YouSaid · the spoken record

Dan Goleman

lines on the record: 54
first: 2020-12-24
most recent: 2020-12-24
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“On my podcast, that Kickstarter campaign, or in the newsletter, I'll be sharing more of my current thinking. And right now, that's pretty cutting edge. I'm right now writing an article for the Harvard Business Review on Organizational Emotional Intelligence.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I think it's because of very strong data which suggests that emotional intelligence just internally with your own employees, with the people in your organization, it means people are more committed, they're higher performers, fewer people leave your company. There's a huge economic cost to people quitting because you have to find someone new and train them and get them up to speed. So from an internal point of view, it's very smart for a company to enhance the climate, the overall feeling of emotional intelligence, then there's your clients or your customers. You want to absolutely tune into them. If you're tuned out, you lose market share. It's very straightforward. So at the organizational level, emotional intelligence matters greatly, and in fact, when I said, do you know my hopefully”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, you know, I see that training and development in an organization is basically adult education. It's social-emotional learning for grown-ups. So I'm very pleased with that, yes.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's an interesting question Very interesting question. I think what surprised me most from the time I wrote the book till now is the enthusiasm of the business sector for motion intelligence. When I wrote the book Emotional Intelligence, I had a little chapter managing with heart about business. And then I started getting invitations from companies all over the world to come and talk to them. And I was told by someone I was given some advice, you know, you can't use the word emotion in a business setting. That was 25 years ago. And now emotional intelligence in large part, I think, thanks to the Harvard Business Review getting behind the concept, emotional intelligence is pretty much a given for leadership particularly in a business setting. And that was a real surprise to me.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I mean, two of them are pretty obvious. One is if you find yourself in the throes of upsetting emotions, anger. Much of the time that suggests that you could do better at emotional management. If you find yourself having problems repeatedly in relationships, That suggests that you could do better at the relationship management skills. If people tell you that you're not listening to me, you don't get me. You don't understand me. That means I don't feel that you're empathizing with them. And if you don't know if you have any of these problems, it suggests you might do better at self-awareness. You know, Robert Burns, the Scottish poet, said, oh, that the gods the gift could give us to see ourselves as others see us, and the more your own sense of yourself fits with what you hear from other people, the better your self-awareness.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Ah well let me answer that last part of the question first. The data I'm familiar with shows that people who have a gap between how other people see them and how they see themselves, the bigger that gap is, the poorer their self-awareness and of the 12 emotional intelligence companies that we find make people high performers, low self-awareness predicts you'll have maybe strengths in one at most two high self-awareness predicts you'll have strengths in ten of twelve so it matters enormously for emotional intelligence and I think that remember emotional intelligence is not one thing it's not a single score it's a profile of strengths and limits and the better your self-awareness the better that profile can become so I think there's the strong relationship”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I suppose I don't know enough about the boarding school system, which I know is very common in the UK. I know you can have an excellent education on the academic side. I'm not sure what it does to your emotional intelligence, but from what you say, I'm a bit worried.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“that were known, then we could make better decisions that would make companies chasing market share do the right thing. And by the way, the technology for that exists. It's called life cycle assessment. Now it's being used by companies in a proprietary way. They do not share the data openly, but the data can be gotten. And what I mean by the data is how the life cycle of a given product Impacts the eight global systems that support life on the planet carbon, global warming being one of eight. So we have a huge shared blind spot about how our daily lives and the things we buy and use impact the environment, I think coming generations need to know that information. We need transparency there in order to get things right if we can in time, and I hope we can.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Probably I don't know of any data I like its appealing idea and also I think you get another benefit which is the children understand the importance of nature because I think in the coming decades it's going to get grimmer and grimmer from an environmental point of view for today's children and that we need to help them with a systems understanding of how for example commerce and the economy interact with the environment every time the environment is damaged pretty much someone's making money somewhere and we need to be more transparent about that for example we don't know the embodied ecological footprint of the car we buy the automobiles we drive the clothes we buy everything we use if at the point of purchase”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“some of whom did not. It showed that pro-social behavior, like feeling someone cares about me at school, so I don't cut class, I pay attention, goes up 10%, antisocial behavior, bullying, violence, misbehaving in class goes down by ten percent, academic achievement goes up by eleven percent because students are caught up in the small melodramas, particularly the teen years. They had that party and they did invite me. Why? I thought she was my friend. You know, that's a huge emotional crisis for a teenager and emotional intelligence, social emotional learning helps kids, helps teenagers navigate those crises well. And so I think it's as crucial in the teen years as it is in the early years and elementary school years. Absolutely.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah, very important. I see emotional intelligence education in this domain as crucial throughout the school years in the teen years I would say that by the way it's very important that teachers get some training in this and model it because how a teacher handles a given student is a lesson learned by 30 or 40 others students in the classroom at that moment. And teenagers just as with younger students need to feel valued, need to feel respective, need to feel cared about. This is very positive. The data, by the way, on what's called social-motional learning. This was a meta-analysis that involved more than 270,000 students, some of whom had the program.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I mentioned the Dalai Lama, I think he's a paragon in a way, certainly. He has self mastery, manages his emotions. Well, I've got to know him a bit over the years. Wonderful, amazing at empathy and relationships, yeah. But I would say I admire the current Prime Minister of New Zealand. I think she's managed crises very, very well. I don't really follow politics. I hope Joe Biden is emotionally intelligent. I would say that Donald Trump had his deficits and limits, and I'm happy to see him go personally, and I think I'll leave it there.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I think it takes a lot of self-awareness and a lot of self-management to do that. But when you are angry, you can ask yourself, you know, first of all, recognize your state and then ask yourself, is what I'm doing really helping me toward the goal. And all too often when we're in the throes of anger, we act or speak in ways that don't really help us. And that's when you need to use some self-management abilities to say, okay, I'm going to keep the energy. I'm going to keep the focus. This is important. But I'm going to try to be more effective in what I say and do.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Absolutely. Yes, I think anger, you know, every emotion has its place and has its purpose. Anger seems to have evolved to energize us and focus us when there's an obstacle to some goal, like justice. So for social injustice, anger is a good start, but don't stop there. I really like what the Dalai Lama says. He says anger can be constructive. Ordinarily, anger is destructive because we act wildly. We don't think about the consequences of what we do when we're in the throes of ordinary anger. He says, use the energy of anger. Use the focus of anger. Use the persistence of anger, but put aside the hostility and the rage. See what your goal is and work harder to get there because of your anger. But do it in an effective way”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Nose was running and I blew my nose. All of a sudden the entire restaurant became quiet. Because you don't do that in public in Japan, apparently. That's what I learned in that moment. So that's an example of picking up a cue from another culture. And yes, back to cultural intelligence, I think that particularly cognitive empathy is very important for mastering the norms of a different culture.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I think there's an orthogonal relationship. I don't think they map 100% on each other, but there's very strong evidence, even data, showing that empathy is crucial for cultural intelligence. People, for example, who are posted overseas in a culture different than their own, pick up the nonverbal cues and norms of the new culture much more quickly if they excel at empathy. If you're tuned out, if you're oblivious to how people reacting, you know, when you do something which is a great guffaw and a great mistake in another culture, and you don't notice that people are like stickering, I remember I was once in Japan in an Indian restaurant in Japan. The Japanese are wonderful at imitating other cultures. So it was a fabulous Indian restaurant, but the food was very spicy.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Many people think so. I think it remains to be seen, but one of the going theories these days is that AI is great for cognitive abilities, for technical skills. That's what it was invented for, for modeling the IQ part of the brain. It was not designed for modeling how people handle their own emotions or handle their relationships. And that is much more complex. And I think I don't think that AI will be very good at that very soon, if ever. Just to get back to your question, yes, I agree that the emotional intelligence part of your skill set is a team player, as a leader, as a healer, whatever you may be doing that's person-to-person. I think that for the time being, and maybe for a long time, is quite safe from AI”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Including AI and emotional intelligence is unfolding. For those of you who want to follow my thinking as it evolves, I invite you to subscribe to my LinkedIn newsletter. There's no fee for that. You just sign up. And I'm trying to get a podcast going because I love sharing my new thinking. Yes, yes. And I'm going to embed that in the newsletter. And we have the crew that's doing that has started a Kickstarter campaign, if you want to help us out. Go to Kickstarter, first person plural. It's about us. It's about we, and emotional intelligence and beyond. And this will allow me to share my current thinking right away instead of taking the two years to write a book and get it out. That's why I'm probably the future, isn't it?”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, this speaks to emotional intelligence going into the future, and by the way, I'd like to say my thinking is evolving. I'll get back to that in a moment. AI is wonderful at detecting patterns, at making instantaneous decisions. It may be a great help in the medical profession in terms of diagnostic accuracy. And AI, I think, will take over more and more functions within medicine, but I think it will be a long while if ever before AI can model well the skill set of emotional intelligence. And frankly, while I don't mind my physician using AI, if I were sick in bed, I'd rather have a person than a robot at my bedside, and then this gets to how my own thinking on emotional intelligence.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Help us more than emotional intelligence development. If you're up for it, psychotherapy gives you a deeper dive into your emotional patterns than emotional intelligence. And I can't recommend it in any particular case. It's an individual choice. But if you have the wherewithal and if you feel you have the need, if there's some, for example, if your relationships end in the same disastrous way over and over and over again, you might want to look at that in psychotherapy.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I personally am an advocate of mindfulness in combination with cognitive therapy if you're a therapist that's a little inside information. I won't judge other therapies. Some people have love a psychodynamic therapy or gestalt therapy. I think it's very individual. I think it may actually have more to do with your working alliance with that particular therapist if it's helpful or not. My wife, I have to say in full disclosure was trained in cognitive therapy and mine, which was the first to put mindfulness together with cognitive therapy in her book Emotional Alchemy, which I recommend if you're a therapist. On the other hand, I think that psychotherapy goes more deeply than emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence has to do with how we are in managing our emotions. And here's where psychotherapy can...”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That people are productive, and some data suggest they might be more productive in some positions, that may just stay the way it is. But I think companies, organizations will also have to take advantage of the fact that once again in the future we can get together and be with each other. And I think that will be important once again renew and strengthen relationships. And depending on the business, it may be important for getting the work done. But what we've seen is that for many, many companies, many organizations, in-person is not essential. So I think that the in-person may be more about emotional intelligence and strengthening emotional intelligence among workmates. We'll see.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think it remains to be seen my guess is this if you're working well from home, your organization may want you to come in only occasionally and may want you to come in particularly for collaboration and relationship building. I worked for many years at the New York Times, at the other times, the American Times, and I worked at home for the most part, but I came in every two weeks for meetings and to keep my relationship with my editors and my mates in the science desk where I worked strong. I think that was important too. So I think there'll be a combination. But many companies and many organizations have discovered that they don't really need all those buildings, that that's a holdover from the last century or the century before, that we can do so much now at a distance and to the extent”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I think that media like iPhones or contacting people online rather than in person or Facebook rather than in person, the key phrase here is rather than in person. Because to the extent weak connections through media take over our lives and replace our time with friends, family, people we really love and care about, it may do damage. Otherwise, if you keep your core relationship strong, I think that extending your reach of people you keep track of and stay in touch with is fine. It needn't damage emotional intelligence.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“What happens to people, his response to COVID certainly confirms that, so anyone can be good at one or another ability within the skill set, but I think you need to balance of all of them to be really emotionally intelligent.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So remember, emotional intelligence is not one thing, it's not like IQ, you get a single score. Emotional intelligence is, you know, like when you go to a physical, what are your triglycerides and what's your good cholesterol level and bad, you get a range of assessments. I'd recommend for people in the business world using the emotional and social competence inventory. It's a 360 that assesses all 12 of the emotional intelligence abilities. So back to the question, I think that Donald Trump may be good at a particular part of emotional intelligence, which is cognitive and emotional empathy. He knows how to play his followers' emotions. What he lacks is the third part of empathy which is empathic concern, which means you care about the person. I truly do not think he cares.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, this again has to do with the skills of the leader, because how do you present that information? I talk to coaches a lot, and coaches do want to assess this range of the people they're coaching, but they give the information to them very carefully so that the person doesn't feel judged, but rather they see it as news to use, something that they can build on and get better at. So I think that the problem may have to do with how that information gets introduced to the person or gets used in the administrative system.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Effective doesn't look at people and dismiss them for where their emotional intelligence limitations are now. I think that's a horrid mistake. Rather, it says, oh, well, you need to get better at X, Y, or Z part of it. Here's how we will help you do that. And the better companies, the better organizations and the better leaders from my point of view are the ones who help people keep developing because we can strengthen emotional intelligence wherever we need to at any point in life. So rather than just surveilling and dismissing someone for how they are now, you know, photograph of their skill set, the smarter way to use the concept is to see this as a baseline from which the person can then grow and develop further strengths.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, actually, I find it rather horrifying social intelligence issues that way. Yeah, because that's really not, I think that's a misunderstanding of the concept because it's okay to assess people for emotional intelligence if you're going to help them learn how to get better at it, not if you're going to condemn them for a limitation, judge them harshly, surveil in any negative sense of the word. I see it as a developmental model, a model for helping people get better and effective leadership.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would say that what's important is that a child feel loved by both parents even in that situation because that gives the child a sense of psychological safety as the British psychoanalyst John Bowby called it a secure base, which means they'll have healthy attachments as adults. And their emotional intelligence may not be changed by that situation, by the way. I think this gets to something even more basic, which is a child's sense of well-being that underlies it.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“To be able to influence and inspire, motivate, keep people enthusiastic, handle conflicts well, be a good team player, all of those are emotional intelligence skills. So I would say that the art of leadership, you know, getting work done well through other people really depends on emotional intelligence.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“An emotional intelligence organization which starts with leaders who model emotional intelligence and then having it rippled down through the ranks. And so if you think about it, leadership means being able to lead yourself first to stay focused on your goals, to stay optimistic, despite setbacks, to handle your upset. If anybody really is in a leadership position or any position and has what I call emotional hijack where they get really angry or, you know, get super rude or arrogant, it's always bad for business because people around them get effective negatively. Then there's the empathy and relationship aspect, which is the most obvious part of leadership. You want to be able to tune into the people you're leading. What are their concerns? What do they care about? And then you want to...”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Some years ago I wrote an article in the Harvard Business Review called What Makes a Leader Which Argues that Emotional Intelligence are the active ingredients in effective leadership, that became their most requested reprint in the history of the journal. People really resonated with that idea. I think it articulated something that people had known all along, which is that leadership is a relationship skill. You know, you need your tech skills, you need a certain level of intelligence to get a given job and handle its cognitive complexity, whether it's accounting or a business executive or medicine doesn't matter. You need a higher than average IQ. But once you get in that role, your IQ is not going to determine whether you emerge as a leader, as outstanding, as a wonderful teammate. It's your emotional intelligence, and there's lots of data now that shows this is the case. I just gave a talk yesterday about building”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, here's the problem learning about emotional intelligence does not mean you will be good at emotional intelligence. So the concept, you know, it's slang EQ is everywhere around the world. People know what it means. It doesn't mean they've gotten any better at it. So I don't really have any data on whether we've improved.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“She had companies nominate their star performers, both men and women, and found there was no gender difference in the top ten percent, that the women are as good at handling disruptive emotions as any of the men, and the men as good at empathy as any of the women. Very interesting data.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, actually, since that book came out, there are several assessments of emotional intelligence that show that if you compare genders, women on and recovering from negative emotions. So I think there's a profile of strengths and limits that each of us has across the 12 competencies, the four domains of emotional intelligence. And if you look at behavioral differences between genders, you're looking at too largely overlapping bell curves. What that means is that given man could be as good as any woman at empathy or relationship skills, or given woman could be as adept as any man at managing disruptive emotions. It's the averages that we're looking at. And very interestingly, if you look at the data from top 10% performers, this was data for a colleague of mine, Ruth Malloy.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“A gap in what they would have learned. I suspect they'll make it up very quickly. I'm hoping so anyway. And for adults, I don't know. We'll see.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's a great question. We don't know. I'm really more worried about kids, children, because they're not going to school and so much of what they learn and what shapes the emotional social circuitry is from in-person interaction. It's not just your parents and your friends at home or family at home. It's the teacher and other kids. Other children are very important teachers to each other of how to be a good human being, how to be emotionally intelligent, what works, what doesn't work. And so we have this period where there's a timeout for children everywhere who are maybe going to school online or they can't be with their friends. And we're waiting to see if there's a long-term deficit. Actually, I'm a little optimistic. I'll tell you why. Because the brain is very good at remedial education. So I think that if kids have”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's a very important question these days. Yes, I think we need to be more intentional about strengthening relationship online in this world, which hopefully will end in the next several months. Yes.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Software, because they were using it and they found that people were sneaking looks at their iPhone. They were not paying attention to the meeting. It's an endemic problem with being online. So what it means for emotional intelligence is we have to draw on the relationship capacities. Particularly empathy, we have to pay more attention to the other person. And I've been telling some audiences, business people particularly leaders, if you want to maintain a strong relationship with the people you work with, with your teammates, or with the people you're leading, you might need a side channel of communication. You might want to reach out to the person maybe by phone. Phone carries a rich load of emotional messaging about the person, not about the job, not about our task together, but how are you doing just to keep the relationship strong. So I think”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, I think it challenges our emotional intelligence, particularly empathy and relationship skills, because the brain, the social brain was designed for face-to-face interaction. And when we're with someone in person, remember those days when we could do that with other people? Dim and disembemory. You pick up so many instantaneously. You pick up social cues. It's automatic. It's unconscious and it tells you that person you're with reacted to what you just did or said and what to do or say next to be effective. We don't have that immediate in-person feedback. We can't reach out and touch someone. We can't pick up the fleeting emotional cues that tell us how they feel. I remember before the whole pandemic, I was asked to come in and talk to a group at a major company, I can't name it. Vision that designed their own web meeting.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes. So that improves the capacity for managing emotions because managing emotions is really about handling, you're disruptive, you're disturbing emotions, your anger, your anxiety, your fear. You don't want to interrupt at all with your passions, your exuberance, your enthusiasm. You want to boost that. So self-management means both enhancing the positive emotions and then handling better the ones that keep you off track. And yes, so that's an attribute of emotional intelligence and that exercise I just shared is a way to strengthen it.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Now you can open your eyes. That's a very quick introduction to a method that people typically will do maybe five or ten minutes a day in the morning or longer if they can. There's a dose response relationship. The more you do, the better the benefit. But this is a really interesting study. If you are really focused on a task that you”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I have worked with a bit. The instructions are really simple. It goes like this. If you're home and you feel comfortable, sit up straight, not tense, relax, but spine straight. If you feel fine about closing your eyes, that can help. And just bring your awareness, your attention to your breath. Don't try to control your breath. Just let it be its normal pace. But notice the full in breath and the full out breath. Then a pause and then next in breath the next out breath. And just keep your attention on your breath When your mind wanders off somewhere and you notice it wandered, just bring it back to the breath and start again with the next breath. Breathing in Breathing out In the next breath, breathing in, breathing out?”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“clear about what's going on. So that's something I've been sharing this with frontline medical workers, for example, because it's a quick and easy way to make the shift if you need it right now on the spot. But there's something else you can do. And this strengthens the neuronal circuitry in the brain that will make our upsets less common. We get triggered less often. If we do get upset, we get less upset than we would formally. And we recover more quickly. The definition of resilience is the time it takes to go from the peak of your upset to back to your relaxed baseline. So the method is a breath meditation. It's sometimes called mindfulness of breathing. It's really a focusing or concentration exercise. In the UK, it's taught at Action for Happiness, an organization that I...”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, all you can. One method that research shows can help you right away is a controlled breathing method. It really comes from the yoga world and it involves, here's what you do. You take a deep breath so that your belly expands. That's a really deep breath. Hold it as long as it is comfortable. And then exhale very slowly through your mouth. And if you do this six to nine times, the research shows it shifts your physiology from the anxious modes, flight or flight response, as we call it, technically sympathetic nervous system arousal. It shifts it from that from being stressed out, if you will, to being relaxed. That's the parasympathetic nervous system mode, or the relaxation response, if you will, but it calms the body down. And with that calm, you can be more”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yes. Well, remember that managing your own inner world is the first part of emotional intelligence. There's our self-awareness and using that awareness to handle or disruptive emotions and stress and anxiety, which are higher than ever because of COVID and working at home and many, many economic worries and so on. The stress is so high. And I think emotional intelligence abilities in learning how to manage stress can help all of us. And in fact, if you'd like, I could share two techniques for doing that right now in the audience.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“For you know, I think of the work of Simon Baron Cohen, I think is at Oxford University. He studies autism and the spectrum, and what he finds is that although people on that spectrum can be brilliant at understanding systems, they tend to have a deficit which may be brain-based in empathy. So I would say that if you have a brain-based deficit of any kind in this domain, it would be harder for you to learn to remediate that and be as good as everyone else in that particular skill set.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“All of that has a developmental path. So, for example, if you have a five-year-old child, that child probably would do well to learn a little more impulse control. You'll see that by the time that child is eight, he or she is much better at it, and that has to do with the growth of the brain. The emotional and social circuits of the brain are the last part of the brain to become anatomically mature until the mid-20s. What this means is that there's a fabulous window of opportunity to help our children get it right in the first place. So unlike the rest of us, they won't need remedial work. It's never too late, by the way, to enhance your emotional intelligence, but you've got to want to do it. Because as an adult, you have to overcome whatever bad habit you learn, for example, the common cold of bad habits, particularly in leadership among physicians.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, let me speak first to the factors of success because there's another misconception about emotion intelligence I'd like to clean up all we can and that is that eighty percent of success, career success is due to emotional intelligence. That's a misreading of the book. I talk about how IQ accounts for maybe 14 to 20 percent of career success and the other 80% includes emotional intelligence, but it's things like the connections that you make, the wealth of the family you grew up in, your education, luck, all of those different kinds of variables determine how well we do. And yes, it can be taught. It's learned and learnable, unlike IQ, by the way, which pretty much is a measure of how quickly your brain can take in and register and act on new information. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, things like empathy, how we handle emotion.”
2020-12-24 · Intelligence Squared · Christmas Special: Dan Goleman on Emotional Intelligence with Manveen Rana · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source