YouSaid · the spoken record

Nancy Jo Sales

lines on the record: 99
first: 2018-09-19
most recent: 2018-09-19
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“I'm trying to get somebody to give me a chance to do another documentary. I have an idea for. That's really what I think I want to do now. Dating still. I love doing this so much. Not dating something completely unrelated.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This country is a real problem with addiction of all kinds food, alcohol, drugs. So, how do you date now? And he said, Well, my therapist said I should really get a hobby, you know, to like take up my time when I'm not doing it, working or whatever. So he started, he took up swing dancing.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Cocaine, and he reached out to me and he said, I'm not really feeling okay. What do I do? So I hooked him up with a person that I know who's in that medical profession about getting some help, cut to like a year later, he doesn't use, he went to different, you know, rehabs and so forth and he doesn't use any of that stuff anymore. It's all related, I think. It is.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just, he's the tender man, the Tinder King or something. Right. There were like Reddit threads about him. Everybody's talking because he was effing a different girl on Tinder every night. So he kind of became my friend. He's a young guy. It's okay because we don't know his name and you don't know who he is. But he's a real person and he became sort of my friend. And a lot of these guys become, you know, women too become my friends because I like them. They're interesting. So he reached out to me a few months after the piece came out and he was having a lot of trouble emotionally He had a lot of addictions, not just a tender, but drinking and drugs.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because you don't like it. You don't want to look at it anymore. You don't want to look at it anymore. That's so funny. So this is, I should, I'm way too addicted to it myself. So there's, it's just a beautiful film with a lot of colors and it's just great to look at. I think there and the dawn of the dating apocalypse. So there's a guy in that story. It's all, you know.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I'll tell you a story. And again, I'm not trying to tell anybody what to do with this film or with any of my reporting. I'm uncomfortable telling people what to do. I don't like anybody telling me what to do. But I report and watch what I found out, you know, and also the film is beautiful. Can I just say that? I mean, beautiful to look at. I have the best DP. His name is Daniel Carter, and he just, I mean, he just made the world of dating even as disturbing and troubling as it is. It's a beautiful film. And just to look at, he's a great cameraman. He did a great job and we had this. I spoke with him. I spoke with Daniel and also the colors for the film about how colorful I wanted to make it. I wanted to look like an iPhone. Right. Because this is all taking place in a very colorful world. Yes, but those colors are for me.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She's allowed. Yeah, you are too. You know that's bad. That's like, oh no. I know that it makes me upset. And I don't want young women to have to see that and have to feel like that's preferable to me, this real person here with a beating heart. Let's end on a puzzle.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know the exact phrasing, but to paraphrase something along the lines of why deal with a real girl when you have this.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, so I've seen these memes lately. My editor, I was really lucky. My editor is only 25 years old. Never did a film before. And this is his first film. And I wanted someone young. I really lobbied with HBO to get someone very young. He's really brilliant guy, I think. And you'll see in the film, he's a great editor Spencer. And so, you know, he's aware of all this stuff. And he's on these apps and he, you know, social media kid. He grew up with social media and everything. And that's what I wanted his perspective in the film. So just a few days ago, actually, he sent me all these memes he was starting to see on Instagram about robot sex.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's not just that I think this, it's I see it. I see it. I interview young guys who Know, and there's some young guys in the film who I feel very emboldened to say and do degrading things because the technology seems to promote that. And we don't want to like blame them, especially when they're really young and they're teenagers and stuff. They're just growing up in this culture. Of course, they're personally responsible for anything that they do. Yeah, it does. Their toxic masculinity is designed.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of course not. Of course not. You don't at all. But I do have one and it does affect how I look at these things. Of course. So that's true too. Both things are true. You don't have to have one, but if you do have one, you know, we can all appreciate that all of our experience is legit. And we can all add to each other's understanding. As someone who comes at it from a perspective that I would call, yes, feminist, it disturbs the heck out of me because I see it as”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sex robots. In fact, there's already some sex robots out there. They're becoming more and more affordable. And there have been memes. Now, you have to understand also the way that this Subject matter affects me and my perspective on it is as a woman and as a woman who has written recently about young women and girls and who has a daughter not that you have to have a daughter to understand”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Always try and not say good, bad. Because I don't know. I know that it makes me sad. And I know that a lot of people who have watched, there's something about it that makes me sad. And I know that a lot of people who have watched the film have said, even though I've been lucky, you know, a lot of people have really liked the film and they're tweeting about it and got some good reviews and all that kind of stuff and coverage. But a lot of people have said that, that it makes them sad, that it seems sad that this is where we are and this is where we're going.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think that there are people, of course, who will just be horrified by that and who will say, no, I don't want to do that. I want to go through all that hard work of knowing someone because that is valuable to me. I think there are lots and lots of people who will still want that and still do that. But I think there are a lot of people who will just think that's...”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's so difficult to do with sometimes. So, I think that probably what's gonna happen is technology, people who want to make money through this technology are going to step in and say, hey, guess what? You don't have to go through any of that. You can just put on your goggles.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, thank you. Put on that thing that's going to attach to your appendages or whatever. That's what he says. Why wouldn't you do that every day? Instead of, you know, people are difficult to get to know and deal with and have relationships with. Relationships are hard, marriage is hard. I did it twice unsuccessfully. Even just the like highs and lows and fallout of a hookup.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Chat roulette, yeah, which Yeah, it's happening, and I think it's going to be Adam Alter says in the film, if you could just put on some goggles and put, you know, some of those things.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's going to become naked stuff. And that's cool if that's what you want to do. But like I said, it's not Did that go to business?”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm sure the dating apps know that. So they're just going to incorporate that into the platform so you can just start doing that right away. Are people going to talk about Tolstoy and stuff? Maybe some people will, but I think a lot of times it's just going to turn into transparency.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Remember, the first thing that's going to happen is live streaming on Tinder and other dating apps. That's happening almost immediately. In other words, people will be able to, instead of just swiping on a picture, that's going to look really... Really rudimentary very quickly. People would be able to stream. They already stream. What most people, not most, but a lot of people do on dating apps is they match and then they go off. Will meet or just have a cyber relationship, maybe sometimes just cyber sex, go to FaceTime. So in other words, kind of take that FaceTime thing and maybe they start, you know, mutually. Like sexting through FaceTime after they're on the app and media, what's your number? So that.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. You know, and I've had other people who I don't think have read that article make similar analogies. But we're not. We're not seamless. We're like human beings. And it's really”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't write the headlines, but dating apocalypse, by the way, was a quote. It got taken up as this weird thing. People were like, oh, she says there's not going to be more dating. I went on a date last night. But that's not, it was a quote from a young woman describing what a mess it all was. But there's a guy on that piece who says, it's like ordering seamless, except you're ordering a person.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, no, just because you look at something critically doesn't mean you're a Luddite and want to just all go away. You want to go live with the Amish and the Amish at cell phones now. I'm sure they have Tinder. No offense to Amish people. But you know what I mean? It's so pervasive and so addictive. But I think that's a good analogy because that's the point at which we should start thinking about it. Like a guy in that article that you referenced, Tinder in the dawn of the day in proportion. He's still mad about that article. I don't write that. I still want to like.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that's the problem. And that's the problem. And they put it into that paradigm. Right. It's that kind of thing. Yeah. Right. And”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, I know, but that's what I'm saying, but dating doesn't fit into it. And that's the problem. And that's the problem. And they put it into that paradigm. Right. What I'm saying, when I like digital, it's that kind of thing.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Whatever it happens to me. I think that's a really great argument for what's disturbing about this because you just talked about buying stuff. Right, I know. That's what I'm saying.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And think about like so, is there any good to it? Because at this moment, I don't actually have an answer to that. When I think of what's good in these kind of things, and this is not a dating act, but like whatever you think of Uber or Lyft, it's utility. When it becomes a utility, it is. But what's happened is dating has become a utility versus I want to buy something, it arrives, that's better than going to Best Buy. It is. It just is. It's just a better experience. I'd rather not have done the Best Buy experience, whatever it happens to me.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And being in the moment with yourself. And if you have technology which makes people so disassociative with not only others, but with their own selves, and it becomes this thing where like, this is what I'm supposed to do. I push this button, push that button, send these six messages. And that's one of the guys says in the beginning of the film, six messages is all it takes. And then I'm with this person and our clothes are off.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“She's a sex therapist. She talks about connection and how good sex is really about connecting. And if you have technology to connecting with yourself even with yourself.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's going too fast. We're guinea pigs. We're, you know, we've become products. I think that's pretty clear. We are providing valuable data on a pretty consistent basis to people who are making money off of us. We're laborers in a sense to people who, you know, don't really care whether or not we fall in love and get married or whatever. They want our data. They want our money. Well, Tinder is now charging a lot for its services. After they get you sort of addicted and hooked, a lot of these companies, then they start charging for certain features. But you can do this and you can do that. So what I always try and do in this work is trying to get people to think about that, to think about the man behind the curtain. And really connect with your feelings and how you really feel not only when you're swiping, but when you're actually meeting up with these people and having sex with them and stuff. We have a sex there.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like this before. I just had Jaron Lanier on the podcast. He had written a book about getting off of social media. He's a technologist. He loves technology. But I think one of the things he said that was most profound is we've never had an experiment with all the world talking to each other in a digital format and instantly. And he said, maybe we're not ready for, he thinks humanity's not ready, can't handle what's happened.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think what we have to face is that this is unprecedented. We've never had a way of meeting each other like this before.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I think because they're just too addicted, they're too distracted. They're not paying attention. They're not looking at the teacher. They're trying to text or sext or watch porn or whatever it is or just talking about whatever going on BuzzFeed, whatever, on their phones instead of paying attention to what's happening. They don't know how to be in the moment a lot of the time. So think about a good way.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, talk about this stuff. Some people resisted and said, Oh no, that's not true. And now there's been like, in the last years, there have been like a million studies. Like this stuff makes people, especially young people, feel bad, makes them anxious, makes them depressed. It can lead to all kinds of things like cutting, you know, the sexualization can lead to all sorts of, you know, body image issues and everything. And when I gone to schools, every single school that I have been to talk to teachers. If you want to know what this stuff is really doing to kids, talk to teachers because they have to deal with it every single day in the classroom. And most schools do not ban phones because their parents want them to have their phones so that they can be in contact with them. And the teacher say, this, I heard this again and again and again. This is ruining our school.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No. There's a lot of, you know, when my book, my mom, my book into it. When my book, American Girls First Came Out, like you said, that was one of the first to sort of.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Or does it just remove all the emotion from it so it makes it impossible and becomes utterly transactional? I wonder, I don't know the answer to this because some days I was having a discussion with Kevin Sister from Instagram. I think about Instagram and those other ones a lot because I find them performative and I find them nobody feels good.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, cool. Okay. A guy in a flannel shirt, that's cool. There's nothing wrong with being a farmer. I just, you know, we need farmers. Farmers, I like farmers. What I was trying to say is that they can get very specific and they can go into very specific things. They're trying to make money. So they're like looking at every demographic.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's an app now for everything. Yeah, there is everyone. There's farmers meet farmers something. I went on it because I wanted to know what it was like. What are they doing on here? And I was on my book tour and I was in the Midwest somewhere. Did you meet a fire?”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do more work What about the specific ones like J date or the others? Because that's ad I ever saw. I was driving down Holly Sunset Boulevard and there was an ad for, I think it was J-Day and it said, why is this app different than others? Why is this night different than others? It was a very funny thing. That's cute. A lot of them.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, and I mean, actually, we have this dating historian in the film. She's really great. Her name Zoe Strimple, and she has this great British accent. And she says, but that's just, but Bumble, her critique of it is that just means women have to do more work. And they always have to do more work. And, you know, like.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that a lot of marketing is done with the dating industry that kind of robs, you know, it kind of adopts a feminist discourse and kind of makes it seem like you're going to be all liberated and empowered. If you do this, because, you know, that sells it better. You know, it's like a lot of companies do that with women when they want to sell them something that isn't necessarily in their best interest or even good for them, but they'll say, hey, but if you do this, you're going to be a feminist.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Mechanism. I mean, Right, right. You're just messaging them first. I mean, they don't like. So is there anyone that doesn't? I'm just like that's the marketing for that is that you have control of it, but you don't. Once you've started your first.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, now, yeah, she's in the film and she's being sued now by Tinder for allegedly stealing the swiping mechanism. I mean, Bumble is very similar to Tinder. And the only real difference is that women have to message first. And her marketing, which has been very successful, is that this makes it feminist because you have to message first. And this makes it so that, you know, you can't get harassing messages. But that's not true. I've talked to women who've been harassed on Bumble. As soon as you contact them, they can then harass you. Right. You're just messaging them first. I mean, they don't like.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'd be really interested for you to see the interviews that we have with Whitney Wolf heard. She was one of the original.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Want a real connection, a real kind of lasting, or at least short-term, long-term, whatever, but something real, that's borne out by studies. Most people do want that. Men and women. And the marketing of these companies is that they're going to get that on these apps. And yet, there is no proof or study or anything or data that that is what you get statistically. And even Justin McLeod, who is the CEO of Hinge, who we interview in the film, he openly says these swiping apps, these swiping platforms privilege people who want hookups.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, and yeah, I mean, we don't dismiss that in the film. We do have a character named Claudia in the Santa Cruz section. And she says, hey, look, you know, I like casual sex. I want to have casual sex. I have casual sex on these apps. And that's just fine with me. And that's fine with me too. And that should be fine with everybody. You should be able to choose whatever you want to choose. But the problem is that, as we've already discussed, most people.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. That is the Rosetta stone of the whole thing. They have no responsibility and they don't give an F because it will never affect their bottom line if Nicole is bullied on a website or Dylan, our character in the film, has a guy come over and tries to rape her. There's no accountability whatsoever. And there doesn't have to be. And it's all Section 230. That's the whole thing.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oddly enough, one thing I'm writing about next week is the immunity from Section 230. There you go that these companies have. That's the problem. I'm going to advocate. You can't get sued. I want them all to get sued.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And she says, I swear to God, she's you got to watch it. She says, well, we have tips. Don't ever drink. Don't get in someone's car. What? Don't go to someone's house. Young women have to be really careful. I mean, A lot of young women actually have posted about this and said, This is very, you know, this is one of our problems is that we put all the onus and the responsibility on young women, quote unquote, not to get raped. Whereas, you know, you have all these platforms where you're putting together strangers without any kind of vetting, without any kind of really knowing who this person is. Anybody can say anything from behind a screen.”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I asked Mandy Ginsberg about that. She is the CEO of Mash Group again. She's newly hired, first female CEO of Match Group, and she said, oh, well, we're going to do everything we can to make all of these products. And she actually said, we're in the Me Too moment. We're going to do everything we can to make these products safe and great for women. And I say, okay, this is all on camera. I say, okay, well, how are you going to do that?”
2018-09-19 · Decoder with Nilay Patel · Recode Decode: 'Swiped' director Nancy Jo Sales · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT