YouSaid · the spoken record

Evy Poumpouras

lines on the record: 183
first: 2025-09-25
most recent: 2025-09-25
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“And when I walked into an interview or interrogation, it was not delusional to think that I'm going to walk in and I'm going to tell this person, hey, I'm part of the good guys. I just want, you know, to protect people and America, you know, we're really just trying to do the right thing. This is a person, his iceberg, that was set for years. He's thought a certain way. He developed who he was thirty, forty years old, whatever it is. This is who he is, and I'm going to roll in what? And get you to change your whole mindset? I knew who I had. I accepted who I had. I didn't try to change the narrative. Oh no, I'm this, oh no, I'm that. I didn't do any of that. But my goal was what am I trying to get to? I was like, well, I need information on the next attack. I need to know where the next weapons are coming in. I need to thwart this. So I need to get him talking. And that's what I'm looking for. I'm not trying to change.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Who says I'm right? I say I'm right based on my own value system. But people are vastly different. How people see things and what they think is right or wrong it's not the same. So I accept people as they are and I respect them. I may not want to hang out with them because it's just not the circle of people I want to be. But I also how narcissistic is it of me to think I'm going to roll in and change you. It's kind of like I did interviews, interrogations on terrorists.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think it's wrong, said To do that to people, especially if they're showing you repeatedly, I don't want you to do this leave me alone. And you also to Stephen, whether you agree with people's lifestyle choices or not, it is their life, it is not yours. And so I think that there's also something a bit arrogant when we think we're going to roll in, and let me tell you how I should live. My values and your values could be vastly different. So who am I to impose how I think you should be? Who says I'm right?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of the reason you're having these issues is because you can't accept the truth, the majority of people struggle 99.9% of people are not adaptable because they don't live in truth. What's the true problem you have? Accept it, then decide, okay, now where do I go from here? But people don't accept the truth. It's how I wish it could be, how I would like it to be, how it was, how it could be. No, what am I dealing with right now doesn't mean you have to like it, and this is not agreement. She doesn't have to agree with this lifestyle. But it's accepting, this is who he is. Now my choice is, do I stay or do I go how much of a pain is this for you?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Can you intervene? And does he want you to intervene? He doesn't want her to intervene. And so what matters to you most you want to keep doing this all day long?'Cause that's what she's doing to the point where she's crying when I'm coming off stage. Or do you accept this is him? This is him. I love him? I can't change him. I accept him as he is. Now am I willing to adapt to the truth of what my relationship is and stay married and be okay or not? She's the one who needed to adapt, but she couldn't adapt because she wasn't living in truth. It's like looking at it this way. Your partner's cheating on you and you don't want to know, you don't want to hear it. Right? And but you're unhappy you're having all these issues.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because she's not seeing the truth in her problem, meaning this is who he is fundamentally. You've been trying for years to change him. And you're trying to make your life better to the point where you're emotionally upset, like she was so upset about it. And I said, but you're trying to solve something that you can't solve. This is a whole other person, this iceberg, this bottom part. He's not, he doesn't want it. He's fixed. What's happening is this is called adaptability. We want to adapt to our problems. She's not adopting to her problem. She's not accepting what her problem is. The problem is this is my husband, this is who he is, and this is who he wants to be.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's the thing what she's trying to do is change him, make him fit, so that she can have what she wants. Wrong she's trying to solve the wrong problem. He's not changing. This is it, this is what you've got. The question now is, I accept my problem, I live in truth, this is how my husband wants to be Can I adapt my lifestyle so that I can still stay with him? Or is that a big of a deal breaker where I have to pull away? She was asking the wrong question.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I said, sure, what is it? Are you okay? She said, I have a husband And I've done everything I can to try to get him to change. And I want to try to use these influence strategies on him to change him that you talked about. Could you help guide me? I said, how long have you been dealing with this? She's like, over a long time, years. I said, does he want to change? No. She's like, but I try and I don't want to give up. I said, did you see that park where the part where I talked about the iceberg? Remember, I showed you the iceberg and I said accept people as they are? I said He's the iceberg. I said, It's not him that's the issue now, it's you. You're not accepting what you have in front of you. That's what he is. Unless you accept you can't adapt, so what you're doing is you're not living in truth. You're living in what I hope he would be what he has a potential to be, but not where he actually is now. When you accept where he is now, this is who he is, this is who he wants to be. The next question is, can you adapt to that, meaning, are you okay with that adapting to his life?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your experiences, your dramas, your traumas, all those things make you who you are, your values, your belief systems, your personality. Do you know that personality in a human being forms an infancy? So all these things make you up, even your age, who you are today is probably vastly different, Stephen, than who you were five years ago versus ten years ago versus fifteen years ago. That's somebody's iceberg. So when you take all of that, you have that iceberg. Do you think you're going to roll in and within what? A couple hours or couple conversations, you're going to get them to what shift? That's what you're up against. So often people become very upset because they can't change other people. And that's where I'm like, accept what you had. I give a keynote. Literally this week, and a woman came to me in tears at the end. This was at a business conference. So this was for business, for communication, and a very different thing, but she came up to me afterward. She said, I really want a guidance.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want you to think of it this way of an iceberg. Think of an iceberg. You see the top of the iceberg, the little blip at the top of the water, and then the big part underneath, which is the vast majority of what makes an iceberg. We're like that. When you see another human being, I want you to think of like got this huge bottom portion of this iceberg that you don't see. And it's who makes them what they are. The things that make you who you are today are all the things that have accumulated over the entire time span of your life. Family is a huge one. Did you have family? Were they good family? Did you have one parent, both parents? Did you have any parents, right? A friend, who are your friends growing up? Who are your friends now?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We think about sometimes the attention you get. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's so sad. That can become addicting because you're constantly looking for it. But again, I've come to accept people as they are. I also look at who am I to tell you to be different? If this is where you like to live and how you like to live, live it. I think where it becomes a problem for folks is when it bleeds into your own life. So like with the mom where she had that moment where she's like, I don't want to do this anymore because it's impacting my life, then I can understand that because she's like, I don't want to participate in this. But I just have found like...”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How did you build your whole livelihood present day around that small event? But that was his identity. I remember thinking, I'm like, I did the interview and I had to go. I was like, I can't be around this. Because he was just so self focused on how bad that experience was that everything he did and who he was to the point where you have tattoos on your body of the World Trade Center. And I'm thinking, how is this helping you move forward?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was injured when I was welding, something kind of fell on my foot. And as a result, I had to go on some kind of disability. And I said, what happened to your foot? And I think he had lost his toe or something, his pinky. And I said, okay. And I said, how long were you there? Three days. I said, were you there for the day of the event? No. So you went out there for the day of the event. So your exposure to nine eleven was three days, and then you got injured. Yes. Okay. So I'm clocking this internally to myself. His whole life was centered about around the drama, the trauma, the overcoming 9-11. Everything was 9-11, 9-11, 9-11. And it was such an identity space. He was so, it was all like such a horrible thing for him. And I'm thinking It wasn't to minimize, but I'm thinking.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Today. So I go with my camera person or the producer, I can't remember. We go to set up to interview this person. So I've had my own experience with 9-11. I worked on the World Trade Center. That's where New York Field Office was. I was there on that day. I lost colleagues and friends. But this person knows nothing about this. So I show up and I'm getting them ready. And we're talking. And there's this big tower tattoo, the towers, 9-11 tattoo as I'm micing up the person, the towers. There was a room in the home that had all this 9-11 memorabilia, like a whole room. And I remember being there thinking, okay, this person must have had some really serious trauma exposure. And I'm not trying to minimize. So I spoke to them, this person, and he had some kind of injury as well. And I said, oh, tell me about it. Well, I was there.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So unless somebody comes to you and I've learned this lesson and says, Stephen, I want your advice, I wouldn't give it. One, you're going to be exhausted, you're doing so many things. You don't have that ability. Two, the person's not they're not there to hear it. So you also have to have someone who wants your guidance or advice. So even when I did mentor sessions or consultations, there probably like several times where I knew, I was like, this is a waste of my time. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to give you a full refund. I'm not for you. Because I understood. I'm like, this person isn't, they're not registering. It didn't remind me of a story. I remember once I was doing a news story and I went and I interviewed somebody who was part of the cleanup efforts for 9-11, right? September 11th cleanup efforts. And he was doing all this stuff, you know, present day to help victims of 9-11.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, because did he or she ask you? They don't want it, and you might end up upsetting them anyway. They might get even angrier from it. Because they're in a space where they're so emotional and self-focused and they want to live there. Do you know too, when you sit in your ruminate, like you it activates parts of the brain that make you feel alive? Think of it this way. You get like, you get hits. You know how you get dopamine hits? I feel good from certain things. Well, you get a hit even when you're angry or upset. You ever get so upset or angry and you get worked up? What adrenaline hit? I'm here, I'm there. That feels good too, said It's a different type of feel, but I feel present. I feel this. I feel like I feel something.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So you reminded me of a story which I'll tell you. But here's the thing if you're looking for a problem, you will always find one. You will always find a problem. And that's the thing. So it's the mindset.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want some of it, so what do I do? I look for something else to be a problem so I can get more empathy, more sympathy, more attention, and so there are people that get stuck in that cycle. Good people. I know good people who get stuck in that cycle, but I'm also aware of them because every time I speak to them, something's not right. I can't help them. I don't even bother trying to help them. One, they don't really ask me. And so I'm very aware I don't give unsolicited advice. It's wrong. It's not my place. And if they want it, they'll ask. And then even then I'm always very aware. Is this even going to land on this person? Because I'm coming back to meet my bathtub's full. So I can't really invest all that energy in you if it's, I don't mean it to be cold, but if it's a waste of time.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They want me to validate how they feel. That's what they want. They don't want a solution. If everything's the problem, think of it this way. If every bar I go to, I get into fight, into a fight, it's not the bar. So when someone's like, I have this problem, this problem, this problem, this problem, this problem, they're so set in who and how they are, they want to stay there. Often people do want an audience. Often people do want to be told, I'm so sorry. I feel so bad that happened to you. Sometimes too, when bad things happen to us, we get a lot of attention as a result. Let's say something really horrific happens. And I've seen it with somebody, maybe you had a severe illness or lost a loved one. When you're dealing with something like that, what happens, right? Immediately people come to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They're there to support you. So you get this bombardment of attention. You feel good. But then eventually people move on with their lives. And then you get addicted to, where did all that attention go?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so this is great. So, this is probably a person that you cannot help, number one. Because everything's bad. Everything is bad. And you'll get those from time to time. You get those. Everything's a problem, and if everything's a problem, right now, if you get that persona, which it does exist, it's you get'em. That person doesn't want a solution.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I guess I would say, and again, I would see this from I've done hundreds of mentor sessions. I would tell them, where are you right now? What do you do now? And what do you want to change now?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He doesn't want to sit and figure out what he's gonna wear. It's a decision he didn't have to make. That keeps his bathtub light. Think about all the decisions he had to make every single day. I want a light bathtub Boop Take that thing out. Lighten your bathtub so when you're overthinking and over analyzing and trying to process all the stuff, you are maxing out that bathtub. So how can you perform? You don't have infinite resources. You don't have an infinite cognitive load and you do not have an infinite emotional load. Don't keep adding, your job is to take out so that the things you do you do exceptionally well emotionally stable.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“From making bad decisions. You make good decisions. There's something called decision fatigue, where the more stuff I add we think, the busier I am, the better I am. I'm moving, I'm hustling, I'm doing all this stuff. Look how maxed out I am. Just because you're busy, it doesn't mean you're being productive. Those two things are not synonymous. So often people think leaders keep adding, adding, no, you know what? Good leaders do? And this is what, again, I've learned, they take out of that bathtub. They take out. What can I do less of so I can be exceptional at the other things I do? Really great example. This is public knowledge so I can share it. Prison Barack Obama. He had 30 of the same suits. Why? Why do you think? Thirty of the same exact suits.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Your brain is like a bathtub. Your cognitive load is like a bathtub. Think of this as a bathtub. If you have a bathtub, the bathtub can only hold so much water. If you keep watering water in the bathtub, right, it's going to overflow. That's your cognitive load. So if I have my cognitive load, my bathtub, and I keep putting water, water, water, it's going to overflow. It's the same thing when you put stuff in there. I'm going to add more stuff and more stuff and more stuff. Your cognitive load is overflowing. It's maxed. You're inefficient. You're sloppy. You're not getting things done right. If you are, you're just barely getting there. You're everywhere. You're stressed out. You're frazzled because you're maxed out. You're beyond maxed out. So everything I do, and I will tell you, I learned this from watching presidents. I keep my load light. My bathtub only holds the water and needs to hold in. So it protects you from over extending yourself, stressing yourself.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Can I ask you a question? Why does it matter? I don't understand why we have to psychoanalyze everything we do. I feel we waste so much time in trying to figure out I'm like this today because of this, this and this. Sometimes I have found there's no clear reason why There's nothing to make sense of. Even sometimes when people try to assess why does this person treat me this way? Why that? What did I do? Why this? Sometimes there are reasons. And sometimes that person's just an asshole. There's nothing analyzed, there's nothing to figure out, there's nothing to dive deep on. That person, you just happen to fall on an asshole. And that's okay. Let's move on. So there's moments where that exists too, but I feel like we try so hard to figure it out that we do more damage. And, you know, like, I.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Three sessions Three sessions because my goal is if I keep you coming back to me then I'm not helping you all I'm doing is reorienting you to come to me I'm gonna fix it for you My goal was always no you have the ability I might need to kind of shift things around or shake things up a little bit in your mindset but in the end you are very well capable most people are they just don't learn they just don't know how to trust themselves”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm a result of what's happened to me, and that's a powerless state to be, which all it does is keep suppressing you down. So you just stay there. Instead of saying, you know, it happened to you, okay, now where do we go from here? And it's wild because I did consultations and mentor sessions for window of time. And I would only do either one or three. I wouldn't do more than that because the most important thing I didn't want people to rely on me. It's like I'll come in and I'll give you some guide posts. But my goal is not to make you reliant on me to keep coming back to me. Three was the max I would do with someone no more than that.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's not your fault that you don't trust people. This happened to you here. And so Because that theme's been going on for so long, what it does is it renders you powerless. Because it's saying, you're this way because of all this other stuff, and it's not your fault. And that translates to you I have no power over it.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It seems to me that people are tired of being told that they have no control over the outcome of their lives and no control over their relationships. Because when you tell people it's not your fault this happened to you and it's okay that you're this way, which it is, I think people don't want to stay there anymore. And so people look to, I don't have to be weak all the time or I don't have to feel weak. You can have a weak moment. It's not the same thing with feeling fundamentally weak or insecure or insignificant all the time and then looking at a moment or a situation or moments in your life and saying I'm this way now because of all these things that happened. And I think for a while that worked. I think for a while people were buying it because it's like, it's not your fault like you're like this. Now this happened to you here.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I get bombarded on all social media platforms and an email and it's always like Evie I have this problem please help me and it can range from I have a problem communicating to I'm in an abusive relationship, to my brother was murdered, and they're saying it's a suicide. It's not. So I get everything. And I think what I'm seeing is There are a lot of people that are not doing well.”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've been around very confident people and they had a really good circle around them, inner circle. Because if you're exposing yourself to people and environments that are not good for you, that will actually impact your life negatively. You know, I always say be careful who you try to save. Some people will drown you. And then the other thing I would see President Stewart is they were very good at delegating, so they didn't need to know everything because confident people are okay with not knowing all the information. So your brain is like a bathtub. The bathtub can only hold so much water. If you keep watering water in the bathtub, it's going to overflow. That's your cognitive load. My bathtub only holds the water and needs to hold in. And another thing with the secret service taught us is that it's really important to use your hands because when people don't see hands, it's a sign of untrustworthiness. Like you can't trust them. So when you see hands open hands, I'm no threat. And then there's communication skills, manipulation tactics, and a strategy to make good decisions. And I will go through them with the two most important things are”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. So I've been around former Seals, U.S. Secret Service president, and I learned a lot about communication, reading people, confidence. And I'll share these things. So first of all,”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Don't bring your authentic self to work. I want your professional self. You can bring authentic self to Thanksgiving meal with your family if you'd like to. Your authentic self is about who? Me, me, me, me, me. Everything is what's happening to me. What's in it for me? Do you know that you impact on other people? You affect other people's lives? You make the work environment easier or more taxing?”
2025-09-25 · The Diary of a CEO · Secret Agent (Evy Poumpouras): Never Be Yourself At Work! Authenticity Is Quietly Sabotaging You! - Evy Poumpouras · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT