YouSaid · the spoken record

James Bay

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125

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2022-08-04

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2022-08-04

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1. “You know, I do think that they thought I really wanted. Kind of things I've achieved. Do think that they believed I wanted this stuff. And I think they saw that in how I went about my day I remember a friend of mine who's still such a good friend of mine, We learned to play guitar together. Me and Tom, who I mentioned, who plays bass in my band and Matt and my brother Alex and we were all playing guitars at the same time, learning to do this, that and the other. Me and Matt, we were doing our GCSEs and we were in like a biology class. We did the same science class. We were talking. And Matt is a brilliant, beautiful soul who is sort of, he's a total party animal, but he's wonderfully sort of earnest in his own way as well.”

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2. “Before anybody had thought about what anybody was doing with idle time, they were already being told not to waste it. That was, yeah, in my wider circle as a kid around my family and my family friends and friends of friends, that was the energy So there was like a pressure. And there was, of course, yeah, a narrative that said. Just sits around all the time. He's so lazy. Not directly to me necessarily, but if anybody was doing any sitting around of any kind, for any prolonged amount of time, lazy guy. So it was a negative thing, and And I felt a pressure and a sort of self consciousness. Need to stay away from that, while all the while I absolutely kind of craved it for being a creative kid who wanted to draw and paint and explore music.”

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3. “Is that it was that was part of the language of who and what I grew up around. Yeah, like I say, like, we didn't, we weren't a sort of. We weren't like a particularly wealthy family. Neither were any of the sort of friends that my family had or everyone was somewhere between working class and sort of just about middle class. But I felt a lot of penny pinching all the time, partly because of what my parents come from, so how they operate. And it felt like middle class. Came later in life. Think my parents are there now, but like that's slightly sort of besides the point. What I mean is. Time was precious. You had to the language around Idle time was, you know, don't waste it.”

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4. “Hey, you just do you for a bit. That was incredibly generous given now I know what it's like to be a first time parent and it takes a village Still, an hour into that time, I knew I was an hour into that time because I'd looked at the clock. I didn't need to, but I still carry it. Fucking frustrat”

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5. “Some people do pronounce it Adda. They do much better. I learned this, but. Lucy went out, took Ada out the other day. Because Lucy's the absolute greatest She was like, it'll just give you a load of time to just. I could tell, you know, next to you, and think about the things that you sort of, you see what I'm getting at. She just gave me.”

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6. “My parents Anybody trying to stop me doing it? Part of my conscience because I have a conscience that feels guilty. If I'm looking at the clock all the time, it made me a very punctual person. But I also look at the clock out of paranoia. How much time have we got? How much time have I got? And it shouldn't matter at all to creativity that. But I find myself doing it all the time. You know, I have a baby now. We have a nine-month-old daughter.”

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7. “Yeah, I wanted to, if I could say people think I'm really good at this, then I could have a reason. For why I should be allowed any amount of time to focus on them.”

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8. “I don't know. Well, I know it's dangerous territory is what I wanted to say. I know now as an adult that that's dangerous territory because there's enjoying things and being really good at them. And then there's a difference between that and whatever somebody decides is the best why One theory as to why, one of my theories, I suppose, just as I think about it now. is that I could maybe then sort of validate idle time I think I really enjoyed. And to this day, I really enjoy. Having an endless amount of time and space to create. And I'll throw that thing about being the fastest runner sort of off the table for a minute because it doesn't really sort of relate to the context of. The other things I loved them that have sort of fed through into my life now. Why did I worry about that stuff?”

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9. “No, Insecurities. I had an insecurity. So in school, in like primary school, is it a young kid? I was a fast runner. I was good at drawing and painting. I had a selection of things that I was good at. And like the talk in the classrooms that I was the best at running, I was one of the best at football. I was the best at drawing. And I'm not fully sure how That started quickly to really matter to me, to the point that as far as what insecurities did I have? I think back About the worries that I heard about, well, what if one day I'm not the fastest? And what if somebody draws something better than me? And I hate to admit that. And I don't know why I felt those things. I had an ambition and a drive that wanted to. Really, really good at these things And as a kid, yeah, I wanted to sort of be able to feel like I was the best”

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10. “And getting something from the playing, then you're not spending your time. You could be helping me. You could be doing this. You could be doing that. Is there some homework you haven't done? And yeah, there probably was like hundreds of bits of homework I hadn't done, but I was already so into trying to write a song or get better at playing the guitar or being creative in some other way that of course I was pushing the homework under the rug. But unfortunately, even that small sort of pressure that I felt then has ended up as like so many, like you say, you've met so many creative people who feel that sort of guilt. It has heightened the sense of guilt. So it's a strange one to juggle I find myself fighting against it. And that's really inconvenient to what I'm trying to do A passion and actually for a living suddenly.”

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11. “It's a huge, huge part of it. It's probably 95% of the reason why it ever works, if it ever works. 95% of it is about having not watching a clock. There not being any sort of consequence. And I put hundreds of consequences on myself. We all do. But as soon as you do those things, the quality starts to sort of lessen. So, yeah, it didn't help that experience when I was a kid of my mum sort of going, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you're not, you know, it was almost, if you're not, if I don't see you kind of.”

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12. “I remember David Gilmore in Pink Floyd said, every time I sit down, guitar in hand to write a song in that really creative mood, I want to write a song and I'm going to, and it's going to be great. Nothing comes. It is generally that way. So it's quickly a long time ago, it quickly made me understand and sort of cherish the opportunity to sit around with the tools nearby. And just exist, and think and dream, and think. Play, by which I mean play guitar, play music, but just play.”

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13. “Einstein perfect. Einstein's wife said to him, What are you doing? He was looking out the window. He said, I'm working And that was it. And it's perfect for a creative that because it's bang on. If I'm staring out the window into space as the rest of us might say. It just looks like I'm staring in space. But I'm probably having an idea for a song or a lyric or working something over in my head. I find it hard to say that stuff to you or anybody without worrying that I sound pretentious or like a bit of a dick. But I know that's the experience. When I was a kid, Thinking about something I wanted to draw, whatever it may have been, and having some of this idle time. Like I say, my mum was like on me. Like, no, that's not okay. So maybe that's why I'm sort of concerned even now. Like a pretentious idiot.”

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14. “Professionally kind of creative and wound up in a position where I can sort of call that my job, that it's very important to be staring out the window. There was some quote, I can't remember who said it, and somebody told me at the other day and I haven't got any sort of reference names for you, sorry, but a guy said.”

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15. “Almost against the odds, basically, it helped me become who I am today and it helped feed my creative. Everything. What do I mean by that? My mum's the type of person who so when I was a kid in the house, you know, if I was. Having some idle time. Another way to say that is if I wasn't doing anything middle of the afternoon. Be on me like you know straight away, or my brother, like, what are you doing? You can't do nothing You could tidy your room, you could come and clean this thing for me. You could go out the back garden and do this thing for me, or you could do that. What do you mean you're doing nothing? That's a vivid memory And it's not unfair. I respect it in certain ways, but I know at this point, someone who's sort of”

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16. “Know, if James wants to buy guitar strings because he's snapping them off his guitar off the time, then I can't. He's like, I can't keep paying for that Which I respect. I didn't know at the time Dad and my mum. But also because my dad had had jobs as a kid, you know, helping someone, a corner shop or something, heartily believed in that and was trying to instill that in us from clearly, you know, very early on because whatever our hobby might have been, he's like, I don't want to have to fund it. I understand that. We don't come from money. You know, my mum was sometimes working and sometimes not because, you know, she was being a stay-at-home mum half the time. But my dad was bringing in the Big Bit that paid for the family to sort of exist. Yeah, so he was.”

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17. “He was definitely like, there's a job at the market. Like, so and so's kid is working down at the market. Go and ask him how he got the job. Try and get the other shift. And I did. I got that shift. My brother got that one of the shifts as well. And at 13 in January, at 4 a.m. I was on my bike on the way to the market in the dark. Shiver my nut I remember anxiety dreams that I would have before getting up for that because as a teenager, I just wanted to be asleep for hours and hours and hours. And you're supposed to, like, we know more about that now. It's really good for teenagers to get as much sleep as they can. The kids of any age, but teenagers apparently, very important. My dad didn't know any of that. Not interested.”

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18. “Well, one thing my dad and both my parents said a lot about and kind of required of me was that I would do something to earn some money. And actually, go back to I was 12 or 13. When they first said pocket money's done. And I think I know a lot of kids who are getting that till sort of 16 at the time. Some of them longer. Because there were various kids whose parents weren't, they didn't need their kids to get a job. Just wanted their kids to be kids and have a nice time. And I guess it's not that my parents didn't want me to have a nice time, but from like 12 years old, they were like, there are jobs you can get as a paper round. There's this, there's that. And there was a, my dad, who had loved music and going to see music live since he was, you know, much younger, since way before me and my brother came along.”

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19. “The one and a half times in the early early days that I kind of went, oh, I don't know if I want to play guitar actually, it's probably a bit hard. They weren't like, oh. And they weren't saying try harder then. They were just like, okay.”

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20. “Energy, her energy was like, okay, if you're into it, do it and do it. Mean it. Go on. Like it was with a bit of a smile. It wasn't like it was encouraging and I got on board with it. But ultimately, it was like, if you're going to give it a shot, don't do it by half. At, and she'd name any one of my heroes. Or any one of her heroes musically. My parents are big music fans. She said, Look at what they give it. Got to give it that. And without quite saying it, she was saying. You have to be believable. It's all like an act So affectionate. They were encouraging and they were excited by, for example, when I got into music and wanting to play an instrument and performing and all that, they were excited about it, I think. They weren't like if I wasn't into it, they weren't, you know, if.”

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21. “In a kind of I want to say wartime way, stiff up a lip kind of way. My dad. Older than other dads. Still a great dad, but he might, you know, he was 42 when I was born. He's nearly 75. And he comes from like very, well, his parents were, you know, his dad was fine, fighter planes in the Second World War. Most of My friends, parents. Parents, parents. Like, there's another generation usually involved, whereas for me, it was my dad's dad who was doing that. So my parents come from this, you've asked if they were affectionate. They were affectionate in their sort of steely way. It wasn't... It wasn't Sweet and sugary. To be honest for example, when I showed some vague interest in performing of any kind, my mum might Oh, that's nice. She wasn't really, that wasn't her”

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22. “That was going on all the time. They had people around all the time and they kind of, I suppose inspired me and my brother to sort of be okay in all sorts of social situations. I think all kids, myself included, go through moments of shyness and moments where they're a little more outgoing, then maybe a little more shy again than outgoing again. I remember most vividly the sort of shy times. And I stood behind my older brother who would lead nine out of ten times into any situation with other kids or whatever. So I felt I was a more timid Person gentle Compared to my parents and my brother who were more than Just louder.”

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23. “I grew up in a kind of commuter belt town called Hitchin in Hertfordshire, which is about an hour outside of the centre of London. I hate it going into London. It's horrible, busy, noisy, smelly, awful. The quiet calm of my little hometown was perfect, it was safe, pretty much safe. Oh, I'm the youngest of me and my brother. And then there's my parents, my mama, my dad. And we don't have... I only have one cousin who was born 10 years after I was born. So we were small family. It wasn't a big crowd. It wasn't the sort of noisy experience growing up in that respect. My parents are pretty fiery people. And they're kind of party animals in a way. They're very social. They're very loud and kind of excitable. So I feel”

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24. “Nobody could have made us understand it was going to be traumatic. Who I was on the Chaos and the Calm campaign, I needed to stop all of that for my soul and my mental health. Yeah, it's pretty fucking intense. It's Shiran's invited me to open for him in football stadiums around Europe. And the bit I hate to admit, and I'm anxious to confess, is that... Life can take a toll on people to be male and talk about your feelings it was more about can you suck it up though it's all like an act”

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25. “I remember writing Hold Back the River and everybody at the label jumping for joy and thinking that they had a hit on their hands. Dreamt about being on those stages in front of all the people that my heroes were in front of. I was dead certain that I wanted it more”

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