YouSaid · the spoken record

Elizabeth Gilbert

lines on the record
138
first
2024-09-25
most recent
2024-09-25
sittings or episodes
1
sources
podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

  1. “Let go of it. First, she's like, I think we first have to find our preciousness. And then we can let go of it. And then we can evolve. But if we don't even know that any of us, anything about us is precious, that's already a problem. And when the Dalai Lama started teaching people how to love themselves, he would say, talk to yourself the way your mother would talk to you. And then he found out about some of her moms. And he was like,”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “This doesn't even make sense. Like what you're saying doesn't even make sense. And when he finally grasped not only that he understood that person's question and what they were talking about, but that everyone in the room shared this problem, he was so devastated. And he said, I used to think that I had a really good understanding of the workings of the human mind. But this is new to me, and this is very disturbing. Like, this is not okay. And essentially after that, he said, this is where we're going to start. And then that's basically what he became his mission in the Western world. And it's interesting I was talking about it with Sharon Salzburg the other day, and she was saying in Buddhism, they say, you know, that one of the things that if you want to evolve is that you have to be less precious to yourself. You have to think of yourself as being less precious. But she said, in the West we haven't even gotten to the point where we think we're precious yet.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “Hearing the question because he kept saying, Wait, who is the enemy? Who's the person that you're having trouble with? And of course, being like Calvinistic Westerners in the room raised on scarcity and, you know, your never enoughness and original sin. Everybody in the room was like, no, I'm the one I hate. And he was like.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “And she was in a group of people who were the first Americans, North Americans to meet him. And it was at a time when nobody really knew who he was. He wasn't like the rock star who he became. He was this obscure Tibetan monk. And of course, it took place somewhere in California. And there were some academics in the room and some spiritual writers and teachers and meditators and this sort of elect group of people who were coming to meet him and he was speaking through a translator because he didn't speak much English at the time. And somebody in the room asked him what Tibetan Buddhism and his teachings have to say about self-hatred and how to combat self-hatred. And don't you know that man had to talk to his translator for like 15 minutes and kept asking for the question to be repeated, he didn't understand the question. He kept thinking that he was missing.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “I'm so moved and disturbed by it. So Sharon Salzburg, do you know Sharon Salzburg, a meditation teacher? So she met the Dalai Lama, and she's written about this. She met the Dalai Lama on his first visit to the West.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “Yeah, I mean, we always talk about self love, but that's kind of lofty. And I think you could just start by being a little friendlier. You know what I mean? Like, just how about the common courtesy you would show to a stranger on the subway? Like, let's start with that. Like just common human decency. So there's a story that.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “Instantly. You know, you ask me how I feel about my Like, you've got this chest cold you've had for seven weeks. You're finishing this project that's huge. You've got a lot on you like honey. Yeah, it's hard. You're having a hard time Suddenly, it's like I'm a very different person toward myself.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “So, yeah, that's a really beautiful summation of what it is. But the difference between, even, I mean, try it, Tim, actually. Can you feel the difference physically between if I ask you how you feel about yourself and how you feel toward yourself?”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “Beautifully described. Yeah, I've heard it described as group therapy for one. And he actually, Dick Schwartz, who founded it, started off as a group therapist. And when he started doing individual therapy, he was like, oh, this is just like group therapy. We've got voices yelling at each other inside this person who don't know how to communicate with each other, right?”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “It all works within IFS2, but one of the things they say in IFS a lot is a prepositional change. How do you feel toward yourself versus how do you feel about yourself?”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “From love that he shared is one of my favorite ones that I've ever seen. His letter was addressed to that little boy who he was, who saw more violence before he was eight years old than most people on tours of duty in Afghanistan had seen, and how tenderly that child needed to be treated. And watching him, you know, this like athlete, this motivational speaker, this great leader like turned toward himself or have love turned toward him in such a tender and intimate way was so moving. But he was open to it. He allowed that vulnerability to come through.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “Hard to know because women tend to follow me more than men do, but I've invited a number of men, so every week's on my substack I Share a letter from love that I've written, and then I invite a special guest to do it. And I've invited a number of men. I'm thinking right now about my friend Arce Cooper, who's such an extraordinary guy. He grew up on the south side of Chicago in an absolutely bullet and drug ridden ghetto, black underprivileged, underserved. He's the subject and the producer of a gorgeous documentary called A Beautiful Thing. He wrote a book by the same title and when he was in high school with like no future, some guy showed up in his high school hallway with a rowing machine and was like, I want to start like the first black rowing team or the first black crew. Do any of you guys want to do it? And he was like, yes, I absolutely want to do it. And he now has become this ambassador teaching rowing all over the world in South Africa. And his letter.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “What I think people will find, one of the biggest questions people have is, well, it's just feels like it's just me writing to me. It feels super artificial. I don't feel like I'm hearing God's voice. I don't feel like I'm believing that there's this eternal source in the universe that's completely loving and unconditionally adores me. I just feel like I'm doing this exercise of just writing words to myself. And that doesn't feel spiritual and it doesn't feel rich and it doesn't feel real. And the question I have heard is, what's so bad about that? What if it is just you? What if all it is is just you writing to yourself from a kinder voice within you? Wouldn't that be worthy enough to be slightly life-changing besides the terrorist who lives inside your head constantly telling you how you failed? Like, why not change the channel in your own house? And if that's all it is, and what if God...”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “They're adorable. And that's very hard for some people because the idea of turning toward yourself as though you are worthy of endearment. Can be really hard for especially perfectionists and the most driven among us. Like, you didn't earn, how did you earn sweet love? You didn't earn that. But this is a kind of love that doesn't have to be earned. So you start with that. And then so the way I did it the first night I did it was I literally just wrote what I wish somebody would say to me. And that's pretty straightforward as an instruction because you know what you wish somebody would say to you. You know how you want to be loved. You know how you want to be loved. It's right there. Like, you know what you're dying for? We all know what we're dying for, whether it's mother love or the missing father or the partner or the like somebody who's just like, I've got you, I see you. I see you. I love you. You're amazing to me. I see that you're suffering. I'm with you and you're suffering. And then you just write that. But over time.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “Right, and your opening statement is Dear love, what would you have me know today? And then the other thing that I've seen suggested in two-way prayer practice, and this kind of came intuitively to me, but I see that it's taught this way when people teach it, is the first line back to you from the divine should be an endearment, an affectionate nickname, my love, my child, my sweetheart, my little one. I hear little one a lot, my little one, my angel, honeyhead. I've seen some of my friends have like tiny turtle, penguin cheeks, you know, like some sort of endearment.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “It's like, well, yeah, but you say that you love me, but yeah, but it's like part of the reason that two-way prayer is so beautiful is that you ask the question and then you stop talking.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “Song of myself from Walt Woman, which is essentially just a big letter from Love. You can just open that up to any page and you read some of it. And I feel like those writers had direct access to the divine, and they left the door open when they died, right? So you can just draft in on the sense that they create. So you read something that opens your heart in some way. And then you ask one question and one question only. It's not a deposition. And it's not a dialogue because the ego always wants a dialogue, like the ego always wants, I feel like if I could reduce my ego down to two words, it would be yabut. It's always got a follow up question.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “There's something I want to say. And so I would suggest if people are interested in this, you can look up two way prayer because there are a lot of people teaching it. And they have made a sort of, what were you saying is they're like a practice or like instructions. Like they have found that certain things work really well. So I'm sort of quoting from kind of two-way prayer theory on this. The first one is that you can open up the channel by reading something. So go to a quiet place, although at this point I've done it so long, like I can do it in an Uber, you know, but like go to a quiet place and read something that to you feels holy. So it doesn't have to be any official religious text, poetry works for me better than scripture. So the poems of Hafiz or Rumi or Mary Oliver or Walt Whitman, you know, I kept like life.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “I found out that what I was doing, there's a name for it. And it's actually a long spiritual tradition for people to do things like this. But it's a practice that's very common in 12-step recovery and it's called two-way prayer. So it's essentially two-way prayer. So I call it love, and sometimes I call it God for a lot of people, that word God is a weapon. I mean, especially people who grew up in what are called high demand religions or who grew up in really oppressive religious cultures or abusive religious cultures or for whom they simply cannot stomach that word, like obviously don't use that word. But two-way prayer, so one way prayer is what most people are taught as prayer, which is a supplication. You get down on your knees. And I had done that in my life and like begged for help. But sometimes you spend so much time begging for help.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “Even talking about it now, I can feel the impact that it has on my nervous system to hear those words even in my own voice. And it was the first experience I'd ever had with unconditional love. I'd never heard anybody say like, you don't need, I don't need you to be anything. You don't have to do better. Like this is fine. This is great. You on the bathroom floor in a pile of tears and snot, it's great. It's great. That's fine. We love you just like that. And that's so nourishing because it's so the opposite of every message that I've ever heard. And so I started doing that practice. And it's taken me through. I've never had difficult times in the last 20 years, but I've never gone as low again as I went at that time because this is the net that catches me routinely before I can get that low. And that voice doesn't change.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “Ever uplift your spirits, you could end up living in a box under a bridge in a garbage bag spitting at people. And I would love you just as much as I do now. The love that I have for you cannot be lost because it's innate. It's yours. I have no requirements for it. And if you need to stay up all night crying, I'll be here with you. And if tomorrow you have a garbage day again because you've been up all night crying, I'll be there for that too. I'll be here for every minute of it. Just ask me to come and I'll be here with you. And the assistant”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “Where I'm told what to do. This is what you're going to focus on. Here's what you need to do now. And I was given this instruction and it came in as clearly as I'm talking to you. And it said, get up, get a notebook and write to yourself the words that you most wish that somebody would say to you. Because there was a great loneliness that I was feeling too, as well as the shame. And that letter began, you know, what that letter said was, I've got you, I'm with you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you exactly the way you are. You can't fail at this. Like you can't do this wrong. I don't need anything from you. This is a huge thing to hear. I don't need anything. Talk about no cherished outcome. I don't need anything from you. You don't have to improve. You don't have to do life better. You don't have to win. You don't have to get out of this depression. You don't have to.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “I'm not allowing it. I will make you put you in so much physical pain that you're going to have to notice that this is not the life for you. But I was also in so much shame of failure and letting people down and like, we just want this house. Like I just felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Like, I don't know why I can't just get in line and do this thing that everybody's saying to do. Anyway, that marriage ended. And then I threw myself into another relationship and that ended. And I was like, I don't know how to orchestrate my life at all. And nothing, here I am 30 years old and nothing is what I had planned it to be five years ago. And I was in the deepest depression of my life. And I didn't have much of spiritual life at that point. But I remember waking up one night and just shame and getting an instruction. I mean, that's the only way I can explain it. And I'm comfortable with that language because I often have that happen in my creative life.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “It started in desperation when I was going through my first divorce, I was 30. And the well-laid out planned life that I had created very obediently, like I had done just what my culture had told me to do. I got married at 24 and worked hard and bought a house and made a plan to have a family. And then instead of having a family, I had a nervous breakdown like quite literally. Everybody was moving in this one direction and my entire intellectual, spiritual, and physical system collapsed, which I now know, I now see that as an act of God. I now see that there was sort of the Tao, you know, that there is a force that was trying to communicate to me, this is not your path. I will kill you before I let you do this. I will kill you before I let you be a suburban housewife.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “I need a guy who thinks I'm funny, like who thinks I'm adorable and funny. Like, I need that. I can't be too beaten up by a higher power.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “It put me into an awestruck state, and I remember coming home. Wanting to replicate that state and trying to figure out if I could build a cathedral in my bedroom with stuff from my dad's woodshed and my mom's sewing kit. Like I really did try to. I'm like, how do you do, how do you make that? How do you make something that feels like that? And I think writing for me and my pursuit of writing and the arts was always driven by this sense of awe and wonder and mystery that something was moving through me. That was probably my first direct communication with it. But for the last 20 years, I've had a practice nearly every single day of writing myself a letter every morning from unconditional love, which is kind of a god presence. It's a little bit more specific, the unconditional love thing, because I think God is more than that. But that's where I also hear direction and guidance and humor. Yeah, I need a very funny God. I'm not going to do well with a God that's too serious”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “Talking about God that much. Like, it was more of a social gathering. I think New Englanders are a little bit reticent in terms of being too heavy on the message. You know, like we sang songs and made crafts and I don't remember it having very much to do with God. But I had a God awareness that was very powerful in me. And I remember going to the National Cathedral on a school trip when I was 10 in Washington, D.C. And yeah, I grew up on a farm, so I grew up with very rustic architecture and to go from, I mean, that cathedral did what cathedrals are meant to do to medieval peasants to me, you know, like.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “It's deepened. I think one of the things I'm so lucky about my friend Rob Bell once said to me, You're so lucky you didn't grow up with an enforced religion, and I'm so fortunate about that. I went to church like a nice little mellow New England church most Sundays as a kid, but I don't recall anybody.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “Because I believe that I am loved beyond measure by magnificent, complex, amused God who has given me power over practically nothing. Really, like very little that I have control over. What tiny amount I have control over is extremely important. It reminds me of something a friend of mine who was a physicist said one time that very little of the universe is matter, very little. But what there is is very important. And it's like that, I think, with control and power. Like I have very little control, have very little power, even over my own mechanism and my own being. But what little agency I have, I think it's important to use it well. But anyway, talk to that presence all the time and I am in a nearly constant dialogue with it and I hear it talking to me. So that's why I say I hear a loving presence saying it's really hard. It's really hard”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “Complex human mechanism into my field, you know, then I've got to like adapt to their chemistry and to their, like, it's hard. I don't know. And I think it's hard is a really good way to start with self-compassion.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “History, like with, it's so strange. It's like I'm sure you, oh, I don't want to project this on you, but maybe you had this experience as a kid. I haven't remember as a kid looking at myself in the mirror and being like, I'm in here. Like, it's so weird. Am I doing in here? And all of that is out there, and I'm in here, something's inside of this experience. And it's really hard. So I think you have to start with that. Who told you you were supposed to get it right straight out of the gate? Like who told you you were supposed to get it right seven out of seven days or that you're constantly supposed to be improving like a Fortune 500 company constantly going in this upward angle direction a certain percentage every quarter There's billions of systems operating within your body alone hormonal systems and chemical systems and”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “Another word for that is who are you blaming your life on today Well, I think the only honest and humble answer that I can give to that question is I don't know. I don't know where that line is, but it's easier for me when I'm not in a relationship. And it's simpler for me to say, okay, I can take some accountability for my own weather system. But as you say, I don't want to beat myself up about having weather. And I have to constantly remind myself that, I mean, I think the most compassionate thing that I say to myself or I hear said to myself all the time from a more loving presence is it is a very difficult thing to have a human incarnation. This is not an easy ride. Even a good life is a hard life. And it's so weird. It's so profoundly weird to be a consciousness dropped into a particular body, dropped into a particular family, arriving at a particular moment.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “I felt kind of not right. You know, it was like, oh, I haven't been with anybody in five years, and I felt not right when I woke up this morning and there's no one to pin it on. It's so great. I love it. It's like, I love not having anyone to pin it on. I hate pinning things on people, but I don't seem to know how to not do it once we're in a romantic relationship. She come with a warning.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “I think that my thing has always been, and this is why it's been so interesting for me being single and celibate by choice over the last five years. There's nobody to blame, which is so great. And I think that it's that the minute somebody is attached to me as my partner, I do this weird outer body thing where I hold them responsible for whatever mood I'm in. And so if I'm feeling great, it's because they're the greatest. And if I'm feeling terrible, it's because they're the worst. And it's so unfair. And one of the really beautiful and educational things about spending a lot of time alone is like, oh, these mood cycles and these depressions and these euphorias are happening. This is like a weather system that's happening that isn't related to anybody. And it turns out all those years when I was analyzing those poor people in my relationships and holding them to account for the fact that”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “Relationship becomes a romantic relationship, I have a list as long as my arm of cherished outcomes and all of a sudden I can be disappointed and all of a sudden I don't bring an undefended heart to our meeting place but with friendships which I have over time discovered to be actually the true loves of my life, I seem to be a little bit better at taking responsibility for myself and trying not to put outcomes on people.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “It's my highest aspiration that that Poem and that spirit is the foundational agreement of my friendships. And I say those words, I have no cherished outcome a lot to my friends. And I hope that I mean it. And when I start feeling hurt or resentful or excluded or misunderstood, I'm like sometimes the only way you can find out that you had a cherished outcome is when you didn't get it. Like sometimes I discover that where I'm like, I think I'm just easy, breezy, and I'm just hanging out. And then I'm like, oh, I had a secret hidden cherished outcome because something didn't happen that I wanted. And now I'm all like bent about it. So now I get to examine my resentment and ask myself whether I really want to honor. I have no cherished outcome or whether I want to sulk. I seem to be better at no cherished outcome in friendships than I am in romantic relationships, almost the minute.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “It's called the Celtic Poem of Approach. And as well as I understand it, these are lines that were spoken when you're meeting new people and when you're moving out of one area into another tribe's area or you're going to be interacting with people in a new way, this beautiful poem of approach that I really love. And I'm probably not going to get the whole thing right, but it says something like, I will honor your gods, I will drink from your well. I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place. I will not negotiate by withholding. I am not subject to disappointment. I have no cherished outcome.”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “Oh God I mean it's already a home run just getting to sit here and talk to you and I know it hasn't been easy for our schedules to figure out when we can do this so I'm just happy and relaxed to be here and I'm also not concerned that you and I will ever have any trouble finding things to talk about so that was part of it but the no cherished outcome is actually a line from a translation of a Celtic poem”

    2024-09-25 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #770: Elizabeth Gilbert — How to Set Strong Boundaries, Overcome Purpose Anxiety, and Find Your Deep Inner Voice · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT