YouSaid · the spoken record

Neil Strauss

lines on the record: 91
first: 2023-11-13
most recent: 2023-11-13
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Probably there's a period of six months or whatever that there's a lot of discomfort and awkwardness and it requires a lot of communication to work through it.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, okay, I can do safe. I can't do tall, but I can do safe. So that's the idea of intentions. Then the idea of a partner has abundance of you means a lot of people are like this relationship isn't working. We're fighting a lot. Maybe we should split up. Maybe let's try polyamory. That's not going to work versus or it's just if your partner has enough sex, has enough love, has enough connection, and then you're with someone else, there's less of that fear because they're full. Your partner should be full first. Third thing for people are considering doing this in case they're, I'm sure some people are like thinking maybe this will work for me. I think it's called the burning period, which is that if you do”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sure, the intention is, well, what are our intentions to honor each other, to be honest, to respect, and to have sort of intentions, which are discussion points versus, well, you can do that, but you can't do this. And behind it, those rules is an intention. For example, Behind the discomfort of someone sleeping with someone else is the intention is safety. I feel unsafe if you're off with someone else because I could lose you. And so the intention maybe is safety and maybe there are other ways to get that need met. As a short guy who's like literally five, six, and people are always looking for someone who's like six feet or over a guy and you're like, oh man, I'm like six inches below the mark. I realized, oh no, what they want is like safety there or security being with someone who feels bigger or stronger helps them feel safe.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's someone I met, probably the wisest person I met. I forget his full name, his name was Pepper, and he had two big thoughts, and one was that intentions are better than rules? And then his second thought was your partner has to have an abundance of you before they can sort of be with other people.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and here's what's interesting I found that just as many people cheated in polyamorous relationships is monogamous relationships. I'll give you an example, like one of the first people I met, like maybe they have a boundary like, oh, you're not allowed to do this specific sexual thing with other people. You're not allowed to do this. They would still break. They can literally do like 95% of what they want and 5% is restricted. And they'll cross that boundary. I found just as much cheating in that as monogamous. And the idea being that the idea really being if you're healthy, whatever relationship you choose will be healthy if you're unhealthy, whatever relationship style you choose will be unhealthy.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's not good for the person or the relationship. But I think if you can find a way where like. For example, one person I met, he thinks his partner's fabulous and other men, he shouldn't just get to hog all that fabulousness to himself. He wants to share that other people can get to experience that. And so that's right for him.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Including myself at the time, is probably like a wounded person in terms of like, I just want to do what I want, but I want to deal with uncomfortable. And you deal with those uncomfortable emotions, but you can't do what you want because I can't deal with uncomfortable emotions. So I think that the answer is. I think there's like three entities there's you, there's your partner, there's a relationship. I think the right answer is something that makes all three better. So for example, when I was in those scenes, there were a lot of couples and it wasn't sometimes the woman leading the charge, sometimes it was the guy leading the charge where one partner was letting the other partner be more open so they didn't lose them. And they were just silently suffering.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Most people probably do. I think that's probably coming out of like a that was me coming out of a wounded place saying that by half open you mean like I can do what I want and they don't do something I think that usually whoever says that”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some people call it consensual non monogamy or ethical non monogamy, but that's basically you're not monogamous with your relationship partner, but your ethical meaning, you're both honest about it.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I talked to this woman, Stephanie Kuntz, who's like the biggest expert on marriage. He wrote a book on it. And she said, the history of marriage was originally, it was, you know, for property rights and inheritance, and kids were just extra workers. And then it was marriage for love, this radical idea. And she says, now we're in this thing where it's just, you know, tick a box. Like I was at a dinner the other day and a bunch of people were there talking about the relationships and someone's like, well, I'm going to have a kid. I'm freezing my eggs. I want to have a kid later, and I'm going to do this and someone else is like, I'm never, I want to get married and fall in love and have kids. And it's like a tick-a-box thing. Do you want one partner or many? Do you want a lot of people are into ethical non-monogamy now? Do you want kids? Do you not want kids?”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“honesty, meaning that I think you can be honest with your partner. And for example, I know people whose partner, maybe the partner went through menopause and sex stopped and they had a discussion and said, like, I still have these sexual needs. What do I do about it? And they renegotiated the relationship. So I think that we can rethink a relationship as an ongoing discussion between two partners and probably the partner with the lowest comfort will generally win out.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But secretly cheating sometimes on the side. That's how she thinks we're wired. And that the average is about seven years if you have more kids that lasts longer, meaning that's enough time for the child to grow up and kind of take care of self. And then you get to have new children with someone else and vary your genes. That said, that's like the evolutionary perspective. That said, I don't believe like... Evolution is destiny. You know what I mean? It's probably evolutionary People to want to take someone's usurps someone's power and money, and I don't know. I'm sure there are all kinds of evolutionary impulses that we have a prefrontal cortex that allows us to make these choices. I mean, if we had to do everything, I think. Have a choice whether you want to be faithful or not. That said, fidelity is different.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In all my research, I think the person who came up with what I think is the most evolutionary. Argument that made the most sense was Helen Fisher. And she's an evolutionary biologist, I believe, and she said that she thinks it's natural to, and she studied marriage patterns, divorce patterns, and this changes based on the number of kids, but where she believes we're wired for seven years for serial monogamy with clandestine adultery. What she says, meaning serial”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I guess the answer again is like it depends on how you're using it. I don't know. I haven't really thought this out, and there are certainly a lot of studies that. Show the opposite of pornography, but I think if it's just becoming regularly and you're doing it too much, or I'm sure you can use pornography in a healthy way with your partner and watching together and maybe getting turned on and then experiencing something together or mixing it up sometimes. And I'm sure there are ways, I think everything can be healthy and unhealthy. You can drink too much water and die.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Guess the answer is like you. You know the seed by the fruit, so to see if it hurts in my relationship, my sexuality or my relationship with women and things like that.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I always think, like, shit, what is authentic? How can I measure authentic? I don't know what's authentic. I think when I was really inauthentic, I thought I was being authentic. And I realized that a better dichotomy is the creative versus the destructive self. So like if you're watching pornography and then masturbating and you feel better afterward, was it constructive for you or was it destructive? And so trying to do things that are constructive feels right.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let me give you a last thought on masturbation. This is like a crazy thought. I've never shared this. Probably regret it. I'll probably call you later ask you to cut it out. But I think that everything in your life, I think you can be giving yourself a seminar in your life all the time. So maybe we'll end here. But I almost think of it as training. So if I'm going to do it, I'll just think, okay, my goal is to last longer or try to do it twice or something. So I try to think of everything. How can I, even with that, I'm like, how can I train myself to be better? And so I'm always thinking even in my life on how can I. So, a lot of people talk about, even I mentioned this kind of cliche of the authentic self versus the false self.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Was like in a pre tr So, the answer is like, I don't. Maybe I'm not there yet, but I don't have a strong, I think that. As long as it's not compulsive, as long as it's not changing your healthy relationship with women or sexuality, and there's a difference between masturbation and pornography.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I did an experiment once because there were a lot of people who, Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins, for example, doesn't let his band have an orgasm the day of a show or something like that. I think Darren, some director, I don't want to say his name wrong, felt like. There are all these kind of artists who I was talking to who find out having an orgasm felt like they could use. And I think Napoleon Hill and thinking grow rich or something talks about just not letting the energy out and then kind of recycling and using for productivity in your life. And I'm sure a lot of tantric. And other teachings say the same. So I tried an experiment of not doing that. I just felt horrible and I was attracted to everything. I remember watching South Park and like Cartman's mom came on and like and I felt like aroused. It was literally like”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'll give another example that a lot of people might relate to is when you're in a conflict or you're starting to get upset about something, right? And then if you just stay there, you might start to get upset or behave in a way that you don't love. Does that make sense? So, what you want to do is start recognizing the signs of, oh, my heart's starting to beat faster. I feel like maybe there's something you feel in your chest or in your arms for me, like my arms start to get like, I feel like, I don't know, just sort of like a weird tension in my hands because I feel that I'll just say one second, I'll be right back. I'll step back, bring myself back to earth, and then come back, and I'll never react. So I think one of our goals, I think the goal of self-improvement in this work is to be like non-reactive, connected, but non-reactive.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wouldn't know, no, of course, you would have no idea. You'd literally just think, I'm trapped. And that's why these things all work together. So, like the package, the short version of it, because the long answer is deep intensive workshops, ongoing maintenance through group of talk therapy, and tools to use when old behaviors come up. So once you've done that deep intensive workshop and recognize, oh, shoot, I react like this because I'm getting flashbacks to being like suffocated by my mom or my dad, then you're conscious about what's happening. And then as you consistently use the tools, it's you get to intervene quickly, right? So the key is like intervening quickly.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think the repairing part is this. Like there's Inner child's kind of like a word that if you haven't done the inner child work just sounds like so woo-woo. So another way to think about it is this. When you see something that's familiar, that traumatized you as a child or a teen, right away your protective mechanisms from then are going to take over. You gotta disengage it. And so, what works is saying works is recognizing it and saying, no, this isn't that. This is actually okay so you can relax. Just accept.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Friends all the time. So group therapy. Like, for example, we know each other's patterns. So I could be in my therapy thing and start to say something like I'm starting to see this person and this. Then the third thing is tools to use when you're backsliding. As an example, Talked earlier about how someone would get hugged by my girlfriend and I'd start to feel that what you said, that same feeling like I just felt like uncomfortable and wanted to escape. So the tool there was something called reparenting. Reparenting's being the, is like talking to your. Talking to your inner child or talking to yourself, and I just say, Hey, she's not your mom. You can relax. I got this. I'll take care of you. She just loves you and cares about you. And man, accept that. So I'll just give myself that inner monologue.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And we all chipped in for one therapist. So instead of you buying a therapist five, six, ten of your friends can chip out on a therapist, you can do that. Skip a few coffees a week. And then we meet every week. We've done this for probably since my seven years now. Almost the exact same group of people. A few people come in and out. And every week we go in there. And here's my group therapy, I think, and a lot of research backs this up, actually, but research can back anything up, is that it works better than one-on-one therapy is if you're having a discussion with me or a theother therapist, you can just say, well, I think you're wrong. I disagree, even though you don't have a degree, I disagree. But if that therapist and like eight of your friends, I'll say, no, man, you're wrong. You're like, I disagree, but if you all say so, you're probably right. I'll consider that. So I think it's really powerful. And the other great thing is you don't have to wait every week or every two weeks to see a therapist. You're in touch with all your friends, like you said about your group chat. You're in touch with all your friends.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah. So it's powerful. It's great what the Survivors program at the Meadows or it's the Rio Retreat Center is amazing or therapeutic. But there are a bunch of, so you go to these, what always happens or even after any kind of seminar is you leave like, this is amazing. I totally get it. I see who I am. I'm going to go live my best life now. And then you get around the same environment and the same behavioral patterns start sneaking back in and you're back to where you started. So you need the big shift and then you need something for maintenance. That's where talk therapy comes in. So step one, deep workshop, step two is some kind of ongoing maintenance. And here's something I recommend, and it's also cheaper, I think, than therapy, and everyone can afford to see a therapist every week. So you need something that where every week or every couple weeks, your wrong thinking is corrected. So as an example, I got a bunch of guys together in my neighborhood, different men are at the same level in life.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This stuff came in emotionally, and I think it can only heal emotionally. I think anyone who's listening or maybe even yourself, if you had a moment that really changed, it's something you felt emotionally. Oh, if there's an idea and you're like, oh, I get it. It's just a behavioral problem. And then you change it. The things that you understand and you keep making the same mistake, you know, as they called an NLP conscious incompetence, those are the things where it takes something deeper. So deep, intensive emotional workshop. And then everyone goes to these things. The Hoffman process, for example, is very popular right now. Have you heard of that?”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Humble in this world and say, I don't know Though from there, this is the three things, and I think they work in combination. I really think this is the formula. I'd love with the therapy model was redone around this, which is one is you need deep, intensive workshops where you're really like an emotional puddle on the ground crying.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'll give it to you in the way that I think is like the most effective. The first step to heal is humility. Like the number one thing you need is humility. And as someone once told me, the same brain that got you into this problem isn't going to get you out of it. And a lot of people think, well, if I read books and I write books, I love books and I listen to podcasts and I love podcast and do podcast as well. But just taking an information, you're not going to need really humiliated shoot. I don't know the answers and you just render to an expert and just say I know nothing. That's why we're talking before the podcast about AA. And the first step is realizing we were powerless. And I think that humility is the first step to change. Man, it's a hell of a step because it's hard for people to really.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Has that exact same thing? It's like. And so that's why a lot of people who are avoidance don't recognize their avoidance. They're like, no, I want love. I want to be in love. That's my whole goal in life. Yeah, how does it feel when someone actually returns your love powerfully?”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it doesn't have, it's like it's almost like a, and by the way, it's not cheat. Some people will act out in some other way. It could be some other type of escape, but often it's cheating because we feel trapped again and we feel we just want to pop a hole in that. Plastic bag overhead before we suffocate and having that outlet of just cheating or fantasy or drugs or whatever it is, like something there, like just helps escape and not feel trapped. We have our own separate life or we're not just trapped with this one person. It's scary. We feel this like terror. I mean, sometimes before I did all this work, like my girlfriend would like hug me and I'd like to feel like my skin crawl. I just feel trapped and like She just loves me and doesn't hug me, but I feel like just like I wanted to escape.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you grow up enmeshed with a parent, well, what happens as soon as you're in a relationship again? You feel trapped. And that trappedness reminds you of... Parents in your childhood. And so, what do you want to do when you're trapped?”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Called post induction therapy pit. And she thinks of your childhood as a hypnosis. And she's trying to wake you up from that hypnosis. And it's such a great way to think about it that we're really indoctrinated into this cult as children, right? And that cult is our family, our family values, the family system, the way it is. Mom, dad, like we have nothing else and that shapes the whying of our brain. And then as adults, so much of our journey is to like. Just wake”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, or instead of making choices about what are best for you, they're making choice about what's best for them. So simple version is you're taking care of them. In fact, you can see people who are adults and they call their mom or dad every single day and are always there for the problems that their parents are having and feel guilty if they're not. But then it can be more subtle, like maybe a parent's really anxious and you need to be home and close by and do all these things, but it's not for you to be a better child, it's for them to be less anxious and less worried. So Senator Meshman is occurring as if you grew up feeling sorry for a parent. We're born with kind of all our brain cells, but the neural connections aren't made, right? In our early, early childhood experiences, all that wiring is being put together. So they're like our programmers, right? Like they literally just programmed us. So these little things program us. And this woman, PM melody, she's brilliant. She has this great therapy.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Never the same again Like three types of parenting, right? There's functional parenting, which is just a parent that takes care of a child's knees. There's abandonment when a parent's not there for the child's emotional or physical or physical needs or the parent's gone. It can be abandoned even if a parent dies when you're very young. You don't know that sometimes you might think that's about you. Then there's enmeshment, which is like most people don't know and don't recognize, which is when a parent is to take care of your parents' needs.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Everything when it passed made sense. Then she said, and this was like a little intense. She's like, there's a word for that. We call that emotional incest. Like, what the fuck is that? But almost like I'm feeling it now. Like I felt this whole this cold wind blow through like my entire soul and like my body recognized the truth that she was right. Like why did my mom never prove a single person I dated? Why was I grounded for most of my high school life? Why when I wanted to live with my first girlfriend, my mom cut me off and say I wasn't allowed to do that even though it was like, you know, 19 or 20 or something like that. Like it's insane. You know, why would I sit while watching TV and like massage or it's fucking creepy? But massage your hands and shit like that. Like literally, and why would she come in my room and tell me about how horrible my dad was? And I was the only one who understood her like, yes, it's crazy. And so once I recognize the truth of that, all of a sudden, like, it just...”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I went there very cynically into sex dictionary rehab and we do something, we did something called like a timeline where you write down your most and you can do this at home. It's a useful thing to do, to write down your most impactful experiences, positive or negative in your first 17 or 18 years. You kind of write them out, and it's going from a positive and negative experiences. Therapist goes, Well, you know the reason you've never been in a healthy relationship. I'm like, no, why? Because everything either I cheated or someone cheated on me or they just didn't work out. And I go, no, why? She goes, well, it's because your mother wants to be in a relationship with you. Exactly. Look you just had was exactly what I had. I'm like, what are you talking about? But my body”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Everything. He says someone who can just the way he looks at music, he can look at your life and see what your logical fallacies are. So he said, like, Maybe you're a sex addict. I'm like, well, what do you mean? It's not like I need to have sex all the time. I'm not addicted to it. I'm not like out there doing crazy things. He's like, well, I mean, A, look at all the stuff you do in the game. Did that make you happy? You know, you got everything you wanted? Did that make you happy? And now you hurt someone you cared about for sexual experience. Maybe you are a sex addict. Literally argued back and forth about that for months till he was ready to give up on me. And then I said, I don't know, but I'll tell you what, I'll go to sex addiction rehab because it's not going to hurt. I'll learn something.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then you face the reality. That's when the compartment breaks down in your mind and you face the consequences of what you've done. Her being smart was like, I'm done with you. You cheated on me, you betrayed me. Goodbye, which is good for her. And I felt like just wrecked. I felt just, you know, I. That I hurt someone I loved and cared about. I destroyed my chances for the future that I wanted to have offer like. Sexual experience that wasn't that great anyway. So, and this is in the book, so his names are, so Rick Rubin, the producer, the music producer, who's kind of been a mentor to me, he almost produces my life like the way he literally produced my life, like the way he produced a record where I'm living”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We're really similar. We were talking a little bit before the show in terms of like being a late bloomer, in terms of relationships and commitment and freedom being important and all those kind of criteria. I just thought you kind of think everything's normal and everyone else is strange and neurormal until you like hit a bottom and something goes wrong. And for me, what happened was... I mean, it's super vulnerable to share, even though it's in the truth, but it's weird to say it in person. I was dating someone who I thought, oh, this is more serious relationship. Maybe this could go a long way, and then I cheated on them. And sadly, people usually don't learn a lesson when they cheat. They learn the lesson when they get caught. So I got caught.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Have this fantasy about what they want, but you're going to track someone who's at your level of growth and self-esteem. Everyone who has that list of this is what I'm looking for make that list for yourself and become that person and then you'll meet that person. It's like just 100% true.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My research, most evolutionary argument that made the most sense was that rewired cheat after about seven years. That said, I realized that all relationship issues are historical. For example, I heard someone I loved offer a sexual experience at Western Peck Grade, went to a sex addiction rehab, and then the therapist said the reason you've never been in a healthy relationship. It's because your mother wants to be in a relationship with you. My mom never proved a single person I dated. When I wanted to live with my girlfriend, my mom cut me off. She'd come in my room and tell me about how horrible my dad was I was the only one who understood her. So you grew up trapped. We call that emotional incest. And then what happens as soon as you're in a relationship, you want to escape having that outlet of cheating or drugs means that we're not just trapped with this one person.”
2023-11-13 · The Diary of a CEO · Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist: “We’re Wired to Cheat After 7 Years”, “I Was In A Relationship With My Mum”, The True Danger Of Porn: Neil Strauss · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT