YouSaid · the spoken record

Susan Cain

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119
first
2022-06-28
most recent
2022-06-28
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1
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podcast

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  1. “And I absolutely loved it. Like, I loved it, the feeling of all that energy all around you, but you could be anonymous within it. To me, it was perfect.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  2. “Yeah. And then there's the big third space idea of the spaces where you're in a co-working space or a cafe or something like that. You've got other people around you. Not exactly interacting with him, but they're very much there. And that's huge too. I don't think we think about that enough.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  3. “Yeah, and I think that's part of what people are not going to want to go back to that we need to solve for to the extent that work becomes non-remote again. I think people have just realized how precious those aspects of their lives are. And for somebody who's in a conventional office job where you're going home and seeing your kids for an hour before bedtime, and that's your interaction with them, that's kind of a ridiculous way to set things up.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  4. “Don't want the kind of social life, let's say, where you have to be on and presenting and interacting with tons of people all the time, but you'd get really lonely if you were just by yourself. So what you want is to maybe be in the company of a couple people you know really well. Like for me, the pandemic was not actually that hard for me personally. I mean, I lost family, but I mean, from the point of view of what we're talking about, it wasn't that hard because I live with my husband and my kids. So I knew it was hard on the kids. I felt badly for them. But for me, I was like, you know what? I have a lot of social life right here in the house.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  5. “I think of it, yeah, more or less because I use the metaphor of a battery that gets recharged or not. It's basically the same thing. Different metaphor. But yeah, but just to add on that, that there is a layer of complexity to that because You could be somebody who”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  6. “You're op And the extent to which you would keep your door open, you know, was it wide open or was it half a jar or just a little bit? Those were all signals”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  7. “Yeah, I think people are figuring it out in a post-pandemic context. But I mean, I know what you mean. So before I became a writer, I was a corporate lawyer for like seven years. And literally the only thing I miss from those years is hanging out with people at the office. I don't know, just some of the funniest moments I've had in my life came from. At the office until midnight with the other people I was working with. So I know exactly what you're talking about. Though I will say the office is there at that firm and at most firms in those days, everybody had their own office. So it was like a dorm room, you know, where it was like a long hallway with everybody in their own little dorm room. So you had tons of privacy, but you would also come out and hang out with people. Yeah, yeah”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  8. “That is Yeah, you can't be in the moment as much. But I mean, for you, you make the decision to do all your podcast interviews in person, right? Yeah And so”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  9. “And like you might want to turn off the camera so you can't see yourself, but then you feel like, well, I have the ability to, so I probably should be doing it. And then that alone is a decision that you're making.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  10. “I think people are starting to realize, but I would say one reason that Zoom is so draining is because You can see your own self presentation the whole time if you choose to. And when you go into in person, you can't. So you're kind of freed of thinking about that.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  11. “And these letters meant so much to people they would like carry them around with them. And during his time, the 10 years there, he wrote thirty thousand of those letters. So, like, that was his way of doing it. That was his way of drawing on his own strength. And, you know, like he did that together with, of course, you sometimes have to go outside your comfort zone no matter who you are. So he was doing plenty of that too. Kind of combination”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  12. “Yeah, it's kind of like a mantra of figuring out what your own strengths are and how to draw on them. I think of a guy I know, Doug Conant, who had been the CEO of Campbell Soup for many years. He's very introverted. He's quite shy also by his own description. And he really cares about people. And so when he started... At Campbell, the employee engagement ratings of the company were all the way at the bottom of the Fortune 500. And by the time he stepped down, ten years later, they were all the way at the top. And It wasn't that he was going out there and smoosing people, but he really did care. So he would find out who were the people who had really been contributing and he would write to them personal letters of thanks.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  13. “But I mean, there are also a lot of introverts who figure out ways to draw on their own strengths, and they're incredibly connecting and successful and they're great leaders, and they're not actually faking it. They're more just figuring out ways to do it their own way. You see a lot of people like that.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  14. “Yeah, oh, there's a lot of people like that. And I know this because I think out of all the people on this planet, you could be talking to, I've heard from the most number of those people. They all come and tell me about their experience out in the world presenting a face that's different from what they feel.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  15. “It's a bunch of different things, you know. So, first of all, just to say a big caveat to all of this is humans are just amazingly complex. So you can't explain every individual human through these parameters, even though I think the parameters are really valuable. But that person at the party, it could be that they're more of an ambivert, so they kind of are more in the middle of the spectrum. It basically means someone who's not extremely introverted or extremely extroverted, they're kind of in the middle, so maybe at a party, their more extroverted side comes out. Or it could be an introvert who's gotten really good at the skills of acting more like a pseudo-extrovert, and they pull that up at the moments that they need it.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  16. “So I would start by just asking that question of what happens to you at around the two hour remark where you're having a good time. Where you're having a good time? Yeah, like, I mean, imagine But I also find, I'm curious if you have a different experience from this, but from all the years that I've been out there talking about this topic, I found that most people really seem to know once they're being honest with themselves. And maybe that's the question to ask, is like, if you imagine that you have a Saturday or a whole weekend where you can spend your time exactly the way you want to with no professional obligations and no social obligations, who would you spend it with? How many people? What would you be doing? And what is that picture that you're painting start to look like?”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  17. “What I'd really say is that, and this is neurobiological as well, is that it has to do with how your nervous system reacts to stimulation. So for an introvert, you're feeling in a great state of equilibrium when there are fewer inputs coming at you. So they could be social inputs, but that's why an introvert in general would rather hang out with one close friend at a time as opposed to big party full of strangers because that's too many inputs for the nervous system. And for an extrovert, the nervous system needs more stimulants. So if they're not getting enough, they get that listless and sluggish feeling.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  18. “Teleport home. Yeah. And then for extroverts, it's the opposite, right? Like they're going to feel, you know, maybe they're working on, I don't know, like focused on producing a memo that's really intensely interesting to them. But if they're in that state of like solitary, the solitary mode of really focusing, they might get stir crazy a lot faster than an introvert would. And so it doesn't have so much to do with what you're good at as how you get your energy.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  19. “It is a good start in terms of how introverts experience day to day life. I think a good definition is one that some of your listeners will have heard many times before, you know, the idea of where do you get your energy? And for some people, they get their energy more from quieter settings and for other people, they get it more from being out there. So a good rule of thumb is to imagine that you're at a party that you're really enjoying and you've been there for about two hours or so. And it's with people you really like and it's in your favorite place. So it's all good. An extrovert in a setting like that is going to feel charged up and they're going to be looking for the after party. And an introvert, no matter how good a time they're having and how socially skilled they are, there's this moment where you just like wish that you could teleport and be back at home.”

    2022-06-28 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #298 – Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts and Loneliness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source