YouSaid · the spoken record

Kate Moyle

lines on the record: 96
first: 2021-03-22
most recent: 2021-03-22
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Taking the learning from inside the therapy room and putting it out into the world and hopefully then that's creating that social cultural kind of sex positive shift that I think we all need.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, then my website is my name katemoyle.co.uk. I host a podcast called The Sexual Wellness Sessions where we have informative but informal conversations about different areas of sexual well-being. So whether that's desire, sexual functioning, kind of sexual mindset, infertility in sex. I try and have a kind of specific subject around what people might be struggling with. And then I'm on Instagram at Cape Moyle Therapy, but the Sex Fo project is I'm the UK sex expert for Lilo. So luxury sex toy brand and they do some amazing, amazing products as well. And I work with brands kind of creating sexual wellness focused, I suppose, projects products. Yeah. And I think brands are really trying to get it right. And I really, really respect that. I think that's amazing. So I actually love that work because it feels like it's...”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not blame exactly. So I think that the communication part and like positive communication is a big part of that, but it's that breakaway from assumption. It's like clarification on assumption. Assumption is what trips us up so much of the time because we're mind reading. We think we know what our partner is going to say before they say it, so we don't even give them a chance.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's top of the tree, and I think it's the one that people don't want to hear because it's less actionable and it's quite scary. Yeah, exactly. It's like Way, I think talking about it is the hardest thing to do But it is any relationship kind of expert, any expert in the sexual kind of wellbeing health space will say to you, like communication is that. And then it's like, okay, but how do I? Do that. And we talk about these communication exercises, things like kind of speaking from your own position, say like I say. So there's a place called the Gottman Institute and they have done so much research on couples, but it's this ownership. Like my feelings are I'm feeling my perspective is because actually what you're not saying to your partner is you.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We are now with sexual wellness and well-being becoming such a big important topic. We're seeing that these platforms are coming up which are to help instruct or to help offer advice. And that means that the educational content is available to people. And I recommend lots of that stuff because if people are feeling informed, they feel more confident. And that means that they can have actionable things to work on, to build on, and that they're more able to be like, okay, yeah, I understand how this works. Whether this is our body's or someone else's bodies to a certain extent. So that can kind of help set me up for. Sexual experience”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I think, you know, I think where we're at now in the world is that there are online platforms kind of creating, I suppose, like more instructional. So there's an amazing one which was launched by the Kinsey Institute, which is one of the leading kind of sexuality research institutes in the world. And it's a platform called OMGS. And it's basically about helping like instructional videos and interviews about how to create female orgasm or simulate female pleasure.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of it all, and also putting our hands up and being like, wow, this week is tough, or I'm really struggling with this, or this is going on. And I think that there's something in knowing you can pick up the phone and just say that is hugely, hugely important.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think a bit, but I think I feel incredibly fortunate that I have a very emotionally open, emotionally intelligent group of friends. I surround myself with the people where we have those. Open conversations, we are able to go to difficult places. It is very mutually supportive, and none of us pretend to have it all worked out or that it's all perfect. I think there's kind of a Like a celebration of like the perfectly imperfectness.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I think for me, that's a big part of it. But yeah, I think what is the perfect relationship? We're all working at everything all the time. And I don't pretend because I'm someone that works with relationships and sex life not to be working at it myself.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's kind of acknowledging that and being thoughtful of it. And I think that there's also that idea of how my best working with or serving the people close to me rather than kind of like everything else having else to do for me. It's about pulling away, I suppose, from being a yes man. You know, there was a stage in my kind of life and career when I said yes, absolutely everything. And now you have to be. Bit more selective because otherwise then you lose the quality time. And I think that quality time is an important part and it's actually making sure that is carved out, protected.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, I think speaking for myself in this space, I think we can. Can be a hypocrite. I think we can all be hypocrites in our own ways, and you know, that's because we're also all human, you know. We all still have our triggers, our anxieties, our defenses. And I try my best. And I think that, you know, that's the best you can do. But I think that relationships, there's an acknowledgement that relationships take work and take nurture. And I think actually. When you talk about this stuff all the time, you actually sometimes need to kind of step back and be like, okay, so what am I doing here? At home, how do I implement this as a partner, as a parent, as a family member, as a friend?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In terms of you were saying as a CEO, you're like the person in charge. You set the agenda, you set the time. You're kind of leading that in a way that might be a piece of being an entrepreneur Is someone who kind of puts their head down and does that.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you think that so if I kind of push that back on to that kind of question of like how Relationships work back onto you then? Do you think that Entrepreneurs or people who then kind of go out on their own and do that are more prone to that different way of relating or more that's their more natural style.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, but in any relationship, you compromise with people you work with. Compromise with friends, you compromise with family members. We all have to compromise because relationships are however many people there are. But if we're talking about couples, two people who are independent, different people. Trying to work together and they're not going to perfectly fit together or be aligned in every single way. So how do we navigate that?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It meets, you know, and we see that, right? You know, people talk about their businesses as their babies, you know, like that's my first baby or that's my baby. And I think that Are we for some people we get our needs met through Businesses through our passions through our sport through our careers. Some people they might get enough of their needs for relationships met in this kind of smaller doses or not in those kind of like single intimate or couple or relational relationships. But they have that met in other ways across the board or in kind of smaller ways. Now, who are we to pathologize that, I suppose?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I suppose it's about that, you know, relationships were about that balance of independence and dependence. And so. It's where that balance sits.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Change that? How do we start to kind of like open that up? How do we, you know, we have other relationships in our lives? We have family, we have friends, we have colleagues. We need to start to think about how we can do that for ourselves. And then we work with our partners to create something together.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Unrealistic expectations. One of the Problems. You talked about it earlier, this idea of what we see in the movie. So we're like, oh, that's what it's like. So then, when it's not like that, we're disappointed. Our partner fails us. They haven't met our expectations. They haven't met all of our needs. You know, we talk about this idea, lots of relationship experts talk about this idea of how we shouldn't expect one person, our partner, to meet every single one of our needs, but we do. And so they're kind of doomed to fail then in that way. So how do we”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The gap between what we expect and then where we kind of find ourselves to be or what that looks like. I think again that's that and also you know it's that idea again I feel like I talk about gaps a lot but that idea that gap between the person I kind of know myself to be and the person I show everybody else that I am And the bigger that gap, the more space for struggles or battles. Mental health challenges around that.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We have our fears, and we're humans. We like to, I suppose, feel that we fit the normal, fit what's expected. Or, you know, some of us do at least What other people think of me if I step outside? So as humans, we have that balance of like, what do I want, but also what will other people think?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think it doesn't have to, and I suppose it's about what people are looking for, and I suppose as you were asking earlier about multi-partner relationships or like, you know, consensual non-monogamy, it's about us making informed choices about what works for us and our relationships. And I mean, this is such a conversation I was having with someone just yesterday, is how do we feel more informed? You know, how do we explore what that might look like in another way? Because for some people, trying to fit into what they feel they're expected to do might not work for them. It's a system or a model that doesn't work. So how do we then start to open up that conversation for ourselves, but also”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, that impact of history, like us doing the things that we've always done, but it's an institution and a lot of people subscribe to that. Now, what we see now is that people can be married multiple times and be happy in every relationship, whether it be perfect for that stage or for them or for that relationship, that people don't need to get married, that people can parent and become parents without being married. I suppose the biggest representation of commitment that historically we've always had and people now can find other ways to commit to each other buying property together that doesn't require it. So I suppose...”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah But I think it's also about, you know, I suppose marriage has been the norm, right, historically. It's always been the norm. It's always been Also considered the gold standard, or like what we should kind of aspire. To be or aim for. And I think that”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Get for what I say. You know, I think that what is it offer people? You know, like, what are people looking for? And I think for a lot of people it's security.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think that there are often ideas that the grass is always greener, but equally we understand that relationships take work. And I think we've seen a breakdown of norms. We've seen divorce rates are an all-time high, but it's not the same stigma that it used to be, that kind of people changing their models of relationships or changing relationships is not kind of such a big thing. But also something that I think is important to say is just because a relationship has ended doesn't mean that in itself it wasn't successful. And I think that's another thing that we need to reframe, you know, people can be in a relationship for 10 years and it ends. That doesn't mean that relationship failed or was a failure. It might have been for that person at that time.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think it is. It's not probably the most prevalent thing I deal with, but also what you're basing that on is an assumption that that's not something that can be worked at. It's not something that people accept when they are in a relationship with each other or that they, you know, I think it goes back to that relationships moving in stages and phases bit as well. And I think. That's that fear of things not always staying the same, whereas actually what I would say is if we accept that things don't always stay the same, then we can change and work with that and accept it and improve it or adapt. You know, as humans, we're really, really adaptable. But we want to feel encouraged in that rather than, I suppose, kind of put off or challenged by the fact that we need to.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Want to try again. And so we hold on to that negative experience because we've had no, in a way, like challenging or corrective or other more positive experiences which can go against those ideas.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“People, they do struggle for some people they have a period of normal sexual functioning, and then they start to struggle. And it might be that they've never thought about sex really before until they feel like they have to. So again, there's no kind of one root to all of this. And although there are themes, for example, in the conversations that I have with people, everyone has their own journey, their own story, their own experiences that have shaped that. And some of it. Start in the playground, like playground banter about what sex is like. But at a younger age, when we're quite impressionable, and that sounds really scary, what people are talking about, we can kind of carry that with us. And then it presents further down the line.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We know what we can do is we can feel more informed. I consider a big part of my job to be helping people to make informed choices about their sexual wellness and well-being. So that might be. Thinking about the narratives that have shaped how they think about sex, thinking about their current definition of sex, thinking about sex education, how can they feel informed about things like anatomy, things like their body, their preferences, their likes, and the communication bit, how do I then communicate that with a partner? And all of that can contribute to better sexual self-confidence. And again, what we know is like sexual self-confidence is in that person again that's reflected back to them in situations with other people. But really, it's kind of all about that relationship with self. And I know that sounds very therapy and something that all therapists say, but it's really true because we put ourselves in those sexual contexts, in those sexual situations. For some people, they might never struggle with sex. They might have kind of muddled through, you know, like trial and error, worked it out, kind of, and always, and be okay. And they're satisfied and that's great.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Every sexual experience is going to be different between those partners in that time, in that moment, in that context. It is not like a universally applicable. Formula. Now, what we can do is we can”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And actually, when people are relaxed and comfortable and calm in those situations, they're able to connect with that other person more. And we're kind of able to, I suppose, follow the pleasure path a bit more or kind of affirm each other a bit more and understand that actually someone says, can you touch me here? It's not because you weren't doing it the right way. It's just because that might be their preference. But we cannot be mind readers. We cannot know what our partner's like until we communicate that with them.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because we don't have a reference point. You know, are we doing a good job? And we feel if we think we are bad at sex. That's really personal Isn't that brutal? You know, that's really a difficult thing to hold on to. And then we go into our next sexual situation thinking, I'm bad at this. And actually, what's more likely to do is make us struggle.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of approaching it with that positive framework or like connecting framework or open framework, and also let's work on this together. This is a shared venture, something we want to do together. Something for us to think about, like how can we go about this? Because what can also happen is we isolate the problem in one partner. When there are two of us there.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Kind of create a further sense of stress or anxiety in that sexual space. So what I always talk to people about is like leading with a positive, you know, like I'm really love our relationship. Like I'm loving what we're doing, but maybe there's something we can work on here or how can we do this better. So leading with a positive, you know, the affirmation, because if someone comes at you and we're often really sensitive to criticism also in our intimate relationships and this isn't good enough or you're not doing this or our immediate response is defensive or attacking we're not open to hearing what they have to say we're already like shut down before they've even got there so”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not in the moment when you're having sex, so not just kind of like in bed like just before, because also what you don't want to do is”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Performance anxiety is one of the key things that I work with with men because where there is not a physical kind of indicator or reason for why they might be struggling, for example, with erections because Getting into your head too much again creates. Sex has become not fun, exciting, pleasurable connecting. It's become anxiety provoking, stressful, fearful, you know, don't want to be here, would rather avoid. So in a way, the way I describe it a lot is the meaning of sex has changed. So the way we relate to it has changed.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Saying all of that stuff to us just because our thoughts are not a physically represented being doesn't mean they're not as distracting as something else.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that is interrupting arousal. You know, the body's process of us kind of enjoying, you know, our body kind of working with us, the kind of sexual arousal process. And so Our thoughts are as distracting as they're kind of being like someone in the room that's not the person we're having sex with or someone actually like walking in or kind of”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think that is the fear of judgment, like the fear of offending, the fear of hurting our partners, the fear of us not being able to go back once we kind of, it feels a bit like Pandora's box for some people, like this idea of talking about sex in a relationship. If I open this up, like, how do we close it? Or I think a lot of people have the fear of, if I open this up, then every time we have sex, we're both going to be thinking about this or we're both going to be completely in our heads. And what we know is when we're completely in our heads when it comes to sex, we're not experiencing what's going on in our bodies.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think it's so hard again, isn't it? Because we just don't know how to tackle these topics, as you say. How do we manage talking about something or exploring something that we just have no idea where even to start?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think it is. And, you know, there are, for example, like conditions that mean that people can't have sex for numerous reasons. So like sexual dysfunctions or particularly for women, there is a condition called vaginismus, which is where there's an involuntary contracting of the PC muscles, the pelvic floor muscles, where they're unable to have sex. And that, we think, affects about one in 500 women. In no way am I saying that's necessarily what was happening here. But we also know that. That it's about how we work together as couples, how we work with bodies, what would make things more helpful, how we can look for kind of practical advice. But it's about understanding, okay, how do we help ourselves here rather than, again, that assumption of like something's going wrong?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is it because my partner is no longer attracted to me? That tends to be the first thing people go to, what's going on? Is it because our relationship isn't working? Is it when we don't have a clear kind of obvious answer like we've just had a baby, for example? So the assumptions that go with that why has sex changed? What's going on? But also the, well, everyone else is having sex once a week and we're having sex once a month. So, that we must have a problem. There must be something wrong with us.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I think that the thing is, is working out again and what we're looking for is a measure of how we're doing By knowing that answer. And I think one of the things is for some couples, it might be, as you said, they might kind of work in different countries. It might be every time they see each other, they have great sex, and that's enough. Like that works for them. For other couples, it might be we have sex once a month, and it's really good. You know, we're both enjoying ourselves and we feel like our needs are met. Great. For other people, it might be once a week. You know, I think it's about determining what your normal is or what is right for you. But again, the kind of worries and anxieties and stresses come from A, we're not having enough sex. Why is that?”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think we do have an idea of, I don't know what kind of modern surveys say. There's a big survey that's done kind of every few years, but I haven't actually seen the results of that one yet.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What's the answer then? So someone I interviewed talked about the amount of sex we have as a red herring. The kind of regularity of sex doesn't determine the satisfaction of it or the kind of pleasure of it or the enjoyment of it. And I think What it feels like we've been trying to do is find an objective way of measuring sex. So it's this idea of, okay, well, we're all trying to find the answer to sex, like how to be good at sex, like what that looks like, how to know where we pitch ourselves against everyone else. And regularity is one of the only kind of objective measures we have of that. So it's the one that we kind of all lean into or we all want to know the answer to. Whereas what I would say is”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that what same-sex relationships don't battle with as much is the gender assumptions, the gender narratives, the gender norms. Kind of idea of like men do this and women do this. But you know, there are also kind of every relationship struggles in some way with that dynamic of we're two individuals. How do we work on our differences and our similarities together, that interrelational part, which is what happens between us, what are our Triggers, how do we kind of what makes us both anxious or what makes us both feel secure or what makes us both feel closer and also navigating that? You know, that's really the battle that all couples have.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How does that fit people then when they're like, oh, but that's not how it works for us? Or, for example, male partner, if we're talking about heterosexual relationships, who is less confident and a female partner who is more confident? And so actually it's the other way around. Then they're thinking, okay, but this isn't what we think everyone else is doing, so maybe there's a problem here when there isn't, because that's what's working for them.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do we break away from them? And it might be that that's a conversation between those two people, and that's the best way of doing it. But also there's all of these kind of so many of these ideas about sex are so steeped in history, but we've never asked them. We've never had them challenged. So an assumption being, you know, a really historical message that we hear all the time, something I hear all the time when I'm talking to people about like myths, you know, what are the sexual myths or what are the sexual rules that you think are kind of applicable to your sex life. A really common one is that men initiate sex. Men are the initiators of sex and women are the responders now.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think part of the problem in that is that binary approach is that If there's something that I would want everyone to understand, it's that we can be different, but we are also so similar. You know, and like this idea about performance when it comes to sex is hugely detrimental to everyone. Again, probably like, what is one of the biggest things I want everyone to think about is the assumptions, you know, what are the assumptions that we're making about each other based on gender norms and expectations, based on historical messages.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that it's something that people have a lot of questions about. It's something that I've talked about on my podcast because it's what people are curious about. Because it's also a breaking away from our kind of heteronormative mononormative model of relationships, then I think That's about working out what the rules are for those people. How do they hold, what are the rules for them that work for them? How do they understand the rules around things like disclosure, rules around things like how much detail do we go into? How do we manage this? But actually communication for lots of those relationships is really good because they have to be really good in order to manage that different style of being or also just the practicalities of there being more than two partners in a relationship.”
2021-03-22 · The Diary of a CEO · World Leading Sex Therapist - How To Avoid Having Bad Sex - Kate Moyle · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT