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Shahroo Izadi

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2023-02-16
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2023-02-16
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  1. “Yes I think so. I've recently hurt someone's feelings, and it was very upsetting for me as well. But it was appropriate because It wasn't all mine to carry. and it was appropriate to share. It wasn't nice for me either. But it wasn't all mine. It was okay to say to them. This is this is what's upset me about you and I know it will upset you to hear this. But I shouldn't be carrying all of this when. Responsible for some of it. And that will have upset them. Yeah.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “It's twofold. I want one, I want to convince people that kindness gets shit done. Being nice to yourself and taking the same advice you would give the people you love and closing the gap between what you would tell them and what you tell yourself and what actions you would tell them to take and what actions you take yourself, that's kindness and it gets shit done one and two now that I've seen what's come back from the second book with the last diet I am determined to have binge eating and powerlessness and lack of trust that people have as a direct result of weight loss diets to die with my generation. Like it's got to go. Because people my age, they know that they don't want to pass this on to their kids. No one does. It's going with me.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “At times when I was bigger, it meant that I wasn't being good to myself. But that is not the case for everyone, by any means. In fact, for many people, it's quite the opposite. So that's why I think because it's quite a nuanced conversation and one that I've given an enormous amount of thought to, don't get me wrong, I didn't. I wasn't naive about coming out to talk about things like this. I knew I needed to work out where I sat, but I knew I meant well. And I knew I was on the right path, but I had to understand where I sat. So that's where now I think people sometimes, they don't ask me about it because they're not sure I'm on. And the fact is it's both.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “I was enjoying food, or it was too much of a good thing. That's why I understood addiction. If you saw that I was overweight according to whatever. Was always because I it was those were the times I hated food the most was the bane of my life I barely tasted it I know but the same if you speak to someone who feels dependent or powerless over alcohol they're not going to be like oh I love booze It becomes when you're powerless, it becomes horrible. And so there was a space for me to. Like myself a lot more when I was bigger. Because I neglected all these other habits of self care, I wasn't drinking water, I wasn't like just basic stuff.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “I think it's really messed up that we can't tell for a lifetime, especially women. Lose weight, lose weight, lose weight, lose weight. Oh, no, you can't go on a diet and you're not allowed to want to lose weight. You have to love your body exactly how it is. Meantime, a bunch of us tried to do what they said and came out of the diets bigger and with a eating disorder that makes us feel powerless even to follow common sense nutritional guidelines. So, yeah, I don't have any problem with people wanting to do whatever they want to do. It's just that in my case, it came as a result. I was never before lockdown when I'd done all this work and I had all the methods and all the things I share. There was never a time when I was overweight because I liked food.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “Example of what it is to just be a human whose body fluctuates without much judgment or emotion around food. And it was a wonderful, important lesson for me. And I'm really glad now on reflection, even though it wasn't planned. I did put on weight during that period because I needed to see that it didn't matter anymore, and it wasn't because I was neglecting myself, because usually I run around town all day, and I wasn't doing that. And it was so lovely to just have that beef of regular body reasons and not shame or guilt or sadness or abuse or numbing out whatever. So, yeah, I love food now. Plus. I'm really glad no one talks to me about it anymore because of the book that I think they're scared to I think people don't quite know where I sit because I think it's fine for people to want to lose weight.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “And wonderful. I never thought this day would come. I eat what I like, I look forward to eating I don't feel like I need to justify to anyone what I'm eating or why I'm eating it. And great thing happened, which for me, you know, with writing self-help books and stuff, you know, especially when you're telling people you're going to change for good. And I've changed for good. Well, I only wrote it five years ago. What do they know? So sometimes you have to do things privately for your own integrity to be like, oh, thank for that. And lockdown, I put on weight. Didn't eat differently. I didn't feel bad. I thought I looked great. And I was like, yes, I needed this. And then after lockdown, I got into fitness and I've lost a bit more weight. And honestly, I don't like myself less or more. So during lockdown, what I saw was”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Going to start second guessing everything you said. You're going to sketch out not want to talk to anyone about it because they're going to ask you questions and you're going to think you forgot something. So I just preempted it. As we say in addiction, I play the tape forward. And then it started making it more like, oh, yeah, this is what my brain does to keep me safe, take me back to my place where I'm used to. But actually, the last hundred times it tried to do that, I had nothing to be worried about. So I kind of just realized that I wasn't by myself anymore. I was with myself. And we were working out what was going on. And it got a lot more predictable. And that made it a lot less personal, which made me a lot more calm.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “and eventually much like whether it's the militant mindfulness that I come at or the more like meditative stuff and the more old school stuff it was essentially a separation between what I'm thinking right now and what's actually going on and a curious compassionate look into Why my thoughts are going the way they are. And also, it's an understanding, it's a preemption. So, for example, I should. Well, I probably won't now that I've said it, which is another thing. Like, get it out. Put it in the light. Loads of us are suffering with anxiety. To a different degree, of course. But pre-empting it made it a lot more predictable and a lot less personal. So, for example, the last big podcast I went on, I anticipated, I actually wrote myself a letter before and I was like, after you leave, even if you think you smashed it.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “Writing for sure. So when I'm panicking about something, most of the time, you know, there's that confirmation component of just like, yep, and it did happen. You only remember the times it did happen, right? So I started collecting all the things I thought were going to happen that I was worrying about and just writing them down or just saying them into my phone. And then every now and then I'd reflect and be like, wow, good to know that I need evidence. I need stuff. So I was like, all right, well, the last hundred times you worried about this, it did not happen. And so that helped me calm down. That made it compelling for me. Breathwork? Talking about anxiety, understanding anxiety and what it is and what the brain's trying to do and about keeping you safe and all that stuff.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “So far, the more I'm myself, the more it seems to go all right, which for me personally is, of course, considering what I've told you is an extraordinary thing. And other than when I have to say my name on the spot, which I know a lot of stammerers have, I don't seem to be stammering. And I know that it was a trauma response now. And I think that a lot of the self-compassion work that I've done has helped me to calm down. Like a lot of this stuff, realize that if I stammered all the way through this. I'd still be someone who was worth listening to.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “I am really good. This is the best I've ever been. Because everything's not great. There's a lot going on. And I'm fine. That's why that's how I know. I know how I would have responded to things that are happening right now two, three, five years ago. This. You know, I slept really well last night. I don't mind telling you. I kind of felt like this would go well. Like this was my time to tell people what I'm passionate about and speak to the people who feel like some people don't get them. So right now I feel great because it's kind of feels like my nervous system's kind of got the message. You're safe, you're harmless, you're just trying to be nice. And no one's coming for you like.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “The first actionable step Practicing into the way you speak to yourself. I think ultimately it comes down to that. I think, listen in, and the great news is, if you try to change a habit however small, it's an incredibly effective way to turn up the volume. Listen in on what's going on. Inquire compassionately curiously what am I telling myself? What are my assumptions about myself in this situation? My assumptions about what I deserve curiously, write them down, think about whether you'd say that to someone else. And then start thinking about where it came from. Start seeing whether it's true. Just start curiously inquiring because I think that's the best thing you've got and it's free.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “You know, I think it's also important to remember that I was all the great things I am now then. That was the point. I was allowed to enjoy my life then, so there's also a part of me that's just like wow, so real shame. It's a real shame that you didn't kind of lean into the other stuff, because I was always fun, it was always funny, I was always kind. I wish I had known at that age that you're allowed to think that you're good things too, that's okay.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “I can't believe how quick she was. Think that people would be upset with her or ashamed of or that she should be ashamed. I can't believe there wasn't that extra layer that said gosh. This is tough. This isn't nice. Quote, you're having to put yourself through or you think you have to put yourself through. There wasn't even a bit of that. It was as though I was born with the knowledge. It's as though I had told myself that I was born with the knowledge to make the best decisions for myself ever. And if I wasn't, then it was a failing on my part and I was faulty. And I don't feel that anymore, thank goodness.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “It was horrible. And the day I came out of surgery, I remember with the emergency surgery, they told me they were going to try and keep it in. And I remember I came out and the woman went Really sorry we had to take it out, and I burst into tears of joy. I hated it. The whole thing, I hate the lying, hate the shame, hate the guilt. My body didn't feel good. Because even when I lost weight, it wasn't because I was taken care of myself. It's because I was living on so little. It just felt like another version of punishment, you know? It did not do good things for me”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “I won't go into details, but it can cause a different eating disorder. I lost a bunch of weight. People started being really nice. They reflect back to you your worst fears. You lose weight. They'll be like, oh wow. We were so worried about you finally. Now you can live your life, and you're like, shit, I thought that was just me. And then I felt ashamed because I thought like I'd copped out. Now I realize on reflection, it's extraordinary that I thought I'd copped out. And do you know what? The first version of the kindness method doesn't have that in it. I wasn't ready I hadn't forgiven myself. Being so mean to myself. I hadn't forgiven myself for feeling so shameful. And I hadn't told some of my closest friends who were there at the time, and I'm sure knew. But had the grace and the kindness not to embarrass me?”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “Yeah, I'm always careful about talking about it because, again, I'm afraid that people are going to be, actually, do you know what? I'm not promoting it by any means. Sorry. I know that there are people for whom it's been really helpful But it did not teach me to eat differently. And the reason I had an emergency operation is because my relationship with food was so profoundly important to me. I didn't understand at the time that I... I've never talked to anyone about this, but the band moved. I overrate I kept having it tightened because I didn't want to be allowed to overeat. I thought if I've done this to myself, and honestly, Steve, like the pain. It was horrible. It was horrible. I felt so ashamed. And then I lost a bunch of weight because it actually can.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “Well, secretly, close friends knew, but a lot of my close friends didn't know. I was just done. When I got to my heaviest, I was like, that's it. I'm done. 126 kilos?”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “Assure you, I've spoken to enough people now who are going, I know exactly what she's talking about. That's the extent to which intelligent people start moving away from intelligent decisions because diets needed us to come back. They needed you to be powerless. They need you to need guidelines or else you need to pay more and pay someone else and go find another guru or get another diet. As opposed to teach you how to take the same advice you'd give another person. There is no way that if someone was trying to manage their weight and they ate something bad, you would say, Oh, well, you've blown it now. You should have fifteen more.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “To make judgments that feel smart. You know, I got to a stage where I was doing diets where someone was showing me a banana and a canister of cream, and I would be like, well, the canister of cream is obviously better for me. How messed up, and you know what? I know you think it's weird”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “And so once they have managed that and built the self-efficacy that they so deserve from managing to break the all or nothing thinking, trust themselves around food, learn to enjoy food again, sit in the discomfort of realizing that they're going to be okay without it. Get on board with the fact that they find it hard when other people don't and build their self-esteem that way and use the unhelpful behaviors as a vehicle to remembering how capable they are. And they can just take the same advice they would give to another person because they're not scared of food anymore and they're not scared of themselves anymore. And they like themselves, so they're more inclined to make”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “The diet of learning to stop trusting yourself and taking common sense advice. Now, obviously we can go into whose body what and blood types and da-da-da. But ultimately, the people I speak to are doing so much, so many of their behaviors are causing them to gain weight, a lot of weight. Because of the guilt and the shame and the all or nothing and the scarcity mindset and the feast of famine that has come with weight loss diets with the best of intentions.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “Which is an eating disorder, a binge eating disorder, which is wildly damaging their mental health and their self-esteem and their ability to enjoy their lives. Most of the people who come to me now couldn't give a shit about losing weight anymore. They're like remove this lack of trust, remove this powerlessness, like make this end. How did this come about? And that was because of weight loss diets, in my opinion.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “Because I will never gonna die again. I don't want anyone to go on a diet again. They didn't work. They just didn't work. Like, whenever anybody says to me, like, Yeah, but so and so is overweight and it's unhealthy or whatever. They have to go on a diet. I'm like, well, no, actually quite the contrary. I'm now working with people who have not only been left not with the physical results that they wanted, but have been left with a much more serious issue.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “Don't be hungry at that time. Do you know what sometimes I get really deep in the weeds about binge eating and policy around it and obesity and how we've got to take down all the diets and everything? And sometimes I forget to say stuff like don't be hungry, that helps. There's so many deep psychological stuff and we all have our own complex relationship with food and stuff. And that's what's really difficult about talking about food is because it is all the good things too. It really is. And much like with alcohol and other drugs, when people who struggle and feel powerless around it feel really misunderstood because they hate it by that point. It's the bane of their life. all they think about all day have I been good have I been bad what am I going to have was that okay conflicting nutritional advice like let's go out of hand”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “Exactly. So if I were you, I'd impose friction first, like put that drawer somewhere else. And then when you go looking at another place, start thinking to yourself, God, why is that? It disrupts the autopilot.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “Easier for myself to do the thing that I do. Like back in the day when I used to hate exercise, I used to go to sleep in my gym kit. Was just one less thing to do.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “If you were trying to build up a streak and get some time under your belt, yeah, maybe what I would recommend under those circumstances impose some friction. Give yourself some speed bumps to start thinking about whether you actually want to do it. So for example, if I want to, if I'm working into the night writing, which I love doing, invariably at like 1 a.m. I start thinking about Deliveroo. About 3 a.m., I regret it strongly So, with that in mind, I don't just delete Deliveroo, Cardi tells her out, addresses out. It's not because I don't trust myself Because I want to put in moments where I think you didn't want to do this? Do you remember why you didn't want to do this? Make it harder for myself to do the thing that I don't want to be doing.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “This question all the time about abstinence and sobriety and whether You know, again, there are some people for whom it's easier. My approach is very much more for the general population. And so a lot of the time, it's more, you know, we all sit in the middle and I want you to feel like you can have chocolate in your house. Consume it and enjoy it and not feel powerless over it. So at the core of my message is you decide what you do with your hands. And any negotiation you have internally about it is a jumping off point and doesn't actually make you do anything and is an insight into how what you're telling yourself about the sugar and what it means and how you'll feel if you don't have it.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “And what else Kickoff, yeah Would you blame the kid for crying? You'd expect the kids to cry. It's used to something. You wouldn't make its life miserable. You'd make it as comfortable as possible and you'd just repeat that in a row until it realizes that it's come out unscathed. Compassion I know why you feel this way. Of course you feel this way. You deserve to feel this way. You scream all you want, babe. That doesn't mean I'm going to do what you want. The conversation you have with your body over and over again, where you hold compassion and firmness together until you've done it in a row until it's easy. My angle.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “So, how can I change habits which involve sitting in discomfort and craving and urges and still be kind to myself? Because being kind to myself means doing whatever I want whenever I want to do it. And what I always tell them is it's kind of like if you, let's say you have a kid and you read an article somewhere and realized that this treat you've been giving your kid at 11 a.m. every day for the last year is actually not very, it's really unhealthy. So, as of tomorrow, you're not going to give the kid the treat. You know you're not going to give the kid the treat. The kid doesn't know yet. Kid wakes up tomorrow. It's 11 o'clock. You're not going to give them the treat. What's the kid going to do?”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “That's the best thing you've got because what you're chasing there is to feel smart and calm and proud of yourself. And you already know what you tell someone else? So the more you do that, and the more you take that advice, and you see the results, obviously, and it actually works, the more you start doing it in other areas of your life. And my job is to make myself redundant to people as quickly as possible. I think we should have been taught this at school. We have to change habits our whole lives. Like, why is life dragging us along and making us change them when we're all depleted and desperate? So, yeah, I would say it's the conversation you have with yourself. And the conversation you have with yourself very often people say to me, like, how can I hold kindness and firmness at the same time, right?”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “It's, I think, the best bet you have is the conversation you have with yourself when your plans don't go to plan. I think, first of all, you prepare by, yeah, you can have the best plans in the world, but you should assume that your plans will not go to plan. And even with the best tools in the world, you should assume that you're not able to preempt every single trigger. Single challenge That you do it is you start to reframe challenge as an opportunity to voluntarily demonstrate your capacity. Like, here we go. I'm off grid right now. And all I've got is the advice I'd give another person and the conversation I have with myself that's going to turn into what I do with my hands. Well, don't do. And I think that if you really focus on making that conversation one that holds firmness and compassion together.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “It's not about thinking you're going to be able to focus on what's bad. And also, you should anticipate that in a week's time you're going to want to use. Should put things in place”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “So, what you've done is you've punished yourself, you've put things in place Say this has got bad I need to create this environment and control and isolate. So that I don't do the bad thing. Did you establish what you're afraid you might have to experience if you change? Did you identify if you get there? What if it's not as good as you think? If you get there, will you have to do all the things that you told people you're going to do when you get there? Is the process of getting there one that you're familiar with? All of that, what do you think you're going to have to get through? What are you going to have to prove? What triggers you're going to have to respond to differently? These are the things people don't talk about. What self-doubt are you going to have to push against and disprove and update along the way?”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “Yeah. So it's essentially saying here we are today. This is where I'm at. This is where I've got to. This is where I'm starting. Usually, it's quite a fed up letter, like something's got to change. Here we go. But what it does is it sort of anchors the process and says, right, this is where we begin And then when we start moving on to is the fact that you already know what to do. I believe that the people who buy my books already know what to do. And I believe that a lot of people feel really patronized when they're told what to do. They know what to do. And if they don't, they can Google it. They don't know why they're not doing it despite wanting to do it. So then we start thinking about closing the gap between the advice you'd give another person. So I just say to people, what would you like to be doing? I don't give them an A or a B”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “Well, we would get an honest baseline of where you're at now. So that's why in the book we do like a snapshot letter without judgment, totally private, to just say like, I think a lot of the time we create plans for who we want to be as opposed to who we are. And we use this stuff to find ourselves. And I think, first of all, you meet yourself and you get on board with who you meet. And then I would help you to understand why you've come to be this way.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  39. “So if you came to me, it wouldn't be just the problem wouldn't be I have low self-worth. It would be I want to change this behavior.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  40. “Only beneath us will understand this, but being able to start a binge and then bring it back. As opposed to just starve myself for weeks or whatever I was doing before. Is a power and a trust in myself and an ability to close the gap between what I would tell other people to do and what I do and a sense of integrity. When no one's watching That seeps into every area of my life. But the trick was to allow myself to find something incredibly difficult that other people thought was a no brainer, and not think that that meant I was stupid or weak, but just that's the way things have gone for me.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  41. “When it comes to acknowledging our, say, our professional accomplishments or academic accomplishments, the people I work with a lot of the time feel so ashamed and guilty about this thing that still eludes them. That's the bit. They'll be like, yeah, I got a pay rise, but I still haven't sorted this out. People don't know how I behave when no one's watching. Like, that bit, that's what drags people down. It doesn't let them really... Really internalize and process their capacity. Because, well, for example, I Written two books, that's cool. They've done well. Writing books was not hard for me. Doing this is way, this is, you know, being able to not stammer while I speak to you. I had the confidence to sit and breathe before I came in here rather than look at notes.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  42. “What I've noticed is that when people give themselves permission to find whatever they find difficult difficult, whatever it is, even if it's subjectively far more simple than all the things they're managing to do every day, something extraordinary happens. And that tends to have a really extraordinary impact because usually with the people I work with, because I'm talking about like booze and other drugs and food and stuff, there's a lot of shame and guilt associated with it. So that extra bit, we all find it difficult to acknowledge, you know, a lot of us find it difficult to say I was great at this. And that's the end of the sentence without any caveats or, and it could have been da-da-da.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “Well, this is a very new, this is a hot take because it's through an observation. The way that I come up with things is I spend as many hours as I can speaking to people, human beings, one after the other, as many human beings as I can in different contexts, and seeing how they are using these tools and what's working for them and what isn't. And for imposter syndrome, Essentially Not being able to internalize. Accomplishments feeling like a fraud, which I've had. Managing my binge eating and my anxiety differently. Helped me. It changed my imposter syndrome for the better. And I'm seeing why that is now. I've just started working well. Now that I'm so passionate about binge eating as a result of weight loss diets being a thing that goes with my generation”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “They're not going to say Oh it's because you're weak and you're rubbish just like your teachers told you there's no point starting until Monday. You might as well, you know, destruct this whole thing for now. You might as well throw the whole plan out just because of one tiny blip because you weren't perfect. It's not just kind. It's just not good advice Yeah, I'm just not here for the tough love.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  45. “Through the discomfort involved in achieving the most meaningful long-term goals. So their behaviors and the values are aligning. And people would write, like, you can do this, you're amazing. What can I do for you? It's just a blip. You can learn from it. Think of all the other amazing things you've done. And then I would get them to cross that person's name out and write their own name in in the spirit of starting to say, look, this is by your own admission. These are the things that you would tell someone you love. Then over time, I realized, if I give someone a hundred grand to motivate someone who's fallen off track,”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  46. “Well, no, actually, if you think about it, like when you tell someone you love is struggling to get back on track. You don't pretend that what they're trying to do is simple. And you don't tell them to throw in the towel. You remind them of their capacity to do something difficult. You remind them of the times they've done difficult things in the past. And you support them. Plus, you give them perspective. This is what I mean about the smart thinking too. You don't go, oh, well, that one blip, you've got to just spiral. This is a terrible catastrophe. You say, well, just get back on track. And you know, back in the day, like the first thousand times I had this conversation about self-talk, I used to always use the example in groups and stuff like think of someone you love. Write down what you'd say to someone you love. Write their name in the middle of the page. If they'd fallen off track and you were tasked with getting them back on track.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  47. “Me, oh, all of it. Like, of course, I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm weak-willed. Some people can do it. That was just, that was a fluke anyway that I had a bit of a streak. People like me don't get things like that. Mainly I'm weak. I'm stupid. I must hate myself. Because bear in mind, all these people are giving you these like legit reasons why you should do other stuff and you're going the other way and telling you that you're harming yourself. And you know that you are. You know, I'm powerless. I'm weak. I can't trust myself. All of it. And then thinking up like extreme ways to sort it out.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  48. “When you write down, it's one of the exercises in both books, actually, when you start writing down, what are the things I say to myself when I fall off track, a lot of people realize that they don't even use that vocabulary in their day-to-day life. That's not theirs. That makes it compelling to change it too.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. “Some people, yeah. Affirmations help, yeah, of course. I think with all this stuff, it's got to be a combination of things. have to be given the permission to not be judged. To strip this harmless stuff down, you know, and do it in a combination of ways that makes them feel good. You want to do a couple of affirmations for a while, fine. When you go off it and you want to do something else, whatever, fine. I just feel like we have to hold it lightly and stop calling it remedial. You're just checking in with yourself. But no, I think, listen, I was a pretty extreme case, and for me it was a case of saying, right, which.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. “two People's Need for Evidence Disprove it The stuff we tell ourselves a lot of the time it's not true or it hasn't been true for a long time. That's compelling.”

    2023-02-16 · The Diary of a CEO · Behaviour Change Scientist: How I Lost 120lbs With Kindness: Shahroo Izadi · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT