YouSaid · the spoken record

Diana Chapman

lines on the record: 89
first: 2024-05-24
most recent: 2024-05-24
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Okay, so which one is it? Is I shouldn't or is it dangerous? Because it sounds like that one kind of lit up for you. It's dangerous if I go into a depressive episode. Yeah, I think.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, and it sounds like the judgment might be something like I shouldn't slip into depression. A depressive episodes. Is that right”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let's see if we can find something real for you if you're willing to see if we can find something that's irritated you lately, something where it's kind of like Maybe somebody did something that bugged you or you're upset about some policy out in the world or any place where you notice you get a little triggered.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm a huge fan of Byron Catie, and I really love her work. I do the work with myself, and I do the work with my clients. And I say, okay, is it true? Is it true this thing you believe? Can you absolutely know it's true? And, you know, I'm wise enough now to know I can't absolutely know anything. And then what's it like when you do really believe you're right? I help people find there's always some suffering. And then what would it be like if you just couldn't believe it? And people find, oh, that's nice. It feels good. And then, okay, great. Could we just go look at the opposite? You can keep your righteous stories, but can we also ask you to hold the opposites as at least is true so that the mind can get to neutral and then something else gets to happen.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure, I might say something like. So, what I hear is you believe you're right that XYZ is occurring. And that could be true. And I'm just wondering if you're open to another possibility that maybe it's not as true as you think. So I might just gently bring a little challenger of asking them to consider that there might be another option. That's another form of how we challenge each other is questioning the stories we tell because we're all just telling stories all the time. Or I might say I hadn't considered that perspective. I've been holding this perspective and I might share my perspective. And it just depends on how well or not well I know the crowd that would have me be more thoughtful in how I might respond.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Pressure by just revealing what's here and not making it mean anything, but just saying, here's what's happening. Maybe this is about something I don't know about yet, but let me just tell you what's happening. I don't think we do that enough with each other.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And he was really grateful. And he said, Thank you. I really hear you. I need to question these beliefs I'm holding. So that's my practice over and over again is being able to listen to my body. I was with another conversation the day and people were talking about their opinions about the world. And I just said, hey, I noticed I'm contracting. My body's contracting as I hear you guys talking. And that's all I had to say. It was just, I'm just going to report what's happening over here. And it was a form of challenge to them. And they went, wow, you know, you're right. We're really in some fear-based thinking here. So my body helps just sometimes I just report. I notice I'm bored or I notice I'm withdrawing or I notice I'm getting confused or I notice I'm contracting. Those are ways I might just express a little.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because you got a lot of stories in your head that you're believing and nobody's challenging you. The guy stood up. Like he sat up really straight and I felt him pop out of some haze he was in. Like the challenger so woke something in him. And so story I was making up about that guy is he was just getting so nurtured, but nobody was bringing the challenge that could help him break out of the state he was in. And so, you know, I just knew that because I was thoughtful of from my own presence here of what do I need to say to this guy that here I care about him, but I also say cut it out because how you're organizing yourself here isn't going to take you to this new place you want to go.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, again, I think in order to do that well, you have to be connected to your head, your heart, and your gut. That's certainly been really clear to me that I have to be fully present to know then what's the balance of challenge and nurturing. So, for example, I had a guy who called me recently, was wanting to know if we could work together. And he was very, very depressed. And I was asking him questions and he was really stuck. And he had a lot of critical thoughts about himself and he couldn't get motivated to do anything. And I asked him about therapy. He said, yeah, I've been in therapy for a year. And I said, okay, you need to fire your therapist.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah, it was something like hi, you've reached Diana. I may or may not respond to this call and I'm gonna just listen to if I feel called I will and if I don't I won't and it was It was. You know, just very much of I'm going to listen in and decide whether I'll call you back in when I'll call you back. And so it was just basically saying don't have any expectations.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I might say let's play with the fact that you need more play. Like, can we make that bigger? Oh, I need more play. Oh, God. You're like. I tend to say, let's exaggerate everything because that's one of the easiest, quickest forms of play is exaggerate where you're at. So make wherever you're at bigger. And so if I'm like, I can't play, it's so hard for me to play. I go, okay, well, let's play with that. Make that bigger until all of a sudden now you're kind of giggling because it seems funny. And then you just played. So exaggeration is one of my favorite ways. So when I am coaching people and they're in some place that they say they don't want to be in, I say, well, then let's make it bigger wherever you're at. And then it always pops them through”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then keep attending to it. Keep giving your attention to it, and then it starts spreading around. And then all of a sudden, there's this really wonderful like woo-hoo quality that's happening in the body. And then for me, that's part of then what ignites the play. There's so much aliveness, joy, creative possibilities. And then it's like, okay, what are we going to do with this? And then how much fun could we have? It's just sort of the water I swim in.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, just in general, just see if you can find one place in the body that feels pleasurable. It doesn't have to necessarily be named sexual, but just where's the pleasure in the body? It could just be a tiny little spot, or you could feel something like for me right now, there's like a tickle in my chest. I feel some bubbly kind of champagne bubbles coming up through my spine. Feels like it's coming up through floating out of the top of my head. I feel some warmth in my feet. It's pleasurable. And so just starting to put your attention on pleasure itself.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so for me, yes feels very sexual. I feel turned on. And so I think there are a lot of people who put that away for good reasons along the way. And so one of the things that I think is important is for people to start coming back and tuning back into letting themselves be a sexual being, letting themselves have sensations that feel igniting. And that doesn't have to mean that you want to go have sex or do they're very different things. I know a lot of people are in sex without sexual feelings. So they're separate. But there's, I want to invite people to feel how good you can feel in the body.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When you were talking earlier about not sure you know about that yes, you think maybe you'd like to have more of that. One thing I would say is I think yeses are very they're about igniting our creative energy and our creative energy is very connected to our sexual energy.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It makes sense to me that you might not have the whole light up. Some people do have this zing, you know, that they feel is a yes, but some people don't. And so just trust your own version of it. So you'll just know, oh, my yes is just is without the reactive patterns I notice in my body when the no is here.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then I would say your yes is a void of those sensations. So let that be what it is. Let yourself go. That is a whole body, yes. My whole body, yes, is a void of those no sensations. That's enough. Don't you don't need to make it any more than that.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Saving moment that they went. And intellectually, I had some data, but my body was the one that really guided me to be aggressive in getting that person support.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then let's choose 6 30. So that's a way to do it. And then what you'll notice is, at least for me, I really liked the results. I kept creating in these simpler options. And then I just kept using it more and more. So with more important decisions. And then now the biggest decisions, this is something I choose regularly. And I've learned to trust it so that I had a client who I thought was in trouble in another country and I contacted the family and said, I think you need to go help this person. And they're like, you want us to leave and go check on this family member? And I said, my body was shaking with clarity about it. My head was like, I don't know. I couldn't tell you for sure, but my body knew. And they went and it turned out it was a really could have been a life.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I'd recommend starting out using it in really simple ways. So start with looking at a menu. And as you're looking at the menu, just notice like does that fidgety come in when you look at the sandwich versus the sandwich and see if you can start to see what yes feels like or you're driving back home and you've got a couple of different routes to take home, try on, okay, I'm going to go this way and notice what happens in the body versus I go this way. So you're just going to make this a practice for things that don't have a lot of meaning that you know it's not a big deal. And then as you can also do it with time, let's say you're thinking about gathering up with a group of friends and they say what time, try on like, okay, well, what if we met at five and just notice what happens in the body when I try five and then 530 and 6 and 6 30 and just see if you've got like a place where your body starts to hum like oh wow 630 that's where it really hits”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hear those sounds. You're going to check and see what's a subtle no feel like for you. Do you experience that scene? What do you notice in the body? How does it vibrate here Does energy flow? Not flow? Is there a difference in temperature? Parts of the body light up, sensations. Tones or visuals as well. Trying on here, and again, if you don't notice much, that's okay. Just imagine if you did notice, what would you notice? This is your map for what a subtle no feels like. You want to remember this feeling so that the next time somebody says, Hey, you want to go out to lunch, or could you meet me to talk about ABC, if you feel this, likely it's an invitation for you to try no? You can shake that one off, and then we'll bring our attention back to the ongoing conversation. How is that for you, Tim?”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The ears or visuals in your mind's eye may also be included. You're getting a map for what no, this is a big no. Uh uh, I don't want this. Think this is going to serve me just mapping the territory in the body for what does this feel like? Take one last picture of that and shake that one off. And then we've got one more to do. And this is the subtle no. This is similar to what I was just describing earlier of taking a meeting. You know, it didn't kill me to take the meeting. It didn't hurt. It lasted 10 minutes and I got off the phone. But I don't, it wasn't a yes. It wasn't an alive experience for me This is called a subtle no. So, I want you to think back everybody's got in the last two to four weeks something that's happened in which it was an wasn't bad, wasn't good. If you can come back and see that scene in your mind's eye.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so then I'd like you to take one last memory, take a memory shot of this so you can remember what this feels like. And then I'd like you to shake it off and let it go. Then, I want you to think of a scene in the past that you don't want to repeat. And I don't recommend finding something traumatizing. Find something that you really didn't feel like was a good use of your time, didn't serve you, you don't want to repeat it ever again, or you prefer not to. You can bring that image to mind. See the visuals of that memory and hear the sounds. Want you to notice what happens now in the body. There are different way that bodies vibrating? How is the direction of energy flowing or not flowing in this version? Difference in temperature. Other significant sensations or shapes you feel in the inner on the body. And again, tones.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some of you might go, Diane, I'm not feeling anything here. That's fine. Just imagine if you were feeling something. Let it be okay that it might feel like pretend just for now. Is there a certain temperature that you notice in the body? Some people, they might feel very specific sensations. It might feel like shapes inside the body Some people might be auditory and hear tones. Visuals in their mind's eye You're doing here is getting a map of what a whole body yes feels like. Just strolling around inside of the body feeling what you're feeling, no right or wrong answers here. And everybody's so unique. We all have our own different ways we feel it. For me, my body gets warm. There's an uprising of energy. It flows up for me. A push in the flow for me, but yours will be what it is”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was something that was nurturing. It was something you would gratefully repeat that scene again. It could be a time when you were celebrated. It could be a time when you were in a highly creative state that made something valuable. It could be a time when you were in nature feeling deeply centered. I'd like you to go back into that scene as best you can. The images of that scene. Hear the sounds As you're in that scene, I want you to start to pay attention to the body See if you can notice just simply how the body is vibrating right now. You imagine yourself in that scene, seeing those images. The sounds. How does your body vibrate? Is there a particular direction in which energy is flowing through the body?”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let's have the call. And indeed, it was a sales call and it was not a good use of my time. And I quickly hung up. That was a time in which I skipped over my no because it was very subtle and my intellect started to get worried like what if I'm missing something and what if you don't know so I use this all the time and I'm still learning as I did just last week to pay attention to the intelligences that are outside of just my intellect. And so for you all, if you want to learn more about this, what I'd like you to do is close your eyes. And I'd like you to bring to mind an experience from the past that was deeply valuable to you.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so the idea is that your body knows when there's a no, when there's a yes, and when there's what I'm going to call a subtle no. And we say anything other than a whole body yes is a no. And to your point, it's easy to hear those screaming no's, but not so easy to hear the subtle no. For example, someone contacted our organization the other day and he wanted to talk. And it wasn't clear to me whether he was trying to sell us something or whether he genuinely had clients that he wanted to connect us with. And even in my, I had suspicions that it wasn't as clean as he was suggesting and I asked for clarification and his clarification still, I couldn't really tell. But my body did know, I felt this flat feeling in my body when I thought about having the call. And unfortunately, my head said, well, maybe you're not sure.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Should we do that? It's very experiential, so it'll take about 10 minutes, and I'll have people if they're listening, I'd recommend they close their eyes.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I could have people if we wanted to go through an experience of starting to feel what their whole body, yes, and those feels like.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure. The idea is that we have these different centers of intelligence. So we have our head, our heart, our gut, and IQ EQBQ are some of the ways we might be describing those things these days. So body intelligence is a recognition that I have an instinctual awareness that is known by my sensations, known by how the body feels and that there's a lot actually there that if we start to drop into the body and pay attention, it's got a lot of guidance for us, as does our emotions, as does our intellect. And so I do have a ton of access to my body intelligence. I think it's what I lead with in my own getting clarity about which directions to go in my life. And I put a lot of attention on it. So it's very. Palpable to me. My body screams often, you know, no, don't do that, even though my intellect might have an understanding of why.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, let me do both. So, the reason why it's called the drama triangle is because the whole triangle is set up for a nana. It's, I'm right, you're wrong, you're to blame, or I'm to blame. It's not asking everybody to really take 100% responsibility for how they're co-creating experiences. So if I'm in the drama triangle, the villain, if I'm taking on, I'm more responsible, what happens is I'll say, oh, I'm here at the meeting, you guys. And look, it's my fault. I'll take some of your responsibility and take it all on me. And so there is a place to say, hey, I have a part in how I've co-created this. Let me tell you my part. That would be me taking my 100%. I would also know that everybody else has a part to play too. So I'm not taking on their responsibility as well. That's the difference between a villain and somebody who's just simply acknowledging”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And nothing ever really changes. So the key thing is temporary relief. So we all know the story about you can give the man a fish every night or you could teach him to fish for himself. So the hero gives the man the fish night after night after night. And if you're off the drama triangle, you shift to a place where you see people as empowered and the hero asks good questions to help people get more effective around them.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So oh my God, I had such a hard day to day at work. Let me come home. I'm going to drink my alcohol or do my gaming or get lost in Netflix or whatever I'm going to do to give myself some temporary relief. And it works. But I got to do it again tomorrow because tomorrow I'm going to come home potentially burn out again. And then I'm going to have to do the same pattern. So heroing is temporary relief over and over again. So I can hero myself. I could hero another, you know, oh, you look like you're struggling at work and let me take over some of your work that you're doing. I could do that from a place of real presence. But when I'm a hero doing it, I'm actually creating some codependence where I keep needing you to not be able to handle your work so I can keep helping and then I'll resent you over time. And then we can hero them. You know, there's lots of philanthropies, especially in the past, they're getting better at this now where we just throw a bunch of money at a population and then next year they have all the same issues and they need more money.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, right. Who's screwing it up? Who's wrong? Yeah, you don't know. You're wrong. I'm right. And so the last role in the drama triangle is the hero. It's also called the reliever or the rescuer. And the hero's job is to seek temporary relief.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“More prepared, or any should have over here on me, or I'm not smart enough, or I can't count on myself. That's all villaining toward myself, or we can villain toward another, you, you're the reason why I'm not having as much fun as I could be having, or we could be a villain to a group of people, which is very popular in our culture. So we all know who's screwing it up for the rest of us. You know, it's that group over there and everybody's pointing to particular groups who are the bad guys. So Billen's very popular because it gets our adrenaline really kicking in.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so Cartman says many of us got trained to live in a state of victimhood. And there are three unique flavors of victimhood in the drama triangle. We call them bases. So the first base is the pure victim and the pure victim. You know, it's so hard here. I'm trying. I don't know. It's just any kind of a help. You know, it's got this very disempowered feeling. And it's somehow like they've got the power. Somebody else has it, not me. And I'm very at the effect of things. So I could be at the effect of my bank account, at the effect of this email that just came in, at the effect of the traffic, at the effect of the new policy ongoing back to work, at the effect of COVID, all those things are forms of being a victim. Then the next role in the drama triangle is the villain, and the villain's job is to blame. So I can blame me. God, I should have known that or I should have been.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“First of all, I learned about this thing called the drama triangle. Which many people out there may have heard about I realized my whole life is running around on this drama triangle. And the drama triangle was created by Stephen Cartman back in the 70s, and he Defined ways in which human beings get caught in victimhood. Create reactivity. And I realized I'm on the triangle most of the time. And there is a big cost to me and my people when I'm on the drama triangle. Was the wake up call for me, and then I just Everyday sense. Looking for all the tools I can for how to keep myself out of that triangle as much as possible.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Actually, they gave us five grand. He said, You can do whatever you want with the money, but I'm going to recommend you go out to California. So I joyfully could not wait to go. I didn't know anything about them But he said they're the best. So off we went. And it was a profoundly life changing week. And I thought to myself, Why am I just learning these tools? And I'm going to devote the rest of my life and making sure people get access to them. And that's what I've done.”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so it is true. I was the quintessential stay at home mom, all things being with my kids, being part of the school, you know, head of the PTA, all that good stuff. And I Was though very interested in personal development, spirituality, human consciousness that was always in the background Was very devoted to my children. I was teaching scrapbooking to other moms. I mean, I was so cute. It was really cute. And my brother in law was a top CEO in the country, and he was very, very devoted to personal development. And he was a connoisseur of finding great coaches. And I think the truth was that he and my sister-in-law were concerned about my marriage and wondered if we were going to make it. And so they recommended that we go out to California and take a training with Gay and Kathleen Hendricks of the Hendrix Institute. And so”
2024-05-24 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #740: Greg McKeown and Diana Chapman · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT