YouSaid · the spoken record

Cole Sprouse

lines on the record: 101
first: 2023-03-13
most recent: 2023-03-13
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“So, I don't really mind when people do it. It just means that person's not going to be a cool connection to me, personally. Like, I'm not going to remember that connection in my life when I'm telling stories and things. Whereas, you know, I did a movie called Five Feet Apart, which dealt a lot. People who live with cystic fibrosis come up to me and talk to me about cystic fibrosis and talk to me about that film. And those are connections in my opinion that have lasted with me. I remember almost every single conversation I've had with something like that because it's not a, yo, let's take a pic. It is, hey man, I want to let you know that I go through this, something that you were trying to portray in this and it affected me like this. And it's a discussion that enriches both people.”
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“But I think people want to show what they're up to right now. And that's totally fine and natural. Well, I don't know if it's natural, but we're conditioned to do that. But I think, you know. Whether it's, you know, you're doing it ironically or authentically or you're truly excited or you admire someone or you want to just prove to other people. I think most people have to understand that there is probably a greater connection to be made that exists. There's a choice that you make when you're asking for a very surface level shallow interaction with someone and that the alternative did exist where you could probably deepen your relationship to an individual that you've wanted to talk to.”
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“Yeah, yeah. Well, I think, look, man, we're always searching for. A much deeper emotional connection to another human being. I would much rather have someone be like this podcast is a great example. Tell me about what it was like growing up in your position. And if anyone ever asked me that, I would be in open book. You truly could come up to me and ask me any question on the street and I would probably hold a tet a tet with you. But people want to show other people but don't.”
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“I don't mind it because all of us kind of just do it. We're taught to do that sort of thing. But I don't know if I'd necessarily make those people my friends.”
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“That it encourages people because all it's done is just further reinforce why I've done it. Which is like, hey, people are not going to care about anything other than bragging about a place they've been or a person they've seen. You know,”
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“Because when I was young, you know, acting was like the grilled chicken of the dish. It was like, it was the biggest part of the course and the side salad was like the red carpet stuff and whatever the fuck it is. And now social media has made it so that the whole thing's just a grilled chicken salad now. I mean, like the salad is almost a bigger part of your success than the act of performance. And I think in very many ways, you know, your celebrity profile has been become far too intermingled into your work as a professional. And all of us within the industry are recoiling and trying to figure out a way to figure out how to deal with that.”
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“I came back to it Yeah, I was at Real Fork in the Road and I made a promise to someone that I would return to acting, but I never anticipated I would. And I was reminded that I love performance, which is, I love to perform in front of people. And I love the presentedness of a performance. Like when you wake up at the end of the take and you go, man, I barely remember what I was even doing right there. I just felt that. I love that. I love performing for the crew. I love... I loved being on stage. I didn't like the shit that came with it.”
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“To the project as the writing is good or bad, and the directors are changing week to week. So it's a difficult relationship to expression and self-identity. And I think at the time I was really looking for a way to tell people, hey, this is what I can do if I'm given creative freedom. I think I've achieved that.”
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“And you put a lot of my emotional state into just shooting hobbyism, which is a real wonderful thing to do when you are feeling sad, is pick up a hobby, dive into a hobbyism. And so I pushed myself into a lot of that. And in very many ways, it allowed time to pass more quickly and for me to heal more effectively. But I also did it because I wanted to express my vision in very many ways. When you're an actor, you are the byproduct of the riding the direction and the editing. And a lot of people assume you have much more creative agency over a project than you do, but I don't find that to be the case when you're a commercial employee actor. When you are working on commercial projects, in very many ways they're controlling the image of you that people are seeing and they control the takes and you're as bound.”
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“Yeah, I think a lot of people, um, Sort of Discussed that one quote. I think I was certainly... I had gone through a huge breakup after college right at the end of college and picked my camera up again.”
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“I did around 18. I actually went to London. And the first time I went to London, I said, I should give myself a camera and document my brother and I's little journey through London.”
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“Yes, would be the Sweet Life on Deck, the spinoff. And when we got to high school age, all of my friends would tell me these stories from high school, American public high school that was just like, goddamn, you lived through that shit. I don't want to be part of that at all. This sounds horrible. And so then I was quite thankful to not be doing that. And then I went to college.”
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“Not really, because now it had become a thing that was taking me away from playing in the cul-de-sac with the friends. You know what I mean? So, I loved school. Like, I loved going to school. I loved playing with my friends and all that sort of thing. So at the time, I couldn't see it as anything other than that. But that's, you know, that's what a child does. And then we did the sweet life. And then I actually really did not mind not going to school. So we were homeschooled from the sweet life onwards. And then every conversation, because I kept a lot of my super close friends.”
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“It was super present. Which is good, which is what I think we're all trying to get back to is this sort of lantern consciousness of youth in terms of acting, the state of play. Because no one should go into acting and be like, I'm going to act. I don't think that's right. But I was still very present at the time. And then Big Daddy came out and alongside it came this whirlwind of opinion and conversation and fame and all this sort of stuff. Which would then polarizing, but would lead me into, I worked on a couple other directed DVD movies at the time for some cash money. And then did friends. I was a recurring role on friends. Dylan and I would end up booking The Sweet Life on Disney, which of course was another huge lifesaver.”
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“Yes, Big Daddy. So got Big Daddy at six. Adam was just incredible. We shot that movie for far longer than it needed to be shot in New York City. It's my first time going to New York. And then that was a whirlwind”
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“You got to sell drinkable yogurt for a little bit in order to go to college. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is the balance between art and commerce that a lot of people don't understand. In almost every other art, at least in photography, this is a great example. No one looks at Someone doing a commercial gig and then going back to the editorial world and going, why would they do that commercial gig? But in acting, they do. There's a huge division between.”
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“This is a particular approach that has to come from a certain socioeconomic background. If you are this Nepo baby conversation has been huge out here in LA, I don't know how big it's been out in the UK. But if you come from a financially stable background and you can see it with any actor that has a really stellar resume where you're like, God, you've picked great movie after great movie after great movie. You've been a part of all these really cool projects. Well, they probably had a lot of financial stability because those projects pay you fucking nothing. So if you have the sort of patron that is allowing your freedom of expression to take these artistic projects and reinvigorate this passion for you, even in the face of commodification of an expression, then you can have a really stellar career. But if you also have to make money alongside it, you're probably not going to take the super cool.”
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“Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course. It was great. Work the system, baby. But the problem is when you start. At least from that philosophy and you go into an art, you know, we've commodified almost all of the arts that exist. But when you enter into a form of expression in a professionalized or work dynamic, it's hard to see that as a pursuit of passion. So my journey through acting over time has been One of trying to balance art and commerce in a way, one for the money, two for the show sort of thing where I need to be reminded consistently to myself that I love this thing. Do you know what I'm saying? Making my money becoming financially stable, getting financially stable, taking jobs that are that aren't paying as much but doing cool projects and making yourself feel more in love with the discipline. And I think, you know.”
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“Children can only work a certain amount of hours, which is a very strange thing to say out loud. In the button factory, in the coal mines, we can only work for two hours a day. No, but we can only work for a certain amount of hours. And so if you have two twins that look identical to each other that people can't perceive as anything other than the same character, you double the amount of hours you can work, which is an incredible economic loophole for a lot of young actors”
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“Diaper commercials, things like that did commercials, worked on a sitcom for a bit, still wasn't really fully conscious. We were still doing the baby acting thing. I did a sitcom called Grace Under Fire, a couple other little TV spots here and there, identical twins switching places, blah, blah, blah. Then we booked Big Daddy with Adam Sandler when we were around six. And that was like the big thing at the time.”
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“Yeah, nuance and context. It gives you the whole context right there, which is something that a lot of people, you know, in interview settings or otherwise. Gorgeous And I think it also creates a really beautiful way to discover the honest humanity and opinion of people. Because entertainment media, it's sensational. We're only going to sell the worst person in the world and the best person in the world. We're not going to sell the humans in between. And most of us fit as soon as a kind of gray morality that doesn't really, you know, we're not, not all of us are these fucking outliers that are like these really firm, radical fucking people that are saying these radicalized things in order to preach to the sensationalism of the internet. Most of us have these kind of moderate places that we sit. So I think the podcast space is fucking awesome for that, man. You really get to sit and connect to people and have a conversation. And for people that are interested, they fucking listen. It's great.”
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“Because it's not cool, but it's not cool. To Angelinos because someone that is cool hasn't said it like that before. Do you know what I'm saying? It's a lot of imposter syndrome in Los Angeles. And so authenticity and vulnerability are not really encouraged traits.”
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“Man, maybe I should just run away and not do this and get some chickens and raise, you know, get some eggs and live off the grid and whatever it is. It also manifests the inability to sort of say your desires out loud for fear of looking like a fool. I think LA does that too because I think vulnerability is just something that we don't really encourage here in Los Angeles.”
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“The workaholism has definitely stuck with me. I need validation a lot. I think that's a pretty common thing for most artists just to have. But I am. The byproduct of Moments of incredible narcissism and moments of severe self-loathing and right in the middle is when I do my best work. But a lot of that operation and the fluctuation between those two things is determined by people going, goddamn, you're good”
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“No. There's no therapy Yeah, yeah, of course. And unfortunately, I'm speaking for myself here. I don't know about you, but I'm a dumbass that needs to learn by his own mistakes. I mean, I can watch my father go, hey, man, you need to drink water at this watering hole, but you can't drag me there and make me drink. I have to make mistakes in order to learn from my mistakes. And a lot of my friends are very similar. But... I don't think those lessons should ever go away.”
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“That to me is the most beautiful way that I think media can sensationalize a story of pain. But I find that it's oftentimes not. And I also feel like we're in a climate right now that Really encourages people to talk about the victimization of pain more than they do about the triumph over it, the strength that comes as a byproduct of that pain. And so that's mainly why I don't talk about it too much, because I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be that guy that's like all the time. No, man, you're given these lessons in your life so that you can. Triumph over them and use the traits that you've acquired from those lessons over time to carve out who you are.”
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“For better, for purely better, even through pain. We trade trauma for wisdom. That's what we do as humans. When we go through heavy experiences, it deepens our eyes. You know, I think for me, the reason I haven't really talked about it too much in the past is because, one, the media has a way of sensationalizing scars and victimhood like this is a person's character. And in very many ways it is, but they don't talk about the strength that is the byproduct of pain. They talk about the pain, which is useless. Like all it does is perpetuate the past, which I think are a pain that existed in the past rather than going, my God, look how well he's done for himself, even though he's had such a tough, tough upbringing. You know, I think Oprah is another wonderful example of this where her story, her origin tale, so to speak, is very well known. And look at what a beautiful example of success that she's become over time, you know.”
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“No, no, they don't. And I won't go too much into that because I don't want to make this whole podcast about another young man in LA with mommy issues. But I do think that That the circumstances of my life are at least my childhood are much like the sort of cliche narrative that you hear a lot about child stars. But I don't talk about it too much because I don't ever want to be perceived as a victim of it. I am not and have never been and never will be a victim of any circumstance that I am in. I don't wear victimhood on my shoulder. I don't like to act like I am my wounds to repeatedly be reminded of my wounds. What happened in my youth happened and carved me and forged me into the person I am today.”
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“Was a healthy regimen. It wasn't, you know, we weren't allowed to do whatever the fuck we wanted. And I think at that point I was going when you were a child, you go, man, this is no fun. But as you sort of pan out for a moment and you go, wow, I'm actually feeling a lot better here. I'm present here. I'm happy here, even though I don't get to eat ice cream all the time, you know?”
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“I mean I guess when social services came knocking, it's usually when it happens. I don't know. I would go over to my father's house because the court gave primary custody to my mother. And this is one I don't know too much about the UK legal system in this regard, but the United States legal system is incredibly biased towards the mother in cases of divorce and custody. And in this case, it certainly should have been my father taking custody. And this is obviously a case-by-case basis, but I would go into, you know, we'd spend some time with my father like once a week, and we wouldn't be able to eat candy and do whatever the fuck we wanted. He would, you know, make us go and exercise and play outside. And there was a regiment.”
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“I think it's a lesson that you have to learn, and it's all in a way reflecting back and carving you into the person that you're supposed to be. I also think it tests your patience and your love. And the people that really persist in continuously try and find the love after all the pain, consistently rearrive to the care and the connection and the love, even though you've been deeply wounded by the ones who are supposed to be at your round table. Those are the strongest individuals. In my opinion, you know, if you can consistently come to the other side of that conversation and go. I will still choose to care, I will still choose to love. Ah, That speaks a lot about you.”
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“Immortal, almost godlike figures in your life, especially during your youth, like that is the greatest lesson for your humanity that you can acquire. You know, the distinction between love and care and abandonment and pain as you grow. I really wouldn't call myself a religious man, but I do believe that everyone is put here in your life to have these interactions with you for some kind of reason. And I know that sounds like fadedness, which can be, you know, we'll leave that for another podcast. I think it's.”
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“It's a great question. Think you ever fully reconcile it. I think it's the difference between this kind of immortal, abstract connection to someone, this thing that we call love, this energy not to sound too California, you know, but this... Sort of a mortal connection between a mother and a child or a father and a son or whatever it is. And how do you distinguish that from anyone else who you would immediately cut off? And I think for me, I've recently I've recently arrived at the philosophy that almost everything is some sort of lesson that we must take, and I think lessons like this when it comes to parents, when it comes to people who are supposed to be these sort of”
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“A wicked narcissism, the inability to perceive anything outside your own perspective would probably be the biggest sickness I see. And That just doesn't work with me and the mother. That just doesn't work with being in a family in general. You know, when When it rains, it rains on everyone's roof That's how it goes. It takes a village, man. Selfishness. That is encouraged very much, like I said, from the industry, just doesn't really work. Really work for being a mother.”
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“I think the entertainment industry just kind of broke her. You know, this industry in very many ways. It encourages the worst qualities of you as a person. Narcissism, selfishness, greed, a lot of these things that we have come to know as practically cardinal sins, it's one of those things that encouraged a kind of selfishness that was Directly opposed to the very fundamental idea of motherhood. And as I grew older, in my case the court had to step in and rend my brother and I towards our father, who's an incredible guy. But that selfishness is something that the legal system also observed. and said that she was unfit. And I think as I've aged and I've looked back on a lot of the circumstances of that entire environment, I see a person that grapples with mental illness, drug abuse, but primarily narcissism.”
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“But my mother was still is the kind of tortured artist type she struggled with in very many ways her place in the world. I think she found a tremendous amount of self-identity through motherhood and tried to turn it into a profitable business at the same time, which for identical twin boys going into acting is sort of economic loophole through labor laws that can be incredibly profitable. So that's what she did. And as I've thought about it, it seemed like to me it made a lot of financial sense to her to put us into acting. It made, I think it satisfied some sort of narcissism that she probably had in order to be recognized as this sort of artistic success. She was a wonderful painter. So she always wanted sort of artistic. artistic legitimacy and validation, but as time went on”
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“I don't remember the exact timeline of divorce, but I remember only having one memory of them being together when I was very, very young. And then from that point on, my father was in Switzerland and my mother was in LA. He would eventually move out to LA in order to try and repair the family.”
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“You're expected to put it on display. I find it, you know, I feel quite afraid for young actors now who have to hone their craft over time, but do it to a global audience. That sucks.”
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“I don't regret too much. I don't. I think if I were to sit here and talk about regretting my childhood within the industry, I think that would be silly. It toughened the hell out of both my brother and I and many kids that go through that same thing. But I'm grateful for the financial stability of it. And I also am grateful to have done it in a time where you could get your Gladwell 10,000 hours in anonymously. You know, if you did a crappy direct to DVD movie just for kicks, I'm looking at you for anyone who knows this. If you did your crappy soccer movie, it would go to the back of Blockbuster and no one would see it. Now with social media, I mean. There's no way that you can. That you can cut your teeth in silence anymore. Everyone sees your portfolio globally.”
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“I think gratefulness and ungratefulness can exist simultaneously. And I am tremendously grateful of the financial stability I have acquired now as a 30 year old and being able to say, yeah, I'm okay now. I think in many ways I traded sort of the lantern consciousness of youth and sort of the carefree presentedness of youth for financial stability that I would come to appreciate as an older man.”
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“Well, I didn't, you know, I would hardly call it pushing because I was eight months old. I don't even think I knew. You know, I was on screen. I don't remember much of like the early, early, the diaper commercials and things like that. So the choice never really existed. I was there. That's it.”
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“It did. I mean, it started for me financially. Single mom, two twin boys, put food on the table. She is still able to be a mother while we can still pursue a sort of improvement of our lifestyle. And in very many ways she was living vicariously through the success of her children. But I think it certainly developed a relationship to professionalism much earlier than almost anyone else I know.”
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“So, I don't know about if I perceived it as work, but it certainly infused within me a kind of work ethic as I have aged. But yeah.”
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“Well, to be fair, I don't know if we can call it work. I don't believe I queued into consciousness until about like 10 years ago. When you're a baby, you have that kind of lantern consciousness where only, you know, whatever exists is only in your immediate purview. And then as you age, you know, and you start to become less present”
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“pressure of my upbringing really compelled me to continue doing what I am today. I cannot live without the arts. I mean, I cannot live without performance or expression in some kind because it's truly all I know and have known since I was eight months old.”
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“And those kids kind of showed up around 14. And for me, I think I had trained to kind of workaholism since I was a child in order to, one, feel valued by my environment, both immediate family and audience in very many cases, that has stuck with me a work ethic that has stuck with me now to this day. I do not feel good when I am not working. And I think a lot of people can say that. And that's something I've been trying to unpack over the last year and a half is what would happen if I just simply stepped away for good and enjoyed my life, which is really the purpose of why we're all here. Would I be content with sitting down and fishing and growing my own vegetables and, you know, living sustainably? Or would I get so disenfranchised and bored that I would have to take back to the arts in some way or another? And I think the”
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“I mean, I'm really glad I'm doing this podcast with you at this time in my life because for the last year and a half I've really been thinking about questions like this. What is it that still compels me into certain professional pursuits or artistic pursuits now? I think when I was younger it was definitely a financial pressure. There were kind of two kinds of kids, working kids really. There was the kids that were doing it to put food on the table for mommy and daddy. And they're like thespian children. You know, like, mommy, I want to go into acting. And they would show up and it would be this huge gap between philosophies, between like, yeah, man, it's a job. And like, no, this is a craft. This is an art.”
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“You're given these lessons in your life so that you can triumph over them and use the traits that you've acquired from those lessons over time to carve out who you are.”
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“I loved being on stage. I didn't like the shoot that came with it. This industry encourages the worst qualities of you, selfishness, greed, authenticity, and vulnerability are not really encouraged traits.”
2023-03-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Cole Sprouse: My Narcissistic Mum Sacrificed My Childhood For Fame! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Mother was living vicariously through the success of her children. A person that grapples with mental illness, drug abuse, but primarily narcissism, a wicked narcissism. But that selfishness is something that the legal system also observed and said that she was unfit. The court had to step in”
2023-03-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Cole Sprouse: My Narcissistic Mum Sacrificed My Childhood For Fame! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT