YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr Rena Malik

lines on the record: 133
first: 2024-04-01
most recent: 2024-04-01
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Thank you. I would just say that I always tell people because I mentor a lot of young medical students and I always tell young women that the number one most important decision you're going to make is who you choose as your partner. And that's because that person, whether it's obviously emotionally but also sexually, right? How they support you in your life is going to determine whether you're able to succeed or not. And I just was talking to another woman and, you know, she was like, my husband's wonderful. I was like, I'm not surprised. I was like, you don't get to be a successful woman and a happy, well-adjusted, successful woman unless you either are, you know, very happy being alone or you have an excellent partner to support you. Because if you have a toxic partner at home, it's not going to work.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My message is that sexual health is health and that we need to be prioritizing our sexual health and educate our young people about sex. Because I think the impacts of having negative sexual health or negative sexual encounters can be so dramatic in terms of physiologic outcomes, interpersonal outcomes, work productivity. I mean, it can be very far-reaching. And if we are able to educate and empower people, we can change the world.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, and so, like, if it's not urine, it's coming from the urethra, like it doesn't make sense. And so this is Dr. Barry Kamisorak, who has done a lot of research on orgasm. He said, you know, it may be water imbibition. So when you think of like fluid filling the walls of the uterus and the vagina during the process of arousal and that maybe during climax when you have actually contractions of that fluid, of those organs that occurs during climax, that it can actually release this fluid. I don't know. I think the jury remains out. I don't think we have a conclusive answer because the studies are not perfectly designed.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And squirting has been described as a clear, colorless, odorless fluid that's emitted from the urethra. When they've looked at analyses of these, they found that there is what we call PSA or prostate-specific antigen. Now that we think of traditionally as males, but the women's skins glands make it as well. Now, people are like, is it P, right? That's the big question. And so in the one study where they looked at the analysis, they found that it was there was like dilute urine. And then another study looked at like, okay, they scanned people before squirting and after and they scanned their bladders to see like, did the amount of urine change? And they said it did and now it's urine. But what we really don't know and what we, what the limitation is that you never, so women know when they squirt. Like they know it's not urine. So if you talk to enough women who are squirting, they'll be like, you know, it's not urine. I'm sure it's not urine. But where is that fluid coming from that? That's where the question comes.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, let's talk about it. So, this is important, and it's actually interesting. I just had a conversation with a researcher about this because it's so misunderstood and we still don't know. Like there's only been like three or four studies looking at female ejaculation squirting over the course of our history. There's different types of fluids the vagina makes. One is obviously lubrication. That's different and that can be very copious for some, not as copious for others. That's one type of fluid. The other type of fluid is female ejaculate. Now, female ejaculate is similar to male ejaculate. It comes from the Skeen's glands, that same female prostate. It is a small amount of like sort of sticky white fluid that women ejaculate. And so they will release that fluid and it's not like this copious amount of fluid that you're seeing on pornography. The next type of fluid is squirting.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I generally tell people if that's something you want, that's absolutely fine. But again, this is not a pathology or a bad thing. This is something that is more cosmetic.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Labioplasty is essentially taking the labia menora and making them a little shorter or smaller, depending on what your preference is. And labia has come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. What is that? It's the inner lips of the vagina. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Sometimes they will be lopsided, so one will be longer than the other, some will be longer, some will be smaller. And oftentimes we're seeing in pornographies really small labia menora. And so people will tend to feel like maybe they should look like that. Now, not everybody. Some people actually have discomfort. Their labia are so long that they cause friction or pain or discomfort. In those cases, it's absolutely reasonable. But just like people have insecurities about their genitalia when they're men, women also can have insecurities about their labia as women. And so labia plastics essentially making those smaller and more cosmetically appealing when women desire that. But I think the important thing to take home is they are so diverse. They're as diverse as your fingerprint. Your labia is unique to you and it is not, there's no script of what it should look like.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, they are. I mean, I think in general, like we're all, I mean, we're designed, right? The biggest thing that we need to do as a species is have children, right? That is like sort of the goal of life is to propagate our species. And so it would make sense that we would be designed to be able to do that easily.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I thought that was really interesting. Again, nothing you can control. These things are pregnetically determined to some degree. And in fact, you know, we talked about some trends. And while we've seen A sperm quality change over the last 50 years. We've also seen penile length change average over many last, I don't know the exact number, but 50 years. And they've actually seen penile length is increasing. And they think that this is because the onset of puberty is changing and boys are getting exposed to factors that are making them go through puberty earlier and hence they're getting more exposure to testosterone and they're developing longer penises. So sort of interesting theoretical thing. I don't know if that's true or not, but sort of what the theory is.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, there's one study. It's a Japanese study where they looked at only Japanese men. So there are some limitations, but essentially they measured all these body parts and PNL length. And what they found was that nose length was correlated with PNL length, not hand length or foot length”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Elastic, and so in those cases you can see a little bit of shortening. Now, people will also see shortening because they gain weight over the course of their lifetime. And as you gain weight, the penile is not shrinking, but the fat on the mons or the area right above the penis is sort of getting larger and obscuring how much penis length there is.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, not if you are healthy. So, in terms of how do we maintain our penal health, right? Your body does a really good job of trying to maintain penile health because over the course of a nighttime, men will get five to six erections, three to six erections over the course of the night. And that will happen, whether you have a sexual dream or not, whether you are sleeping in a certain way or not. It's because your body is sort of giving blood flow to the area periodically through the night, whether you're having sex, whether you're not, you're getting good oxygenated blood flow to the penis. Now, if you develop other conditions where you cannot get blood flow to the penis, like you get high blood pressure, you get diabetes, you get heart disease, and those arteries start getting narrowed, and then you stop getting nighttime erections, and you start having difficulty getting erections over time, the tissues can change and they can become what we call fibrotic, and they can become a little less spongy and less”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And in fact, some women may not even care what size your penis is. It's more of a societal thing that we talk about, right? Women joke about it, women talk about it. I mean, you can't go, you know, even I've accidentally made comments where I've been like, oh, that's great that he has a large piece. I'm like, well, I can't believe I just said that. Like, I'll say it and I'll be like, oh my God, I can't believe that came out of my mouth of all people. And I think it's just so ingrained in our brain to be like, oh, like to celebrate really well endowed organs when in reality it's not necessary and sometimes even painful.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of the male penis. And so generally speaking, women tend to want what is average or around average, right? And interestingly, there's a product that is available called Oh Nut, I'm not, I'm not sponsored by them or anything, but essentially for women who have pain with penetration with men who are too well endowed, the men actually wears it so that the entire phallus doesn't go in during sexual intercourse, but it's more comfortable for the partner. So we know that sometimes it can be really uncomfortable if it's too well endowed. And so I think ultimately while I understand that pornography has made people really self-conscious about the length of their penis, and I'm really sad about that because I think as we've talked about earlier, clitoral simulation is the easiest way for women to climax and you don't need penetration for that. So in order to have pleasure and give pleasure, you don't need a large penis.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And in fact, they were doing these surgeries and they realized that some people were actually unable to have sex with it because it was too girthy. So they wanted to then look at like, well, how do we determine the right size and length and girth of this neophalus so that we, you know, they can then have sex with it? So what they did was they looked at the top five to ten sex aids or toys that women are purchasing online. And you can imagine that when you think of a dildo, they can go from one, you know, all the way to like the largest thing you've ever seen and the girthiest thing you've ever seen to like a normal size. And so when you have the option to pick as many as you want, right? What do you pick? And so what they found was that women tend to pick the length of about six inches. But as you know, you're not putting the whole device in. There has to be a handle or something. So it's probably around what the normal size is. And the girth was also around the hour.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so most people think it should be about six inches. So, like we said, the average is around 5.1 to 5.3 inches. And so when you look at the data in terms of what people think it should be, men think it should be about six inches. In terms of women, where we found the data about what they prefer is sort of interesting. So now that we're having more surgeries for trans men, one of the surgeries that we do is a neophallus, is we create a new phallus. And one of the types of surgeries we do is we use a forearm flap.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A man's identity and how he feels about himself. And I wish we had something that was safe and easy for men to do, like we have breast implants, but we're not there yet, right? And so I just want people to be safe in terms of realizing what our limitations are at this time. And things may change over, you know, as people become more interested in this area.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, pumps are different. So pumps have not been shown to increase penalties. What a pump is essentially it's got a cylinder that you put your penis into and it uses sort of vacuum technology to sort of suck blood into the tissues. And then you put, if you're having issues with erectile function, you would then put a ring at the base of the penis to maintain the erection. These don't help with length. They've looked at them in those cases. They've also looked at surgeries and different types of things to increase penile length. And ultimately, many of them either have a very high complication rate or risks that I would say are probably not advisable for most people. I think that in terms of penile lengthening, people are always like, why would you want to do that? Why a lot of people will sort of poo-poo people who want to change the way their penis looks? And I've sort of evolved in my thinking and saying, well, you know what? This is a big part of, you know.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To do that, but now there are sort of newer devices where they've studied them and used them like twice a day for 30 minutes and they've seen some increase in PNL length. They're generally pretty safe. It's more about, you might have some bruising from just putting the traction device on. And as long as you follow the instructions, you're probably not going to hurt yourself.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it is. In terms of looking at the evidence, the safest and most reliable ways using attraction device, and these are devices that are made for essentially for pengening, but they're also made for men who have something called Pironi's disease, where they may develop a plaque on their penis and a curvature. And so there's one device that's actually made that bends away from the plaque to help sort of break down that plaque. So there are two uses for it, but essentially These devices are just like stretching the tissue over time. And so the original traction devices that were studied, you would have to use them for six to eight hours a day for several months to see a two centimeter increase in length. Now that may be enough for some people, they were like, yes, I definitely want them. Some people like, you know what? It may or may not. I mean, two centimeters is the average. Some are going to be less, right? So it's sort of, do you have the time to do that?”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So pelvic floor is actually a part of your core, right? But your glutes are further back. They're not going to be felt from there. But anyways, if you think about your pelvic floor, it's actually, you know, people think about their cords or abdominals, but we know that it sort of encompasses your back, your front, and even your pelvic floor is sort of part of your core muscles.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like on the muscles, on the pelvic floor muscles. So you can actually. So, if you put your finger in the rectum, if you push right straight down in a man, you're feeling the prostate. And if you push on the sides at a variety of different angles, you're going to feel different pelvic floor muscles like the levator an eye and the transoptator muscles. Those muscles are the ones that are part of the pelvic floor. We can't feel all of them, but we can feel some of them. And so that is sort of where we're feeling in terms of for the pelvic floor muscles.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So in a man, it would be erectal exam. And so essentially, that's how you sort of feel the pelvic floor muscles. So what I tell young guys who come to me say, look, I can examine you, but I bet based on your story, like you're a young guy, you sort of had these new stressors in your life. And you're otherwise healthy. It's unlucky that you have a vascular condition brewing and other things that like it's probably likely. So if you want to avoid the exam because it can be uncomfortable or and I will tell you if you have pelvic floor dysfunction and someone does an exam, it will be uncomfortable. It will be painful potentially because they're pushing on those already tense muscles and it can be painful. So I tell people like you might hate me tomorrow because you'll be sore and you'll say, what did she do during that exam? And I kind of preemptively tell them because I just gently push, right? Like I'm pushing the pad on my finger, but that's enough to sort of cause attention of the pelvic floor muscle and cause pain.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your pelvic floor examined by a professional whether it's a urologist, a gynecologist, a pelvic floor physical therapist, someone who can assess your pelvic floor if you're having these issues, because it might be pelvic floor, it might not, right?”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So for, like I said, the obvious ones for women are leakage, are having prolapse for weakness. In men, we don't often see as much, but like I said, you might notice that your semen is not as forceful when it comes out. That's usually the most common sign of a weak pelvic floor. There's not as many for men. But in terms of an overly high tone pelvic floor, what we worry about then is that there's a whole host of symptoms. It could be as simple as just having lower back pain. It can be that you're having hip pain. It could be that you're having pain with sex. You're having pain with erections, pain with ejaculation, you're going to the bathroom often got to go, gotta go. You are feeling like you're having difficulty emptying your bladder or you are going very, very often all of a sudden. So it can be a vague variety of these symptoms. And so generally it's important to get evaluated to see, like examine, to get.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay. And the third one is you're trying to hold in a fart. So, all those different ways you're sort of getting those muscles. So, the one thing I tell people is they get the way they get it wrong is they don't relax enough. So just like when you go to the gym, you're not doing rep after rep after rep, you're actually taking a break and you're letting your muscles relax before you do another rep. Same thing. You have to squeeze for five seconds, relax for five seconds, right? You actually have to relax. And just like any exercise, you don't want to overdo it. So I tell people.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So basically, for men, what I tell people is it's like the feeling of when you're urinating and you stop your urine stream. That's you're using those same muscles. So that's one way. Another way to think about it is if you were trying to lift your penis off the ground without touching it.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it's essentially men never know. Like, it's not your fault. Women sort of kind of know, but even women don't really know. So what it is is there's those same muscles we talked about earlier is that you're basically doing a rep. You're squeezing contracting and relaxing. So you go to the gym, right? You squeeze and relax. Very similar. You are squeezing those muscles and relaxing those muscles.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it's more than Kegel's. I mean, Kiegel's has the best PR of any sort of thing I've ever seen in medicine. But yeah, it's pelvic floor exercise. The Kiegels is one pelvic floor exercise, which is to strengthen the pelvic floor. And there are others. What is it?”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Weaker. Weaker. Yeah. Yeah. So then when it becomes weak, that is the cause of things like stress incontinence. So when a woman lifts something heavy or she exercises or she jumps or she coughs or sneezes, she might have a couple drops of urine or a lot of urine leak out because of a weak pelvic floor. It can also be lead to something like prolapse where it's like a hernia in the vagina where the pelvic floor sort of is so weak that now the vaginal skin and the organ behind it is sort of bulging out and can cause discomfort and sort of feeling maybe some dysfunction in the organ, but really mostly discomfort. And so those are signs of weak pelvic floors. Know not having a loose vagina during sex.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, the way that women's vaginas get, if you want to say loose, right, which is the term that people use, or they get a weak pelvic floor, and that's from having babies, having maybe neurologic conditions that affect the pelvic floor strength, having collagen disorders, having just from like having a job where you stand all day and you're like, all the weight of your body is sitting on your pelvic floor, those muscles can get weaker over the course of a lifetime. And then it can feel a bit looser because those muscles are maybe not squeezing as harder. But it is not related to how much sex she's having. Because as we mentioned earlier, when you have an orgasm, you're actually like strengthening your pelvic floor a little bit. You're contracting those muscles. So actually probably the more sex a woman has, likely, her pelvic floor is probably stronger unless she's not, you know, but, you know, you add in the having babies and other things, it's variable. But probably.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“5.7 minutes, 5.1 to 5.7 minutes, depending on the study you look at. And they looked at all comers. So it's actually different in different countries. So when you look at like Turkey, it was like four minutes. And if you look at UK, it was like 10 minutes. So it's actually variable. And that may be a cultural thing, but ultimately the average is about five something.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. So I think that most people definitely think it lasts longer. So women tend, we don't know what they think it lasts, but what they want it to be is about 18 to 25 minutes. Men are a little on the shorter side, like maybe 12 minutes. But generally, we all want it to be around that length. But you sort of lose sense of time, right? So you don't really, no one's really there with the stopwatch knowing exactly how long it takes. In fact, I've had friends tell me, like, oh, I watched your video. And now when my partner wants sex, I'm like, oh, it's only going to take five minutes. Like, I can have sex with them. Like, I used to, in my head, used to think it would take a lot longer. And now I've realized it takes less time. And like, I don't, that stress of like, oh my God, I'm going to have to waste like half an hour and I'm so tired, like has gone out the window because I know it's really not going to take that long.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We all think it lasts longer, and when you ask people what the average time, and this is a hard question because people think of sex as a whole encounter. And when we do it scientifically, we look at sex from penetration to the end of penetration. And sex is more diverse, right? Sex can include oral sex, anal sex, manual sex, any type of sexual stimulation, right? And so when you're thinking about the entire encounter, it can be very variable. Some people want a quickie. Some people want to have this long, luxurious love-making scenario. And it really depends also like on what's going on in your life. Like you may not have that luxury. And so I don't, I think, again, it's not about reaching a certain benchmark or a certain number. It's really about the quality of the sex. So if you have great sex and takes three minutes, that's great. That's fine. But as long as it's great to both of you, right? If you're both like this is awesome, I'm having great sex and it takes three minutes. That's fine.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Scheduling time for intimacy. So because sex adds, as we talked about, add sort of like a level of stress. You can't have a good sexual encounter. In fact, they've looked at mindfulness in terms of how it improves sexual function, particularly in women. But we've seen very clear data that having a mindfulness practice leads to improved sexual function in terms of desire and other factors like arousal and lubrication and orgasm. But the biggest is desire. And so it's because if you can focus on what's happening during the sexual encounter, so you can focus on what it feels like, how you're enjoying that sensation rather than thinking about, am I going to come? Am I going to climax? Is it going to happen? Or whatever it is that you're thinking about during sex because you're worried about how the other partner might react, then you're more likely to enjoy the experience and then have a good experience and subsequently have more desire for additional experiences.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's why I said there needs to be a rhythm. It should keep going at a certain pace in order to achieve that climax. Because if it doesn't, then you can, again, just like that's a very good description, you'll lose that little air in the balloon.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And during this time, your heart rate's racing, your pupils are dilating, right? There's all these physiologic changes. And then when you orgasm, your muscles contract, as I mentioned before in this every 0.8 seconds, they're having a contraction. Sometimes you'll have an involuntary phonation so people will, you know, moan or scream. And sometimes it's not in their control. Like there's actually an involuntary component of it. And then sort of it comes down. And so it's not us necessarily a switch. It's sort of a climb up a mountain is the way I would describe it.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“About double. Yeah. And it's different from person. That's the average, right? So there is sort of like this thought that like, okay, if it's really, really large, it's always going to be better and that's not actually always the case because not every vagina can accommodate a very large phallus. But so when you're having orgasm, essentially your pelvic floor muscles are tensing up. They're getting really tense and you're reaching this basically you're getting to the top of the hill. You're getting this really large amount of climax. And so your body is sort of going up and up and up. You're reaching like increasing dopamine and you're increasing. So when you think about what happens in the brain is your hormones are going higher and higher. And there's also an inhibitory. There's a stimulatory and an inhibitory pathway. And so the stimulatory pathway is going up inhibitory. Stimulatory. You're basically trying to race up to the top of this mountain. And once the stimulatory gets to the very, very top, then you have the orgasm. And so you release all this tension.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, but yeah, ultimately, all of those things, they build this tension, right? So over the course of sexual stimulation, arousal, you are getting to an excitement phase where your body's changing. So in women, for example, you will see that the labia become a little bit redder, they expand in size. As I said, the vagina lengthens and elongates.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We're done here. So, yeah, because nobody wants to taco it. They literally want me to tell them, like, this is what you do, A, B, C, D, D, right?”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it's sort of like a spectrum, I guess. I mean, so let's talk about what it is exactly. So, an orgasm is a moment in time that is combined with a like a maximal tension and then a release. And during that time, it is. Completely, you're completely unable to think about anything else. It is a very powerful, pleasurable sensation. And it occurs usually, like I said, five to 60 seconds, it can last. And is it in terms of how you get it? It's usually a culmination of stimulation over a period of time, even with a certain sort of like rhythm that's required to achieve climax that's different from person to person. So I can't give you the script on this is how fast you need to penetrate or this is how what stimulation you need to use.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To penetrate, then she's probably not going to orgasm. And so, and the interesting thing is when you look at sexual encounters and you look at men and women having sex for the first time, the woman will orgasm 45% of the time, the man will orgasm 95% of the time. When you look at women having sex with women on a first-time encounter, they both have orgasms 95% of the time. So clearly there's an educational disconnect, right? Women know what they like and what stimulates them, and men aren't getting the memo.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Men, men, men, so from penetration to climax of men. So they've measured basically not including foreplay, but if they've measured, they've measured like 15,000 people through many, many different countries and they've had the woman take a stopwatch and actually click on it when they penetrate and click it off when they climax and they've measured the length of time. And it's been about 5.1 to 5.7 minutes is the time. Now a woman, when you look at the average time to orgasm for a woman, it's about 14 minutes. And so you can imagine that if the entire sexual encounter is around the male climax, right, and the male has this, as we've already talked about, sort of this postnut clarity, like I don't want refractory time, they're not going to want to be more intimate. If you don't prioritize the female's climax or stimulate her before you begin.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think ultimately it's really important for the most easy, reliable route to orgasm is cliteral stimulation, which is not traditionally stimulated through penis and vagina sex, right? And so it does require some additional thought on how you're going to stimulate it and how you're going to please the partner and to get them to orgasm. And oftentimes, if you think about the time it takes to orgasm, so in a man, the average length, if you look at studies that are looked at stopwatches, like they've had the female partner actually start a stopwatch at the beginning of sex and stop it at the end when the man climaxes. It's about 5.1 to 5.7 minutes, which in fact UK men tend to last a little bit longer, which is sort of an interesting concept.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Are the G erogenous zone. It's actually not a spot, it's a zone, and that's where essentially if you go look at the vagina on the anterior wall, which is the top of the It's named after the person who identified it, I think it's Graffenhouse or something like that. But essentially that area is full of certain nerve endings as well as the female prostate or the Skeen's glands. And so those are areas that are quite erogenous and that uses a different, so the clitoris is innervated by the prudendal nerve. The G erogenous zone is innervated by the hypograstic nerve, so a different nerve. And then the cervix is the last area where sometimes women feel a lot of stimulation and that's stimulated by the vagus nerve. So all these different areas can lead to orgasm for women and they can be additive. So if you're stimulating all three, you might have a more strong orgasm and the orgasm may feel a little different. Now people like to call it like, oh, you're getting cliteral orgasm or a vaginal orgasm. It's all an orgasm. It's just a matter of what stimulation is causing the orgasm.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“With them, it's just that they don't, and because the stimulus from the clitoris is so strong, it leads to a very reliable route for orgasm. Now, how you stimulate it is sort of very individually specific, but typically oral stimulation, vibratory stimulation, manual stimulation, all those things can work, but that's where the communication comes in, where like the partner, ideally, would know what they like and could tell you. Or you could check like, does this feel good? Does this feel good? Do you like this? And so that's sort of, again, a challenge because the communication issue we've talked about this whole talk, but that is really what's important now. The clearest, like I said, it goes deep above the vagina and around it so people can still get cliteral stimulation through penetration depending on how you stimulate. Now, the other areas that are important for orgasm.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so what I tell everybody and what men can think of is the clitoris is like the penis. So when you are a fetus, there's a thing called a genital tubercle. Before you're assigned sex, that genital tubercle, when you become a man, that genital tubercle becomes the penis and the shaft and the glands. And in a woman, it becomes the clitoris. And the clitoris actually then goes deep into the pelvis, just like the penis. It has a shaft in the pelvis, and then it goes around the vaginal canal. The clitoris is just as sensitive as a man's penis, right? So if you stimulate the clitoris like your penis gets stimulated, then it will lead to orgasm. And it's probably the most reliable route for orgasm for women. So 85% of women need some form of cliteral stimulation to climax. And so many women have difficulty climaxing through vaginal penetration alone. That's not that they're broken or something's wrong.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wow, I actually didn't, I mean, I've heard a lot of things and I think that people feel like I've heard that men think they're going to hurt the baby, they're going to cause a problem. But no, absolutely. You can have sex. You're not going to create like a preterm labor. You're not going to harm the fetus. Like nothing bad is going to happen from having sex while pregnant.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do digital health? Like, how do you navigate the world with all this misinformation? How do you find good quality information? How do you assess it? Like there's so many things, even how to balance your books, right? They don't learn that in school. So ultimately there's so many things I think if we were really putting a critical eye on how we teach our young people that we could improve. And part of that would be including people to know and realize when they need help through whatever trauma they've suffered or stress or anxiety that they're suffering and how that can propagate itself over a lifetime and create real problems.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It can affect you negatively when it's in a positive place. It can affect you more positively. The one thing I will say is if you have trauma, getting therapy, getting help to resolve that trauma is so, so important. I talk to all my patients and I say, yes, you may have an organic problem, meaning a physiologic, bodily problem that's causing your sexual dysfunction. But everyone who has sexual dysfunction has a psychological component because it is devastating, it is stressful, it is horrifying to feel like you're not normal. Your body doesn't function normal, especially in an intimate space like sex. So I'm like everybody should ideally see a sex therapist. If it was available to everybody, but it's not, right? How can we allow people to have access to things they need? Because we don't teach these things in school, right? School, I mean, this is my big gripe is like, how can we make education better for children? Like, we need better sexual education. We need better education on how to resolve traumas or how to deal with them or how to get help.”
2024-04-01 · The Diary of a CEO · The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! This Is The Perfect Amount Of Times To Have Sex! Strong Pelvic Floor = Better Sex! Dr Rena Malik · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT