YouSaid · the spoken record

Elizabeth Gilbert

lines on the record: 138
first: 2024-09-25
most recent: 2024-09-25
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“A project because my projects, whether they're fiction or non fiction, are so heavily research driven. And it can take three or four years to create one of these books. And so the last novel that I wrote, City of Girls, I was thinking about that book for 10 years before I started it. It was at those meetings for 10 years. And the next novel that I planning to write, I've been thinking about for probably 15 years, but it's coming more into view. So there's some that are kind of on the horizon that are coming in, but I'm thinking of air traffic control. They come in in order. Something is feeding them to me in order. And I don't know what that something is.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So weird. I never thought of that. Yeah, I mean, it's so, this is like the mystery of a human brain or a human system because. In my personal life, I'm so flaky. And in my professional life, I'm so clear. It's amazing. I think the universe gives us certain things that are sort of easier for us than other things. But yeah, because it takes me so long to”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, and then some other ideas like, no, I want to write about this very specific thing, and it's going to take that, you know, I'm like, okay, so this one's got their act together. So when the bird idea is more formed, come back. Like, come back when you're ready. Come back when you're ready to be real and not just to be tantalizing me with like, so I'm a real hard ass about it. I don't mess around. I don't let these ideas push me around.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's like I'm the angel investor, and these ideas are like, you know, we want your time and money for this. And I'm like, what are you? What do you have for me? Why should I invest my money and time in you? And a lot of ideas when I challenge them like that disappear into the ether because they're like, I don't know, something about birds. You know, like they don't like.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What I know Is that if I abandon my, let's call it wife, This project that I've been working on for a few months to go off with the hot girl. In a few months, she's going to be just as boring and stale. And then a new hot girl's gonna come on. And I'm never going to complete anything. So, you know, stick with the one you came to the dance with. And if I've got multiple ideas and I'm not sure which one I'm beginning, I actually have a sort of like a team meeting and I make the ideas, make proposals to me about how they want, what do you actually want me to do?”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The hottest girl of the day, and it's like just showed up, and you're like, and you've been married for two months, you know, and you're like, oh, I've been married for two months in the hotspots.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, because then it's legit, it's like, no, I've got this better idea. But do you have 30 unfinished things? Because if you have 30 unfinished things, now we have a problem. And I have those same things happen to me. Like I'm a third of away, a quarter of away, fifth away in a project. And then something so much more interesting comes along. And I'm like, but I know enough to know. It comes dancing. It's like a dancing girl. Like it just comes across the stage.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then you're like, but I don't want to do this thing. This thing is like fresh and exciting. This is the really, really cool thing, right? And then you go and do that one and then another idea comes and then it's like, you know, you're dealing with this melee. So oftentimes people will say like to me, I'm working on a book and I'm halfway through it, but I've got this other idea that I think is way better and this book feels really stale and it doesn't have any life in it. And I always say like, okay, well, I give you permission to quit working on that first project, but only if you have a proven track record of ever being able to finish a thing.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's very, very, very similar to meditation. Like meditation, spirituality and art have so much in common. So this may sound familiar to people who are like maybe you've had this experience. You start working on this thing that was this inspiration. And a couple weeks, couple months into it, couple days, another idea comes. And that idea seems more interesting.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, part of the thing I've noticed that people tend to get stuck on sometimes is that they get this inspiration, right? So inspiration comes first and inspiration is the breathing in of God, right? So like something, even the most empirical scientific atheist people in the world, when they talk about where an idea came from, they say an idea came to me like they say that they don't even know they're saying that, but that's their reporting accurately what the feeling is because that's what everyone I've ever met who's had an idea. It's the Eureka moment. It's like, oh, I just heard, saw, felt an inspiration. And I know the difference between something that comes from me and something that comes to me talking about prepositions again. And I think most creative people do as well. Like, oh, this came to me, right? And then it can feel like an assignment or it can feel like a challenge. And it's like, now I want to make this thing. But a place where I think people get sidetracked and distressed.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've gotten what I wanted a lot in life, and it almost killed me. So I'm not so interested anymore in what I want. I'm good at manifesting what I want, and I'm good at almost dying from getting what I want. You know, so maybe there's a better question To be asking them, what do I want”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, just look at my life. I have a long history of making decisions that are very bad for getting what I wanted and then finding out this is another thing that I find is really wonderful about middle age.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, no, no, no, no. I get it. You know, and like, that's why people get enhanced. Because there's that sense of like, oh, wait a minute, this is bigger and more complicated. I'm part of this, but I wow, you know, like Steve Jobs' last words. Wow, wow, wow. Like whatever he saw on those last moments. Wow, wow, wow. I'm thinking of a relative of mine who I said one time, would you rather be happy or write? And they said, how in the world could I be happy if I wasn't right? And I think that it's actually quite the opposite for me, like probably wrong.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The same senses and look at the world and come to the same conclusion about what they're seeing and agree doesn't make it true. And that settles me, and it shouldn't. It's kind of like the rugs and the floor and the ground are being pulled out from under you completely, and that shouldn't be relaxing. But I find it deeply relaxing because then the stakes suddenly become a lot lower. It's like, all right, well. Since I don't even know what this game is that I'm in. Let me do what I can and let the rest of it go. Don't mean quit the game, you're still in the virtual reality game, play it nicely, but play it knowing that you don't even know what you're looking at.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A voice sang to me You don't even know what you're looking at You don't even know what you're looking at, and it just pierces my certainty because my certainty is one of the things that makes me so anxious. And this is a very convincing That we live in, you know, it's very, very, very convincing, but the mystics and the physicists seem to agree that it might really not be what we see and what we're perceiving. I went to an event in Brooklyn a couple years ago and heard two Nobel Prize winning physicists talk about the nature of reality and it was so wonderful to hear this Nobel Prize-winning scientist say the more I look at reality the less I understand it and all I can say after all these years of studying the nature of reality is that nothing is what it appears and that”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's love, so we have to then go back to you don't have to win this. You're not going to be graded. A thing I often hear in those prayers and meditations is we've got all the time in the world. And that's the exact opposite of the stress that I was raised under, the vice grip that I was raised under. Short amount of time, extremely important to win. No errors can be allowed. So got all the time in the world. We got all the time in the universe. What's time? Plenty of time. It'll happen or it won't, like whatever the thing is. And that actually also happens to be true that it will happen or it won't. Like even we know that our best laid plan sometimes is like, I guess this wasn't the thing that was supposed to happen. But then there's also where my body goes into a deep hum that I used to only be able to get from substances or love of another person settling me, that deep, deep, like, okay, everything is okay here. The thing that always works for me is”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I can't just live on this plane or I will lose my shit, the plane of the apparent and the real and the material and the Newtonian physics, it's like too stressful. And I need to have access to a deeper perspective to be able to be relaxed enough to actually say and mean I have no cherished outcome. Like right to the point of saying like whether I live or die, I have no cherished outcome. Can I be that relaxed? Can I be relaxed enough not to know what's going to happen? Can I believe that some other thing is orchestrating this and my involvement might not be necessary in every single moment? This is a hard thing for women.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your priorities. Priorities, right? So who are your priorities? What are your priorities? What do you actually care about? Do you have the courage to say like no? So, Founders' priorities and then mysticism is the only thing that will actually relax my nervous system, and that is getting really quiet and connecting through two-way prayer through a letter from love and through deep meditation”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Same with Text messages like You will hear from me immediately if I care. Like, if I don't, it's because I don't care and it's okay. You can't care about everything.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Don't care. It's like, look, if I care, I'll get back to you immediately. Like, this is what I've learned about my inbox.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't care. Those are the three words that women are never allowed to say. Like a woman is never allowed to say, I don't care”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And women are not taught that they're allowed to have priorities. Men are taught that they're allowed to have priorities, but women are supposed to prioritize everybody and everything. And you feel really guilty if you're not prioritizing everybody and everything. And I always suggest that you should maybe have like four priorities, like four or five. And there's nothing like tragedy to kind of make it clear what your priorities are too. Like when my partner Rayo was diagnosed with terminal cancer, it became very clear to me very quickly who I cared about. and what I wanted to be doing with my time. And I remember opening my inbox the day I found out that she had six months to live and seeing like this huge list of emails. And I just deleted them all without responding to them because I was like, the reason that these emails have been sitting in my inbox for months is not because I'm too busy. It's because I don't care.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Artists know this, like this is where the flow happens, athletes know this. And so I think for me, I've narrowed it down to three things that I need for me, for my system to be relaxed. And it's boundaries, priorities, and mysticism. And if I don't have those three things, I'm super stressed. And I would say that the mysticism is the most important, but the boundaries protect that.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“About and how many of us were violated in our bodies at various times. I mean, there's a million reasons to not be relaxed. And yet the question I have is if you were to step in, and this is a question I always ask to women, if you were to think of the biggest shit tornado going on in your life right now, whatever it is, the hardest thing you're doing, whether it's your activism or your family or your work or a medical issue or a bankruptcy or an addiction issue, like whatever it is, or a problematic family member. And if you were to go into that same exact shit tornado tomorrow and not one external thing changed, but you were relaxed Would you be more or less effective at handling it? Martial artists know that the most relaxed person in the room wins the fight. You know, like actors know this,”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, it's not a revolution. It's not a revolution. What would be a revolution would be a relaxed woman because I never saw one growing up. I saw angry tired women. And I saw some relaxed men, but I saw angry tired women. And I was on the pathway to becoming an angry tired woman. And that's when my body revolted and was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not doing this. We're going in a completely different direction. So how do you not be an angry tired woman? That's a really big question. And I think when I talk about this with groups of women, I always say, you know, I think we have to be careful because there's some part of us that thinks it would be irresponsible not to be angry. And it would be irresponsible not to be tired. Because, I mean, just look at the world and how much it needs us and on the personal level and on the political level and how much there is to be angry.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So let me start with why. When I think of the words that are commonly used to describe the women who we all admire, badass, fierce, tough, resilient, brave, strong, or in the Brene Brown realm, vulnerable, open hearted, you know, like Aspire to be all those things.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hot seat. No, it's not. I mean, I haven't met that many relaxed men either, but like, you know. I think it would be a truly revolutionary thing.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Watering my plants, shaving my head, and it's so cool, it's so exciting because I never saw a woman like this when I was growing up. And I never heard of a woman like this. I only heard cautionary tales about how tragic and sad unmarried divorced or widowed women were. And I'm all of those. I'm unmarried, divorced, and widowed. So I'm like the trifecta. And these have been the most creative spiritual and wild years of my life.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know it's so great. And I was like, oh my God, the freedom. Like I wake up every morning. I'm like, my hair's perfect. Like I jump in a river, jump in a lake, jump in an ocean, get off, get off a plane. It's never not perfect. It's amazing. And I can't imagine any reason to ever have hair again. And it's part of, I don't know, I just think it's part of this. Amazing thing about becoming a free woman and a middle-aged, I am culture's nightmare. I'm a middle aged, childless, husbandless woman. Like I'm basically a bog witch, like just living, rattling around in a house by myself, talking to myself.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why are we doing this? Why do I have to do this? And so many of the most amazing reckoning and liberation moments of my life have been these moments where I was like, oh, I don't have to buy into this anymore just because I've been trained and taught and conditioned my entire life that I have to buy into this. I'm opting out. I'm out. I'm taking my toys and I'm leaving. And I thought, I can just get mad about the patriarchy and say that there's an unfair beauty standard for men and women, or I can just claim the entitlement that these men have. And just get some buzzers at CVS and clip my own hair and never think about my hair again. And that's what I did.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And all the women had long or longish versions of some sort of complicated hair That I, you know, I know hair, so I know what it costs to have that hair. I know the keratin treatment you had to have for that hair to look silky. I know the dye job that you had to pay for. I know how much those highlights cost. I know that only 2% of women in the world are blonde and that 45% of the women in that room were blonde, including me, you know? And I was like thinking about Dolly Parton's line where somebody said to her one time, do you ever get offended at dumb blonde jokes? And she said, no, because I know I ain't dumb. And I know I hate blonde. And it's like, I ain't blonde and I ain't dumb, but I'm spending a lot of money to, and I just had this really reckoning moment where I thought,”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just take it off. Like, I just want to be free. I want to be free. And I never had the courage to do it. And I had a lot of reasons for why I couldn't do that as a woman. What if my head has a weird shape? What if, I mean, I'm a public figure? What if I'm out there with a bald head? I just, I always was like, when I get older, I'll do it. When I get older, I'll do it. And then I had this amazing awakening. And it was last year I went to an event in New York and there are a bunch of people there who were in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. And this is New York City. So it's like one of the most progressive places in the world. And I looked around the room and all the men, all of the men had clipped, like shaved or buzzed hair. And they all looked great. Like yours. Like they all looked great. It was a bunch of like silver foxes. They all had lines in their faces. They looked fantastic.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've buzzed off my hair gosh about nine months ago. And I have been wanting to do this for 20 years and dreaming about doing this for 20 years. And I can't tell you how many times I've sat in my hairdresser's chair and been like, just take those clippers and just buzz it off. Just buzz it off. I'll take it off.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Time and I love that, like my most joyful moments of my life have been alone with my work. And I remember hearing Michael Shabon one time say, and I'm super social too, like I have a lot of friends and a lot of people who I love and care about, but I'm always happy to go back to being alone. Anyway, I heard him say one time, and he's got four kids, I think, but he said, you can love your books, but they can't love you back. And I thought, oh, my books love me back. Like, my work loves me. Like, it is a love story in two directions. Like, it is a beautiful love story writing those books. And I feel that there's something very alive and...”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To mix, but I love my own company except for when I'm in some sort of super disrupted mental state. And then it's very painful to be with myself. But lately, In the last 10 years, it's my favorite person to hang out with. And I live alone and I love living alone. And I love waking up and being like, here's our day. Like, what do we want to do? It's so, how do we want to spend this? And I'm a writer. I chose to be a writer. It's a very solitary.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That sounds fantastic. It's not very stressful. No, I actually like spending holidays alone because they're quiet days. When you're alone, the phone's not ringing and working emails aren't coming in. Like some of my happiest days have been holidays that I spent alone. I enjoy it.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Man, there's some. I feel like there's so much on the table. And it's like the meal, even as a kid, I found it so stressful. And like everyone's so tense. And it's like, why do we have to do this? And the answer is you don't have to. But the people who love it should do it”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't like the ritual of big holiday gatherings. And I've let my family know that, that I'm like, I love you guys and I'm going to come and see you any day of the year except these days. So I'll come and see you in early December. I'll spend a week. We'll have a great time. Like, I want to have one-on-one time with you. I want to sit at the table with you. I want to go for walks with you. I want to go for bike rides with you. I want to come for Christmas.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, I always say some people are medicine, like when you're with them, when you come away from them, you feel like you've gotten a dose of medicine. And some people need medicine. And when you're with them, you feel like they rated your pharmacy. Some people Need to be institutionalized. It's beyond that. It's just anything with this here. You know, one thing I have noticed is that I don't like holidays.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Who I just stopped responding to because their being, I kept running through the scenarios of like how would an open and honest conversation about this go and it would be like not good. I don't have any reason to think that this would go well like this is going to be a firestorm and I think I'm just going to leave. But it isn't easy, but I'm a lot healthier. Since I've done that, I think it's easier when you're older too because I think you get used to you don't keep everybody in life. You think as a young person, you can't”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm going through a list in my head. I'm like, how did I do that one? How did I do that one? Some have been done, I would say, elegantly, which to me means honestly. But I think, again, you can keep it on the eye and just say like, I noticed that I become so dysregulated after these encounters that I can't do this anymore. This is too dysregulating for me. I can't do it. I'm out. At times where I'm super dysregulated, I will say, I'm not well and I need to go get well. And I'm going to go take some privacy because that's also true. Like I can get so dysregulated that I become unwell. I'm thinking of a couple other people where I very honestly said like I'm at a place in my life right now where I need a lot of solitude and a lot of silence. And if that changes, I'll let you know. And then there's something.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's somebody who is really prioritizing her own well-being. And she was like, I've blocked my mother for several years at a time because she was too destructive. She's like, I've got siblings I haven't spoken to in years because they're too disruptive. And they are not entitled to have me in their life just because we were born into the same family. That's intense boundaries. So I will say only that I've done stuff like that. I've decided that not everybody's entitled to have me in their life.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Value and self friendliness. She said, the follow up question in the audience was somebody said, what about people who you have to deal with? And you have to have them in your life because like they're in your family. And she said, I'm thinking as hard as I can and I cannot come up with a single name of anybody who is entitled to be in my life. Matter what their biological relationship is to me. And that's a radical position to take. And Rachel Cargill lives a radical life.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I do feel a sense of stewardship toward myself. And no, I mean, it's hard. I'll tell you this, I did an event with Rachel Cargill, the great writer and civil rights activist a couple years ago, and somebody in the audience asked us, you guys both seem so calm and chilled. You have difficult people in your life. And I started laughing so hard. I rolled, literally rolled off my chair. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. And she said, no, I don't. And I was like, wait, what? And I was like, leaning in, I'm like, wait a minute, break that down. And she said, No, I don't have anybody in my life currently who's difficult because I won't do that to myself anymore. And here's the Zinger. This is somebody with a tremendous sense of self.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm trying to think how to describe it that doesn't get too revealing too much personal stuff. I'm not here to say it's easy, but”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, I come home sick when I'm around those people. Like, I lose my attainments when I'm around those people. And it's not friendly for me to be around people who are cruel. And when I'm around people who are cruel, I become unwell, and I also then have to use something to, like, I get so dislike substance. Like I get like. Certain people I'm around them, and it's like I want to have a drink, like I want to have, I want to have a drink, call a phone number. I shouldn't dial, like start smoking and driving fast. You know, like this dysregulates me so much. And it's just, it's not kind to myself to put myself in those situations again and again.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There are people who I am not skilled. This is how I word it because I want to keep it on me. I'm not skilled enough to be able to hold my serenity when I'm around them. I lose the hard-earned peace that I try to generate every day through meditation and through two-way prayer and through the way that I live. Like I'm constantly trying to bring myself to a level of kind of humming nicely along. And there are certain people who I manage can't do it. And I think my younger self was spiritually ambitious enough that I was like, if you were better human being, then you would be able to jiu-jitsu your way through this or you would compassion your way through this or you would accept your way through this. And I'm at an age now at 55 where I'm like, no, I just can't do. I can't.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Too hard and you're doing too much, and you don't have to try this hard and do too much, but I don't want to be let off the hook because I want to keep aspiring to go further and higher and I don't want to hear a voice that tells me that I'm okay just the way I am. I'm afraid that will make me stop. And I was like, oh, honey, who hurt you? Oh dear, you can still do things, but might it not be nice to also hear that something loves you even as you're aspiring? You know, anyway, it was just, that was interesting. Sorry, but you had a second question.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You just made me realize I didn't answer your second question about whether people who have some sort of religious or spiritual. Basis find this easier, not necessarily because some people still are praying to what James Joyce called the hangman god. And you're not going to get a letter of unconditional love from the hangman god. You're going to get a list of complaints about things that you need to do better. So sometimes those people have a really hard time doing it. There's one man I asked to do this, to write a letter from Love, and he's a very well-known figure in the world. I'm trying to think how to not identify. I'm not even going to say more than that, but he's somebody who's very admired and is very good. And he had the most surprising response of people who have said, no, most people say no because they're either afraid that they're going to ask, love to show up and love isn't going to show up. And that would be more painful than not asking, or they feel like it's too vulnerable to expose themselves like this. He said no because he said, I have a feeling I know what unconditional love is going to say to me. It's going to say, you're trying.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, grandmother, like he was just scratched that. He was like, cousin? Has anybody ever said a kind word to you? You know, like it was, you know, and it really spotlights.”
2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT