YouSaid · the spoken record

Jason Portnoy

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2022-06-15
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2022-06-15
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  1. “It's a great book And in that book, she talks about how women who are in families with an addicted parent, and Anne-Marie's father suffered with alcohol and drug addiction when he was younger. When she was younger and he was younger. They tend to get into relationships with other addicts or people who are not emotionally available in some way. And, you know, addiction definitely does that to a person. And so. As odd as it sounds, it was a very comfortable place for Anne Marie to be with a guy who was not fully emotionally present, because if I had been fully emotionally present, it would have been very uncomfortable for me.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “So during that time, at first I thought we were getting divorced. I just thought there was no way we're going to recover from this. And Melissa said, hey, Anne-Marie, if you were engaged in this co-creation with Jason for so long. You must have been getting something out of it. You created this in your life, and I'm going to help you figure out why. It's the same message, right? The message is the same for everyone. And she recommended a book to the two of us called Women Who Love To Much by Robin Norwood.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “Yeah, so those came in later. I would say another book that was really instrumental when I was in the deepest part of my journey was Love Warrior by Glenn and Doyle. So, I mean, and I read so many books during that time, but the ones that really stuck out were autobiography of a yogi, Emmett Fox's books, and Glenn and Doyle's book, Love Warrior. And love what you only tell you Yeah, Love Warrior. Glenn, you know, if you haven't read the book, she just shares her story and is very vulnerable. And I was in a very dark place and trying to figure out like. How did this happen to me? How did I get here? And there's some themes of that in her book as well. And it just really helped me feel less alone and like there was some kind of path that I could take to get out of this.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “I felt like it was out of necessity that I had been living with this set of beliefs of what would make me happy. I had been lying. I was full of shame. I was in danger of my career was at risk because I was taking bigger risks with what I was doing in terms of the philandering and stuff. And I was probably risking my health. I was probably risking my safety. I was definitely risking my marriage. Like everything that I cared about was at risk. And so I think I just didn't want to lose it all”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “I changed everything I changed everything. I changed my diet. I changed my sleep habits. I changed my workout habits. I changed the people I talked to, the work I did. I changed everything.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “On a regular basis. In fact, every time she had a cancellation, she would text me, and I didn't have anything else to do except work on myself. And so I would take it. So I had several coaching sessions a week.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “I like the Sermon on the Mount, and there's also a book called The Lost Booklets of Emmett Fox. The biggest thing I take away from Emmett Fox is this just reinforcing this idea that what is happening in your life situation or in your external universe, as Anne Marie and I would say, is only a reflection of what is happening in your interior universe or inside yourself. And so that became very important to me at that time because I had to change. I was running off the programming or I was in a shame cycle, however you want to describe it. You know, the society had told me I needed money cars and women to be happy and successful. So I thought I should go out and get those things. And then I was miserable. Like all of these things were crashing down. And I had to change my life. And he was telling me, in addition to illicit...”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Monks do have mortgages. Yes, and Melissa joked that at some point during that retreat that I was on, she's like, I'm not going to call you porn star anymore and now you're the monk. And I really was living this kind of monkish life just tuning everything out, only reading like spiritual books, autobiography of a yogi was one of them, more stuff, books by Emmett Fox.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “reprogramming myself, I guess I start journaling very intensively. So I'm going to essay meetings, you know, at least a few times a week. I'm journaling very intensively. I stop lifting weights at the gym. I start going to yoga several times a week. Actually, I mean, sometimes it was twice a day. I stop eating meat. I stop drinking alcohol. I just change everything. I go to bed when it gets dark and then I wake up when it's dark and I journal to candlelight.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “No, so we so I move out in early 2015, February, and I go into this really intensive retreat. So I'm living by myself. I shut down most of what I'm doing for work. I just do the bare minimum stuff that I need to do to keep the, it's a VC firm to kind of keep things moving forward. I have to share what's happening with my business associates, which is incredibly embarrassing. And so I shut down as much as I can and I start”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “I feel like if I had to label it with a different word, I would call it a shame cycle. So there's some kind of core shame that happens. And then we go do some kind of behavior to distract ourselves from feeling that shame so we don't have to feel it. We do some kind of behavior that maybe isn't good. We feel ashamed of that behavior. Now there's more shame. Now we go back. We act out again so that we can distract ourselves and avoid feeling that shame and you get into this cycle and it just piles on. And I think that this is what we have come to term an addiction. I do feel like it is possible with internal work to go back and understand all of the layers of shame and eventually get back to understanding the root cause of shame and really actually Break that addictive shame cycle.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “I feel like having gone through that experience, and so I often ask myself, I feel like the cultural narrative a lot of times with addiction is one an addict, always an addict. And it becomes this label that You label yourself for the rest of your life. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The way I've thought about this is in my experience what led me into that addictive cycle was shame. And...”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “Feel okay with that and now I remember the second thing that was my intention with yeah thanks for the reminder so I feel like”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “If I live a life of humility, Of love for myself and compassion for others. You can get through just about anything, I think. And so this concept of surrendering, I mean, that's the humility piece. Was just so helpful and so important”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “humility with love for myself and compassion for others, I will have a good life. I don't need to worry about anything else. Like if anyone gets to a really, really bad dark place, if you focus on those three things, you can climb out of that.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “Again, it's very devastating. And I was very lost and very scared. And essay became kind of a lifeline because it was a group of people who were suffering through the same thing that I was suffering through. And so I was there several times a day at the very beginning that settled into a few meetings a week. And I probably did that for a year or a year and a half. Our family moved in 2017. We moved to Singapore for six months for my work. And I stopped going to meetings. And then when I came back, I didn't pick it up again. And I feel okay with that. The biggest things I took away from the experience. So there's kind of two things that I want to remark there. One, the biggest thing I took away was if I live a life”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “Since then. Since then, so I attended at the beginning I attended meetings, several meetings a day for weeks trying to find a meeting and a place and a group of people that really resonated most with me. And frankly, it was a lifeline for me because when I revealed this stuff, I had to move out.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “Since I can remember have been going on for a very long time by then, and I started crying and said I have a serious problem and I don't know how to stop and I don't know what to do. And she was the one who suggested I check out a 12 step program. And that's how, you know, a few nights later or maybe even that night, I don't remember, I started researching 12-step programs for sex addiction and found myself on the sex Aholics Anonymous website reading the material. And just shocked at how accurately it described my life.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “And so I get caught in early 2015. And it's pretty devastating because after everything Anne Marina had been through. It was like she just started feeling like I don't even know this person who is this person is there something he's not telling and Melissa understood it too and I'd kind of spiraled again into a place where I felt like I kind of lost control of my life and she said on the phone to me one day She be Melissa You know, we don't believe you If you don't share your secrets, you'll stay sick. And if you want to move forward, you're going to have to share your secrets. And that's when I finally came clean. That's when I kind of, the floodgates opened. And I said, okay, it's not the first time this has happened. Said, how many times has this happened? I said, I can't even count. I don't know. How long has this been going on”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “Her fair revelation comes in early 2010. We're separated for a while. I never reveal what's going on with me. We get back together after about a year and a half and I'm on good behavior for a while. But then I start in with the bad behavior again. And in 2014, something happens where I kind of sort of get caught, but I'm able to say this never happened before. It'll never happen again. And then in early 2015, I get caught again. And this time she doesn't believe me. Melissa doesn't believe me. At that point, I have come clean with Melissa about porn. It had been about a year that I was saying like I want to work on this porn habit. I don't think it's helping me. I think I need to get rid of it. I think I need to subtract it.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “Part of ourselves, that intuition, and that in order to get back to that place, that like default state of peacefulness or happiness or being in tune with others, we had to start peeling away those layers around the outside. We had to start subtracting those layers. And so that was part of the conversation. And so it was, well, just look around your life for things that aren't serving you anymore. could be a relationship, it could be a job, it could be a habit, could be whatever. If it's not serving you and it's not making you happy, get rid of it. So happiness isn't something you find. It's what's left when you get rid of all the things that make you unhappy.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “What I recall from then is a little fuzzy because it was a long time ago, but one of the things I recall was this idea that she taught me that Default state. She wouldn't use that language, but in my words, our default state is peacefulness. Our default state is happiness. You know, you would say that kids are really good at reading people's energy. They're really good at assessing like if someone's safe or not, animals have this sense. Why do they all have this sense, but adults don't? Like, what did we do? We put layers and layers of stuff around that core.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “So she said, You're efforting your way through life. I promise you there is a way to create just as much abundance in your life, if not more, with much less effort. And once I got through the fireworks of disagreement, I still didn't believe her. I was like, oh, sure, whatever. But also, I really wanted to save my marriage And I didn't want to lose my daughter or just be in half of her life or whatever the arrangement would have been. And so I was willing to try it And say, okay, let me try it. And I did, and I started subtracting.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “And then she cracked up. I should have gotten a t shirt and had on it. Monks don't have mortgages. But that was how I felt. I was like, I don't know what this spiritual stuff is you're talking about.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “She said you're efforting your way through life. And I was just livid. I was like, what are you talking about? You know, I have gotten where I am because I work so hard. I was never the smartest kid in my classes. I was not the smartest person at PayPal. I was definitely not the smartest person at Clarium. I got where I was because I hustled my butt off. I just worked really hard. And so for her to say, you're efforting your way through life was like your whole strategy is wrong. Know hitting me in the core. And I remember one time she was telling me this and I was like, well, I can't just sit on the couch and meditate. Monks don't have mortgages.”

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  26. “Because there was like a badge of honor with all these lunches and dinners and breakfast. I'm so busy. Look how important I am. Oh, I'm so amazing. And so I just kind of had to stop. Just stop, period, and be more still. And that's hard to do.”

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  27. “Nothing blanket. It was always just like a one-off thing. Like, sorry, I can't make it. Or, you know, frankly, I think I was the one doing a lot of the inviting back then. Oh, interesting.”

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  28. “Okay. For sure. Yeah. And I was really wrapped up in that. And so I had to stop doing that stuff too. That was another big thing that I kind of subtracted. Now”

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  29. “Yeah, yeah. And I just so. And I was scared that if I didn't keep working, I wouldn't be able to get another job when I was ready to go back to work at all these fears. And so I had to start doing less stuff. And so as those consulting jobs ended, I didn't get new ones. I started unsubscribing to all of the email newsletters that I was subscribed to. I didn't really never watch a ton of TV, but I pretty much stopped watching TV entirely. And I got a lot more selective. I used to do lots of lunches and breakfasts and dinners. I don't know if it was just me or if it was Silicon Valley culture. I'm not sure.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “Would say it's kind of like peeling an onion or something. It's just layers and layers and layers. Like once you get on this subtraction mentality and mindset or simplification mindset, you think you're simplifying and you go through and you do a bunch of stuff. And then some months later, you realize, oh my gosh, now I'm going to start simplifying at a totally different level. I'll make this more tangible. So at first, it was, so I had left Palantir and I couldn't detox immediately or like I couldn't just cold turkey stop working. So I started trying to get all these consulting jobs.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “And I need to take, I'm not a victim, I need to take responsibility for everything that's happening. And another vocabulary thing that came up during that time was this idea to simplify and subtract, which for me took on a whole lot of meaning when I started my first VC fund. I named it subtraction capital. I was just doing way too many things and I needed to subtract and simplify. And I think Anne-Marie had certain things in her work where she also had to subtract and simplify. The type of work.”

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  32. “Well, one of those would be this idea that, you know, like she told me, you're not a victim. You've created this situation in your life. And I'm going to help you figure out why part of what's embedded in that is this idea that you are kind of responsible for everything that happens in your life. And so that would be a good example where in those first six months Yes, the revelation was that Anne-Marie had been having an affair. I never came clean on my other behavior, but I started to at least take responsibility for my disappearances related to work. And having no boundaries around my work. And she, I can't remember details of what her side of that would have been. I wouldn't want to speak for her too much anyway. But that was one for me, this idea that I am responsible.”

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  33. “The latter, nothing would be shared unless there was explicit permission. That's changed now. But back then, you know, this whole thing had blown apart and we were not there for sure.”

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  34. “Because of her, it kind of kept our lines of communication open. And we would share sometimes, you know, something we might have learned in one of our sessions.”

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  35. “Immediately. Yes, let's not go nuclear immediately. So we were separated. Anne-Marie moved out and had an apartment. It was not that far away, a mile away in San Francisco or something like that. And so we're talking to Melissa, let's say in that first six months. And most of the time it's separate. Pretty sure back in those days, most of our sessions were separate, although some of them were together, but really we're doing our own individual work. And one of the things that was interesting about it was we were learning a whole new vocabulary in the work that Melissa was doing. And we had to stay in touch because we were recording our daughter's schedule and not to put too much pressure on her, but she really held us together during that time. Because if we didn't have her, I think we could have easily drifted in different directions.”

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  36. “We were not divorced And we didn't know if we were getting divorced or not. And at first, I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but it's like when something like this happens in a lot of relationships, the tendency is like, that's it, we're getting divorced. I don't remember where the advice came from. It could have been from Alyssa. Certainly Melissa's advice was don't make any big decisions for a few months. And I think that was kind of code for like don't decide to get divorced. Don't completely change everything. Like there's a lot of work to be done. There's a lot of work that has to be done here.”

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  37. “Well, Anne Marie was pretty clear that she did not want to end her relationship that she was in. That was, of course, very difficult to hear. And then I wound up starting to date and I had a couple dating relationships.”

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  38. “But little did I know that she was going to take that in the exact opposite direction I thought it was going to go. It's like. Yeah, no, you've created this for yourself. And I was like, how does she know? Or, you know, maybe my first reaction is, what are you talking about? She's like, you've created the condition in your life for this to happen. And then later in the session, like before you come back next week, I want you to write down all of your secrets. I was like, how does she know I have secrets? And it scared the shit out of me. And she was kind of on to me right from the beginning.”

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  39. “Okay, what's going on here? And she's like, when I finally stop talking, she's like, you feel like a victim. It seems like you have this victim thing going. I'm like, yes, I'm a victim. Very good. You're catching on. You're catching on. You're following me.”

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  40. “In the very first session, said, You feel like, you know, because I'm telling her the story, I share this in the book. I'm telling her the story. And the whole time I'm telling her the story, I'm just expecting her to be like, oh, you poor thing. Oh, you know it. Wow, that's, you know, how does that make you feel? That sort of thing. So I'm like telling her bits of the story, waiting for this feedback that the rest of the world had given me, this sympathy. And I'm not getting any of it.”

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  41. “I did not share what I was doing. And that made some of the things that happened much later all the more painful. But no, I didn't. I played the victim. I said, oh my gosh, my wife's having an affair. I told my sister. I told my parents. Told my friends woe is me, can you believe it? I just have no idea I would never expect her to do something like that. I mean, I just played into that whole thing. And that was one of the things Melissa called me out on in that first session.”

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  42. “Yes, exactly. She's like, Are you okay? And keep in mind. I'm CFO of this fast growing Silicon Valley company. I also have all this philandering activity going on on the side. Plus I have a newborn at home. I had a lot going on. She didn't know all of that, but she could just tell that I was like falling apart or frayed. She was like, Are you okay? I was like, I don't think I'm okay. I don't think I'm okay. Why do you ask? And then. She said, you know, there's this woman that I know who kind of helps people in times of crisis or transition. And maybe you should talk to her. And that's kind of how that started.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “A tremendous business partner for me when I was at Palantir. And she could see the things weren't right. So in this period, she could see the things were not right, you know, because she was kind of intimately involved in things that were going on with me at work.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “Yes, absolutely. So I had an EA when I was at Palantier, executive assistant. Yes, executive assistant, amazing woman. Her name's Julie.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  45. “And we still had enough communication lines open for this. We were coordinating schedules for our daughter and things like that. And I said, I just have to tell you about this session I just had with this life coach. I didn't know what a life coach was. And I told her and she said, wow, you got all of that out of one hour. It's like, yeah. She said, well, maybe I should see this woman too. I was like, sure, why not? And so then she started and then we just continued.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  46. “Her name's Melissa, yeah. And I went to my first session with her. And I felt like I got more out of one hour with her than I had gotten out of months of therapy, months of like what I would call traditional therapy. And I'm not trying to say that, to say anything bad about the therapist I was talking to. I'm sure they're great. And they did help me to some degree. But I got more out of that one hour than I had in months. And so I was so excited that I when I got to the parking lot, I called in Marie.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  47. “Nope, I called her so I had been talking with a therapist for, I don't remember how many months, four to six months before I had my first session with this life coach.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  48. “Same woman, yeah, which I know is unique and a little bit unusual, but it worked for us. It may not work for everyone, but it worked for us.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. “And I started wondering what's going on here. And I asked Anne-Marie, like, hey, I stopped working so I could be home so that we could try to reconnect. And she was like, you can't just expect me to go back to the way things were. And I didn't really have a good thing. And it turned out that she was having an affair. And I kind of discovered that. That was a big aha moment as well, kind of a big wake-up call. And she had been in her affair for quite some time. And that was this huge kind of explosion that happened. And then she moved out and we separated and shared time with our daughter, split. You know, we chatter two or three days at a time. And we both started working with this life coach.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. “Another trigger there. So I quit my job and I think I stopped in January of 2010. Then I was home and it took me a while to kind of detox and decompress from Palantir, which had been a very intense work environment. But after four or five months, we just weren't getting closer.”

    2022-06-15 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #600: Jason Portnoy of PayPal, Palantir, and More — Porn Addiction, The Corrosiveness of Secrets, Healing Wounds, Escaping Shame Cycles, and Books to Change Your Life · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT