YouSaid · the spoken record

Jonathan Van Ness

lines on the record: 96
first: 2023-06-19
most recent: 2023-06-19
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“So, but again, just like anything, that's never like all the way just like done and dusted. Like you're always in conversation with yourself and with your trauma and your behavior and like how you want to regulate that or express that. It would also be your miss to say like, I mean, I already had a lot of healing prior to meeting my husband. And I think that's part of like why I even met him, you know, universally speaking anyway because I had done that work. But having a husband who I can be open with and honest with and who doesn't judge me for the things that I've been through and he can create a safe space for, you know, to hold my stuff with me is really helpful as well.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sexuality is good. It's lack of consent. It's abuse, it's manipulation, it's doing things that you regret. Those are the things that are not good. But, you know, decoupling that and like kind of understanding that and understanding like, are you doing this because you have a trauma response? And so you're doing this or you do this because you really, really want to do it. So there's like a whole, you know, conversation about like sex positivity to be had here too. And a lot of people are really opposed to the idea of sexual compulsivity or sex addiction because they're like, that's really not sex positive. And maybe it's, you know, XYZ or whatever. But for me, I think it's way more important to recognize that in my case, it was, I didn't feel good. And now I feel better. And I know a lot of people like myself who were able to like, you know, come more into a space of healing and more into a space of balance with their sexual self.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Really, it was just like understanding through so much repetition of hurting myself. It was like, oh, I don't really want to do this. I don't feel better after I do this. Like, I think I'm going to, but then I don't. And so it was really just like through continually like really hurting myself and then going back to therapy, like falling off the horse, getting back on, and also like Methuse has a huge part to do with this for a lot of queer people at least. And I mean, there are straight people as well, but I think it's probably lesser numbers because of like, you know, the whole like meth and sex scene, which is, you know, quite prevalent in queer communities. So it was not quite prevalent, but it's like prevalent. It happens. And so I think once the further away that I was able to get from meth, the easier it was for me to heal from, because also it's like, and I talk a lot about this in my new show fun in Slutty, it's like sexuality isn't bad. Sexuality is good expressing our”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, it wasn't like that. Like, all of that pattern and all of that feels insecure, wants validation, won't stop till they get the validation, then they feel insecure again for doing the thing, and then it's just a cycle that repeats itself all the time. And we talk about that in sexual compulsivity. It's like the trigger. And then the trigger to do the thing. And then you start cruising for the thing. And then you do the thing. And then the shame from the thing just makes you go So, um,”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, you know, it's interesting. I think that reminds me of this thing that this one guy in Rehab said he said, like, Not knowing why he was an alcoholic is not what made him crazy. It was needing to know why he was an alcoholic is what made him crazy. So I think it's a lot, and that was actually a huge disappointment for me. And I think we put way too much emphasis on like trying to understand your origin story. Because once I understood my origin story and it was really clear as day and like I'd done all my work and I'd done like all of this processing and like all of the memories came back and like I already had all the memories but then like there was just certain things that I was able to connect and like really understand very clearly. I was still left with the scarring and I was still left with the patterns. Like I still once I knew it wasn't like I was like well now I don't want to fuck 20 strangers anymore”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like a queer term for what gays do when you're like, yeah, whether it's like you're cruising on Grindr or you're like at a bathhouse or you're like whatever you're doing.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Addiction. So the way that it was affecting my life was like just doing things that I regretted. I describe a lot of like disassociated behavior, like this inability to just get off, like couldn't get off the phone, couldn't stop cruising. Like I just felt like I wasn't in control of control. Like, so if you were to say in, you know, in part speaker, like IFS, like that firefighter was like so blended in my driver's seat. Like I couldn't I couldn't get centered self like into the goddamn car.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, they were like, well, one was. One had a sexual compulsivity course within the program. And then the other one that I went to, I found an outpatient that did that work. So I could there like, you know, during the day from like this other rehab. I had to be like a resourceful queen. But ultimately, it's like a process addiction. Whether it's like gambling, food, like sex, it's like a process.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's interesting because I think if I'm correct, I think that sex addiction is not like a recognized addiction in the DSD whatever. Yeah, dear them. But it's whereas like, you know, other ones are So, the effects that I was having on my life was like obviously I got HIV. But even before that, I was already going to meetings and I had already been to rehab Twice before I got HIV.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Don't mean someone's going to like bite it necessarily. I mean, they might. Some people are just like, ooh, I got like a DUI, and that was enough. Other people are like, you know, everyone's bottom looks different.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. But my son had always said, you know, like not every like, well, this is like all 12 step, like well-known 12-step phraseology, but like every bottom has a basement. So I can always get worse. And also, like, you don't have to ride the elevator to the bottom. So like, not every, like, like everyone's rock bottoms, like look different. Like, it doesn't mean that you have to like.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It wasn't until he left me and Steve died and I got HIV that I was like, okay, I really want to like not do this anymore. And that was when I ultimately was able to get better. But I needed to really, I did it with a lot of support, but I needed to hit rock bottom and then get the support.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, well, I don't think so because I realized that I was doing things sexually that time that like I regretted and like I didn't feel good about myself afterwards and that's how I was kind of like oh I think this is like a problem and then and that also kind of started happening like right after I met like my like the my first love and so and I told him about it I was honest with him I got help So he knew I got a therapist at that time but like Ultimately like I wasn't ready to deal with it. And so no I think that was kind of an interesting lesson of like you can have all the support in the world but if you're not ready to like sit with your stuff like nothing's gonna move you but um”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, I think I was like handling the move to LA pretty well up until my stepdad got sick and then It was like, and then my little healing era came to like a screeching halt Also, the relationship. It was like falling in love, and my stepdad's diagnosis together much all my trauma got triggered in.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I moved back, and then that was like a really cute time. Like, I got to work for myself the first time. I had like my own chair at a salon. And that made me kind of feel like responsible for the first time. And I turned 21 at that time. And then after a few years of that, I was like, I felt like I couldn't really cut myself out of a paper bag. Like I felt like I was in a good hairdresser. All I knew how to do was like chunky Kelly Clarkson highlights like circa light breakaway 2004. You know what I'm saying? So then I wanted to move to LA and work at a really good salon and have a Del Worst product experience. So I did. So then I moved to LA and then that's where I really like figured out how to do better hair because I got a good job at assisting at a salon that was really good.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I got better there. I got better there and then I moved back to Arizona after I finished school. So I only lived there for about a year. In my mind, I felt like my first experience in Arizona, because that's where I went to college, was like this failure. And I really wanted to like go back and do better and not have it be a failure. And so.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, no meaning. Yes, and it has continued to be like a huge source of joy and grounding in my life that is really so not trivial. Like really, really was a huge turning point.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it was really, really dangerous situations. And so, yeah, that was like, I mean, I look back at some of the things that happened and I honestly can't believe that I made it because It was really so touch and go in a lot of situations. Like one little thing different and it could have like so many situations, but that's true of anyone. But it was really, you know, traumatizing. But so I find this little cat and I realized when I find this little cat, I was like, I want this, I want to raise this little cat. He was like, this like little black cat in the hood of this car. But that really was like so super healing for me. And I think that started like, I'm such a little like animal parent. I have like five cats and three dogs now with my husband and that I really think it was just like such a huge turning point. Like just like falling like just falling in love with like cats and dogs are just like so healing.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like wanting validation, trying to support a drug habit. Like it was not a good place for an 18 year old to be. It was really like I put myself in so many really dangerous situations.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'll be back in three days. Can you just, I'm scared? And she was like, Jesus, yes, this is my baby. And so she did them. Poor mom, right? And so she did that cutely though, like right before that, I found this kitten in the hood of a car who was my first cat, bugged the first, and honest to God. I write about him too. Like, he really gave me, like, the will to not be a sex worker. Because at first it was like for funsies to just get drugs for partying, right? Then once I got cut off, it was like, no, like, I don't want to go back home and like show that I fucked up. So I just need to figure it out. But like, that was really not where I wanted to be. It wasn't like I was like doing sex work from a place of empowerment. I was doing it from like a place of like deep trauma.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, right, like that's like two days, you know, if you're really going out with your friends. So then I just was like, then I discovered sex work. And then I was like, oh, next thing I knew I was like pulling tricks to like get drugs so that I could do more drugs. And then after doing that for a few months, I was like, I dropped out of college like through that. I was like. My mama cut me off by then. I was like, Mommy, I was sorry. I'm like literally selling my body, I feel scared. Like, can you just put some money in the checking account? Like, I'll drive the car home. I'll just come.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh my mom was so right. She was like honey, you're too young. And I was like, get fucked, I'm leaving. And honey, I was so too young. Like, I just immediately just had my face in a plate of Coke. Like the first time I saw cocaine, I was like, like the first time I was saw like, I was like, that's ecstasy, give me six. And the next thing I knew, you know, because my parents got me like that, like thing that you get at university, like the little campus card for the food. So they're like, your food's paid for, your dorm's paid for, like, you really don't need very much money, honey. Like, so like my mom gave me like $300 a month because everything else was paid for, right? Like, what else could you fucking need? Like, I didn't have to work. Like, because they did everything, right? Like, so cool, right? Like, so, but I was like, well, how am I supposed to get all messed up on drugs all the time if I only have $300? Like, that math isn't working.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Doth weed count? Then no. Yes, yes, then it was. Like I had smoked web, but that was the first time that I ever did really intense drugs.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I got really bad grades and then I got addicted to drugs and then I realized that I wanted to be a hairdresser so what was I going to waste all that time and money for?”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which I think being a non binary queen, anything that's too much this or that, it's like so sobriety was like, oh, I just like, I don't want to be totally sober. But I did get a lot of healing there. So I'm kind of a harm reduction queen. So all through my 20s, I think, and I don't think that we ever get to a place as much as I wish that we would where you're just like, ah, dealt with my trauma. It's like in a box and I never have to look at it again. I never have to deal with it again. And I think it's interesting the ways that your circumstances change and then your trauma or your, you know, that baggage or your ego is Eckhart refers to it will manifest itself in different ways. But I hope that we get, or I hope I get better at not identifying with the trauma or the ego, like when it's like being a nightmare, even though that's like also a constant struggle.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Difficult working situation. I was like in my first serious relationship and then all of those, all that trauma manifesting itself was came back in terms of like my sexual compulsivity. So I'm like in love for the first time and I just like was having such a hard time like in my first relationship like just cheating nonstop and being like which I talk a lot about in my first book And so that was when I was like, okay, I really need help. Like, I don't know. Like, so I'd had that versatile introduction to healing with like Eckhart, you know, solo 21 22. Then Steve gets sick, he ultimately dies. And then it's after that that I'm like, really need help. And that's like when I get into therapy, that's when I start to get into 12 step myself.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't have an ego. What's he talking about? And I was like, oh, that's like the story that we tell ourselves. I was like, so, like, my story is that I'm like, this, like, gay kid from this little town. And I was like abused and like this and that. I love cheer and I love to like really I'm like the observer of that. Like I'm not really that. I'm like this like that was like when I started to learn about like what meditation was and what stillness was. And that really gave me a lot of healing and kind of like clarity. And then I that didn't last that long because I did eventually get addicted to meth like not that long after that. But thank God I had that introduction to that sort of healing at that time because I was able to come back to it. So that and then I think so then my stepdad got really sick. The one I was talking about earlier, Steve, he was diagnosed with cancer in like 2009 and I was really far away. I was like living in LA.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think my fur like I went, I think one of my big first phases of wanting to understand More about my trauma or like my story. It was like Eckhart Tolley and A New Earth and the Power of Now and like 2008 or 9. It was like when Oprah was talking about him. And then I was like, who's this Echartoli, honey? And then I read The Power of Now and a New Earth. And I was like,”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Always knew I wanted to do hair. But I think my family was like, You need to go to college. So I was like, maybe I was like, I'll be a lawyer or something. But then I was like, girl, you can't be a lawyer. I love doing hair. I think I knew I wanted to do hair.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When they got divorced, we went to like family therapy. So, like, the therapy was always very normalized for me. And my mom, it's just like one of the things I just am so grateful to her for. She likes normalized therapy. Like, thank God, I don't think I'd be alive without if she hadn't done that.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To be. Honey, I was in therapy when I was five. I remember like my parents got divorced. I remember being in therapy when I was so little that I had to look up at my mom like this, like holding her hand. You know what I'm saying? Like.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It makes it, and also it's like this smoke and mirrors thing when you're saying that it's one thing. It's like gaslighting really from this whole other thing, which in this case is like the pervasive sexual abuse in churches and families, in communities that is just so not spoken about. And we're over here talking about drag queens and trans people”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And especially in like small rural spaces. And I think that's part of what makes me so angry when we think about, you know, when people would say, you know, that trans people are, you know, groomers or drag queens or like all this idea that queer people are groomers. Like there is so much sexual abuse in churches. There is so much sexual abuse in rural communities and urban communities and all the communities. And when you look at the statistics most often, it is like a man that you know. It is like a man in the family, a man in the church, a friend of the family. It's someone that you know. It's like not random queer people. And I just think part of why we have these like fantastical ideas of like these threats to our kids is because of the thing that I was just speaking about that like we don't talk about what really happens because we want to keep it private and we want to keep things really inside. And so when you're like”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I think that the problem with sexual abuse is so many, and I don't like blame anyone for this because it's just like what happens that there's such this like an insistence on like, like, Not talking about it. You know, like, don't let anyone find out. And I understand that because it's like you just don't want people to find out whether it's like bringing shame on the church or bringing shame on like, why didn't anyone prevent this? So it's like, I don't think it was like, I think we just all wanted to get through it. And I don't think any, like there's so much shame and stigma tied up in sexual abuse that I think when it happens you're but at the same time like My mom was really wanted to deal with things like in a very head-on way and like really wanted it was like therapy like we gotta get like once she knew she was like gotta like but then there was like other forces and like other people and you know our lives that were like I don't think and whether that was like church leaders or other people that were like I don't think that's really you know like what happens if you talk you really want your kid to be like you know so”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I think that was like a lot of, and I also was abused, I'm survivor sexual abuse, so there was like I would hear about like other kids and like, you know, whether it was like poverty or like see it on the news, like kids or like even just like kids at school, like you know there's like kids at school who like clearly are going through it and like do not have the access to the resources that you have but meanwhile I was like definitely having people call me faggot, definitely being sexually abused. And I remember thinking like I'm glad I don't have it as bad as like you know so it's like it's interesting how like our perspective like is like just so funny it's like when you're a kid you just don't have anything to compare it to but looking back to it on it I'm like I think of my little inner child and like all the things that my nickname growing up was Jack like what he went through and I'm like oh my god honey that was like so intense”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like really, I mean, I was, like I said, a really queer kid in a very cis world. So my hometown is like, my family was quite well known in my hometown and I was really unabashedly myself. And so there was a lot of like feedback from that as I got older.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That absolutely resonates. I think I also write a lot about this idea that a lot of joy and like happiness can coexist with grief. Just being really into something else, which I'm glad I'm still into that, even though I'm more into my life now than I was, and obviously, like, I did get out of there and I did. Like, you know, a lot of my dreams came true.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, like, for me, it doesn't really hold a lot of like. Brittany Brown, she talks about, like, you know, can you talk about your trauma without becoming your trauma? And I think in like Think it's actually still kind of hard for me to talk about. Like, I have this harder part that kind of comes up and is like, ugh, like I just don't like going there. I am down to go there. Your square chin makes me feel safe But yeah, you know what I'm saying?”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, no, but I did have some really good friends and some people who I think I knew really early that friendship was really important. So I always had some really close friends, but a lot of times I think there was like, you know quite a bit of like widespread bullying, but I think that that really hit a fever pitch like more like, you know, like sixth grade, like post sixth grade, like maybe pre- that there was like little murmurs and like a little bit of weirdness, but I think kids are like so young at that age that they're not really like, or at least in my case, it wasn't like that horrific bullying-wise at the time it was more like post-sixth grade, I feel like. But also it's like so funny. I just noticed this like part of me that's like being 36 and still talking about it. Like I feel like because I have processed so much of it and I've worked so hard on letting go of a lot of that.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, it's like this gorgeous, like little tube dress honey. And what it can give you is this turtleneck moment. But that's giving me too much restriction. It is pride. So we need the shoulder out because it's really like this Icy Miyaki moment that's like the shoulders meant to peekaboo.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My mom started dating him when I was like six, and I write a lot about him in my first book Over the Top. His name was Steve. And so ultimately he taught me so much about what it is to be a good person, what it is to have integrity, what it is to ask for help. He had been sober for 28 years when he died in 2012. And he was like, and he and my dad are both really important to me, but Steve and my dad like were really good, you know, role models in my life in a lot of ways. But it took me like from like six to like 16 to like Steve. But then I eventually like really, you know, loved Steve and appreciated him so much for all the things that he taught me. Thank you. Stay out.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just had a joke about this in my new set. My first reaction was like, can I have the ring? Like, my brothers are really devastated. I just was like all about that diamond. Like, I've always loved jewelry. I was like, oh my God, that would look great with my geodes. So I didn't really understand any sort of like emotional implication from my parents' divorce. Love my dad, love my mom, but I was like, I kind of, I think I was like maybe too young to fully understand. I do think that it ultimately set me on like, um, Like my stepdad and I”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh I went to school I come from a broadcasting family and like a family of journalists my I grew up my mom worked in the local newspaper in advertising and my dad worked in the TV station. So that's kind of where it started. I was born in 1987 and that was like another really interesting time in queer history and what was to come for the next few years being that it was like the height of the height of the AIDS crisis and I think understanding not understanding that, but being a very queer effeminate small child in that time there was so much like antique all then which I didn't like know that's what it was called but I felt it and it's so it's interesting being like this age now and having like this renaissance not in the Beyonce way of like such antique sentiment”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Great ball and at the same time really frustrated. I just see so much transphobic garbage all over the place. People really think that there's little kids going to school as a boy and coming home as a girl. This is really serious and so this has been a really hard time. And I think being a public figure who is constantly expected to be a ray of sunshine, it can be challenging, but why being able to get to where I am is like because I think I'm resilient, I have been able to sit with a lot of shame and like a lot of heartbreak and still be joyful. Can you talk about your trauma without becoming your trauma? Do I get to ask the question of the next person? Yes”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The conversation starts on a cornfield in rural Illinois being a queer, feminine child is hard. There was sexual abuse and there was bullying, but all that trauma came back into the most self-destructive era. I had my face in a plate of Coke. Then I discovered sex work and I got HIV. I put myself in so many really dangerous situations.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Think it's actually still kind of hard for me to talk about, but I am down to go there. Your square chin makes me feel safe.”
2023-06-19 · The Diary of a CEO · Queer Eye Star Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom: Jonathan Van Ness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT