YouSaid · the spoken record

William Ury

lines on the record: 99
first: 2024-02-13
most recent: 2024-02-13
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Don't like to go there because they well, that's negative thinking. It's actually alternative positive thinking. It's like, what's your alternative? What's your batna? And if you do that, imagine go back to the job. Imagine, you know, next week you've got one job interview and it's the only one you got and you're going to be negotiating about your salary. Imagine how that negotiation is going to go if you have no other alternative. But imagine if you take the intervening time to research, what are you going to do if you don't get that job? Will you continue? In my experience, it makes it more likely that you can actually reach an agreement because it gives you that intangible confidence that makes all the difference.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Battena is an acronym that Roger Fisher and I coined back in getting to yes for your best alternative to a negotiated agreement. It's your best course of action. If you cannot reach agreement, it's your plan B. It's like you're negotiating a job interview if you can't get this job interview. You've got another job interview. If you can't sell to this one client, maybe you have another client. And it's your alternative. And it turns out to be extremely important in negotiation because in negotiation, we often make mistake of thinking, okay, I want this agreement. Our focus is on the agreement. But it turns out that paradoxically, one of the best ways to prepare for that negotiation is to think through ostensible failure. Ask yourself the question before you go into the negotiation, what am I going to do to satisfy my interests if I am not able to reach agreement with the other side? And sometimes...”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right. And, you know, what I realized in that moment is about respect is feeling that intense disrespect. And so that led to a whole process where we tried to negotiate a whole set of ways in which to try to de-escalate the crisis, what were signals of respect that the other sides could give each other that would change the atmosphere. And even just having a conversation about what the other side would see as respect and disrespect helped calm the situation down a little bit so we could move forward.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He goes a very long way. And, you know, I mean, just going back to Chavez for a moment, you know, the first time I met him, he asked me, what was my advice? I said, why don't you sit down and talk with the opposition? And he said, oh, they're traitors. They tried to mount a coup detas. You know, they tried to kill me, never talk to them. And so I said to him, I understand you don't trust them, right? He said, absolutely, I don't trust them. I said, let me ask you something. Is there anything that they could do tomorrow morning that would be a sign of respect, that would be a sign that maybe they'd change a little bit and maybe they were worth talking to? Anything that they could do? He said, yeah. He said they own the private TV stations. They could stop calling me a mono. On national television and the mono is”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, like you, you learn as you teach, you know, how to learn languages very quickly. Learning a little bit of their language formalities of their language, that's a sign of respect.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What is it that you really want here? You're showing interest in them. That is the basic level of respect. And in addition to that, it gives you a lot of information about what they want so that you can more effectively influence them to arrive at something that satisfies their needs and satisfies yours at the same time.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To see the human being that's there. And so even if you're dealing with a hostage taker, I don't care who it is, that's what police hostage negotiators do is they give the person some respect. That's the way you connect with human beings. That's the currency. That's the currency for actually making a connection. It costs you nothing and it means everything to them. That's why it's the cheapest concession you can make. And maybe behaviorally to go back to the first part of your question, the easiest way to give someone respect, the most basic way to give someone respect is to listen to them. You know, we think of negotiation as talking, but successful negotiation is far more about listening than it's about talking. Persuasive negotiator, someone who's a persuasive listener. Because when you listen to someone, you are seeing them. You are hearing them. You are tuning to them. You ask them questions.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The other side's dignity may not mean much to you, but it means everything to them, as you just mentioned in China, you know, or in East Asia where it might be their life. And so if you can give the other side simple, basic human respect, I'm not talking about a lot of people confuse respect. Oh, they've got to earn my respect. No, I'm talking about the respect that is everyone's birthright by virtue of being a human being. Respect actually, the word comes from the Latin respect to see again, you know, like spect isn't spectacles, rhy isn't again.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Defer to what seems to be a persuasive objective standard than it is to give in. No one wants to give in. No one wants to give in and people will fight not to give in. So preparing those objective criteria persuasive. And then, okay, let's take a look. There's this criteria and there's that criterion. And then suddenly you're in a collaborative exercise to figure out what's a fair resolution rather than in a contest of wills where one side's going to win, one side's going to lose, and the loser's going to make the winner pay for it.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the big things in negotiation is negotiation about a race, for example, is you want one thing, they want something else, it often becomes a contest of wills. You know, who's stronger? Who's going to hold out longer? Whatever. And if it's a contest of wills, oftentimes it gets emotional. It gets, I'm not going to give in my manhood is on the line or whatever it is. You get into this kind of contest of wills and it doesn't go anywhere and it's high stakes. And there's an alternative to that, which is not to make it a contest of will, but say, look, you think you should get paid this much. I think you should get paid that much. But let's look objectively at the market rate. What is the market for?”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“who's done studies of silence, just taking like negotiations, they record negotiations, and then they measure the amount of silence in the negotiation, the number of pauses. And interestingly enough, they found a correlation between the amount of silence and the outcomes that are mutually collaborative and cooperative. That actually silence actually helps you arrive at agreements that are good for both sides, just because it gives people a chance to pause. So silence, in the sense you were talking about, can give a chance for the other side to actually digest it. And maybe it strengthens the persuasiveness of your argument. So I absolutely agree. Silence is one of your very best tools in a negotiation. The art of pausing.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I'm a big believer in the power of silence, in our culture we tend to fill up space because we feel like if there's a moment of pause, I mean, in East Asia, as you know, silence is appreciated. And in an elevator, if everyone's quiet, everyone, you know, gets a little nervous. But in fact, if you can just relax into the silence and pause in negotiation, when you ask for something, it gives the other side a chance to think about it. And maybe if you say no, and you know, or whatever it is, you just weaken your no if you follow it up. Just let it hang in the air. Let them work through it because human minds take a little time to digest it and let the discomfort, if there's any, work in your favor. There's no reason why you have to say something. And the other thing is, you know, I have a colleague, Jared.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And at that moment I thought you know, Mr President, it's December last Christmas the festivities were cancelled Why not just take a break, give everyone a truce, you know, for three weeks let everyone enjoy the holidays with their families and come back in January maybe everybody will be in a better mood to listen He looked at me for a moment. He was kind of startled and then he clapped me on the back and he said that's a great idea. I'm going to announce that my next speech. His mood had completely shifted. And what I learned from that, Tim, was that maybe the greatest power you have in a negotiation.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right. So I bit my tongue and I proceeded to listen to him, like observe him, like, why is he doing this? He's trying to impress his cabin and so on. And, you know, when you don't react, there was no fuel for his anger. So after 15 minutes, 20 minutes, this guy could go on for seven hours. He was known for giving seven hour speeches. And around 30 minutes, I saw, I was watching his body language and I saw his shoulders sink. And he said to me in a weary tone of voice, he said So Yuri what should I do? Well, That my friends is the faint sound of a human mind opening.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Pinched the palm of my hand, and sure enough, then I was able to kind of like stop for a second and ask, I was just about to think about what I was going to say and reply to him. And I thought, what's my interest here? My interest is in calming the situation. Is it really going to help the situation if I get into an argument with the president of Venezuela? In front of it.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What I like to do is I learned this in a And I was like, oh, God, a year of work down the drain. I'm, you know, humiliated or embarrassed in front of his whole cabinet. You go through all these things. And then I remembered a simple technique, which a friend of mine had once told me, which is when you're in a tough situation, pinch the palm of your hand. And I said, Ednun, why would I pinch the palm of my hand? He said, because it will give you some momentary pain. It'll keep you alert. So whatever reason, I remembered at that moment.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The one you mentioned is a good one because it's kind of a joint rule, right? Another is just to take frequent breaks, just sometimes, you know, negotiations, I remember labor management negotiations, there was a, you know, they go on for hours and hours and hours and it was kind of almost like a, no one wanted to call break. It was almost like an exercise in bladder control or something. I find frequent breaks breaks are time to be on the balcony, that time for that in the corridor conversation that you can have with someone or with your own side. Frequent breaks. And that's just even when you're dealing online, just taking breaks. Really helpful. I like to go for walks, you know, before any difficult negotiation or the middle of it. Just go for a walk. Clear your head. Some people work out anything you can do to change your state so you can kind of bring your best to the negotiation rather than as often we bring our worst. You know, even a simple one.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of you goes, your mind goes to a mental and emotional balcony overlooking the stage where you can suddenly keep your eyes on the prize. What is most important to you? And then see the big picture. What can you do? What can you do see the larger picture? Where's the way through this labyrinth in front of you? That art of going to the balcony I've found is key. And I've learned it, had to learn it over and over. I fall off the balcony, you get back on the balcony.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's it. You said the best email you'll ever regret. Exactly. That's it. The best text, the best WhatsApp, whatever it is that you will ever regret. And we do that all the time. And we live in a very reactive age where you just instantly, you know, the temptation to just to hit the send button to just like, whoa, okay. No, there's a save as draft on email for a reason. That's the balcony button. And what's the alternative? I mean, it's very natural for us to react. You know, we act, especially in conflict, you know, where there's a lot of anger, there's fear, whatever it is, you're quick to react. But the ability to pause for a moment, that faint gap between the stimulus and the response, the ability to, I like to use the metaphor of imagining that you're negotiating, you know, the negotiations taking place on a play. All the characters are there.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“First of all, I think these are all innate human potentials. Don't have to read my book. You could read my book, but these are innate human potentials. It goes back, you know, this is our birthright. It's about self-mastery. It's the idea that negotiation, even though we think of it. Trying to get the other side to do what we want them to do, it starts with influencing ourselves. You can't possibly influence someone else unless you can influence yourself first. And human beings were reaction machines. You know, the saying goes, when angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Create a container within which even a seemingly impossible conflict could be transformed. So to me, it's a kind of the leaders and the community can work together. It struck me so much that Mandela, who once said, people say it's impossible until it's done. And I was in South Africa when he was in jail. People thought this was going to be 30 years, 40 years. I came back five years later. He was the president. It wasn't easy. There was a lot of political violence, but the conflict was transformed. If they could do it, then I believe it can be done in the Middle East. And it's not just a magical leader. It was the whole community engaging in a way that works. I've seen the same thing in Northern Ireland. I've seen the same thing in Columbia. It's our birthright, really. I believe we can all do this. It's hard work. There's no question, but it's possible.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He studied their history. He studied their traumas, the Boer War and how they'd suffered concentration. I mean, the whole thing. He got into their suffering. He also mobilized people. When he got out, he started meeting with the other side and building them what I call Golden Bridge, a way out. He was trying to help his political enemies find a way out of the situation. He helped write their victory speech, in other words. And he helped mobilize the community, which is what I call the third side. So he did these three things, which are go to the balcony, which is detach from the situation. Don't react. Help build the other side of Golden Bridge, make it easier for them to make the decisions you want them to make, and then mobilize this resource around of the community, which was the community in South Africa, blacks and whites and all others, and then the worldwide community to create.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, one is I'll give you just an example from South Africa, someone I admire who's a iconic possibilist, you know, Nelson Mandela, who was a kind of very reactive kind of guy, was a boxer, quick to take slights and so on. But when he went into prison, he was in prison for 27 years, he really focused on self-mastery. He learned to meditate. He learned to observe himself. He writes about it in his autobiography. He learned to control his natural reactivity. He learned what I call to go to the balcony, not to react, but to go to the balcony. And then he also studied the language of his enemies. I mean, that's the first thing he did in jail, was he studied Afrikans, the language of his enemies, because he thought languages...”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Whether it's in South Africa where blacks and whites, there was a race war, or Northern Ireland, you know, sectarian war between Catholics and Protestants or Columbia, guerrilla war, and other places too, where it seemed absolutely impossible. I've watched people do that. I've watched people, there was no solution, there's no ending of the conflict, but there's a transformation of the conflict. The conflict has transformed and remarkable results occur. And I think that that's still possible in the Middle East.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's no end to the conflict. There could be a beginning of a different way of living together. Because if you look behind the positions, the things that people fight about, the things that people say they want for what their deep underlying interests are, what are their deepest concerns, what are their deepest fears, what are their deepest aspirations. If you dive down the, like go down the iceberg to what's underneath the water, then I think the question then becomes reframed as How can the Israelis and Palestinians, two peoples, live together? How can they live together? It's the ancient Stoic question, right? How do we live together? How can they live together in dignity, security? How can they live alongside each other? And if that's the question, then you ask yourself, has that ever been done in the world before with other impossible conflicts? And I can say in the last 45 years.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There is no solution in the Middle East. Let's be realistic. There's no two-state solution. There's no solution because there's no end to it. But there might just be a beginning, a new beginning. I'm a possibleist. People ask me, you know, after all these years, are you an optimist? Are you a pessimist? And actually, even though I am an optimist of sorts, I'd like to say I'm a possibilist. I believe in possibility. And even when it comes to a situation seemingly as impossible, as heartbreaking, as heart rending as the Middle East is right now, I actually think that even in these times of extreme crisis you can see possibilities. If you can just stay still for a moment, if you can what I call go to the balcony, just kind of detach yourself a little bit, watch it as a play, see where the possibilities are. And even though there might not be a solution, there could be a process.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Was that even though they didn't reach an agreement, they changed the atmosphere through meeting and the perceived risk of nuclear war went down from maybe 50% to 1%. So it shows the power of the victory speech of each one being able to be a hero to the people that they care about.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is what you do in negotiation, you listen for those little nuggets that give you an insight into the dreams. You know, it's beyond the interest. It's deeper than the interest. The dreams and the fears, those two things are really big. The dreams of the other side. And I got a sense, okay, maybe there is something possible here. My colleagues and I then worked on it, but the world was shocked a year later when Don Hill Trump sat down with Kim Jong-un in Singapore and they actually got along with each other. But I wasn't shocked because I talked to Dennis Rodman. So Dennis Rodman helped me figure out what Kim Jong-un's victory speech was and what was interesting was after Singapore, those two guys didn't wait. Donald Trump tweeted, the American people are safe now, no worries. He tweeted his victory speech already, and Kim Jong-un also hailed this as a great victory for North Korea, just their meeting. And what was key.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're the only one who knows Kim Jong-un, and I'd really like to hear what you learned from him about what makes him tick. What are his interests? And he then proceeded to tell me the story of how he'd gotten to know him. He'd gone over for an exhibition basketball game one day and he was just watching the game and suddenly Kim Jong-un is sitting right next to him. And then Kim invites him out to go drinking and then he goes home and he holds Kim's baby and he told me a couple of things. He said, I actually believe that Kim doesn't want war. I know he's perceived in the West as kind of a madman and so on, but he doesn't want war. He actually wants to engage with the West. And as an example, he said, you know, one day I was talking to Kim and he told me what his dream was. I said, what was his dream? He said his dream, he told me, was one day to walk down Fifth Avenue with Dennis Rodman, go to Madison Square Garden, and watch the New York Knicks play the Chicago Bulls. Bingo, it was like, you know, I listened for those.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Did you get a hold of Dennis? Well, We did. It took a while. You tried the proverbial six degrees of separation. This person, that person, I know someone who knew the coach and the Lakers who'd been the coach, whatever. But that didn't work out. And then I tried a different way and I finally got hold of someone who was a friend of Dennis Rodman's. And I talked to him and explained, look, the world's in danger here. I need to talk to Dennis. He's the only one who seems to know Kim Jong-un. He is the only American. And he said, well, Dennis comes to visit me sometimes. I'll arrange for us to have pizza sometime. I'll let you know he's in LA. He come stay with me. So at the appointed moment, I flew out there for pizza. Dennis wasn't there. The guy said, oh, he goes out partying. Sometimes he forgets or whatever. He said, but you can spend the night. And so I canceled my plan, spent the night. Next morning, Dennis Rodman's there. And he says, what do you want? Bad day, man. Bad day. Why do you want to talk to me? And I said, well, because.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This was the best deal ever. Obama couldn't do this, Clinton couldn't do this, Bush couldn't do this, but I could do this. I made the biggest deal that really spared the world from nuclear war. It's the biggest deal ever. That was point number one. Point number two would be I kept America safe, and point number three is, and I didn't spend a penny. That was important for him. But Kim Jong-un was there was nothing known about him, a black book. It was like nothing really known about him. He was new and so on. And the only person I could find out who knew anything about Kim Jong-un went on the web was a retired American basketball player by the name of Dennis Robin. So in order to write Kim Jong-un's victory speech, you know, I tried to figure it out on the web, you know, what he would care about safety and respect and economics.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, one context in 2017, Donald Trump had become president, Kim Jong-un of North Korea was testing nuclear missiles, ballistic nuclear missiles, aimed at the United States, testing nuclear weapons. I mean, Obama had warned Trump that this was the most dangerous situation he was leaving on his watch. And Trump was saying this won't happen. And experts were worrying this could be a nuclear war, a nuclear crisis, you know, that some people were saying was a 50% odds of war. And so I sat down with my colleagues and I thought, okay, let's sit down. I don't know that much about North Korea a little bit, but let's see if we can write out Donald Trump's victory speech. And more importantly, Kim Jong-un's victory speech in which they decide not to go to war, but to actually meet instead and try and work out an agreement. For Trump, you know, he was more of an open book as you could, you know, knew a lot about him. You know, he would have to say, you know, like his three talking points might be.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Says yes to you. They accept what you want them to do. They say, yeah. Now imagine your boss then has to go and justify that to someone else whom he cares about. Maybe his board of directors, maybe his peers, or her peers. And write out the victories. We just write out maybe three talking points. Like, how could they present to the people that they care about why they said yes to your proposal? It's got to be a victory for them. It can be a victory for you, obviously, because they're doing what you want them to do. Think about it. and think about the hardest questions that they're going to get, the criticisms that they're going to receive. And then think about what are the best answers I can give. Go through that exercise and then see your job as a negotiator, as helping them deliver that victory speech. And I can tell you about how I used it, but that's the essence of it, is to work backwards, think about what victory would look like, and then work forwards.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The victory speech is one of my favorite exercises because you're looking at an impossible situation. It could be with your boss, could be with your roommate, or it could be an international conflict, but you're looking at something seemingly impossible. It's kind of like, you know, I like to climb mountains. You know, you're at the bottom of the mountain, you look at the top of the mountain, and it seems impossible to get there. You can't get from here to there in your mind, but you might be able, if you use your imagination, put yourself on top of the mountain, get from there to here, and then you can figure out your way back. In other words, you can work backwards. And that's what is behind the victory speech, which is when you're facing a difficult conflict, start by writing out the other side's victory speech. Imagine you're asking your boss for something. You know, it might be a situation. And you write out, what is it you imagine, just as a thought experiment, imagine your boss.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Our creativity not just to the hardware of software of computers, but to the way in which we negotiate, that there are better ways to negotiate, more effective. And that was a really just powerful example for me.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Only at the very end of that process did Carter go to Sadat and Began the two leaders and say This is the best we can do. We can't improve it anymore. We can't make it better for one without making it worse for the other. This is the best we can do. Do you want it or not? And then Sadat and Began were faced with a very different decision instead of having to make multiple painful concessions. They had to make only one decision and only at the end of the process when they could see exactly what they were going to get in return. And so Sadat could see who was going to get the entire Sinai back. Began could see he was going to get a non-precedented piece with Egypt. And they both said yes. And that's what led to the Camp David Peace Treaty to a treaty that has lasted 40 years, has lasted actually more than that at this point to 45 years to this point has lasted to this day, even in the midst of wars, assassination, coup d'etat. And it was the inventive idea of applying our”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, the idea is, I mean, the one text, the way it works is very simple. It's kind of like what in Silicon Valley called rapid prototyping nowadays, but essentially the Americans took the idea and they said, we're not asking to accept it. We don't want you to make any decisions. All we want you to do is criticize it. Well, no one likes to make a hard decision, but everybody loves to criticize. So the Egyptians criticized it. The Israelis criticized it. The Americans went back and redrafted the proposal to try to address the concerns. And then they brought it back and did it again. And again, more criticism. The Americans went through that process 23 times. There were 23 drafts over the course of 13 days, even less, because there was fewer days. And by the end of it,”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's it. Egyptian tanks can go nowhere. And basically Americans, the idea was to propose that the Americans would put technical means. You put a little multinational force in there. But you could tell if a goat crossed, but no armed forces there exactly.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“An Israeli security. And the Americans went back and drafted up what's called, we call it a one text, it's a non-paper paper. It's very low status. You've got coffee stains on it or whatever it is. But it was an idea to do both, to try and reconcile both interests, to meet the interests of both. And it was based on an idea, actually, the Egyptians had surfaced, which was a demilitarized Sinai, a Sinai where Egypt gets the entire Sinai back. The flag can fly everywhere, but it's demilitarized. So Israel gets security.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So the Americans said instead with a one text process, they said, don't make any concessions. We understand what your positions are. Just tell us what your interests are. And they said, what do you mean? Tell us what you really want. What are you really concerned about? I mean, you're trying to draw a line in the sand, but what's the underlying driver? What is it you're really afraid of? What are you concerned of? What do you really want? And the Egyptians talked about sovereignty. So that said, you know, this land has been ours since the time of the pharaohs, and we want it back. And the Israelis talked about security. They said Egyptians had attacked them four times in the previous 30 years, crossed the Sinai, and they didn't want that happening again. So then the question became, not where do we draw a line in the sand, but how do we get...”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Way it went was the Americans, instead of asking the Egyptians and the Israelis in the traditional way, you know, the mediator goes in and asks you to make a concession. No one wants to make a concession. No one wants to make the first concession because that'll signal weakness for sure. And, you know, beg it and Saddam said, well, I have to go back and consult. It wasn't going to go anywhere.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But there was an idea in it, which was a creative idea that came out of the law of the sea negotiations for a one-text process, and he suggested it to Vance. And Vance had asked him to write up a memo. And so we called a devising seminar. We got Louise So, and who'd worked on the Law of the Sea. We got all these professors. And then we wrote a memo and sent it to Sci Vance. And then Camp David happened. The Egyptians and Israelis arrived at Camp David for this retreat. And after three days, they were just going at it, hammer and tongs. They were just dug into their positions. Egypt demanded the entire Sinai back. Israel wanted to keep a third. Menachem Begin said, I'll pluck out my right eye and cut off my right hand rather than surrender a single settlement. They were just about to give up. And then Ty Vance remembered the memo in his briefcase. And he said to Carter, he said, well, why don't we try out this idea for a one-text process? And they tried it out.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There were several, but many. One was about a year into my work, less than a year probably. Yeah, actually about a year into my work. It was the end of August 1978. Roger called me into his office and said, guess what? I just came back from Martha's Vineyard and I happened to play a game of tennis with Cy Vance, who was the U.S. Secretary of State. And he told me about there's this peace summit planned in September where President Carter is bringing the leader of Egypt, Anwar Sadat, the president and the prime minister of Israel, Menachem Began, together for a peace summit. And he asked me if I had any ideas. And I brought him back to the cottage and I showed him this little booklet that Roger Fisher and I'd worked on hard, which was called International Mediators, a Working Guide, which we joked there was about maybe six in the world, so I had a very small audience.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He just graduated from Harvard. He'd gone into World War II and fought in the Pacific War. And when he came back, a lot of his friends were gone, didn't come back. And his father had been a lawyer. He went into international law. He went to work at Paris on the Marshall Plan. But his passion really was seeing if we could find a better way to deal with our differences than dropping bombs and destroying everything. And I had the same passion. Actually, I'd spent some time growing up in Europe in my childhood and I'd seen the ruins still in France and Germany and other places. And you saw all the graveyards of World War I, World War II. And then there was every expectation that there might be a World War III. There was a nuclear bomb shelter in the school. And it was like, we've got to have a more creative way. And that's, I think, what led to the devising seminar and to Roger's work. And that's how.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Bunch of faculty from different disciplines and visiting diplomats would be invited to what Roger called the Devising Center. Devise means to create, to be inventive, you know, to kind of craft something new. And he would pose a question that you would never ask in academia, which is, what can, I know the Secretary of State or what can this president do tomorrow morning? What can they operationally do tomorrow morning that could help take us forward on the Middle East or South Africa or the Cold War or Northern Ireland or whatever the issue was? And instead of just sitting back and predicting or analyzing this collective intelligence was being harnessed to try to focus in on what practical step could someone do tomorrow morning.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The devising seminar was a, it was just doing that, and that's what he asked me to work on to coordinate and facilitate this devising seminar, which was an amazing thing, which was every couple weeks at the Harvard Faculty Club over dinner”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was floored. I was just like speechless. I didn't know what to say. He said, and I'd like you to come work with me. And so that phone call, I can honestly say, changed my life. That generous phone call, that generous invitation from Roger to come work with him on international peace negotiations and other negotiations, never did you get a call from a professor, let alone on a weekend night. And never, in my wildest imagination, would I imagine that some idea that I'd cooked up in my little attic rental room on the third floor would be a possible use to a practitioner in the world's most complicated negotiations. So I got hooked and I've been on that journey ever since.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I had to write a research paper in anthropology about what I might do fieldwork on. And I thought, why don't I do field work on a peace negotiation? So I heard Roger Fisher was over the law school and he was working on peace negotiation. So I went in to see him and he was very generous for this time. And then he said, send me your paper. And I sent him the paper and I didn't think of it twice. And then January 1977, cold January night, I was on the third floor of my attic room, you know. grating my students exams and setting for my own exams. And the phone rings. And there's a voice that says, this is Professor Roger Fisher. I just read your paper about taking an anthropological view of the Middle East peace negotiations and I found it so interesting. I sent the central chart to the Assistant Secretary of State for the Middle East because he's working on these things. I thought he might find it interesting.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He connected at Harvard. I was 22. I was a new graduate student in social anthropology to study anthropology because I wanted to understand human beings. I was curious. It was a license to be curious and to travel, learn about other cultures, and figure out why we're so strange in some ways. But I wanted to apply anthropology.”
2024-02-13 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT