YouSaid · the spoken record

Ravi Gupta

lines on the record: 126
first: 2023-04-18
most recent: 2023-04-18
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Yeah, well I think the first thing is a lot of founders, you know, they're different. Some of them are amazing at that to begin with, right? That's their wiring. That's the way they are. And so frankly, with those folks, a lot of it is just making sure that you're helping get the right signals to them because by nature they are such where they do that. There are some who I think I'm sure you've heard about the Steve Jobs reality distortion field, right? I think that's actually been pretty negative overall to the startup ecosystem because I think that people have heard that as Steve Jobs didn't embrace reality and Steve Jobs, I actually think that his was quite different. That was a representation of ambition. That was a representation of we need to be great. And I think that that was a representation of I'm not going to be constrained by what someone tells me can or can't happen. He still was embracing reality as to whether or not people love the product.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Obviously, that's not quite the same for any of us sitting in our offices or whatever. But I do think understanding that reality does hit you every moment and that not embracing it does have a cost. I think that's really important and valuable.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The things that I think about is sort of the speed of reality. How quickly does reality hit you? And what is the impact of reality? And so there's that saying that every morning in Africa, I saw this on Twitter recently, but every morning in Africa, Gazelle wakes up and knows that if he doesn't outrun the fastest lion, he's going to die. Okay, cool. So he wakes up running. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up and knows if he doesn't outrun the slowest gazelle, he's going to starve. So he wakes up running. Well, for those folks, for the gazelle and the lion in that case, reality hits very fast every minute of every day. And the cost of not facing reality is death.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, we've only made like 1% progress. But he's like, it's so much better now that we're just working on it. Now we're just working on a problem. Whereas before, we were just thinking about it. And I think that that comes from the embracing of, okay, this is where we are. This is what we got to go do about it. And I think your point of effectively trying to avoid reality and kind of kick the can down the road and have somebody else have to deal with it. That's a real disservice to someone you care about or someone you love. It's the same point, the reason that feedback is valuable. I think it's the reason that sports teams are a good analogy when they're at a very high level because the feedback happens every minute. If you're not good enough to be on the floor, if you're not good enough to be on the field, the ball goes by you. Your team might give up a goal. It is quite obvious and the feed mechanisms are quick. And so I think that one of”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes. Well, this is, it's so fascinating. You just said that, and you mentioned reality. So I have a couple of things that I say a lot at home. I say a lot at work, and I say a lot in any setting where someone will listen to me. But two things. One, reality is undefeated, right? Reality is undefeated. And the second is embrace reality. The sooner you figure out what reality is and you embrace it, then you can do something about it, right? And I have a friend who's a founder. He was down like six months ago. And he asked, he said, can we have dinner together? I'm not feeling great. And we went and we had dinner. And, you know, it's not like the dinner ended and all of a sudden he was feeling great. But then three weeks later, he sounded like a different person. So I asked him, I said, what happened? You sound so much better. What happened? And he said, you know, instead of just thinking about the problem in the last few weeks, we've just started working on it.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're going to have to pay the Piper. At some point, the world will decide whether you are good enough for the thing the world is asking you to do, whatever it is. Like, no one's going to listen to your podcast if it's not good. Right? Like, so at some point, the bar becomes the absolute bar. You can't fake it.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why do they not get to be challenged? If you really think about it, why do they not get to enjoy school anymore? Why do they not get to feel like they're learning something? And I think that you want to give everyone a chance for sure. We are products of people being given a chance. But you can't mistreat somebody who either has worked hard or has natural talent. I just don't think that that represents it. I think that we talked about companies, all that. That happens in companies too. And I just think that, yeah, I don't like that. And it also is dishonest to the person because at some point.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like we've solved the easy part of the problem, right? The hard part is that kids want to get trophies and they want to earn them and only one team can win it, right? And maybe the second place team, I guess. But we've solved that by like, okay, cool. We'll just give everyone a trophy. It's like, no, the way you solve that is by going home and having the hard conversation with your child afterwards of if you want to win, why do you think we didn't win? Well, we didn't win because they probably practiced more than us. We didn't win because they may be more naturally talented than us. What are we going to do about that? And the easy answer is, well, sure, we'll give everyone a trophy, but that doesn't solve the actual problem. And so I do think that to me is pretty endemic in general. I sound like I'm, you know, preaching, but I think that's a real thing.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It really does miss the point entirely of what the purpose is of a medal. Right? Because, you know, the metal isn't valuable because it's shiny, right? The metal is valuable because I read something recently. I don't remember where, but it was talking about memory dividends. And the reason that the metal is valuable is if it provides you with a memory dividend, with something you can think back on as to, oh my gosh, this is what this represents. And if you get it for just going, then like, come on. And I do believe that there's value in participating in sport. There is all that, but it's like we've...”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't say anything. My wife doesn't say anything. He looks at them and he says, he smiles. He said, no, that's okay. I want to earn my medal. And that moment was so much better than us interrupting and being like, well, it doesn't matter if you get the medal unless you win it and all this stuff. He said it himself. Something inside of him has now been internalized of the medal is valuable if I earn it, right? The metal is not valuable if somebody gives it to me. And that is like the success case. There's a thousand failure cases. But the success case of earning it is the thing that counts. That was a pretty cool moment that I think is something we hope to get more often.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And they're like Sovin both Nayan and Shre, my older boys. Sovin, don't worry. Even if you guys don't win, we'll get you a medal. We'll get you a medal too. You sit on the bench with us when we go to the games. We'll get you a medal too. And Sovin, my eight-year-old”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And afterwards, I told my wife, I said, gosh, if the lightning bolt hits right now, it's fine. I will be happy because so my older boys, all my sons play soccer. And my older boys, they had the soccer tournament. It's called the State Cup. And they won it. And they've won it. Their team has won it two years in a row. And so they were pumped, right? They have this medal. Their team got this big trophy. And my youngest son, he plays soccer too for his own age group. And he's gone and his team hasn't won it before. So anyway, we're on the way home and the older boys have their medals. And they're just pumped. They're excited talking about the game, whatever. And my youngest son says to us, he's like, hey guys, can you sign us up for State Cup this year? His team. And we're like, of course, buddy. But his team historically hasn't been quite as successful as the older boys. So we're like, we'll definitely sign you up. We're not sure exactly how it will go, but we'll sign you up. And then the older boys have some real empathy for their little brother, which was awesome.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Asking them questions, hey, what happened here? Hey, why do you sound like that? What is the thing that actually went on? Do you think you could have done anything differently? And I think that kids, they are good at answering questions and they give you surprising answers sometimes. And what we find is if you just get them talking, it's generally much better. And the questions generally help with that. And so I'd say when I'm at my best or when we're at our best in that situation, it's much more asking them. about what they think and trying to get them to get there themselves because it's the same thing, right? They have to believe it. You know, my parents have this thing of you can't learn someone else's lessons for them. And I think that applies a lot, right? I think about that. Like they have to believe it. They have to get there. And I'll give you an example that's a little bit broader, but it's a moment that I was pretty proud of. And it's not totally related to the whining, but it is related to the urn success point that just happened. Okay.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think, well, there's probably two different versions of it. The one that I'm not proud of is the one where I'm emotional, I'm quick, I sort of haven't taken the time to think about how exactly I want to deal with it. And I just kind of react. But that's definitely one version of it. Stop whining that one. I think the one that is much better is sort of.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thing that I just want to make sure that my kids are not like that. And so I'm sure that I'm not doing it right, but it is such a triggering thing for me when there's whining or feeling like, oh, this happened to me and kind of that their life happens to them versus like, no, it's not a mistakes were made situation. It's not like, gosh, there was nothing I could do. No, we can always do something. We have agency. We are the captains of our own ship. And so I always joke with my wife that like if they're, you know, in therapy when they're older and they're telling their therapist about what their parents did, one of the things a certain like, man, I couldn't even complain about anything. But that's my trigger.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Mine is whininess. Any whining drives me nuts, and it is because I thought about this a lot. It's a huge trigger where I am irrational in my response to it. But the reason I think I am is I really dislike whiny adults. I really dislike people that are victims. And I really have a hard time with it. And I have this.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“100% 100% everything my parents said and wanted and of these parents said and wanted was out of love and it was out of what they saw as the path to the things that they would that would make they basically thought what would have made them happy and then applied that to us of you know okay let's try to make sure that you have all that and I think to your point I think that them immigrating to America it was a different life than they had in India and it's a different life than their parents had in India and I think what you just said is absolutely a luxury that we have and that it's a luxury that was largely provided to us from our parents you know but yeah I 100% agree with the the premise”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Three boys, the twins are 10 and the youngest is eight. But I would say that that is kind of the theme that we try to use as we're talking to them.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Certainly somewhat, I think. I think what we try, let's think about this. I think for Avni and me, both of us had parents that were pretty. Had an opinion on the value of trying to be traditionally successful, whatever, which I think is very typical for children of immigrants. I think we probably have a slightly different view than them on that of, you know, there are probably a broader definition of things of success than what they had. But I think we both do believe that we want our kids to be happy and we think, and I certainly think that like earned success is the key to happiness. I really believe that. I heard this one time from Arthur Brooks, who used to run the American Enterprise Institute, is really sat with me. It is something I believe a lot. And so a lot of what we try to get into our kids is this belief of whatever you do, just make sure you feel like you're good at it and make sure that you feel like you've earned some level of success in it. And that comes from trying. That comes from practicing. That comes from doing something hard. And I have no idea how successful we are at that because the older, there's.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The other thing is my parents are from India, and I think that they have a very strong sense of what success looks like. And I'm very close with my parents, but that also informed my teenagers for sure because there was a very clear message from them around like, look, you got to get after it. Laziness was like a huge ding in our household. It was just so offensive to be lazy. And so any moments where I had that, you know, reeked of laziness were really poorly received in my hubs.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Both. I think my brother has an extremely, he has a wonderful work ethic, but he also it did come easy to him on some things. And then I realized to your point, I tried to spend time on things that were different than what he did. So he liked baseball. He liked lacrosse. I didn't play baseball or lacrosse. I played basketball. really was deeply studious and was into pre-med. And I was like, I'm definitely not going to be a doctor. He went to college at Northwestern, which is close to where we're from. And I said, I can't go to Northwestern. So there was a lot of that where a lot of my decisions almost felt like they were a response to his.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I have an older brother who's three years older than me, and I bring him up because I think he was pretty impactful to my teenagers because a lot of it was in comparison to him. And my brother is wonderful and kind, but he was better than me at most things. And a lot of my teenagers felt like trying to either live up to what he was good at or differentiate myself. I do think it's an interesting answer that when I say it out loud because it does feel like my answer as a teenager is sort of in relation to somebody else. I was a happy kid and all that, but it was all, I always had that in mind.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In COVID, you actually did mix that up a little bit more, and you'd see somebody who was generally a certain way. And then their kid would come bouncing into the room. And you'd see how different they were with their kid. And it really warmed them up to you. And yeah, so I think that. Kind of makes you feel bad because you feel like you're not getting the real person, right? People generally are more real, I think, at home. And so you feel like you're getting this act almost”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Think the first thing is you're surprised when you see them in the home environment because you have this vision of the way they are and then you see them in a different environment and let's just say they're very tough at work and then they're different at home. They're understanding their... They're smiling more, whatever. So I think the first thing is surprise of, oh my gosh, this person is so different than what I expected. And then I think the part that is bad is you're sort of like, why don't I get that person? Man, I would love to work with that person. And this is where I think COVID was sort of interesting because like.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's from my dad right when I first started working. And he said, Listen, son, don't have a work personality and a home personality. It'll just tire you out. And you don't want to have to live two different lives. And I'm sure there are way better versions of advice from when I was a kid or any of that around integrity and all that. But the piece of advice that just came to mind when you asked was that one.”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If what it takes to be the best in the world at the thing that I'm doing is to lose some of those aspects that we're talking about, then I don't want it. Number one is the family. And it is sort of what Avni and the kids are going to say. And maybe I should say I'm kind of fearful that what you just said is true, but I'm not fearful enough to change it, you know?”
2023-04-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Ravi Gupta: The Realities of Success · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT