YouSaid · the spoken record

Ruthie Henshall

lines on the record: 45
first: 2008-08-17
most recent: 2008-08-17
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“It would be over the rainbow, Eva Cassidy, because that really sums up my life. I've always had so much hope and I want to get the most and the best out of life and all the richness and the learning that there is. And I believe there is a wonderful place over the rainbow, and I'm sort of almost over it.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Selfish giant by Oscar Wilde It's actually a children's book, but I can't read it to my children actually with hacking a lump in my throat but I find it beautiful.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“My last choice is Faith Hill, and there's a better place. And I think this actually kind of comes full circle with Eva Casty, my first one over the rainbow, because it's about that better place. I'm getting to a place in my life where this is becoming a better place.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would never push her into anything she didn't want to do, but if that ends up being, and Lily, if that ends up being their passion, I will embrace it.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Dolly came out of the womb dancing. I have never seen anything like it. Dolly, if she does not go on the stage and dance my judgment's very poor. But”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And it's a different kind of light and joy. And it's also, any mother will say as well, it's full on and it's hard work at times, and it's tiring because it's constant.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, that's it, really. You know, my sister Noel, we were very similar, which is why. Why it hurts so much to have her not here because We were so similar we were the entertainers, we were the ones who made people laugh, and we sort of buoyed up the atmosphere. And I fell apart and I reached out for help, and she was falling apart and she couldn't. She really couldn't do that. And I miss her every single day. She made the decision. And that's what she wanted to do. And I'm trying to respect that because I wouldn't want her to be here and in pain. But the hard thing for me to accept is that I know there's a way out of the pain. But the depression took her down so far that she couldn't even see it anymore.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, it is. I mean, I'm much more comfortable in my own skin at 41 years old. You know, I'm really finding happiness and joy and a sense of peace. It's been a journey to get there and a very, very proud to say that I will take the help now.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And finally I reached out for help, because I'd got to a stage where I wasn't even going out of my apartment very much, and I lost so much weight. I just was becoming a complete recluse. I didn't want to be even with people anymore. It was crazy, but yet I go into the theatre and yeah, how are you? I put on that mask and there I was.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I really hit the wall that was when I had to deal with the sexual abuse. I had to deal with what it had done to me because I was very, very unhappy. I kind of fell apart. I remember vividly I was doing Velma in Chicago. And offstage, just before I went on, I was thinking about how I could kill myself. Where would I get pills from? You know, I'd need to do sleeping tablets because, you know, and this was what was going on in my mind. And then the music started and I shot onto stage. There I was in character doing a comedy number. And the detachment that I was able to do was quite shocking, really.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, most of it had to do with the fact that I have worked so continually in the theatre and I love it with a passion that I've never really sort of gone that way. I've been up for a couple of films when I was in the States. I mean, of course I would love to do it, but I think this is what I do And other people do that film thing better. That's what they do. This is what I do.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes he is I met him doing Peggy Sue got married and he blew me away. He has a voice that I don't know how he does it. It's from God, it really is because on one hand he's part of a rock group called Van Tramp, but he's from musical theatre and so he's able to turn his voice to anything. And I've always said this. I mean, it sounds a bit crass probably, but when I met him, my ovaries were screaming. I knew he was the father of my children.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“No, I think I had hopes that we could walk on in our relationship. But really and truthfully, I think I was very aware that I couldn't be able to do what I do for a living if I'd have stayed with him. Because if you think about it, I would be in the theatre, eight shows a week. They'd have to check out the theatre every night, check everyone's bags. It would be just impossible. And there is nothing at that stage that was more important than what I did.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I did. You know, I met them all, and what I found was a lovely family, and it's going to sound totally bizarre. But when they're behind closed doors, they're a family. And they have cookouts like a family and they talk like a family.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Not in the back of my car, but I was definitely getting smuggled in there, in my own car. But it didn't make me nervous who he was, and”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I went there a lot, yes, I did, because he lived there, and Makes When you sort of say, Oh yes, I'm going to my boyfriend's tonight. Nobody knew who he was.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I did, yes. It was on and off, really. I mean, solidly for a couple of years, but then sort of on and off for sort of five in all. We couldn't quite let go”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“A bit of a party girl. Oh my goodness, yes. Absolutely. I didn't stop long enough to feel. That was my whole thing. And alcohol to me was just fantastic because you could check out with that, you know. And I loved partying with people. And I was in the West End and I was earning good money. And it was just, I couldn't believe my luck.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“The next piece of music is footprints in the sand by Liona Lewis, and it's about a man who has a dream and his life flashes across the sky, and he's walking along the beach and he sees footprints in the sand, but at his lowest points there's only one set of footprints, and when he's okay, there are two sets of footprints which are supposed to be Jesus and him walking together. And he says, you know, God why when I was so low did you leave me because there are only one set of footprints? And he says it was then that I carried you and I feel that there have been times in my life when I have been carried.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“and fed up with secrets, and I'm fed up with how we are ashamed of certain things. You know, my sister committed suicide. It's something that nobody talks about in this country, but it so closely follows the fact that she was depressed and depression is rife, but she couldn't reach out for help.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes, and in the end coming round, which at forty one I have to being much more happy with myself and at peace with myself, you know, I say it's my church. It's also my therapy. I mean, I go on that stage every night. I sing a particular song called How Did I Get to Where I Am. And I think of my sister every night and how she must have been before she died she committed suicide. So that allows me to grieve for her. So therefore I get to cry genuinely every night for my sister and that is must be therapy in some way because I'm getting it out. It's not inside anymore and I refuse. You asked me earlier about why I decided to talk about things and I have talked about my sister.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I am tired when I come off a stage I am I do put my heart and soul into it the show that I'm doing at the moment you know it's quite harrowing in places and your day revolves around that two and a half hours a night and you've got to find a way to keep your voice in good Nick and your body in good nick but I don't know still at the age of 41 how to pull back and it fascinates me how the roles that I've played seem to be life imitating art a lot of the time it's it's almost where I am in my life the shows reflect it and I'm able to bring and heal a part of myself.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“The next track is The Lord's Prayer from David Fanshaw's African Sanctus, and I danced to this at my school. But more than that, I think the Lord's prayer is absolutely beautiful. You know, as much as I wouldn't call myself a religious person, I absolutely believe in God. I believe that I am being looked after now because I've been led to some amazing people and places.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yet yes, oh absolutely I mean Claude Michelle, who of course I'm now doing the show Marguerite for, he said he remembers the first time I went on for Ellen, and I came off and he said You came off for your bow and you said I have been at the front I am never going back and he remembers that vividly Well you would.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Absolutely and from and from the early years I was always picked out, so that obviously people did see something that was, you know, different. You know, I got the jobs, and if I wasn't I knew where I wanted to get, I did not want to be in the chorus, and that was cemented to me when I was in Miss Saigon, and it was wonderful to be a part of that world premiere and open a show, but it really cemented to me I was not going to be Bargirl number three for the rest of my life, you know, I had to be at the front. I was”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Just be about to get into trouble, and it was like she'd pop out of nowhere. Can you help me carry these books, Ruth? Off we'd go.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh yes there was a lady at my school funny enough her name she was the dance teacher and she was called Mrs Tapping How appropriate but she was extraordinary because she literally took me under her wing. I mean when I went to school, I was always the clown because I was trying to make people laugh all the time. I was always getting into trouble and I mean, I went back years later, the headmistress asked me to go back and open up the home economics department. Why home economics? Because I was rubbish at cooking, but I went into the staff room and all the teachers say, Oh, look, it's naughty Ruthie Hensch or Ruth Henschel. Oh, cheeky Ruth Henschel. And there were all these kind of comments coming at me, and I went into the dance hall, and Mrs. Tat was there, and I opened my mouth to speak to her, and I just burst into tears and I said, Was I really that bad at school? And she said, No, you were just in pain. And she would be there.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It was, from the moment that I started, I was lifted up by the teachers because they saw something in me that obviously they thought was talent.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“My third is for good from the Broadway cast recording of Wicked. There's this saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And this is about my sister Noel, who recently died. And she was a huge influence in my life, a huge influence. She was nine years older. And she was such a funny, wonderful woman. She's changed my life in a way that, you know, her life and her death has changed my life.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“No, no, she didn't send me. I mean, it really was one of those things that I did on my own. There was a girl who used to practice ballet in the playground. And I was a real tomboy. And I remember saying to her, you know, why do you practice that ballet? Because it's a bit sissy, really, isn't it? And she said, well, if you think it's that sissy, go and try it yourself. And the gauntlet was down and the door was opened and I just ran in. And it was extraordinary to find something, to channel all these feelings that were going on inside me, to channel them into something was extraordinary, and I really believe, you know, saved little Ruthie.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh it was It was wonderful that It was utterly wonderful, like I said, the light came on, dancing to me was, I mean I had so much feeling, no technique, but so much feeling. Did you?”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I never felt it, it never went in. It didn't really permeate because, funnily enough, nothing was ever enough or good enough, which has kept me being the driven person I think that I am”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh yes, absolutely. Well, when you have no self worth and no self esteem, you immediately assume you're bad. And you walk through life with everything reflecting that to you. You know, I was always sort of going out and getting drunk and behaving badly and relationships I found very, very difficult, very, very difficult to stay in a relationship. I was always running.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“My second choice is children will listen from Sondimes into the woods. And this, for me, says it all. And it's just frightening to me that more people don't understand what their behaviour and what their words do to a child. I look at my children and I want so much for them and I don't want them to hurt. I know I can't save them from everything, but I know enough to know that I have a huge impact on their life and I will not take that lightly.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I was about thirty. And I was in so much pain that I finally went and got some help. And of course, it all came tumbling out. And to tell my father and my mother, of course, but to talk to my father about it and have him write to this person because he felt he couldn't even go. and to say to him, you know, you cannot come near any of us anymore. and to finally be protected by the person who I wanted to be protected by. But of course I didn't tell him, so what was he to do?”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And that abuse the sexual abuse changed me instantly at four and a half years old when it began. It changed me instantly. And I can't explain a lot of things about me and my life without taking that into consideration because it instantly made me feel alone, it instantly made me feel bad it instantly made me feel that obviously there wasn't a god because how would that happen and it has affected every relationship in my life?”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I've always felt that, especially now we live in this celebrity culture where everyone is looking at all these celebrities and saying, you know, they've got it all. And what we're not realizing is that everybody has their stuff. Everybody goes through the roller coaster that is called life. And I felt very strongly, I want to break this myth that, you know, you get fame, you get fortune, you get to do an amazing job, that everything is fixed because it isn't fixed.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think every child does. My mother says that I used to like to entertain, but I think that's the role I took on because things at home could be difficult, so I was always trying to lighten the atmosphere. And if it looked like something was going to kick off, all right, you know, I'll just make everyone happy.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's hard to describe our relationships because we were close, but yet there was also, you know, we all just wanted to get out of the house because it was quite hard there. Did you”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It was a difficult childhood from the point of view that my parents had a very, very volatile relationship. And so we saw an awful lot of arguing. And that was hard as a child to watch that.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, of course Judy Garland is the defining, you know, somewhere over the rainbow her version, but I've never heard a version since that has touched me like this one. Also, it has great meaning for me because every Christmas we used to watch The Wizard of Oz. And this song really for me as a child meant an awful lot. It's a song of great hope that there is something better over the rainbow.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Very much so. I've done television and I've done live theatre and of course there is nothing like live theatre because it's a relationship and the more you give the more they give and the more they give the more you give. It's an energy thing.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It makes it like a double life. I love my home life and I love my children, but it's like having a double life. I get on the train and I go into work, and you have to concentrate on that show for, you know, two and a half hours, whatever it is. And so there's nothing else to think about, and it's like being set free for two and a half hours, to be whoever.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh I always look at the theatre as my church really. There is there is nothing that gives me that feeling. I'm totally passionate about what I do. It really fulfills me.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes, I think I was. I've always thought in my life as a little bit like being on an express train that I couldn't get off of. It was going so fast that I couldn't see the scenery either. But I had an unbelievable drive since being a child. And when I found dancing, it was like somebody had turned the light on in my life. And so I couldn't get enough of it.”
2008-08-17 · Desert Island Discs · Ruthie Henshall · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source