YouSaid · the spoken record

Mia Khalifa

lines on the record: 71
first: 2023-05-18
most recent: 2023-05-18
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Ya, yeah, but it also, it's not, I don't take offense to, I did, I did a while ago, but I don't take offense to it or I don't feel like. My name's actually Sarah. It's either or.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Um, I think you need to forgive yourself for if someone has crossed your boundary, you need to forgive yourself for letting that happen, for giving them a position in your life to hurt you like that me telling you that wasn't to explain or shift blame. It was to give context as to where I was mentally.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, they were also unhealthy, had mental health issues I don't know if they've ever addressed, but it's a sickness, and I'm They were not the right point of this is when your relationship with yourself isn't right, you are not going to find the right person. You're not going to choose the right person. You're not going to choose someone who Wants the best for you or will bring the best out of you because you don't want that for yourself.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It started off as just online. But then eventually, yeah, when I was. Asked to I was given a business card and told to think about it. I went home. I laughed it off and the consensus was you should do it. I think it would be great. That's what I mean.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it was there was no encouragement. There was no pushing towards anything. It was an extremely unhealthy relationship. And I even feel weird calling it a relationship because the dynamic was not one of a relationship. It was more one of someone who saw a toy to play with. The industry they were in is probably not the one that you're thinking of. They were in the army. It wasn't even, it had nothing to do with the porn industry, but it also had everything to do with it. They were the ones who Kind of That whole world in front of me and encouraged it.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I wouldn't have known what happened in a week's time. It was, I mean, I got talked into eloping to Las Vegas four days after my 18th birthday. So, if you ask me where I see myself in five years, I don't know. I would have looked at you with dough eyes and said, I don't know, and then looked over at him. Where do you see me in five years? I didn't have A sense of self, so I attached myself to someone who was more than happy to abuse that and someone who could see that and see someone easily. Manipulatable? But at the same time, Eager to please. So. Yeah, it was just the perfect storm.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes Yes, the age difference had a play in that dynamic. My low self-esteem had a play in that dynamic. Everything was just kind of like.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“People who's looking back on it now, whose opinion, I probably shouldn't have respected back then, let alone today. So that is a downside. Made a lot of choices that I can't take back porn being one of the biggest ones, but I feel like that wasn't even the first one. The first one was getting into a relationship that I never should have been in with someone who was. Extremely abusive, extremely Dangerous in the sense that. Looking back on it and having the self awareness and being able to call it what it was is grooming. It was just a relationship that I feel like a lot of girls get into when they're in their late teens.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So much. It's such a broad spectrum because you can either turn into a people pleaser or you can turn into an insufferable. People pleased are on the surface level, everyone loves a people pleaser. They want to please everybody. But the downside of a people pleaser is they want to please everybody. Have no boundaries with themselves or with other people. They don't respect their own boundaries. They don't respect others' boundaries. If they're people pleasing person A and what person B wants goes against what person A wants, they will find a way to please both of them. So a people pleaser. Also turns into someone who lies, someone who deceives, someone who is a habitual boundary crosser with themselves and with other people. Like it's, there's a spectrum to it. I would say it was definitely a people pleaser. I also sought validation from.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think insecurity leads you to Leads you to do things for validation that you otherwise wouldn't if you were secure in yourself or if you respected yourself or if you loved yourself.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was very hard on myself. I was very angry at myself for not fitting in and for not being a certain way. And Yeah, just I did not like myself. I didn't like the reflection in the mirror and me not liking the reflection in the mirror obviously affected my confidence, my self-esteem, everything. So in turn, I also didn't like the choices that I was making, which made me not only hate the reflection, but hate the person that I was with at the end of the day”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very much so. I think, yeah, I've always been. An introvert and very aware of what I was going through. And even like going into my teen years, I've always been aware of the fact that what I was feeling is shame or what I was feeling is I'm not feeling like I'm enough I've always been aware of that feeling. There was also confusion with it, but I think self awareness has been. Prevalent the whole time”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It went to the extreme side of that. I was definitely one of the darkest kids. I was bullied for being Middle Eastern. It was around the time of 9-11. That was pretty difficult, especially since it was in Washington, D.C. and Washington, D.C. was heavily impacted by 9-11. The Pentagon was hit. New York is not that far from us. It's about four hours. so many people in my school either had family and parents that worked at the Pentagon It was a lot of Bullying that then turned into internalized racism and all I wanted to do from then forward, like you said, you wanted to relax your hair. You wanted to, you wanted to assimilate and fit in. I also wanted the same thing. And I just. Held that in and.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, it's not even coming to America. It's being in Lebanon. There was colorism there. I was the darkest one in my family. There was colorism at the school that I was at. I felt like a bit of an outsider because I was darker than what the beauty standard for a Lebanese girl is, which is light skin, light her skin, all of undertones, dark hair, green eyes. Like that's the epitome of a beautiful woman in Lebanon. And then I moved to America and that just got...”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Taking risks, honestly. Taking a few risks here and there and seeing them play out for the better and learning from my mistakes and learning what I want and Saying no to a lot of things to get to what I want, like job opportunities and things that didn't really align with what I thought I wanted in a year or two or five years or even ten years as like my confidence started to grow and I started to actually see life plans for myself. Taking risks and Walking away from those risks either having them play out for the better or learning from the mistakes and learning, oh, this didn't work. This is what I need to do next time. Oh, this didn't work. I crossed my own. I crossed a boundary of mine and now I don't feel good. Now I know this is past where I should be pushing myself. A lot of trial and error.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It seemed unimaginable for a while, but my mental health was also not as strong as it is today. There was a lot of periods in my life where I couldn't see past forty-eight hours, let alone 10 years. It was very day-to-day for a while. And I think that's why I'm so confident because right now, if you ask me what I can see in 10 years, I feel like I can answer that. I know what I want. I know what my goals are and what I want to accomplish. Yeah. Even in interviews five years ago when they would ask me, where do you see yourself in five years? I would always say, I have no fucking clue. I don't know where I see myself next week.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Makes you feel confident. Like, I feel confident even when I mess up now. Whereas if I messed up five, six, ten years ago, it would send me into a pit of shame, a really unhealthy. Just downward spiral that would get me nowhere.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm going after the things I actually want and I'm growing into my confidence and the self-assurance that I've gained from doing the things I love and accomplishing my goals has formed who I am. And it feels really good and it feels very validating and it's just It's never clicked before, and they always say, like, oh, the confidence is the key to everything. Confidence will unlock everything for you. And I never really understood that because it's like, okay, where the fuck does the confidence come from? How do you just simply get confident? And I have grown to realize that confidence comes from just accomplishing things that you want to accomplish and being proud of yourself. And that pride.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It honestly feels like. Last year or two that's where my life started and where I should start because the woman that's in front of you right now has been a work in progress and is still a work in progress. And I feel like I've been my most authentic and purest form of myself in the past year or two. Like the closer to today we get, the more secure I feel in who I am and who that person is. But obviously there was a lot of other things that happened to get me to this point. Yeah, to answer that question like a year or two.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Company going after me publicly, the major production companies prey on vulnerable young women. Didn't shower, didn't brush my teeth, didn't eat, didn't leave my bed. Following me for the rest of my life, but I am not the sum of the things I've been through or the adversities I've faced.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I lived through a lot of conflict in Lebanon, and then I moved to America, and I was bullied for being Middle Eastern. It was around the time of 9-11. That was pretty difficult, made a lot of choices that I can't take back.”
2023-05-18 · The Diary of a CEO · Mia Khalifa's Heart Breaking Reality Of Being Controlled By The Adult Industry · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT