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Tsoknyi Rinpoche
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- 2022-12-11
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“Formative in my own life, and I hope it helps you too. I'm also a huge fan of Rinpoche's online meditation course, which is called Fully Being. I've included links to this and various other resources in the show notes for this episode. Rinpoche lives in Nepal, so it's a fantastic gift to be able to learn from him online. He's a really remarkable teacher, and I personally hope to study with him for many years or decades to come. I'll be back again very soon with some more great guests, including a terrific investor named John Spears, who spent almost half a century generating superb long-term returns at an iconic investment firm called Tweedy Brown. In the meantime, feel free to follow me on Twitter at William Green72, and please do let me know how you're liking the podcast. I'm always really glad to hear from you. Until next time, stay well, and in the spirit of today's episode, be happy.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you. Take care. Lovely to see you all. All right, folks, thanks so much for joining us for this conversation. As I'm sure you could tell this was just a total pleasure for me. I have tremendous admiration for Daniel Goldman, whom I regard as a friend and mentor, and Soaking Rinpoche is one of the greatest teachers I've ever encountered. So to have them together in one conversation was just really special. I hope you enjoyed it too, and that you'll benefit from the insights and practices they shared with us. If you'd like to learn more from them, I'd definitely encourage you to read their new book, which is titled Why We Meditate. I don't think the title really does full justice to the breadth and richness of the book, because it's actually about much more than meditation. For one thing, there's a terrific chapter entitled Beautiful Monsters, which is all about Rinpoche's approach of meeting our emotional challenges with kind awareness and applying his method of handshake practice. I've found this approach pretty transparent.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I like that. Thank you so much. Well, Rinpoche, thank you so much for joining us here. And as you can see, your teachings have helped me a great deal in my own life. I'm a work in progress. I'm not there yet, but I'm happy that we have the opportunity here to share them with a broader audience. And Daniel, thank you so much for joining us as well. You're the first repeat guest on the podcast. So thank you. And Adam, thank you so much for your help translating from Tibet. And it's a pretty awesome skill you've got. I'm full of admiration for it. Thank you all so much.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's hard because I think that brings up the fear for people like me that if we don't judge ourselves and beat ourselves up, maybe we'll be too lazy and we won't get anything done. You know, I'll be so busy being calm that I'll just sit there eating toast.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Without reason. That's good. I also love there's a beautiful line that I wrote down from our retreat Rinpoche about this idea of kindness, where you said, be kind to yourself, be kind to your beautiful monsters, be kind to your children, be kind to your parents, be kind to everyone. That seemed to me there's a sort of generosity of spirit, not only to other people, but to ourselves, which I think is very hard for us in the West.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And in practical terms so that we can give our listeners something to kind of tangible and pragmatic to guide them, they're going to use, hopefully, if they read your book, they can play with these techniques like handshake practice that we've discussed in detail. They can use dropping. They can use different types of breathing to calm them. In terms of the meditation, which seems very central, a lot of people, some of our listeners are already keen meditators. Some of them have dropped meditating. Some of them are a bit frightened of it. What's a practical, reasonable approach to meditation should they be thinking of 10 minutes a day, five minutes a day, what would you guide people to do who are thinking, yeah, I want to be calmer and less neurotic and happier and more focused?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So in a way, a lot of this is about becoming simpler so that we're being in the present moment rather than worrying so much.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So the relative world is kind of the practical world that we live in. And then there's this ultimate world that you live in. It's hard because it gets into esoteric Buddhist terminology, right?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You seem very free when I watched you in action over the last week in Garrison, New York on this retreat. You seem very joyful, very peaceful, very calm. You're helping a lot of people. But there's no atmosphere of you trying to impress people. It's like you seem very free and humorous. Do you feel like you've managed to free yourself after all these years?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So when you have that sense of internal freedom, you're a little bit more available to help and you're not beating yourself up so much. You're not suffering so much from guilt and shame.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“to try to fill the hollowness. And it sounds like what you're advocating in general is instead of tuning out, kind of tuning in and being aware of your emotions, being with your emotions, not hiding, but becoming more aware of what's going on and what you're feeling. Is that fair to say?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You use the phrase a minute ago, Daniel, when you talked about tuning in rather than tuning out. And I feel like with a lot of, there's a great line from the Wordsworth where he talks about the world is too much with us. And we're sort of overwhelmed the whole time. And I find myself sometimes in the evening just being like, God, let me just sit here and watch something dumb on Netflix or something. And it's tuning out. Likewise, when things are, you know, when you feel that sense of hollowness rinpochet that you talked about before, it's like, okay, let me just eat the 23rd piece of toast or whatever.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You also write about in your book Carefree Dignity, which I was rereading last night, you write about being with your father in the last few months of his life and how he behaved. And you said he always held others to be more important than himself, even when he could hardly take one step on his own. And there's a lovely description of how someone would come to visit him and he would get his helpers to sort of hold him up by the window so he could wave goodbye to people even when he could barely walk. So it seems like compassion is a very big part of this, that when we're not so frightened and so anxious, a lot of compassion comes out.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I just read it last night, so it's fresher to me than it is to you. It's a very nice view of human nature that underneath all of the nonsense and all of the worry, you know, you talk about dropping the backpack of neuroses. You know, like dropping a lot of this nonsense. And underneath, discovering actually for the most part, people are pretty good and pretty loving and pretty kind. And I find that myself that when I behave worse, it's usually because I'm stressed out. So when you think of your father, for example, You think of the Dalai Lama, or you think of your other great teachers? Is this what they're representing in a sense? This freedom where they've got rid of so much of this stuff that they're able to operate in a clear and simple way?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So Rinpoche, when I try to sum up a lot of your teachings and see the link between your teachings of handshake practice, dropping, trying to avoid reifying our own ego, our reified eye and making, you know, believing too much in who we are and how great we are or how solid we are or how permanent we are. A lot of your practices seem to be kind of a letting go and a lightning up and then saying If I drop all of these worries and all of these fears and all of these childhood patterns, then what's underneath it is actually a much simpler and kinder and less fearful and more loving person. Is that fair to say that that's what we're discovering?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, you were saying there was a study by Paul Eckman, I think, where he looked at the Dalai Lama's face. And he would mirror the expression of the other person in this amazing way. And then the other person would go and his face would go flat again. And then the next person would come and his face would mirror their face.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you mentioned something in the book Daniel. I think you write about the Talai Lama, who both of you are friends with. There's a beautifully example of someone who's brilliant at using his social eye. He operates brilliantly in public.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the mere eye is just this is such a complicated subject, I'm hesitant to go into it, but can you give us a sense of what you call them? What would you like to say about this, Daniel?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You had a very interesting answer to that lady who asked you the question on the retreat where you said to her something along the lines of you're externally successful, but I want you to be internally successful too. And I really did a double take when you said that because I feel like often that's where I'm failing, that it's like I can feel like, yeah, I'm externally successful, but I never actually can really relish it because I'm so busy beating myself up. And so how do you tap into that sense of what you call essence love, this like in practical terms, because it's a very vague idea, right? Essence love, which you define as this sort of sense of being just basic okayness for no reason. How do you, when you're dissatisfied with yourself and you're used to beating yourself up and thinking, wait, I'm falling behind. I should do more. How do you tap into that state of essence love, of basic okayness, independent of your?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Her is that we feel like we succeed because we're anxious, because we're pushing ourselves very hard. And there's a fear, I think, that if we let go and we don't beat ourselves up the whole time, then we're going to fail. And how do you think through this issue in a healthy way?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Rinpoche, one trait that I have that I know many people in the West share is this sense of it's related to that speediness and busyness, this sense of never being productive enough, never being good enough, never being satisfied, always feeling like we're failing. And I often feel like it's what drives me to be more successful and more productive than I would be otherwise. But it definitely doesn't make me happy. It makes me suffer from plenty of stress and anxiety, a lot of which is self-induced. And there was someone on your retreat who asked an extraordinary question where she said, look, I always feel like I'm failing and everyone else would say that I'm actually really successful, but I don't feel like it. And she said, I can't even really enjoy my marriage or my kids or anything because I always am beating myself up. And I wondered if you could talk a bit about this subject because I feel like part of what's happening for people like me or”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And Daniel, there are also tremendous benefits here, not only in terms of calmness and the like, right? But in terms of this kind of training of the mind, there's a lot of science showing the benefits for focus, right? That there is a great benefit in terms of productivity, presumably.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So you're not chasing after the thought if you're suddenly thinking, oh my God, I've got this deadline and I can't believe this guy gave me this unreasonable deadline. You're not chasing after it. You're just like, okay, yep. How do you relate to this stuff so that you're not going off into a death spiral?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So people are always complaining that their minds go crazy when they're meditating and too many thoughts come up. But it seems to me what you're saying is that this type of meditation, it's okay if thoughts come up. You just don't want to indulge them or chase after them. Is that fair to say you're just watching them?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's beautiful. You found your keep. Thank you. That's great. And then there's another technique Rinpoche, which is Shamata without an object, right? Where you're abiding but in a kind of open way without focusing on the breath, which sounds a bit like meditating without a safety net. How do we do that and why do we want to do that”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“With support, right? The support of your breath, something to focus on. Kinshamate is a term for resting or calm abiding. What does it mean? Adam, what's the meaning of Shamata?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Have to sit in my study reminding me of this Rinpoche. If you could dial in on FaceTime, that would be very helpful. So to go back to the next step then, so we've done the dropping. So we're dropping our hands onto our laps. We're relaxing. We're saying who cares, so what? Whatever happens happens, whatever doesn't happen doesn't happen. It's all fine. And then we want to start meditating for a few minutes just to focus a little on some object of support. Can you discuss this technique a little, which is a very fundamental technique that runs through all meditation traditions, I think.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm amazed at how much tension I feel in my forehead. I like look at it and I'm like, really? It's like I'm trying to crunch all of these problems by frowning enough. It's interesting when you see how you're dealing with this stuff in your body, when you become more aware of it. So I'm trying to stop fighting the whole time, fighting myself.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So just being with it gently and being like, oh, hi, okay, yeah, I see that old emotion coming up. Welcome to the party. So it's a little bit, so acknowledging the stuff that comes up that's just your familiar patterns.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So if you're dropping and you have a sense that you're still a little overwhelmed and anxious and you're like, I'm never going to be good enough, I can never handle all of this. You look at that and you handshake that.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Unclenching. I feel like I'm always clenching. You know, it's like I'm fighting the world and fighting my responsibilities. It's always like, you know, and so I think what I like about your approach, Rimpochet, is it gives me permission to be a little bit softer and more humorous about it.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think kind of like the handshake practice where there's a very gentle approach, when you do the dropping approach, which also is described very well in this book and in the fully being program online, as Dan was saying, there's this mantra. So what? Who cares? It's no big deal. And I feel like for someone like me who takes everything too seriously, including myself, and all my responsibilities, just trying to learn, which aren't really such major responsibilities anyway, but I act like the world is going to end if I don't do them.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You haven't looked inside my mind, obviously, Rinpoche. When I'm in this state, I mean, what do we do here when your mind is racing and you're like, okay, I want to relax? And so you say, I'm going to do this dropping. I'm going to start calming down. So you sit there on your cushion or on your floor or on your sofa or on your chair and you kind of drop your hands down to your lap and you exhale and you kind of let go and you try to feel your body. And then your mind starts racing and you start to say, but wait, I've got this deadline and I can't believe my wife just said this. Really she wants me to pick up the kid? Like what do you do then when your mind starts racing?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So for people who are listening to this rather than watching, it's essentially that you're kind of dropping your hands onto your lap and you're exhaling. So it's like, and so you're dropping the attitude in your mind. So you're bringing yourself more out of your thinking mind, Rinpoche, and more into your body. Is that what's happening?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So let's talk more specifically about meditation because obviously we've talked about a couple of the techniques that you describe in the book, this breathing technique and the handshake practice, but the book is called Why We Meditate and it's clearly a central part of what we're discussing here. There are a couple of different techniques that you discuss in the book for how to settle the mind and coolest down through meditation when we're feeling scattered and unfocused and confused. Can you rinchet give us some very simple instructions for how to settle the mind by meditating first on an object of support, whether it's the, I guess the most common one is the breath. Can you explain how we would do that?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In the scientific part of your new book, Dan explains that this has a whole array of positive benefits. I think one of them is that you're triggered less by troubling events, but one of them is that you recover better, I think, when you're in this kind of relaxed state that you're more resilient. Is that right, Dan?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, your belly is like a balloon, right? And it's expanding out as you breathe in. And then you hold the breath. For eight seconds, something like that.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So let's talk about how to do this in some detail Rinpoche, because the book offers some very specific ideas for how to bring down this energy when it's... One of them, though, there's a breath control method you talk about belly breathing. Can you just give a basic description of how you can use belly breathing where you, I guess you either lie on the floor or you sit on a chair? And what do you do? You're focused around your navel. How do you do this?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm going to try not to cry during our interview. I'm going to wait till afterwards. So Rimfish, I wanted to turn to another challenging subject that I know you've thought about a great deal, which is the whole issue of stress and what you call speediness. And obviously you've traveled around the world a great deal for more than 30 years now teaching in the US and the UK and Denmark and Taiwan and Hong Kong and many other places. And I'm wondering first what you've observed in countries like the US about this kind of this challenge of stress and busyness and what you call speediness. Can you talk about culturally what's going on here and also how it's manifesting in our bodies? And then we can talk a bit about what to do about it.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You said something striking to me during that retreat where you said, you know, your beautiful monsters can't hurt you now. You don't need to be afraid of them. And it was kind of reassuring to be like, okay, this stuff feels intense all these memories of childhood and youth. But yeah, I think so much of the time we build this very strong defense against anything that's painful. Maybe particularly for men, if you're like an ambitious man, you're like, I've got to be strong and tough and pretend that I'm not vulnerable. And so in a way it was a real relief to hear, well, actually, you can be a little gentler with it, a little more amused by it all. So thank you.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So people who are just listening, Rinpoche, is rubbing his arms gently with his hands. So he's kind of soothing himself, I would say.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it's like you're going back to the Bayes camp and then you go back to climb Mount Everest and deal with the difficult stuff.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Really traumatic. Can you talk a bit about this idea of what to do when the emotions that come up are too intense when you're doing handshake practice? How do you deal with it? Because obviously, you don't want to re-traumatize yourself if something really catastrophic has happened in your life. How do you deal with it if it's too intense?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You have a whole chapter on this subject of beautiful monsters in the book, which I really encourage people to read. And it describes the four steps for handshake practice, where you're meeting the beautiful monster, this upsetting emotion or pattern, and you're being with it, feeling it, listening to it, and waiting, staying with it, and then, I guess, communicating with it and using the mantra that Rinpoche said, which is it's real but not true. This feeling is real, the pain may be real, but the narrative's not true. So I really encourage people to look at this. It's very, very helpful. You do mention in the book that sometimes the emotions that we're sitting with are actually kind of too intense and we have to back off, particularly if it's something that's been traumatic.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So there's a sense that you're saying to the beautiful monster, you can stay here as long as you want. I don't need to get rid of my fear, my sense of inadequacy, my sadness, my jealousy, my anger. It's part of being human. I can see you there and I'm okay hanging out with you. Is that an okay summary of that attitude?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's an extraordinary line Rinpoche from your fully being course, which I've listened to over the last couple of years, and I'll include this in the show notes along with references to your books, links to your books. There's an extraordinary line where you say one day all of our beautiful monsters will trust us and be our friends. And you also say, rest in the kind home of non-judging. And I thought that was just really interesting, this idea of non-judging, not judging ourselves. Can you talk about that attitude of non-judgment, non-self-judgment?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's very profound to me because I think actually life-changing because we grew up in the West, we weren't really taught how to deal with our emotions, right? And when negative stuff came up, like if you felt inadequate or you felt embarrassed or ashamed or not good enough, you couldn't really deal with it. So you would deal with it maybe by judging somebody else or by hitting yourself or by working harder or by beating yourself up. And so there were all of these techniques that I think actually worked in my life. They made me more successful in many ways, but they don't make you happy. And so I feel like we weren't taught a good technology, if it makes sense.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Interesting, there's also a book that I separately started to read multiple times a couple of years ago by a former psychiatrist called David Hawkins, who I think became kind of an enlightened mystic. He passed away a few years ago. And he talked about a letting go technique that's very similar, a mechanism, where he said the thing that keeps the energy behind these emotions, these difficult thought patterns or emotions going, is actually the resistance to them. And so he said, when you stop resisting and you just let it be and you just abide with it, whether you're meditating or just in regular life, because everything is impermanent, as we know from Buddhist philosophy, things change and the intensity kind of dissipates. Does that resonate? Is that a fair description of what's going on?”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So Dan describes it in the book, I think, as radical non-resistance. So in a sense, Dan, can you talk about this? Because you also know a great deal about the science of this. I mean, you have a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and you're also married to someone who's an expert both in mindfulness and in a lot of these ideas of how to deal with patterns from our childhood. You add your own perspective on what's going on here by not suppressing this stuff when it comes up, but actually greeting it, welcoming it, handshaking it warmly, and not necessarily applying an antidote to it.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A lot of emotions came up from my teenage years where I felt like this sadness and a kind of, yeah, just like a sort of disappointment and a memory of that loneliness. And I asked you how to deal with it. And you said to me, well, you know, stay with it, be with it. Feel the emotions in your body without trying to judge them or change them, kind of resting with it. But you also said to me, smile at it. That was incredibly helpful to me because I feel like I take all of this stuff much too seriously. You seem more lighthearted and more accepting when these painful things come up. You're happy to sit with them in a gentler way.”
2022-12-11 · We Study Billionaires · RWH018: How to be Happy w/ Tsoknyi Rinpoche & Daniel Goleman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT