YouSaid · the spoken record

Richard Osman

lines on the record: 126
first: 2022-10-20
most recent: 2022-10-20
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Sort of is the opposite of a tiger mother, you know, these mothers that make sure you're doing piano practice and French lessons and you're learning Mandarin and all this kind of stuff. She let me watch TV. She let my brother play his guitar and sort of trusted that we'd find our way in life. And that's, I think, certainly for me and my brother, often the best way to bring up kids is to let them find what they love and just let them get on with it.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, she is, let's say, she's a primary school teacher, so she's used to Know, if you ever went into a class that my mum's teaching, they'd be silent if she wanted them to be silent. But she was very, very softly spoken. And where she is now in her retirement village, which is the basis of the Thursday murder club books, she's surrounded by people with very strong opinions and very strong personalities. And my mum looks like she wouldn't say boo to a goose. She looks like she's very unassuming. But, you know, I know after these big meetings when they're all shouting at each other, my mum will be the one to stand up and just say, I wonder if we should do this and give the solution to the thing. You know, while everyone else's egos are sort of blown themselves out, she sort of slips in and sort of says, I wonder if we do this. And that's not just, by the way, oh, I'm kindly and wise. It's also she wants to get her own way. And she knows that that's the way to do it. So yes, she's very bright, very quiet, very unassuming.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Ah, my mom. Yeah, no, I'm definitely state by how I didn't have any other option than to be shaped by her because it was just me, her and my brother in the house. Yeah, no, I was very lucky to whatever my trauma and listen, we can overestimate these things because I was brought up in a very loving household and brought up in a very smart household. My mum became a primary school teacher after my dad left. you know just very wise and very protective and you know so i really in the sort of lottery of life's parents i i have to accept that the one i had was an awful lot better than the two that many people have”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I couldn't connect with him. I cried briefly at the end because I cried because of what could have been because of the relationship I'd missed, but I wasn't crying for him. And from the next day onwards, it didn't hit me again. There was no kind of aftershock. And that sort of really upset me that there was not, because I'm in a very emotional person. I'll cry anything. I'll cry at the repair shop. And I was sort of thinking, this has not knocked me particularly. And I thought that was very sad because what a waste of love. You know, what a waste of things that could have been. And my brother was the same. I said to my kids, did Uncle Matt cry? And they went, no, no, no, no. So, you know, it's the same thing. And people around him were crying. The people who he loved and who loved him. So he'd built that life, you know, without us. But for me, I just thought, oh, that's there it is. You know, my grandparents' funerals I was crying, my father's funeral. It was just, I was glad I was there, but there was, it just, you can't lie.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I went down with my brother funnily enough who had even less to do with him than I did. And my kids were there. And it was so unemotional. And, you know, I was very careful. You know, I thought, no, remember that sometimes these things hit you and this is your father and he's died.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you know what? I get why you did it, and now the stuff that I built up around it is now my responsibility, and it's my thing to deal with, not his.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now for me he didn't have the conversations with me that I needed. You know, there was no, he wasn't really apologetic. He didn't really understand. The first thing he said to me is, I bet you wonder what I've been up to since I left. And I thought, not really. You know, I sort of think maybe what I've been up to might be of interest to you. And so he just didn't have the vocabulary to reform the relationship. It's the truth. And I sort of felt he hadn't needed it. But I'd said to him towards the end of his life, I did say, have you had a happy life though? Have you had a happy life since you left? And he said, yes. I thought, do you know what? That's fine for me. That'll do me. Listen, I'd rather he was happy. But yeah, it's... It's a long journey to sort of go.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I mean, look, in my situation, I hadn't seen him for 20 years, and then I did see him. Maybe 18 years. And so, yeah, I'd had a long time to build that wall around me. I'd had conversations with him in my head a lot. And, you know, the conversations you have with people who aren't there become very powerful. And, you know, you'll constantly have that conversation. Again, this is why I'd say this is what I would say. And then you meet up and you start saying a couple of those things. And you're just there with a guy who's just saying, look, I was just unhappy. And, you know, I love you. And, you know, I wish I hadn't had to do it. You just go, it takes the sting out of all the conversations you've had over the years”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And not just forgive, but understand. The French say to understand all is to forgive all, which I sort of get. You know, if you're inside someone's head, you go, okay, I see it. I see why you did it. So listen, I'd rather he hadn't done it, but I understand entidy why he did. And yeah, that's, I guess, a very good example of empathy, the sort of empathy you wish you didn't have to have, but it's very useful.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think so. And it's an empathy for one's enemies. I don't wish to call them an enemy, but you know what I mean, for someone who's an antagonist in your life rather than a protagonist. People talk a lot about empathy. And I think they don't have empathy for their opponents or for people who disagree with them or for people who've lived a different experience. And you think that's empathy. Empathy is not just saying, I feel sorry for people, or can we help people? You know, that, of course, is empathy and it's kindness. But empathy is also why does half the country disagree with me? Why does half the country live their life in a different way? Why do they not care about what I care about? That's action empathy. And that's in shorter supply over time.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I have no resentment towards him anymore. I get it. I sort of wish that I loved him and I wish that I felt that love and I wish that I had that big sort of family thing. But gosh, there's worse problems in the world. But of course I understand why you did it. You know, it's the age old story. People have been doing it for generations and they'll keep doing it.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, easily because he's a human being, and I got it, and I got to the age that he was when he left, saw the situation that he had found himself in, and I thought, yeah, I get it. I see why he would do that. You know, I did the same. I left the mother of my children, hopefully in a very different way. But, you know, I absolutely get it. He found himself in a situation he couldn't get out of. So ran away. And, you know, I met him in later life and he was an all right guy. You know, he's a perfectly decent man, but he didn't have the language and he didn't have the brain space for that sort of conflict. He just didn't have it. He just was in a situation he didn't want to be in and ran away, which is very common. And again, people, you know, do it less now because, you know, you can talk to people and men didn't talk to other men then. You know, he found himself at a place in life where he just thought, I'm not who I need to be. You know, I'm unhappy. And so he found an excuse and left. And so I've always.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that's exactly right. And listen, there's an awful lot wrong with this new social media age. But one of the good things is if you are different, then you are supported and you have friendships around you. I'm listening, you're also attacked. That's the problem with social media age because suddenly you're seen as a group. But you are supported. You can find like-minded people. You can find people in the same position. No one at my school was from divorce parents. You know, just didn't, you know, when I went to comprehensive school, there was a few more, but not really. And now, of course, you can be on, you know, you can be online and you can meet a thousand people in your situation in one evening, you know, and that I think it would be rather helpful.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was the sort of hangover from the kind of post-war years where you just didn't complain. And that's still the mindset we had. So listen, if it had happened more recently, yeah, it would have been much simpler. And listen, I'd have found a different trauma. personality type seek out trauma is the truth and i would have found a different trauma um to explain away my differences but i think that um yeah i think that had it happened 30 years later conversations would have been had people would have sat in rooms and we'd have worked out what the best thing to do was but it's the world was such a different place in sort of 1979 it sort of feels very very recent to me uh but you know the the world the world was an entirely different place”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm not the sort of significant actor in that situation. You're not. Able to rationalize the world correctly. It's for the people around you. And there's no disrespect, by the way, to the people around me because you have very, very different times. And my mum had just been through the most extraordinary trauma. I mean, much more than I had been through. And so she was not in a position to act in my best interest there. And my dad wasn't in a better position to work in my interest. And nobody was. No one knew. You know, it was lots of talking about mental health now, and isn't it? But no one talked about that stuff back then. I mean, they really, really didn't talk about that stuff back then. You know, it just didn't exist. You know, you.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think it's interesting that because I don't think people, I don't think it's a real question because what you're really saying to people is would you erase who you are And would you erase? And, you know, of course, you wouldn't. Of course, you would not erase who you are because it's very dear to you. However, if you were able to live that other reality and live this reality and see which one of these you prefer, I think you'd say the one without the trauma is my opinion. None of us would ever say, yes, I want to erase who I was. Okay, I mean, it's crazy, but actually the truth is if we had the two side by side like a costa and a Starbucks and say which would you prefer, we would pick the, I don't know, which is the best one. I don't know yet.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, what happiness for. Because, I mean, listen, you've been enormously successful, right? But the question is why what are you after? Are you after money? Okay, you're after money. But why? What is it that money is doing for you? It can buy you certain things. Okay. Why do you want those things? What are they doing for you? And the answer is always one thing, which is happiness, contentment, right? Just comfort in and of yourself. That's what you want is to wake up in the morning and be comfortable with who you are, to have enough and to be comfortable with who you are. And I think that, you know, that's the thing. Happiness is the only thing we seek. And if I'd grown up happier, I think I would have found happiness easier to find. And, you know, my happiness has been hard won. And I'm happy that, you know, now it's great because I'm 51 and I'm in this lovely place. But then, you know, there's sort of 10, 15 years where you think, oh, you know what? I wish I wish I'd been more myself in those years and I would have taken much less success and much more happiness.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, it's a very good question. I sort of think that I would have done roughly the same thing. I think I would have ended up in TV or journalism or writing one way or another. I think that, and I especially think this with the books, I think that it has given me an empathy and for pain until you know I see pain in other people all the time and I see denial in other people all the time and I think those things go through the books so I think my books wouldn't be as good if I if I haven't gone through that trauma and again I trade the the two off in a heartbeat so I think I would have done the same thing but I don't think it would have had the same soul is the truth and therefore I don't think it would have had quite the same impact or success”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's because you're so far away from where you need to be. And lots of people will fill that gap with addictions and drugs and booze and weird behaviors. But eventually, I think most people work out the reason the world doesn't seem right is I'm not right, you know, and some people narcissists will try and drag the world to them. Look at Trump. He tries to drag the world to him all the time because of his childhood, which we get, right? But most people at some point just go, no, I've got to make that leap. I've got to leap back to where I was, which is a long journey, but a worthwhile one. But I think it's just, we just keep going just slightly off course, slightly off course. And the longer that goes on for.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Here's the way I always think about it. Listen, people tell you there's no such thing as truth. And of course, that's true. I get it. There's no such thing as actual reality. But I think our personalities, we sort of have a true north, right? Which if nothing goes wrong or if we respond to trauma well, we carry on our life and the true north goes up through us and we sort of dance around it and we can sort of wander in and out the fields around this sort of true north. If you deviate from true north, especially very young, then suddenly true north is here and you're heading off in this direction, right? And for quite a while, you're not very far from your true north. But if you're like 15, 20 years in, you're so far away from what you should be. Right now, you don't know that you're telling a lie. Okay, that's the absolute key. You don't know that you're lying to yourself. So what you're seeing is the reality of the world seems alien to you and you can't work out why. You think, why don't I fit in? Why am I not sort of doing the right things?”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think when you get into your teenage years, you are working out who you are. And all of us change and we change in reaction to the world around us and new things that we experience and new friends and new schools, we become different people. But I think if at the heart of it there is a lie, so my lie would be everything is okay. I don't need my dad to be around. It's okay that I hear my mom crying at night. You know, if that's my lie, then everything I build is built on a fault line. You know, so everything is built on that fault line. So however big, I build my personality, there's going to come a point and happen to me probably late 20s when there's an earthquake because that fault line gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. So it's just, but we all build our personalities. And if you build them on truth, if you build them on firm foundations, if you build them on good faith, then you have a chance. If you build them on fault lines, then it always comes out.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Have absolutely come to terms with it, come to peace with it. And, you know, I always say trauma is not the problem. It's an inability to deal with trauma is the problem. You know, if you have a trauma of any type and you are looked after and you're guided through it, you can probably come out the other side. If, however, you're sort of left alone in your trauma and you come up with your own solutions, your own solutions never work. So I definitely had that. I try and use, you know, I'm very connected still to the nine-year-old weirdly because I've had that sort of interregnum where I was a slightly different person. So I'm always able to find that nine-year-old. And that nine-year-old was very interested in new things and what's on telly and who's playing football this afternoon and what's in the pop charts and that's the stuff that I loved when I was nine and it's the stuff that I still love now. I'm always, always what's next, what's next, what's next.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, there's similarity. So I was nine. My father left when I was nine, and this being the 1970s, we didn't really see him again. It wasn't touchy-feely. Everyone still loves each other. It was, you know, off he went. And so, yeah, I was probably the same, but quite happy-go-lucky up to that age. And then afterwards, you sort of have to, you know, build a mask for yourself a little bit and pretend you're okay and pretend you're not in pain. Weirdly, that ability to sort of create your own narrative was helpful in my later career. You know, I'd rather not have had it. But that ability to sort of pretend that everything's okay and to write a different story, which is very much what I did. But yeah, I think that anyone who's had that sort of disconnect, it affects them one way or another. And it was very, you know, an unhappy time and it's led to lots of unhappiness since then. But it doesn't make me unhappy anymore for sure.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's a good question. Well, if you mean professionally the man I went on to be, I grew up loving popular culture, loving mainstream culture, loving mainstream television. So that's always been in my soul. I came from a big working class family and now find myself in a very middle class world. So I sort of have a sense of what different people from different places in Britain like to watch or like to read. So that really, and you know, I grew up, visually, very visually impaired, so I don't see the world particularly brilliantly, but I'm always listening to the world. I'm always interested in what people are saying and, you know, getting that sort of thing. So I think that combination of things means I've had a career of sort of working out what people might quite like and then finding the right people to help me make those things.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, it's an addiction. There's no other way of putting it. It's like having a bottle of vodka, then having another bottle of vodka, then having another bottle of vodka. If you see somebody is different, they do not need to be told. I've had that with my hype, you know, and I know you're just thinking, yeah, but it's just me. You think, yeah, but it's just you and five other people every single day. I didn't live the life I should have done for many years. I wish I'd been more myself in those years and I would have taken much less success and much more happiness.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you have a trauma of any type and you are looked after and you're guided through it, you can come out the other side. If, however, you're sort of left alone in your trauma, your own solutions never work. I never sat and thought, oh, I've got a problem with my life. But I would have addictive behaviors around food.”
2022-10-20 · The Diary of a CEO · Richard Osman: The Untold Story Of A TV Legend's Addiction · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT