YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr. Paul Conti

lines on the record: 116
first: 2024-03-21
most recent: 2024-03-21
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Oh, well, you are very welcome and thank you for those kind words which I take to heart, and thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Another's where was born and raised. I think there were a lot of good people in a lot of forward movement, but we maybe could have looked around ourselves a little bit more and there'd be several people maybe still here as opposed to not being here and people being healthier. And I think I probably had it in me to look around myself more than I did at that time. And I do sometimes feel, I will feel regrets about that.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm happy I got myself on a path that's led to places that feel good and that I think are generative and productive. I wish I had more attention to the bigger picture when I was significantly younger. Think I would have made better decisions. I think I would have seen pathways that led away from health and happiness and maybe seen that in others too.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, I think I should have Paid more attention to the To the world around me when I was Younger and more lost in trying to feel good enough at the moment. And I think that it Made it harder to sort of find my path. And I think it made it harder. I think my brother hadn't found his path. And I think there was a lot of frantic anxiety or fear driven forward movement without pausing in circumspection. And it may be that we just talked about, and we've talked about his suicide, and we've talked about that in this podcast. So it's kind of at the forefront of my memory. But when I think back then, I probably knew well enough to be more circumspect, including about what might have been going on in him or in me.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think it does. I mean, I like to think of myself as a diligent person who wants to continue working at things and moving them forward and seeing where they can go. And I think at some point in time, I realized I had the capacity to perhaps reach people who reach a lot of other people. And there's been a real joy. I think that people who have who are public facing, I mean, there are a lot of stresses to that. People can think, oh, it seems so wonderful from the outside, but there's a lot of extra stress to that from the inside. So to be able to address some of the extra complexity of that and to be able to help people who have a big impact on the world around them was sort of a joy to pursue.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But in order to change our lives, we have to do that. And she also did that. It's a very, very human story. And I think a deeply feeling person who then wants to bring that message forward to others that we can change trauma. And I'm so grateful she wrote the forward to my book, but part of that is she believes in that message that trauma does not have to control us. We can understand it. We can get our arms around it. And I think that's what she is what she's communicating in that quote. That's the part of that quote that's important. The part that's about everyone reading it and the capacity for change.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She has talked about those trauma in her life and to gain an understanding, a much better understanding and be able to ground to the things about her that are wonderful. And she's a wonderful person. There's wonderfulness in us no matter who we are. And I think from the perspective of her on such a big world stage, acknowledging the trauma and the humanness in her and that like anyone else, she needed some understanding, she needed some help forward in different pathways of thought about self. Like the kind of thing any of us need after trauma. And she had the bravery, the fortitude to take chances to be different, just like someone would say, oh, I can't be any different. We can all feel that when we have a lot of trauma inside of us. And it's hard to think I'm going to really try and be different. I'm going to take that.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you. My first thought is she's eloquent and generous of spirit, and I so appreciate that she wrote such lovely words and I so appreciate that. Thank you.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, right. Look, that's how it goes. When a person is navigating through trauma and really getting through, like getting over a lot of difficult things and getting to a much better place Strong this imprints us that this is still going to come to my head. Today's going to come into my head like I'm having a bad day or I drop something in the morning and I don't feel great about myself. This stuff is very, very powerful, but still not telling me truth. You know, that shoulder shrug about it. Okay, it's going to come into your head. It was neuronally reinforced and sometimes you'll be having a bad day and it'll come in. It doesn't mean anything.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, the question is how much does it trigger? How much does it trigger? The idea is to attenuate the response to it. So if it was a car accident and every time the person looks at a car, they have a panic attack, right? It's probably not going to happen that someday they look at a car and don't even remember, right? But they can look at a car and like they know they had a car accident. They're not trying to hide it from themselves. Oh my God, I can't see a car. I had a car accident. It triggers me. I'm understanding that. I understand the naturalness of the responses in me and how they got, maybe were perpetuated by the fear that I felt. And I wasn't working through it or working through the loss that happened. Now that I'm understanding that more, I don't have to be afraid of this. So I see a car in this, it makes me kind of uncomfortable, but it's okay.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If it's as if it were true, is it true? Our brain can't tell the difference now. So if we understand that and now we want to change it, like I know why I said that because when I was growing up, that parent, a person always said that to me over and over and over. And then I chose bad relationships because I didn't think I was worth anything better and they didn't go well and it reinforced that to me. Like a person really understands that we bring that understanding to bear in a way that you speak against that when it comes into your mind because we can't make it not come into your mind. It can atrophy mean this process of slowly over time it goes away. But we have to say the whole meet the judge in the middle of all the opinions has to say, okay, I know I'm saying this to myself, right? But do I believe that or not?”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It gets less and less powerful over time. So if you don't keep saying that word, you know, it comes to mind maybe 10 times the next day, five the second day, three times then not again. But this is how processes of change work inside of us. So someone who has, for example, had self-talk in them said, oh, it'll never work out for me. Like, I suck and no one likes me or, you know, I'm terrible or how could you, idiot, or, you know, things like I had a shadow voice saying these things to me for years, like that doesn't want to go away at once because it's just habituated inside of us. So we have to realize that is not real and true. That is not what I think or what I want to say to myself. So I want to know when it's there. I want to realize I'm saying this to myself and I don't believe it. Then we make it less strong, right? We make it less strong. Every time we say something that's a negative lie to ourselves, like no one will ever love me, right? People say that to themselves over and over. We make that more powerful as if it were true.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, we are creatures of neuronal habit. So if you think the example I give us is, let's say you and I just picked a word, random word, and we said it 500 times, right? We'd each be saying it this evening. Let's say we say 2,000 times. You know, give it a couple days. It's still there on the mind. Why? Even when we know it's a silly example, why would it still stay with us? Because when we say that word so many times, we're strengthening memory connections. That word comes to mind more. It's stronger within us. And then the only way it goes away is it atrophies over time. You know, is you can't just make that go away after you said it a couple thousand times. It'll go away.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“misery, and she had no thought or idea that she could be like she was before because all she knew was that things had changed and now she was like this and this was Not okay and never going to change. But she was willing to see the starkness of the change and to hear my observations and examples like, look, I see something here that's looking from the outside that's really striking and that we could think about and talk about and understand and like changed her entire life. And it really is true that 10 years later she looked 10 years younger. Absolutely.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There are a lot I could cite, but the one that comes to mind is the one story in my book that is just an amazing story of a person who had had a trauma in her life that had just changed everything, mood, anxiety, behavior, choices in the world, so much had gone in a way that was not how this woman was built to live her life or how she was living her life. And it was so striking, her telling me about who she was at some point in the past and contrasting that to how she was living and how she thought about herself. And it was really a night and day difference. And it became clear there was a very abrupt change at the time of this trauma, like a night and day change towards dysfunction, poor health, poor social function.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I might try and get at you through the science, right? I might try and get it you through that article something that can like let you see that or I might try and get at it through examples of, hey, here's like people do change. Like here's kind of really what the state of the art is now. And like, can I get you excited about that?”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm a huge believer in the power of knowledge, in the power of information, which I think goes back to how powerless I felt as a kid when we couldn't understand medical information. It's like, I want to know, I want to understand. And I think I think a lot of people are like this. I think we as humans don't get enough credit that we want to understand. And I think so much in our society is reflexive. Like, you know what you know and you feel how you feel. And then, you know, we have a whole set of beliefs about the world because we affiliate with some group or another, right? I think that's a reaction to feeling so disempowered and that what we really want is knowledge. And I think that's a reason why, for example, knowledge imparting podcasts are so valued because you're not trying to tell people what to do or how to think, but you're giving them, bringing them knowledge. And that's what I try and do like, I know that's not true. Now, it may be that if you're a science-based or a rational person or you're an engineer or an accountant who's like,”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, so there are probably or almost surely a couple of factors. One is it's hard enough to take care of ourselves. You know, even when things are going really well, right? I mean, life is so busy and so stressful. So it's hard to take care of oneself. If a person adds trauma to the mix, it becomes harder to take care of oneself. And one way we can not take care of ourselves is, you know, what we're eating and whether we're exercising. So the trauma makes it harder to take care of ourselves and predisposes to poor self-care. Now we have a person who's overweight and then maybe pushing towards diabetes or heart disease or cardiovascular or cerebrovascular disease and also just like we talked about epigenetics and changes in gene transcription and what genes are active in us trauma puts us in a place where we are more inflammatory within us like there are more inflammatory markers in our”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And do its thing. And while we realize this, we can start talking about the trauma. And maybe the person can process some of the trauma. Now the sleep problem is gone. Everything is better. The person's not going to be on a sleep medicine for the next 20 years. It's healthier. It's safer. But we have to be more than reflexive. There are a lot of reasons people don't sleep.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We should be asking why is it that you are not sleeping? And maybe it came out of the blue. Maybe, maybe your sleep system every now and then fails you. But when we start asking those questions, we get answers. And more often than not, those answers are in the realm of trauma. Then the person does not get a trauma medicine. They may get a different medicine that in the short term can quiet the vigilance systems. We do this a lot where the person has a sleeping problem. We learn the trauma history. We use a short course of a medicine that calms the vigilance systems. It has nothing to do with making the person sleep, and then they start sleeping well. And maybe this is true. They might not have slept well with five, six, ten sleeping medicines, but that is not the medicine that they need. They need a medicine to calm these distress systems inside of us so that the sleep system, which is not damaged, can go.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What's going on, and I can't settle down, and my sleep system can't overcome it. You know, if you give me a sleeping medicine for that, I'm probably going to need a lot of it, right? Because we're trying to make the sleep system overcome the distress. I'm more likely to get addicted to it. I mean, there's a lot of bad we do to people, and I never have an opportunity to address my problem.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sleep underlies so much, and because we, when we have a lot of hammers in medicine, so we see a lot of nails. So if someone is not sleeping, the reflex in medicine, and not everyone does this, and I'm not trying to say they're all physicians or practitioners or not behaving in the right way, but we work in systems that are high volume and design for throughput. So they're designed for symptom identification. So what we say is, okay, you're not sleeping. So we'll give you sleeping medicine. Like that simple. But the reasons people are not sleeping are very, very often not related to their sleep systems. They're related to these vigilance and activation systems inside of us. If that's what's going on in me and I'm agitated and have this highly aroused state after trauma, and maybe it's been going on for two weeks or maybe it's been going on but getting worse for two years.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Being unhealthy and it spreads, and this is part of the epidemic aspect of this. And then people often don't know why things are different in their sleep, but a lot of the time, if you stop and you think and you talk about what's going on inside of them, they will tell you. And it may be that for the first time they're telling themselves, which is why we should ask ourselves this question.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure, sometimes people are aware, and sometimes they are not. Sometimes they ask a person why aren't you sleeping well the last four months, which seems like a good question to ask instead of just giving the person a sleeping medicine. But in modern medicine, sometimes the question doesn't get asked. But maybe the answer is some really different trying to fall asleep. And like, I just don't feel peaceful anymore. But the person has not thought of that until you ask them. Then what's the logical next question? Why? What happened when anything changed around then? And a lot of times you get an answer and that person is a trauma problem, not a sleep problem. You can probably pound the sleep system to sleep with medicine, but now we're doing something that ultimately is harmful for the person. So yes, and also when you talk about avoidance behaviors of sleep, this is also why the person can avoid avoid, avoid, and then have three or four drinks to get to sleep, right? So there's so much that is unhealthy that then perpetuates.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely as here's a new describing how the downstream effect of all of this are tremendous, so absolutely yes. So we're saying getting less sleep is just bad for us from head to toe. Okay, and also there's all the things that you're talking about. So if you know you're going to try and sleep and it's going to be just going over and over again in your head and it might be, I'm not safe or I'm going to get fired or I'm going to get hurt or it may just be something that's simple and negative that you don't even relate to trauma. Like, oh, this is awful. I mean, these are things that go over and over again in people's heads when they're trying to sleep. Like, I'm not okay. What's going to happen? And it's going over and over again. So of course, you're going to want to distract from that.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So sleep is one of the symptoms of a post-trauma syndrome. It's not in all post-trauma syndrome, so higher anxiety, lower mood, behavioral changes, sleep is one of these factors, and sleep is very often negatively impacted by trauma. So the changes you had asked about in the brain, and then we talk about how they go more towards vigilance, more towards activation, they make it harder for the brain to settle down and be in a restorative state. So sometimes we get called ruminative, where there are just thought loops going on inside of us, and the brain doesn't want to quiet.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“we heal from trauma that ultimately invisible epidemic is a message of warning but it's not a negative or a pessimistic message it's a positive message if we understand this and we look at it well guess what happens is we get better we prevent trauma we take care of the trauma in ourselves and others and we get healthier like i see this play out in 25 years of doing this like this is what happens but we only get there if we have the curiosity we we you know we're interested and we know enough to go looking and thinking and making a narrative and you know talking about ourselves wanting things to be different and knowing that they can be so it's a message of hope because when we do that we really see change so clinically when doing this work you see a lot of difference in people and that's part of what's been so heartening and led me to write the book is it's not just a message of oh this is what's going on with us let's take a look at it this is what's going on with us”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Naturalness that they are, but it doesn't tell them truth, right? It's just telling them how they feel. And in fact, it comes from compassionate places inside of us. We can help to unwind that before it becomes a thing inside the person that, yes, may make life less enjoyable or may also, in a way that's worse, push towards repeated trauma. So the trauma of choosing the same unhealthy partner or the same abusive partner over and over is an example of what you're saying. If a person doesn't look at the trauma and like, why am I doing this? What am I trying to solve here? I'm trying to solve something maybe from childhood that was somebody else's shortcoming or fault or something else's shape. Okay, I can stop doing that. Then the person can stop with repeating the behavior. So the answer to all, I think the answer to what you're asking is absolutely yes. And if we're curious and we strive for understanding ourselves and we know that there are routes to change, this is how...”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, it can be. I mean, in the case of the person who now finally puts words to something they've held inside of them that they would know is not shameful to anyone else, but they hold is shameful for them. What is going on inside of them may or may not have caused further trauma? It's caused suffering. There's no doubt about that. When a person is saying that and they're putting words to something that's so important has been inside of them, it has caused them suffering. So they haven't been as happy as they could be. Enjoyed life as much as they could be, been as outgoing as they can be, been depressed when maybe they didn't have to be depressed. So the trauma is impacting them because they've hit it down inside, right? If you can talk about it and bring light to it, let's say after that thing that happened when the person was assaulted at five years old or survived an accident and others didn't, if someone did trauma work with them of, hey, what are you feeling now? Okay, let's get to the fact that person is feeling guilt and shame.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because they've held so long inside of them that it is shameful that they were assaulted. It is shameful that they survived, that it's so dangerous to even utter it, the fear of how a person will react that someone is surprised like, wow, you could hear that or they say it in ways and kind of step back a little bit because there's such an expectation of rejection, whereas what the person is telling me is something that from any reasonable human being would only elicit compassion. Now that person who's telling me would only ever be compassionate to someone saying that, but they're not compassionate to themselves.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It plays for most of us in most cases, it plays a very big role because the reflex to the trauma is guilt and shame and the reflex to the guilt and shame is to hide it inside. What we are doing is cutting ourselves off from the human contact that we need in order to process what has gone on with us. So very many times over 25 years of being a psychiatrist, I've sat with someone who is putting words to their trauma for the first time. When I was five years old, I was assaulted in that way. This coach did this to me when I was a certain age. I was hurt this way and I'm the only one who survived and my two buddies died. These are real things that I have heard people say and then be shocked that I, the other human in the room, don't. Recoil from that.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Post traumatic stress. I mean, that, I think, captures very clearly what the impressions and perspectives of the people around us mean. There may be a reflexive guilt and shame from trauma, but that doesn't have to win the day. But it was much more likely to win the day if there's a sense of otherness because now we're talking about the same thing of feeling less than chronically by society for some reason makes that person more susceptible. So that person who's been through combat trauma and then comes back and does not receive a hero's welcome is put at much, much greater risk for the brain changes of post-trauma syndromes.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Look at the difference in the United States between veterans coming back from World War II and veterans coming back from Vietnam. There was far more post-trauma syndromes, post-traumatic stress disorder after Vietnam because people were not coming home to a hero's welcome. The thought there would be they had gone out like the person who goes out into the Serengeti to hunt the lion is to save everybody else is that's what was going on when people went to fight in World War II and when people went to fight in Vietnam. But when people came back from World War II and they'd been hurt, they were treated as heroes. They were treated with respect. And that allows a person to shoulder that trauma without the brain changes happening. When people came back from Vietnam and were treated differently, which didn't happen to everyone, but it happened as a societal phenomenon that was a terrible thing for the veterans who came back, you saw much greater rates of”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So that is different. That's a situation where the person is approaching the trauma on the front foot. And then when you return back, the thought would be you would be respected and cared for. You went out to do something for everyone and got hurt. That is very different than how people normally would experience their trauma, which is when there isn't a sense of pride and self-sacrifice behind it. So if the person, let's say you're walking out in the Serengeti at night and you shouldn't be, then you should feel bad about that, right? Then the thought would be, yeah, I shouldn't have been doing that and how bad you feel about it will make you not do it again. So you're not going to get killed, right? And then you're going to come back and talk about that or people are going to go, what were you doing? And well, you should have been out there. And like they made it feel bad that you got hurt. But like, there's then an experience that is a deterrent to others doing that too.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Maybe it's a little different. If you were out, okay, let's say you're out and you're actually hunting a lion in the service of everyone else, and then you are attacked and hurt, that's different because you're doing something then to feel proud of.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“shame goes where it makes sense to go. That's very, very effective of processing food. So, okay, so this thing happened. You can process through with someone how they felt and what was going on inside of them. Maybe they're in an ambulance or a hospital and they're filled with shames. They realize what has happened to them. And then that was a terrible state to be in. But then they start trying to make meaning of that state. And we can go back to, oh, that's a natural, completely understanding human state to be in after this happened. But now you get to decide what that means.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because it doesn't start with the thought of it. Because you're right. Because what you're saying, I think, is basically it makes no logical sense. Why would you feel ashamed of yourself if someone else came up behind you and jumped you and did something awful to you? Why would you feel ashamed of yourself? But the person doesn't get there by thought. I didn't get to feeling ashamed of myself after losing my brother by suicide by thinking that is a shameful thing. I should feel ashamed. No, the shame is aroused in us. It's created in us because its behavior modifying there's the adaptive, something bad has happened, feels something inside that creates aversion. The shame is created in us and then we make the meaning of it. I feel ashamed. The shame inside, I mean, then we make the meaning of right because I shouldn't have been there when that happened. And then we make a story around it. It starts with the limbic system, with the affect, and then we build a story around it, which is why we can build a difference story where, for example,”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To keep us alive, like now you feel shame, you will not forget to not do that anymore, right? Like it's again, have an impression. It's going to change you because you feel so much shame, which we would think should be the case in the case in the modern world too, right? There are things people do that are shameful, that are worth feeling shame about. I mean, sometimes the problem is we don't have enough shame where we should.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I imagine that in the old days, you know, someone who's on the food in the cave instead of going outside, you know, and like now puts the whole tribe at risk. And then there's a sense of shame that comes to that person. Like, you can't do that anymore. And the person feels bad and never does that again. And it's adaptive for the group, right? It's just one example of how shame can alter behavior.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly the same with the Limbic question. No, we kind of need shame, but we need shame for good reason, right? So these primary affects that are very primordial in us, anger, fear, love, shame. These are things that are just aroused in us. Like they can become other things once we start thinking about them, but they're states that are very deep within us. They all have a survival adaptation. So feeling love is being more than one. If we love someone, now you are two. And you're there with one another. And that's going to help you survive and make your way forward in life. Love is adaptive. Fear can be very adaptive that now you're in a fight or flight state. You're trying to survive and get through life. Shame is the same way. There are things that people do that bring shame that change behavior. Shame changes behavior a lot. It feels so bad. So, you know, I give the example of...”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, sure, the limbic system isn't against us. All these parts of our brain, none of them hate us. They're all part of us. And some of the research and observations through the psychedelics. So the negative has much more salience in us and makes these lessons never go near that thing again, never go near that person again, never do this again. They're designed to keep us alive, but we're trying to do more than that, right? We're trying to do more than stay alive. And these systems in us that evolve to keep us safe then can very much work against us. The person who's traumatized because someone attacks them and that system gives them panic attacks if they leave the front door. I mean, that person's brain trying to keep them safe.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because the limbic system, if it needs to feel different, it needs, so to speak, to solve that trauma by gaining mastery, it's going to go look for the seventh person who's just like the first six. But once we take the energy, we lance the abscess, so to speak, of the trauma, then logic can have its say. And that person who says, you can't help me because the last eight relationships were all awful sees, oh, I did the same things, chose the same person the last eight relationships. That's one paradigm, and I'm changing it now. And then things are different when they thought they couldn't be because they can see now what they couldn't see before, the limbic system isn't ruling the day anymore. There's a whole balanced brain that has an understanding of self and uses that understanding to move forward in life.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So the limbic system is the name for the emotion systems in the brain. So we're simplifying a little bit, but the idea that there are logic systems and emotion systems, the emotion systems are limic. Those are the limbic systems. And they never lose when they come face to face with logic. The limbic, the emotional, always rules the logic if the two come head to head, which is why the emotion of trauma, the fear of being less than the need to repair something that was unfair in the past, if that is driving us, logic will not have its say. Logic would say if you've dated six people who've all kind of seen the same at the outset and then all behaved in the same negative way, don't choose a seventh like that. I mean, logic very, logic was saying that at the second person, let alone the third, the fourth, the fifth. Why do we see repetition of unhealthy relationships?”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Also takes inside of us the idea that we are less than, that there is something magical that is bad and negative, and what we need to strive against is exactly that, that something may have happened that we might say, okay, that person is a victim in the eyes of the law. They were assaulted, right? But that doesn't mean that person has to take victimness inside guilt and shame. How many people have I seen who are assaulted? And they talk about how they're ashamed of it and it's their fault. Someone else attacked them. But the reflexive guilt and shame of trauma can lead us to feel less than, then we start feeling like victims, then we feel less than, we embrace this and we don't need someone to persecute us anymore.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure, there's no internalized victim without an internalized persecutor. So if someone is victimized in the sense of the law, someone has done something bad to that person, that doesn't mean that person takes inside of them that they are a victim, right? But trauma can make us feel like victims after the loss of my brother when I felt like maybe we're cursed and I can't really get anywhere in the world. Like there's a black magic to that, right? Then I still feel like I'm a victim of something. I'm behind the eight ball. Then I have a sense of otherness, right? And now I've taken something inside of myself where we don't need a persecutor anymore. I feel like I'm less than. So how's that going to go well? Right. So what we end up doing is we take inside of us sometimes this sense of victimness, but that”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The person is trying to make sense of something and there's some desperation inside to feel better about themselves and to fix and heal something. Whereas why if we can intercede there and say the problem is if you want someone who's attentive, choose people who are attentive to someone who's attentive, right? As opposed to choose someone who's not attentive and try and make them attentive.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Or just someone who is inattentive or isn't interested. The person is trying to feel better about something from the past. So if the father was inattentive and that person has a romantic interest in men, that person may choose men who are inattentive with a desire to make them inattentive, to fix, to soothe the pain of the past, because the emotion systems in our brain don't care about the clock in the calendar. So you can solve the past in the present as far as the emotion systems are concerned. And if the trauma is very strong in us, the emotion systems will rule the day. So they said the father was violent, then maybe that person chooses a violent significant other, right? And then that relationship goes away and the person chooses another violent significant other. And then sometimes the thought is, oh, the person is choosing that because that's what they're comfortable with. But no.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right. That gets complicated what sometimes people will talk about as repetition compulsions are quite complicated. Often what a person is doing then is trying to gain a sense of mastery over a situation in which they had no control. So you will see this in abusive relationships where sometimes a person will come and say, Okay, I'm coming to see you, but I know you can't help me. My last eight relationships have been just awful. So how can you possibly help me? And then I might say something like, if you can tell me how you had eight different relationships that didn't go well, maybe I'll believe you. But you're going to tell me about the same relationship eight times over. Something along those lines because we repeat things that don't go well in an effort to gain a sense of control. So what often is the case in that kind of situation is whether it's repeating an abuse cycle.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I took that lesson inside because someone else made a choice that was about them and not me. No four-year-old is responsible for apparent leaving. But I took something in that was different and it's really affected me and I kind of feel differently about myself. It's not that everything instantaneously changes, but boy, the world is different then.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, absolutely yes. And the earlier in life, the more powerful the lesson is. And the brain doesn't go back and revisit those lessons. So I think this is so amazing and surprising to me that our brains are so incredibly complex, right? More complex than the greatest supercomputer, right? Yet our brains don't do some very basic things. Like we don't reboot and see, is there a patch or is there something to fix? We don't go back and look at these earlier lessons. So if you learn at age four, oh, men don't love me. That's a hard lesson to unlearn because it gets solidified at an early age. And then once those lessons are there, there's an internalized danger to go revisit them. Like if you go revisit that lesson, could you be disappointed? Right. The thought is that's the way it is. And that's the way it's going to be. Like that's kind of how.”
2024-03-21 · The Diary of a CEO · The Childhood Trauma Doctor: Your Childhood Trauma Changes The Shape Of Your Brain & Causes Parkinson's! How Not To Ruin Your Kids! Dr. Paul Conti · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT