YouSaid · the spoken record

Patrick Kennedy

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2016-05-02

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2016-05-02

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1. “I do. But I'm able to not feel like they're uncontrollable. Like I have this cognitive behavioral therapy is the most validated psychotherapy there is. And I only have been getting it for the last couple of years. So I'm able to kind of think through my feeling. I'm able to do my checklist houselife. Oh, it's good. I may not feel that way, but I can intellectualize how good my life is, even if I don't feel that way. And it's a good barometer. But that's a tool. Like, that's an exercise, like working out in the gym that I never would have had if someone not presented it to me, right? I have, you know, these kind of talk to a sponsor, talk to a friend or family member. So these are tools that may seem obvious to the average person. But I never seemed to get the guidebook when they were handing them out to how to live life.”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

2. “Yeah, take me out of myself. Totally take me out. And that's the biggest challenge if you're an addict. You're totally self-absorbed, self-centered. You know, there's nothing like having kids around. I just totally extinguish.”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

3. “So, my life now is, you know, I get up every morning, I go to a 12 step meeting. I have a sponsor and 12-step recovery. I talk to frequently. I have family who are in 12-step recovery who provide a little bit more of the kind of intimate feedback I need for what I benefit from in terms of their input to the road that I'm traveling and the road they traveled and how it's very instructive to me. I have an incredible wife who I can really share everything with and is very emotionally high IQ in terms of EQ, emotional sensitivity and grounding. I have beautiful children that just totally take”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

4. “The accident 2006 as arrested by Capitol Police. So, I mean, I had plenty of signs that I needed help. But then, of course, because you don't talk about these things, oh, he's looking better now, forgetting the fact this is a chronic illness. Oh, he already went to rehab. Yeah, like half a dozen times before, but that doesn't do it if you have a chronic illness. In other words, I was able to write my own personal narrative, but also highlight what's wrong with our healthcare system, which is that we look at this as a series of acute episodic situations as opposed to something that needs to be treated on a chronic disease basis.”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

5. “Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I was saved by Many of my colleagues, some of whom were like absolute saviors in getting me off the house floor when I was about to really do something to embarrass myself. And I was fortunate I had the A staff, just brilliant who managed to keep everything, all the machine going while I was at half steam. So the combination of it meant that I could plug along. Pay the full consequences. Although, you know, when I write my book, I go through all the incidences that were big red flags. I was arrested in the... Airport in LAX. I was arrested by the coast. And of course, I was arrested. Yeah, and”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

6. “Like anyone prior to that kind of shop the different pharmacies and the different doctors that I got to write for me with impunity, basically. I had some physicians that were, yes, very... Irresponsible in how much they wrote for me. They kind of didn't want to question And that's the benefit of”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

7. “Not a problem at all. I had doctors both at home in my district and in Washington, DC, and I had doctors I ran into all the time in the course of my travels. I'd always be able to say I don't have anyone to write for me. I'm on the road, which I was on the road all the time. People would write for me. They wouldn't question. I'm a congressman. Of course. What do you need me to do? Oh, could you call something in here? Sure. And then, of course, I had this back surgery. You know, it's like 14 inch scar under the middle of my back. They didn't question it. And I guess, and this was before the prescription drug monitoring program. I was snuck in under the line there in terms of by the time that kicked in, I was already on my way out the door in terms of into recovery. But I was able to...”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

8. “Yeah, I mean, you know, I would use stimulants to get me going, and then I'd use banzodiazepines to try to even me off. I'd use depressants like alcohol, you know, and opiates to help calm me down at the end of the day. I mean, it was really just a way of managing my mood. I have to”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

9. “Well, it ended up being my drug of choice, oxycotton, was what I used for years. Um... But I'm an addict, so it doesn't matter what it is I used benzodiazepines and alcohol and stimulants, adderol, cocaine, you name it. I mean, the only thing that kept me.”

   2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

10. “Yeah, it's so much in his DNA. I was really kind of introverted, and as we talked about earlier, it was a big leap for me to get into this business. For Jesse, he's kind of got a different temperament and disposition that lends itself more to this. Of advocacy Interesting.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

11. “Experience that both of us shared in common from that coming from families like we came from. I think that gave us a connection. Certainly what we had both been through gave us a connection and that we served together in Congress, gave us a connection. I know he'll be a friend for life as much as we, no matter what the frequency of our talking, we'll sometimes talk more than others. Yeah, and I'm very grateful for that. And I really believe he'll have a long ways to go in terms of making great contributions the way he wants to. Our country and to live.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

12. “Well, I write in my book a little vignette about how when I was with them at Mayo and he was asking me to kind of speak on his behalf to describe his suffering from depression to kind of explain it for him because he hadn't found the words yet in his own nomenclature to do it. He said, do you mind speaking to my dad? I said, sure. And he pushed speed dial, and then there's the Reverend. And I said, you know, Jesse and I have been talking about what it's like. And I don't know who's got a bigger bird to carry, you know, him and her eye, you know, and of course the Reverend got a big chuckle out of it. And he said the cross is a lot easier to bear when you're not bearing it alone. I had everything I could do to stop from saying amen. But, you know, yeah, there was a certain”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

13. “I have, I hate to say not as much as I should, but I do periodically, we text each other, we'll call each other. And yeah, he's suffered a lot. We serve what right next to one another, and he was such a champion for issues of injustice to the minority community and fighting for all of those things. And I was always questioning on the mental health. And here we are. We were both suffering. I think also proves the point. These aren't issues that are those people. I mean, amongst us people can be very high functioning and still be suffering a great deal.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

14. “And that means PR, but it also means just showing some results. So people say, oh, well, it's worth you going to get that treatment. Because unlike Harry, who kept cycling in and out of or Patrick, that rehab never got better, we know you can get better, not just by going to rehab, but by having intensive outpatient and having chronic care management through even your primary care doc using telopsychiatry, using your iPhone to meet. Peer support specialists. I mean, we have to show people the world we're trying to build for them. So they say, oh my God, I want that.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

15. “When 90% of suicides have an underlying mental health condition, where most of those mental health conditions are undiagnosed and untreated, well, guess what? If you just began to diagnose and treat, you could buy deduction, reduce the total number of people who successfully complete suicide. I mean, and when you look at how we could employ technology to help with this challenge, I mean, it's remarkable what technology can bring us. In other words, I have a lot of confidence that we could really change this macro, tragic epidemic of overdoses and suicides, but we need the political will to do it. And part of what will create that political will is for people to see that it is possible.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

16. “I mean, it's shocking in this day and age that we're just beginning to say we ought to require outcome-based metrics for the delivery of mental health services in much the way we expect medicine to produce certain definable and measurable outcomes. It's one of the reasons why no one believes that mental health can make a difference because they've never known that it can make a difference. If we can show people getting better through a complement of both spiritual and medical and mental health treatments, people can have more confidence this ought to be treated effectively because they know it can effectively result in better health. Today, most of our anecdotal knowledge is that, well, this doesn't really make a difference. And, you know, so-and-so and so-and-so isn't going to get better. If we can show population-based statistics that, no, we can really reduce the total number of suicides.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

17. “It's no question it's critical. You know, as a former politician, policymaker, I'm really conscious of bandwidth and where I can focus my energy that can get us the biggest results. I want to boil the ocean. I want to go after stigma. I want to go after provider accountability. We don't hold providers to any outcome space metrics whatsoever. And all the biggest trade groups who are in the practice of mental health have never put anything forward.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

18. “But we're seeing greater incidents overall of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions of all kinds. This is a public health challenge. We really need to be on this. And look at the attention that Zika virus gets. I think it's appropriate. But 41,000 Americans last year successfully took their lives. Twice as many people than were killed as a result of murder. Overdose rates surpass car accidents. I mean, we're in a crisis. And when you see the overall life expectancy of demographic groups in our country, like you mentioned, actually go down at a time when medical innovation and discovery is leading to longer life expectancies for everybody as a population, it's startling to think that we're actually seeing a flat line or a dip in life expectancy simply because of suicide and overdose. That should be a wake-up call to us.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

19. “It's neurobiological. We can see dopamine. I mean, it's There is correlations in the way the brain reacts to the way we use technology.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

20. “Yes, yeah. No, I'm terrified about cyberbullying. I'm terrified about the kind of antisocial world that we're growing up with all the iPads, iPhones. Technology, I don't think we have a full reach on how much this is going to impact.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

21. “And this is it, David. We could save ourselves years of litigation if we just get disclosure from insurance companies and how they do utilization management. That is the biggest ballgame for us.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

22. “Lower lifetime caps, and thanks to the president's Affordable Care Act, the pre existing condition. We got rid of all that. But now insurance companies are practicing discrimination and fail-first models or preauthorization for this and that. All of these are stall tactics to deny care. That's what we need to get a better handle on. And the way the parity law is written, there must be analogous treatment for brain health as there would be for any other physical or surgical health, which means it presumes you need to make a comparison in order for it to be parried. So we need to have disclosure by insurance companies as to how they do utilization management. They've never opened up their books”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

23. “Well, of course, in New York, it has. Again, we're waiting for the president's task force on parity, which is set to issue their report in October. That will help us address the more insidious medical management discrimination that occurs today. We got rid of, thanks to the parity law, higher premiums, higher co-operatives.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

24. “Well, don't blame me for mentioning a Rhode Islander just because I'm from Rhode Island, but Sheldon Whitehouse is the principal sponsor, the Comprehensive Addiction Recovery Act, which really sets the model for addiction and recovery. So the best treatment for a chronic illness is obviously chronic care management. Recovery is the shorthand for it if you have an addiction. And yet we don't do anything to support recovery. What Sheldon's done is really put that bill together. On the AG's part, Schneiderman from New York has been an all-star. He's taken these insurance companies in New York. There isn't practically an insurance company that we know of by name that he hasn't sued and gotten a judgment from. Under the parody law. And what's to think that the only people being discriminated by insurance Companies are only in New York.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

25. “Have gotten to this, and they're beginning to say, listen, this makes financial sense. And as you and I know, if you can get insurance to see their own financial interest in doing what we always wanted them to do from the humanistic point of view, then so be it. I'll take whatever I can get in terms of the reasons they're doing this.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

26. “You know, insurance companies have ratcheted down so much on all the physical health spends and managed care. Behavioral health is the secret sauce to the savings for the Affordable Care Act because it's the new tool in their toolkit they've never used before. And it's where the biggest savings. We know underlying depression, anxiety ratchets up the cost in physical health over four times. That's a lot of money. You take the high utilizers and healthcare guaranteed they have underlying depression, anxiety. It comes with having one of these tragic physical conditions. If they're chronic illnesses, even greater likelihood they have depression, anxiety. And if you don't treat those depressions and anxieties, then the other costs are really skyrocket. So the numbers crunchers.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

27. “With in terms of the advocacy world And they barely can keep the lights on at some of these organizations. So there really isn't the pressure for us to move forward the way we need to. Hopefully with the affordable care act, we're going to be able to change the financial dynamics of this such that it'll become a financial imperative for insurance companies to treat underlying pressure.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

28. “The law says inpatient, in network, outpatient, in network, inpatient, out of network, outpatient out of network, pharmacy ER, if you provide it for cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, then you've got to provide it for any like brain illness. And you have to provide it the same level of severity of care that you would for any other level of severity for care and any other physical or surgical issue. It's very, very specific. But historically, insurance companies have got away with murder basically by denying care because they know that people are too ill to appeal or they're too bedraggled with their family to ever worry about trying to make an appeal or try to figure out how to make an appeal. So we really need to shake up the system. And unfortunately politically, as you know, there's not a whole lot of bans.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

29. “Back, and at most cases, that'd be too late, so it doesn't really add a financial imperative for insurance companies to follow the law. We're also informing insurance commissioners”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

30. “So, I really think the approach I'm taking is make insurance companies do what, frankly, is in their financial best interest anyway to do, and that's integrate mental health into the rest of physical health. But if you don't do it, then we're going to come after you. We've got a legal working group together. putting together the equivalent of the NAACP for mental health and addiction. There really is no case law in this space because it's brand new, but we're trying to develop some expertise. We want to put together toolkits for the Attorneys Generals and all 50 states to know when to take one of their insurers that practices within their state to court. We know we can get judgments that are really big in terms of the punitive damages that would move insurance company practices in a way that if an individual were to appeal a denial, they wouldn't because basically all they would get is their care pay.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

31. “Or geriatrician, then it's going to start to feel not so scary to get screened for a mental illness, to get early intervention, to not wait till it's a crisis. And that's going to change attitudes. If we attack this as a PR issue, I think we could be waiting for another couple of decades.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

32. “My feeling, David, and I've likened our efforts to the civil rights struggles because passing the Civil Rights Act, Voting Rights Act, Fair Housing, Fair Employment, they've done a lot to end the pattern and practice of discrimination. That doesn't mean they've changed all attitudes. Racism is still alive and well, so is bigotry. But you can act on those things. And so I approach Sigma from this vantage point. I don't care what someone thinks of someone with mental illness or addiction anymore. I just care are they following the law because the way we ultimately get change is made is by enforcing the law and enforcing a new normal. And if that new normal says that mental health has to be ubiquitous, that you get a checkup from the neck up in every physician's office, whether it's the OBGYN or pediatrician.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

33. “He made some dramatic changes, his second marriage to Vicki was very, very helpful in him. Changing his life course. And who knows how each aspect of your life affects the other. Maybe we had a positive impact or not. I think we definitely touched him with it. He wasn't happy with the message. But no one is. I mean, if you are in the middle of it and you're getting approached by others, you want to say back off. That's the natural reaction for anybody. So I understand that. I wrote about all that. I wrote down how his response to us, and it was a great deal of legitimacy, you know, in terms of his criticism of us and the way we approached it. Of course, we were fumbling. We had no ideas how to do this right. Watered down AE version of intervention.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

34. “The worldview and making it what we're using as a template for judging this. I'm using, this is a medical issue, yet he was killing himself and he was everything we had. We had to do something about it. I'm proud that we did our, and just as I'm proud that he”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

35. “Yeah, but exactly. But it's that family ethos of you have to be quiet about this. And it's that family ethos that Kept us all ill. I mean, this is affecting my brother, sister, and I. And it may, David, affect our children if I'm not on it. And this is generational. And so there is a gnawing and pathology to the silence. Of not acknowledging what is so devastatingly hurtful. And so, yes, I ruffled some feathers by talking about how we tried to do an intervention on our father. I mean, this is Ted Kennedy. You don't say that. That's the stuff for the haters to talk about. But that's assuming that these issues are somehow moral interventions as opposed to medical interventions. That's giving them...”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

36. “Oh, he felt that. And I write about in the book how furious he was at me on the parody, fighting for the parody stuff because I would talk and disclose about my own struggles. And he would tell me, we don't talk about those things. I mean, he was a perfect prototype for his generational view on this. And that's why I write about it, because he does represent part of the common struggle, and that is the generational struggle as to how we view these illnesses, whether they're moral failings, are they medical issues. But as an aside, what I wrote down is not I think exposing him in any way that I mean, it is exposing that. What”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

37. “Is the stuff that we feel that's private is part of the problem with us being able to reach that day where mental health is ubiquitous in healthcare and we don't make personal judgments on people for suffering from a quote mental illness.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

38. “Yeah, no, I say that pre-911, we didn't know what post-traumatic stress was. Everybody's got a strong sense of it now post the Raqqa Afghan war. I would say that given what he experienced in his life, no one would say anything other than he had a huge dose of toxic stress in his life at having witnessed the murders of his two brothers and countless other tragedies. coping mechanism for that in the form of a mental health system that wouldn't have been seemed as pejorative because it would have just been healthcare, wouldn't have been mental healthcare. It's like, oh my God, you suffered a debilitating tragedy then compounded by another tragedy compounded by you need X, Y, and Z intervention, right? That's going to be the normal course, David, in another 10, 15, who knows how long we're going to get around to it.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

39. “I feel so grateful though having had a chance to serve with him. I mean, we overlapped for a better part of the 16 years I was in office, and I had lunch with him regularly, and I interacted with him in a way I never would had I been living in some other place and been involved in some other line of work just because of the preoccupation when you're in public office with everything having to do with public life. Since our public lives often intersected by the nature of what we were doing, it gave us a little bit of a connection that we never would have otherwise had. In other words, what I'm saying to you is I have a lot of closure. I don't have any gnawing, oh, I wish this had happened, or I had closure here or that there with my father. I'm really very comfortable. I tell my children about my dad. It's all good. But you”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

40. “Right, and it was, I mean, he was clearly a huge, defining part of who I was, who I saw myself as, how I valued myself was all juxtaposed to who he was and how he felt about me. So it wasn't about who I was and how I felt about myself and how I related to the world, but how I related to the world through him. Yes, his passing was a transformation in my life, and the correlation between his passing and my deciding to leave Congress, those were turning points in my life and in a way that ended up being very positive for me.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

41. “It would have been kind of tragic because I never would have really realized my potential. I wouldn't have found my calling. I wouldn't have connected these dots. But it's all possible now, and it's possible because I have some stability, I have some sobriety and family. Has got a lot to do with it for sure.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

42. “Diagnoses that I was also suffering from at the same time I'm trying to cover the whole DSM for the purposes of insurance coverage. So I mean, you can't make this up, David. I mean, if I ever had to feel, was it worth it? It's becoming worth it now. You see what I'm saying? Like at the time, I couldn't have made sense because, as I said, I was just plowing along today it makes sense because it's having some value that I could never have anticipated. And certainly when I decided to retire and do something else with my life and actually develop some stability in my life and some sobriety, it now all fits. But it didn't make sense before. And I suppose if I had never gotten recovery.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

43. “But I realize everything is for a purpose, and having the chance now to be an advocate for mental health in a way that I wish I had been able to do when I was in Congress, but that I was kind of leveraging all my experience in torturous journey through Congress and fighting for the passage of the mental health parity and addiction equity act, that I'm actually able to carry that fight today that I wasn't able to do while I was in Congress as effectively as I wanted to. And that the story that I have now is born from experience. And I wouldn't have the credibility and the ability to connect with audiences. And the story wouldn't have been as rich in terms of getting people to pay attention to this wonky kind of legislative battle for brain equality, right? Had I not been able to describe the myriad of kind of deascal”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

44. “Well, I look back on it and I think how in the world did I do it? And I did it because I self-medicated tremendously in order to survive it and a lot. And that exacerbated this kind of ups and downs. But the thing that I hated the most was that anxiety. So I didn't mind the kind of euphoria with the crashes and the depression is so long as I didn't live in that anxiety space because that just was too unnerving. I look back and I feel like, oh, I wish I could have changed this and that. I felt so awkward and ill-equipped to deal with the opportunities that I had. I mean, I think to myself, what extraordinary opportunities I had to really make something of a lot of the work that I was doing, but was unable to make full advantage of because I was so kind of wrapped up in myself.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

45. “I don't think it was a function of being a Kennedy. I call my book a common struggle because I think there's lots of father-son issues that are similar and it doesn't have to do exactly with going into politics or running for a national office. But it has to do with trying to feel a part of and connected to. It also has to do with growing up in an alcoholic household where you try to make everything all right by being all right and, you know. Trying to manifest on the outside what you can't make sense of on the inside.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

46. “I mean, The line of work that was the most antagonistic to every bit of my fiber, which was to be introverted and to, you know, I think Want to avoid anxiety and stress, and yet I jumped into a space which was full of anxiety and stress. But as you said, I was also trying to manifest this sense of expectation that I needed to become somebody, you know, that I myself was not enough on my own, that I needed to kind of have the dressings of a great title and status in order to feel okay. I mean, it was just kind of this internal imprint that I had on that I carried with me.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

47. “Addiction and alcoholism and mood disorder, you know, I needed to kind of trace this without feeling as if I was whining because the other part of the Kennedy gestalt is that you don't complain. And so this notion that you would have biologically based predisposition to real illnesses, because addiction alcoholism is a real illness, but in my other part of my family, it was seen as a moral failing. It was like you couldn't hack it, you couldn't stick it out.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

48. “And so on, but it was omnipresent until I wrote my book, I didn't really think about the bulletproof vest in our family closet. I didn't think about the folks that were constantly rushing over had guns just because of the worry that my father's life was always in jeopardy. I didn't really stop to consider how many times my mother, who had suffered really debilitating alcoholism and depression, how many times she just kind of would come through the house while we were entertaining guests who were the luminaries of the day and knowing would say anything. You know, those are memories that were normal for me. And when I began to piece through my background and how it was that I ended up having that same kind of debilitating addiction.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

49. “So, you know, here in Chicago, you've got murders and these kids growing up with toxic stress because they are surrounded by violence and tension and mental illness and addiction. And, you know, it's kind of a chaotic environment that leads to them having a chaotic life And you would think, on the one hand, because I came from a very privileged family, that that may have somehow I guess insulated me from experiencing that. Backdrop of the stress that accompanied the assassinations of my uncles and”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

50. “So the advantage of having this chance to write a book was that it gave me an opportunity to get some perspective and also to have some closure because I was driven by lots of things. The whole growing up in my family obviously is all I knew, so it was normal. But if you get a little separation from it. You're able to begin to identify well, what is Norman, what isn't normal. And it was all normal to me, even the abnormal was normal. So, I guess what I mean to say is I grew up and totally kind of dismissed the enormous impact that all this tragedy that my father had experienced, both my parents had experienced, my whole family had experienced was just kind of a constant backdrop to everything that was going on in our lives, but one that wasn't spoken about.”

    2016-05-02 · The Axe Files with David Axelrod · Ep. 46 - Patrick Kennedy · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source