YouSaid · the spoken record

Tayari Jones

lines on the record: 57
first: 2026-02-24
most recent: 2026-02-24
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“I feel like if I don't use it in the way it's meant to be used, that perhaps I will no longer be blessed with it. Like you have to be responsible with this gift you have.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think about train because it's not painful in that way. I think it's just almost like one of the things that I do to stay whole is that I do this writing. It does take discipline, yes, but it also when I don't do it, I can tell there's a difference in the way that I'm moving in the world. I'm less happy. I don't feel like I have purpose in the same way. And I wonder, like, what am I doing? But when I'm writing, I know what I'm doing and I know why I'm doing it. And I feel so fortunate that I figured out that I wanted to write when I was such a little child that I just feel blessed to have always known what my passion was. And I do feel that if I don't, almost like if I don't use it, Perhaps in the book with Isaiah and Sweet when he feels like my gift has been taken.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know if I see the world differently, but I think I do something different with what I do see. You know, I write in my journal every morning, no matter where I am, if I don't have it with me, I'm frustrated and sad and I might just jot down a little something on a notepad in the room. So for me, it's almost like if I don't write it, I haven't fully thought about it. So even when I wasn't writing the book in all that time, I was writing other stuff that didn't end up being in the book.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I can hear it in a different way. Like, it almost feels like there's an echo when the man said, this is a brothel. It's almost like I heard brothel, brothel. And I was ready to go. I didn't need to see anything else. I felt like you've seen a little bit of Pompeii, you've seen enough. I need to get home and work with my book.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, they did not want you spending too much time lingering. And I thought, that is so interesting. And the next thing I knew when I sat down to write, there it was.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, it's like a whole thing. Like how we have CVS. And the tour guy just offhandedly said that the place where the brotheling took place was uncomfortable on purpose so that the people would leave.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I love the cover. This was like the sixth cover they came up with. As a matter of fact, that is why I was in New York because I had expressed my concern about the earlier covers. And I came to New York because I wanted to show them that I was a sane person. That I was a sane and friendly person. And right before I got to the offices, they sent me this cover and I felt seen. I was like, yes, this is the story. This is the honeysuckle from their hometown. I love that the word kin is so big. I like the flowers. I like the softness, the softness of it because so often black women's lives are not associated with softness. And so I appreciate us owning those flowers. And that word kin. Did y'all find this book at least a little bit funny? I thought it was a little bit funny.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's how I feel. But I finished it on a plane, actually the very final paragraph or two was written on a plane. I was on my way back from London and I burst into tears. I just burst into tears. And the lady beside me, she burst into tears, but she was drinking. And the flight attendant said, You are both cut off, which I did not think was right, but it was fine. We were almost there”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was like, oh, that's ooh. Yeah, that's how that went down. But I feel that when I get to the end, I look back at it, I can find. Places, clues I had left myself that I didn't even see.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was like toward the very end, I was not sleeping. I had moved out of, I have this like this really cozy writing room with like a fluffy chair. It's so cute. But toward the end, I had to move out of the cute, cozy room and move downstairs to the basement to what I call the situation room. Because the story got deep. I had to get down there. This was not a fluffy sock moment.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But that's the thing. Like, any compromises to be in Nisi's wedding. And Nisi has a compromise to remain friends with Annie. Like they have to give. You have to give. But as long as you get, it's okay to give.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, you have to compromise. But everyone To be in a relationship is by its nature a compromise. The thing is that you have to be in a situation where everyone involved, everyone is compromising. The problem comes in when only one person is compromising. And perhaps that's when it becomes a sacrifice”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, I do think that sacrifice just sounds so like, I don't know, almost like, you know, like in those something someone's going to do at an altar, they're going to be like sacrifice. But I do think you have to compromise.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that's the important thing. I imagine that the characters are reading the book. People say to me, Who's your audience and the audience of the characters themselves? And I want each of them to feel like I did right by them.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, we did end up having compassion for her, but we still had baby doll pulling us our hymn saying, yeah, but don't forget what she does for a living. Yeah, yeah. But I was able to understand the way that she understood herself. I think that's the key.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I feel like every novel I've written has made me more understanding of other people because I have to walk in their shoes. I never write about any character that I dislike. It has to be something about them that I feel establishes their humanity and makes me understand that other person's point of view, even if I completely disagree with them. Like it was difficult for me, you know, to write from the point of view of a madam in a whorehouse. Like that was very difficult for me to write because”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes. And you can passion can develop. I think we think, oh, well, if you don't feel it that first day, it's never going to be there or it's not there. But I think that Nisi, with her experience of loss, she is open to different types of love. She even says, I think of another character of Joette that only, that's privileged that makes you think you can only be happy if things work out exactly the way you wanted them to. But there's a range of happiness. And if you can accept that there's a range. There's a way higher chance that you'll find it.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I do believe that. I think that real, again, this burning love that's like a star-hurled from the heavens, that's that imaginary person. That's that imaginary person, but real people can win you over in a lot of ways and can be so married to this other script.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think that is what's important to don't let an imaginary person dominate your life and keep you from having the satisfaction and completion that is available from real people, but real people have flaws.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so no real person can fill the gap of that imaginary person. That's one of the things I was working on in the book, how you're so smart. I do my best. Yeah. But, you know, I think about how that's why I have all so many people saying to Annie, listen, Annie, I have a mother and it's not what you think it is. Yes. That has, and she keep reminding me.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you. Thank you. Leslie and Dr. Kelly, thank you. Friend, since you were four. Let's hear from Golda. Golda, what do you want to say? Hi, I'm right here. Thank you so much, Oprah. Thank you, Tiari, for this book. I relate very, very closely to the characters in the book. My father was killed when I was a year old, and so I know that sense of longing that comes with losing a parent and wanting to know them, what they sounded like, what their laugh was like, how they walked. And so my question is about that. In the book, we see the characters being mothered by people who aren't their mothers. And in my life, I had father figures step in to fill the gap that my father left behind. But I've always wondered, was I fathered? Is it possible to be mothered by someone who isn't your mother? Or is it just a substitute and never really the real thing? You know, I think that no one can ever compare to the imaginary parent in your mind.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ah, well I this was just an amazing book for me. It took away, it made me call all my friends actually and say, you know what? I'm just calling you because I love you. You know, I'm just calling you because, you know, you were on my mind. And it just made me take away the value and it made me appreciate the value, like you said, of sisterhood and friendship. And really what that means throughout our lives. You know, we were different people when we were four and five years old. We were different people when we were teenagers. And we're different people now, but we still have the same friendship.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But this person who is seeing you grow and there is more of an expectation of acceptance among friends. Like your friend is not going to get mad at you because you look different as you get older. You know, like that's just not how friendships work. There is more of an expectation of an unconditional acceptance. And I think that's the thing, though, is to nurture your friendships and value your friends. So many people, you know people like this throw their friends away when other circumstances in their lives change. Can't do it. And that your friends are your greatest resource. I think that's what I would take away. Well, I was going to ask you, what did you take away? What did you take away?”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think the main thing is to honor your relationships, your friendships are as important as your romantic relationships, and they're as important as any other relationship in your life, and also may last longer because they can start when you're started early also. What you say, Gail.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ever since, and we've gone the last 25 years, we've gone through the ups and downs, a couple of marriages, a couple of divorces. And all the stuff in between. And one of the things that really resonated with me about Annie and Nisi's story is how childhood wounds can, you know, they can't help but to affect us in our lives. But sisterhood can really heal us if we let it, you know. So we collaborated on this question. And when you think about how women sustain friendships over decades, right, over time and distance and failures and successes and loves, et cetera, what would you like for readers to take away?”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your ambition, and you shouldn't have to, and you don't have to. You just have to be, I think you just have to be flexible and open. Well, Leslie and Dr. Kelly, thank you so much for that, for sharing that. Leslie and Dr. Kelly in our audience, they've been friends since they were four years old, did I hear? Friends since four years old. Tell us your story. Stand up, guys.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And Annie needed her help. And you have to help those who need your help if they're your friends, if you're close. And part of reaching across these differences in their lives are remembering what this friendship means. I don't think she should have had, I think her mother-in-law, who's saying, you know, you keep the people you used to know far away from you. And she tells her how she even pushed her sister away. I think that was a mistake. You know, if you have a good relationship with your sister, I don't want a life that tells me I can't love the people I love. And I think that is the generational progress that I think that Vernice will make and that Mrs. McKenry is saying, you have to cut off your past. And I think Vernice says or not, I'm not going to cut her off. I love her. And I think that's important that we have to figure out ways to integrate the people we love into the lives we want, or else you're choosing between who you love and”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Mrs. McHenry and her desire to break barriers and create a different life for herself and her children and her children's children. And in doing that, sometimes you feel like you need to separate yourself from certain people or certain environments so that you don't get pulled back into a place that you're trying so hard to escape from. My question to you is Could Bernice possibly have set better boundaries? Was she supposed to? Would that have saved her and Annie in the long run? I think My condolences to you and your mama. Thank you. I just felt it when you said that. I think that you have to set boundaries with people that are toxic. Annie is not toxic. She's poor. You can't cut people off for being poor. Because they don't have the opportunities that you have. Annie is a good friend to her.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, and even when they've done things that are shameful or embarrassing, I have to remember, and it also makes you humble in writing because you are not some perfect figure moving the people around, making them do what you think they should or punishing them for being naughty. You have to really think about the times when you were not in the right and how it felt to you and that you're still a good person They too can be good people. They don't have to do everything right to be worthy. Of story”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But we also have metaphors and symbols all over our lives. But when I'm in the zone, I hear things everywhere like I'll hear a song lyric and it'll remind me of something in the book. Or I also think of ways, how am I similar to my characters? I can never write about a character who has experienced any, the book is not autobiographical. None of my books are autobiographical, but I have experienced every emotion my characters have experienced. And I'm more aware of my emotions and how they feel and where they manifest in my body as I write.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some of them come to me right away, but other times once I'm in the zone, like when I'm in the zone of a book, if I touch something rough, I'll become more aware that I'm like, that's rough. I should use that somewhere. If I'm in the mode, I'm looking for metaphors. I'm looking for metaphors.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely, because I came to understand in writing about this previous generation just how their experiences were so different than our own. Like there's some things that, you know, I kind of blamed my mom for not understanding my life. And I realized now, how could she understand my life? She grew up in a different world. She was born in 1943. How is she meant, I mean, the nature of progress is such that we are each and modern lives living unprecedented lives. And you cannot expect other people to imagine the nuances of our unprecedented lives. And that's what I really came to see, that people do the best they can with the experiences that they have. And you have to give them some grace and credit for how hard they tried.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Question of biology is something that is decided for us before we're even born. Like, none of us chose our families. And we as adults, we as full human beings should have the right to create a family that works for us. I'm not saying that your chosen family has to replace your family family. You can have both, but not to feel like this accident of birth is the determining factor in your life that you can be loved by someone else. Even if it's not your biological mother, your biological father, someone else's love can be just as significant if you let it. Like Annie is so committed to the idea of blood that she cannot experience the other love that's around her. It was right there in front of her. It was right there, but her commitment to the, it's an idea. Like they say, you know, you can. And then...”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're afraid. And so that to me is what I the dignity is in the truth. And I think that that's the thing we have to think we can live without dignity. You know, we think I'll do this to survive. Dignity is a luxury, but dignity is not a luxury. And you only get it by being your authentic self. I think that's one of the takeaways. And the other takeaway is I really hope that we can stop being so tied to the question of biology.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you first of all for sharing your experience. I think that we believe that we have to sacrifice more than we actually have to sacrifice in order to fit in. You know, a lot of times I think that we capitulate in advance, like we anticipate that we will not be safe. Like I think that Nisi doesn't believe she'll be safe in telling her truth, but she does not know that. Like that is a risk I think everyone should take the risk of the truth because you may be accepted and you don't know it.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I was curious about growing up in the wake of the civil rights movement because my mother, when my mother was 15 years old, she participated in a sit-in movement in Oklahoma City for two years. My mother, her sister, and some other children that went to their school the whole summer, they sat in at a drug counter drugstore counter. And during the school year, they did it on the weekends. And it was just a part of the fabric of their lives. Part of what I did in this book was really to try to get to know my own mother better by thinking about the circumstances under which she came of age. It helped me understand the way our lives are the same and the ways that our lives are different.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Their lives unfold. They take different forks in a road. One is able to pursue education. The other is living in Memphis, working in a bar, you know, shacking up with a piano player. But their hearts are still connected. They are still dearest friends. And it's really, I think, about also maintaining your friendships despite the fact that your lives are different, different lives don't mean that you necessarily have different hearts. And you cannot mistake your life for your heart. Those are different things.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Their friends, since they were infants, because neither of them has a mother, although Nisi's mother is dead, Annie's mother has abandoned her. So Annie has hoped that one day she'll see her mother again. Nisi knows she'll never see her mother. So the question is really, is hope a double-edged sword? Because hope's twin is disappointment.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I always know, I generally know what the book is about, but I don't know what the people are going to do. But this is a story of a female friendship. And I do believe that as a woman writer at some point, female friendship, because it's such a part of the fabric of our lives, is a natural touch to everybody.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I read it and I thought about it, and I slept on it, and I prayed on it. And I knew the title was Ken. And so I saved the file as Ken and I was, I submitted this work with such uncertainty, but I just had to say this book came to me for a reason. This title came to me for a reason. And so I guess when I sent it in to my publisher, it came to them.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They had paid for. And I had to turn it in, and I could not turn the book in without a title. I felt like that was like, you know, just like going out the house without your hair done. You have to have a title on the book. You can't just say untitled.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I didn't come I came to the title once it was already, the book was completely finished. I was going to submit it. I was already anxious because as I mentioned, this was not the book.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think this could be the story and it is the first time a story ever came to me because I'm sure you talk to a lot of writers and they say, you know, oh, the story just, you know, this is what's sent to me. I always saw those people were being dramatic. But it happened to me like this is a story that wanted to be written. This is a story that I was called to write. I could disobey that at my own peril. I felt that if I didn't write this book, I wouldn't write any book because this is what I was meant to write. And it gave me a certain humility because it told me that I'm not doing this by myself. I am collaborating. When you do creativity, it's a collaboration with the creator. I love that. We all love that.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And as I just kept backstoring and kept growing and growing, and then it got to be about page 150, and it was still like, it wasn't even 1960. And I said, well, I can't carry these people all the way to the 2020s.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It wasn't the writing when I was trying to write the novel that I had been contracted for. And I said, well, let me just go back to basics to paper and pen, lined notebook paper, ballpoint pen, not even fountain pen, just a ballpoint pen. And I was just writing, just seeing who was out there. And I started writing about Annie and Nisi, and it was the 50s. And I said, well, maybe these are my parents. Maybe these are my characters' parents.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was writing because also I was like I was a couple years over my deadline and I had promised them a book about, I had thought I was going to write a novel about gentrification in modern Atlanta. It was going to be super contemporary. It was going to be based on my neighbors. I live in a wild neighborhood. But that is another story. But it was going to be based on that. But I was trying to write that, but it didn't. The magic, the sparkle that comes from creating.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A lot of it. Yes, with a patch over my eye. But I wanted to write the book because by then I had fallen in love with the characters and spending time with them was actually healing for me.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Justifying spending time in my imagination when people around me were hurting so much. And then I myself, I got sick. I was getting better. I was kind of writing. And all of a sudden, I had all these myriad symptoms I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, Graves disease. And like my hand was shaking, I couldn't write. It affected my vision. I used to eight years ago I didn't wear glasses. So I had to write this book with a patch over my eye because I was seeing double and I needed to see. You wrote this book.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Waiting, no, if I recall what happened me a break. I feel like in some ways it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. And that with an American marriage, I don't know if you know this, but it was an Oprah's Book Club selection. And that changed my life. It's like I went from being a writer to being an author. I was out promoting my book, talking about my book, doing all these things, and not having that quiet introspection. So that took some time away from writing the next book, but I don't regret it because also I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. You know, for the first time, I was being invited places. I was doing things, but so many other things happen. I had a terrible series of losses, deaths in my life. And that grieving took me away from the page. I had a hard time.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She knows that. She does know that story, and to honor her, I, along with one of my college roommates, we started a fund and we raised a scholarship in her name called Dream the Boldest Dreams.”
2026-02-24 · The Oprah Podcast · Tayari Jones: “Kin” | Oprah’s Book Club · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT