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Rangan Chatterjee

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2022-03-28
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2022-03-28
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  1. “So, I would ask you, Stephen, think of three things. That really bring you a sense of happiness, deep, calm and contentment and make you really feel good.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “And then in a week's time, ask yourself how often in that week did you live in accordance with that? How often in that week did you live in a way that was not in harmony with that? Okay, it's not about beating yourself up. It's not about holding yourself to this unattainable ideal. It's just ask yourself the question. Just gently start compassionately probing what's going on. Right, so I think that's a useful exercise and build up to three values if you can. And these things need reassessing. The other exercise I like, which I think is really practical, it's got two parts. It's called define your happiness habits and write your happy ending, right? And if you want, we could try it actually.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “Even if they're starting to challenge themselves already and go. I'm pretty interested what these two guys are saying. You know, I don't kind of know what my values are, but I've got a feeling that I'm not living life in accordance with them. Like, I think I'm chasing the wrong stuff, but I don't quite know what to do about that. Even that awareness is progress. So I think it's really important. We can't always just find it out, get to the solution, go and live happy lives. It doesn't work like that. So step one is awareness. Now, if you have that awareness and you want to go further, something you might want to do is what I call the identity menu in the book. You might literally want to. Try and write down three values or even one value. Start with one. Start with one.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “Oh, we've not dealt with the underlying neat. It's like New Year's resolutions, right? No one has a problem going spinning four times a week for the first two weeks in January. But third week, fourth week when life gets busy and life gets stressful, or they can give up booze for a couple of weeks. They just can't keep it going. It's like, you know, I need it to unwind from my workday. That's because your alcohol consumption is a symptom of the way you're living your life. If you want to change that, you can try and white knuckle it and reduce it. Sure, you might be successful for a short period of time, but you'll always go back unless you understand the behavior. Same thing kind of works for food cravings a lot of the time. So if someone's listening to this and they go, okay, I want to know what to do.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “It's a great question. I don't think it's going to be You listen to this. Conversation, you watch it on YouTube, you get the book, whatever. I don't think it's that you do that. And then you're like, oh, I've got it. I figured it out now. I know my values. Okay, great. Now this is a journey. The best journey you'll ever take, but it's a journey. It's not a one hit. The first step in any change. Aw All behaviours serve a needs. Every behavior we have is therefore a reason. You can't just, I can't just tell the patient you should drink less alcohol without helping them understand why do they need to be drinking that alcohol in the first place. It took me ages to figure this out some dots. I think, why am I struggling? Why do they stop for two weeks? And then they get back on the horse. It's like,”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “About taking the time to understand who you are, defining for yourself what happiness is or what success looks like, not using society's definition. You posted a few days ago, don't use society's definition of fun. That was a great post. Just because society says to have fun, you need to go to a bar, have loud music on and get drunk, well, if you like to sit at home in the bath reading a good book, That's great. If you don't, that's fine as well. But it's got to be you. It's your value. So I can't tell someone what they need to necessarily do in all aspects of their life to be happy. Be intentional about your life.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “We were having a really long, deep conversation. for they were present with their grief, and they were able to share with me exactly how they were feeling. No masks on at all in terms of these kind of metaphorical masks that we put on they were just being themselves. That's core happiness. Because they're a lion, right? Their inner thoughts are I feel sad, upset, frustrated for my loss, and their external actions are completely aligned with that. So, I kind of feel really what happiness is about is living an intentional life.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Contentment, yeah. Contentment is about feeling calm and that sense of peace when you're at peace with your life and your peace with your decision. So what things in your life give you that sense of contentment. And I really feel it's these three things when you put them all together, the side effect of doing them. You're But also happiness is not Often, what we think it is that big billboard image of the happy family on the beach with a smile on their face in the ocean behind them, right? That to me is not happiness. That's a pleasurable experience. Can form parts of a happy life, but that's not happiness. You can be sad and happy. The way I look at happiness, core happiness. Thinking about this last week, I was chatting to someone who He was going through grief. You know, someone very close to them had died.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “Got a degree of control. There is order in the world. Let's focus on these simple things you can do each day. If you say hi to the Amazon delivery driver and smile at them, say thank you to the barista and say a few nice words to them. Say hi to the bus driver and smile at them. Thank the postman. You are working on your happiness. It seems trivial, but it's not. The research is so, so clear, right? Because it gives you a sense of control, second pillar of the three.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “Almost trivial interactions that we have day to day. So when you say hi to the barista or I said hi to your work colleagues when I got here, those little things, they are not trivial. There's a network in your brain called the sociometer, right? It's constantly detecting your external world for threats. And when it receives positive information like a smile, like a bit of a nod, a handshake. Know it sort of relaxes. Your stress levels go down, you feel a sense of connection with the world around you. Coming back to control. You feel that the external world is safe.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “I've almost got this resilient bubble around me. Doesn't matter what's going on in the world. Doesn't matter how bad work may or may not get that day. I've got an element of control because I've sort of nurtured that routine for myself. So that's one way that people can think about control. Another way people might want to think about control is, and there's a chapter in the book called Talk to Strangers. Which is basically this idea that actually relationships are very important, of course, but there's kind of two different kinds of relationships. The deep nurturing, intimate relationships, but there's also the Also, there's kind of”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “I thought long and hard about this word control I am the Nods, was it the right word to use? And I spoke to some of my patients, I spoke to some of my friends. I don't really think it is when we understand it's about what are the things that I can do in my life that gives me a sense of control. We know from the scientific research when you have a sense of control, right, you have better relationships, you have longer relationships, you're healthier, you have lower stress levels, you live longer. So it's that sense of control. And that could mean many things to different people. For me, I'm really big on morning routines, right? I know for me, if I get up early, if I have time to myself to have a little routine.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “living in a lined life, they're living with meaning. It doesn't mean that the job that they're in currently is the job that they love and they're going to be in forever, but they're living in harmony with who they are. And that's going to mean that meaning and purpose come naturally as a byproducts. I want people to really focus on alignment. It's one pillar of happiness and I think your meaning and purpose will come”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “But not for everyone. Someone might be hearing that in a call center right now that don't like their job, they're doing it. And they're like, what, icky guy, are you kidding me, mate? I just want to get through and pay the bills, right? So I think I bring it all back. Is this core happiness tool that I've created? Is it applicable in all situations? I think it is. Because if you look at it through the lens of what we're talking about, this comes under alignment. So that chat working in the course answer, they do the exercise and they figure out kindness is something that's really important to them. Then if on the way to work, they stop in the coffee shop and they're kind to the barista. They get on the bus to work and they're kind to the bus driver. They go to the job they don't particularly like, but they are kind to their colleagues and their boss.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “I'm an 18 year old Japanese student living in London. I've grown up with the concept of Ikigai my entire life and frankly I found it demoralizing, demotivating too high a bar for me to get to. And that stuck with me, mate, because I thought since then, okay, that's so interesting because I love this concept of Ikigai. She grows up with it and finds it off-putting. I think the problem with these grand ideas of meaning, purpose, Ikigai, as much as I like them.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “I love the kicky guy, this idea that we should be looking, not should be, but we could be looking for something in our life that we enjoy, that we're good at, that's what the world needs, and that what pays us money, right? The kind of holy grail, as it were. And I remember writing about this in my second book on stress. I remember the book came out and I was in London. I was giving a talk. And at the end of the talk, we were doing Q&A. Remember the back right off the hall, this young lady had a hand up, and she said Dotschi.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “I have a different perspective Meaning and purpose is really important no question. But I don't think that's happiness, it's meaning It's a necessary ingredient. For happiness, but it's not happiness in and of itself. And I don't mean to be controversial, but let's say a soldier fighting in World War II against the Nazis. One might make the case that That has meaning mean”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “So good. And I agree with what you and Mom was saying. Happiness is a choice. When you understand what happiness really is. Not a thing that you can get to. It's not something that you can pursue directly. It's something that ensues when you do. Right things, and the right things for me. When you focus on the three, I call core happiness this three-legged stool, alignment, contentment, control. You can apply it to anything in life. I think that's what happiness is. And I think we are pursuing it. Like people say we shouldn't be, we shouldn't be going after happiness. We should be going after meaning.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “And they think, you know, that says something about me, who I am. What happens if you lose your job? What happens if you prang it? What happens if you have a divorce and you can't afford it anymore? You go from what I call core happiness to junk happiness. Junk happiness is what many of us think happiness is, right? We think it's that momentary hit of pleasure. You know, buying something online, Instagram, chocolate bar, hit of booze. These things can be pleasurable things. They may have their role from time to time, but don't mistake that for being real core happiness. Core happiness is, I think, what we are chasing, but I think we misdefine it. We think it's something it's not. Happiness is not a destination that we one day get to, right? It's a direction that you can choose to take in life. It's a choice, right? I heard your conversation with Mo in the hotel room last night, which was fantastic.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “Being a good father is not who I am. If I cling too tightly to that, what happens when my kids are teenagers and they get annoyed and they call me a crap dad? I've seen this happen. I've had patients come in, say, or they call me a crap mumber, you know, that's all I do. I do everything for them. I've given everything up for them. It's like, wait a minute. You are much more than your roles Let's talk about cars, right? You said when you were 20, you wrote down what you wanted, right? Nothing wrong with having a nice car. Problem comes for your happiness, at least, when you identify with that car, where that car says something about you. And the problem is you drive around, I don't mean you, one drives around in their flesh BMW, let's say.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “We put ourselves in a very fragile position. Let's say I go around the doctor. You know, I'm Dr. Chassaji. And I sort of absorb that and I think that's who I am. Then what happens? If I get fired What happens if I get sick and I can't work as a doctor? So, what happens when I retire? This is real. This happens to people. They lose their sense of who they are. What about my role as a father? Right? To be really clear, me bringing up my kids well is one of the most important things to me, more important than my work, 100%.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “Go through, and I picked a number three because I think it's quite a realistic number for people out of the list of all these possible identities and values, which three do you think feel kind of the most true to you? And I've been doing this for a little while and the three that have been pretty static with me for the past few months now, I'd say, and they're right at the top of my Instagram profile because I think this is what I want to give to the world and say, let's lead with our values. Integrity, curiosity and compassion. So, this is who I am. I'm not Doctor, I'm not a father. I think this is such an important point that I've been thinking a lot about over the last few years. I have a role as a doctor. I have a role as a father, but it's not who I am. Because when we cling too tightly to our identities,”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “For this new book, I've created this new model of happiness that I call core happiness. So core happiness has three components. Alignment, contentment, and control. We can talk about those if you want. But one of those legs is alignment. Alignment is when your inner values and your external actions are the same, when the person who you want to be inside and the person you are actually being in the world are one and the same. That's one component. It's not everything, but it's one component. So if someone has heard what we're talking about and say, okay, I want to start. I'm not living the life that I want to lead, but I don't know where to start. There's this exercise in the book called The Identity Menu. The goal is really that you...”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “Yeah, I mean, I've got so much to say on that. You're never too late to start on this journey. But how does someone start on that journey, right? I think it comes down to values, right? Values is what I think what sews it all up together.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “The drinking isn't the problem. The drinking is a symptom. You don't enjoy your job. You've gone into the wrong career because you thought it was what you should do. Sometimes you're stuck now in your 30s, you've got a mortgage. You've got a lease on your car. You feel trapped. But you can free yourself from that trap. You absolutely can, but you have to be honest. You have to get to know who you currently are now before you've got any hope of becoming the person that you ideally want to be.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “It is a stereotype, but it's largely true for many families. As an Indian immigrant's child in the UK, the three careers that generally are available to you are Dots a lawyer engineer. That's what is valued. Of course, just to be clear, that's not every single family. But just by and large, I think that's true. But I tell you this, Stephen, I know loads of them who are so unhappy as doctors, so unhappy. They compensate for the tedium of their work, right? by getting smashed on a Friday and Saturday nights. And they wonder why they can't give up boozing or why they enjoy it so much. Well, because that's a symptom.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “Know what I'm talking about. You don't have time, you don't have fiscal time, you don't have mental space, it just encompasses the entirety of your life. You're just trying to keep your head above water. You're just trying to get through day to day. You are firefighting. So I wouldn't have had the physical time, but also I think a lot of what I'm able to give to people these days through books, through podcasts, through one-on-one with patients. the learnings you know that the learnings that I've acquired from going through dad's death from going through that pain from coming out the other side from going what can I learn from this so I'm not sure If what I would have had to offer people back then would have been as valuable as what I feel I have to offer them now.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “I don't regret any of it. Now that Dad's not here, I'm glad I spent so much time with him. But I think there was a real cost to me, my inner peace, my inner well being. And Dad's death. Here's the irony, Stephen. The things that my dad would have been proudest of, right? Indian immigrant to the UK, his son with his own BBC One show in 2015, 2016, right? His son with four Sunday times bestsellers. Dad would have literally been phoning all the relatives, you know, been the embarrassing dad telling everyone, dad never got to see any of it, but I know if that was still alive. Abiding If I was still in the mindset that I was when my dad was sick, I wouldn't have any time to engage in this stuff. Like life, if there's anyone listening to this who's a carer for someone in their life.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “It was like there was a big hole in my life. And so I would just go walking. I was just trying to make sense of everything. And the truth is the amount I learnt from dad's death. Just profound. I'm not sure I would have learnt these things. I was asking myself whose life are you really leading?”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “Changed the trajectory of my adult life. So yes, I was in Edinburgh. I finished off. I worked there for a couple years, but my mind was always back in the Northwest. And I moved back to the Northwest, which is one of the reasons I live there now, to help my mum and my brother look after dad. And it was incredibly stressful, particularly in the last years before dad. I had really, really stressful. And I would escape periodically. So coming back to your question about how does that impacted me, I wanted to do well. Like I got my specialist exams. I got those things. I thought, oh, that's what I'm doing. I'm doing the right thing. And then my dad died in 2013, March 2013.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “Yeah, so I went to university at Edinburgh, went to Edinburgh Medical School, you know, left home having the time of my life. Partying, you know, whatever, you know, people when they get that sort of sense of freedom for the first time. A lot of my uni life was spent playing in bands, right? So music is a big part of who I am, what I do, you know. So I'd be practicing loads, we'd be playing loads and loads of gigs. And then it all changed. I must have been 20, 21. I think mum phoned me at like 10 30 at night and said, hey, look, dad's in intensive care. The doctors don't think he's going to make it through the nights. Can you come back home? And I remember seeing dads in the insecticide unit. And he ended up surviving the night. His kidneys failed. He went on kidney dialysis for the next 15 years. But basically, dad getting ill.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “A lot there that I've come to terms with over the past few years, but for me, understanding that I can go back and rewrite those stories, put a different perspective on all those events has given me this real sense of freedom, calm contentness, and ultimately, you know, it's resulted in me feeling really, really happy.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “But it speaks to a situation there's different perceptions, right? So I spoke to mum recently. I said, hey, mum, why did you ask me those questions? Why did you push me so hard? And she said to me, because I knew you were capable. I wanted you to be the best that you could be. So mum did it with me from a place of love, right? She wanted the best for me, but walk around to the other side of that story. I internalized this idea that unless I get 100%, unless I win, I'm not good enough. I'm not loved. And I can now see that drove me my entire life, this need for external validation, what are other people saying about you? People say nice things you feel good. People say nasty things you are literally broken inside.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “When I'm top of the class, right? I'd come home if I got 99% in an exam. My mum would say, why didn't you get 100? If I came out with 19 out of 20 in a test, okay, what happened? Why didn't you get 20 What's really interesting about that is I'm not criticising my parents, right? I love my parents. I think they brought me up really well.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “For most of my life, I've not been myself. I've tried to do things to get validation and love from other people. And I've got to say it's only been in the last few years where I've managed to. Of let that go another piece there which I think is really relevant to your question is Because education was such a big thing. Because mom and dad, dad in particular, so much discrimination he faced. when he came here in his job he had to change career change speciality as a doctor because he just couldn't advance and so ultimately he ended up moving to a speciality he didn't like he didn't enjoy Give his family security. So, what do they want to do? They want their children to not have to go through that. So I grew up with this kind of idea that I'm only loved.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “So I grew up in the northwest of England and either mum and dad were immigrants from India. Dad came over in 1962 for a better life to the UK. Mum came over in 1972. I grew up, got an older brother. And like many immigrant families. Education was king. It was about get grades at school, go to a good university, get a good job. That was the kind of drive from home. My experience was very much, man, the culture at school is really different from the culture at home. And I didn't really think much of it at the time, but now in my early 40s, looking back and reflecting, as I've done for this new book, is Was incredibly problematic in many ways because You end up pretending that Be somebody you're not in order to fit in. And I can see now that's been a pattern.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “Appreciate you saying that, and likewise, I feel really honoured and excited to come on your show because I think long form conversation matters, and I don't think there's that many people in the UK doing it like you are like I am. And I think you're doing great things with your show. So I'm really excited just to have a long conversation with you. I don't know where it's going to go. But yeah, thanks for having me.”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “Sleep deprivation is associated with pretty much every single chronic disease we have compared to about 60 years ago we may have lost up to 25% of our sleep. The way society is set up now is making us lonely. We've moved away for work, we've moved away from our families, we don't have the tribes around us and it's very, very damaging for our health. It took me ages to figure this out so dots. I think you can always make a change, right? You can use these moments of diversity in your life to teach you something. It's the best journey you'll ever take, but it's a journey. It's not a one hit. The first step in any change is...”

    2022-03-28 · The Diary of a CEO · Dr Rangan Chatterjee: 3 Steps To "Core" Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT