YouSaid · the spoken record

Neil Strauss

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2023-11-13
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2023-11-13
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  1. “I'm prepped, but at the same time, I also recognize there's only so much you can prep for. You know what I mean? Yeah. We don't know when these disasters are coming, and we don't know how it's going to come or what it's going to look like. We had a pandemic, so we think we're preparing for the next pandemic, but the next thing that's going to happen is nothing we're ready or we're concerned for. So I think the best thing you can do is be like mentally prepared for. unknown in crisis situations, but I did get like a second passport and all those things in case I need to get my family to safety.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “Learning kind of survival skills. So I guess the way I So I felt that existential uncertainty in a way I did that was doing the things that would allow me to feel safe and give me peace of mind. So the idea is when I feel the uncertainty. I try to take the steps that give me peace of mind and are constructive and not destructive. Sometimes it feels like we're in such an uncertain time. Then people do things that are giving them peace of mind that are destructive to themselves or others, like a lot of hatred and division and things like that. But recognizing, I think, that. Uncertainty maybe comes from within. So, what I did, I guess the answer is when I feel the uncertainty go on a journey that becomes a book, whether that was the game uncertainty about dating, relationships to the truth, or uncertainty about the world was emergency.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “World feels it now because no one trusts the system. No one trusts the government. But this was like it felt new then. It's crazy how now everybody feels this way. Certainly I felt was like fuck, you can't rely on the system to protect you. You're on your own.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “9 11 And then after Hurricane Katrina, I think we had a certain thing in Americans that we felt we were just Americans not touchable or something like that. Nothing bad happened. And then when 9-11 happened and we responded in the way we did as a country and felt like the whole world hated. American terrorists and yellow red, all these alert levels. And when Hurricane Katrina happened and you saw bodies flowing down the street on American City and here was a disaster the government knew was coming and there was nothing we could do about it. I think I felt this existential uncertainty which is like which everybody feels now by the way.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “Yeah, I mean, I really like it. I always want the books to be known more than me. You'll notice in the books, my picture is not on them or anything like that. I really want the books to be done. So I guess I would like if like, oh, that's a new Neil Strauss thing. I can't wait to read it or listen to it or watch it. I just want to be known as like, oh, if. He does something that's worth noticing or reading or paying attention to. So this is a writer or a storyteller or something. But really, I'd rather the... Projects be known, like the new podcast series I'm doing, which is different than the rest. Like in my head, I'm just thinking, I just want it to be awesome and people to be really excited by it. And I think I'm just always thinking about the next project. Can't wait for it to come out and have an impact.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “Or maybe not. Back to the idea feels natural that I do the next installment because that's what I do, that how often we trap out what we've done before. Lately, I've been doing these podcasts. Your crime podcast, and I feel like I'm hopefully helping people and making a difference and storytelling in another way and trying to like. locally. So maybe I don't do that.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “Yeah, I sometimes say here from Mystery who's out there doing his thing, doing workshops in Europe right now, I think. Yeah. It's funny, like a lot of people still doing it or going through just still being them, doing them, right? Going in and out of relationships and how like it.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Good, good question. I don't know. I mean, first of all, he probably would never, I feel like. I don't I don't know. I feel like the game. Maybe I give them neither. I don't know. Maybe I sort of just talk to him and listen. Yeah, I feel like you almost have to read both to get it because the game can be seductive in itself. But also, the game's not a. Game doesn't necessarily end well even within the game for the pickup artist. Yes, I don't know which I give him. Maybe I talk”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “Of service saying, I expect everyone to make me feel good. How can I make others feel good? And how can I make my job is to feel good about myself? There's a great line. I mentioned PM Melody earlier, who's this amazing therapist and author. She says like self-esteem, she come from the inside out, not seeking it from the outside in. And so, like you said, go in the gym, I think doing something physical, you know, like doing something meaningful. Having friendships, social relationship connection, all those things, looking at those different areas of your life and keeping them full, and then looking at the things that are destructive in your life, how often are you doom-scrolling? How often are you comparing yourself to others? How often are you chasing things you don't really want but feel like you should want and all those other things?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “What was the thing? What's great about the stuff in your past, looking at your childhood is you see that it's not you. I always thought it was just me. Like somehow I'm not enough. And then I realized, oh no, I feel like not enough because my mom calling me all these different names, I internalize that and thought that's who I was. And I can say, oh, that's not who I am. And now I get to change. So it's nice to look back and see how these seeds were planted so we can say, oh, that's not me. That was just some programming. And then I can run a virus scan on myself, right? And quarantine the virus. So I think the long cut to self-esteem is figuring out why what those reasons are and then working on them and then all those different components you said of I think the easiest step is being other oriented instead of self-oriented”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “With my son who's in the end the room, we have Sunday service days and we do something of service because I think that's like that I love that you mentioned that like we try to do something. So I think those I think it's true that it's really a combination of stuff and some people just look at one path but it is a little bit of all those different components of working on your psychological health, feeling like why do I feel less than?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “You just did a table of contents in your book. We're getting there. No, but I mean that list you gave was really great. And it's funny.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “Yeah, yeah, I think there's a couple great books on that, but I also think there's no shortcuts to this stuff. Like again, bless things to everyone who does plant medicine, and I'm not against plant medicine in any way, but I think, like, You can't just, I don't, and again, there are plenty of exceptions to everything I'm saying, but I think doing one ayahuasca journey is not going to, you know, or doing one of the workshops that I do in the Hoffman process or doing anything we all, we're this culture where we want these shortcuts. But it's always that long cut. It was like the many year journey we went on. To figure this stuff out is where we got there. So I think maybe there's no other path other than one we took. And if the shorter path we want to gotten there.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “I mean, I think there could be any other book because that was the path A, that was the path I took. Be like somehow I thought female validation would get me there when it really needed to be my own validation.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “Yeah, because I think it was like a really shallow path to self improvement or self esteem. It is nothing. And I think it's interesting. I felt like it did well. Because I think the culture thinks of it as like the douchebags Bible or something like that And for me, it was really like about. male insecurity and that feeling less than. Sort of Finding this very shallow path and also like, it's a path and go in the wrong direction if you keep like you did, the goal is to become a natural echo of all those things, almost like when someone's in a play to painter, play tennis or whatever it is, they're following the form and then they let go and Step into who they are.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “Know it's a weird thing, it was really out of my control, and it's funny because I really feel the book's, I feel like you get the book. Like to me, I was really writing about mail insecurity. Like, it isn't a book about, like you were saying you were lonely, you felt disconnected, you didn't know how to connect. That's what you said, right?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “Yeah, so he's like, I'm really grateful for it. And then I'm like, how can I, what's next? Again, going back to Rick Rubin, his thing as soon as you finish a work and once you share it, you just move on to whatever's next.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “On memory for that. And then there are other people who are still doing that, who are literally the people in that book, the game who are out there still doing the same thing.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “Yeah. Yeah. And my thought was, okay, I have to do something else that strikes people so powerfully become the whatever guy. It was still like, okay, what can I do?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “And then we get stuck How many people do we know that say the health industry where someone's like they stake their health reputation on some something that's really true in the moment and now maybe the research has changed and then they're still they don't want to lose their audience though they're saying something that maybe they don't even believe anymore because we grow and we evolve and if you label yourself as something well man it's hard to move on and so we have to be really careful I think we have to be really careful of that some people by the way there are certain people they have just one mission and that's their mission and they and that's great for them and they're people like you and I who are very growth oriented who keep changing like you had one identity before this podcast you have a completely new one and I no doubt that in like seven years maybe that's saying seven years on all our cells recycling were completely new”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “That don't brand yourself, like let the world try to brand you while you keep moving forward. And I really just think in terms of projects. So I have no goal other than I want the next project I'm working on. I just want to do really great at it and share it and then move on to the next project that I'm really excited about.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “Yeah, it's interesting, and it's funny, man. When I was like a kid, when I was there in college, my whole goal, there was a newspaper called The Village Voice, which was like the cool newspaper in New York. I just wanted to write for the Village Voice. It was like, you know, the center of the art scene and the culture. And I started writing for them when I was in my early 20s. And then everything, that was my life goal. And then everything's been a bonus. And I really think in terms of projects, like I was thinking before your show, I was looking at the podcast thing. It was like the relationship expert, the sex expert, and this expert. Number one, this, and I was thinking, what do I do or what am I? And I believe I have the saying like,”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “And he said, if you're disagreeing on things and not saying things the same way, that's great because if you both think alike in a partnership and want the same things and want to do things the same, then one of you is unnecessary.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “Or anything. And that's it, and it's really having humility in the face of the universe. And there's so many other great points in that book. One of his great, one of his great lines in there is about, and this is true of bands, his business relationships. People get in conflicts. So do you have like a business partner? Do you kind of do it all yourself?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “As an example, the truth was going to be like against monogamy and trying to maybe create a new form of relational and marriage that works better. Because as you were saying earlier, it's all broken. But instead of became a book about healing my own trauma and I sort of listened to that, and that's why maybe the book's impactful.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “Not trying to make a book be something. I'm almost listening to the work and trying to hear what it wants to be. So I really learned to take the ego out of the creative process and surrender to the moment and understand there's something being called into existence that's not about me. And I'm just trying to guide it there and not get in the way. And it was a whole new way of thinking. It wasn't an artist centered form of creation. It was an art centered former creation.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “What have I learned, man? I mean, that book, The Creative Act, I originally didn't plan to write it. I just said, I'll do all the interviews for the book, and you can find a writer because I don't want to, we're friends and it's okay. You need to find the right person for your book. But I just want to do all the interviews because I want to learn. From him because he's produced, but everyone, Kanye, J. Beastie Boys run DMC like Johnny Cash. Can he so wise? And so I just wanted to learn from him. And this is what I think the main thing I learned it's in the book.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “He doesn't procrastinate, he gets it done, he does stuff himself. He doesn't blame mothers for bothering him. He really is like, and he has a strength of positivity. He's, even if he's... Of like quote unquote yell at his kids, but he's so positive and accepting. Something happens, we get right into a victim place right away. Right away, we think why me, or God, why do I have to deal with this? This is supposed to be like this. And he doesn't have that story. And he just does it. And going back to how we're raised, he was raised with a very strict mom and like, you know, and he applies that strictness into his life as a discipline and it works.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “We have a plan and we want things to work out, and there's an obstacle, you had Ryan Holliday, and the obstacle is the way there's an obstacle, or someone's just being difficult to work with or whatever it is. He just takes the call, he deals with it, hangs up and he doesn't get into a story about it. And so I don't know if it makes sense, because I haven't seen this written anywhere as a principle. But when things go wrong or there's something he has to do that doesn't want to do, he doesn't have resistance to anything. He just does it, rolls through it, and moves on. And he doesn't think I'm like one of the biggest actors in comedians in Hollywood. Why do I have to deal with this? He just deals with it.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “I love like, and he's one of a lot from him. He's really one of my favorite people, like what you see, what you see is what you get. He is who he is. What I learned is this. And this is more of a business thing, but he has no resistance. He doesn't have resistance to anything, meaning that”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “You can still, no one's keeping you from doing anything. You made an agreement. If you don't like that agreement, then make a different agreement for your relationship.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “It's really good. And I hear, so I became of the mind of this, which is. Terms of guys like you and I and other mesh and women too who feel trapped in their relationship is. Recognize that they're not keeping me from sleeping with anyone else. I can actually go ahead and sleep with whoever I want. I really can. I can sleep with whoever I want, but I have to be honest and accept the consequences. So if sleeping with that person is more important than my relationship, I'm free to sleep with them. That's actually my choice. So no one's being, you're not being made to do or forced to do anything. It's all your choice. You just have to accept the consequences that, well, that sex with that person better be more important than your relationship.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “You're hiding compartmentalizing something. Some people are so good, they hide it from themselves There's a great line. This is also from Rick Ribbon. He said it's in the book. So he said, I don't trade long term happiness for short-term pleasure.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “So, if you cheat on someone, the harm to you is all of a sudden you've taken the relationship and you just like drove a cleaver through it and now you're living in a separate world than they are. You can't get back to the same intimacy that you had before because intimacy is showing who you are and your vulnerabilities to someone else and being accepted. Right then, you're lying in bed, you're thinking about that other person, you're worried about them texting. You start being of a different little differently around your partner. They sense that and they feel like something's wrong. Maybe it's wrong with them and they behave different and it sets off a whole invisible chain into motion.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “Yeah, good, great, great question. I think the ultimate balance is they have the pin for your mobile phone, but they never use it. Checking your partner's mobile phone behind their back is a form of cheating. And I think a relationship needs both honesty and trust to work. Honesty means one partner's being honest, but other partner distrusts. Going to go just as badly.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “Like, I would just look at her, and I just had walls up that kept me from getting closer. Of really loving her and really accepting her. So you can either do the work with another person or can do the work against that person. Against that person is acting out and fantasizing in your head and resenting. Or the other thing is you can work on yourself and work on how can I get deeper with them and how can I learn to accept them and how can I realize the issues I have with them have nothing to do with them. There's a saying I'm pretty sure it's a saying but that all relationship issues are historical. It's not about them. It's about something that happened with mom or dad and the things you're trying to change and fix were things that you needed from your parents.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “It takes you being the right person. Takes 100% takes you being the right person, and even to the degree that you're going to attract people, you're going to attract someone who's at your level of growth and self-esteem. So like literally everyone who has that list of this is what I'm looking for, like make that list for yourself and become that person, and then you'll meet that person. That's like just 100% true. But then the other side, like you said, then there's the part where it's agonizing where it's like, oh God, I mean, I can speak from experience that once they did all that work, we talked about in the truth. I was like really happily monogamous with Ingrid. Like I didn't look at other people. I didn't chase that other stuff. Like everything was clean. Change was I wasn't afraid of going deeper into intimacy anymore. Meaning that”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “Then you have to look at yourself, and I do this all the time what parts coming out of a wound and what part's authentic, right? So there's one part where, yeah, other people are attractive. Like if you're in a relationship and you find other people attractive or hot or might even think someone's a better match for you. That's healthy. You still have eyes. You still have a comparing mind a little bit. It takes”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  39. “And he was surrounding these two very young plastic surgeried women around him. And I'm like, oh man, I don't know whether to feel sorry for him or what, but I was like, oh, that's like, that's, I guess that's his life choice and good for him, you know. So you can kind of chase that validation. He liked dating multiple women because he liked women competing over him. That felt good when there was drama. Like it made him feel wanted. So you can live basically you're living out of your unhealed wounds, right? You can either live out of your unhealed wounds or you can sort of heal your wound and see what else am I here to heal or what else am I here to do. What are the few things that make me happy and the few things I can contribute?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  40. “Let's see, I just ended like a short but serious relationship, which was interesting. And I guess what's new is just the things we talked about. I think I'm with my son like Fridays to Mondays. So I think it's hard for someone who's not a single parent or doesn't have a child to sort of understand that maybe I'm less available. Could react one of two ways when you organize you're getting older, right? You can go A flashy car and start dating people who feed your ego, and you can just feed your ego till you're dead. And that seems like a horrible way to go. I remember my first time in LA, like when I moved to LA, I was in this like nightclub. And there was this guy in a wheelchair with a older with a mask to breathe. He was like very old, like 70 or 80. I don't know. He was at death's door.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  41. “Yeah, there's a great Japanese writer named Kobo Abe, and he wrote this woman in the dunes, which is a great book and movie. He has this great line. He says like, he goes, we're wired for this tribal existence. And the city is the first place where we had him meet a stranger that's not an enemy. We're still not used to that. Strangers are scary. I think most people are scary. I mean, even now back in the dating thing, like I'm meeting someone on an app and I don't know who they are. Like before, if I met someone they were kind of in my scene or in my peer group or somehow we shared these interests, but there's just a random person on app that literally like maybe they're a scammer, right?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  42. “Some sort of mental health issue, you know, like everyone does in if you don't think you have a mental health issue, there's something going on, you know, look in the mirror. We're still, we're all wounded from the way we were raised. So we really need to get the culture and the system to take mental health seriously. They take all the rest of education.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “And how often did you have like therapist or psychologist appointments? Exactly, right? And that's our culture. Our culture is your teeth better look great. Got to make sure everything physically is fine, but no concern for mental health, no teaching of mental health, so we have no foundation to build on. And then we get to our age where all those wiring and all those patterns are set. And then if we want to heal, we better have a lot of money because it's a rich person's game to heal because insurance and nothing covers it. So like we really want to work on this, again, like if I could be sort of a crusader, maybe I should be. I don't know, maybe I need to be, is it would be for taking like mental health as seriously as we take physical health. Because guess what? Obviously stress leads to all kinds of diseases and also so many self-harm and other harm are related to obviously mental health issues. And we have this idea.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “On a stat. It's funny. I did a piece for Rolling Stone on Elon Musk, and similar thing happened where I told him. I have to see how they did that study before I could even comment on it. That said, I think we're in a crisis. I think what we're speaking of is we. There's a real mental health crisis. And if you think about when you were a kid, like how often did you have doctor's appointments?”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  45. “Let's hold two ideas. One is there's something going on, and the other one is stats. So when I wrote the truth, I went through, like I started the book with similar stats. 50% of marriages ended a divorce. But I'm like, I got my start, one of my stars is like a fact-checker at the village voice before I was like writing these books and things. And so I'm like, I just really rigorously check facts. If you really dig deep, you'll find that probably 50% of statistics are made up. You'll literally, to the degree that most of them I couldn't keep the stats because either they never existed. In one case, we call the actual researcher. And I think the divorce that or the infidelity stat. They're like, she's like, I never said this. This is not for my research. My name's always attached to this. I don't know how to stop it. So what happens? So a lot of these things, first of all, but I think the sense of all this is very true. I'd be slow to jump.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  46. “And then I think the other thing is. I noticed that on the apps people sort of have this fantasy about what they want, and then they might be with someone start dating a few times and say, oh, you know, that one thing's just not quite right in what I want. And there's so much abundance that they can just go back to the dating pool instead of working it through or writing it out. In other words, before you bet someone out, you exchange phone numbers. That was like an exciting thing. You got the phone number and gosh, mention I call, I guess I'll wait two days to call. And then you call and oh my God, I'm going to see them in four days. And, you know, and there's so much excitement around that. And now you literally just go back on one of these apps and within 24 hours, you have so many options”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  47. “Which it did, but we forgot that the village, it sucked to live in the village. Because in the village, everybody's gossiping. You know, if you step out of line, you're, you see, we were saying earlier, you're kicked out of the village. Everyone tries to keep everyone down because it's petty and it's jealous. And if you're different or express yourself in some other way, you're like an outcast. It used to be that if you left high school and went to college or moved somewhere else, you get to just create a whole new life. And now we're all in this fishbowl staring at each other and it's uncomfortable and maybe feels less safe. On top of that, I think there's some statistic a few years ago that 25% of marriages start in the workplace. And now you can't really date in the workplace anymore. So that's kind of off the table now.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  48. “It's interesting, like he raised this question Why is it when we're more connected than ever that we feel more disconnected? I think that maybe one of the issues, I think it's really tough to all be connected because we thought that technology with this idea of the global village, Marshall McLuhan and stuff like that, technology is going to just create a global village.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. “Yeah, no, you nailed it. I think there's two sides. They abandon it like if a child's abandoned, maybe that child doesn't survive. And that's obviously happened to us, children historically. And then the other side, like you said, if you're kicked out of the tribe, and this is why people are so fearful on social media and all these things, if you're kicked out of the tribe, well, you can't survive on your own out in the wild. We are afraid of abandonment and social rejection.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. “Our biggest fear as a child is abandonment because what happens if our parents out there we don't get milk or water or food and we die, we can't take care of ourselves And so we're fear of abandonment. A great line from the truth was, I think about this all the time when people are scared in a relationship about being abandoned, this therapist. Name the rain said. Unless you're a child or dependent elder, no one can abandon you except yourself. And you're like, you're not going to die if the person you love leaves you. It's just going to hurt and suck.”

    2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT