ways to replenish yourself. I think with this book”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My world is imploding, but I'm going to stand up for humanity and the people around me and I'm going to say yes to donation because I care about other people and I can't stop my pain, but I might be able to save other people from that pain. And in this audience, we have two young women whose decision saved. Slightly older couple from Terrible, terrible lifelong anguish of losing their little boy. That is human beings too, and we are good and we are decent, and when Kush comes to the shaft, we stand up and we say, I'm going to choose each other. And that's a story that's worth telling.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Think that Other stories, and this is one of those stories are every bit as emblematic of human nature as those big picture horrible news dominating stories that we hear so much of. Babies are starving in Gaza, and that is horrific. But it is also the case that families like Kira's family, the Ball family, right now there is a family having a conversation with an NHS team about whether or not they would like to give their loved ones' organs to other people. And they have never experienced anything as traumatic and devastating and horrifically painful in their lives as their feeling right now in this moment. And they are going to find it in themselves just as Kira's family did to say,”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We've done the most important thing. Talk to your families, please, please talk to your families, tell them this story, ask your kids their views. And the other thing that I think I took from this story, and I think really matters, especially at the moment, is that we are hearing so many awful stories at the moment, stories of war and killing and conflict and endless pursuit of wealth and power. You look at what's happening in Gaza, Ukraine, some of the things that are happening in this country, and it is easy to feel as though humanity is on a kind of fast road to nowhere. You know, the world is on fire. There's more war at the moment in the world than at any other time since the Second World War, which I think is a terrifying statistic. So it's easy to look at all of that and think human beings are terrible and the world is bleak.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Happened seven years ago, and it's not easy having a transplant. You have to take your meds at the same time every day. You're always living with the risk of rejection. We know that transplants are not forever, so a heart transplant has an average lifespan, but Max is hoping that he, his heart, will have an exceptionally long lifespan. That's a lot for a teenager to live with, but he is living his life. And the one thing he loves doing is going fishing with his dad. And the two of them sit there and think about the world. Their hearts to hearts, don't you?”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Max. Well, he is huge. He's over six foot. Yep, he's done his GCSEs. He's thinking of applying to join his local fire brigade. He likes to do mixed martial arts, which I interpreted as kickboxing, but apparently it's not quite as dangerous as kickboxing. He likes to go to gigs and concerts. His mum tries to ask him to take his hand sanitizer with him. I don't know if he ever does that. I think that might be the least of the risks he gets up to. So he is basically this wonderful, thriving, gorgeous teenage boy who Is living this beautiful life. Because of this amazing gift.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ask a young child that question, but if you tell anybody Max and Kira's story, little children get it and almost always they will say duh, why are you asking me the question? Of course I want to donate my organs. I asked one of my children when he was seven and he looked at me like I was mad because obviously he would want to help other people. And Kira's mum goes into schools and talks to school children about organ donation. So find out from your kids if that's what they would want. If a family knows what their loved one's wishes are, then 90% of those families will say yes. Please. Buy Rob's book, but ask the question more.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Waiting list waiting for an organ and every day some of them will die and some of those people will be children because there aren't enough organs. So there is evidence that the change in the law has increased the numbers of people donating which is an extraordinary gift, achievement of carers and her family that just keeps on giving. But the most important thing by far, and this is a quick plug to all of you in the audience, is actually to have the conversations. Tell your family members what you want. Do you want to donate your organs? Just let them know. Put the kettle on and in the time it takes to make a cup of tea, say, by the way, this is what I want. And please, please ask your kids what they want. People often think you can't ask.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so the way in which the law changed was to make organ donation a phenomenon that's known as presumed consent. So until Max and Kira's law, it was assumed that you didn't want to donate your organs unless you proactively opted in. And now the assumption is unless you proactively opt out, you do want to donate your organs. In practice always the NHS will talk to the family. So you wouldn't retrieve somebody's organs if their family said, no, we don't want you to do that. But the idea of the law is to make it normal and typical to donate conversations in the hope that it will increase the numbers of people donating organs. So any one time there's over 8,000 people on the”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Who is the most important person in a transplant will lick you straight in the eye and say there's only one person who is important in a transplant and that is the donor. The donor and the donor's family are doing something exceptional and remarkable and that act of altruism is the bedrock on which everyone else's efforts rest. They're the only important people and he describes his part in the journey of a heart as being a bit like a bus conductor, a bus driver. So other people have driven the bus to get the heart to this point and all their jobs are as important as his and he has the job of driving it through the surgery and then other people take over and he's irrelevant. And what a wonderful attitude to have.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Egotistical Christian Bernards of old, so 1960s Christian Bernard performed the first heart transplant and became a kind of global superstar. He was this sort of womanizing swashbuckling, absolutely the center of his universe was it was definitely Christian Barnard, not his patience, but now surgeons are tend to be much more aware of the fact that surgery is a team effort and Asif Hassan especially, he's one of the best heart surgeons in Europe. He's a brilliant, brilliant man. And he is also the kind of man who picks up litter on the way home when he spent the night operating because he cares about the streets of the neighborhood where he lives. He is the kind of man who when asked”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. Don't try this at home. So in order, and if you think for a moment of the surgery that Max had, what Asif Hassan had to do was literally take a big pair of scissors and cut the vessels that connected Max's heart in his body and lift it out and dump it in a dish. And now here is a boy on the table who has an empty chest cavity and the only way in which he is going to survive is if you have got enough surgical skill to stitch the new heart well enough into that chest cavity. So which of us would be brave enough to do that? I would not want to do that. Definitely double stitch it. I would definitely not be able to do that. The enormity of what surgeons do under pressure requires a certain kind of steeiness that is uncommon. But surgeons these days are definitely not the kind of”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, taking the second question first, one or two of them definitely. I've met one or two who are psychopaths, but the vast, vast majority are not. You definitely have to have a really unusual ability to cope with pressure to be a good surgeon, especially a heart surgeon, because the vessels around the heart are the biggest vessels in the body. So if you cut into the aorta, the blood would spurt up almost to the ceiling above us. You don't have time to fix it.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Appreciation to a patient of the fact that they're a human being and they want to cuddle a dog because they're feeling sick or a bull.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, this is important. If any of you ever have a really sick relative in hospital and they may be approaching their end of their life, They have a pet that they love at home and it literally doesn't matter what the pet is, you need to say you want to speak to the palliative care team and we will get that pet in. We once got an actual bull, a prize-winning bull into the hospice gardens because the wife of a farmer who was dying in the hospice, we asked him if there was anything that he really loved that would cheer him up. And she said, yes, you'll have to bring his bull in. He loves that bull far more than me. We did. So honestly, animals in hospital are just the most beautiful example of Thing that is the powerful medicine at the bedside is not the drugs, it's not the clever doctors, it is anyone showing kindness and compassion.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Can work with that child and make them feel joy again and make them remember what it's like to laugh again and they can use play to teach a child what their operation is going to be like, what's going to happen to me, how do we explain it? You do it with a teddy bear and you dress them up and you show them what's going to happen. Honestly, the men and women who are play specialists in the NHS should all instantly have their salaries doubled and be championed because what they do is incredible and I think sometimes it is almost literally life-saving. And I think adults need them too.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That shows you how important the humanity of medicine is, that that little child he never told anyone he felt like that, but he felt he had to try that, a play specialist is the person who can take a desperately unhappy child who wants to be playing football and hasn't been able to be unhooked from a drip for the last six months.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Child alive more than anything else and bless him Max is a prime example Max spent so long on the transplant list was so desperately ill could feel himself fading, was so unhappy He reached a point That he wanted me to write about in the book because he thought it was important that people knew this. He reached a point as a nine-year-old boy where he wanted to die because he couldn't endure living on the transplant list any longer. And he even tried to harm himself by pulling out the wires of the little electrical pump that was keeping his heart beating. And they got infected and no one could understand why they got infected. And then months and months later he confessed to his mum what he had done.”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ensuring that we as healthcare professionals do the best job we can of enabling this particular patient in front of us to live their life as much as possible and for as long as possible in the way that they want to. So the only person who should be in the centre of the room is the patient, whether they are an adult or a child. Most of the time, if you're a patient, it tends not to be like that. I think the only two branches of medicine where we really get the fact that medicine is about humanity as well as science is in pediatrics and palliative care, the start of life and the end of life. We know when we're dealing with children play specialists are literally the people sometimes that keep a”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, that's a very good question. Medicine Sometimes rarely in medicine the only thing that matters in the moment is technical prowess. So a good example of that is CPR. If someone collapses on a football pitch because they have got a heart condition no one knows about and their heart has stopped, the thing that is going to save their life is really good quality CPR and nothing matters in that moment but how good is the team doing the CPR. So if a relative of mine is in hospital and they need CPR I don't care what those people are like as human beings I just want them to be good at doing the CPR because that increases the chances of my loved ones surviving. So occasionally in medicine the only thing that matters is technical skill. Almost always, it's more complicated than that. Medicine should be about”
2025-12-22 · Intelligence Squared · Women’s Prize-winner Rachel Clarke in conversation with Rob Delaney (Part Two) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT