YouSaid · the spoken record

Romesh Ranganathan

lines on the record: 113
first: 2023-02-09
most recent: 2023-02-09
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“The honest truth is, I would have that voice regardless of what I did. So I might as well do something I really love, do you know what I mean? And I just absolutely like I'm addicted to doing stand-up. I'm addicted to it. Even if I don't have a tool to prepare for, I'll go and do a gig. You know, I can't not gig. And it makes me better at everything. So if I'm doing a travel show, I'm funnier on the travel show if I'm regularly gigging. If I'm not gigging, I'll be worse on that panel on that travel show. I'll be worse on a panel show. I'll be worse talking to you now. You're just exercising that muscle, like being on stage. I just feel I'm addicted to it.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've done a corporate gig where I've died on my arsenal, absolutely horrific. You know, like it's, oh God. It's just so awful, man.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That never gets easier, man. But you sort of go, this is what you've got to do. It's like when you've got to take risks in the small rooms so that when you do the big rooms, it's better. You want to do stuff that's on the, not necessarily on the edge, but you want to do stuff where you might do an act out that you wouldn't normally do or you might talk about something you never talked about before. And the risk is you might tuck into a big plate of shit. But when you're in the big room, when you're doing your tour, you go, I wish I'd taken more risks back then. Do you know what I mean? So it's kind of a different process. Having said that”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But you're sort of going, this is part of the process. You know, you're like, I'm going to the gym. I've got to like, you learn more from those gigs. Do you know what I mean? And so it's still, don't get me wrong, it's still horrible. Saying something and then looking out.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It just depends because, like The truth is your mindset changes, right? Because, like, When I started doing standard, If I did badly, it's probably because I was shit, right? Whereas like now I feel like I'm all right at stand up and now the gigs that go badly, you need those gigs. You know, like it's like going to the gym. You know, if I'm trying to write a new tour, I've got to write new material. So I go on with 10 minutes of new material and I try it out. If it goes for nothing, I'm disappointed because none of the stuff's worked, but it doesn't. It doesn't make me think I'm a shit comedian. I'm disappointed. These people are going to leave thinking rumish was crap tonight. I can't do anything about that.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know. I mean, I definitely enjoy the buzz of doing life stand up more than anything else I do. And nothing else really matches up to it. I really do enjoy all the other stuff I do, but nothing can really compete with Standard. I think it's partly because of the possibility that you could really die on your ass. Like that is exciting, that it could go horrifically wrong.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes. Absolute smash time. So I had to swallow that down and just go, I've got to leave quickly so I can scream in the car. But I felt, mate, that I remember as the gig was turning, I didn't want to dip out of the... Because as soon as you go, this is going well, you're out the moment, right? So I had to just like just keep doing the gig, keep doing the gig, like had a great response. And I was like, Oh my god, that felt amazing. It was unbelievable, man. Amazing.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And like the host of struggle, the first act had struggled, and then they got me on. And I started and they were quiet. But by the end of the gig, it was like I was like having a great one. And that to the first time I'd ever taken a room from being quiet to being a great gig and I lost my mind. I mean, like, I was just like, the adrenaline was just insane, man. I came off just like, and you have to hide that, right? Because, you know, you don't want to walk off just going, yeah, man.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I can tell you a really specific gig, man, that it was quite a bit into. So you were doing all these pub gigs. And I started to get to a point where I was starting to do well at these gigs, right? I felt like, okay, I'm starting to get all right at this. You know, for that level, do you know what I mean? You certainly couldn't have put me on at the Apollo at that stage. But I was like, I was wanting to feel like I was starting to do well in these gigs. And what I hadn't done, what I'd never done is I'd never turned a room. So what I mean is whenever, however the gig was going, I would go on and follow suit, right? So if it was a good gig, I'd probably have a good gig. If it was a tough gig, I'd still do all right, but I'd have a tough gig. The first time I absolutely buzzed my tits off is it was a tough gig. I was on second.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“White to financial remuneration to having the nice house to all of that. And I just want to do this. I just want to be driven by wanting to do this thing. Do you know what I mean? Because if you chase the financial thing, it can still go horrifically wrong. So why am I doing that? Do you know what I mean? I might as well chase that could still go wrong, but at least I'm doing something I enjoy. Do you know what I mean?”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The milestones of success that everybody kind of attributes Whereas this thing allowed me to go, well, do you know what? I'm just going to do the thing I really want to do and let's see what happens. Do you know what I mean? And initially that was, you know, before I did comedy, that was teaching. I didn't do teaching because I wanted to make, well, you don't do teaching because you want to make money. But I wasn't doing teaching because I wanted respect from the community. I did it because I loved the idea of teaching children. And then I ended up moving into comedy and I just sort of thought I actually kind of have attached less.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know, I think that... The speed at which everything changed, the sort of my life experiences, as well as the fact that I was sort of drawn to comedy anyway. Know all of my family, like my dad was sort of all pretty comedically, you know, the love language at my house is taking the piss out of each other. My mum and dad, my brother and I just rinse each other all the time. That was what I knew. What my kids are like, that's what we're like in my house, you know, and I think that that's kind of contributes to it. But I think that. You know, again, I'm being sort of, I'm speaking from a position of deep ignorance, but like I think. Having seen the normal trajectory for my dad and the directory that they wanted for me go so spectacularly wrong has allowed me to accept taking a different path.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Their wiring is slightly different. I do genuinely believe that because I sort of whenever I talk to comedians who I really like, after a while I've talked to them, you go. I've spot There you go. There it is. They've all got that. They've all got a little bit of, you know, yeah, they've all got a little bit of faulty wiring, I think. I don't mean faulty. I mean why differently?”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know if I think that all comedians are depressed, I've said after a long description. Feels like I've supplied a lot of evidence to the contrary. But I don't think all comedians are depressed. But I do think that. I think that all comedians are wired slightly differently, certainly all the really good ones. Do you know what I mean? All the ones that something's happened. They've had something happen to them that has changed the wiring that has made them an outsider in some way. And it might be depression, but it might be... Know, it might be a change in circumstances, it might be a bereavement, it might be whatever. It might be a class shift, it might be the parents, you know. There's something about comedians that just”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'd fantasize about it. I'd like to think about how I was going to do it. I think about how easy it would be after that. I think about the repercussions after I'm gone. You know, I think I'd spend time thinking about it. And that was kind of the toughest time. And then as I kind of got older. Yeah, it's sort of got. I still had the same issues, but I started to kind of be able to deal with them a bit more effectively. And, you know, like, I managed to shut off the voice, you know, there'd be long times I don't have any voice at all. You know, like it's just gone. And then occasionally you sort of go dark again. But yeah, that was probably the most challenging time.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Terms of mental health I would say my late teens into my kind of early 20s was really challenging because. I remember I've got loads of memories of reacting really badly to... Like irrationally, like over the top reactions. I remember I didn't really do very well in my A levels because I was just pissing about. And then when the A level results came, I just thought this is the end. I can't carry on with my life. You know, I really was like, I can't I was thinking about taking my own life regularly. You know, like, yeah, there's loads of times, you know, there's loads of times during that period. When I thought about it, I did think about it a lot.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just know what's happening. Do you know what I mean? I need to get my nutrition in order. I need to get down the gym. I need to get a good night's sleep. Whatever I need to do to sort myself out, I need to do a bit of like, you know. Headspace or whatever it is. Do you know what I mean? To try and get myself back on an even kill. Whereas before I had those kind of coping mechanisms, who knew when I was going to come out of it? You know, I just would submit myself to it completely. And then it would be like chance that I would come out of it, you know.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You just become, you just have a different experience of the same thing. You can experience two things completely differently. And the truth is, all of these things you catastrophizing are fine. You know, like if I go, if I'm crap on a panel show, I don't get booked for that panel show again, so what? Like who gives a shit? Do you know what I mean? That's fine. It's totally cool. And then the other thing is to just kind of... Be aware of when I'm getting like that. You know, like sometimes you can't necessarily stop it, but I go, I've gone dark. Do you know what I mean? You sort of go, oh, this is happening, but this is, it's okay to feel like this. I don't need to block those thoughts, but they are irrational. And I just...”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just be present. So if I come here, I could come here going, if this podcast doesn't go well, then people are going to get in touch with me on social media. And then, you know, you can start getting yourself in a thing. You're not good enough to do this podcast. He shouldn't have interviewed you. Have you seen the other guests who's gotten this podcast? Why has he done this? Or if you just go, I'm just going to come here and enjoy this podcast. And I'm just going to be here in the chat with you. The way you experience things completely changes. Do you mean you just.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, one of them is perspective. Another one is just. It's completely surrendering yourself to the moment that you're in. So If you What I found is like a lot of kind of your, so this inner voice or whatever, or a lot of your worries and stuff like that, are things that are not happening to you at that time. You know, it's like, I'm worried this is going to happen. I'm worried I'm shit at this and this is going to happen. And one of the things I found is to just completely. be of this moment and this moment alone and sort of”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah yeah I do sort of agree with that and I think like One of the things I discovered is in conflict and things like that, you know, there was this David Foster Wallace did this commencement speech that I read and it was about like this thing that we're all hardwired to believe that we are the center of the universe, right? So like when you're going to work and somebody cuts you up or somebody takes ages in front of you at the supermarket, it's like, why is this happening to me? And then as soon as you flip the switch and go, this isn't happening to me. I'm like, this person's got their own thing and this person's got their own thing. As soon as you do that, your ability to just chill out is miraculous, right? And I do think that that is part of it. Like, you know, the belief that bad things happen to me. And what am I talking about? Do you know what I mean? What are you talking about? Do you think you're that important that they've got time for destiny to go, nah?”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Bad stuff space, or you're supposed to have bad experiences. And so then maybe that son, and I'm just freestyling here, but maybe that kind of gets hardwired into you so that even if you have positive things You kind of don't accept them. And I also think of, like, sometimes I've reflected on times when I was a kid, like really young, and done things that I would consider to be selfish. I remember have a vivid memory of being horrible to my brother. And the voice goes to me, that's you at your core. Like when you're being nice, that is conditioning. But that is what, you know, I've had that thought where you fundamentally is that person, that nasty person. But what you've done is like social conditioning has taught you that, you know, you allow your brain to go down those thought pathways, you know.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I don't I don't know. Why have I got it and other people haven't? I don't know. It's something I've thought about, particularly when I'm talking to people that don't have it or don't understand why I've got it. And I don't know, I don't know if it's like. I mean, I'm being super, super, pseudo psychologist here. I sort of think that, you know, when I said to you about, I sort of felt like everything was against us. You sort of go through this period of like during your formative years of a lot of things going badly or going negatively. You then start to see that as your default, and then if something goes right or if something's going well, then that is against type or that is against, you know, you're supposed to have shit happen to you. You're like,”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My mum and dad were trying to move me out, or they didn't care about my stuff. And then I really got pissed off about it. And then later on that evening realized that that was a massive overreaction and then recognized that I wasn't in a good headspace. I just felt like for me to have reacted like that probably was a sign that I was because I felt like I was going through some shit as well. You know, like, you know, you don't feel right in yourself. And then when I reacted like that, I thought I need to sort of speak to somebody probably. I'm not in a good place. And so I think two days later I looked into it and then started going.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So there was a very specific trigger. So, what happened was I had saved up because I've always been really into music and I'd saved up to get this like hi-fi. This really cool bit of stereo equipment. And I was too scared to take it to Uni because I just thought somebody's going to neck this or it's going to get smashed or whatever. So I left it at home in my bedroom at home. And my mum and dad had a lodger and he was sort of somebody that had come over from Sri Lanka that they were kind of helping out. He'd been sleeping, I'd been sharing a room. When I came back, I shared a room with him. And they'd moved that piece of stereo equipment, right? Because he needed to put some stuff somewhere or whatever. My reaction to something quite nothing was like, I really was like felt like...”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Will say you're not a very good dad, you're not a very good husband. If I come to do this podcast, it will go, why are you bothering to do this? You've got nothing interesting to say. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're going to try and get away with this. At some point, somebody's going to tap you on the shoulder and go, we all know. If you leave quietly, we won't say it. You know, that kind of thing. You know, I remember doing a run of, I was particularly busy. I had a one of about six panel shows, like different studio things over two weeks, and I was in a really bad place. And I turned up to each one of them with the steadfast belief that I was shit at this. And I've got to try and get away with it as much as I know like I was just in a bad place. I turned up and I'd be sitting there and like, you know, to be a comedian, you've got to be loose and like chilled out and relaxed. And it's almost like being, you know, I've read a lot about it, about being in a flow state, you know, being in the pocket, whatever you want to call it. You can't be in the pocket if you've got a voice in your head going, you're crap at this. So it's like...”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The voice comes, you know, the voice comes back. But you know what I mean? You start getting down on yourself, and you have to be on top of all of those things.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Had these free therapy sessions for students, and I went along to one and I did like a whole course or whatever. I remember telling my mum about it and she freaked out because what do you mean when you're going to a therapist? Is there something wrong with your head? You know, like she really like, because to her mind, does that mean you're mad? Do you know what I mean? Like, she didn't have that same, it's like her understanding of it. Now it's completely, you know, she's completely, you know, her attitude towards it's very different. But yeah, it's just something you have to contend with. Like at the moment, as I'm talking to you now. I've got coping mechanisms and I'm sort of on top of it, but I'm always”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's something that I've kind of got involved with as much as I possibly can is to sort of encourage those, you know, those kind of mental health conversations and stuff. I think we become much more open about it than we were in the past. But when I was at uni, I went to see a therapist that like...”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Successful comedian, yeah, yeah, yeah 100%. You sort of go, and it's not that I'm unhappy with my lot, it's not that I want anything, it's nothing external. I don't need anything external to change. I just have that, you just have that. You know, I've just always mentally had that. And yeah, like what you just said, I totally relate to because sometimes I'm not, you don't tell people because you just sort of go, they're going to go, what? What you want about? Like, what are you talking about? But people that get it get it. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, I do think.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I totally agree. I mean, it's such a difficult thing. If you don't have that, you don't understand why somebody would have that. You go, what are you talking about? Snap out of it.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I can't do this, or I'm not good at this, or you're getting away with this or whatever. Imposter syndrome, I guess, is an oversimplified way of describing it. Yeah, it's something I've sort of had to not had to deal with, something I've dealt with for as long as I can remember, really.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“was and continues to be something I really struggle with in terms of it being absolutely like rock bottom. You know, like you just, I just have. I have a prick living in my head that talks to me all the time. Do you know what I mean? And so, and that is something that to this day, as I'm sitting with you now, I have to contend with. Do you know what I mean? I've got like this inner voice. That is horrific. Do you know it's like a horrible, horrible person that I've got like, you know, this horrible voice in my head that just like regardless of whatever external evidence there is or whatever else happens, I will always have this kind of this inner belief. That I'm sort of a bit shitty. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm not.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's a great question because, to be honest with you, what my opinion of myself is now is something I really struggle with. And I've never thought about the origins of that The truth is, I think when I've come to reflect on it after that, and I remember thinking this at the time, I remember thinking, I don't know what I would have ended up like if we'd have stayed comfortable. You know, I don't know what person I would have been if I'd have stayed comfortable. And I'm telling you now, if that hadn't happened to us, I wouldn't be a comedian now. I wouldn't be the person I am now. Like, there's so many things that defined who I am. So much of me has been defined by that period But what I would say is my opinion of myself.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I went through a phase of thinking that we were just cursed because so many things, so many bad things happened in quick succession. I actually went through a phase as a kid of thinking that happiness is something that will always elude me or like I will never be comfortable. You know, I'm never, this is just what we're supposed to be. You know, like my parents are Hindu. They talk about, you know, talk about God a lot in our house. And so suddenly you just go, maybe God just doesn't like us, man. I genuinely had that genuine belief that maybe this is just how it's supposed to be. So it kind of pushed me the other way. I stopped working. I started bunking off. I just wasn't in the zone at all.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, when you're talking about when you wrote down your list of targets, it sort of had the opposite effect. I just thought, I don't give a shit anymore. I've seen my dad work really hard. I didn't know the full details of what he'd done. You know, all of that sort of stuff came out in the wash. But at the time, I think I've watched a man work really hard and then he ended up in prison and he split up with my mum. I mean, they got back together eventually. It's like it was terrible. And I actually went through a phase of thinking.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I still do think I'm quite lazy. I just was like all of my school reports said Ramesh is wasting his ability. Romish doesn't apply himself. Romish doesn't. And that was true before everything. Not to the same degree, but it was sort of true before everything kind of went topsy-turvy. But it was definitely true afterwards. You know, a lot of teachers say to me, you're not applying yourself at all. But I sort of think for a while I went through a phase of just having given up, to be honest with you, because it's sort of gone so to my mind, my world had been turned upside down so completely, I couldn't really see the point. I just sort of wanted to have a nice time. I wanted to enjoy myself. And that meant not working. Initially, it did not give me.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I remember thinking, like, what do I do here? I can't say, No, you can't use it. I started thinking, what can I say? My mum doesn't like girls using the toilet in my house. What can I possibly say? In the end, I said, I think I said we're between carpets. You know how it works. You get the carpets taken out. You just wait for a couple of weeks, for the floors are settled, then you get the new carpet.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I guess like there's. You know, things that would normally be okay, you suddenly panic over. So, for example, there was a girl I liked, and we were like, we were living on this cancer step, we were putting in a house, we'd be put in this house, but we couldn't afford carpet. So it was just we just had wooden, like just the wooden floors in there. You think it was fine, but just no carpets. It looked strange. And then we were walking around the estate and then this girl that I liked said, oh, do you mind if I come in and use the toilet? I mean. I nearly had a panic attack. I saw you.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I just didn't tell anybody. And I had really embarrassing experiences where when we moved out the bed and breakfast, we were put in this flat and there's no phone in the flat. There was a pay phone downstairs, but I didn't want my friends to know that it was a payphone. So I had to make them promise me they were going to call me exactly this time and then stand by the payphone so that nobody from one of the other flaps was going to answer it. Do you know what I mean? I was just so wanting to nobody to know what was going on.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's a weird thing. I was really enjoying my time at school and it was actually a respite from being at home because like when I went home, it was just like everything's gone to shit. My mum's really sad. And obviously I wanted to support her in that. But school felt normal. I didn't tell anybody at school what was going on at home, right? So I'd go to school and for all they know, everything's totally chill. So my dad went to prison on the 26th of March. My birthday's on the 27th of March, right? And I went to my mates. My mates organized like a little get-together watching films and stuff. I didn't tell them. I didn't tell them because I was just like, I don't want anybody to know about this. So I turned up to this birthday get together the day after because I didn't want to pollute my school experience with that. Do you know what I mean?”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, like to give you an idea, so I went to, I started at this state school and I really enjoyed it. And I had a slightly opposite experience to you in terms of like... When I was at the private school, I was one of the only Asian kids there and I got loads of like, I got a fair bit of racism. And then when I moved to state school, there were more kids of colour at that school. I still got, I mean, I got into my fair share of scrapes with racist. But”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No. I mean, there was a mate of mine that I'm still in touch with now. Who I kind of let know what was going on or whatever, but nobody else, no. I just like one day I was there, one day I wasn't.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, to pass on to my parents because my mum and dad were in such arrears. And then eventually I got, one day I came home from school and dad said to me, you can't, you're not going back tomorrow. Like, we've got to take you off. It's like midway through term. He said, you can't go back because he was just getting freaked out. Because he was in such arrears that he was worried about what would happen even if I turned up. You know, just not that they were going to do anything to me, but I think it got to the point where he just had to take me out. He couldn't see a way of paying the money anymore. So then like two days later, I was enrolled at the local school.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so I'd got a scholarship I'd at school What I didn't realise is that my mum and dad were struggling to pay. My dad had lost his job and was trying to make his way in other ways and was struggling to pay for the fees. And so the first I realized about it was like accountants from the school were turning up to my lessons with like an invoice going for.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, the house got repossessed. We found out about, I think that sort of period from start to finish, maybe 12 to 18 months, I think.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Being housed in a bed and breakfast by the council because they didn't have enough housing. So my mum, my brother and I were staying in a room in this bed and breakfast in Hawley. My mum liked she'd not been working, but she got herself a job as a cleaner. And then we were going to school from there, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it was just like, it just sort of like everything completely flipped, man. And so it was kind of... Yeah, it was just a complete one I stage. Do you know what I mean?”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was a mad, I can't remember how old it was, maybe like 11 or 12 or something. My mum said, I'm going to take you to this woman's house and I need you to go to the door and ask where your dad is because I've not seen him for two days and I've not heard from him. So she took me round to this house. We went to the door and I said, where's my dad? And she said, your dad was arrested two days ago. And it turned out that they'd been in the middle of doing some sort of deal or something and they were the target of some sort of police investigation in Leicester. The police stormed in or stormed in and arrested them. And my dad was being held and ended up going to prison for, he was sentenced to two years. So then everything kind of went It sort of went to chaos. Like my dad was in prison. We ended up.”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Basically, we ended up getting the first thing I had was that my mum said we're going to have to move out of this house. This house is being repossessed. So my mum and dad couldn't keep up their mortgage repayments And then we ended up moving to house on this councillor's day that my dad had got off a friend or was renting off a friend. We were there for a little bit. And then while we're at that house, my mum found out that my dad had been sort of regularly sleeping and started a relationship with this other woman. And was intending on leaving us to go and start a life with this other woman. And so that threw my mum's kind of world upside down. And then basically the sort of trigger for everything going really kind of mad was we hadn't seen my dad for a couple of days. And my mum said,”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sort of unber notes to me, my dad was kind of was not doing great at work. He was starting trying to do other, he was sort of messing around. What do I mean by messing around? Like he was just a bit of a loose cannon. Do you know what I mean? I think it had got to his head a little bit. He drank a lot. He was a bit of a womanizer. And that was starting to get noticed at his work, and then he started having ideas of going off and doing other things. He ended up getting, I think he got fired from his job. And then he started trying to do this kind of import-export deals, which at the time we thought, oh, that's my dad's new path. But as it turns out, was illegal. But like he...”
2023-02-09 · The Diary of a CEO · Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT