YouSaid · the spoken record

Davina McCall

lines on the record: 141
first: 2023-01-05
most recent: 2023-01-05
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Do you ever feel like an island in your life like that your family all around you but you're not quite attached like you? You are slightly on your own.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then I'll take care of you. But I never thought she'd die at 50. But she was a great person. But her passing, my dad, you know, when he died, he had Alzheimer's and it was expected. We knew it was coming we'd spent 10 years preparing for it. It was still horrific. But he was 78. And I knew he'd lived an amazing life, but I still felt my sister had so much more to give, you know.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But since then, you know, and me being in a good place, I keep telling her, I keep going, oh man, like I wish you were here, like so I could show you how great it is. She'd be living with me now. You know she'd be so Happy we'd be good, I imagine myself I always thought that I'd be winging her around. I always imagined she'd probably get emphysema and she'd have an oxygen tank. And I'd tell her that I'd go, if you carry on doing that, you're going to get flumin. And I said, but I'm happy to wheel you around. I am. We'll go and live by the seaside somewhere and you and me can be a couple of old grannies and I'll.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She was worried about me Do you know what I mean? Like that was her last thought like are you gonna be all right because she knew how much of a backbone she was for me that's what I meant about it being a reciprocal agreement like it wasn't just me taking care of her she was taking care of me and it was a reciprocal agreement and she wanted to make sure that I was going to be all right and I kept going I'm going to be fine. And I talked out all the time, but in the last five years, so I had a huge grieving thing seven years after she died, I went like all summer. She died on the 1st of August and all summer I couldn't shake off this. As somebody online interestingly had said, often seven years after someone's died, it's like a bang. And I was like, this is what's happening to me seven years. It's like so painful again.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“herself that I had never had before. And it was so nice. and she went to sleep that night and actually in the middle of the night then they came. and they gave her a bit more morphine. He said, okay, she was really distressed. She was calling me mummy. and holding on to my hand. She'd never been like that before. And she gave her some morphine and it calmed her down a bit and then Three days she just slept basically, but I was with her when she went and it was really lovely. And I kept talking to her the whole time'cause they say your hearing is the last thing that goes. And I just wanted her to know I wasn't crying, I was just trying to be really strong for her And I kept saying to her I'm going to be fine'cause I think out of everything.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I said to her, would it be all right if I did the DIPR base? Because I needed to deprive her before she got into bed so she didn't get bed sores. And that's like moisturizing every inch of her body. And she went, Yes, but you're not going to do it again. Like this is the only time I'm going to let you do it once. And I said to her. so much and I got to she had the softer skin I'm very furry my sister had no hair like a tall She was bald as a coot and her arms and stuff were so soft I got the dipper and I was like oh my god Caroline your arms are soft and she was laughing when she's going oh my god you are ridiculous I was going this is amazing and I got to cream her whole body And it felt like She'd given that to me, and it was hideous for her. And even when she was dying, she gave me a bit of”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She was doing this kind of knitting thing with her hands. She was really uncomfortable. You could see there was something had changed a bit. And I was like, hey, you okay and Claire didn't come until maybe seven or eight in the evening to put her to bed with the district nurse and And she said, I want to go to bed now. Oh no, Claire was there, but she needed somebody else to put her to bed because those hoists and everything. And I said, well, look, Claire and I could do it, but it would mean that it would be me. And she went. Okay, but laughing, and I was like Are you serious? And she went, Yes. And I went, Oh my God, Caroline, thank you. Thank you, but at the same time I was like, you know, I'm going to cry like this is the Maka. I've arrived, you know. Is my pilgrimage to my sister. I crawled over the fence and I'm now at her body”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, I guess, you know, I'm always looking for lessons. She taught me so much in her death. She was so brave. She never once complained. She never once got frightened, she never cried, and she tried to look after me, and one of my most I'm sorry, Stephen, I know I'm talking a lot, but there was one moment I do want to tell you about, so obviously no one had ever seen the naked. And she had this amazing caracle Claire Oh my God She was. The best ever she was the most gentle. And dignity, and she knew Caroline almost straight away she knew what kind of person she was, and Caroline would not let me get her undressed already for bed. It was like I don't want you to see me naked. And the night that she went to sleep for the final time and then three days later she died.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Check in with people, call people, make sure they're okay, spend time with people, make the decisions where you think if I was to die tomorrow, is this the decision that I'd be happy with? Equally, if you've got somebody very toxic in your life and they are really ruining your life, you know, if you had six months to live, you would be the first thing I do is let go of this toxic person. Do not wait. You know, do it now. And you deserve to be happy. You deserve to not have this toxic person in your life. And Caroline.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And we thought she had six months and we wrote a bucket list. and on the bucket lists just the sweetest stuff like go to France one more time and see the kids. We tried to make as much of it happen, get loads of her friends down. A lot of the stuff we couldn't do. Again, like, why do people do bucket lists when they're dying? Like, do bucket lists when you're alive. And also, I would challenge anybody listening to this podcast because this was a real thing for me. If somebody said to me, Vena, you have got Six months to live What's like the most important thing to you now? What really matters? Don't wait for somebody to say that you've got six weeks to live. Say I love you to all of my friends, all of the people that I love nonstop”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so she had a month in the hospital and then I said, I want to get her home to her cottage. I had to go around and find all her weed. And it was everywhere. I literally could have, you know, started dealing. She had that much weed squirreled away. I think she'd forgotten half of the places that she'd had it squirreled away. Chucked it all away. I wasn't, I didn't find that hard at all. I was never interested in weed, so it was easy for me. I set up her house, got the plumber in, put in things for her to hold, occupational therapy came and taught me all the places where I need to put stuff, harnesses, hospital beds, blah, blah, blah, set up her whole cottage, got her back home. and just hung out with her and we got a carrot and she had chemo booked him but the first chemo was booked him for two days after she died”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She'd put a fence around her, and everybody was at the fence and she had so many friends that loved her so much, but nobody got inside the fence, and it made me so sad. And I thought I'm fucking climbing over the fence and I'm gonna get in for however long you've got left because you are not shutting me out. We had the best talks she was in hospital for a month. We had the most thorough. Amazing Brilliant talks that I thought God, why is it that when you're dying? Get to do this, why did we not do this a year ago? Like, if anybody's listening and they feel like they've got a relative that they want to get into or do it, don't wait for someone to die. Because the best seven weeks of my life with my sister were those last seven weeks of hers.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I went back in, kind of tried to dry off my eyes or what have you. And we just sat there in silence really and then lots of people came in and were looking at her. One of the saddest things was someone lifted up her back to put the stethoscope on her back and listened to her. And I saw another side going to sound so weird, but I saw a blackhead on her back and it was massive. And it had grown into kind of a sore. It looked horrible. And I thought No one sees you. No one no one sees you naked no one You don't let anyone in like I am the closest and even I am not in'cause you are so protective of that painful child she'd never done the work she'd never got to NA or AA she wasn't really an addict I mean you know she smoked a lot of weed but I didn't see her as an addict she wasn't an alcoholic she wasn't”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't understand what's happening. I think they're telling me because they hadn't said the word die. I think they're telling me Caroline's dying like she's got so much cancer that she's dying Said, I'll keep you posted. I go, freshen up my face. There was a nurse there that I've seen a couple of times since when I've taken my kids into A&E. And I always give her a bit of a special hug She came up to me in the corridor And she was like, Are you okay? And I was like, I'm not okay. She was like, what's going on? I said, well, my sister's got this and this. And she was like, really sorry. She just gave me a hug and that was it. And then she went, but I've never forgotten it, you know. That hug I needed touch. I needed someone to.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My mum and dad, I'm just going to go and call them and just let them know what's happening. And I called them. Couldn't breathe. I was like in the corridor going, I think I'm going to have some kind of attack. Like I can't process it.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We've got something to tell you. We're both thinking, yeah, we're in AE, right? And he goes, Yeah, you have primary lung cancer in both lungs, and you have two brain tumors, it's metastasized to your brain, and the pain in your back is where your lung cancer is then going into your bone, so you probably have bone cancer as well. like that can't be right and she went lung cancer and then she looked at me and she went That's all my fault it's not your fault Like it's not your fault you've got lung cancer. You could see her just going tick tick tick smoking all those years smoking, the smoking the weeds. And I was like, stop, stop. We need to think like, what are we going to do? Like, okay, what are we going to do? In the meantime, I just said, I'm just going to go and call.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think this is a stroke. I was like, but it must be a stroke because half her body's gone, like this is what happens in a stroke. They get her in an ambulance. I'm now a bit worried, said the I'm thinking if this isn't a stroke, what is going on? But I was just trying to be strong for her. It's going to be fine. We're going to get you to hospital and they're going to get it sorted. It's probably, you know, bit menopause, bit of whatever. Maybe you're smoking too much. We get out of the hospital. Test after test after test. And I was thinking, brain scan, I understand. And then they said, we'd like to do a chest x-ray. And I was thinking, why are you doing a chest x-ray? If it's clearly neurological. She goes to the chest x-ray, and then about an hour later we get a doctor come in and he goes”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I got back she'd have flew all week she'd been in bed all week I was like whoa Caroline like I think maybe you should go see something she said no I think I'm coming out of it Then the next morning Someone had been walking past her window, and they said, Davine, I think you should come and hear Caroline shouting for help. I got the key, opened the door. She'd been on the floor all night. She was in her pajamas. She'd soiled herself. She couldn't move. She was paralyzed down half a body, and I was like Sir Stroke. Quick call the ambulance, the quicker we can get our scene, the better. The rat car comes, you know, stroke expert. He walks in, he goes.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She had a sore back, and she'd fallen over we'd been in the garden and she'd fallen over. And she kept going, you know, when I fell over, my back's like still not right she used to cane the advil. I mean, she was terrible with like pain colours. She used to take sleeping pills, you know, she's slightly medicate herself, weed sleeping pills advil like all the time. I just thought she's on another planet. But it got to the point where I thought something is up and I'd invited her to come to France with us for half term. She always came on holiday with us and she said no which was very unlike her and I was like, Are you sure? She went, I just want to stay here. I'm so tired I don't feel I just feel like I've got flu coming on. I was like, okay.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then she was sitting at the table and she was talking to me and she had a glass in her right, her left hand, it was her left hand. She had a glass in her left hand. And as she was talking to me, I was watching the glass. Her left hand was tipping further and further over to the side and I was watching the glass and the water was just, and I went, Caroline, your hand. And she went, oh, but she had to look at it to tip it back up. And I was thinking, that's very weird. And she became a bit clumsy. And I thought, too much weed or menopause or something. She became a bit forgetful She kept going off menopause. I can't remember what's going on.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But because she was so secretive, things were going a bit awry. So she just had her 50th birthday. And she sort of walked into a door once. A door was half open and she kind of walked into it. And I was like, didn't you see that? I thought she's been smoking too much spliff, you know.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Very secretive, and I was b I would tell her everything. She would tell me nothing. It was very annoying. I would walk round naked in front of her all the time. I go, I'd phone her out, I go, Carol, come and talk to me when I have a bath. I mean, I was so annoying. I was an annoying little sister right up until the very end. So she'd come over to the house and she'd sit on the floor and I'd go like, talk to me, tell me everything, what's happened at work, blah, blah, blah. And then I'd share something or I'd talk about a problem and she'd help me iron it out. She was amazing, so good to talk to. So kind of wise, always a bit painfully honest with me. Yeah, but you know you're overstepping the mark or you know you shouldn't be doing this she's the only person that could do that with me”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so her favourite thing in the evening, you know, I love socializing. I'm a people person. I like going out. I am touch. She would be TV dinner food on lap, foie gras, a ton of butter, French bread, glass of red wine, spliff. If I would say to, Do you want to come for a walk around the garden? She was French, fully French, so her mum and her dad were French. And I'd say, do you want to come for a walk around the garden? She'd go, nah. You know, exercise, not her thing. Absolutely hilarious person so funny.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“By telling untruths, and I don't want to do her a disservice in her death because we talked about this when she was alive, and I goes, that a poor key and she'd start laughing. She'd go, well, it did happen, but this didn't happen, you know. But it was just trying I understood her, and she understood me and all my defects of character. And she knew exactly why I did things. And she was an insular person, quite an insular person, and her favourite thing would be to go, but she lived with me always. We had six dark years when we didn't live together, but she lived with me when I had a two bed flat in Hammersmith. We were very funny together, like I just understood everything about her, and she understood all my idiosyncrasies and I got all of hers.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was definitely the worst thing that ever happened to me, still to this day, like the worst. So I told you a little bit about Caroline with my mum and that she was six years older than me. and she lived in Paris she was the result of my mum's pregnancy when she was sixteen. And she endured a lot well a lifetime with our mum, and that was very hard on her, and she was left with many hang ups from that of she was she used to find it hard to be completely honest all the time, so she'd tell big exaggerations about things or make up stories, but this is because she'd had to lie to cover for my mum her entire life. Not all the time, but just she'd make her life a bit more exciting.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. Whereas other people might think, oh, I can't do that because he's Stephen Bartlett or I'll have to email him or, oh no, I've seen him on the telly. I can't approach him. But when you meet a ballsy kid and they go, can I come and shadow you for a day? Give me a number I want to, you think, yeah, sure.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Anita Roddick started the body shop and she lit kind of lit the wick of kind of interest in, lit the fuse, I mean, of my interest in activism. And she was saying, you know, if you don't think that you have the power as one person, then you've never been to bed with a mosquito. She said be as annoying as a mosquito and I was like I think that's me I am as annoying as a mosquito and that when I meet somebody and I bet you're the same, Stephen When you see a kid and a kid comes up to you and goes Stephen can have your number'cause I've got an idea and I want to come and pitch it to you, you would go yes.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I've sent this email to this woman and I've just told you about it because this was a manifestation. It's triggered my memory that I've told this. I'm going to send a follow-up email today. Now, is my car self-driving? It kind of is because I've been telling you about a manifestation because I had it in the first place. You've just reminded me I'm going to send the email”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But in my mind, I see that if you know where you're going, Your car self drives. You almost are always walking in the direction because you can see it. I know that at some point I will do this.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Interesting because you said you've got it's all very well putting it in the satnav is the manifestation but then you've got to drive the car”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They said, oh, we're looking at something else that's quite similar. We might consider you for that. Well, if I hadn't sent them that email in the first place, they wouldn't have thought about me for the other show, maybe. You got to make opportunities happen they never just come to you. Keep walking. I'm always talking to my kids, just keep walking. Something will come build the foundations and just keep walking as you're walking you're laying more and more path. Don't sit and wait for the path to be laid because it'll never come to you.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I could fill a villa in Love Island with middle-aged people, with the best backstories you have ever heard in your life. They've lived a life. They're widows, they're people who have been through horrific divorces. They are people who have split up with somebody and decided they want to try going out with somebody the same sex as them. They're like interesting people. I'd watch that show”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I always think, well, just start walking in that direction and something else will come along, but never just sit down and wait. I've never sat down and thought, oh, I'm just going to stay here and wait for something to happen to me. I have got no embarrassment or shame about emailing a TV company or a head of a TV company and going, have you thought about this? What about this? Can I present that if it happens? Can I do this? I'm literally begging ITV to let me present midlife Love Island.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You would have everything from money, advice, personal advice, mental advice, kids' advice. And I went and talked to a few people about it and for whatever reason it didn't happen. But it wasn't meant to happen. I tried to get it off the ground for like two or three years. I tried to make it a TV program. I tried to make it an exhibition. I tried to make it an online thing. And you know when you're swimming against the tide with an idea and at some point you've just got to take your hands off the steering wheel and go like that wasn't meant to happen. But then I got offered Long Loss family. Now Long Loss family, I've been filming that program now for 13 years. It makes me feel so good that show and I've helped so many people on it which has been so wonderful to be part of that moment in their life where they learn something that's been a niche that they couldn't scratch for years and years and we can provide that scratch.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean this is another thing that I marvel at every day because many times in my career where I've thought. This is it. It was interesting after Big Brother finished. I contacted a friend of mine who was like a tech. a techie person. And I'd had this thought like after Big Brother, I thought, who am I? And where am I going to go? And it could all end. And as the person that was providing the roof and the food on the table, it was like me I had to think of my next step, what was I going to do? I'm not sure how long television is going to last. I mean, it's still going, which is amazing for me, but I thought I need to get into technology and the internet and I need to go online. And I came up with an idea for I thought about it in terms of an exhibition centre, but you could put that online where”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, but in, you know, and it's just gonna, these are all seeds that are planted in you that just continue to grow. So life gets better. You know, Mother Nature throws you crapey knees and crapey elbows and crow's feet and But it also throws you a full heart and A peaceful mind.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh when I think about it well, because I'm grateful and I think because you know we were talking about what makes you a positive person. It's because you think it's been a roller coaster, right? It's for you. It's been a roller coaster. But like it's not about the Lambeau or the house or the mansion, it's about this and you're roller coaster and your journey to money and making it and then realizing it doesn't fix you and then you fixing yourself by being on a journey of self discovery which you massively are by talking to all these different people you're like taking little bits from everything that somebody says to you and think I'm going to use this for me that was a great tool thank you very much I'm going to have that It's like you are healing yourself. This is your NA meeting. This is your recovery.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I don't walk forwards. I don't know how I got here, just walked forward. You know but settling down and I feel like I've grounded in a way that I've never had before. And, you know, I think it's so important to talk about this stuff because. At fifty five If you'd have said to thirty year old me What's life going to look like when you're 55? I'm going to say really sad. I probably won't be doing TV anymore, it won't want me, and I'll be really boring, and I won't be having fun anymore, and so And I think my God I couldn't be wrong more wrong like I've got to go and tell everybody quick tell everyone it's going to be okay Stephen It's going to be okay”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I haven't never been so happy. I can't even. I sat Know, it was really funny because I said. My boyfriend this morning, I said, I'm going to do this thing with Stephen Barton this morning, and he was like, Oh my god. I said, I am not going to cry. I'm like, I haven't done Piers Morgan specifically for this reason because I was like, I am not going to sit and it's weird because it's the thing. I could talk about my pain till the cows come home and not feel a thing because it's so far removed from me and it was a long time ago and I've processed and processed and processed it. feeling happy is so alien like a hundred percent like joyous Sitting on the train and just feeling so good this morning. And it's not like euphoria or a druggy happy or a fake high, it's contentment. Oh my god, it's like I can't I cannot quite believe it.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, being famous You got to do it for the right reasons. I did it for the wrong reasons And now I'm here and I've got this job and I'm on the wheel and I don't know how to you know I can't get off I didn't want to get off I mean I was enjoying my job don't get me wrong working MTV were some of the greatest years of my lives my life but Actually, it probably his lives I've had lived about ten different lives in my lifetime and MTV was one of them. But I think that realization that the thing that I'd been aiming for that I thought was going to fix me and it didn't was like again the end of something and the start of another phase of my life. Okay, well you're going to have to find it inside somehow.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And she said right, you know, we picked it apart and picked it apart. And I said, it hasn't fixed the hole. It didn't make me think, oh my mum's going to want me back. And then to top it all off my mum did call me and say she'd seen it because you could see it in France because it was European. And she said what, you know, I think you should stop pulling the faces. You pull these faces and I was like. That was not the desired effect. I did not want you to think that. I wanted you to think, wow, you're amazing, you know. So it was a really Heavy moment and then I thought wow I need to warn everybody.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because she felt like I was just trying to show her up or that, you know, don't think that she was drunk. She was drunk. She took it badly. She's like, felt that it was me trying to say that she wasn't good enough or that she'd done something. And I was so confused by that that I thought I'm going to show you. Like I'm going to make you want to. Anyway, my aim was I want to get my own show on MTV. That's what I want. And I got my own show on MTV and I presented the first show and I went up to the dressing room afterwards and I cried and I cried and I cried and I couldn't figure out why I was crying and I called my sponsor which is something you have in Narcotics Anonymous Who's there to help you decipher yourself?”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because all my kids are like, oh my god. In the car, I'm always like, you know, like they're going, oh my God, like stop. If I could have turned my family into the von Traps and I really tried or made them all do choir, I all had to kind of do singing lessons. They just weren't buying it at all and I'm so upset about that. But if I could have had the von traps, that would have been my dream. Anyway, failed singer. Else can I do to get famous? All of this obviously mum look at me. You made a mistake. Look how great I am. That's at the back of everything, right? I mean, for example, when I was 15 or 16, and I did quite well in my O-levels, they were O-levels back then, how old I am. And I called up my mum to tell her I'd done quite well on my own levels. She was really angry.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, I mean, the first MTV thing, so I'd wanted to be a singer, another desire to be famous. I wasn't good enough. I was like, I would be an amazing backing vocalist. My nickname at home is the harmonizer. I can't listen to a track without harmonizing to it. I absolutely have to.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My God, it was Mega and I feel like from that moment I've been a different person in all of my decisions, in my outlook on life it's been Mega.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Mrs Basic, what's happened? What's just happened? And he said, We've planted a seed. And he said, let's just wait and see what happens there. He said this was basically to stop you feeling like you're going to. Be abandoned at the bottom of the sea, but actually, I think maybe we've done something bigger here. It might be kind of amazing what happens. And a couple of things happened after that where I said actually it's not okay to treat me like that. I would never have said that before because I was worried you'd abandon me. I stood up to you and said not okay. I'd think or you might not like me anymore. It was very important that everybody liked me. And suddenly I was like actually I can stand up for myself in a non aggressive way and not actually mind if you like me or not because I'm doing it for me.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh my God. Look at me now I'm great It was like everything went, you know, all the cogs and the wheels and my brain all went click. I am going to be okay I looked at her and I got like her head in my hands and I was like you are gonna be okay your life is is gonna be amazing and it will be full of ups and downs but you are gonna be okay And he said you can take her back. Let's take her back. So I went back to the kitchen Put her down in the seat, and she's smiling at me, and then he says we can leave now, but he said before we leave, I want you to just turn round and look at her one last time and tell me what she looks like. I said she looks happy. He said, Great, and then he brought me round. I was like bawling.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And he said, OK, sit her down and sat her down. And he said, You know, comfort I said she looks worried. And he said comfort her I said, I feel silly, I don't know what to do. It's me. It feels weird. And he said, Imagine she was one of your own children, comfort her as if she was your child. So I put my arm round her. And I thought okay, this is easier, and then her head went on my chest, and I was stroking her hair. I said, I don't know what to say. I kept thinking he's looking to me to say something profound and I've got no idea how to do this. And he said, Well, why don't you tell her it's all going to be okay? I really started crying, like really crying. He said the same thing. I said I was not going to be okay. I take drugs, I make stupid decisions, I put myself in danger. It's bad. And he went, But look at you now. And it was like”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That is something that you've worked on a lot and is hard to let go of. I mean, I didn't even think really that my fear of abandonment issue was still there. But I do think it was. And we did some regression work. I went back to me in the kitchen looking at my granny, thinking My mum's not going to come back. And I don't know what to do and I feel a bit guilty. I think I've overstayed my welcome, and the hypnotist said Go get that Divina. Take her by the hand. He said, Where's your favourite place in the garden? said the oak tree. So he said, Take her to the oak tree, is that I cry over to the oak tree, little me, four years old.”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I'll learn everything to help me. I did have. Another transformational moment when I got hypnotized. For a job that I was doing about eight years ago. And that was like that was when the impermeable seal went on my fear of abandonment, and it was unexpected because I wasn't going to the hypnotist about that. I was going to the hypnotist about not feeling anxious going in a submarine to a thousand meters under the sea. Tiny three person submarine where you can't stand up and there's no Lou and it takes forty minutes to get to the surface again. And I thought, I don't forget claustrophobia, but I don't want to find out at a thousand meters under the sea that I am indeed claustrophobic. So I thought I'd better go and get hypnotized just to make sure And that was have you ever done hypnotism Ah, man, I mean, if you've got an issue,”
2023-01-05 · The Diary of a CEO · Davina McCall: “I was doing cocaine with my mum at 15!” · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT