YouSaid · the spoken record

Bill Burr

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2017-09-18

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2017-09-18

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1. “Who you don't want to be is the people up in Bakersfield just outside of it, you still get the radiation with the boils and shit you're trying to, your teeth are falling out. Fuck Trying to figure out how to catch squirrels. I have no desire to do any of that. Ladies and gentlemen, Ober, thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks for having me on, man. Have a great time. Have a great time. Thank you.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

2. “JFK said it, the living will envy the dead. And it's true. I don't want to start over again. Some whole new society. I remember doing it. I used to bet on that. Somebody just picking up a rake like, these are the new rules. And you just saw gathering around with your burlap shirt with the string tied around it. I know. Like I remember when that fat dude who's running North Korea, right? The boss's son. He's trying way too hard to show that he's a badass was saying he had missiles aimed at LA and everyone was panicking. I was like, perfect, man. I hope it's right at my house. Right in my house. And I hope I'm watching the UFC or football Sunday just sitting there.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

3. “And I don't own a helicopter either. So it's pretty fucking useless. No, what it was, I went down that rabbit hole and you got to get gold coins and you got to get this powdered food and all that type of stuff. And then somewhere along the line, I was just like, do I really want to survive this? Do I really want to see what's next or do I want to be one of the people that dies? And I realized, no, I want to be one of the people that dies.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

4. “By the way, that does not work. If you ever see that in the movies where you just start the thing up and you fly out like that, I mean, you can do that, but you're going to fuck it up. Like, you got to let the band, they got like belts and stuff. You got to let those things stretch. You got to let the engine heat up and all that. So anytime you see Rambo and those guys just jumping in cold and stick on them. Like a Camaro and you just, I mean, if zombies were coming, I would definitely do that shit, but I'd be going, Please don't let the belt snap. Then he just nose it down into one of those fucks. Take one with you.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

5. “Helicopters, yes. You just run in the gamut of everything here. Helicopters, how do I get into that paranoia of living in California? Living in the LA basin, enough conspiracy theory about nothing being behind the dollar. robots coming and all that type of shit and this place became really claustrophobic where I was just like how the hell would I ever get out of here when this shit hits the fan You get out of here, like even when it's working well, it still takes three hours just to get out of here. Forget about some Armageddon shit. And I was just thought, you know, up and out. That's the way to go. Learn how to fly a helicopter. And when the zombies come, you just start it up and just fly out.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

6. “Right, and it was the most childish heckle I ever got. This is back when people didn't freak out about that word. You guys are like, oh my God, what does that say about gay people? This was when straight people used it. It just meant you were an asshole. And so he said that. I just remembered, I didn't know what to do. It was just like, it was so fucking childish. But I also knew he was going to beat the shit out of me. So I just went right back into my state, my act. That's almost like a Cooties joke, you know? This right here, the reaction to that is why you can never leave the comedy clubs, by the way. Because that used to be a funny story, but now because of that gay people said what that word makes us feel like. Now everybody, even if you say it and you say that somebody else said it to you, it becomes this weird thing of like, well, does he advocate what he said? It just becomes all of that and becomes like context and all of that shit.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

7. “So I was like, oh, and that guy walked past me, never even looked at me. He just, when he got off stage, he just had this flop sweat and just walked by me just going, wow, wow. And then I went on stage, immediately bombing, and there was this group of kids in the corner, these white dudes, and they were just like, just ready for a fight. They were just super fucking hard. That whole, my dad used to beat the shit out of me vibe. And everything I had learned up to that point was like, Bill, don't get into it with them. I heard him talking and I was just, don't say anything, don't say anything. And then finally, I just, this fucking thing when you're on stage as a comic, you think like this and this is like some sort of like a fucking gun and bullets, but it isn't. It's just plastic shit. And I just like, I finally said, I go, hey, you know what? What's going on over there? What are you guys talking about? Blah, blah, blah. I can't remember what it's saying. And this guy just finally was just yelled out, you know, I had the, he goes, he just yells out. He goes, anything red and on stage is a faggot.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

8. “And then I don't know. There's one, I'll tell you the weirdest one I got. I've told this one before. One of the weirdest ones I got, I was a dangerfields doing the midnight show, and it was just one of those nights everybody was bombing. The place was packed and nobody was laughing. I remember the guy in front of me like, he was just bombing so bad. And he was on some show where he played a bartender. And he had gotten beaten up. He was like, oh, did you guys see that movie? He was trying to get you guys see this movie, blah, blah, blah, blah. He goes, yeah, I played the bartender. The star of the movie beat the shit out of me. You guys see that? And then some kid in the back just goes, he should have killed you.”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

9. “When I was Black Room, best one I ever got, I was bombing at this place used to be called mixed nuts. It's now called the Comedy Union And I was up there and do, when I tell you five minutes of straight silence, dry mouth, nothing. And it was the summertime when sound carries, right? And I am just... Going and going, and it's nothing and nothing. And then just in the middle of one of my jokes, a meandering in this long setup for something else that's going to bomb this big black lady in the back just out loud to nobody just sort of look. And the whole place exploded laughing. And I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know I had to address it. I kept trying to do my material. And then they were just laughing at me trying to do my, it was fucking humiliating. Um...”

   2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

10. “Cigar smoking is a gentleman thing. It's an adult thing. And so it's just like, I want to be with people that I love telling stories, hanging out, and the right everything. And even if you're doing it by yourself, it's like you have to have, I'm never doing this like, well, can I smoke it before blah, blah, blah? It's like I would just want to have nothing and I just sit there and that great guy thing that my wife cannot understand is just being able to be a guy and just be not thinking about shit and just be sitting there and just enjoying yourself.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

11. “He has two humor doors. He's got the real shit, and then he's got his bullshit. So if somebody comes over and be like, so he just, yeah, you like cigars? Oh, yeah, what kind do you like? And if they're just saying bullshit, I got one for you. I got one I wanted a carnival. Here you go. They go, oh, this is great. This is delicious. But I really like smoking a cigar is a sacred thing to me. Like if I have a great cigar, like sometimes if there's no place to smoke, I will not smoke it. Like I'm not going to be this asshole. These fucking couple of my friends, they're animals. They'll stand next to a dumpster. Is she not a cigarette smokers are animals? They're like, they're on the shit, right? So they'll be in an alley. They don't care. Fucking rat running by. They're out there smoking. Catching pneumonia, they're animals.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

12. “I would still do stuff. Oh, they don't mess them up with global warming if he can still make a great one. It'd definitely be a Cuban. Probably a robusto, the Cahibas I like. I like the Partigus. I just smoked one recently. I don't even know the name of it. It was one of the sickest cigars I've ever smoked, but it was like a two-hour smoke. And I absolutely love cigars, but there is a thing amongst cigar smokers where if someone comes nosing around, you know, if you break up, if you bust out like a box of cigars at a party, all these fucking phonies will come up. Oh, yeah. And I go, you smoke cigars. Oh, yeah, I smoke cigars. And you'll learn this one time. You'll give out cigars to them. And then what kills you is you'll look over like a half hour later and the things like halfway smoked and they already ashed the thing out of this snubbed the thing out. And I learned that. So I got a Bobby Kelly. I shouldn't out him here. I shouldn't have said his name.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

13. “This business to make money outside of the business. Because eventually this business is done with you. It just is. And you have to really, you got to deal with that shit. So I would just love to be, to be honest with you, man, if I could just make in a decent amount of money off of shit like that. Yeah, just always picture myself just sitting on the back porch, you know, with a dog not giving a shit, smoking a cigar. Like that's how I want to.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

14. “Yes, because you're going to be, you know, I want to do stuff like that because when I'm 70, I want to leave if I want to. I probably won't because I love doing it so much, but I don't want to be that guy in that mustard-stained tuxedo suit just still, you know, as the numbers start going down the back nine. And I'm like, I have things to say, you know, just people going like, oh, I saw him in front of like three people. It was sad. It was a donut making sheet machine in the background. I go back to those gigs. So I would like to not go out and, you know, I'm doing real well. I'm making great money. I would like to not go out and buy a bunch of dumb shiny shit. I would like to buy shit like assets so I have money. So my next goal, the same way I did the thing where I never got sucked so far into this business where I had to apologize if I wasn't even if I wasn't sorry I now want to get the money that I'm making.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

15. “Next thing you know, your mom wants to fuck you, however that happens. Wasn't that one of the storylines? Feel good family movie. The mom wants to bang her son from the future. Oh, it was great for the kids. It was wonderful. Of the 80s. How old are you now? 48.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

16. “What did I dislike? No, I definitely felt like a freak back then. I definitely did not feel, I never felt like I fit in anywhere until I went into a comedy club and just seeing all the comics and I was just like, these people are the same kind of crazy that I am. You know what I mean? Like everybody's out of their mind, but there was a specific way that they were nuts that I just felt like I would just meet them. It's like I know this person, but I don't know them. It just felt like... In a weird way, like you were going home. It was crazy. But as far as what I would tell myself. I would be afraid to fuck it up because it ended up so well. You know, it's like that back to the school, but back to the future, whatever the hell it's called. I always mess up the name of movies. Back to the future, where you change one thing.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

17. “It was just like, why did I ever think I was funny? I should have opened a hardware store. Like you would just leave. Those are some rough nights, though. Going back to the... Technically, one bedroom that was really a studio and getting under the futon, just laying there. Yeah. A lot of grunt and groaning the next day in the shower. Like, oh God, I hate myself, you know.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

18. “Those were some of my favorite shows that I ever did. There was a legendary show. Comedy Club that sounded like a fucking wine bar, which just kills me because, I mean, it was just the rawest, sickest, like, in the village. It was right as Giuliani was taking over. So people were still selling drugs out in front of him. It was crazy. And I used to see like, you know, all these guys, like young Dave Chappelle, J. Moore, all these Red Johnny the Round guy, all these guys just, they just murdering in there. But Sunday night was the uptown show because they wouldn't say, you know, the black only show, I guess. So they would say the Uptown show. And this guy, Talent and Will Sylvince used to host that show. And for me, that was the show. Like to this day, like that was the most fun show I ever did was when you killed on that show, dude, it was like you walked out of that, why am I not famous yet? Like, that's how hard it was just everyone was on top of you. It was the greatest ever. But when you bombed...”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

19. “I had lawn seats. That's how famous this dude was. I was sitting on the grass watching a guy doing stand-up comedy. He had like the weather girls opened up for him and everything. And I remember that night looking around going, wait, this guy's making everybody laugh. This is the difference. So I remembered when getting into comedy that I didn't want to be that guy like being like a radio station. Like he makes white males 18 to 35, you know. I wanted to be like, no, this guy is funny. But the only way to do that was to do all of those different rooms. And it didn't always go well. Like black rooms are hilarious. What I learned about them is they're either having fun. They're either going to have fun with you or without you. But either way, they're going to have a good time. So that was definitely...”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

20. “But yeah, a lot of that came from all those crazy rooms I did. And I'm very proud that I did all those and I didn't sidestep any of those. Like I pretty much did all of them. I did the good rooms, the bad rooms, the white rooms, black rooms, gay clubs. I did everything because I really felt that I know why. I know why. Just remember this. When I was a kid, not a kid. I was like probably 18 years old. And it was a summer of 86 and Rodney Dangerfield, Lake Great Rodney Dangerfield was on, he was on tour and he came to this place, Great Woods. Now it's called the Tweeter Center. And I remember he came and he killed and he was hilarious and all that. And I saw these people there blah, blah, blah, blah. And I didn't notice that they were all white because I was white. So I was just like, oh, wow, we're all watching this guy, whatever. And then like a month later, I saw Eddie Murphy on the raw tour. He had the blue leather.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

21. “Once I had the room, then I could just do my show. And I think a little bit of that started to bleed into my style. I don't do that anymore on purpose. When I was coming up, I used to do that on purpose. There was all these techniques. You could also start talking quieter. People were talking louder. People used to say that. That never fucking worked for me. Just nobody heard me. I was just like, okay, nobody's heard.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

22. “What I used to do, that was from playing Hellroms, and no one would listen. What I would do is I would make a statement that would make people be like, dude, what the fuck? And thinking that I'm heading towards this thing, right? Like I would make a statement that would make anything, make you feel like I'm heading towards supporting the clan or beating women or anything like that. You just say that. And that gets everybody to drop their fork, to listen, to like, dude, what the fuck is this? And then you just wind them back to the point that you wanted to make anyways. And they're like, oh, all right, okay, that's kind of funny. You just keep doing that. And then eventually...”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

23. “If anybody in the left gets in, it's like, it's going to be socialism. This is going to be like communist Russia. And if anybody right gets in, it's like, this is like Germany in 1935 every fucking time. Just going like this. So I don't know. Like, I just try to just be like, all right, let's settle down. Everybody fucking relax. Get yourself a sandwich. Some of these things could be true. Some of them might not be true, but like getting into this, you're not going to be able to think clearly and be able to make the right move when you have to. I guess. So we'll see.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

24. “You're annoying. So, I mean, I think that explains a little bit of the Trump shit, like how that guy kind of came up with, it's like you guys were ramming this shit down. Like, this is so fucked up. If you just look at politics, like Obama was a response to eight years of the Bush people ramming it down your throat. And he was a response to eight years of Clinton people ramming it down their throats. And then 12 years before that, you had Reagan and Bush. Both sides just can't present their shit. They got to be like, fuck. You know, and all it does is it causes resentment. And if you look, the pendulum just keeps swinging further and further and people sound fucking right now. People sound crazy to me on either side that I can't watch it.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

25. “Both of them, like their heart is in the right place. They're not doing it, and they're doing it in this very Stalinesque kind of way of zero tolerance. And what's funny to me is the right always gets that. The left just cannot see when they're doing it. It's like you've become what the fuck you're fighting and you're annoying.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

26. “I alienated a lot of females. I do. I alienate issue people. I alienate politically correct people. They got that thing where this is the issue. You're only allowed to have this thought on this issue. I have zero sense of humor about this issue. These are all the proper words. These are all the, if you use these bad, if you use these words, you're this. If you use that, they're very like, it's hilarious because they're progressive left using the exact same Fox News extreme right. They're the exact same fucking lunatics. I hate progressive left people and I, generally speaking, and the Fox News to the right. They're taking our country. Those people, I can't even listen to them. They're idiots. Both of them, and they both have...”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

27. “So black and white made it seem inclusive, but we had to switch it to black or white. So it kind of became like this, make a decision, kind of vibe to it. But he let me, I got to play a lawyer in that and had all these great dramatic scenes and all that. So I kind of got a nice acting thing going on where I get to do some drama stuff. I get to do some comedy stuff. So it's been cool.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

28. “Guess I've been doing this shit for a long time. Forever, I wanted to play a guy like that. All right. But back when I had my hair and stuff, I looked like Ron Howard. So it was like I was always the friend. I was the nerd. I just wasn't going to be that guy. And I just always wanted to play a guy like Kubi. And they gave me a shot. And then through that, all of a sudden I got these other roles like once you get it on tape and they can see that you can do it. Then like, oh, he can do this. And then people will take a shot on you. So that was a huge thing. And I'd say Mike Binder with when I did black or white, which became black and white. Yeah, what was it? It was black and white was the original name of it, but somebody already owned the copyright of that and they wouldn't sell it. So then we had to switch it to black or white. And it was like this trial about who should have the rights to watch this kid that was raised.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

29. “But then it would just, you know, a lot of radio guys, Jim Norton, get me in with Opi and Anti was huge. Randy Bauman in Pittsburgh, because I would go to these markets and the guys that I really vibed with, like, they would give me the option to be like, hey, rather than flying in Thursday morning for your Thursday through Sunday, if you want to fly in Wednesday or Tuesday and just do radio the whole week, you know, I'll help you pack the place. And guys like Randy Bauman in Pittsburgh, and I would do that. I would just come in, have no shows Tuesday, Wednesday, and I would just do four hours of radio in the morning, do the whole morning show, and then do morning on Thursday and Friday, just killing as hard as I could to, you know, get it like half full. Maybe they don't have to pull the curtain. And it was just all those types of things.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

30. “Being a baby about it, right? Everything else is gravy for you as a white dude. So I just basically was like, I remember thinking, all right, this guy's, I'm gonna get in here. I don't know how, but I'm gonna get in here. And she saw me, and so she hooked me up with the showcase there. Somehow I did well, I got passed there, which led me to get into New York, and then through New York, just being there. I remember Dave Chappelle said some nice things to me one night saying that basically you're going to get there, but the road that you're going is going to take longer. But when you get there, you're going to have that staying thing. And I held on to that for years. And when I would be playing some shithole, I was just like, but Dave Chappelle said.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

31. “Influence my comedy or just got me to where I'm at? All right, well, getting me to where I'm at is like, you know, how long it took me to make it is like it's a bunch of people. It's comics that I saw when I was in Boston, people who gave me shots getting in at the comic strip was woman Amanda Schatz at MTV. She saw me in Boston and then she was like, I want you to see you in New York. And I couldn't get in at the comic strip. I remember Lucian going, I already have enough white guys. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I remember all these white guys used to get mad at me. They want to say all this type of shit. And it's just like, dude, you know what he's saying. We're not even a dime a dozen. We're a dime for 60 of us. And if you're going to be another asshole coming in here talking about.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

32. “Any other question? I just heard that person groaning out there like, ah, sorry, sorry. We're getting down to the end of it, right?”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

33. “No, I wanted to connect with fans. You know, it was a way to just another thing to do. But it was also, I enjoyed it. Because there's other ways to connect with fans that I don't enjoy. Like all those things you guys, when you upload your pictures, I don't like those because it says, can we have access to all your photos? And it's like, no, you're going to have access to this photo, you fucking weirdo. So I don't do it. So I just don't do any of those. But then there's other stuff that it's the same thing. It's like the mall thing again. Like, does this fit into the wheelhouse of what I feel like I want to do? And it was just something I like doing. So I just started doing it.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

34. “And singing songs, and at first I just did it for like seven minutes, and it was ten minutes. Then it became 20, then a half hour. And then I started going like, well, yeah, you know, ask me some questions or I had this thing underrated, overrated for a while, and YouTube video of the week. And I just sort of built like a show around it. And it just kind of became what it became.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

35. “I guess Bobby Kelly, once again, I was hanging at his apartment when we used to live near each other in New York. And he was just like, dude, you got to do this. It's called a podcast. I had no idea what it was. It's another way to connect with your fans. And both me and him and all of my friends, we weren't the guys they were picking. We just weren't the guys. Whatever they were going for, we just never were the guys. And yet on every showcase, they'd always put us on last because we would, you know, we were really good at what we did, but there was always like the, you know, whatever the hell it was they were looking for, we were the outcasts. So any way to connect with your fans, we had to do it. And that was this new thing. And I just like doing it. First, I just, I used to call in before I had like the mixer and all that, used to call in this service. So I would just call up this phone number on my flip phone. And I would just, I mean, be in airports and I would just be trashing people.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

36. “Anyways, who do we got next? Matthew McConney. All right, all right, what's going on, you know? He's just doing that. For all you know, that's all he was doing. And it was literally like, that's what I hate about this shit. It's like you literally take two seconds in somebody's fucking life, and you're like, that's who you are. That tweet is who you are. That's what's in your heart and all of this shit. I've got friends of mine that have gotten like big shows, S&L and stuff like that. One person, they go back to 2010. They went through six years of tweets to try and what was about this one? Yeah, it's like, get the fuck out of here, right?”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

37. “All of this stuff. Look at Billy Bush. Billy Bush got fired for some shit that happened in 2005. It's fucking unbelievable. And all he was doing is what an interviewer does. He was keeping the interviewee happy. Right? They go, I just grabbed the pussy. He's like, hey, grab some pussy. Whatever. We doing this? For all you know at the end of the interview, when Trump left, he could have been like, what was that? How was that guy like? I think I was out of his mind. He was talking about grabbing pussies. He's fucking crazy.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

38. “I hate this. I can't stand them. They don't make my life easier. They're a nightmare. They're intrusive. You know? I can't stand him. So I flip out about him in like. I saw a thing recently this politically active comedian was sitting there talking, was trying to get people to vote in this oddly bullying way going like, you know, there's going to be an app out there that's going to say, you know, whether you voted or not. And they're not going to know whether you voted and who you voted for, but they're going to know that you voted. So you can't basically bullshit people anymore. I just was watching it the whole time going, and like, that's a good thing, that that level of private information because of this fucking app, I didn't say that you could say whether I voted or not. That's what I hate about all of this shit. Like, I have a theory somewhere around 94, 95, we should have stopped making new shit. All right, they could, they cured enough diseases. Cars were fast enough. Planes aren't any really faster than they were back then. It was good. But all of this shit now that like, you know.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

39. “You know, like, yeah, I talk to myself a lot about going, you know, like getting into it with people and screaming and yelling, and then I'll drive away and be like, all right, Bill, how did that go? You know, and then try to see how, you know, if I was wrong in it, like they were right, you know, that somebody's mom, you just yelled at her. Like, what's wrong with you? I really had really a hair trigger kind of thing. So it's something that, you know, working on my temper, I really try to, I've really been, like, especially lately because, you know, I was making my wife on pins and needles because it wasn't like I was flipping out over anything. Like, I fucking hate these things. Whatever this, the second I came out, I saw whatever this is, this pad.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

40. “So you start picking up on that. I remember one time this comic did some passive aggressive shit to him. I called him out on and he immediately went with the two hands to the chest. I'm like, that's the kind of guy that went back over 11 people and drive away. So I wouldn't have noticed that if I didn't go to therapy. And I've also noticed.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

41. “And then I remember she drove away, and then she went to her house. When she got to her house, like the cop showed up, and the lawyer met them in the driveway and was like, yeah, she'll come down tomorrow and blah, blah, blah, blah. And they left. And I remember thinking like, you can fucking do that? I didn't know you could do that. So she was, of course, vilified. And then the next day in the paper, they had this picture of her. And she was like talking to the media. She's like, she had a hand like that. It's like, you fucking backed over 11 people. I'll go with you that that can happen, that you can't see there, but you left. You fucking left. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. So I've noticed that. And I remember...”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

42. “I thought that was true enough. It's not true. What it does is it gives you an insight into you as a human and then you start, you see people differently and it actually allowed me to write or think about characters and just notice shit with people that I never did before. I got a thing with somebody. Anybody who does this when they're talking like I wasn't blah blah blah. They're full of shit. Not only are they full of shit, they have a complete inability to accept responsibility for anything they've ever done. I just recently told this to Jim Norton. It was that publicist who backed over like those 12 people in Long Island.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

43. “I did it for a few years, and then one day it just dawned on me that I just kind of am just talking in circles in here, and it's just like bad shit's going to always happen to me. And what am I just going to keep coming in here and I'm moaning about it? What point am I going to grow up and kind of not need this? And I'm not trying to say that you're weak if you go there, but I just hit this point where I was like, all right, you know, all of that shit happened, you know. It happened, right? And it definitely affected who I am. But now I'm not going to be like lashing out at people. And I'll be like, oh, I do this because of that, a little bit of that. But what I did, you know, at some point, it'd be like if somebody's teaching you how to fix a car. At some point, you got to try to fix it yourself. You know what I mean? Can't keep going the night turn right here. How do I do this, right? So it just became like that. So now I kind of, you know, my kind of self-therapy myself.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

44. “Performance or driven people can have this sickness of like it's just you know it's just like you can't even enjoy it it's like what's the next thing I mean I know guys that like they have like they they accomplish something and as they're right as they're getting right to the peak this depression hits them because they're like then what and then what am I gonna do and then this is over and then then I got nothing and blah blah blah it's like hey can you just fucking have a beer up here we did this you know can we enjoy this for a second”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

45. “No, I felt that somewhere in like 2009, 2010. By then I'd done a couple of hours. I'd done my second hour for Netflix, which became the new HBO as far as just totally uncensored. I think I bought a house at that point. I bought a house, right? And still, you know, people didn't really, I had a niche following in that. And I said to my wife, I was just like, I know you're not supposed to say this, but I made it because there's a sickness in this business of like, no, man, if you think you made it, then you're going to relax. And it's all going to go away. So like, oh, so I'm never going to be happy. It's like, I tell dick jokes and I just bought a house. I made it. Yeah, so... I didn't want to... I didn't want to be that guy that is doing well and was like, oh, but what about the next thing, like that sickness?”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

46. “Until then, it was people who come into the club because that's what they did, they had nothing else to do. Like, let's go down to the comedy club and you had to prove to them that you were funny. And I used to remember thinking, like, imagine they came to see me how much easier this would be. I didn't realize the other pressure was like, no, we saw that, so we're expecting at least that, if not better. And then it's like, oh man, so that took me like a good three months. That there was a new kind of nervousness experience to get over of people expecting like, yeah, we're here to see you. We like what you do. Don't ruin this.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

47. “40. So then you had this guy. What's the least you can do? And at least you amount of time you can do is like 25 or 26. And I did exactly that. So the worst you could do is butcher four of it out, but the rest of it was going to look good. So I was happy with it. And, you know, I was just kind of doing stuff like that. But it still wasn't what I wanted because it wasn't me, that half hour that I did. That was me just kind of doing an extended letterman spot where I was working totally clean. But it wasn't until HBO came back and did the half hours and I did those that I actually got to do. It was the first time people got to see me not in a club. They were at home and they got to see that this is what I do. And that was the same time I got on the opium Anthony show and they all kind of came out at the same time. It was the first time I went to a club and it was sold out and people were there to see me, which was a whole other level of pressure. It used to be, yes.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

48. “So that's when I kind of felt rudderless because when HBO stopped doing their specials, I didn't know what to do. And then what Comedy Central started doing the half hours, you were the fact that they had commercials. They basically, I think it's eight minutes each hour. So they were automatically going to take 16 minutes out or eight minutes out of a half hour. And then they also beep out the curses with like the worst, most archaic beep, beep. So it really, they wouldn't just fade it down and come back up. So I remember watching specials and just thinking that was really distracting. So once again, I worked clean. So if you watch my first half hour on Comedy Central, I worked totally clean. And I gave them the least amount of material that I could because I just looked at it because those guys doing like, all right, here's a half, you know, it's a half hour. They're only going to use 22 minutes. They would do is they do.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

49. “For me, coming up, it was all about having an HBO special because HBO specials, those were the best comics. That's all the great guys that I saw coming up. You got on HBOs, totally uncensored, and they were the home for that. And unfortunately, when I got into it, you know, right in the early 90s, by the mid-90s, they just stopped doing it for like 10 years.”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

50. “He's got this video like the sickest scrambled egg you're ever gonna make in your life. It's insane and I just remember watching it and I was just like I'm gonna fucking make that thing and because I have the free time like as a comedian like I can do it I went out I bought all the ingredients and all that type of stuff and that's that's what I do and I'll learn something you know But I do have my hobbies like cooking and playing drums and a few other things that I do and it's just like I try to have like that moment in the day like learn something or go somewhere but working out is a big thing that's a big thing”

    2017-09-18 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #265: Bill Burr — The Comedian's Comedian · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT