YouSaid · the spoken record

Matthew Hussey

lines on the record: 100
first: 2022-05-12
most recent: 2022-05-12
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Kind of that limiting belief started to dissolve in the face of that. And it made me want to, you know, it really made me want to represent that in the world and not even if people can take advantage not going into life waiting for that waiting to like spot that, but instead just going, some people will take advantage and other people won't. But I want to be someone who trusts people.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know I don't know. I I don't even know when it started I can't remember if I ever felt like that when I was a kid, but certainly as an adult. That's been something that I I think Been a part of my life that I've really had to let go of. And one of the things that allowed me to start to let go of it was Real friendships. Real friendships where I noticed that there were people around me that just We were really kind, or if I needed help, if I needed advice. I think probably during that period of time where I was desperate with my chronic pain. There were people Gave me their time and their energy, even if they didn't know how to help. There were people that had no reason to give me time and energy. It would have been perfectly acceptable for them to who decided to give me their time, even people who had no time. And that”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think my dark side is. Part of me that thinks Everyone has an agenda. That they can't be trusted. They're being. Even if they're being nice, there must be some angle. Somewhere. And therefore, I should be on my guard and suspicious at all times. I think that is my dark side. And I think that that. I think that has been one of the things in recent years that I've really had, that's been part of my vulnerability is opening myself up to Acts of kindness and connection that aren't driven by any agenda and making peace with the times where they are. But I was, I brought forward my best and most authentic self anyway.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And yours hasn't, and you stay vulnerable, and it's reflected in the kind of conversation you're open to having. So I really appreciate it.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you for such thoughtful questions Your vulnerability comes across, and that's not, you know, when you've achieved a lot, it's easy for your identity to calcify.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You start making the best of where you are, and you lose this idea that there is some perfect state of anything outside of where you are.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And we kind of thought about all different places we might go and we did this whole exercise, this mental exercise of thinking about all of these places we could live and would live and so on. We ended up settling on LA and we came right back to where we started, but we both said actually, no, we want to be here. And what was really funny is the moment we decided, okay, no, we're going to be here. We started doing all of these little things in the house. We went out and bought a couple more plants and we started thinking about what we wanted to put on this wall that doesn't have anything on it right now. And we, in other words, the moment we decided to settle on, we started investing differently and consciously in the house that we were actually in. And that's actually where all the enjoyment comes from is once you start investing where you are.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Say, I don't know. I mean, we'll see now that's okay to build in flexibility, but not if it's a way of ever avoiding settling on something. Because when we don't settle on something, we actually rid ourselves the opportunity of making it the best it can be. And when we were going through a time recently where we were talking about, should we stay in LA or should we go somewhere else? What do we think?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Settling on is I made a conscious decision. I settled on living in London. I didn't settle for living in London. I decided this is a great city. Yes, there are many other great cities, but this is a great city and I am going to make living in London incredible for myself. I'm settling on living in London. And I, for years, I noticed in my language, even though I've been living in LA for 10 years, anytime someone would ask me, so is LA home, I'd go, I don't know, I might leave. Next year I might not be here. I'm not sure. We'll see. I've been doing my job for 15 years. I clearly in a practical sense do not have an issue with commitment. I've been doing what I do for a very long time. But if you'd asked me in general, do you see yourself doing this for your whole life?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What I did was demonize the word settling, which self-development tends to do. It's all about optimization. Never settle. And I was coming from that kind of maximizing, optimizing, self-development place. There's a difference between settling for and settling on. Settling for says that you had a standard that you accepted less than. Settling on says I'm gonna put my focus and my energy on something. And it's going to be extraordinary because I'm going to make it extraordinary.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“He says, which is so compelling is that There's no one right book. There's no one right country. There's no one right person. There's the person that we decide we resolve to make the best relationship with. There's the country we decide to make the most of living in. There's the job that we decide to make the most of. And the way I think about it is. Not people settling is a very Emotive loaded word. I used to write in people's books when people would bring me on tour a copy of Get the Guy. I used to write as standard in the front of their book Never Settle. And I now look at that and I'm like I don't think that was strong advice. I don't think that was strong advice because”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I keep telling myself, I'm going to do all of these things that I'll never get to, but because I can't come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die and I'm not going to get to do even a quarter of these things I'm planning to do. Because if you really understand how short life is, you know you're not going to go to half of the countries you want to go to. So you better start picking the ones you really want to go to. However, that seems to make the stakes of every decision really high, right? This is Berkman's point that it makes the stakes of every decision really high and that would make us even more decisive, even more indecisive. My God, if you're already telling me that I have to carefully select the books I'm going to read because I'm only going to get to read 1% of the books that I have or even want to read, let alone the number of books out there, then how do I ever choose what book to read next when I know I'm only going to read 60 more in my whole life or 100 more in my whole life?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“His book for anyone who's struggling with Being ready for commitment is a really powerful book. You could read that book as a dating book. Because he talks about the issue of deciding. Deciding to do something. And then the thing that we decide on, we resolve to make that as good as we can make it. Because by definition, you can't experience all of life. You can't experience every man in the world. You can't experience every woman in the world. You can't, like, you can't. So, when we're trying to, what he describes it as is almost a fear of our own mortality or a lack of acceptance of our own mortality, he talks about it in a time management sense, that the fact that we're trying to cram so many things into our day is really a representation of our lack of acknowledgement that we're going to die.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I couldn't agree more. And I can't speak as somebody who has done it already. I can only speak as someone who I realize that my Relationship with the idea of permanence Has not been a very productive one.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I had never enjoyed anything for my whole life. I can't point to a piece of clothing I've always liked. So, why would I think that I'm going to tattoo something on my arm and I'm still going to like it 20 years from now? That freaked me out. And why it came to realize, not with everyone who gets tattoos, there are plenty of foolish tattoos out there. But why did realize is that Actually, a lot of the people that I knew who got tattoos just had a different relationship with the idea of permanence. I knew someone with a lot of tattoos and she said, you know, this just the meaning changes over time. She was a client of mine who said over time they come to mean different things and they kind of evolve with me. And so, in a way, though to you, it may look like the same tattoo, to me, it's.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is silly to me because it gets into all these ideas of love at first sight and, you know, I just, we came to each other, ready-made to be each other's person. I think that's an insult to the amount of work that a long-term relationship actually takes. And I think that we get so terrified of making the wrong decisions in life. That we avoid the decisions altogether. And that's a form of commitment phobia is avoiding the decision because you're so terrified that you're going to make the wrong choice in a decision that feels so high stakes. I never I realized I never, I always used to kind of, when I was younger, friends of mine that would get tattoos, I'd be like, you're insane. You're crazy. Why would you put something on your arm that you can never take off again? Every fiber of me said that's a terrible idea.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think we have to dispense with this idea that the one exists. I think that's really, really important. I don't think the one exists any more than the one true career exists. I think that we... Someone becomes the one by what we build with them. Now, they have to start with the right raw materials as do we. You can't just, not anyone can be the person we do that with, but the person who becomes the one is the person that... I mean, it sounds so funny, but is the person that becomes the one? You know what I mean? If you go the distance with someone, they were the one. If you don't go the distance with someone, then they weren't the one. This idea that there's one person for you in the world that you're supposed to meet.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She's a beautiful person. Everyone loves being around her. Everyone loves her company. She could be out there having a ton of fun. She could be out there having all of this excitement. But she also is someone who values. She is very, very big on valuing the things that lead to long-term happiness, not short-term pleasure. And I always want to be in a relationship that is, you know, has pleasure in it. I don't, you know, I don't want to ever settle for a relationship where you say, well, I'll sacrifice that because. Have all of this other stuff. You know, I do believe that it takes, I think that takes effort. I'm suspicious of anyone who says when it's right, it's easy. I'm suspicious of that because to me, anything long term, any commitment long-term requires true effort.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm back to the same place. Now, there's nothing wrong. I have no judgment on any of that. If someone's enjoying being single, if someone wants to do that, if it makes them happy, I have no judgment anywhere. I'm not, I don't want to be an evangelist for a long-term relationship. I can only speak to what feels good to me in my life and what feels like I want to be careful, not just what feels good, but what I actually believe is a A path to a more meaningful life, to a happier life. And I truly believe that is the path that myself and Audrey are on is she could be single and she could like.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Chemistry is overrated. You just need someone who's a great teammate or whatever. I don't think chemistry is overrated. I think an absence of chemistry can be dire and will hurt you. Those things were there But what was also there is I thought this is someone that I can really build with. And I'm in a place in my life where I want to build. Because there's so much more that can come from building something here. There's so much more that can come from the beauty of what gets built than just like for me, dating was like resetting every time. Like, go build a couple of bricks down and then”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It literally is just a feeling followed by hangover. And that became reliable in my life, where I just went, oh, this doesn't work. For me to continue down that path would be literally that definition of insanity. I'm going to be, I suddenly am going to. Find the right set of casual flings that's going to make me happy. It just nonsense. I got to a point in my life where I saw two things happen. I met someone who had everything that I could ever want in someone that you would build with. Not to mention the obvious stuff, the chemistry, you know, the fun we have together and all of those things, we're all there. I'm not one of those people who, you know, when people talk about like a relationship as if.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that firstly you have to look at Almost take it out of the context of relationships and say there's lots of areas of life where you could say, How do you Not drink or not get high and not eventually find life boring where you need to do that. Then you also know if you're drinking or getting hired, there's a cost to that, right? There's an actual cost. It makes you feel like crap afterwards. There's a hangover. And so there's a price to pay for that. I don't think of it just in terms of. Will I get bored? I'm always thinking in terms of, okay, but what's The other opt And has the other option ever worked for me The answer to has the other option ever worked for me is no. I got to a point in my life where I felt like I have empirically proven that this thing doesn't work. Casual relationships don't make me. They don't make me happy.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I have massive humility about commitments like that in the sense that Like I said to you earlier in this conversation, I don't pretend to know about things I don't know.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Have found that to be an immensely connecting experience because you may do something different to me, but why you like that thing might actually resonate with me? In terms of why I like this thing. I might find that we're actually at the core quite similar even though the way those values or those desires or those needs are represented on the surface is different. And I think people give up a lot of great people because of their immediate judgment of the differences because they haven't actually sought to understand the connections that are under the surface.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To decide what the intention must be behind that. And then to judge someone on that. And one of the things that I think would help people, because it's very easy to say, well, date people who you already like the way they are and don't date people or don't go any further with people that do things you don't like. That's oversimplification. What I would say to people is there's always going to be differences between you and the person you date. There's always going to be things that you, I'm not talking about things that you genuinely, ethically abhor. That's a problem, right? But if someone is doing things that are different. Take a moment to be curious about that thing. What is it for them about that thing that they really like? What does it represent to them? What's driving them there? Why are they that way?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Happ And we ought in some way are prone to that. We are trying to oil the joints of early dating so that everything moves in this nice smooth, romantic direction. And we kind of, if we're not careful, we do end up playing a part that we think will just create the most energy, the most good energy, the most romantic energy. I think that what I've learned as a personal lesson is I would judge things very quickly in people. Without trying to understand what was behind them. Why is this thing important to you? Why do you like doing this? What is it about this thing? Because it's very easy when someone's different to how we are, it's very easy to decide what that means.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I think that we have to To a certain extent, say, am I at peace with who this person is today? Because if I'm not, why would I get into a relationship with them? I'm literally getting into a relationship on a wager that they're going to become what I want. What are the chances of that?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I think people have to suspect themselves in the beginning if they're choosing people that they're not aligned with in the first place. That I think is the fixing thing is often a big symptom of the fact that instead of choosing a partner, you chose a project of some kind, right? And now I'm unhappy because I needed these things from the beginning, but this person isn't doing them. But I knew that in the beginning. It's not like I suddenly found out that he enjoys going to the pub. First four dates were in a pub Know the guy likes a drink. I knew that in the beginning.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That isn't vulnerability. That's a different thing from vulnerability. Vulnerability can be acknowledging that there's something that... Don't like about yourself all the time, that can be an act of vulnerability, but you have to suspect yourself if your instinct with someone you don't know that well is to immediately go to that place.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Necessarily revealing all of our insecurities all at once And one important reason for that Because when we tell an insecurity If I tell you something I don't like about my face. I'm telling you what to think about my face. Not letting you have your own opinion of my face. Couldn't type the view that there's some part of your body or there's something you're not a fan of in yourself, you can take that opinion. But you don't get to be the opinion for everybody else. Reason we're saying it is because we're almost trying to beat them to it. You know, let me just tell you that I don't like this thing about myself because then I'll feel better that it's out in the open. But I'm presupposing what you're going to think about it”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It can be laughing at somebody else's joke, or it can be talking about something that you really enjoy doing. That's a little bit nerdy that you, you know, I might not put on social media all the time, but it is something I actually do in my spare time that's kind of geeky. But I love it. Sometimes, or even if it's not geeky, if it's just something you're super passionate about and you talk about something with passion, that's a vulnerable act to express that you're passionate about something is vulnerable because they may not think that thing is cool or even just to be passionate is to be vulnerable. You might think that my passion is too much or you might think it's silly. So you could be vulnerable about the right things early on. And the more someone gets to know you, the more you can kind of let them in on some of the things that you struggle with. Vulnerability isn't...”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What she did with that advice is when on the next first date and told the story of her dad getting in a car accident that changed her whole life in a really awful way at the time. I had to say at the time, when I said vulnerability, I didn't mean go and tell the story of the worst thing that's happened to you in your life. Vulnerability can be paying someone a compliment. Because in a way, when you pay someone a compliment, you're handing them a little power, right? In a bad way, but you're saying, like, there's something great about you, and I'm acknowledging it. And now you know that I think that you're great in some way.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. Know it's fine to talk about something that you're working on or even in a playful tone kind of nod to something that you're not very good at. That's not the same. I remember being on a TV show in Australia where there was this one woman, she was an amazing woman, but every time she went on a date, it would just be a kind of All on the surface, laughing and just on the surface, on the surface, on the surface, on the surface. And I was like, part of the problem is these guys that go on dates with you, by the end of the day, they don't feel connected to you in any way. And the reason they don't feel connected to you is because there's no real vulnerability at that stage. I said, the next day, I want you to actually connect and be a little vulnerable.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that we have to. There's a way to, firstly, vulnerability in the beginning of dating isn't. Well, vulnerability can be really attractive, but not in a way where you expose all of your wounds and the things you don't like about yourself instantly.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now you really feel like I need to be that guy. And it can take a lot of rewiring and deconditioning to get to a place where you go, oh, if I keep being this way, I'm actually going to attract, I'm just going to continue to attract people who do value the wrong things, who are looking for an Instagram man.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“For a lot of guys, their experience of growing up wasn't one where being vulnerable would have been rewarded. And then you add on to that the additional layer of As a guy, we've been culturally led to believe that being the Caricatured alpha male. That's what women want. And some of our experiences have confirmed that. We lost out to the guy in high school who was much meaner than us and who we knew was not a very nice person, but he had his pick. That's quite scarring for a guy. You go, what does that mean? So I have to be more like that. And so we close parts of ourselves down and then God forbid you come across or have a relationship with someone who confirms that”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that for me, times when I was anxious, I would normally bottle those up. Keep them to myself. I wouldn't express why I was anxious about or what was doing that to me. If we were arguing where I wouldn't really be honest about why I was upset, Give the kind of Strong version of why I was upset. The PR version But I wouldn't give the real reason I was upset that went to the core of me not feeling enough. Me not feeling good enough, of me feeling scared, of me feeling like something was being triggered that I didn't know how to handle. Sometimes, even when I was in pain and there would be other situations from my past where I would kind of not want to reveal how much pain I was in with my head Because I was worried that someone might determine this is not, I can't, I don't want to deal with this. So I kind of keep it to myself.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Real vulnerability is this is something that I never really wanted anyone to see. And I'm taking a risk. When you see this, you're going to still think that I'm what you want”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was jealous of somebody, you know, I felt threatened by somebody else. And it was fed back to me that that was unattractive. And in my mind, that kind of stuck. I think there is, especially in a lot of men, there is a kind of double thing going on in their head where they go, yay, yay, yeah, I know that's really important. But I'm not saying that. Because if I say that, she's not going to think I'm cool anymore. I've spent a lot of time curating this sexy alpha cool image that has attracted this person. You really think I'm going to jeopardize that by showing an actual weakness? Something that, and again, I'm not talking about the weakness of I cry in movies. That's not vulnerability. That you know that's going to be cute. You know that she's going to see that and go, Oh my God, he's sensitive too. Has not vulnerability”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think a lot of men I struggled with genuine vulnerability. We all have our fake version of vulnerability. The The version of going for a job interview and saying what's your biggest weakness? I work too hard. Everyone's got their PR version of vulnerability. It's vulnerability if on some level it just makes me feel like I'm expressing a part of myself that you might not like or you know I can't control your reaction to this and I had been in relationships in the past where I had revealed an insecurity”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've done what I need to do to live a good life, all the rest, and none of those things are dependent on how well everything is going in my life. And that to me is really liberating because it means all the stress that I'm creating is self-imposed.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's multiple ways of achieving our criteria, but it matters to me immensely it's everything that I do meet them each day. An unhappy life for me is one where I don't, where too many days in a row, I didn't hit those criteria. It has nothing to do with how big my book deal is or how many people watched a video today. All those external things that are stressing me out because in that moment when I'm stressed, I've convinced myself that that's what really matters. What helps me is stepping out of that game altogether and stripping my life back down to the absolute basics. If today I call my mum or my brother and have a nice conversation to connect, if I go spend an hour doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu, if I write 500 words If I learn something new from a book, If I help someone, that's my contribute. If I help someone.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Even if it wasn't, it still ticks my create box. Every day when I sit and write for 45 minutes or an hour, I tick that create box in my criteria. It doesn't matter whether I'm writing a book or making a video or doing something else that's creative. I just have to tick that box. I don't, by the way, have to tick it for six hours a day. There's diminishing returns. If I do it for one or two hours a day, I tick that box. Movement or move, I typically I do jujitsu or I do boxing or I'm in the gym But I could even, if you and I went for a hike tomorrow, I'd meet that movement box with that.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of the things that's important to me is to recognize that. Actually, what I need to be happy is not actually that impressive. If I get to I have I call them my criteria Criteria are the things that need to happen every day for me to Feel like I'm living a good life. Therefore, my head hits the pillow, and I feel like today mattered. Today was a good day. And I've distilled that down to a few key words. Create, move. Learn, connect Appreci And contribute. And I really thought about those as my personal formula for happiness. The reason those words sound quite vague is because I actually have many, many different ways of achieving any of them. Right now I'm writing a book. Just so happens that every day I write is contributing to the”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Get a handle on them and reduce them because for me there's a very literal consequence to them going up. And there's a real benefit. There's real treasure to be had in being able to get a handle on those things. So again, was a gift.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I wasn't stressing about being in pain, and I wasn't beating myself up for being in pain because I felt like. It would even sometimes go to the core of me being a man. I'd be like, I'm weak. I'm deficient somehow. I'm not this, you know, I don't feel able. And that made me feel like an elderly person in a 30-somethings body. I was like, what's wrong? So then I beat myself all of this, by the way, is just making the pain flare up. So when I flare up, when emotions flare up for me, it goes straight there for me. And what I learned is, oh, that's interesting. The game now is can I control stress or anxiety or self-judgment or any of the shame, any of these things? Can I control these?”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want to wake up every morning and get after it. And there's so many things I want to do. And that's like, and to a fault, I pack my days and I'm always trying to, and what it taught me was how to slow down and not beat myself up for slowing down because there were days where I was so miserable with it that I had to learn how to just be okay with being miserable today. I'm so unhappy with this today. This is so affecting I can't do that piece of work that I really want to do. I can't get that thing done. I don't want to hang out with people. I don't want to it. And once I let go of all the expectations of myself on that day and said, you know what, then fuck it Just be in pain today Once I did that Would impact the emotional component of it. Because now I wasn't upset about being in pain”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But what I learned And this is true for many people with chronic pain. Is that There is an emotional component to it. And so The way that I relate to it is Has the ability to either make worse that emotional component or reduce it. The pain is always there waiting to flare up. And some days it's at a four, some days it's at a nine. When it's at a four, I can get on with my life. When it's at a nine, I have to almost do the opposite. I have to practice immense self-compassion. Because I'm like you, I'm like.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean So, so much it would remove An extraordinary amount of empathy Chronic conditions can come in the form of physical pain, but they can also come in the form of emotional pain. And there are people When they talk about being depressed or when they talk about struggling with anxiety. There's a chronicity to that, that they are dealing with. Is incredibly hard to understand if you've always been able to make things go away. There is something about a thing you can't make go away that brings you to your knees and truly, truly humbles you. And so it wouldn't just take away an enormous amount of empathy. It would take away an extraordinary amount of humility. To lose that would be to lose, I think, the most powerful parts of who I am today.”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My determination, my ambition, my. Intelligence, my problem solving could not. Always found whatever was going on in my life, I could fix it. I couldn't fix it. And in that sense, it sort of became my first brush with mortality because I went, I just have to somehow learn how to make peace here. In doing that And there's a whole conversation to be had on how I did that. But in doing that, I have now learned to deal with something that I know in one form or another is going to come up again and again in my life. It may not be in the same context. It might be through the death of somebody I care about. It might be through some other traumatic circumstances. I can't even picture right now that are going to happen to me. But I know that in the process of handling that trauma, I have become more robust. In my ability to deal with”
2022-05-12 · The Diary of a CEO · Matthew Hussey: The Secret To Building A Perfect Relationship · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT